Arceus awoke to the sound of a very loud chord, followed by a drum beat. He shot out of his bed, red eyes wide open, and immediately flung his doors open to find the source of the racket. It did not take long, as the moment he exited his chambers and galloped into the Grand Hall, he saw that Mew was the source of the noise. Having somehow gathered a guitar, bass, keyboard and set of drums, she was using her psychic powers to levitate and play all of them simultaneously, whist holding her paddle-shaped tail in one of her small paws, wailing into it like it was a microphone.
"A modern day warrior, mean mean stride, today's Tom Sawyer, mean mean pride-" Arceus immediately cut off the noise by mentally snatching Mew from her mid-air recital, causing her to immediately drop the instruments as she was brought up to him, all of them falling down to the floor with a very grating crash. His eyes narrowed in irritation at her method of waking him up, while she just smiled cheekily.
"Morning, Arcy!" Arceus sighed, unable to retain much of his anger against her unabashed optimism.
"What is all this, Mew?"
"A wake up call?" The equine Pokémon sighed again, but he immediately recalled there have been far worse ways the Psychic Type had woken him up before. Like the time with the flamethrower and the Oreos. He still had nightmares about that. Or that one incident with the catapult and the Jerry Springer reruns. He visibly shuddered at that one.
"Arcy?" Arceus shook himself out of those very unsettling memories, refocusing his attention on the feline-like Pokémon floating before him.
"What is this really, Mew?" the Pokémon blinked, tapping her stubby paws together.
"Well... I figured it'd be fitting for the story you're going to review today." Arceus decided to humor the pink Pokémon.
"And what story would that be?"
"Rising Storm: Book 1. Besides, you kinda owe it to Jack Storm after dropping that vase on his head." the Normal Type's eyes flashed for a moment.
"Speaking of which..."
Somewhere in Sinnoh
A blue clad boy, followed by a panoply of various Pokémon, was leisurely walking down one of the roads. The boy stopped as he sensed something off, looking around the area for any signs of danger, until an Acme Anvil suddenly dropped out of the sky and landed on his head. The Lucario behind his screamed out in shock as the boy slumped down to the road, unconscious, but before he could do anything a sheet of paper materialized in his hands. The Pokémon's red irises quickly ran over the contents of it.
"You didn't see anything?" he repeated before looking back up to his partner, and to his shock saw that the anvil had vanished into thin air, before looking back down at his paws and seeing the piece of paper was gone too.
"That should hopefully cause some memory loss..." Arceus muttered darkly, before quickly recomposing himself and turning back to a confused and slightly frightened Mew.
"Very well, I suppose it is high time I reviewed something that wasn't a one-shot. And I'd rather not see what you have planned for me if I refuse." Arceus turned and floated away, leaving Mew dumbfounded at how quickly he capitulated. She then shook her small head before pulling out a walkie-talkie from nowhere.
"Call it off." she whispered into it as it crackled to life with a burst of static.
"Aw... Now what are we going to do with those two truckloads of feathers?" Mew shrugged, as if the voice on the other end could detect the movement.
"Just go pay Genesect a visit. I gotta go." with that, she quickly turned off the device before teleporting away in a flash of pink light.
Arceus the Critic
"Rising Storm: Book 1" by Jack Storm 448
Rising Storm: Book 1
By: Jack Storm 448
When you're Jack Storm, a boy raised by a family of Lucario, and blessed with extraordinary Pokémon-like abilities, the world is a dangerous place. But that isn't going to stop him from exploring it; on the way, he'll meet lots of new friends, and more than a few enemies. Special thanks to OseanSoldier, Matthais Unidostres, and Imperator Justinian for their continued support.
"I smell-" Arceus was cut off abruptly as Mew suddenly teleported into the room in a burst of bright light.
"Hiya, Arcy! So, how's the review going? Also; you have no nose." the Alpha Pokémon's eye twitched.
"It was going fine, thank you, until I was interrupted." the New Species Pokémon leaned in with a devious grin.
"So, how do you feel? Your first multi-chapter review!"
"It is s-"
"Have you cracked under the pressure yet!?" Mew blurted out. Arceus blinked.
"Well, I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous." the Psychic Type gave a reconciliatory nod.
"And you have every reason to be. After all, if you fail here and end up crowding the review with the story, you'll look like you're just giving it shameless advertising! But if you cut out too much, you'll probably be yelled at for not doing it justice. And if you bore everyone because you have to cover so much, you'll end up being a laughing stock and your career as a critic will be ruined!" she exclaimed, blue orbs nearly bulging out of her head at the final, dramatic exclamation. Arceus, who had begun sweating as she carried on, blinked and raised his head at a realization.
"This is payback for not being able to pull off that prank, isn't it?" Mew's over-the-top expression immediately vanished in the face of a disappointed pout, the small, feline Pokémon crossing her arms and floating around, muttering something under her breath. Arceus rolled his eyes and turned back to the computer.
"And back to the topic at hand. So, Jack Storm a-" Arceus cut himself off with a blink, his head glancing down slightly. "Jack Storm? What, were Joe Thunder and John Lightning already taken?"
