LOUDERTALE

by Superdimentio77

When Lincoln wins a free reservation at a resort, he of course invites all of his family to join him. But when said resort is standing next to a certain mountain, their visit up the mount might extend the Loud Siblings' trek by a little bit. What friendship and trials await them? Look out Underground, here come the Louds.

12. Snowdin, Part 3

LOUDERTALE

Arc 2 : Snowdin

Part 3 : Grease and Canines

(Feat. (unfortunately) Jerry)

Author's Note : Yeah, I know I'm late. My plane's in an hour, so let's make this quick.

Exams took over my life, and considerably slowed down the production of this chapter. I originally wanted it to be longer (Shocker !), but some of you told me that they found the last chapter a tad too long, which I have to agree. So for whatever awesome Holiday you're celebrating, here's a good Filler chapter to feast upon !

Yep, fights and interractions, nothing else ! Hope you'll still enjoy it !

Without further ado, other than saying that Undertale, Loud House, and all of the two franchises' characters aren't mine, let's proceed with the chapter.

---

Time was relative. Numbers, clocks and calendars could help regulating it, but the common mind had with it was all up to them and their environnement. Fifteen minutes stuck in traffic were a never-ending bore, while a couple of hours at a party could fly by without being even registered. The first two-hundred and thirty minutes of that big exam were a blur, but boy could you feel every heart-smothering second of those last ten minutes !

You could also look at the stars, and ask yourself where was the time flying by in this ever-changing world. Or you could look at the ceiling of your own confinement, and wonder every day when things would truly change, for the better or for the worse...

…

Moral of the story, time was a fickle thing, easy to lose track of. And that was exactly how a short break, planned to last fifteen minutes at most, turned into an hour-long intermission. It wasn't like the Louds were lacking any activities, with about half of them dozing away – Leni having joined her little sisters to recover from her dreamy encounters with the charming skeleton – and the other half losing themselves in conversations, puns, groaning at puns, and other time-consuming activities.

It was surprising how well a quiet noise like Lily's waking yawn could break them all out of their stupor. One by one, the others awakened from their slumber.

"I gotta say, for a filthy cold ground in the snow, this is one good napping spot." grinned Lola as she began her post-nap beautifying routine.

"I'll say ! One the best naps I've taken on the ground in years !" chirped Lana, stretching her limbs and her back like a cat with a content moan.

Lisa opened her heavy eyelids with a smack of her dry lips. The little genius looked like a couple more dozing hours wouldn't be a luxury. But activating the night owl she could sometimes transform herself into, all it took was a deep breath, a dusting of her glasses, and some snow splashed in her face to have her brain running at maximum capacity again. Now if only this place had coffee-filled mug trees at disposal. Hey, if she was going to accept the wackiness of this place, she might as well hope for the pleasant kind of ludicrous stuff.

Leni was a little grumpier about waking up. The Great and Majestic Knight Papyrus had just slayed the evil Sweater Vest dragon, and had been about to celebrate his rescue of Princess Leny (with a 'y') with a tender kiss on her lips. But alas, the last couple of centimetres was never reached, and their wedding went off like the pop of a bubble.

"Can't I have, like, five more minutes ?" she complained sluggishly. "Papyrus was about to kiss me, you guys."

"Well, if you stay there, you won't have any chance to smooch the real deal, will you now ?" said Lincoln, cocking a suggestive eyebrow.

"Why aren't we moving any faster ?! C'mon you guys, there's still a long way to go ! Hop hop hop !" encouraged a now all too awake Leni.

"Now you're talking !" joined Lynn as she bounced up from her third press-up series.

"Smooth job, bro." Luna fist-bumped him.

"Best use of the 'You snooze, you lose !' I've ever seen !" cracked Luan. "Get it ?"

"As always, yes." sighed Lori, wiping Lily's slobbery face clean. "Alright, head count everyone !" She began tapping every hatted and naked scalp, getting a total of 10, including hers. She paused at the erroneous number, before understanding where that mysterious feeling of being watched was coming from. She reached out behind her, and just as she guessed, her hand landed on an ebony stack of hair. "And, that makes eleven."

"Huh. You're getting good at this." monotoned Lucy, with a microscopic layer of happiness coming from being included in a head count. An occurrence of the rarity of seeing Lynn giving a meatball sub a pass.

"First day luck. Don't get too used to it." said the blonde leader. "Well, looks we're ready to go. Lincoln ?"

"Just a sec... there !"

*"The frozen spaghetti reminds you of something. Something with less danger for your stomach... It fills you with Determination !"

LOUDS – Snowdin Spaghetti

LV1 – 175:22

File saved successfully !

"Thinking with you stomach again. Typical." coyly grinned Lynn.

"Like you don't crave for Spaghetti Night less than I do." countered Lincoln chummily.

"No time for food talk !" yelled Leni, fitting herself between the two. Her bouncy soles were making the message all too clear. The skeleton of her dreams was waiting, and she would NOT waste a single more minute that could further the delay of their next encounter. Those were also big words for her, so this was getting really urgent !

"You heard the lady ! Let's move out !" said Lana, at least half as excited as the fashionista. She had yet to encounter more dog monsters, like the two station owners, and she was getting goosebumps of thrill just thinking about it.

With eagerness in their step, the Louds were on the go once again. What surprise would await them next ? And when ?

---

Around the corner seemed to be the correct answer to the last question.

"Mind reading that again, Lunes ?" said Lincoln, part of the gallery of weird looks depicted on each of the expressions worn by the music lover's siblings. Said music master rolled her eyes, slightly annoyed at having to read that wooden sign again.

"'Warning : Dog Marriage ahead.' Exactly what I said the first time, brah." said Luna. She then pointed a finger at the right bottom corner. "They even left a note right there to say that I made no flub !"

"A dog marriage ? That sounds so cute !" Lola squished her cheeks in elation. "Two dogs in a tuxedo and a wedding dress, getting married by a little dog priest, and in front of an assembly of fancy-looking dogs. Eeee ! So adorable !"

"In that case, you better hope the groom is as good as the breed ! Hahaha !" guffawed the comedienne, earning herself groans and a glare from Lola for ruining her fantasy.

"Do you think it could be another puzzle clue ?" said Lucy.

"But we already know that there are more dogs ahead." remarked Lori, remembering Sans' actually helpful advice. "Hmm, maybe we'll have to pull on their heartstrings or something ?" Lily supported the idea by doing kissy faces.

"That's one weird idea. But then again..." Lynn scratched her chin in reflexion, for about a second. She preferred taking those fights as they came, rather than giving herself a headache trying to figure them out in advance. "I dunno. Lisa, any idea ?"

"Apart from what Lori has already suggested, I fret not. Lana, as our fauna expert, any advice you'd like to suggest ?"

"Uh-uh. Luan, a wild guess ?"

"I'm dog tired out of ideas ! Leni ?"

"Nope. White panting dog face ?"

"*Pant pant*"

"Haven't got a clue." Luna shook her head. "Bro ?"

"Hard to say now. Maybe we should just waaaait a second. What dog face ?!"

The sibs suddenly became aware of the close sound of heavy breathing, and quickly identified the culprit. Behind the little wooden sign was another snowed pine tree, as plain as could be. And poking midway from behind that tree, was the head of a dog. The canine had a snowy white fur, short pointy ears, a lustrous black snout, two black tiny eyes presently focused on the group of humans, and a little pink tongue happily flapping from the front of her mouth.

A short, awkward silence fell after that, only betrayed by the dog's constant panting. Both parties eyed eachother, trying to figure eachother out, or at least trying to be the last being standing in this unspoken non-blinking match. You could cut through that atmosphere with a knife. Well, maybe with the Toy Knife, because it wasn't THAT thick. In fact, it vanished the moment the monster blinked, granting victory to the humans.

"And Team Loud wins again !" cheered Lynn, quite competent in making a win of a staring contest sounds like she had just won the national wrestling championships.

The sudden movement rung the right bells inside the monster's mind, who suddenly remembered why she had been sent here in the first place. She had a much tougher battle to deal with ! She retracted her tongue and let out a tiny growl, which was from menacing, but certainly made the humans jump a couple of inches off the ground.

"Just peachy, you've made it mad." groaned Lola, though she had no idea how to interpret the smiley face it still had.

