Chapter 06 - You make me feel normal
Elsa sat locked in the stall of a toilet as she spent the morning reflecting on what had happened in the space of a day. Less than a day; it hadn't even been a full 24 hours.
Anna was like a drop of colour permeating every part of her monochrome life. It was impossible to wash that brightness away.
I need to tell her everything. She deserves the truth. Once I tell her we can both move on.
Fleeting images of the past haunted her. Elsa knew this had to happen but her mouth was dry and her hands covered in frost. How could she bring herself to tell Anna when she couldn't even face the truth alone?
...But not today. She sighed inwardly. Pull yourself together and get back out to her and give her at least one good day.
Employees were dotted around on laptops and phones. Some eating breakfast, others hard at work. It was Anna's first insight to working life. While at university she had gotten away with not having to take a job due to the Arendelles generous sponsorship. It made her realise just how dependent she was on her guardians. Elsa had been so strong stepping out into the world with no support, well aside from the pay off from a very expensive car. Even so, it couldn't have been easy. Did Elsa even go to university? Anna made a mental note to ask her later.
"Hey newbie, I didn't realise you worked here." The voice made Anna almost fall from her seat. "Anna of Snowman Studios."
Anna looked up from her phone to see Hans take a seat opposite her.
"Hans?" She asked in pleasant surprise. After being overwhelmed by seeing Elsa she had almost forgotten about the kind stranger with incredible sideburns who saved her from the speeding car yesterday.
"You escaped the meeting?" He said as he set a soda down for her. "Don't worry, it's on the company." He winked as he pushed it to her. Anna took it gratefully.
"Elsa and Olaf have it covered. I'm just doing some research." Anna tried to play it off casually but she was failing. Olaf's Awesome Adventure was open on her phone but she had yet to try it. She nervously opened her can while doing the only thing Anna knew what to do: throw more words at the situation. "So you work here too? I mean - of course you do. You wouldn't be here if you didn't. Security, duh." Anna slapped her head at her own stupidity.
"Yes, I work here." Hans let out a soft laugh at her rambling. "Well, actually I own here. Southern Isle Studios is my business. So when did Snowflake Studios employ you? You never mentioned you worked for them."
"Oh erm -" Anna hesitated and Hans gave her a knowing smile.
"You made up with your friend and she gave you a job." He assumed before she could ramble excuses.
Anna blinked. He was quick. Lying now seemed completely pointless, not that she ever excelled at it. "Actually that's pretty much it. Except I'm fairly certain she isn't paying me and I'm not working." Anna laughed nervously.
"If you're not working then you have time for a tour. Let me show you around the place. You never know, maybe you'll get a permanent position here one day."
Damn he was smooth. Anna was sure he meant it too. "I'm afraid I'm not doing the right degree for a computer based job, but thanks for the vote of confidence."
"What course are you taking?" He asked in curiosity, a small smile playing on his lips.
Anna looked down at the can of soda, fingers playing with the tab. "I never really excelled at much at school. The only thing I didn't completely flunk was biology so I just took it at university. I really wanted to move on and get away from... home." She had never considered the Arendelle's residence home but explaining that to Hans was opening a whole can of worms which she wanted to avoid. "I don't know what I want to do but I don't need to worry about that just yet. I'll just get through my course and work out my life afterwards."
"Biology, huh? That must be pretty intense. I always preferred chemistry myself. I actually got my masters in chemistry before starting up SIS."
"No way." Anna's eyes caught his. He was being serious. Wow. "That's a pretty big leap," She said while gazing into those green eyes. Something was hidden deep. Something guarded. A lot like Elsa.
"My father was always into computers so I wanted to get as far away from it as I could," a wry smile crossed his face. "When I said my life wasn't as complicated as yours I wasn't telling the truth. Father wasn't around much when I growing up. I resented him for it. But then again how can you blame a man who has to spread his time between 3 failed marriages and 13 children," He said with a laugh.
Anna gave him a look of pity. Beneath his casual persona she could see the bitterness. When she had met him yesterday she had barely scratched the surface. So many peoples' lives are so deep and complicated. I'm not the only one who carries so much.
"I spent more time with Weselton Pharmaceuticals than I did in Arendelle Corporation."
"Wait, Arendelle Corporation?" Anna asked dumbly.
"Yeah. My father co-founded the company. His name just isn't in the company name and he's not really the face of things. But he's a big player."
Wow. He is connected with Elsa's father. The world of high flying business is so small.
"I had a pretty good job lined up with Weselton but for some crazy reason I woke up one day and just set up my own business. I don't know what came over me," he was laughing again. "But I just went out and did it. And here we are, Southern Isle Studios." He gestured around him.
"That's so crazy. I couldn't imagine getting a real job, let alone setting up my own business." And both Elsa and Hans have done it. You really are so out of your depth, Anna.
"I was really lucky I had a lot of support. Father did help eventually but the Duke really gave me the support I needed. He gets really bad reputation from the media with how they portray him selling his medicines to hospitals for a big profit but its all propaganda. He's a good guy," Hans assured her.
