"Arcy! Arcy!" Mew's high-pitched telepathic voice bounced off the pristine walls as she looked around for the owner of the nickname. It seemed to be unnecessary though, being as she was too busy looking from room to room to look straight ahead. After colliding with what would equate as Arceus' sternum, she was telepathically picked back up by said pseudo-deity who had the equivalent of a raised eyebrow plastered on his face.

"Yes?"

"There's something strange in the grand hall!"

"Hmm?" Arceus already suspected what it was, but still followed Mew as he tugged on his golden hoof. She led him into the room and pointed at a large wall that was standing in the middle of it, which stuck out like a sore thumb due to the fact it was brick and surrounded by marble.

"What's that doing there?"

"Oh, that would be the fourth wall." Mew looked at him, dazed, and clearly wanting a better explanation.

"Well, since we broke it so much in the previous chapters, it sued. And now we have to give it a cameo."

"Huh..." Mew started. "Of all the things I thought we'd get sued over, that had to be the second to last thing."

"What was the last choice?" Mew offered up a cheeky grin in response.

"You don't wanna know. Uh, Arcy, are those cracks a good sign?" Arceus looked back to the fourth wall, watching a few cracks beginning to form in the structure.

"Hold on, let me retcon that conversation. And this statement." Arceus' eyes flashed for a moment, and the cracks that were beginning to spread through it disappeared, and Mew's face went blank. She blinked a few times, clearly confused and turned to her right before nearly bumping into Arceus.

"Oh, hi Arcy! Didn't see you there. So, what are you going to review this month?" Arceus blanched but still replied, inwardly glad that was what she decided to question him about.

"Well, since it's February and St. Valentine's Day will be approaching soon, I will be reviewing a romance." Mew furrowed her brow at the hesitation and foreboding that was painted on his face.

"Okay? I don't see what's so bad about that." Arceus' eyes narrowed as he glared at her for a moment before using his reality-warping powers to project the clichéd effect that happens whenever a flashback was about to begin, before transitioning into said flashback;

FINE! FINE, I'll CONFESS! Just make it stop!

Mew responded with a sheepish grin and a scratch of the back of her head. "Okay, maybe that one wasn't great. But at least you chose a decent one. Right?"

"Yes, from SilverUmbra's library. But the quality is not the reason for my dread."

"Really? What could be so bad that-"

Arceus the Critic

"Thought Out" by SilverUmbra

Thought Out

By: SilverUmbra

Arceus- depressed with all of her thinking about how her life sucks- is confronted by Mew, who uses his charm to show her that the happiest things don't require any thinking at all. MewxArceus

"Oh..."

"Read that summary again, Mew."

"Okay!" Mew replied enthusiastically, the Legendary sticking her tongue out of the corner of her mouth as blue orbs scanned over the words again before going wide. "Wait... "His"!?"

"Well, why don't we begin?" Arceus asked hastily.

"Oh... God..."

Was it, er, ironic that she was saying such a thing?

Being sacrilegious against yourself?

(Arceus rolled his eyes.)

No... that's not ironic at all. Or impossible. Sarcasm aside, that is both a mildly amusing and intriguing way to start off a story, so maybe this romance won't be too bad.

The white and black wolf wasn't too sure, considering that she was half-asleep and very depressed, obviously in no state of mind to be accurately questioning such things.

Obviously, considering you think you are (me was? I am? Eh...) based of a WOLF!

Note from the Author:

To be fair; this story was written back in 2008, when Arceus wasn't well established or even widely known.

(Arceus' eye started to twitch.)

I thought I told you to stop interrupting me!

It seemed that the lupine was always depressed in the morning, mainly because she knew that it would be the beginning of another miserable day that would quickly get progressively worst like a giant ball of congealed blood rolling down a hill, gaining speed as it reached its goal to explode into a mass of gore.

And good morning to you as well, sunshine. Did you have pleasant dreams about kicking Lillipups?

If her disturbing similes weren't enough to show her bad mood, then nothing was.

Or maybe, she thought vacantly, it's literally poetic...?