With a small howl, the dog pounced forward, forcing the humans to scramble back, and leaving them to fully view what their new assailant looked like. Like Doggo, she looked to be an antropomorphic dog, standing on her two hind legs like a human, but was a bit shorter than him, standing around Lori's height. The entirety of her viewable fur was as white as her head, completed with a bushy white tail. But though Doggo had more of the aura of a guard, this dog monster had the proper equippement : A grey set of metal armour covering her body from shoulders to knees, a long white sword in her left paw, and a large purple shield in her right paw, with the perpetual strange winged dot and trio of triangles carved on it.

She jabbed the sword forward challengingly, and took her combat stance, tongue out of her maw, and the fighting glint in her small black eye summoning the Louds' colourful SOULs.

*"Lesser Dog happily appears !"

Fight engaged !

The kids readied themselves for battle, or rather for dodging. The monster they were facing seemed innocent enough, but that didn't mean they couldn't strike hard. Doggo, bumbling-looking at first, had certainly proved that. Of course, the sibling pack engaged their turn with the usual Check.

*"Lesser Dog. ATK 12, DEF 2. Will always stick out her neck for you. Her stone 'dogger' is made of pome-granite, a great conductor for offensive magic. Happy as she may look, and be, this guard has some tricks up her fluffy sleeves."

"Aww, it's a girl !" gushed Leni, sharing the fond look most of the sibs were now giving to the white fur ball of excitement. Every twitch of her ears had become reason enough for a series of ushed squeals to be uttered, as well as some murmuring about her share adorableness.

By adopting that mindset, the wise advice in the Check had been ignored. And it almost cost the kids the realisation of Lesser Dog preparing herself to attack. Thankfully, her way of attacking was large and blatant enough to catch their attention.

She began by sending her shield up in the air, so high that it seemed to near the ceiling of the grand cave. Lesser Dog then grasped her 'dogger' with both paws, and focused her energy into it, making the blade glow with magic. When she separated her arms, there was now a sword of the same size in each paw ; white in her left, light blue in her right.

"Magic fission." whispered Lisa in shock. "A power like this is supposed to be detained by powerful magic users only..."

"Does that mean we're in trouble ?" nervously asked Lincoln.

"You'll be if you keep talking ! Watch out !" Lynn warned of Lesser Dog's first move. The bipedal canine swung her blue sword first, making the Louds nail their shoes into the snowy floor. But it was right as its edge finished giving Lucy a faint tingling in her left arm, that the alabaster one came with a vengeance upon the Goth, and quickly moved for the others. Lily escaped its wrath by being lifted in the air, while Lincoln, Lana, and Luan just had the time to duck under it. But every other girl wasn't so lucky, and received minor cuts to their sides, as well as the delepting of 3 HP from their life bars.

Lesser Dog ended her assault with a skilful twirl, the disappearance of her blue sword – its energy returning inside the white one's blade – and the perfect catch of her falling shield. If she hadn't needed to keep herself on the ready, there was no doubt the monster guard would have sat down, and puffed her chest with pride.

"Okay, that sack of bones wasn't lying. Those dogs have good training." said Lynn, rubbing her new wound in the right arm. "And I just had it healed up..." she mumbled to herself.

"Agreed, you could say she is no underdog !" jested Luan, doing another limbo pose to dodge the jeering snowballs chucked at her.

"I'm gonna have to stitch my coat all back together if this keep going." sadly observed Leni, looking at the couple of gaps already inflicted to her seasonal outfit. She turned to adress a pouty glare to the monster, but couldn't keep up the mask for too long. "Aww, her happy face is still the cutest thing ever !"

Lola grunted, "Leni, don't you see that she's trying to... to..." she trailed on, looking at Lesser Dog's features beaming with happy innocence, and soon broke into a won over smile. "D'aww, why does she have to be so adorable ?!"

"To soften your spirit, so she can ram her sword into it ?" bluntly answered Lucy. Her siblings gave her grossed-out looks. "What ? She asked."

"Suuure..." drawled Lori, suddenly reminded of the reason why she would never let Lucy bunk with her. She always feared to wake up in the middle of a séance, with her raven-haired sister trying to loan her body to some random demon for an hour or two. Not that she believed in those facetiae.

...Then again, there was Daisy the Demented.

But with a shake of her head, she focused herself back on the task at hand. "Okay, what can we do to get her to let go of that huge, very sharp sword ?" A small arm rose from the crowd, and it was immediately identified by the dark blue glove at the end of it. "Lana ?"

"We should just go and pet it !" earnestly suggested Lana, giving a bright smile.

Her siblings looked in Lesser Dog's direction. The canine proceeded to slowly, slowly lick the blade of her sword, letting pearls of drool rolling down the metal piece, while keeping her reflectless pupils focused on the humans. In those peepers, they were seeing something new. A lust, a hunger for more, making them feel very unsettled, and prompting a collective *gulp* of fear.

None of them would ever know that she was simply licking off a spot of delicious meat grease, that she had accidentally dropped on her blade during her last lunch break.

Weapons had to be immaculate at all time ! That's what the Captain would say !

"Uhh, I think we should hold on the petting for a turn or two." said Lincoln with a nervous smile.

Lana practically gawked at the nervous nods around her. Not petting a dog with that face ? What insane idiom were her sisters and brother speaking ?! "But look at her ! She's pratically begging for attention !" she angrily chided.

"Lan's, we ain't saying you shouldn't ruffle that pup's fur." appeased Luna, with cringe still plaguing her voice. "But y'know, maybe cool down her flow a bit before that ? And make sure she doesn't use that huge sword at point blank."

Lana wanted to vehemently argue back, but saw reason in her sister's own argument. She knew from experience how excited dogs reacted at the prospect of someone wanting to play with them, jumping on the poor sap's shoulders and intiate the fun early. Mainly because it was her default reaction too. 'And' Lana asked herself, 'if the dog has a sword, what's the likely result ?'

She stopped her mind work before she could cross the fine line of imagination, and accepted the reasoning, no matter how recluant she was about it. "Fine..." she mumbled, throwing her hands in her coat pockets. Greatful for her understanding, Luna patted her little sister's head.

"What can we do to distract her then ?" said Lola. She quickly snapped her fingers, "What about food ? Charles will do pretty much anything for a treat !"

"Not a bad idea, if not for the lack of a crucial element. We are not in possession of any substenance to use as bait." reasonned Lisa.

"Um, actually..." began Lincoln.

"NO ! Ban that thought from your head immediately !" ordered the prodigy, pointing an accusotary finger like lawyers would do on TV.

"What ? What did he say ?" asked Lynn.

"Our brother unit was about to suggest that we should use the scrumptious last gift of our Goat Mother to make our adversary docile !"

The sisters let out shocked gasps, and turned towards Lincoln, who shrunk under their astonished looks. "W-What ? Just a little bit. It's food, isn't it ?" he stammered.

"How can you even think that's a viable option ?!"

"The Pie is our truth, bro !"

"Not like lying cakes. Hehe, get it ?"

"Yeah, it's like if you were selling Goat Mom for your freedom !"

That last comment urged the peacemaker to rebuke. "Oh come on ! Why do you have to blow everything out of proportion ?! It's always the same thing with you guys !"

Another verbal argument amorced itself between the siblings, the ten-against-one soon turning into an all-way dispute and light slappy matches, under Lesser Dog's happily oblivious eyes, who considered herself lucky to be there to witness how humans played with eachother.

Oh, the one with a red cap was jumping onto the face of the one with metal teeth ! So majestic...

Noticing that they were starting to cross the limit between humans and shrieking chimps, herself included, Lori sharply whistled for her siblings to stop their pointless brawl. "GUYS ! I know we've just spent an hour resting, but we are supposed to use that energy to get out of this Fight, not to litteraly start another !" Her expression turned deadpan. "Lana, why do you have Luan's ponytail in your mouth ?"

"'Fi mabe a voke aboup frogv. Ah vwarned 'er !" the little tomboy defended herself.

"You should spit out my ponytail first. It's kinda hard to hair you ! Haha-OW !" Luan yelped as she felt Lana renewing her chomping. "Note to self, avoid jokes when the one you're telling it has part of your body inside their mouth."

Lori shook her head, and took Lana down from the pained comedienne's shoulders. As she did, an idea came to her, filling her with glee, and Lana's face with the snow she crashed headfirst into. "All we need is food, right ? Well, I can safely say, pie isn't going to be on the menu. Instead..." she rummaged through her bag, "...let's try a donut !"

"Of course !" Lincoln slapped his forehead as he saw Lori's Donut Piece. "You and Lily didn't eat your pieces ! This is just what we need !"