Mew cleared her throat loudly and shot him a penetrating glance. Arceus just sighed.
"Very well, I do suppose that Storm is a fairly common surname. But still, this is Fanfiction, and the next two lines don't really dispel my fears." Mew's eyes narrowed.
"Maybe you should actually read it before jumping to assumptions." the Alpha Pokémon's eyes lowered, and the other Pokémon shrunk back.
"Then I suggest you permit me."
My dear Frodo...
Pardon me, wrong story.
Arceus deadpanned. "Clearly."
This is the tale of Jack Storm, a Pokémon master; and more, but we'll get to that later. For now I think it best to start at the beginning; in a forest, in the Sinnoh region.
It was not big enough, or close enough to a human city to be named by them, but to the pokémon who lived there it was known as Greenwood. It was a little cliché, but who's going to fault them?
Mew looked up at Arceus expectantly. He raised an eyebrow.
"What?"
"Aren't you going to say something?"
"What's there to say?" Mew opened her mouth again, but quickly closed it and nodded.
More specifically, our story begins in a little cave inhabited by a small family of Lucario; Mother, Father, and a little Riolu pup named Jason. They lived a happy life there with the other forest pokémon. Not a carefree life, but a happy life. Until one summer day...
Mew's face got really close to the camera.
"FORESH-" she was promptly flung into a wall.
"So," Arceus began, taking a quick glance in her direction. "Mother Lucario and Father Lucario, and yes; those are their names, have a rather entertaining discussion before Father Lucario heads out to fetch dinner. And what does he find?"
As he stepped into the clearing then, he saw three Poochyena stalking something. Feeling like having a little fun, and wanting to help whatever they were stalking, he put down his bundle and stepped out into the open.
It was not a good day for the Poochyena; Father Lucario gave them a proper whipping, and sent them packing. After chasing the perpetrators away, he got his first look at what they had found; it was a human baby!
"Yep; dinner." Mew, having pried her face off the marble, looked at Arceus in horror.
An Apology from the Author:
The Author would like to apologize for Arceus' black humor. He knows that Lucario-
Arceus let out a deep growl. "Not again."
After a few seconds of nothing happening, Mew began to look around apprehensively.
"Um, Arceus? Aren't we going to cut back to the author to see what happens?" the Normal Type just sighed.
Following this discovery, Father Lucario engaged in a brief but heated mental discussion with himself.
"A human baby? How did it get here?" asked one part of his mind.
"More importantly, what do I do with it? Should I just leave it here?" asked another.
"No! Of course not; those Poochyena would be back as soon as I leave." exclaimed the first.
"But then what do I do with it?" he took a closer look.
In reality, the baby was a him, and couldn't have been more than a few months old.
"About the same age as Jason," he thought.
Arceus shook his head. "Apples to Oranges. Or... human years to Lucario years, I suppose."
As soon as he made eye contact, the baby started to coo and reach for him.
"He doesn't seem frightened by me at all. I wonder..."
"Don't be ridiculous. I can't keep it, it's a human!"
"What does that matter, we're all God's creatures. Besides, if I don't take him with me, he'll die out here."
The father Lucario picked the baby up and rested it in the crook of his arm, where it soon fell asleep.
"Well that settles it," he said out loud, "he hasn't got anyone else, so we'll just have to take care of him ourselves."
The pseudo-deity began mimicking the Father Lucario's voice. "Even though we have no idea how to parent a human because we're Pokémon and he'll probably end up thinking he's just another Pokémon."
When he got home, Mother Lucario was just coming out to look for him, fearing that he had run into trouble; she could never have guessed what had actually taken place. Her joy at seeing him safe and sound, was soon replaced by confusion at the blue bundle he was carrying so carefully.
"What have you got there?" she asked, with her paws on her hips, "Not another human knick-knack, I hope."
Ever since they'd settled down in Greenwood, Father Lucario had taken to 'borrowing' things from the human town just ten minutes walk from the edge of the forest. He only took things that no one wanted anymore; things they were going to throw away, or had already. Still, Mother Lucario didn't approve of the practice.
"You could call it that," he replied, showing her the contents of the bundle, "but I get the feeling you'll want to keep this one."
Mother Lucario gasped in surprise, "What? A human baby; where did you get that?"
Arceus blinked and said nothing. Mew crossed her arms, flew up and poked him in his temple, causing his eye to twitch before he turned to look at her.
"What?"
"Well, aren't you going to make a joke here?"
"Out of fear of getting interrupted again, no." the Psychic Type sighed.
"C'mon Arcy! It might have been a joke earlier, but if you don't actually try then you really will be a laughing stock!" Arceus sighed.
"Fine," he acquiesced before refocusing on the story. "I suppose no one wanted him anymore, either."
Mew levitated in the drum set from earlier, and, deadpanning, performed a sting. Arceus turned to look at her, and she just shrugged.
"Frankly, Arcy, the Swanna would've been funnier." the Alpha Pokémon just shook his head.
"Regardless, they predictably decide to take him in, because the story would be the most aptly misnamed and poorly summarized I'd ever seen if they did abandon him or did have him for dinner, and find a pendant on Jack with his name in it. Fast forward a few years, and a bit of exposition about how much a natural Jack is at everything, and we find him training alongside his adoptive brother, who couldn't even be bothered to be introduced in the opening, against a Mankey."
