Hahaha! I'm soo sorry! Me and my friend typed out this fanfic during a sleepover. Lol!
I do not onw ANY of the characters! And prepair for major grammatical and spelling errors in this Black Butler parody!
Enjoy~~!
I hum to myself quietly as I walk down the long hall to give my lord his tea. 'Fucking brat.' I think to myself with a small sigh. I continue to walk down, when I start to hear what sounds like my lord having a conversation with someone. I start to run to his need, as I was unsure whether he was becoming insane, or we simply had an intruder. When I reached my lord's door, I calmed down, and knocked gently. "Come in bitch!" my eye twitched slightly as I walked in. that was when I realized… I fucked up. Maybe I should have torn the contract, and just did away with myself, because as I walked in to his room, noticing a draft coming in from an open window, a red headed bastard with shark teeth argued with Ciel about my existence and whereabouts. "OOOOoooOoh Sebbie!" Grell screeched as he fumbled over to me, practically tripping over his feet to get closer. I turned to try to run away, but Grell grabbed my ass while saying, "Honk honk Sebastian~" I then turned and drop kicked the bastard as hard as I could. "Oohhh" Grell moaned. Maybe I should have just stabbed his ass with a silver fork, and rescued my lord from this ridiculous mess. Ciel looked over to me, a glare that pierced through my demon soul and scared the living shit out of me. "Oh don't worry Sebbie we were just talking about the size of your cock. He said you had a micro penis, BUT I DON'T CARE" Grell seductively moaned. Making me let out a shiver of disgust. "Well I'm sorry to say but, I have a double monster dick that will very much kill you. If I penetrated you hard enough." I said with a blank, emotionless face. Ciel started walking out of the room in a fury, slamming the door behind him. I realized this was for the best, as Grell started taking his glasses off. "I will slash your penei with my silver butter knife and let you bleed to death, you grotesque little shit. They call me the dick slasher for a reason" I said with confidence in a sultry stance. Grell let out a screech as he suddenly lunged at me with his chainsaw. "I am going to get you this time Sebbie!" Suddenly, as soon as Grell started his chainsaw, the door flung open, and there was Tanaka, with a cup of tea, sipping casually. Grell looked over in confusion, and stopped the chainsaw. Tanaka, looking like a dumpling, and glancing over at the scene, suddenly obtained a serious look, and instead of saying " oh ho ho", pulled out a monicle and peered at both me and Grell. "What the hell are you two floppy dildos doing?" he asked with a glare. "He started it..." I said with a pout as I pointed towards Grell. "I started it!? Oh Bassie, we all know you started it!" Grell screaches loudly. "Listen, boys, we aren't in kindergarten anymore, so put on your big boy panties and stop fighting" Tanaka ordered as he started to pull his pants down. "RREEEEEEEE" Grell and I simultaniously screetched in discust. "Who's your daddy~?" Tanaka asks with a perverted grin. Me and Grell automatically run out of the room, only to run into, Baldroy. Smoking a cigarette, he suddenly dropped out of his mouth as he saw us running towards him. Baldroy started running from Grell and I, and started cussing about us. " Why are you two bloody assholes chasing me!? That was a perfectly good cigarette. AAAAHHHH….HHHHHHH?" Baldroy stopped and looked back for a second, when Grell and I ran straight past him. Baldroy looked in relief, but questioned. "God, must have been that perverted old man again." Baldroy says with a deep irritated sigh. "Sebbie! I'm scared! REEEE!" Grell screeched as he ran. I glared back at him as I blindly ran. Not noticing May Rin. "GGYYYAAAAA~!" May Rin cryed as we ran into her. "Oh, why I'm so terribly sorry May Rin." I say in an apolegetic tone. She blushes madly, looking up to me. "Y-ya know, I, I wanted to ask you s-something…" May Rin asked nervously. "I've got no time for your bullshit May Rin, I have more important things to do right now!" I yelled. As I run, I could hear a screetch in the distance, that sounded like May Rin frusterated over something. We continued to run, when I figured out Tanaka stopped chasing us. I saw a tiny old man in the distance, Tanaka, trying to run in his boxers, with his pants at his ankles, continually tripping and falling, his tea spilling. Thank god he was back to being a fluffy dumpling. I thought to myself with a deep sigh of relief. That is until Tanaka noticed me and Grell, and turned from the little dumpling of a man, to full on colosas titan mode. We could hear an earshattering screetch of a giant Tanaka going "HA HA", and crushing the roof of the ceiling as we continued to run. " Ow" Tanaka murmered, as the wood and construction of the mansion started to crumble. "Hmmm, I bet he has a giant magnum dong!" Grell pondered, and started to turn back to Tanaka, however, I kept running. "Oohh~ he does have a giant magnum dong~!" Grell screeched with a grin. "Just shut up and run!" I yelled with a glare. "Oh! Hey sebastian- KYAAAH!" I heard as I ran into, yet another small person. "Owie!" Finny cried as he held his head in his hands. "I am sorry Finny. I didn't see you there." After running into that smol child, I realized I had entirely forgotton about Ciel! That is when I realized I needed to save him and get out of the mansion, but he was at the other side of the hall… behind Tanaka. Ditching Grell, I started running towards Tanaka, and his veiny… arms. And cock. I figured out a plan: first. I'd run towards him and run underneath his legs. I shuddered at the thought of running under a giant pair of balls. Then I would escape out the other end and save my lord. Thinking it over, I then acted upon my plan. Running underneath Tanaka, I ditched Grell. Who didn't even notice. I let out a sigh of relief as Tanaka ran past after Grell. Now I have to save my lord! "My Lord!" yelled. Ciel saw me, but when I looked back, Grell realized where I was and starting running my way. "No! Grell, stop!" I screeched. Grell, in a dreamy dazed state, continued to prance towards me and Ciel, Tanaka running after Grell. "Sebastion, you demon ass shit ass need to take care of my every needs and and GET ME OUT OF HERE. " Ciel whined, and weakly punched and shoved me. "You know what you little piece of shit? I'm done with your ridiculousness. I am tearing the contract." I yelled. "W-what?" Ciel responded. As Ciel said this I yeeted him over to Tanaka. He was thrown about 5 ft in the air, and bounced… right off his dick. Ha! Got ey!
Then they all lived happily ever after…
Except for Ciel…
…. I have nothing to say about this….
Hope you enjoyed~!
Yaoilover56