"Is it though ?" quipped a skeptical Lucy. "Dogs are a little more on the meat side, than on the sweet."

"But dogs also nab every piece of chow that falls on the floor. Even when it's not really food." said Lynn, giving her sister-in-SOUL a teasing grin. "Not just dogs, also little girls who can't wait for Dad's world-renowned Lasagna, and can't tell the difference between a chunk of meat and a can of tomato sauce."

Lana whacked her sportive sis' back with her hat. She didn't need a reminder of how she lost her first tooth, looking in the mirror every morning was enough of that !

"Sounds good to me !" cheerfully said Lincoln, as he pressed the ACT button, and chose its next option, Bait. Lori lost no time in revealing the pastry piece to the canine guard, though she first had to give Lily to Leni so the tot wouldn't snatch it for her own snack.

"Hey, Lessie Lessie. Look what we've got for you~" sing-sang Lori seductively, inwardly cringing at the fact she was picking up Sans' nicknaming habit. She had the attention of the monster in a heartbeat, her tail starting to wag with excitement. "If you want the treat, then put the weapons down. Only good guard dogs get treats."

Oh boy, oh boy ! They said they had a treat, oh boy ! Lesser Dog's eyes were following the grey sugary piece like it had nylon strings attached to them. It looked so good, so very good ! But wait, wasn't she supposed to be doing something important ? What was it that human said ? 'Only good guard-'

*Internal dog gasp* Of course ! She was on duty ! And treats weren't allowed on duty ! Especially against humans ! Lesser Dog remembered the wise words of her dear Captain !

"If the snow isn't white, don't lick it, darn it !"

Wait no, the other wise words.

"Ngaaah ! Humans aren't just strong, they can also be tricky ! They'll tempt you with anything, like food, or gifts, or crystal balls to make your wishes come true ! But the moment you'll lower your guard, they'll run like the cowards they are, or maybe even stab you in the fur !'

Lesser dog was aghast ! Shocked ! Confused ! Hungry ! And aghast some more ! Well, they weren't about to make a sucker out of her. Lesser Dog made her disinterest known by folding her ears back, and turning her nose up in disdain.

*"Lesser Dog is not pleased with your meager offering."

"Well, so much for that plan." deflated Lynn.

"This seems to confirm that our adversary is more brain-gifted than the usual Canis familiaris." quipped Lisa. "After all, she did just do a sword demonstration that would put D'Artagnan to shame."

"Furry dudette's got her priorities straight. Guard first, lunch later. They train them very well." nodded Luna.

"Hold on guys, look ! It looks like it's working again !" called Luan.

Lesser Dog was sniffing the air with great ardour. What was that smell ? It smelled sugary. It smelled... divine. Like someone had taken some of the share goodness of the world and had turned it into a dessert. Lesser was on more alert than ever. Where was that delicate aroma coming from ?! It was all her mind could process at the moment, flinging every other notion of reality under the rug.

Rug... nap on the rug ? That sounded nice. Very nice.

But that smell was nicer, she had to stay focused ! Her nasal radar was making a covering of the zone at impressive speeds, zooming closer and closer to the source, until at last, she spotted it. The open backpack on the human's shoulders. The prize was inside. But the Captain's words rung to her ears again. She couldn't get near, or they would try and get the drop on her. Maybe pull on her fur, or spray her nose with water ! Shady humans.

But she had an idea ! All she had to do was to use something or someone else to retrieve the divine-scented treat. And she knew the trick to do just that.

Lesser Dog let out a small howl, and brandished her sword in the air. Feeling her SOUL and body getting lighter, Lori, still the closest to the monster, readied herself for the attack, as did the others behind her. She watched as white particles, oddly fluffy ones, escaped the gleaming magic blade, and slowly fused together themselves into a form.

Four paws, two pointy ears, a short tail, and a pointy snout. Little doubt here, it was a dog ! And even lesser doubtful, was the little white dog's identity.

"Y-You ?" stuttered Lori in surprise. Those goofy, yet mysterious eyes did not lie.

"It's the Pie-snatcher !" yelled Luna in high alert. "Code white, code white ! This is not a drill ! I repeat, this is the real deal, dudes !"

"Like, protect the goods !" cried Leni. In her arms, Lily was making a blaring sound akin to the one of a blaring military alarm. Little panic swept over the Loud ranks, for they had faced the emergency before. Many slices of sugary goodness had been lost to the cute canine menace, but they knew how to react now. Backpacks were immediately sealed, the locks all clipping shut at the same time, plus the two additional ones Lisa had installed on her bag. Lana was a little more crude, closing her teeth on the top of her bag, and growling like a hot-blooded little hound defending her home.

But all the leather ramparts hadn't been risen yet. The main door to the prize had still been left open, and the furred thief was not about to let it close on his muzzle. With a little adorable war yip, the annoying pup gamboled towards Lori like a fuzzy white arrow.

"Oh no you don't." said the blonde leader, as she took a quick step to the right, making the little dog completely miss her. Its strike had been effortlessly avoided. Or so it wanted it to appear. In position behind the human, the dog used the momentum of its course to rear up on its hind legs with such speed, that they completely left the ground.

"Whaaaat theeeeee..." said Lori in slow motion, as it was how it felt to see the dog doing a graceful backflip. And then another. And a third one. And finally, it arched itself for landing, descending face-first into Lori's backpack. But it seemed that his previous larcenies were coming back to bite the thief in the butt, as the hips surrounding it were too large to fully make it inside the bag, leaving the lower half of his body exposed.

"We've got a breach in the perimeter ! The enemy has made it inside Lori's bag !" reported Lincoln.

"What would we ever do without you, Captain Linc-Obvious ?!" Lori curtly replied, as she quickly removed her backpack from her shoulders. "Hey buster ! Toriel's house was off-limits, and so are the bags she bought ! So if you think-YEOWCH !" Lori removed her slightly singed hand from the dog's slightly glowing kicking legs. The yellow of her HP bar receded of two more ounces. Lori was thoroughly unamused by this turn of events. "Oh that's just brilliant. His white fur is considered an attack. I can't get him out !"

The Louds gasped at this, with Lily being the most agitated. Her slice was in there too ! And all she could do was to stare helplessly, while the cunning canine devoured it as it pleased ? Why was the world so cruel ?!

Seeing her baby sister's eyes tearing up, Lisa's brain kicked in high gear to come up with a light-speed quick solution. The glow of her courageous sister's SOUL against her worn glove gave her just that. "Lynn, I think it's time you prove Lori that letting you keep the glove was no misguided decision !"

Lynn was confused at first, but immediately understood the plan. She called the twins to follow her, and she firmly took a hold on the little tail, while they grabbed the bag's handles. Lisa's unspoken theory proved to be true, as Lynn's hand didn't ache when she grazed the fur. That was one Tough Glove ! (*Rimshot*)

She began repeating the words of her coach, "A firm grasp. Make the legs work, not the back. And, pull !" She did exactly that, with everything she had. The dog offered iron resistance, but that had never stopped her before. Before she knew it, the dog flied out of the bag, plopping in the snow on its back. "Yee-hah ! And she does it again, ladies and gents !" celebrated Lynn. The party quickly died down however, when she saw the dog getting back on its feet. But it wasn't the pup itself that was making her freeze. It was what was covering his face at the moment. "Oh, wow..." she said with rosying cheeks.

Lesser Dog was confused. Very confused. There was no doubt that what her tracker had found was not the heavenly-scented snack. In fact, it looked like nothing to what a dessert was supposed to look like. The best it had going for it was its triangular form, like a slice of cake. But what strange human artefact had it collected then ?

Giving it a good look, it appeared to be some sort of... hat ? It fit the little dog's head like a glove, and had two big holes for both ears and eyes. A human helmet, perhaps ? Could those humans be fellow guards ? But it had very big design flaws for a helmet. Why, it was made of fabric, and not even resistant-looking one. How could it whistand enemy's assaults, when it was certain that it would fly off the head of the wearer the moment they would go from walk speed to light jog ?

But maybe it was some sort of sacred hat. A relic of old, either holding a hidden magic, or acted as a powerful symbol for humanity. Perhaps the little face on it was as sacred to them, as was the Angel of the Prophecy on her shield to monsters. Yes, that had to be it. Why else would the tallest human be so eager to get it back ?

