Arceus floated down the halls of the Hall, before coming to a halt at the doorway which led to his study. He seemed to hesitate for a moment but hovered into the room. Arceus then pressed the power button and watched the screen flicker to life, and after a few minutes he had pulled up the story he was planning on reviewing. The equine-like Pokémon scanned it's contents, chuckled occasionally at what he was reading, but seemed apprehensive in general.

Mew, who was flying by while eating a chocolate bar, noticed this and decided to fly in the room.

"Hiya, Arcy! What's going on?" Arceus' eye twitched at the nickname.

"Well, I'm planning on writing more reviews, but I am afraid I have become a bit rusty." Mew seemed to perk up at that.

"Oh! I know! You can let me review with you! That way-"

"No." Mew crossed her arms and pouted.

"Aw... But why? I've done reviews before."

"Yes, but they were part of your punishment." Mew scoffed and turned her head.

"Fine. I have better things to do anyways."

"Like lounging around and gorging on chocolate?" Mew then flew out of the room.

"Cause you won't let me do much else..." she muttered. Her pinky, pointy ears then perked upwards as she had an epiphany. "But if he were to be occupied with a review..."

After having finished muttering to herself, Mew teleported out of the room in a flash of light.

Arceus, having feared that his skills had become too rusty, had left his study and reentered the Grand Hall, surprised to not find Mew. As he gazed back and forth, looking for the hyperactive legendary, he failed to notice a ball of light behind him until Mew spoke up, startling the Alpha Pokemon.

"Hiya, Arcy! I think I got someone who can help." Arceus turned around and his eyes nearly bulged out of his head at the sight of a robed human lying on the pristine floors, asleep and still clutching his pillow.

"M-Mew!?" Arceus then shook his head, muttering that 'he should have anticipated this'. The Pokemon then sighed heavily and looked up.

"Mew, could you please tell me who this human is, and why you brought him here?" Mew innocently grinned at his question, making Arceus grimace.

"That's Jack Storm. He's a trainer who helped Keldeo out in a review once so I figured he could help you out too." Before Arceus could respond the boy groaned.

"Who turned on the lights? Is it morning already?" he muttered.

"Perhaps you should open your eyes." Arceus commanded.

The boy's eyes opened fractionally, before abruptly opening the rest of the way; sheer astonishment written on his face.

"Good grief!" he exclaimed, rubbing his still sleepy eyes, "Not again!" Arceus' eyes narrowed at his exclamation.

"That's it? No amazement? No fear? No reverence? You are certainly a... amusing human." Arceus stated cynically, not noticing Mew flying out of the Hall to who knows where.

"Regardless, I believe I need your help."

"Hold on..." the boy said in confusion, looking at the legendary Pokémon for several seconds before exclaiming in realization, "You're Arceus! That means this is the Hall of Origins!"

"Origin." Arceus corrected inaudibly.

The boy's expression changed to one of acceptance, "Okay, so I can still be surprised. Now then, what was that about needing my help?"

"Well, like Keldeo I have taken up reviewing as a pastime. However, I required a break and I fear that my wit has become a bit rusty; so that's where you unexpectedly come in."

The boy ruffled his golden hair, "So, did Keldeo tell you about me then?" Arceus exhaled dismissively.

"I am Arceus. Whether or not Keldeo told me is inconsequential. Now, since we seem to be on the same page, I would appreciate it if you followed me." Arceus then turned and started to float away, leaving the robed boy to give chase. Arceus then turned a corner and entered his study, followed closely by Jack.

"So..." Jack started, easily keeping up with the floating Alpha Pokémon as the two entered his study, "I'm just going to take a wild guess here; does this involve reviewing a fanfic with you?"

"You are certainly acute. I believe I have chosen a rather interesting one. So, take a seat," as Arceus said that a chair appeared behind Jack, who was too shocked by the furniture suddenly appearing to say anything. "And let the review begin."

Arceus the Critic

"Ash and Misty of Team Rocket" by BigD1987

Ash and Misty of Team Rocket

By: BigD1987

Flash fiction one-shot: Team Magma's newest weapon is ready to be shipped out. That changes when Team Rocket's new strike team interrupts. A "What-if" look at what could happen if Ash and Misty joined a now-good Team Rocket.