"I'm going to wipe the battlefield with you this time Jack," shouted Clayton, the young Mankey against whom he was sparring; he was a good friend to have, but had trouble keeping his temper under control sometimes.
"Did I mention that the author could bother to give a name to a character who will have no meaningful impact on the story whatsoever but not to Jack's adoptive parents?"
"We'll see," replied Jack in his cool, calm, and collected manner which tended to aggravate the opposition.
It worked.
"Argg!" exclaimed the Mankey as he charged at Jack with Tackle.
"CHARACTERIZATION!" Arceus yelled, once again pulling off a perfect copy of the Mankey's voice. Mew held her head in pain.
Jack just stood and waited... then gracefully sidestepped the attack, at the same time tripping his opponent who landed face first in the dirt. The crowd of young pokémon surrounding them cheered. Clayton got back up and faced Jack, who began to taunt him.
"Is that all you've got? My mother hits harder than you."
This was, of course, completely true, but it still had the desired effect.
"So, the battle drags on for a while, and all it really encompasses is Jack taunting the Mankey, the Pokémon falling for it, Jack sidestepping him, and the Mankey getting even more mad. And yes, he also does very much reveal he thinks of himself as a Pokémon. Regardless, the monotony is broken with this;"
"YAAARRRGGGG!"
"Oh sorry, did I make you mad?"
Mankey charged at Jack, all caution thrown to the wind. Once again Jack let him get closer, but this time the boy's eyes momentarily turned a pure golden color.
*BAM!* To the complete astonishment of all in the clearing, Jack executed a flawless Counter attack by grabbing the Mankey's right wrist with his left hand, and yanking the off-balance pokémon into his right hand; which just so happened to be curled into a fist at the time. Clayton was out for the count.
Arceus let out a blasé sigh.
"What's wrong, Arcy?" the Alpha Pokémon shook his head.
"The entire battle can just be summed up as this:"
(George Newman: Look up... Look down... Now look at Mr. Frying Pan!)
Mew let out a nervous chuckle. "I guess you can say that Jack made a Mankey out of Clayton..."
It was Arceus' turn to perform the sting as he rolled his eyes, before letting his mental grasp of the drumsticks go as he turned back to the machine. "The opening chapter concludes with Jack's adoptive Riolu brother, Jason, finally getting some dialogue and confronting Jack over the fact he could use Pokémon moves, such as the Counter he pulled off last minute, when he clearly shouldn't and had told no one. The next chapter opens up with a ten year time skip, over the course of which Jason evolved, and Jack begins to learn more moves than actual Pokémon do."
Early on a summer morning, Jack awoke and rubbed his eyes. He got up and found that his family were nowhere to be seen. He shrugged and put on has favorite blue robes. These were the same ones that he had been found in ten years ago, and they had fit him for four years now; they resembled closely the uniforms that humans wore for martial arts, and were loose-fitting and didn't restrict his movement.
The Normal Type blinked confusedly. "So... the still unnamed Lucario Father finds him wrapped up in a martial arts uniform as a baby, something that none of them have any way of knowing what one would look like by the way, and despite growing in every way possible at an astronomical rate, they still manage to fit him? I feel like I'm missing something..."
"Maybe they found him in the clothes but they didn't fit him then?" Mew offered hesitantly. Arceus shook his head slightly.
"Perhaps, but then what would he have worn before those four years?" the Pink Pokémon blinked, and scratched the back of her head with an uneasy smile.
"Well, he was raised by Pokémon, so it's possible he walked aro-" the Alpha Pokémon sighed resignedly.
"I regret I ever asked..." the Pokémon's red eyes glanced over the machine. "So, we go through some rather gratuitous details about how his already bizarre clothing never fades or gets worn out-"
"Did we mention he's a human who can somehow use Pokémon moves?" Arceus glared at her irately and the New Species Pokémon shrunk away.
"Along with a thankful confirmation he did indeed wear clothes made of natural materials. He then goes off and reflects for a while before returning back to Chateau de Cave, strange seeing how the Lucario family can bother to teach Jack to read and make clothes for him but not build a door or furniture, where he is promptly surprised by his Pokémon family for his birthday."
"Surprise!"
A torch flared, and in the new light he saw his family and all of his friends standing around him. Mother Lucario walked up to him, carrying a large berry-cake that had obviously come from the human town. But Jack didn't have time to think about that, as Jason rushed up and gave him a big hug; of course, minding the spike on his chest.
"Eh, it's my birthday. I can deal with a bit of non-relevant plot convenience." Arceus commented woodenly, this time in Jack's voice, before clearing his throat. "Regardless, during the party they also give Jack a backpack, and later he decides to go out on an adventure. Morning comes, with it a new chapter, and Jack and Jason head off into the unknown town nearest to their forest."
Once in the town they first looked for a source of information, which they found in the library. Jack was very glad that his parents had made sure he learned English as well as Pokéspeak, and that he was already somewhat familiar with the lay of the land.