"GIMMETHATRIGHTNOWYOUMUTT !" shrilled Lori, her face a blazing scarlet to the tip of her ears. Her hand swiped the 'hat' so fast, it didn't even register her hand grazing the dog's fur, who didn't even flinch. She then proceeded to punch the frilly triangle in the bottom of her bag, with a fervour that had Lynn staring in awe, zipped it close, and wrapped it in a barb wired clutch. She wanted nothing more than to give the pie-snatcher a piece of something else, but as per usual, the moment she turned to look at it, it was long gone, with no paw prints to trace his trail.

A very awkward silence fell afterwards. Teasing was common event in the Loud House, but they were subjects that were more difficult to make fun of than others. The theme, the environnement, and the type of siblings witnessing the gaff were the three main components to weigh that decision. And while they were in a foreign land, with no one else than a couple of obliviously happy dogs to have witnessed it, the mishap itself was leaving the girls feeling almost as awkward as their eldest on one side, and Lincoln almost wishing to clean his brain with bleach on the other.

It was Luna who collected the guts to break the awkward iceberg forming. "Whew, that wild, huh ? Hehe, heh..." She obviously wasn't doing the best job at it. Pulling on her collar, she tried to continue. "So... how'd you get Bobby's face to-"

"If any of you give even the blurred picture of the shadow of a hint of what just happened at any point in time, I promise that person a very well-crafted, very personal retaliation, that will scald their bodies, minds, and SOULs for every waking moment of the rest of their life." articulated Lori, each word feeling like a stalactite forming on their goosebumped skin, with the two biggest being the ones shot at them by their sister's somewhat glowing glare of doom. Lori's hot rage was already something to cower away from, but her icy wrath was way worst. "Nothing happened here. Understand ?"

"Aye !" fearfully saluted the siblings at once.

"What happened ?"

"Nothing happened !"

"Good." Lori gave a long and deep exhale to both cool and warm her mind. She just wanted to erase this incident from her very mind, and for that, she had to make sure she wouldn't ever be reminded of it. What happened in the Underground, stayed in the Underground. She took Lily back in her arms, who cooed innocently, unaware of what the fuss was about. Lori gently smooched the top of her hooded head, and turned to her siblings with a fresher mind. "Okay, we're done with that, let's get back to the matter at hand."

"That dog's stubborn. Maybe we should try tiring her out by playing with her ? It usually works with Lana." said Lynn.

"Or we could appeal to her ear ! One little lullaby, and she'll be out like a light." proposed Luna, whipping out her trusty harmonica.

"What about some fashion tips ? Maybe all she wants is to be the prettiest dog on the playground !" chirped Leni, her mind swept away by thoughts of dog romance. Dog marriages were a thing down here, after all.

"I don't think she really cares about fashion." replied Lincoln, perhaps a tad too blunt. His mind was just straining to pour cement on the memory of... that.

"Well, she has armour, doesn't she ?" Leni puffed up her cheeks.

"Huh. Fair point." shrugged Lincoln. "Let's take a look at the ACT panel, and we'll decide once we see the options." But as he was about to touch it, he noticed little thin white particles peeking out from the vivid orange and black of the ACT button. The boy's mind was immediately taken back to the state of his bed during Spring. "Is that dog fur ?" he asked.

"That little thief shedded on our stuff !" said Lola, outraged. "That's it ! If I get my hands on that little rat, I'm scalping him !"

"He may be small, but that's a very big 'if' to go through." quipped Lucy, checking her cape for any white hair to spot. Death didn't have a slip of toilet paper stuck to its robes when it came to collect souls, so Lucy would not have any shedding from an Annoying Dog.

"Well, it's already there." shrugged Lincoln, pressing the button anyway. But when the panel deployed itself, it began flickering, like an old TV trying to get the right reception. And it became worse when he chose Lesser Dog's name. A low dog-sounding whine emanated from it, and the letters of the Check option were glitching all over the place. "What the huh ?" said Lincoln in disarray, and what happened next didn't quell that feeling. A Pet option, wih a paw print at the word's left instead of the usual star (*).

Then another appeared. And another. And another. Then two others. Then three, and so on. Before they knew it, the Loud kids were facing dozens of Pet options, each more demanding than the last. Only Lana could clearly interpret what was going on.

"I told you that's all she wanted was to be petted." 'tsked' the little animal expert. "But did you listen ? No~, no one ever listens to the handygirl."

The Louds stared at their feet or rubbed the back of their necks with slight guilt. If the reason didn't have ties to her prim and pretty twin, then a moody Lana was pretty damning for whoever she was cross with.

Lincoln made the first step, in more sense than one, to try to amend their deed. "Sorry, Lana. It's just, the big sword, and..." Lincoln sighed, the little tomboy's gruff huff a big clue that this wasn't going well. "Um, do you wanna pet the dog now ?"

"I don't know, you tell me. Do I ?" she retorted coolly.

"You most certainly do." dryly replied Lisa.

Lana held on her pout, strong and unforgiving. For about five seconds. "Dang it, I can't stay mad in those conditions ! Not with that pettable face looking at me like that !" she stomped her foot, while meeting Lesser Dog's gaze, who was gayly wondering what she would have for dinner tonight.

"You know what to do." said Luan wisely, putting her hands on Lana's shoulders. "Go to her."

Lana didn't need to be told twice, and strutted ahead, reaching Lesser Dog in a heartbeat. Lincoln pressed a random part of the panel, seeing as it was covered with the same option in different styles. So he settled for a nice and classy Rockwell.

"Hey there, lady. You look like you could use some chest scratchies." said Lana. Lesser Dog visibly brightened up at those words, panting a little more excitedly. Lana giggled, and began lifting her hand. "Well, I'm all up for-"

*Floof !*

Lana took a surprised step back when she saw Lesser Dog's fur shifting before she could touch it. Not only that, but Lesser Dog appeared taller, everything below her neck hadn't budged or changed. The muddy child turned at her siblings, and saw in their expressions that she hadn't been the only to see that. Lincoln's narration made the thing all the more cryptic.

*"Without even touching her, you've already got Lesser Dog excited."

"...We need a second test." concluded Lisa, feeling her SOUL heating up with the desire to know more about this highly-illogical phenomenon.

The ACT button was pressed, and Lesser Dog's array of options... well, option, consisted of one big PET. Lincoln squinted his eyes at it, "I think we've just ended up in a joke battle."

Luan gave a hearty chuckle at this. "Hohoho, Lincoln. I think I would know if we were in a joke battle. But you don't see me deliver punchlines, and nobody is getting a kick out of this. Ergo, it canine be it !" she laughed, ending with the obligatory "Get it ?".

"No. I mean, yes, I get the joke, but that's not what I meant. See, in more goofy RPGs, you'll sometimes come across a fight where the controls are broken on purpose. Once you've got to that stage, you're basically in the clear."

"Kinda like with that nice Roach guy at the end ?" quipped Leni.

"Kinda. But those usually are time-wasters, making you toy with a single button to see if anything different happens. Let's see here..." Lincoln pressed the sole option, and made a sign to Lana to repeat her action. Lana, about to do it anyway, obliged, this time reaching for Lesser Dog's chest. She began stroking her fur, finding it as soft as wool, a sign that she was quite young.

*Floof !*

*"Lesser Dog's excitement only grows."

She was indeed excited, and her neck had indeed grown six inches again. Scratchies felt so good, so empowering ! She felt so valued, so appreciated, so rewarded for what she had done, and even what she hadn't done ! This was a thrill she never wanted to stop !

But wait, if the humans were giving the petting, what did that mean ? What did the Captain say about that again ?

"If the humans try to render you docile with pets, you've gotta shake it o-o-o-o-f-fff_(çé2431PIE_IS_dlmTRUTH-"

Dang it, she was losing reception ! Her ears began turning like satellite dishes, making garbling radio sounds, until she found the signal again.

"If the humans try to render you docile with pets, roll on your back, and let the affection fiesta begin ! WOOO, PET PARTY !"

Now that's what she wanted to hear ! Lesser Dog surprised the little blonde when she let go of her sword and shield, and plopped down on her butt, bridging the gap between her long neck and the hand supposed to stroke it.

"Aww, you want some more ? Do you ?" cooed Lana, feeling right in her element. Lesser Dog's tail was wagging with joy as she eagerly nodded her head. "Well, since you asked nicely." chuckled Lana, resuming her petting.

"Wait, we haven't picked any option !" warned Lincoln, knowing how cheaters were dealt with in some games, and wasn't too eager to know the punishment in real life.

