Greetings. Do you remember back at the end of Season One when I said I try to avoid romance? Well... I had an epiphany. Romance, when done well, is extremely hard to review due to the fact it would be cruel to leave cynical comments when most readers can sympathize and even enjoy or appreciate a loving moment between two characters. On the other hand; Bad Romance is a gold mine.

(Arceus, despite having no mouth, smiled sardonically.)

So, ladies and gentlemen, I give you; The prank.

(Arceus' demeanor quickly changed as he blinked a few times and then gulped nervously.)

Please tell me this isn't the sequel to The Secret.

Arceus the Critic

"The prank" by FunSizePikachu

The prank

By: FunSizePikachu

May and Ash confess their feelings by a prank. One-shot advaceshipping

(Arceus let out a sigh of relief.)

Oh thank goodness it's not ForkOnTheLeft. I don't think I could bear another story as inane as that one.

Ash was staying at the maples house after he arrived from Sinnoh and came to visit may. He was at the living room with may they were both sitting on the couch watching tv. Ash watched may with amusement as she was struggling on finding something good to watch, when she didn't find anything she ended with a huff and pout as she tossed the remote onto the coffee table. This caused ash to chuckle at her, she huffed more and blew up her bangs. Pikachu who was sleeping in ash's lap woke up slowly and yawned,he then looked at may curiously. Ash just laughed at her and her antics, this annoyed may a lot.

Why is May never capitalized? And what is up with this line!?

Ash just laughed at her and her antics

I don't know whether the author was writing and saw a squirrel or meant to put something else in place of her, but, frankly, I am at a loss for what that sentence is supposed to be.

"What are you laughing at Ketchum!?" May asked the boy annoyed.

(Arceus reeled back.)

Has May turned into Iris?

Ash stopped and looked at the annoyed girl with a smirk "nothing" ash responded, he looked down at pikachu and petted him which he received a coo from the pokemon.

(Chatot: The Guildmaster's writing is such a messy scrawl... This is so hard to decipher...)

"Hmph" she responded to the trainer and got up from the couch she then turns to him. "I'm going to the store to get snacks wanna come?"

Apparently the author gave May a split personality, since she goes from berating Ash to asking him if he wants to go to the store.

May: Hey, Ash. I need to get some groceries, could you help out?

Other May: Please, you're just asking him that 'cause you want a contrived method to confess your barely concealed feelings for him.

May: S-Shut up!

Other May: Make me.

(May then punched herself across the face, only to do it again before she threw herself to the floor while shouting at herself. Ash just quietly ran out of the room.)

"Nah ima stay here and relax" he replied as he rested on the couch lazily.

(Arceus growled lowly.)

The author is even more lazy and incompetent than Ash, considering she couldn't even bother to insert punctuation!

May facepalmed her self at the trainers antics "fine...what about you pikachu? Wanna come?"

"Chu-pi!" The little mouse cheered and jumped onto her shoulder, this caused may to smile and scratch his chin.

Usually I would pan the author for having Pikachu willing part with Ash, but right now he's so out of character that I frankly don't care.

"Chaaaa..." May giggled at the Pokemon.

Ash looked at them with one eye opened and closed it again and chuckled.

"What?"

"Nothing"

"Ugh! You never give a me a straight answer ash!"

"I know" he smirked at her again with eyes closed. May just rolled her eyes.

Can any of you seeing a normal Ash have dialogue like this? I can't even see him watching television for more than five minutes. Next thing you know, this author is going to turn him into a maid and-

(Arceus hung his head and sighed.)

"Anyways while I'm gone with pikachu can you clean up a bit?"

"Yeah sure"

"Okay thanks! Oh do you want anything?"

Just a way to get out of this.

"A chocolate bar seems nice right now"

"K I'll be back" she said while putting on her shoes. She then headed to the door.

"Cya ash!" "Pikapi!" The duo said to him and walked out the door. Ash looked out the living room window, watching them disappear into the distance. When they were gone ash sighed and started cleaning up the house.

(Arceus stared blankly at the screen, a not-so-subtle horror plastered across his face.)

Was this story originally a text? Why are- oh, what's the use...

"Hmm everything looks clean...maybe i should clean May's room"

(Arceus' right eye is twitching uncontrollably as he is doing everything in his barely-controlled power to not decimate the story.)

Ash walked up the stairs into the brunette's room. He opened the door to reveal a brightly lit room with light pink walls a raised bed with plushies on them. To the other side was her desk with a laptop and pictures on the wall above it. Her wardrobe had her ribbons in frames along with more pictures. He walked in enjoying the scent of her room as he did something caught his eye on her bed. Ash walked to the bed were the object was, when he got close enough his smile widen at what he saw. On the bed was a book that said 'May's Diary DO NOT TOUCH!'

