Rating M

Disclaimer – Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight –
I just like to get weird with her characters.

Much love and thanks to my beta love, Carrie ZM, and my wonderful pre-readers,
Planetblue and Robsmyyummy Cabanaboy for all the time you've put into this fic.
Writing with you girls is always a blast!

"What does one wear to a smoke session?"

Emmett shrugs, not looking up from the flax seed packages he's comparing. "No clue."

I toss a box of Captain Crunch into our shopping cart. "Helpful."

He shakes his head. "Not going there. This is one of those things you should call your sister about."

"I can't talk to Ang about this. You know how she lives to judge."

His head snaps up. "You haven't told her yet?"

"Are you kidding? No way. You know how scary she is when she's pregnant."

"True."

"That makes you the next best thing since you have more body and facial products than anyone I know."

"I'm not a chick."

"You're like a big, buff girl." I smack his bicep and feel the muscle tighten. "Eww. Quit flexing."

"Why?" he asks, waggling his brows and making his pecs dance which he knows it skeeves me out.

"Oh my God, that's so gross!" I cover my eyes then peek out a few seconds later to see him laughing while the party continues under his shirt. "Stahp! That's so weird."

"Uh, no. Weird is when you ask me girlie shit like what to wear."

"Fine, new topic."

"New topic."

"Should I get Ang a gift card for a vaginal steam after the baby comes?"

"Dear God, why?"

"I don't know, wouldn't it be nice to give her hardworking nethers a spa day?"

"No, I mean why do you ask me shit like that? You know I just pictured her snatch and now I can't unsee it."

"Well, I can't unsee the pictures you texted of the shit you took yesterday, so maybe we're even."

"Nope, not even close. You wanted to scar me for life, whereas I sent you that image for a business purpose. Do you know how much a picture of a piece of shit that looks like Donald Trump would go for on eBay?"

I roll my eyes. "So do you want to help me pick what I'm going to wear to this thing, or do you want me to tell you the shape to which Ang's lady garden is hedged?"

With a groan he widens his arms. "Dude, seriously."

"Seriously." We round the corner into the cookie aisle and I toss a package of Chips Ahoy into the cart. "Now, since this question isn't vagina or feces related, can't you just help a girl out?"

He grabs the cookies from the cart and puts them back on the shelf. "Well obviously you don't want to roll up in sweats and a T-shirt. This is his business, so you want to look nice."

"Right." I grab a package of Oreos and throw them in the cart instead.

"But not too nice." He pulls the Oreos out and puts them away. "You don't want to show up looking like you're going to the club."

I let him walk ahead of me and take the Oreos again, hiding them behind my back before slyly tucking them in the cart beside the toilet paper. "Totally."

"Less is more. Maybe just some nice jeans and a top."

"Got it."

He snatches the Oreos and waves them in my face. "See, this is why you don't come to the grocery store hungry. Last time you bought these you ate them all in one sitting."

"I'm pretty sure that's the serving size."

"Wrong," he tosses the package back on the shelf, "the serving size is three cookies."

"You are a thief of joy, Emmett McCarty."

He winks. "You're welcome."

I cross my arms over my chest, willing myself not to pout. "I think I'm just a nervous eater."

"You've got nothing to be nervous about. The guy's into you."

"I guess."

"Please, you guys were on the phone the past few nights for forever," he says, hopping on the cart and whizzing by me. "I mean who even calls to chat anymore? Just send texts all night like normal people do."

"I don't know." I look down at my toes and grin from ear to ear. "It was kind of sweet. Old school or something."

"Definitely old school. He was probably calling you from a landline."

I laugh. "He's not that old."

"Your dad's gonna flip."

"Probably."

"I want to be there when you tell Ang."

"I'll probably need you there when I tell Ang."

"Why? You think she'll go wild?"

"You never know," I say with a shrug, feeling slightly guilty for talking about my sister like this. We're closer than close and far more co-dependent than most would consider healthy. She's a Charlie Swan, Jr., though. Typical type A personality with a great big heart. "It's a crapshoot."

He grabs a box of microwave popcorn off the shelf and shakes it at me with a smile. "I can't wait!"