*Floof !*

"I don't think that's going to be an issue." remarked Lori, peeking from over his head. "Looks like someone switched option choice on automatic."

Automatic was the right word, with the bold-lettered PET selected without any digit even grazing the choice panel. Lola whistled in wonder, "This thing has an automatic function ? This is going to make those fights way easier !"

*Floof !*

"Don't count too much on it." Lincoln rained on Lola's parade. "I'm pretty sure that's a one-battle event. Still, this whole thing is supposed to be linked to us, to our SOULs." mulled Lincoln with a thoughtful scratch of his chin. "What did that dog do to it, and how ?"

*Floof-ity floof !*

"Hold on that thought, because I think there's more weird stuff we need to stick our necks out for. Get it ?" chortled Luan.

*"Lesser Dog feels like it's the best day of her life."

"Guys, this is just awesome !" chirped Lana, observing the small fluffy neck tower that had become Lesser Dog. Her head had already ascended a dozen of feet, and she looked very eager to break that record in the next second. "The more I scratch, the more there is to scratch ! I've gone to pet heaven !"

"Someone's gonna reach the real one if you keep goin', little dudette." whistled Luna.

"And that's not all she's got, look ! The cute dog's name is yellow !" Leni joyously added.

"Great job, Lana." commended Lori. "Well, that's a wrap everyone. Lincoln, would you like to do the honors ?"

"You bet !" Lincoln saluted back, pressing the MERCY button. But before he could choose the fight-terminating option, a gloved hand stopped his own mid-air.

"Hold on, everybody ! We can't stop the fight just yet !" Lana flailed her arms in panic.

"Uh, hello ? She's disarmed, pacified, and her name's yellow. I'm pretty sure that means the battle is over." said Lola dismissively.

"B-B-But I've barely pet her ! And she looks like she wants so much more !" Lana gestured towards Lesser Dog's face, who upon being designated, traded her happy panting for a folding of her ears and a small demanding whine. Even her flailing tail, already at light-breeze speed, seemed to be begging for further affection.

The Louds felt their heartstrings being pulled, and opened their eyes wide with pity, save for Lucy, who "sighed" at the actual feeling she was having. That sneaky dog and her pillow-soft fur were bewitching her and making her go, well, soft.

A spark of reclutance appeared in Lori's look. She tried to fight the feeling, arguing to herself that they had wasted enough time already. For all they knew, it could already be night, and despite their power nap, it wouldn't be long before the youngest of their group would run out of juice, and make future monster skirmishes a great deal harder. But those eyes. Those innocent, SOUL-petting eyes. She understood that she would be the monster to refuse her a pet or two. It was Watterson all over again, except the peepers were visible this time around.

"Oh, alright." conceded Lori, rising delighted cheers out of the others. "But let's not take too long, alright ? We've litteraly lost enough time already."

"Pshh, it's just petting a dog, Lori." chuckled Lynn dismissively. "How long can that take ?"

---

{*Read with a heavy french accent*}

Fifteen minutes later...

"I NEVER WANT THIS TO END !" whooped the brunette at the top of her lungs.

"Motion seconded !" agreed Lola, exhilirated despite her hair being blasted backwards by the rush of wind smacking her face.

"The Milkshaker and the Creamer-Express have nothing on this !" laughed Lana, letting her tongue flow freely in the cold gale.

*You may all have serious issues.

"We're crazy, alright ! Crazy for more !" thrived Lincoln, a hand on the top of his hat, and no care to give to the disdainful eye roll he could feel being dished out at him from the back of his mind.

After minutes of regular fur scratching, the kids had come to gripes that their canine ex-enemy's neck had no end, and would never stop growing, as long as someone kept giving her affection. Out of all the remaining petting options, the foursome had chosen none of them, and invented their own : Riding Lesser Dog's neck like a rollercoaster, petting her all the while. The tracks were already long, going up and down, left and right, but never leaving the area they were in. Lesser Dog looked to be having as much fun as them.

On the ground, the petting was just as passionate. Luna was mimicking an intense solo on the back of the neck tower, and only she could hear the music coming out of it. For the first time, and unknown to the world, Luna Loud had pulled out the first successful fur guitar riff. Leni had her ungloved hands on the front of the neck, reveling in the softness and giggling at the tingling spreading along her palms. She didn't even noticed the small lighting bolt she shot to the ceiling when she raised her hands for a second.

Lori had decided to give the dog some pizzazz by embilishing her back paws, petting her thighs while she did. The clipping done for a while, she was now attacking the second coat of nail varnish. Lily was up front too, playing patty cake with Lesser Dog. The first to miss one of the steps got to pet the other. Simple rules, and a win/win for both parties either way. Lucy was sat against the cold armour, getting inspiration for a poem. Here's an exclusive peek at it :

Neck, you grow.

But where do you go ?

An infinite white row,

that cannot be left alone.

If the petting stops so,

Back it will row.

Awaiting the next paw,

That will give it tone.

Despite the grimness she was pouring on her page, the little Goth caved in petting Lesser Dog's neck. Werewolves were in her good books after all. Or at least, that was the excuse she kept giving herself.

Carrot stick, she's looking that way ! Change camera, change camera !

And finally, there was Lisa standing at Lesser Dog's tail level, for which she was having a passionate scientific fascination for. With each pet, the speed of the tail's whipping lightly increased. And with eleven humans stroking her, the tail had picked up enough speed to push every speck of snow near it aside, and then some, producing enough velocity to make a mini trench in the powder.

"This is prodigious ! Given the right tools, this could be the solution to clean energy ! Petting energy, it'll win the hearts of the people in a jiffy ! I must patent this tail at once !"

Luna raised an eyebrow as she dropped to a lower-pitched solo. "You're gonna patent a dog ?"

"We're already deep in madness, why stop when it's getting profitable ?" Lisa drummed her fingers with her creepy chesire smile, the one that she would wear when asked if they had heard her right about them loaning her an apendix for the good of science.

Ironically, the only one who wasn't having fun at the moment, was the entertainer herself. Luan had had her fill of pets and dog jokes, and now her glee had changed into regret as she gazed at the wild white locomotive and its passengers. They looked like they were having so much fun. Luan sighed gloomily, but quietly enough for the others not to hear her. She was no sad clown, and didn't need to be portrayed as one.

But she didn't go completely unheard.

"why the long face, o loony buddy ?"

Luan sprung up in shock, and instead of the usual mop of black hair, she spotted a calm blue jacket and a permanently carved bony smile, that likewise tugged her lips upwards. "Oh, hey Sans. Say, I didn't hear you coming, you sneaky skeleton." she jokingly admonished.

"heh, one of the perks of just being a sack of bones; not a whole lot of flesh to weigh you down." shrugged Sans.

Luan squinted her eyes in amusement. "I don't think I can really stomach that theory, 'cause I see a big bump right there that would like to disagree." she said, giving the skeleton's belly a light poke.

"hey, i'm not fat." Sans winked towards the camera. "i'm just... big-boned."

(*Rimshot*)

Having walked right into that one, Luan gave a raucoutious bout of laughter, chasing the regretful ghost away from her peppy spirit.

"my lack of morning jogs aside, you still haven't answered the question. what's got you looking like it's monday ? especially on a wednesday."

And, he was back for seconds. Luan's expression significantly drooped. "I missed an opportunity, and now I'm kicking stones about it."

"you wanted your face to be licked ?"

"Eww, no !" giggled Luan, before sighing once again. "My brother and sisters boarded the yip train, and I didn't follow immediately. Once I realised how great the idea really was, it was too late. It went right over my head, and it's still going while I'm left on my dogs at the station."

"i can see that. the ride i mean. you've got lassie over there pretty excited." whistled Sans at the loops, swings, and oncoming torticolis that were Lesser Dog's ever-expanding neck.

"And it might never happen again." concluded Luan in a forlorn tone.

Sans' grin turned sympathetic. A fellow pun-lover going blue, how could he not have pity in his SOUL ? Frostdrake's case had already taken its toll on the well-known Underground's comedian. So seeing this little spark being snuffed out so soon, that was something Sans wasn't about to let happen. Even if that meant nudging open a crack in his lid of secrets.

"hey now sunshine, don't give up so soon." said Sans, returning the poke from earlier in her sides, making her smile re-appear. Small and sad, but it was there. "tell you what, how about I give you a hand ?"

"Aren't you going to need it afterwards ?" was what Luan almost cracked, but washed up by hope, she settled for a soft "Really ?"