After a little research they found that the town was called Sandgem, and it resided in the region the humans called Sinnoh. They also found that by some amazing coincidence there was a professor here that could start them on their journey. They hastened to his laboratory, eager to get their journey underway.
*Ding ding*
"Oh, hello there," said the young man at the desk, "you must be a trainer."
"No no," Jack hastily corrected the man.
He had heard about trainers before; nasty people who caught Pokémon in little devices and forced them to battle.
"I'm just this region's version of N, except no one's manipulating me and I have the destructive powers of a Pokémon and no idea how the world works." Mew raised an eyebrow at his comment, but said nothing.
"Well then, come with me; and I trust that this Lucario is with you?"
"Yes, he's with me, but..."
"Good, then bring him too; the professor will see you immediately. Right this way."
"And, of course, dutifully fulfilling his job as a lab assistant who is supposed to have a natural curiosity, the assistant asks nothing about it and leads Jack to the most intimidating Pokémon Professor in history, who will certainly give the boy a good first impression of the practice."
"My name is Professor Rowan, what's yours?"
"Jack Storm, sir, and this is Jason."
Rowan seemed quite pleased at this. "You've given him a name already, have you. I can see that the two of you are very close to one another."
Jack plucked up a little courage at this, and said, "we're like brothers sir."
"Yes, well. I assume he has a Pokéball then?"
Arceus raised an eyebrow in interest. "Well, I think we all know where this is headed."
(Dede: Ooohh! What does this button do?)
"Just tap your Lucario with it. Go on."
Cautiously, Jack did as he said. Now, you and I know exactly what's going to happen, but Jack had no idea. So, when Jason disappeared with a flash of light into the ball, Jack was so startled that he dropped it. The ball rocked a few times, then stopped. Jack was horrified, but no one noticed.
"Good job," said Rowan, "now he's officially yours."
Jack managed to stammer, "H-how do I g-get him back out?"
"Just press the button on the front."
Jack dived for the ball, and jabbed his finger at the lifesaving button. The ball opened and Jason reappeared, looking rather shaken. Jack released his breath when he saw that his brother was unharmed. Then, realizing that the Professor was looking at him funny, he stood back up and regained his composure.
"And, afterwards, the good Professor points Jack in the direction Oreburgh, all the while blissfully ignorant to his obvious discomfort and strange apparel, and Jack finally leaves, truly setting off on his journey. They travel a little while, Jack asks Jason what being inside a Pokéball is like, and the two brothers fall asleep."
"RISE AND SHINE, SLEEPYHEAD!"
Jack's reflexes shot him out of bed like a cannonball. Jason put a paw to his mouth to stifle the guffaws that threatened to break through.
"It's a pity they don't let you start the olympic high jump lying down; you'd be unbeatable." After he said this, the guffaws let themselves out all at once. Causing all the bird pokémon within half a mile to fly away.
"I'll get you for that." Jack threatened, smiling.
"Uh, oh." With no further warning Jack leapt at his brother. the poor lucario tried to dodge, but to no avail. Jason was then subjected to the most horrible torture imaginable.
"Ha, ha, ha. No, please stop! Ha, ha, ha, ha. Have mercy! Ha, ha, ha." Yes. Tickle torture.
"That was funny, Arcy." owner of said nickname nodded in agreement.
"Yes. In fact, it was entertaining enough that I'm willing to overlook the fact that Jason knew what the Olympic High Jump was, but not the name of the town bordering their forest." Mew chuckled uneasily, twiddling her small thumbs.
Later that morning they had made some headway, but they still had a long way to go. They decided to take a short detour though a nearby wood. This is where the fun begins.
"I'll be the judge of that." the Alpha Pokémon commented reservedly.
"It's not anywhere close to as nice as our forest," Jason noticed.
"Well, not everyone can be as fortunate as us," replied Jack, "but I'm sure that lots of pokémon call this place home."
"Okay, but let's hope we don't meet any mean ones."
YES! He said it, so now I have official permission to make it happen. *Evil laugh*
The white Pokémon's red eyes drooped slightly, and he sighed.
"I've been trying to avoid commenting about this, being as it's only the beginning and I shouldn't be too quick to judge," Mew snickered, while he carried on. "But the author has a rather bad habit of injecting authors notes, for lack of a better term, in the middle of the story, and it disrupts the flow. Granted, it is entertaining, but unless if it's a satire or the story completely disregards the fourth wall, it's not wise."
"What's that buzzing sound?" Jason asked. His aura receptors rose as he concentrated, then his eyes snapped open,
"duck!"
Not a moment too soon. Out of the bushes came two green pokémon locked in combat.
"Stop that!" Jack shouted. The two pokémon stopped and looked at Jack. He saw that one was a scyther, and the other a breloom. Neither of them looked happy.
They looked at each other. The scyther said, "let's finish this later."
The breloom nodded (a sight to behold). Then they both attacked the two brothers. The scyther headed straight for Jack with Fury Cutter and Jack had to use Agility to dodge.
"Why are you fighting us?" Jack asked as the scyther froze in amazement.
"You used a move!"
"Yes, I did. Now why are you fighting us."
"You can understand me too!?" By this point the scyther was finding it hard to stay upright.