"Hello." Edward's voice rings out from the intercom, crackling through the speaker.

"Hey, it's me … uh, Bella." I cringe when I see the camera lens.

"Come on up," he says with a laugh. "Take the elevator to the fifth floor."

The buzzer sounds and the door unlatches. I blow out a deep breath and push it open, remembering the first time I came through this back hallway on the night I met Edward. The freight elevator creaks as it climbs and with each floor that passes I can feel my entire body buzzing with anticipation.

When I reach the fifth floor, he's there waiting with one arm propped against the door jamb, the other stuffed in his pocket. Something about the bed head in a button-down-look just does things to me. Top it off with a killer smile and I'm a goner.

He mouths a 'hi' as he pushes the cage door over and I just stand there grinning like an idiot, holding up two bags of Doritos, "I panicked at the grocery store. Is this okay?"

"Cool Ranch and Original." He smirks. "They're going to love you."

I laugh. "Sadly, there're no smoke session recipes on recipes-dot-com, so I took a shot in the dark."

He takes the bags of chips into one hand and slips his other palm against mine, pulling me out of the elevator. "Pretty much anything sold at a gas station qualifies as a smoke session provision."

"Noted." I nod and entwine my fingers with his. "I didn't know you lived in the building."

"Yep," he winks, "one of the perks of being related to the owner."

"Carlisle?"

Edward nods once, the corner of his mouth lifting slightly. "Of course." He chuckles and pushes open his apartment door, pulling me in behind him. "The man can squeeze a nickel out of anything."

"It's gorgeous," I say, looking around the open space and nodding toward the floor to ceiling windows that are just visible over the partition. "Lots of light."

"Yeah," he surveys the room, "not what you expected, huh?"

"Not even close."

"Lemme hear it."

"No beaded doorways? Or tie-dye tapestries?" I point to the empty space above his mantle. "No huge marijuana leaf mounted over the fireplace?"

"Sadly, no," he says, tossing the bags of chips onto the counter before resting his hands on his hips. "Although an oversize leaf would really tie the room together."

"I'm kidding. This place is great." My fingers move over the top of his soft leather couch. "So how does this work – the whole smoke session thing? Like what should I expect?"

"Well," he grabs a large box off his kitchen table and brings it to the living area, "basically everyone will come in, exchange a few pleasantries and shoot the shit for a bit."

"And then?"

"And then come the pot-li-tics."

"Pot-li-tics?"

"Yeah, you know, everyone's gotta get in their opinion. Who's smoked the best herb, who's rolled the fattest blunt, whose preferred method of toking up is the best." He shrugs one shoulder. "Pot-li-tics."

"I see." Tapping my finger on my chin, I move to stand beside him. "So basically it starts off as a circle jerk then turns into a dick waving contest?"

His fingers grip the box, jostling it slightly as his shoulders shake with quiet laughter. After a few moments he composes himself and looks up at me, grin firmly in place. "Pretty much, though I can't say I've ever been to a circle jerk or a dick waving contest."

"Sure you have," I pick up a bright green bong from the box in his hands and wink, "you've been on Facebook, right?" I look away, but hear the box shaking again. "So pot-li-tics aside, they just come and sample your work and then go home?"

"For the most part. They're touring the facility right now and then Carlisle, Jenks, and Jake are taking them to dinner afterwards."

"You're not going?"

He steps closer and I feel his fingers brush softly against mine. "I was thinking I could take you out—"

"YO!" Jenks' voice echoes through the open space as he bursts through the door.

Edward mutters a quiet 'shit' and greets Jenks with a jerk of his chin before glancing back down at me.

Jenks' footsteps stop. "Oh damn, man. I'm sorry."

"It's fine," I call out behind me, before turning back to Edward. My fingers move up his forearm and over his stomach to tug on his shirt. I lean in close, my voice just above a whisper. "I'd love to."

"How you doin', Bella?" Jenks asks, sweeping me into a great big hug.

"Doing well, you?" I pat his back a few times and thankfully he's down with my three pat rule.

"Doin' what I do, you know?"