Sans flashed a thumbs up. "yup. all i'm asking ya is to close your eyes."

"That's not a weird demand at all." smirked the comedienne.

"go weird or go dim, sunshine. i'm good either way, but what about you ?" said Sans, inquisitively raising the edge of his eye socket.

Luan scratched her chin as though she was giving it a thought. But inwardly, she had made her mind before her compunion had even finished his question. Weirdo was pratically her middle name, gracefully bestowed to her by bullies in Elementary School, and which she had taken immense pleasure in waving it in their faces like it was a compliment to crush any feeling of satisfaction.

"Do your magic, Sans ! As long as it doesn't involve heart-breaking treachery. Get it ?" she jested.

"heh, good one. now, close your eyes. and no peeking."

Luan obeyed, coating her vision in darkness, and highering her other senses. Oh, she could still feel the Nice Cream's chocolate rolling off her tongue after all this time. It was a wonder why Adrien's business had not made it big yet ! Huh, were her gloves always that itchy ? Also, she just noticed Sans' smell. Grease, condiments, and a light stench of dirty laundry. It was laziness focused into a single odour. But she almost picked up a faint trace she couldn't quite place, but reminded her of Lisa's room for some reason.

But the sense that was being tickled in the weirdest manner had to be her hearing. At first, she simply heard a small pulsating sound, but it did nothing to overlap her siblings' cries of joy, the giggling of Lily being petted, or Luna shouting lyrics left, right and centre.

But soon, all those sounds were smothered by a deafeningly quiet buzzing. And through the silence, she heard something. It was the best she could describe it, something. She could almost place the sound as akin to one a modem from the 80's-90's would make, but it the garbling was even wilder, glitchier, and she could feel it coming from all directions at once. And yet, there was something intelligent in this noise, accurate, with a meaning and a mind.

On the verge of adaptating, her ears deciphired it. It wasn't garble, it was a language. But she didn't get to understand a word of it.

The snap of fingers rung. A *ping* echoed. The world around her shifted for an insant.

Her eyes blasted open, and so did the wind in her face. She was sitting just behind her brother, her legs perfectly wrapped around Lesser Dog's neck as though she had been there for hours. In her awe and intense confusion, she reached for her brother's shoulders for support, making Lincoln jump.

"Whu- Luan ?!" shouted the bewildered boy, catching the attention of the passengers in front of him.

"How did you get here ?" asked Lynn.

"Did Lucy lend you her freaky teleportation powers ?" theorised Lana. Down on the ground, Lucy's pencil broke in her crushing fist, without even a hint of annoyance crossing her features. She casually discarded it, and took another one out of her backpack.

Luan stayed silent for a moment, unsure if she should tell them what little she knew, or if she should keep it a secret to avoid further confusion. Lesser Dog's neck took another sharp turn, pumping the teen's thrill meter up to eleven, and making her toss the conundrum out of the window, without even opening it. "Who cares about that ?! This ride is awesome !"

"Good enough for me !" concurred Lola, and the foursome, plus one, went back to enjoying the ride in the loudest way they could. Inwardly, Luan gave Sans her deepest thanks.

"you're welcome, kiddo." chuckled Sans, hearing the gratitude somehow. He also felt he was being watched, and turned to find Lily looking at her with curiosity only a child that young could muster. Sans was unfazed, and brought two fingers over his inexistant lips with a small wink. Lily copied the motion, adding the shushing FX, and innocently went back to her activity. Unseen once again, Sans slipped out of the area. That nap wasn't going to take itself.

---

Fifteen more minutes trickled down the hourglass, and that was when the excitement began to die down. As soon as it did, a thought sprouted through Leni's mind, that made her gasp in horror. "OMGosh you guys, we're losing time here ! The night's coming, and worst of all, we're making Papy wait even more !"

Her shrill bout of enlightenment brought all eyes on her, even the monster's, and realisation spread like a plague. Schedules, may they be of a quest or of patrols, weren't being respected here, which only spelled trouble. Mutual agreement shone across the twelve pairs of eyes.

"Sorry big gal. It's been fun, but we've gotta go now." apologised Lincoln. Seemingly understanding their plight, Lesser Dog lowered her head to let the kids jump off her. Lincoln trudged towards the MERCY Button, and ended the fight.

*YOU WON ! (About time !) You've earned 0 EXP and 60 Gold.

Fight over.

The SOULs quickly reentered their owners' chests, but certainly not as quick as Lesser Dog's neck zipping back through its tracks like a well-oiled measuring tape, and forcing the Louds to duck from Lesser Dog's happy face whizing through the air. Her body did a somersault when reuniting with its head, and the guard made a perfect landing on her feet. She gathered her shield and dogger, but decided, before departing, to return the humans' kindness, with a mighty lick over their cheeks. Some giggled at it, others cringed in disgust, but nobody was more pleased than Lana, to whom Lesser Dog added extra nose nuzzling.

"Aww, yes you're a very good guard. Yes you are, yes you are." cooed Lana, as she ruffled and pressed Lesser Dog's furry cheeks together. The petting session finally adjourned, Lesser Dog bounded out of the area, crossing a large bridgeless gap with one swell swoop.

"Holy moly, check all that dough !" said Luna, balancing in her palm the very badly sewn, but very well-filled pouch Lesser Dog had left for them. "There's enough for four Nice Creams in there ! Or for every row of Prenium Seats at a KISS concert !"

"She gives us a ride AND she pays us for it ? Talk about a Loud's best friend !" guffawed Luan. "Get it ?"

Lori paid the joke no mind, and transferred the Gold to the Loud Bank. She watched the rising number with a certain glee, with every coin securing them a place for the night a little more. They already had a lot, but if a frozen treat was worth 15 Gold, then there was no such thing as having too much of it. Her deed done, she scooped Lily back in her arms, and was ready to proceed.

The area they were in had a dead end ahead, opposite to the way they came from, with only snow and dull rocks to give it even a semblance of personnality. The logical way was thus concluded to be the small path on the kids' right, meekly bridged to another small zone and a path to continue.

But of course, it couldn't be that easy. The access to the small wooden bridge was blocked by a row of spikes, making the Louds groan.

"You know the drill everyone. There's a puzzle around here somewhere, so let's get cracking." said Lori, starting the search for any rock they could lift in hope to find for a clue. Before she could start mulling about that 'Dog Marriage' sign from before, she noticed something odd with the snow behind her, a couple of feet away from the barricaded passage. "I know I'm about to sound litteraly stupid, but does that snow seem a bit... too white ?"

"That's not such a stupid thought." replied Lincoln earnestly, wincing a bit at his big sister's side-glare, not keen on anyone but herself calling her stupid. He poked the snow with his boot, and the spot easily parted, revealing a tiny part of a drawing. "Lana ? We could use some good digging over here."

"Already on it." said Lana, already digging through the blanket of snow like a hound trying to find the bone it had buried two weeks prior. In a matter of seconds, the inscription was revealed in broad daylight.

Lisa was just as fast to pour in her analysis of the black drawing. "Hmm, this looks like a map of some kind, of this very area, no doubt. Due to the crudeness of this drawing, it is safe to assume that this red 'X' marks the spot we need to investigate to continue. Yes, upper right corner, encircled by three objects."

"Like those three rocks !" finished Lynn, catching on. She made quick use of her well-trained legs, and reached the spot. "Right as always, pointdexter ! There's a hidden switch here !" She gave it a good twist, and the spikes retracted into the ground.

"Welp, that was easy !" chirped Luan.

"Yo, are those humans ?"

Jinxing them good.

The kids made a sudden about-turn upon hearing the chillax voice, and saw a mismatched group of monsters coming their way. They recognised one of them instantly, his long carrot nose and round bald head instantly sparking up the Louds' memories, especially a happy Lola's.

The tallest of the group also struck a familiar ressemblance to the bubbly jokester of the group, but after giving the bird another look, she knew this wasn't her good pupil. Instead of a cool blue plumage, the bird had vibrant green feathers, his grin was a good deal more assertive, and a big pair of shades had been thrown on the tip of his beak. Where Snowdrake had aim to please his audience, this odd cousin looked like he had no care in what said audience thought of him.

But despite the familiarity of the first and the attitude of the second, it's the third one that, strangely enough, had all the Louds' attention. Nothing special about the guy, his stout white body had the crude shape of a stereotypical UFO, with three curved little horns on the top. Two thin arms slithered on the sides of his horizontal body, and four twig-thick legs were somehow supporting the whole lot. He had two rectangular eyes, one on each end of his slime-looking face, both shifting from left to right and vice-versa in a blasé way. Two large nostrils were plastered on the dead center of his face, just above his M-shaped mouth and its bloated lips.