Arceus gave a sigh, one golden paw tracing the rim of her cup as her half-closed emerald eyes stared blankly out of the window of her kitchen. It was really a nice day, and Arceus would have enjoyed it more if it hadn't been for the fact that she would soon have to stand in front of a bunch of lesser gods that were sure to find some way to put her in some type of pain- mental, physical, emotional or all three.

"What's the point?"

Character development?

Yes, the she-wolf

(Bloo: You bird- airplane- plant- thing!)

had found herself asking this a lot. What was the point? What was the point of being the god of gods when the lesser gods didn't even listen to a thing she said? When she told them to at least try and keep the destruction to a minimum what had the others gone and done- other than destroy and nearly sink Kanto below the ocean?

What was the point of being around when she didn't get the respect she assumed that she had earned? She would be damned,

More irony!

but hadn't she created them? Wasn't it all because of her that the legends could even live, learn and love? Yet, despite this, Giratina would sooner start eating himself than at least try and be civil, the younger legends acted like brats, and the more respectable of the pack simply ignored her basic requests.

Have you tried asserting yourself? I know, I know, it's pretty far-fetched, and you only have the fact that you're the equivalent of a creator to hold over the Legendaries head's, but it's worth a shot.

Overall, her existence was completely unnecessary.

And that was a reason alone to make her morning all the more miserable.

And worst, today...

She would have to do it all over again.

Pushing her cup aside with such force that it nearly tipped and spilled its contents,

Oh, heaven forbid I lose the coffee. It's the only thing that makes life worth living at this point. I've already lost my identity as an equine being, after all.

Arceus collapsed, her white and black head into her golden paws, ears flat against her head as her shoulders started to shake. The God of all Pokémon, of all living things, even, was having a break down. It had taken a few thousand years, but in one morning she had finally concluded a few things that tore her very soul apart.

Her existence wasn't needed

She'd be miserable forever

She was out of coffee

Conclusion?

Her life severely sucked.

Oh, don't feel too down; I'm sure you can always get more coffee.

As she laid sprawled on her kitchen table, her ears perked once, then twice. Someone had entered her home, but due to the fact that she was still groggy she wasn't sure who. It was only when the being had entered the room she resided in that her sensitive nose could pick up the scent.

(Raymond Luxury Yacht/Throatwobbler Mangrove: AHA! Anti-Semitism)

The smell of cotton candy and mint ice cream slipped into her senses, and she sighed heavily. If her morning had been difficult to cope with at first... now she had to deal with M-

"Arceus!"

-ew.

The wolf only grunted slightly as she felt small paws clutch her ears and a thin, but surprisingly strong tail curl around her neck gently. The feline gave a small giggle as he started the usual ritual of telling his greater legendary about what he was going to do for the day.

"I'm going to go with Azelf, Jirachi, Uxie, and Shaymin to go and get a present for Celebi's birthday, since it's next week!

Then I'm going to go and eat lots of candy and play at the park and-" As he ranted, Arceus' ears- which had perked to listen to him talk- had slowly started to go back against her skull again as her saddened state took hold of her. Mew was so lucky, lucky that he could do whatever the hell he wanted- eat sweets until he was sick, play games until he dropped from exhaustion .. Have fun... Something that the she-wolf would never be able to have. She was God, but because of this she couldn't do the things she wanted? Was that ironic? Or simply unfair?

(Palutena: That's part of the Goddess job description.)

"Is something wrong, Arceus?"

It took her a moment to realize that the pink cat had stopped talking, and was now asking the same question again. The white legendary had been so busy drowning in her thoughts of her pointless existence to even realize this until he asked again:

"Are you okay, Arceus?"

He sounded so concerned, and if she had been looking, she would have seen that his large blue eyes were twinkling with worry and that his small ears were resting against his head in the same manner as hers were. Arceus only gave a grunt in reply, sinking lower against the table and threatening to tip it over entirely. There was a small tug on her ears from Mew, and she knew he was awaiting an answer.

"What's the point?"

I think we're getting to it.

Her voice was so muffled by her fur against her face, she wasn't sure if he had heard her at all, seeing as he didn't reply right away. When she was about to give up and go to take a long nap, the cat stopped her with his thought out answer. The fact that such a usually laid-back legend was actually stopping to think was enough to make the lupine question her sanity of mind.