I don't know, but I nod anyway just as the door swings open again, this time Jake comes charging in, sounding winded.

"On their way," he pants, bending over to rest his hands on his knees. "Carlisle's bringing them up."

"Did you take the stairs or something?" Edward asks, looking equal parts amused and concerned.

"You better get it together, boy," Jenks warns. "Tanya will be up soon."

"Shut up," Jake grumbles, standing and straightening his clothes before stepping back outside with Jenks to welcome the guests.

My voice lowers. "I thought he was with Leah?"

"He is."

"And Tanya?"

"An old flame."

"An old flame?"

"There may be some unfinished business there."

"But he's marrying Leah?"

"That's his plan."

"So why is Tanya here?"

"That's Jenks' plan."

"I didn't take Jenks for a saboteur."

Edward chuckles and shakes his head slightly, pulling a bag of buds from the box. Voices from the hall become louder and louder until the door swings open and several new faces file in.

I watch Edward interact with each of them. He's all business with his smooth handshakes and salesman smile. That is until the tall, gorgeous blonde steps in the room with Jake trailing closely behind.

"E.C.," her voice is soft and sultry as she draws out his name and places her hands on his shoulders, "it's been too long."

He pulls her in for a hug. "How've you been, Tan?"

"Fair to middling. You?"

Stepping back, he shoves his hands in his pockets and glances in my direction. "Never better."

She follows his gaze and her smile deepens. "I can tell."

Reaching out, she takes my hand in both of hers to introduce herself. Within three minutes of speaking to her, I'm Team Jenks and a willing saboteur. This chick is everything that Leah's not. She's Kate Nash cool, all effortless and easy with her vintage looking dress and her air of not giving a single fuck.

Once everyone finds a seat, Carlisle and Edward greet the group, thanking everyone for traveling in to check out their product and facilities. They get right down to business, introducing a representative from Rosebud Labs to verify the findings on E.C. Kush. Bumbling and awkward, the rep explains the process and rigorous testing procedures.

Edward looks tense and anxious throughout the presentation with his arms folded over his chest and his lips pressed together tightly. Carlisle is wholly the opposite, looking relaxed and grinning as he watches the group like he's mentally counting the dollar signs. When the rep finally confirms the high THC percentage, Edward's stiff posture relaxes and an incredible smile breaks out over his face.

"Thirty one percent?" Tanya asks, leaning forward to make sure she hears him right, but he answers with a nod. "You're sure?"

"Told you he'd do it," Jake murmurs to her, but I doubt she heard him because she and all of the other tokers in the room are eying the nugs of E.C. Kush on the table like they've all just won the pot Powerball.

Carlisle excuses himself to escort the lab rep out of the building. Once the door is shut, the real smoke session begins as all of the guests scoot closer to the coffee table, grabbing their preferred paraphernalia and buds.

Jenks stands and addresses the room. "I wanted to thank you all for comin' today. Figured I should do some introductions." He places his hand on the shoulder of the guy sitting next to him. "From Philly, where the steak is skinny and the blunts are fat, this is my man, Kid Caius." Squeezing the brim of his Eagle's hat and keeping it low over his eyes, Kid Caius acknowledges the room with a small jerk of his chin.

"Mmm, mm, mm," Jenks begins as he bows down to kiss the hand of the teeny-tiny-tatted-up brunette wearing a wife-beater and camo pants beside Kid Caius. "And now the sweetest Georgia peach I know, my cannabis queen. From the Peaches and Herb blog, I'd like you all to meet ATL Ali." Giggling, she gives us a royal wave, holding the big green bong like a scepter.

"Now out of H-town," Jenks continues, motioning to a shaggy looking blonde haired dude, "eh, I've got nothin'. This is our boy, J-Blunts." This guy is the quintessential stoner sporting the drug-rug-poncho pullover with cargo shorts and about three days worth of B.O. He drawls out a 'sup' and tips his imaginary hat to the group before going back to the business of grinding the Kush.