And, for some reason they just couldn't place, every sigh that was escaping through those lips every five seconds made waves of irascibility splash against the humans' minds. A sentiment that seemed to be shared with the two monsters, if the comfortable distance they were keeping with him was anything to go by.

"Yo Ice, looks like you weren't pullin' my leg." smoothly pursued Not-Snowdrake, giving Ice Cap a teasing wing jab, who accepted it without flinching. He then turned a slightly mischevious smirk in the Louds' direction. "It's so weird. They dress differently, yet they all look kinda the same. Down with comformism, yo !" he chanted, sending a feathered rock sign to the ceiling.

"Hey ! We do not look alike !" said the twins in perfect unison, not really helping their case.

"He is not entirely wrong, why with our shared DNA due to our siblinghood." observed the bespectacled pre-schooler-yet-already-graduated-child. "But if anything, the sameness of our genes still giving such different results, may they be physical – Lincoln's alabaster hair, Lucy's ivory skin, the ephelides of some of us – or mental – self-explained here – is the best exemple of the wonderous diversity the human race as a whole-"

"NEEEEEERD !" finally shouted the bird monster. The sportaholic brunette shook her fist in defiance at him; nobody called her siblings names, and certainly not when she was just about to do it herself. Lisa directed her own smoldering glare at the monster. Being interrupted during one of her lectures was one of the problems she had sought to use all her brain capacities to eradicate from this world, along with the energy crisis, and oatmeal raisin cookies. Or as she liked to call it, 'the greatest human fraud since the Sokal Hoax'.

"Urrrgh, can we go somewhere else ?" rose the nasally voice of the alien-ish monster, fiddling with the cellphone in his hand. "This place has no wi-fi. Sooo lame."

*Bop*

"OW !" yelped Luna, both in surprise and in pain. She quickly turned to the assailant of her innocent left row of ribs, with a most pointed look. "What the heck was that for ?!"

Lynn seemed just as shocked by her own action. "I-I'm so sorry, my fist just went off on its own ! I was just listening to that weird guy talking, and for some reason, it made me want to punch something really hard."

"I know, right ?" said Leni, of all people. "I don't know why, but I just felt super mad for a moment. I wanted to sew someone's mouth close, then bash their head with a model prop !" she exclaimed, feeling a little scared of those violent thoughts popping into her head.

"And I wanted to bite someone, and shake 'em around like Charles' chew toy, before burying them under two layers of concrete." confessed Lana, feeling a bit woozy.

"Gabbah ! Bang bang !" Lily added to the mix, swinging her squeaky hammer around like a bearded Norwegian God.

The spreaded violent thought effect, Lincoln noticed, wasn't only restricted to human minds. Ice Cap's focused stare fell into a cringe, and the bird monster's smile looped itself into a grimace. They looked as uncomfortable as the Louds to be with this cringy, jerky, no-good pile of-

"Woah, keep it PG in there ! I don't even know half of those words !" exclaimed Lincoln to his ghost narrator, trying to cover the very explicit description of the origins of the monster, as well as the way it smelled. Which, to be honest, was pretty bad.

"Urgh, why did we even bring him here ?" said Ice Cap to the green teen.

"Dude, it's Jerry. Nobody brings that guy anywhere, he brings himself and never leaves." he whispered back to the little snowman. His expression lightened up with an idea. "Brah, I've got a plan. But we're gonna need help. Are you sure these humans can follow ?"

"I told you, they're super cool ! Especially the pink one..." said Ice Cap, awkwardly fiddling his stubs together. Noticing the meaningful eyebrow wriggling of his senior, he stomped his foot. "Look, do you have an escape plan, or not ? He's starting to open his bag of crisps !"

Despite his warm feathers, the bird monster shuddered. "Yeah, I can hear it. Okay, here's the laydown..."

"What are they mumbling about ?" said Lynn in high suspicion. "I don't like those sneaky little smirks they have."

"That's ridiculous ! Ice Cap's smile is great and adorable !" blurted out Lola, before her cheeks turned as pink as her coat. "Normal ! I meant normal !"

"That's not what I heard~" Lana said, with a playful smirk so toothy, Lola could feel it from the back of her skull. A dark frown immediately spreaded across its front.

"If you don't wipe that grin off your face in the next three seconds, I'll finish what nature started." was Lola's icy threat. Lana's lips immediately closed to protect her precious dentition, highly necessary for her daily consumption of sugar and other miscellaneous food she'd find stuck under the stairs.

"Well whatever they're talking about, let's hope they make it snappy. Hearing that guy eat his crisps is driving me nuts !" growled Lynn.

"Aw c'mon, don't let it get to you, sis." chirped Luan, joke hot on her tongue. "After all, you can't-"

*Crunch*

Luan blinked at the pealing sound of Jerry munching on his nacho-coated triangles. "As I was saying, you can't-"

*Crunch*

A frown appeared, and the faint sound of a boiling kettle could be heard. "You can't-"

*Crunch*

Luan was grinding her teeth with ferocity, and the whistling sound got louder. "You can't-"

*CRRRRUNCH*

"CLOSING YOUR MOUTH WHEN EATING IS NOT JUST A THING FANCY PEOPLE DO, YOU KNOW !" flared up Luan, as there were few better ways to mess with her nerves than to constantly interrupt her punchlines. Not content with being a rude annoyance, Jerry didn't even spare a glance in Luan's direction, and kept eating his crisps as loudly as possible.

It was when her roommate began advancing, with her hands bent into claws full of malice, that Luna intervened. "Whoa there, Grouchy Groucho. I know he's annoying as heck, but remember the first rule about haters." Luan's initial response was akin to a growling dobberman. In retaliation, Luna poked her broad forehead. "Loons', c'mon."

"...Haters be the real losers." Luan finally gave in.

Luna gently brushed her little sister's bronze hair. "'Atta girl."

With Luan quelled and the other humans desperately trying to ignore Jerry's lack of manners, that even Lana wrinkled her nose at, Ice Cap and the bird monster disbanded, having apparently agreed to a plan. The shade-wearing monster whipped around to face the humans.

"Usually, I don't follow the crowd. Chilldrake ain't no sheep, yo !" he pridefully threw another rock sign. "But hey, life's like a box of chocolates. You can't eat the same one every time, or soon you'll conform to it. Be wild ! Be an explorer ! Shake that chocolate box 'till it turns another flavour !"

"That makes no sense, and I'm pretty sure that's not how the saying goes." quipped Lori, clearly not impressed by Chilldrake's rebellious spirit. But the monster was too much of a rebel to register her naggy remark.

"So y'know what ? Let's battle !" announced Chilldrake. Lincoln almost expected a competitive chiptune to ring out after that. Instead, eleven coloured hearts were summoned forward.

Fight engaged !

*"Chilldrake and Ice Cap(less) appear ! Jerry is there too, being rude."

"It looks like our spirit companion is not fond of him either." acknowledged Lucy, in her usual monotone. "I agree. I feel the ember of contempt lighting up in my SOUL." As if to prove her poing, the yellow gleam of said SOUL fluctuated.

"Easy there, spookums." chuckled Lynn, patting her little sister's dark scalp. "You might bite him if you aren't careful."

"A battle ? Wow, can this get any more lame ?" complained Jerry in-between bites.

*Bop*

"Sorry !" said Lynn as Lucy fell like a log on the crunchy snow.

"Sigh."

"Okay, who should we Check first ?" asked Lincoln, feeling a little nervous. This was their first time facing three enemies at once, even though one of them didn't look like he wanted to fight. Yet here he was, rearing his little stubby fists.

"Hmm..." voiced Lori, weighing the options with acuity. Lily managed to steal her attention by giving her hair a light pull. "Do you have an idea, little missy ?" she mused. The tot replied in a blabbering manner, adding theatrics : A stretching of her pudgy cheeks, followed by a raspberry and smacking her hands against her eyes.

"A little rough, but she basically said, 'Let's do the one with the big face first, so we won't have to look into it later'." translated Luan.

"I couldn't agree more." said Lori. She knew she was coming as quite rude, but so was the infuriating crunching sound he was making. Seriously, how deep was that packet ?! "Lincoln, Check him."