(Arceus snarled in a barely controlled fit of anger.)

Can you possibly be more obvious!? The only thing that would top this in the 'disregard the obvious warning' category, would be if you had a big red button with the words 'do not press' labeled on it!

He chuckled when he read the cover. "So may..." He scanned the book, it was bright red with white polka dots on it, it looked new. This made ash curious on what may was writing in it. "Hmm one page wouldn't hurt" he said to himself letting the curiosity get the best of him. He opened the book to find beautiful handwriting in neat paragraphs.

So we go through a short entry detailing Ash to an uncapitalized T, even getting the part where he is too dense to notice any overtures to him, including the one he's reading (which he naturally assumes is referring to someone else), until we get to a- well... I don't want to spoil how stupid this is. Just read it for yourselves.

ash was a bit sadden that may thought of herself like that. "She is the most beautiful girl I know..who ever this guy is I'm going to hurt him if he hurts her" he looked down at her diary curious on what she wrote next. He turned the page to reveal something odd. In large black letters said You just got trolled! Whoever read this look behind you!.

(Arceus' right eye starts to twitch uncontrollably again, which follows by a spasm of his entire head. The Alpha Pokémon then starts chuckling darkly before the entire Hall begins to shake. His eyes then flash momentarily and Arceus, despite having no nose or mouth, takes a very deep breath. He then takes a few more for good measure and closes his eyes. He then begins to speak again, only for the line to play again, much to his horror.)

Is... Is this a punishment for my iniquities?

(As if answering yes, the line played again. Arceus screamed in pure anguish in response.)

FINE! FINE, I'll CONFESS! Just make it stop!

I was the one who removed the dialogue and character development from Pokémon Conquest!

I was the one who gave Korrina the voice of Amy Rose!

I was the one who got rid of the competent Ash and made Pikachu lose to a Snivy!

I was the one who took out the Post-Games of Black & White and X & Y!

I was the one who designed the Gates to Infinity characters!

I was the one who removed all pre-Gen V Pokémon from Black and White!

I was the one who created the Over Powered Dragons and the even more Over Powered Fairy Type!

I was the one who convinced Cartoon Network to cut out a third of Kyurem vs. The Sword of Justice!

I was the one who said making a Mewtwo Girl would be a good idea!

I was the one who created the Plot Hole that sucked up Keldeo!

I even knew that Damos was innocent all along!

I'm a sick sadist who relishes abusing his power and playing God! PLEASE JUST MAKE IT STOP!

(Finally, to Arceus' relief, that one passage that had been playing over and over again while he confessed/had a mental breakdown finally ended. Arceus let out a sigh of relief, while Mew, who had been hiding behind a wall and was holding a tape recorder, flew off giggling like a madmon.)

Ash looked behind him. His eyes widened to see may at the doorway with a smirk on her face looking back at him her hands were on her hips and she was tapping her foot on the soft carpet. Pikachu was on her shoulder smiling deviously at him.

"Umm h-hi may how did you get back so soon?" Ash said hiding the book behind his back. His face was burning by the second. May on the other hand looked amused at the boys behavior.

"Me and pikachu came back, because I forgot my money in my room" she looked around and stared at him again the smirk never leaving her face. "Do you really think I would leave my diary at open view for someone to read?"

"Diary? W-what diary?"

Subtly? What Subtly?

"Cut the act ash I know you were reading it, I was actually hoping you would"

Ash caught red-handed he sighed. "Why?"

"It was a prank it seems you fell for it. I also learned that I'm the most prettiest girl you know!"

How was that a prank!? All you did was leave out a diary and beg for someone to open it. A prank actually has to be clever, and cause some form of misery.

(Arceus suddenly shuddered as he started to recall a memory.)

"Arcy!" Mew shouted as she flew into the hall, where Arceus was reading an old book. Arceus looked up from the worn out tome, to see Mew floating over to him. "I got your bath running, just how you specified."

"Thank you, Mew." Arceus started, his face (or lack thereof) brightening. "This ought to help my tired muscles. To be honest, I still can't believe you had it in you to do something like this for me." Arceus then got up from his resting position and hovered out of the room, not noticing Mew giggling like a giddy child whilst holding up a bottle of pink dye.

That was not even the tip of the iceberg.

Arceus was resting atop of Infinite Tower, gazing over the peaceful paradise that he had made. Mew on the other hand, was floating behind him erratically, bored out of her mind.