"Yes! I can understand you. Now why are you fighting?"
This was too much for the poor bug type; it fell over unconscious.
Jack looked over to see how his brother was doing. Jason had breloom up against a tree and was threatening him with Metal Claw, Wolverine style. "One, Two..."
"That's enough. Let's get some answers out of him first." The movie-loving lucario let the frightened breloom drop to the ground.
Arceus' eye began to twitch. Mew floated backwards cautiously.
"Cave. Forest. No electricity! CONSISTENCY!" he then shook his head and let out a heavy breath.
Jack concentrated and said, "I'm not sure how much longer I can keep my friend here in check. Hows about you just tell me why you attacked us."
Cliché it may be, but it worked.
"You were in our way," the breloom said in a very small voice.
"That human and his Lucario are standing off to the side, minding their own business as they passed through the woods until we nearly injured them in the middle of our battle. Might as well kill them." this time it was Breloom's voice that came out of Arceus' non-existent mouth.
"We're in rival clans, we were fighting over territory."
"That's not all though, is it."
"What do you mean?"
"You know very well what I mean. The two of you were pulling your punches. You weren't trying to hurt each other; You were trying to escape."
Arceus' eyes narrowed in confusion. "And when was that indicated? The part of the battle the two brothers saw merely consisted of them tumbling out of a shrub, so how on earth did he come to that conclusion?"
The Alpha Pokémon shook his head. "Well, regardless, the Breloom breaks down in asterisked sobs, admitting that it's true, while Jason congratulations Jack on his deductive skills, in which he cryptically replies he has plot convenience on his side."
The breloom turned out to be a captain in the ranks of his clan, and everyone just called him Cap. He and the female scyther, whose name was Katana, were orphans. When they were young they were close friends, but when two clans adopted them they were overjoyed, until they found out that they had to fight.
At this point Katana woke up and was brought up to speed. For the last year, they had snuck out and met up with each other under their clans' radar. They had planned to escape, and the battle the two clans were locked in at present was the perfect time. So they fought their way into the trees away from the battle, and when Jack yelled at them they had simply panicked.
"We're really sorry," Cap apologised.
"Well, you didn't do any harm to us," Jack said, "but you're going to have to hurry if you want to escape."
Cap looked at him, a little embarrassed, "well actually, I'm wondering if we can come with you. You are a trainer after all."
Katana looked at Cap in amazement,
Arceus' eyes flashed.
Cap: What?
Katana: You're just going to ask a random trainer we just met and tried to kill if we can come with him?
Cap: Why not? It's not like our clans don't know that we tried to sneak off or anything, and clearly anyone with a Lucario as a partner has to be a good guy.
Mew gazed on in wonderment. "How do you do that?"
Arceus just pressed a button.
(Jack Storm: I have my ways,)
"Hold on. Hold on. I'm not actually a trainer; I don't catch pokémon," Jack explained.
Jason held up a paw, "Well, actually... you are, technically, a trainer. You caught me, even if it was an accident."
Jack looked slightly sheepish, "well... in that case sure you can come with us, but I'm not putting you in pokéballs."
"Even though you're liable to get caught by a stray Pokéball or a random trainer if we end up separated." the New Species Pokémon glared at the Normal Type.
"Very well, I do suppose it fits his character."
"Good, now let's get out of here!" Jason shouted as an angry-looking swarm of scyther came out of the dense trees.
Ten minutes of hard running later, and they had left the woods behind them.
"After which we are greeted by a small author's notes in the next chapter which details the Pokémon's moves, and clarifies that Jason knows... five moves?" Arceus blinked a few times before shaking his head.
"And our heroes finally end up in Oreburgh, with Jack being taken aback at it's size and scale. Afterwards, he encounters a group of children and they lead him and 'his' Pokémon to the gym, upon which he decides that he should challenge Roark."
Jack and his friends stood at one end of a room that seemed big enough to fit a wailord quite comfortably. The floor was covered with jagged rocks, several of which were bigger than himself. Underneath the rocks he could see white lines forming a rectangle, with a design in the middle that seemed familiar... Jack pulled out a pokéball; the pattern was identical. At the other end of the room a young man stood with a pokéball in his hand. A referee stood at centre field. He noted Jack's clothes and hair, but decided not to ask too many questions. Instead, he called out,
"alright challenger, state your name and town"
"I'm Jack Storm from Greenwood, but..."
"THE BATTLE IS GYM LEADER ROARK VERSUS THE CHALLENGER JACK STORM FROM GREENWOOD TOWN. IT WILL BE A THREE ON THREE BATTLE, AND ONLY THE CHALLENGER IS ALLOWED TO SUBSTITUTE POKÉMON. THE BATTLE WILL BE OVER WHEN ALL POKÉMON ON ONE SIDE ARE UNABLE TO BATTLE. BEGIN!"
"On Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!" Mew shouted out, earning a glare from Arceus, who quickly softened and just rolled his eyes.
"Anyways, the battle starts with Jack using Cap, who struggles against Onyx in an exchange of moves until this:"
*BOOM* The explosion took out both Onyx and the sandstorm. Cap hung in the air, cartoon style, for a second before looking directly at the screen, "help me," and dropping to the ground.