The word is barely out of J-Blunts' mouth when the tall, lanky guy tinkering with what I'm guessing is the vaporizer cuts in. "I'm Seth. I run the Green Scene YouTube channel." He pauses like we're all going to bum rush him for an autograph, but no one in the group looks up, not even Edward. "It's a weekly show," he tries again with his eyes scanning the room for even a hint of recognition or acknowledgement. "It's pretty popular."

Tanya gives him a saccharine smile and pats his knee. "Good for you, kiddo."

Jenks introduces Tanya and me next, calling her his lovely lady friend and me his fellow Awarican. Most of the guests give me a head nod or a wave, but Seth gives me a whistle, a wink and a questionable God Bless Awarica.

Once introductions are over, the conversation shifts from who's who to who's done what. While J-Blunts tells this insane story about dabbing, Edward grabs some rolling papers and a nug. I watch him lay out the materials before him, all evenly spaced and methodically like Dexter preparing his kill room. Every movement and measurement is precise, from the size of the bud he selects to grind to the careful canoe shaped folding of the paper.

"What should we roll today?" Jake asks, rubbing his hands together.

Edward shakes his head. "You ask that every time and you always end up rolling the same thing."

"There's more than one way to roll a joint?" I blurt my thought aloud and instantly wish I could take it back.

"Of course there is," Jake answers with a grin. "There's the pinner, the Dutch Tulip, the Windmill–"

Edward chimes in, "The L, the XXL, the Pitchfork, the Joker—"

Jake starts up again, "The Crossroads, the Saturday Night Special, the Plumber's Joint—"

"I get it, Bubba Gump," I say with a roll of my eyes, "there's more than one way to cook shrimp."

Chuckling, Jake jerks his thumb towards me. "She's got jokes."

Edward bumps his knee to mine. "You want to roll one?" I hesitate, but then he slides closer, "Come on, I'll help you."

The man has the patience of Job as he teaches me how to roll a j. His voice is smooth and steady while he instructs me, leaning in and positioning my fingers when necessary.

"You got it," he encourages with a smile, "now you just want to pinch the top and roll it back and forth."

"Like this?" I use my thumbs and pointer fingers to shape the weed.

"Yep," he nods then places his fingers over mine to help me tuck paper tightly around, "and now you just need to, uh," he pauses for a moment, wetting wet his lips, "seal it right across the top."

"Like this?" The tip of my tongue slips out and I slowly slide it across the paper, his eyes watching every movement.

"Yeah," he breathes.

I hold up the crooked and slightly damp joint. "Well?"

He pats my knee. "It takes practice, but that's pretty good for your first time."

"That's why you should vape," Seth speaks up from across the table, attaching some sort of bag balloon to his Jetson's-looking-contraption. "No muss, no fuss. And none of that origami shit."

I hear Jake groan and notice Edward shake his head before going back to finish rolling his joint from earlier.

Either Seth is oblivious or just gives no fucks because he continues his spiel, "Not only that, but vaping is better for you. It's a pure hit, smooth and fast. No smoke inhalation, no skunky smell in the room. Good for the dorms, apartments—"

"Your mom's basement," Jake chimes in.

Almost everyone in the room is laughing, except for Seth who's too focused on watching his bag fill with vapor. "Whatever, man."

"You're missing the point of it all, young buck," Edward pipes up, his words coming out slow and deliberate. "Rolling isn't about efficiency. It's about the ritual. The craft …" he trails off with his eyes fixed on the grinder in his hands. "The skill level involved in expertly manipulating the paper and making sure the weed's spread evenly for the best burn. Makes the high more … satisfying somehow, knowing that you've earned it."

"Mmm hmm," Jenks concurs while Jake and Kid Caius nod emphatically.

"Right," Seth drags out the word condescendingly. "You go ahead and roll your papers, Grandpa Simpson. I'll be over here getting high AF."

"Dayum!" Jake and Jenks say in unison Friday style like Smoky and Craig before bursting into laughter.