"Who says there needs to be a point?"

Such a Mew-like answer had been expected.

"Every-what?"

Yet it had managed to stump her.

"Why does there need to be a point? It seems like everyone always needs an answer to everything... like everyone always needs to know why they have to do something." There was a pause. "I don't really understand why that's the case, and most of the time I don't care... What's the point of life if you just spend it asking questions?"

The fact that he was asking questions confused the wolf.

He once overslept for a few thousand years.

He continues to use the same running gags over and over again... and somehow makes them work.

His strength is lampshading.

He is... The Most Interesting Pokémon in the World.

(The scene suddenly changes to a fancy restaurant, with Arceus sitting on a ridiculously over-sized leather booth. A spanish guitar can be heard being played in the background.)

I don't always think about the meaning of life, but when I do, I get so confused that I think I'm a lupine and need Mew to give me a lecture on philosophy. Stay very confused, my friends.

Arceus' white and black, thick and soft tail swooshed as she raised her head, causing Mew to flip off and land on the table. The legendary of children and happiness blinked his large eyes up at her as she stared back at him with vacancy. Her tail, against her will, moved again and her ears twitched. Before she could stop herself, she lowered her head so that the two furred legendaries were snout to snout, and in a very low voice, she spoke.

"Like what?"

There was a pause.

"I dunno. I mean..." he gave her one of his famous, boyish grins. "I know I'm happy when I'm around you, like, really happy, happier than I am around anyone else."

"Why?"

Mew shrugged his shoulders. "Dunno. And that's the point. Why bother thinking about it? I'm happy, so there's no need to worry about it."

"If this was a normal one-shot, this would be the part where Mew would have said something along the lines of 'I love you', and my lunch would be on the floor." Mew then floated up behind him, before sitting down on the flat top of Arceus' skull.

"Butttt... You don't have a mouth... So how could you-"

"Listen to the story Mew, and don't think about it." Mew then flew off Arceus' head like she was standing on lava, eyes wide, and screamed.

"WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ARCEUS!?"

She was promptly tossed out of the room via Arceus' vaguely defined powers.

Mew's basic method of thinking was strange to Arceus; the she-wolf had to think about everything. She had to think about the plans for the world, the plans of others that wished to have her power, the legendaries and their problems. She had to think about thinking, and about what other people thought of her... it was all thinking. Maybe, if Mew was right, it was this that was the base of her unhappiness.

Was she happy when Mew was around?

For all of his existence, Arceus had thought of him as a childish annoyance. She had only created him because there needed to be a legendary of children, and he was the first legendary that she had ever created. Despite everything she told herself, this had indeed made the small pink cat special to her, more so than any of the others. Maybe that was why she could forgive him for the stupid things he did, and maybe that was why he was so attached to her. Maybe? He was amusing and refreshing and kind, something that she could look forward to after a long day. His stupid mistakes showed her her own imperfections, as she would do the same thing if she wasn't as cautious as she was. His endless energy helped her out of her dreary moods that she constantly fell into with anything he could, even his terrible and pointless jokes. He was kind for multiple reasons, for all of the times that he came to her with coffee and some chocolate after she had just had an argument with Giratina, and though she could have gotten some herself, the candy from him always tasted more sweet...

And she didn't question why.

Arceus got to her golden paws and flicked her tail, head going to look out the window as Mew stared dumbly after her.

"Looks like I have another long day..." She sighed, voice light despite the fact that she knew she would soon have to literally drag Palkia back to the present dimension. "I'd better get going before something else comes up." The wolf yawned, fangs glinting in the sun like the wheel around her middle, before she started for the door. Yet-before she left to tackle her day- she turned to look at Mew.

"Thanks, Mew."

He gave her such a look that she doubted he knew was she was thanking him for, before he flashed her a knowing grin. "No problem, Arceus."

Arceus allowed herself to flash him a smile- the first one of her day- before she left the room.

Yes. Mew made her very happy.

And that was one thing she didn't question.

And with that, this one-shot is brought to a conclusion. And what is my Judgement?