"Peace is soooo boring! Maybe I can shake things up a bit..."

Mew then floated away from the tower, somehow avoiding Arceus' detection, and descended into Dragnor. Utilizing her Psychic powers, she cloaked herself from the presence of the humans around her, before she noticed the young warlord in the town square. A devious thought began to form in her head, and she used her powers to project the illusion of an elderly monk near him.

"My lord." Mew had the vision say. The warlord stopped and turned to face the believable façade.

"There is an old legend: A Pokémon of great power resides within that tower," she then had the illusion point to the gateless Infinite Tower. "And if you unite the region it will appear." To add credence to the fabrication, she dissipated the illusion right as a passerby walked in front of it, leaving a flabbergasted and fascinated warlord behind. Said man ran off to his castle, while Mew only laughed manically.

"I can't wait to see the look on Arcy's face when he learns about the "legend". He'll probably go along with it just to save face."

And then there was the worst;

Arceus' sleep-deprived eyes darted neurotically from one wall, to another, then to the door.

"She can't prank me in here! Every year she pulls a prank on this accursed day, but not this year! Not even Mew would be stupid enough to enter my chambers and I'll stay up all night if I have to make sure of that!"

The horror...

(Arceus then shook his head.)

Regardless, those were pranks. Leaving a book open for someone to read so you can confess your feelings in the most cliché manner possible is not one of them.

Oh you heard that?" He asked blushing deep red.

"Mhmm...so umm is that true?" She asked blushing.

Ash was surprised at her question "u-uhh umm...*sigh* yeah...may you are the most beautiful girl I've ever known and I've been keeping this secret from you for far to long fearing rejection. May?"

"Yeah ash?" She said with happiness in her voice.

"I liked you ever since we first met I just never told you. Its okay if you don't feel the same"

"Ash the boy I was talking about in the diary...its you" she finally said to him.

(Arceus rolled his eyes.)

Come now, Fox and Krystal's relationship is more believable than this. Heck; Hideyoshi is probably more genuine with his relationships than this.

Ash looked at her in disbelief. "It was me?"

(Arceus rolled his eyes.)

No, the King of Pokelantis... YES YOU! This and most of the following lines of dialogue are more irrelevant than a Rube Goldberg machine, so I'll just skip to the finishing cliché.

"Ash? "

"Yeah may?"

"I love you"

"I love you to" He said and lifted her head making her star at him he then connected his lips with hers and sealed their relationship with a kiss.

And with that, this horrific story is through. This is... ugh. It's worse than Three N Times Life, It's worse than Vegeta at Jubilife, It's worse than Too Much H2O, It's worse than The Secret and Genesect's wii u! I could have rewritten the entire story like this:

Once upon a clichéd time, there was a boy named Ash and a girl named May. One day May told Ash she loved him, they kissed and lived happily ever after. Oh, and Pikachu was there too.

And it still would have been better since it actually uses punctuation and capitalization! In fact, if I eviscerated this story it still would be the same!

(Arceus let out a deep, near feral, growl.)

And then there's this abomination:

In large black letters said You just got trolled! Whoever read this look behind you!.

(Arceus exhaled in a stupefied manner, while his eye began to twitch uncontrollably again.)

I- That is simply the most idiotic line I have ever read. I would be hard pressed to find something to top this. After reading this, I think I need a break from reviewing for a while, for the sake of my sanity, and yours. Farewell.

The End

Credits:

Up

Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky

Gods and Mortals by ARCEUS-master

Nostalgia Critic - Food Fight

Pokémon Conquest

Star Fox

Keldeo the Critic- Season One

Keldeo the Critic- Season Two

The Angry Bug Show

Note from the Author:

Well, I'll be taking a short break from reviewing now. While I did want Arceus to make an early comeback for my two year anniversary of being here, I also do have other stories. But if I managed to churn out seven chapters in one month (a personal record), I should be able to come back relatively soon.

Anyways, this was originally supposed to be about six hundred words longer, with an entire skit at the end about how Arceus had a mental breakdown from reading this and nearly destroyed the fabric of reality, only to be saved by Mew, Palkia and Dialga, but I decided that would be going over the top too much. If you guys want to see it, I could post it as an extra sometime down the road.

As for Arceus' other breakdown scene, he didn't do all or any of that, I just think he was getting increasingly desperate. But while I was writing that, I realized something: Gen V stunk.

In the meantime till Arceus returns, if you want to read something else involving Arceus, I would highly recommend Nine in the Afternoon by Glory For Sleep and Gods and Mortals by ARCEUS-master. Those two have to be not only the best stories involving Arceus I have read, but some of the best on this site.