Yes folks, your eyes are not deceiving you. To be honest, I'm not exactly sure what to make of this story. The premise is probably one of the most original I've seen; Ash and Misty becoming members of a good Team Rocket oddly enough run by three of the most crooked and incompetent people in the anime. Hint, hint.

So how is it executed? Well, why don't we take a gander?

So we start off the story with Team Magma loading the evaporating machine from Batman Begins into a transport... so they can smuggle it into Kanto?

(Arceus blinked a few times in confusion.)

Why would they smuggle it into Kanto? Team Magma has no bases there and Team Rocket is supposed to be good in this story. Regardless, the grunts don't move fast enough to satisfy Richie, and he starts fretting over the success of the operation.

But Boss Richie scowled while his grunts seemed to go slower. What part of 'hurry up' don't they understand!? For all they knew, the cops could be hear at any minute! Or worse, Team Aqua. Or worse, someone else.

This author has the dramatic subtly of Keldeo when it comes to foreshadowing, and none of the comedic effect.

Looking up at the ceiling of the long-extinct volcano they were in, he issued a silent challenge to anyone who tried to stop them. Without warning, the ceiling exploded. Grunts ran from the falling debris, which damaged a few pieces of equipment, but not the weapon. That was a relief! But Richie was furious. "What's going on!?" he shouted.

"Prepare for trouble!" A female voice shouted,

"And make it double!" A male voice replied.

"Well, that was abrupt." Jack commented.

"This is only the beginning. It gets even more over the top after this." Arceus replied.

A platform lowered down from the hole in the ceiling. Two figures and a shorter one stood on the platform. He could not tell who they were, because they were obscured by dry ice smoke.

(Arceus rolled his eyes.)

A mystery now, is it? Oh, I bet we'll never guess who it is... especially since you never gave us any hints with the title.

"To protect the world from devastation!" the female voice declared.

"To unite all peoples within our nation!"

"To denounce the evils of hate and lies!"

"To extend our reach to beyond the skies!"

(Monty Python Army: Get on with it!)

The dry ice smoke dissipated to reveal the two figures. They were teenagers, one with fiery red hair and green eyes, and the other with black, spiky hair that was covered by a red ballcap. And both wore white Team Rocket uniforms. Richie growled, recognizing the two instantly. They posed, holding hands and smiling like giddy two-year-olds.

"Misty!"

"Ash!"

(Ben Stein: Bueller... Bueller... Bueller...)

"Team Rocket, defending all that is good and right!"

"Surrender now, or you'll surely lose the fight!"

"Piii-KA-CHU!"

"It looks like our heroes have finally arrived, and sure enough, it's Team Rocket lead by Ash Ketchum and... Hold on; I know Ash, but I've never met anyone named Misty."

"Let's just say the series is better off without her." Arceus quickly shut his eyes, as if anticipating someone to hit him with a mallet.

"Well, I for one am certainly not going to argue with you; let's plunge ahead." Arceus nodded.

"A wise choice on both."

Ash Ketchum and Misty Waterflower, once sworn enemies of Team Rocket, were enthusiastic members of the new-and-improved "good guy" Team Rocket. "What's Team Rocket doing here!?" Richie called out.

"What do you think?" Misty shot back with a matter-of-factly tone on her voice, "Putting an end to this!"

"Cops couldn't come, so Team Rocket's here to do the job!" Ash said.

When are the police ever present in Pokémon?

"Damn those Jessie and James," Richie growled, "Why did they have to kick Giovanni out and turn into goody-twoshoes? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, IDIOTS!? GET THEM!"

"So, let me get this straight; Jessie and James kick their boss out of office, take over all of Team Rocket, and turn it into a crime-fighting agency? Farfetch'd anyone?" Jack said, putting his hand to his chin.

"Oh nevermind that, because we have Ash ordering Snorlax to crush the conveyor belt... rather than fight Team Magma?"

(Masamune: Imbecile!)

Jack was confused by the audio clip for a moment but pushed it aside. "I guess he figured that if the grunts got the laser to the plane, they might make a break for it. Besides, it doesn't look like he needed Snorlax's help anyway; it seems Team Magma are even bigger pushovers than Team Rocket!"