Edward grins tightly and his eyes narrow as he scoots forward, "See, that right there," he jabs a finger in Seth's direction, "that's what's wrong with all of you coming up right now. Always in such a hurry and all about that instant gratification. You're all climax, kid. No build-up. No work on your part. It's laziness, plain and simple." Seth rolls his eyes, but Edward keeps going, "You've gotta slow down, son. Enjoy the high. Take it slow and work up to that shit. And for God's sake, stop saying AF. Take the time to say the words because every now and then it just feels good to say fuck."

Apart from a few chuckles and the sounds of ATL Ali's bong water bubbling, an awkward silence fills the room. Edward goes back to grinding his weed and Seth fastens his lips to a mouthpiece, inhaling the vapor from his bag. As much as I want to replay the memory of the beautiful way Edward's lips wrapped themselves around that f-bomb, I can't because it's clear the circle jerk portion of the evening is over and we've sadly arrived at the dick waving contest.

Tanya coughs beside me, staring at her pipe with this insane smile on her face, but it still does nothing to break the tension in the room. My eyes water a bit as the smoke floats through the air and the smell gets stronger by the second.

"You okay?" Edward murmurs, rubbing a soothing hand on my knee.

I nod. "You?"

He chuckles and dips his chin in Seth's direction, keeping his voice low, "What, that?"

"Yeah," I whisper watching him bring the unsealed joint to his lips.

"That's pot-li-tics," he says with a wink before moving the tip of his tongue across the paper.

Not even ten minutes later, the awkwardness is gone. Everyone's sitting around, vegging out, bullshitting about this and that all while munching on Doritos. Kid Caius has his head tipped back on the loveseat with his eyes closed, listening to his headphones while Seth gives J-Blunts and ATL Ali a vape tutorial so they too can get high AF.

Jenks, Jake ,and Tanya take turns telling stories about the old days, laughing as they reminisce. And Edward's just there, leaning back and taking it all in with his arm draped over the back of the couch and his freshly rolled, unsmoked joint behind his ear.

About an hour later, Carlisle returns to collect his VIPs for their dinner reservation. Edward sends each one off with a handshake, a promise to follow-up and a little E.C. Kush to remember THC by. Seth's the last one to leave, strutting up to me and taking my hand in his.

"Bella, it was a pleasure. You are," he pauses to bring my hand to his lips all Pepé le Pew style, "absolutely exquisite."

Chuckling, I gently pull my hand from his grasp. "And you are very, very high."

His eyes move to Edward, who's watching the interaction with a somewhat amused expression on his face. "True, but you are nonetheless."

"Well, thank you." I look away, hoping he doesn't ask for my number when I feel Edward at my side.

"E.C." Seth extends his hand. "Thanks for having me out, man."

"No problem. We appreciate you coming," he lies smoothly.

Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Seth bobbles his head a few times. "Although I think you're kind of an asshole, you've got a killer product here."

Edward smirks at the backhanded compliment but says nothing.

"I mean, I gotta say, when Carlisle first approached me, I thought he was gonna float me some of that boutique bud. All pretty but puny. No kick. But this shit here, man …" He whistles low. "It's dope."

"That it is."

Once he sees Seth out, he presses his back against the closed door and blows out a deep breath, though he looks anything but relaxed.

"Are you all right?" I ask, taking a seat on the couch.

"Uh huh."

"You sure?" I pat the cushion beside me. "You look anxious."

Shrugging one shoulder, he pushes off the door and plops down next to me. "A little."

"Why? I thought it went great."

"I guess we'll see," he says, pulling the joint from his ear and tossing it on the table beside my pitiful first attempt at rolling, and I huff at how unfortunate mine looks next to his. "What?"

I gesture towards our handiwork on the table. "One of these things is not like the other."

"It's the beauty on the inside that counts."

"Said every ugly joint ever." I pick his up and inspect it from every angle. "Are you going to smoke this?"

He shakes his head. "I try to only allow myself one a week."

"Really?"

"Yep. Every Sunday morning in bed with my paper." I look at him skeptically. "What? You don't believe me?"

"I totally believe you, I just find it funny that you still read," I use Em's air quotes, "the paper."

"Believe it," he laughs and tries to pluck the joint from my fingers but I snatch my hand back.

"Do you make exceptions?"

"To reading the paper?"

"To your once a week rule."