Anna had caught the odd piece of news here and there about various disagreements regarding Weselton Pharmaceuticals and their obligation to provide life saving medicine to the health service, but it had been argued that a private company shouldn't be losing money when the government couldn't afford to pay a reasonable price. The politics of it went way over her head. She had no idea who was right or who was wrong, nor had she ever spent much time thinking about it until Hans had brought it up. Now she was absently wondering whether it was right for a private company to withhold vital medicine for monetary gain.
"I originally wasn't going to go into computer software but I was actually pretty good at it. I'm sure you'd be good at it too if you gave it a chance," he paused, flashing her that winning smile. "I could teach you -"
"- She's in capable hands, Mr Westergard," Elsa cut him cleanly off as she walked up to the table. Not missing a beat, she continued, "Thank you for looking after my guest so personally." Elsa turned to Anna, eyes fierce in a way she hadn't seen since school.
"Anna, I'm heading out for lunch, would -"
"- Yes," Anna replied before even being asked the question. "Lunch sounds perfect." She was already on her feet, phone in hand and bag over her shoulder. It wasn't that she was trying to escape Hans: she really enjoyed his company. She was just completely blinded by Elsa wanting to spend time with her.
"Thanks Hans. I'll take you up on that tour later."
He gave her a wink in return and mimicked a phone with his hand as they left.
Anna flashed him a smirk before looping her arm in Elsa's, not caring how stiff her friend became at the public display. Together they awkwardly marched off towards the elevator.
Elsa had been considering this for a week. Anna's family didn't earn much and she had heard from Anna during her daily lunchtime ramblings that the insurance company didn't pay out for water damage. More specifically lake damage in this case. So here Elsa stood with a brand new top of the range mobile phone in her hand. She had thought she was being kind, generous even, but when Anna's shocked expression turned to a mix of hurt and anger, she realised something was very wrong.
"I don't understand," Elsa said with a frown. Anna seemed to be exasperated and Elsa wished she could work out why.
"Elsa you can't spend that kind of money on me! I'd never be able to repay you!"
"I'm not asking you to repay me," Elsa replied as if it was obvious. She looked between the phone and Anna, still trying to work out why Anna was so hurt.
"You don't ask people to repay you. It's just socially expected of someone to 'return the favour'. It's a favour I can't return." Anna insisted.
Elsa considered this carefully for a good minute. "You broke me out of detention and you stopped my father finding out I punched a girl. I think this more than covers it." She adamantly thrust the phone to Anna.
"Am I like, the first friend you've ever had?" Anna asked with a sigh as she, with great reluctance, took the phone.
"Yes. Why?" Elsa asked, pleased she had finally accepted. She was worried for a minute there she would remain stubborn.
Anna blinked in surprise. "Wait, seriously? You didn't make any friends at your previous schools?"
Elsa took a deep breath. She was sheltered, she knew that. Admitting it to her new carefree friend however felt like weakness.
"I was home schooled. This is the first real school I've attended."
"Wait, seriously?" Anna was dumbstruck. "That must be so weird. No wonder you haven't made friends before - no wait I don't mean like that. I'm sure you have made friends -"
Elsa pressed her finger to Anna's pink lips. She was finding it to be the easiest way to halt her ramblings ...and her lips were so invitingly soft.
"You're the only person who has ever asked me. You're also the only person who has gotten me out of trouble by imitating my mother on the phone. So thank you. I know you think you need to give me something in return but you undervalue what you've already given me. Having someone to talk to who isn't my family is liberating. You make me feel normal." Elsa hadn't meant to express herself quite so much. She wasn't sure she had ever been so honest with her feelings before but the way Anna was glowing in surprised happiness made it worthwhile.
"Seen as I'm your only friend... and you're kind of my only friend..." Anna struggled to find the words. Elsa waited patiently as Anna fidgeted uncomfortably. She didn't understand how Anna's emotions were changing at the flick of a switch. Then again Elsa had never worn her heart on her sleeve like Anna. It was something she truly envied. "...That makes us best friends, right?"
Elsa was caught by surprise. That's what she was worried about?
"Yes, I suppose we are," Elsa nodded with a small smile.
The smile on Anna's face was worth it. It was worth everything.
She is worth everything. It was all Elsa could think as Anna marched them out of the office building. She'd be damned if she'd allow Hans to charm her.
"So... Where were we going again?" Anna asked, losing steam as looked up and down the street.
"There's a nice Japanese place just around the corner," Elsa said as she steered Anna in the right direction.
"Right. Japanese. Wait, that requires chopsticks?"
The thought of Anna using chopsticks amused Elsa more than it should have. It wasn't the reason why she had picked the restaurant but getting to see this made her all the more pleased she did pick it.
"You'll be fine. I'll teach you," She assured her, keeping her confident mask firmly in place. She couldn't allow Anna to see just how conflicted her heart was. Every conversation and action was dragging her back to a past she thought she had left behind.
Lunch with Anna... We used to do this every day at school. Albeit not in a fancy restaurant. Even so, it's so nostalgic.
Elsa took charge as they entered the small yet busy restaurant. She gave the waitress her reservation and was promptly shown to a table. Elsa relaxed into the chair as the smell of freshly cooked food filled her lungs. Asian food was truly her favourite, especially Japanese.