It's one of the best one-shots I've read. Now, you may disagree, or simply scoff considering I avoid romance like the plague, but I personally think this story transcends a simple romance tag. Now, that is unusually high praise coming from me, so let me explain why I hold such a high opinion of this story; at first I thought it was simply one of the higher end romantic one-shots that avoided many of the clichés; there's no confession, no kiss, not even a hug. Arceus simply reflects on how Mew tries to cheer her up, and SilverUmbra manages to write it in a manner that keeps it from feeling like a monologue. And I was ready to simply dismiss it as that.

But then I went back and read through it again. And again. And again. And I found, the more that I read this story, the more layers to it I uncovered. Despite the fact that the moral of it is to not worry so much, though this is translated as not thinking so much, this story requires quite a lot of contemplation to truly appreciate. Perhaps the title itself will best serve as an example; Thought Out is ironic on multiple levels.

At a first glance it is seemingly contradictory with the overall theme, but when you look through the story you realize that Arceus' mindset is so dead-set that she even methodically thinks through her ignorance without realizing it, which in itself is ironic, and speaks to the title. Then there's how Arceus is constantly thinking out her days, but is at a loss of thought about what to do to fix them. On an even deeper level, Arceus' habitual thinking is so strong it actually impedes her from thinking about anything else, as demonstrated when Mew starts worrying over her, and once again when she becomes so focused on everything Mew has done for her to even care about what she was thinking about previously.

And in a few final ironic twists, the title itself can infer to Mew's philosophy of throwing thought out the window, not to mention how much thought it takes to truly appreciate this one-shot, and how much thought actually went into writing it. An author that is capable of putting in so many complex layers into a story less than two thousand words is truly one of the greatest authors of Pokémon fanfiction. And I've only talked about the depth of the story, the clichés that it avoided, and the fact that you can continue to read it over and over again and only appreciate it more each time.

Overall, this is one of the best one-shots I have ever read.

The End

Credits:

Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends

Monty Python's Flying Circus - Raymond Luxury Yacht

Kid Icarus: Uprising

Note From the Author:

Believe it or not, George isn't at home, please leave a message at the beep- sorry. Believe it or not, but I actually ship Arceus and Mew on occasion (were I to actually ship Arceus). That said, it would be completely uncharacteristic of him to view Mew in that light... right now.

(The author dives to avoid a barrage of tomatoes from the GodModeShippers and fanbase.)

Kidding! (Maybe...)

Anyways, unlike Arceus, I've actually read more than a few romances, but my opinion about Thought Out remains the same even in light of that.

In further news; I've passed Season One in reviews, so I would like to thank everyone who's contributed a review so far. It really means a lot to me.

Also, in other news; my verdict on ORAS: It completely makes up for X and Y. I'd even say it's on par with Emerald, which I consider to be the 4th Best Pokémon Game made (counting side games). In fact, it probably would have surpassed it if it weren't for a few questionable choices; like getting rid of the Game Corner, not bringing back the Battle Frontier, making you dress like the Punky Brewster of Hoenn during Contests, turning Mauville into an over-glorified mall, still not letting you fight May/Brendan postgame, and subtly mocking the fanbase by hinting that the Pokémon world we all grew up with and loved basically ended with Unova, and that everything from X and Y onwards takes place in an alternate dimension (you'll understand if you paid attention to Zinnia). Personally I think a remake of Emerald would have been a better choice.

Now, before I go, I'd actually like to address something that's bugged me for a while; Matthais' theory that since Mewtwo is male, and a clone of Mew's, that has too make Mew male as well. Now, since cloning traditionally refers to making a carbon copy of something within most Science Fiction, unless specified elsewise, then logic would have to dictate that Mewtwo would look and act exact like Mew. But since that thought is laughable, that means that the Rocket scientists clearly toyed around with Mew's genes to make Mewtwo stronger, larger, bulkier, and possibly more mature. So it's not within the realm of impossibility to suggest that their altercations to it, either directly or indirectly, resulted in him being male either. Now, that doesn't necessarily mean Mew is female, I just wanted to point out the major flaw in that hypothesis. From a writing/characteristic perspective though, hyperactive little girl suits Mew much better.