"Not usually."

"Bummer." Pursing my lips, I hold the joint out for him to take.

"You want to try it?"

I shrug. "I'm … curious."

He hesitates before slowly holding his hand out. "It might be too—"

I cut him off, leaning in close to whisper. "Just one hit."

Running his teeth over his bottom lip, he nods and grabs a lighter from the table, then brings the joint to his mouth. The lighter flicks and the flame lights up his face as he squints and takes a deep pull. Turning to me he sucks it back and holds it there.

"I thought you don't share."

Smirking, he dips his face to mine and I feel this thumb softly brushing my cheek. "I don't," he murmurs against my lips before exhaling slowly.

I close my eyes, enjoying the feel of his lips barely dusting mine before breathing him in. The plume of smoke fills my mouth, and I inhale deeply letting him fill my lungs.

His fingertips sweep gently down my neck and he speaks softly, "Open your eyes, Bella." Our gazes meet through the haze of smoke and he inches back just slightly. "Now exhale."

My eyes water as it burns in my chest, and I cough so hard the smoke just billows out of my mouth and not in the sexy way I've seen on Tumblr.

"You good?" he asks, still holding my face in his hand.

I nod and try to look away, my cheeks flushing with heat and embarrassment. "Wrong pipe, I think."

"Eh, it happens to the best of us. Maybe we should've gone with a lollipop instead."

"No." I shake my head, placing my hand over his.

"No?"

"Then I'd miss the best part."

Leaning in, I watch his eyes flicker to mine as I press my mouth to his once, then again and again until I close my eyes and feel him smile against my lips.

"Definitely the best part," he breathes, slipping his fingers into my hair and parting his lips.

Warm and wet, our mouths move together and dear God, he kisses like he tokes. Long and slow and so, so deep. We pull apart panting, resting our foreheads together and staring into each other's eyes.

"Dinner?" he asks, sounding breathless.

"Sure."

"I thought we'd try this new place down the street for our second date."

"You mean first."

"The investor dinner was the first."

I shake my head. "Business function. Confirming with an email is kind of ambiguous, don't you th—"

He silences me with a kiss.

And there's nothing ambiguous about that.

Dinner is a four hour affair spent mostly with us laughing and loitering and kissing whenever we can. We're that couple in the restaurant. The ones that think they have the entire place to themselves. It's disgusting, but I love it.

That night, when I creep into my apartment, I hear Emmett's bedroom door open, then see Rose peek around the corner from the hall.

"How was it?" she whispers.

I sigh. "Amazing."

"Oh my God, did you—"

"We didn't."

She hums and taps her nails on the wall and I realize there's a good chance she's naked back there.

"Do you have clothes on?" I blurt, averting my eyes. "Dude, certain things are required for civilized conversation. Shirts, undergarments, shoes if your feet look like Emmett's." She grins and steps out from the hallway fully covered, wearing Em's 'Gym and Juice' T-shirt. "Sorry."

She shrugs. "No undergarments, though."

I roll my eyes and reach into my cleaning supply cabinet where I house my super-secret-stash of Salerno Butter Cookies.

"So?"

"So it was great."

"Still just friends?"

I shake my head, remembering the way he kissed me against my car tonight and left me with no doubt that he and me are in fact a we. "We're much more than friends."

"You look really happy."

"I am," I say before popping a cookie in my mouth.

And I swear I've never been higher.

A/N: Only three chapters left, pals! Hope you're still having fun with it!

Big thanks and love to our bestie Planetblue for rec'ing Kush!

So this week we've got two extra special WIP recs that you're all probably reading already, and if you aren't you should be because these fics are fab as are the amazing ladies who write them. They're two of my very nearest and dearest and they deserve all the love!

Edward Takes a Holiday by Planetblue - *Carrie ZM dons a fedora and Lay rocks some Crocs* PB is back, killing it as always!

Far Away Flame by Robsmyyummy Cabanaboy - *Lay and Carrie belt out Eternal Flame* Yum's serving up all the swoons, sighs and smiles with this one!

Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, followed, fav'd, rec'd, tweeted or lurked this fic!