A Magma grunt ran up behind him, waving a metal pipe around. Ash heard him coming and kicked him right in the stomach.

(Arceus blinked a few times in disbelief.)

What!? Has Ash been taking Rex Kwon Do? When has Ash ever physically fought someone!? For that matter; when has Team Rocket ever physically assaulted someone?

He elbowed the Magma grunt in the face to finish him off, for good measure.

(Arceus rolled his eyes.)

Because you can never be unconscious enough.

"Perfect!" Misty replied, giving the thumbs-up. She grabbed another PokeBall from her belt. "Corsola, go!"

"Corsola!" the Water/Rock type cried as it emerged.

"Corsola, use Ancient Power on that transport plane!" she said.

"Corsola!" Corsola unleashed its attack on the plane. The rocks did heavy damage to the transport's engines, wings and landing gear. It caused so much damage the transport was beyond repair.

The Pokémon are doing more damage to heavy machinery in this story than they do to each other on a regular basis in the Anime.

Richie roared in anger. "DAMN YOU, TEAM ROCKET!" he screamed, running straight for Ash.

(Kyurem: Pointless swearing! Hooray!)

Misty heard him and ran to intercept him. He was almost on top of Ash when Misty punched him right in the gut—HARD.

"Don't touch my sweetie!" she shouted.

"Darn right, my fighting moves are sweet!" Ash replied. Misty sighed in relief, thanking his denseness.

"I must say, Ash seems to be enjoying knocking people out a little too much; I wouldn't go so far as to say it's OOC, but it still doesn't seem quite right." Jack commented.

"You're reading into it a bit to much. After all; who needs character when we having a pairing to force down your throat?"

"Hear hear; but for the record, I just want to point out that they're both ten years old. Although, I always thought that Ash did in fact go back to Kanto when he grew up, and married Misty. Of course, that won't be happening any time soon- Wait, what was that line?"

"Darn right, my fighting moves are sweet!" Ash replied. Misty sighed in relief, thanking his denseness.

Jack winced. "Okay, I just have to come out and say it; the fourth gen is my personal favorite out of all the generations. And one of the main reasons, is that Ash matures by at least five years." Arceus nodded.

"Agreed. But then we get a blast from the past with Unova, regarding Ash at least."

"FOCUS!" she screamed, ducking as Pelipper zoomed over her.

Well that came out of left field. It probably would have made more sense to just say this:

(Frank Costanza: SERENITY NOW!)

"You Rocket idiots have been on the decline since you kicked Giovanni out," Richie spat.

How are they on the decline? They just single handedly knocked out most of your team!

In the chaos, Pikachu and Pelipper had zapped the Magma grunts into submission. Pelipper landed close by and Pikachu hopped onto his head. "Pi-KA!" he said, giving Ash a "V" for "Victory" sign.

Jack raised his eyebrow in curiosity. "I thought that was Victini's thing."

(Arceus shook his head.)

"Given how overpowered everyone is in this story, I wouldn't be surprised if that was Victini in a Pikachu costume. Regardless Richie surrenders and Ash and Misty contact their bosses."

Ash and Misty stood at attention, saluted and put their arms down. "The Team Magma base is out of commission, Boss Jessie!" Ash said enthusiastically.

"Great work, Twerps!" Boss Jessie replied. Ash and Misty laughed sheepishly.

"I'm so proud of them!" James said, wiping his tears away, "Who knew turning goody-two-shoes would make them join?"

"Um, is there anything else you want us to do, Boss?" Misty asked. "Doesn't he remember we've been members for while now?"

"No, just return to b ase," Jessie replied, "And take the rest of the week off, you've earned it."

"Thank you, MA'AM!" Ash replied with a salute, followed by Misty.

(Arceus rolled his eyes.)

"Yes folks; The three stooges of Team Rocket, the ones who constantly bungle every attempt to steal a Pokémon and fantasize about giving it to their boss, were somehow competent enough to overthrow him and take over Team Rocket. And not only that, but by getting rid of Giovanni apparently everyone else in the team magically turned good as well." The robed boy nodded.