Arceus just stared at the screen in his usual deadpan. Mew backed away very slowly.
Roark recalled his pokémon and said, "you did well Onyx, take a good rest. Now Golem, I choose you!"
"And Golem pretty much kicks around Cap until the Breloom pulls off a turnabout that would make Phoenix Wright blush; onomatopoeia." Arceus' eyes narrowed.
"Yes, the Pokémon literally gets saved by onomatopoeia."
But then, Golem hit a rock which knocked him to the side just enough to miss the cowering breloom. As the ball of rock turned around for another pass, Cap acted out of instinct. *Slam!* *Crash!*
"The battle is decided shortly afterwords with Golem getting knocked out, and Cap conveniently fainting soon afterwards so it could never be said that Jack won his first Gym Battle with only one Pokémon he just met the day prior. Afterwards, Roark calls out his Rampardos, and Katana volunteers to be cannon fodder so Jason can learn it's fighting style, and to keep the battle from being too one-sided." Arceus rolled his eyes.
"After Rampardos somehow lands a supereffective hit on the Bug/Flying type with Zen Headbutt, because apparently the amount of moves a Pokémon can learn isn't the only thing flexible here, and finishes the Scyther up with another attack, Jason the Lucario steps up to avenge his fallen comrades. And, I have to admit, theirs is probably the best battle yet, even if Jason wins in the end."
Jason rushed back to engage in a group hug with Jack, Cap, and Katana.
"We did it, we really did it!"
Roark came up to them, "you fought well, here's the coal badge as proof that you beat me."
He then handed Jack a small metal object. Now that he was closer to the trainer, Roark observed the unruly hair, and the strange blue robes, but didn't think too much of it. He'd seen stranger trainers since he had taken over the gym.
"There are seven other gym leaders you'll have to fight if you want to challenge the Sinnoh league though," he continued, "and they're even tougher than me."
Jack took the badge and asked, "thanks, but what do I do with it?"
Roark looked at him in surprise, "Oh, just put it in your badge case for now."
(Patrick Tatapolus: That's a lot of fish.)
Jack remembered one of the things he had picked up at Professor Rowan's lab. He took a small metal box out of his bag, opened it , and found that the badge fit nicely inside.
"Thanks," he said again.
"With that, the chapter is concluded. The next one is started with the Author... arguing with his own characters in the A/N?"
"Deja vu..." Mew commented as Arceus frantically looked around. She sighed dejectedly when the Alpha Pokémon failed to return to his usually sedated state, and turned to the camera. "With the gym battle over they decided to go to the city library before heading over to the Pokémon Center."
That night, just before bed, Jack called the four of them together to discuss where they would go from here.
"I wanted to ask all of your opinions about this before I did anything. The thing is... I've decided to be a real trainer and do the things they do; challenge gyms, battle other trainers, and hopefully compete in the Sinnoh League."
Cap and Katana looked somewhat stunned, but Jason just raised his hand, "does this include capturing pokémon?"
"No, of course not! I'll never go that far." At hearing this the two green pokémon released their breath. Jason, however, looked a little skeptical.
"I won't!" Jack insisted, "I just wanted to know what you think about it."
Cap looked curious, "why do you want Katana's and my opinions?"
"Well, I've grown attached to you two, and we make quite a team. I know that Jason will follow me wherever I go; but I want to know, will you come with me?"
The two green pokémon looked even more stunned than before, this time Katana was the first to recover, "You mean, on your journey, as your pokemon?"
Arceus' head whipped back to the computer. "Isn't that what you signed up for? Didn't you quite literally ask to tag along, and just help him win his first Gym Battle?" The Alpha Pokémon shook his head.
"Regardless, I suppose it shows that Jack cares for his Pokémon, and that he is indeed quite the considerate person. They, of course, say yes, and drift off to sleep."
*BOOM* The explosion woke the entire city. Jack shot out of bed narrowly missing Katana, who launched herself from across the room in a likewise fashion. The other occupants of the room didn't wake up quite as explosively.
"What was that?" Jack exclaimed.
Jason's Aura receptors rose as he concentrated, "I'm sensing lots of panic from downtown," he informed them. Without another word, the four of them raced out of the pokémon centre toward the downtown area. As they headed toward the disturbance they heard another explosion. People were coming out of their houses now, and a crowd of humans and pokémon were running in fear away from...
"Look at that!"
Arceus rolled his eyes. "Is it a bird?"
Jack said staring in shock at the bird-like pokémon attacking the city,
The Alpha Pokémon blinked and looked down sheepishly.
"It's Articuno!"
A small group of trainers, including Roark, were attempting to stop the rampaging legendary, but they weren't having much luck. Their pokémon fired attack after attack into the sky, but nothing touched Articuno. Any flying types they sent out were promptly smacked down by its Ice Beam. Even the gym leader's pokémon were unable to stop it.
"Your Pokémon couldn't overcome a trainer three days into his journey, even when he had only met two of his Pokémon a single day prior and not trained with them. Were any of us expecting you to be of any use? But don't worry, we have said inexperienced trainer, who, despite being a human, thinks he can stand up to the equivalent of a deity because he can use Pokémon moves. Even when he has three real Pokémon next to him, all of who should be weaker than the Gym Leader's Pokémon fighting in the battle that are doing nothing against Articuno." Mew floated up, clearing her throat loudly.