"Erm, Elsa," Anna peeked over the menu to address her. "What do I order?"
Elsa let out a small laugh. She knew she was being mean. Anna was an adventurous soul but when it came to food she knew what she liked and stuck with it. Even after four years she was still more likely to pick an ice cream or doughnut than a have a proper dinner. At least Elsa assumed she hadn't changed.
"We'll get a selection and share," Elsa said. At her words Anna visibly relaxed.
"Good. I have no idea what half of this is," she confessed quietly, like saying that too loud would cause her to be judged by the other patrons.
Elsa smiled. Being here, pretending to be normal with Anna, it felt better than she could have ever imagined. And it was something she had imagined a lot. If life was different... If I could have this every day... Her mind flew with imagination.
"Elsa?" Anna waved her hand in front of Elsa's face. Elsa glanced up to see the waitress. Immediately she stiffened and read off a number of dishes off the menu. It wasn't a difficult choice. She had known Anna well enough in the past to know her likes and dislikes. She was certain she hadn't changed that much.
"I wish you'd tell me what you're thinking when you blank out like that," Anna murmured after the waitress left them.
If only you knew. Elsa closed her eyes for a moment. She wished this would last forever.
"So, Hans. You were pretty friendly," Elsa came up with the only small talk she could think of. And instantly regretted it.
"Yeah, I met him yesterday. He saved me from being run over," Anna said bashfully. "He gave me loads of advice about the city and then dropped me to yours. I can't believe he is your boss -"
"- He isn't my boss. It's a partnership," Elsa corrected her more sharply than she had intended. So it was Hans who she was drinking with last night. The disapproval in her own head was unintentionally reflected on her stern expression.
"Right. Your 'partner'. Anyway he was really sweet. You're lucky to have a 'partner' like him."
Elsa wanted to throttle both herself for bringing Hans up and Anna for being so naive for believing him. She knew that the man had only entertained the partnership with her company after he had found out she was the daughter of Agnarr Arendelle. The whole situation was political; everything she was trying to escape. Yet Southern Isles Studios was her last resort and she'd be damned if she went to her father's company for support. After a long and heated, and equally freezing argument with Olaf she had accepted Hans' offer for the joint project. It had been going well too. All of her doubts had gone unfounded over the past year. But there was something about the man she still disliked. It wasn't something she could put her finger on but she just didn't trust him.
And here Anna was naively taking everything in world at face value, just like always. Elsa wanted to face-palm. Then again it was that innocence that drew her to the redhead. If she was a good judge of character she wouldn't be chasing you. Elsa gripped her glass until her knuckles went white.
Elsa blinked as the food was served, forgetting for a brief minute that they were sat in a restaurant.
"So how do I hold them?" Anna asked as she picked up her chopsticks.
Pushing thoughts of Hans from her mind, she swiftly turned her attention back to her gorgeous friend opposite and gave her instructions. It was hopeless. Anna had zero coordination. The piece of sushi she had attempted to pick up plummeted to the floor and rolled away.
"Hold still," Elsa said as she turned from her chair and walked around the table. She bent beside Anna and took her hand in hers. "Like this," She instructed as she held Anna's hand. With precision they picked up another piece of sushi. Delicately, Elsa guided Anna's chopsticks to Anna's mouth.
"Mmm, that's really good!" Anna said with her mouth full, her face melting into a look of delight at the taste.
Elsa smiled; pleased she'd made a good choice. She helped Anna pick up a second piece before returning to her seat.
"I think you've got the hang of it now."
"I really think I don't," Anna replied, stabbing at a piece with a single chopstick. "You know... we could get take out sometime. And you could give me more lessons... with those chopsticks," Anna was blushing as she spoke and Elsa didn't miss what she was implying. At least that what she assumed Anna meant. Perhaps it was her own mind imagining too much. Wishing for too much.
A heavy wave of guilt crushed any joy she felt from the comment.
"One step at a time," Elsa murmured. Anna's resigned expression crushed her a second time. Don't do this to her. Don't do this to yourself.
"So tonight, I was thinking I could cook. I've been practicing and -"
"- Not tonight," Elsa cut her off. "I have plans tonight."
"Plans?" Anna asked with an eyebrow raised.
"Yes plans. Plans which have been planned for a long time. Plans which I can't rearrange." Elsa didn't know why she didn't just tell Anna the truth but something about spending the night in talking to her therapist felt too intimate to share. She didn't want Anna to know she was struggling, even after four years. She couldn't burden her with that.
"I see..." The disappointment in Anna's statement made Elsa wince.
"Olaf is free to show you around the city -"
"- It's fine, really, Elsa. I can entertain myself for an evening," Anna said stubbornly before continuing to eat her sushi without grace.
Elsa sighed inwardly as she watched as Anna tried her best to look dignified. She was anything but that. Even so, Elsa couldn't help but fall in love with her all over again. Everything from the way she talked too much, to the way she held those chopsticks, to the way she lit up the room with that smile.
You're screwed Elsa. So screwed.