"I would bring up the fact that they stole Ash's maturity in Unova, but this is obviously based back in Hoenn. As it is, that story sounds about as legitimate as Pokemon tears bringing people back from the dead. In fact, I'm pretty sure that clinches it; this whole scenario is fun and all, but if the author wants to pull it off, he needs a rock solid basis. Jessie James and Meowth deposing Giovanni, and taking over all of Team Rocket single-handedly, is about as far-fetched as you can get."

"Well, all they need to do now is throw in some more Pokeshipping via Jessie and James and it will be the ultimate insult. But I'm sure that not even this author would be foolish en-"

"And take your time, I know you two LOVEBIRDS want all the privacy in the world!" Jessie, James and Meowth laughed their heads off while Ash and Misty blushed a deep red.

"WE'RE NOT LOVEBIRDS!" they both screamed. But the hologram had vanished, making their pleas all for naught. Thanks to that comment from Jessie, the rest of flight back to base was filled with awkward silence.

(Arceus lowered his head in a strange mixture of anger and disappointment.)

Jack facepalmed. "Thank goodness this is only a one-shot; like I said before, it's a fun idea to toy around with, but the author definitely needs to revise it a little."

"Apparently he did just that, and this story is only a "preview", for lack of a better term, for a larger story based around this outlandish plot. Whether or not it is better remains to be seen, but I doubt I will be taking a gander any time soon after reading this." Jack then looked up to Arceus, who despite sitting down, towered over him.

"No kidding. Anyway, that's the end of the fanfic; so, what's your judgment on it?"

"What is my Judgement on it?" Arceus mused. "It's unbelievably cheesy, has action scenes more over the top than anything the Kalos Anime can serve up, and is fun to laugh at. Besides that, I would not necessarily say this is an awful story, just too overdone. The premise is intriguing, and were the story handled better I'm certain it would be entertaining. Do you have anything to add, human?" Jack shook his head.

"That pretty well sums it all up; overall, it's not a bad story. But it'll take some tinkering before it becomes a good story."

Arceus then turned to face Jack, a rather morose expression on his face. "So with that resolved, I ought to thank you, human. However, Mew brought you to this place without my permission and I'm afraid I can't return you without erasing your memory." Jack reeled back at the Alpha Pokémon's declaration.

"Is that really necessary? I mean, I've already met Keldeo; not to mention Dialga from another reality. And for the record, I consider myself more Pokémon than human."

Arceus narrowed his eyes ever so slightly. "This is one of the most sacred places on this planet. Whether or not you are human or Pokémon matters little; only those I have permitted may tread here. Now, close your eyes."

Jack sighed, but acquiesced. Fighting against a Pokémon that had the strength of a deity was not on his bucket list. "Fine; I guess Keldeo's show was a novel enough experience for one lifetime anyway."

After the boy closed his eyes, Arceus hovered a large vase over his head telepathically, before thrusting it down and shattering it on his head. Jack fell down and hit the floor, clearly unconscious.

"That ought to cause some memory loss. And a rather nasty bruise." Mew, who had just returned from who knows where, sped into the room when she heard glass shatter. When she saw Arceus hovering over the boy, who was sprawled out on the floor with glass shards around him, she jumped to the worst possible conclusion.

"Ar-Arceus... Did you-"

"No Mew, he is merely unconscious." Though that eased the pink Pokémon's concerns a bit, she was still mortified and curious at what occurred.

"Then why did you-"

"I have many talents, Mew. Erasing someone's memory is not one of them. Now, please take this poor human back to his camp." Mew nodded, but before she could teleport away Arceus interjected.

"And the next time you bring a mortal here without my permission; I will have your head." Mew gulped and then vanished with the boy in a flash of light.

The End

Credits:

Gods And Mortals by ARCEUS-master

Keldeo the Critic- Season Three

Batman Begins

Keldeo the Critic- Season Two

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Pokémon Conquest

Napoleon Dynamite

Kyurem the Critic

Seinfeld: The Serenity Now

Nostalgia Critic: Food Fight

Special Thanks:

Jack Storm 448

Note from the Author:

Yep, Arceus is back. I wanted to do something special for my two year anniversary of being on Fanfiction, so I figured he would make an early comeback. To keep up the celebrations, I'll be posting a new chapter every day, for the next six days as well.