"But; they decide they want to try to try to talk or pacify Articuno through Aura instead of just immediately jumping into the fray."
"Only to be rebuffed effortlessly."
Jack and Jason were equally astonished at the strength of Articuno's mental defenses. Jack stated what was obvious to both of them as their concentration reentered their bodies, "it's uncanny; non-psychic types, even legendary ones, can't usually maintain a mental shield that strong," Jack suddenly switching from silent telepathy to audible speech caused Cap and Katana to jump.
"And, again; you would know this how? Have you ever tried to get into a Legendary Pokémon's mind? Am I missing something? If I read this story backwards will I find an entirely different backstory that ties in with this?" The Legendary shook his head.
"Anyways, Jack and Jason try to fight against Articuno, who effortlessly brushes them aside, but decides that their sudden presence inexplicably warrants it's escape, and in the process, Jack reveals to all the onlookers that he can indeed use moves. This has a predictable effect, and Jack performs a vanishing act that could give Batman a run for his money."
Once there they got healed up, then quickly packed their bags and left the city quietly. Once Oreburgh was out of sight, Jack called a halt. The four friends set up a small campfire to cook something to eat. While they looked for sticks and twigs, Jack and Jason discussed matters that had been on jack's mind for a while now.
"Did you see it Jason; the way they looked at me, like I was some sort of freak."
"I'm sure they were just amazed at your prowess in battle, and worried about the hit you and I almost took."
Jack looked deeply distressed, "no, that wasn't it and you know it. They radiated fear, you must have sensed it, they were afraid of me."
Jason shook his head emphatically, "no, no, they weren't afraid of you! They were just scared that Articuno might come back."
Jack looked more miserable than before. In little more than a whisper, "I read their minds."
A look of shock crossed Jason's face, followed closely by a look of despair.
"I read their minds!" Jack continued, shouting in anguish now, "and all I found was fear! Fear of me... a freak, that's what they called me in their minds. A freak," having said this, Jack fell to his knees and wept.
Cap and Katana heard his pained cries and rushed over to comfort him. As soon as Katana saw him on the ground crying, she threw her tough, tomboyish demeanor out the window. And while Cap and Jason stood around feeling helpless, she knelt and hugged him (minding her blades).
"hush, hush, it's alright Jack, it's alright. You're not a freak, you're a boy. You have friends here, and a Father in Heaven who love you."
After a while Jack's sobbing slowed down and finally stopped.
Arceus gave a curt nod. "You know, I have to give the author credit for this scene. For as outlandish a character Jack Storm may be, this is a perfectly logical, and a quite touching, outcome of what would happen if he revealed himself. I can't say much more than that; it's just a really good scene that is too important for me to skip or summarize."
Mew smiled, performing a mid-air backflip. "Yep! Things get back to their usual selves for our heroes, and they carry onto Eterna!"
"But not before stopping for a bit of training, where they are promptly spied upon by Team Our-Name-Has-Nothing-To-Do-With-Our-Goals-Of-World-Domination-And-Profits."
"Why are we watching them? He only has three pokémon."
"Yes, but one of them is a lucario you dolt, and a powerful one at that; considering the size of that explosion we heard.
That kind of power and elegance would make me famous."
"I'm 'tinken more about how much green that black and blue beauty'll get us."
"Unless it turns us black and blue instead..."
"You make a good point, we'll have to plan this carefully."
Jason and Jack sat in the centre of the clearing from then unfilled the sun rose. Nothing disturbed them, except for three rapidly retreating Aura signatures. Jason didn't pay them any mind, they were probably just the proverbial early pidgeys after the worm. Little did he know how close that was...
When the first rays of sunlight entered the clearing, Jason got up and carried Jack back to their campsite. But when they got there, they were greeted by the sight of Cap and Katana tied up with chains in a cage. Jack woke up real fast, and the two brothers rushed to free their friends.
*POOF!* A cloud of smoke covered them completely, and when it cleared, Jack saw that Jason was trussed up inside the cage as well, and three figures were standing in front of it; a woman with long purple hair, a man with blue hairline, both of which had a red R on their shirts. A meowth stood on the cage, holding a remote.
"Who are you?" Jack shouted.
"Listen, is that a voice I hear?" said the woman.
"It's yelling at me loud and clear," replied the man.
Woman: "On the wind,"
Man: "Past the stars,"
Meowth: "In your ear."
Woman: "Bringing chaos at a breakneck pace,"
Man: "Dashing all hope and putting fear in its place."
Woman: "A rose by any other name is just as sweet,"
Man: "When everything's worse our work is complete."
Woman: "Jessie,"
Man: "And it's James,"
Meowth: "Meowth, that's a name."
Jessie: "Putting the do-gooders in their place,"
James: "We're Team Rocket,"
All: "In your face."
