"Hi, Daddy. It's been a long time."
"What the…?" Sam said, taking a long look at Kayla. "How?"
"It's a long story." Kayla said.
"How…how old are you?"
Kayla laughed. "Mom always taught me that was a rude question."
"Sorry, you're right…"
"It's okay. I don't think she foresaw you asking me that. I'm fifty-two." Kayla said.
"How are you doing this?"
"Sorry. Can't tell you that. Spoilers." Kayla said.
Sam cocked an eyebrow in confusion. "What?"
Kayla laughed. "It'll make sense in a couple years."
"So, you can't tell me anything about…well, anything, can you?"
"You mean about the future? No." Kayla said. "But, to make a very long and complicated story short, I was given the ability to make a wish and I chose to come back in time and show you what I showed you."
"Why did you show me?" Sam asked. "Honey, I'm so sorry…."
"Shh. Stop. I'll explain, but you got to let me get this out. Okay?"
"Alright." Sam said,
"I showed you because I wanted you to see. I wanted you to see that yes, you made some mistakes. Both of us did. But the thing is this. What happened to me, what Art did to me, it left a wound. A big, gaping, oozing wound that I couldn't understand and I couldn't heal on my own. I was so ashamed of myself that I thought if I told you it would chase you and Mommy away."
"Honey, no…" Sam said.
"I know now that that's not the case. That's not what this is about." Kayla said. "I'm telling you this so you can understand. Just let me get it out."
"Okay."
"You spent years feeling guilty after I moved back in. You were constantly apologizing for being tough on me when I was hurting. I tried to convince you it was okay, but, it was like you blamed yourself for it and there was no way to convince you otherwise."
"I just never realized how much what I did hurt you too." Sam said.
"You tried to raise me to be the person you knew I could be. I didn't see that at the time, but I did as I grew up. And let me guess. You still beat yourself up over sending me to Grandpa's?"
"Of course I do." Sam said. "That's the last thing you needed…"
"That was exactly what I needed. And despite it tearing your heart out, you did it for me." Kayla said. "Listen to me. I know you didn't know this at the time, but sending me to Grandpa's was a good thing. Maybe not for exactly the reasons you thought, but it was good. It hurt, a lot, but it got me out of the rut I was in."
"What do you mean?" Sam asked.
"Well, hanging around the house kept me reliving it. It kept me in a constant fear and dread that he was gonna come back. But once I was gone, I could focus on what I should have been focusing on. School, friends, homework."
"I didn't think of it like that." Sam said. "You always seemed so upset about it."
"Come on. Do you really think a teenager is going to tell you that you were right?"
Sam laughed. "I guess not."
"Seriously, though. That's why I came back and did this. I need for you to know and you need to hear it. You need to hear it in here." Kayla pointed to Sam's heart and said, "You are a good dad. You're an amazing father. You made a choice that helped me, no matter how much it hurt. And I never forgot that."
"Wow." Sam said. "I don't know what to say."
"Look, I can't give you specific details about the future. But I can tell you this. I married a wonderful man that loved me with his whole heart and soul. In fact, he reminded me of you."
"Me?"
"Yep." Kayla said.
"Did I like him?" Sam asked.
"You…pretended not to. But I could see right through you." Kayla said. She suddenly laughed and looked like the spitting image of her mother.
"What?"
"You, um, you actually cheered when I told you and Mom that I was getting married."
"I what?" Sam asked.
"You cheered." Kayla said. "I was so nervous about telling you that I held off on it for days. Then when you found out you actually cheered."
"That doesn't sound like me."
"It will." Kayla said. "But that's not what's important. I meant what I said about you being a good dad. But there's something else too."
"What?"
"You need to understand that it's not over. Not for Kayla. Um, younger Kayla anyway."
"What do you mean?" Sam asked.
"I mean that she's getting better. But there's still days where she feels like the two of you deserve better than her. Like she's not as good a person anymore as she was."
"That's ridiculous!"
Kayla smiled. "I knew you'd say that. But see, what happened to me, it got down into here." Kayla took Sam's hand and pointed at her own heart. "What you need to do is take all this bad stuff out of here and replace it."
Sam smiled. "You sound just like your mother."
"I'll take that as a compliment." Kayla said. "But anyway, it's true."
"What do you mean I need to replace it?" Sam asked.
"Well, think about what you learned with this."
"What do you mean?"
"Would you let me get away with that answer?" Kayla asked, raising an eyebrow.
Sam chuckled again. "No. Alright, what did I learn here?" Sam thought back sadly to what he'd witnessed and came to a startling realization. "I didn't start it."
"Start what?"
"Her feeling like she didn't deserve us." Sam said.
"That's right." Kayla said. "What else?"
"I did my best with what I knew at the time."
"Very good." Kayla said. "My big point is this. What you need to do for Kayla is tell her, over and over and over again, that one, it's not her fault. Two, you forgive her. And three, and this is most important, that you'll always be there for her and that you treasure her. No matter what."
"You knew that, didn't you?" Sam asked, worried.
"I knew that you sincerely felt that way. But I didn't feel that way." Kayla said. "I don't know if you've ever noticed, but you tend to think you should say something once and that's it."
Sam chuckled. "I guess you're right."
"It's gonna take time. Just be patient, and just keep saying it. Until I get sick of hearing it, and even after." Kayla said.
"I can do that." Sam said. "I can definitely do that."
"I have to go." Kayla said.
"What? No!"
"Relax. You'll see me again." Kayla said. "But my time's almost up."
"I know you said you couldn't tell me anything, but will you answer one question for me?"
"Depends on what it is." Kayla said.
"Are you happy?"
"Yes." Kayla said, with not an ounce of hesitation. "Yes, I am. Now it's time for you to wake up."
"Daddy."
Sam gasped and sat straight up in the bed. "What?"
"Daddy, are you okay? I heard you all the way in my room."
Sam was shaken from the dream he had just had. But the Kayla in front of him was the right age. She was still dressed in her PJs, her hair a mess from sleeping. Jess was sleeping next to him. Sam checked the clock next to the bed. 4:15am.
"Daddy?"
"I'm fine, baby. Just had a…weird dream." Sam said. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to recover his composure. "Did you sleep okay in your new room?"
"Yeah. I love it."
"Good." Sam said. "Hey, why don't you climb up here with me and Mommy? Mary'll be up soon."
"I'm a little big for that, aren't I?"
"Never." Sam said. "Come on."
Kayla grinned and got on the bed between her parents. Her motion woke up Jess, who checked the clock too. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah. I just couldn't sleep, so I came in here with you and Daddy." Kayla said.
"Why couldn't you sleep?" Jess asked with a yawn. "You okay?"
"Yeah. It's just a new place." Kayla said. "So, Daddy, what was your dream about?"
"Dream? What dream?" Jess asked.
"That's not important." Sam said. "Jess, turn the lamp on. We need to have a talk with Kayla."
"Am I in trouble?" Kayla asked.
"No. No, baby, you're not. I promise." Sam said. "But I'm gonna ask you some questions, and I want you to tell me the truth, okay? The whole truth and nothing but."
"Okay. The truth about what?"
"Sam, what's going on?" Jess asked.
"Just trust me." Sam said. "Kay, do you remember the day that Mommy and I came home and you had cut your finger making a sandwich?"
Kayla shifted and looked away uncomfortably. "Yeah."
"Did you cut yourself on purpose?"
"How did you know about that?" Kayla asked.
"It's true?" Jess asked. "Kay, why would you do that?"
When Kayla shook her head, Sam asked, "Do you want me to tell her?"
"Yeah."
Sam sighed. "That was the first time, Jess."
"The first time…" Jess's mouth opened in horror when she realized. "Oh, baby."
"I didn't want you guys to know, but I couldn't stop crying and I didn't know what else to tell you."
"And have you been feeling like you don't deserve me and Mommy?" Sam asked.
Kayla nodded. "Yes."
"One more question. Is there anything else you've been feeling that we need to know about? Especially since you moved back in with me and Mommy?"
"Well, yeah. I'm worried." Kayla said.
"Worried about what?" Jess asked.
"What's gonna happen the next time I get in trouble." Kayla said. "I feel like I have to try and be perfect for you guys, because I'm afraid if I'm not you guys might try to send me away again."
"Okay. First off, that is not going to happen. Mommy and I talked a lot while you were gone. Did you know that we talked about you every night?"
"About how I acted before I left, probably." Kayla said.
"Nope. About how much we missed you and wanted you back." Sam said, making Kayla smile. "But if you get in any trouble again, we'll deal with it just like we used to. Warning first, choice between me and Mommy, then me and Mommy decide."
"Okay." Kayla said.
"Feel better about that?"
Kayla nodded. "Yeah. I do."
"Good. Because my first Christmas present to you is a clean slate." Sam said.
"What do you mean?" Kayla asked.
"I mean no more drug tests. I'm choosing to trust you, and I'm pretty sure Mommy agrees with me." Sam said, and Jess nodded.
"You shouldn't do that. I haven't earned it yet." Kayla said.
"Let me and Mommy decide that." Sam said. "Now, that's not to say if you get in trouble that we're going easy on you. But from this point forward, clean slate."
"Thank you, Daddy." Kayla said, her eyes misting over.
"You're welcome, baby. One more thing." Sam took his hand and pointed to Kayla's heart. "I'm gonna tell you something. And I need you to not just hear me, but hear me in here. Okay?"
"What?"
Sam put everything he had into what he said next. "The best day of my life, next to marrying your mother, is the day I became a Daddy for the first time. You and your sister are the best part of your mother and me, and that will never change. Not ever. Do you hear me?"
"Yeah." Kayla said.
"What's wrong?" Sam asked.
"I hear you, but I don't feel it most of the time." Kayla said. "I'm sorry, but I just don't feel like I deserve it."
"Then I'll tell you as often as you need to hear it. And if you do need to hear it, tell me. Grab my hand and squeeze it, ask for a hug, whatever and whenever you need it. Same goes for your mother."
"That's right, baby." Jess said.
"You guys are the best." Kayla said.
"Hey, I've got an idea. Why don't we go wake up Mary instead of her waking us up this year?" Sam asked.
"I like that idea." Kayla said. "But I've already got my Christmas present."
"Oh, yeah? What's that?" Jess asked.
"I got you guys back."
Before Sam or Jess could respond to that, Mary was heard running down the hallway and appeared in the doorway like a bullet. She was practically vibrating with excitement.
"Come on, come on, come on! Santa came last night! Let's go!"
The Christmas was one of the best that Sam remembered. Kayla watched a movie with her parents as Mary napped, and ended up taking a nap herself later in the afternoon. After both girls had been put to bed that night, Sam saw someone standing under the streetlight in front of the house. He couldn't tell for sure, because she was only there for a second, but it looked like the older Kayla. She waved at him, smiled, and disappeared into the night.