Arceus rolled his eyes. "I'm too busy trying to figure out whether or not the author is staying true to the motto, or is subtly mocking the reader about the obnoxious and lazy scrip format, the abrupt change to that format, and the unnecessary line break, to be particularly concerned. Still, I'll give him credit that at least their introduction was quick enough that I didn't have to pull out the Ferris Bueller quotes."
After giving a nod in approval, Arceus cleared his throat. "Predictably, their poorly thought out plan is foiled effortlessly, not that it takes much effort to foil Team Rocket nowadays, and Jason is rescued. And, despite my griping, I have to give the author kudos for keeping them in character, and for making the entire encounter enjoyable instead of irritating."
Arceus raised an eyebrow, but then shook his head. "Afterwards, and one character-author argument in the next A/N later, followed by a quick rundown of their morning schedule, they hit the road again before stopping for lunch."
As they were eating though, they heard a loud scream. Instantly they were on their feet and ready for anything. Jack and Jason scanned the area around them and found at least four distinct Aura signatures heading towards them; three of them were pokémon, and one was human, and there was indistinguishable fuzz around the human that indicated full pokéballs.
It wasn't more than thirty seconds before a young kirlia and dratini came crashing out of the undergrowth, and straight into Jack's leg.
"Oof," exclaimed the kirlia, then she looked up. "EEP," she cried before tightly hugging the dratini for protection, "please, don't hurt us."
Jack slowly got down on his knees, "shush shush, it's alright, I won't hurt you..."
Suddenly a lairon crashed out of the bushes as well, the kirlia screamed in terror. The large pokémon roared at them, but a command came from the trees,
"Lairon, stand down."
Lairon instantly stopped roaring and stood still. A boy about Jack's age with dark purple hair walked out of the shadows.
"Who are you," Jack demanded, holding the two frightened pokémon close to him," and why were you chasing these pokémon?"
If the purple haired boy noticed Jack's appearance, he didn't show it, "the name's Paul, and I was going to catch them. Now get out of my way."
"And Jack, being the upstanding citizen he is, decides to stick up for the two Pokémon. They get into a battle, and with Jason effortlessly defeating Paul's Absol by convincing it to roll over dead, upon which the trainer promptly releases it in disgust. This angers Jack to the point where he scares Paul senseless. The next chapter is really just a continuation of the previous, where Jack brings the Dratini and Kirlia from earlier, Aura and Wendy, under his wing, and also decides to bring along the Absol Paul released, Lucy."
Jack and Jason spent two hours at a nearby lake, meticulously washing and combing Lucy's fur. She was a little surprised that they would go to all that trouble for her, but when Jason started to massage her back she found herself enjoying it against her will. The lake was warmed by the sun, and was quite comfortable. As they washed her, however, they found more and more scars, and Jack's anger rose with each one.
"I'll make Paul pay for every stripe," Jack promised.
Lucy protested however, "I don't hold a grudge against him for the past, all I have to worry about is the future."
Jack felt his anger cool, "I'll never do anything to hurt you."
She didn't say anything to that, but just relaxed into the lukewarm water.
Arceus raised an eyebrow in apprehension. "And apparently he's also put her through Frederick's Fanatical Fitness Hour."
Mew shot him a look, but shook her head. "So, that's ten chapters, Arcy. What's your Judgement so far?"
"What is my Judgement so far?" Arceus mused, eyes glancing upwards. "Admittedly, Mew; it's not the strongest of starts."
The Psychic Type balked, while the Alpha Pokemon carried on. "Aside from multiple problems with capitalization and consistency, particularly in the matter of how human the Pokemon should act like, or in the fact that Jason already had a name but Jack gives them to Cap, Katana, Aura and Wendy, Jack also comes across as a bit of a Gary Stu. Being raised by Pokemon, being able to use Pokemon Moves, being able to use more moves than actual Pokemon themselves, having Pokemon practically fall out of the sky and join him within a few minutes only because he's seemingly there, and being able to easily best trainers with far more experience..."
"B-But-" Arceus shook his head at her stammering.
"Now, I'm not saying that Rising Storm is a bad story even in light of that. All I'm saying is that it's not off to a very strong start," Mew let out a sigh of relief at that. "It's only ten chapters in, ten out of forty, and though not the best at character or plot, the reason for Jack wanting to leave and go out on a journey is not even expounded upon very well, the battles are still entertaining and it has it's emotional moments that are handled with an intriguing amount of finesse, and I'm not one to usually make a verdict on the entire story from just the opening chapters."
"So... you'll keep reviewing it?"
"Yes, Mew. But I feel that this is enough for now, and I have no desire to overextend myself."
Arceus the Critic
We'll be right back!
Arceus' head ripped through the title card while the Looney Tunes theme played in the background.
"I've always wanted to have that play at the bottom." the Normal Type tried pulling his head out from the hole, only to fail. He chuckled nervously, turning his head best he could.
"Mew? Could you-"
"I'm on it, Arcy!"
Note from the Author:
(The author, clad in a full body cast, slowly hobbled into the room. Muttering bitterly, he took his seat. He let out a pained cry, shoved it aside, and stiffly pressed a button on his desk.)
(King Dedede: I need a monster ta clobba dat dere Kirbeh.)
"This isn't over just yet, Arceus..."