"Aye-aye, Lori." nodded Lincoln, going for Jerry's name. He found himself strangely straining to approach his arm, and even more when he had to press the Check option. He didn't have to look far to find the culprit of that. 'Come on, what about that 'you gotta keep going' speech of this morning ?Do it for the team ! Don't be a baby !'

*...

The strain disappeared, the option was chosen, and the narration began, not without a vehement hint of irritation.

*"Jerry. ATK 0, DEF 30. Everybody knows Jerry. Not that they want to. Doesn't have an attack of his own, just makes the other attacks last longer. The basic type of action of a crummy little-"

The white-haired boy was quick to cover his mouth to stop the rather colourful lingo from flying out of his mouth. The muffled result thankfully didn't reach any good translation in his younger sisters' dictionaries, but the older ones certainly did, making their cheeks flare up. Once he was done, the red in Lincoln's eyes moved to his cheeks with great awkwardness.

"Could we forget I just said any of that ?" pleaded Lincoln. There was not enough soap in the world to wash off what he had just said.

"Curfew ? More like Cur-fail !" said Chilldrake out of the blue.

"..."

"KA-sigh." huffed Jerry.

"He's stealing my line." said Lucy, with a hint of aggravation and a slight will for violence. And when you knew Lucy, it was the equivalent of a war declaration.

Chilldrake began the turn by flapping his wings, sending rows of razor-sharp feathers in the Louds' direction. Unlike Snowdrake though, the feathers weren't flawlessly following the tracks, and purposefully poked from the sides to widen their range of attacks. They were going wild ! (*Rimshot*)

Ice Cap, unwilling, but out of his friendship with Chilldrake, added his mist attack, but much wider than usual. Still, it effectively reduced the kids' room for dodging about, and the thick mist made it quite hard to spot the human-thirsty feathers in advance.

As for Jerry, he just kept going through his bag of crisps, being rude and loud. And not the good kind of loud !

A deduction of 3 HP due to the feathers was made to Lisa, Lincoln, and Luan. Lana and Lucy were more lucky, with the accidental collision of their arms against Ice Cap's mist draining 2 HP away from them.

"Five out of eleven ? Wow, you guys really suck at this."

And Jerry's comments weren't making it any more fun, on whatever side.

*Whack*

*You feel like-

"If it's not helpful, I don't want to hear it." groaned Lincoln, as he rubbed his sore behind. Thankfully, he found no shape of Lynn's boot printed on his buttocks.

"Sorry." Lynn pitifully apologised, as she helped her brother back on his feet.

"It's okay. Years of being Lynn-sanity's go-to dummy for new wrestling moves kinda builds you a resistance against roughousing."Lincoln brushed off with a cocky grin.

"Hey, good to know. There's a few moves I've been dying to try out, but most of the boys at my school are all wusses. Glad to know you're not one of them." snickered Lynn, her dangerous smile making Lincoln's cockiness evaporate as fast as it had appeared.

*Your big mouth strikes again.

'Thanks, that really needed to be said.' Lincoln mumbled inwardly.

*You're welcome.

Lincoln facepalmed. Only Lincoln felt the pain. Lincoln felt pretty dumb. Moving on.

"Okay, that's one guy checked." said Lincoln. "Now let's go for another-"

"Hold on that thought, lil' bro. I think I'm pickin' up something." interrupted Luna.

"Picking up ? Like radio waves ?!" Leni excitedly clapped her hands. She then began fiddling with her sister's beanie. "Lemme see if I can get that super funky station Dad was listening to that one time !"

With an aggravated sigh, Luna swatted the blonde's hand away. "Not like that, dude. I'm talkin' about the signs Shady over there is makin' with his wings."

Her siblings looked at Chilldrake, and caught the discreet yet clear movement of the tips of his wings. Pointing at them, then at himself and Ice Cap, then mimicking letters, then a pair of feet walking away. Ice Cap aided in the endavour by casting quick glances at Jerry without turning his head, with the stout monster being none the wiser.

"'D'... 'I'... 'T'... 'C'- Oooh !" Luna struck her palm with her fist in realisation, and lowered her voice to a whisper, "Guys, they're asking help to ditch him."

"Let's do it." immediately struck Lori, getting a few odd looks for it. "No really, I have litterally no problem with leaving that guy behind all alone. Toriel would support me, I have not a single doubt about it."

"Are you sure she wouldn't be a little more Toriel-ant ?" jested Luan, before turning her peppy smile upside-down. "Wow, even I thought that was a bad one. Never mind, let's leave him."

The idea was met with almost unanimous agreement, save for a sole blonde who, in her rich green SOUL, felt that this was not quite moral. "Isn't that a little mean ? I mean, I know he's, like, rude and gross, but are we really that much better if we leave him behind ?"

"Your heart is in the right place, but I must disagree with you. I am rather impervious to showing emotion, especially around a total stranger, but I still grant them the a smidge of acknowledgement to carry on a conversation. Yet here, I can safely say that I feel no ounce of sympathy for this monster whatsoever." Lisa said, ever the blunt one.

"Yeah, he stinks big time. And that's usually a friendship criteria for me !" Lana gesticulated. "I can't help it, it's so weird. I usually don't shoot down someone on first impression."

"I do ! And I've never felt more compelled to do it than right now !" huffed Lola in the most earnest way possible. It's not like she was proud of it, and she had lowered her standards thanks to Goat Mom's advice and some mingling with young monsters back in the Ruins. But now, that irking feeling in her gut was back, more vehement than ever, and it screamed to follow Chilldrake's plan.

But though part of her agreed, greatly surprising herself, Leni had yet to be fully convinced. "All I'm saying, is that maybe we should be more com-pra-hensive. Besides, he's not all that gro-"

*Sluuuuuuurp*

Leni could feel every hair on her body standing on tense end. In fact, she could even feel every hair composing her long and sily hair doing the same, making it feel all tousled. Her hands, previously clasped into a collected manner, were now bent into stressful claws. And her expression had shifted from a hopeful smile, to the usual disgruntled reaction to the sound of a fork slowly squealing across a porcelain plate. Or in this case the sound of the tongue of a monster licking fingers coated in cheese powder.

All in all, the bubbly blonde looked like she had just been announced, on the dawn of a raveneous Shopping Day, that every Winter Sale had been sold off overnight during a special nocturnal event, including the pair of boots she had been drooling over for months. A bit of a stretched-out example, but the best reference her siblings could get to at the moment. And needless to say, it was a pretty worrying sight.

"Uh, Leni ? Are you okay ?" probbed Lana.

Leni dropped her cringing expression for a frown, followed by a flat "Okay, let's do it.".

"Um, are you sure ?" asked Lynn, a bit taken aback by the Lucy vibe she was getting here.

"Dead sure." Leni concluded.

"...Would you like to hold Lily for a moment ?" asked Lori.

"Yes. Yes I would." said Leni, her voice still as dry as a two month-old biscuit. She received the toddler, who began nuzzling her coat and babbling her name, and her features gradually softened.

Lincoln turned his attention from Leni to the ACT button, and opened the panel. As he imagined, the Ditch option appeared, waiting to be acted. The boy looked at his sisters, saw them do a synchronised nod, and adjourned the option. A white glint twinkled against the surface of eyes and shades, and the two monsters nodded back to the siblings.

"Hey, Jerry !" called Ice Cap.

"Huh ?" grunted Jerry, interrupting his loud finger-licking.

"There's a Free Wi-Fi spot over there !" said Chilldrake, dramatically pointing his wing behind the saucer-shaped monster.

Jerry turned around, gracing humans and monsters of his naked behind. Only Lily escaped the sight, due to Leni hiding the view, and sparing her of the strong feeling of nausea spreading all around her.

Jerry scanned the area for that precious spot, but after a minute of doing so – he REALLY wanted that wi-fi – he found none. "Heeey, there's no spot. There's no anything. What are you guys even talking about ?"

A blank silence answered him. Jerry turned back to see that he was now completely alone now. He whipped his gaze around, but only met snow and trees. And lacking manners he may be, Jerry also wasn't stupid.

"They left me behind ! SOME friends..." Jerry snorted in disdain. "Tch, who cares ? It was getting cold anyway." And with that he walked away, mumbling and grumbling under his breath.

"...Is he gone ?" asked Lola as she held the pose of an arrow pointing upwards while being on top of Lucy and Ice Cap, and Lynn at the bottom supporting the lot. This was one of the three human-monster sculptures that the thirteen kids had managed to form behind the three pine trees at the top left corner of the zone.

"I can't hear any slurping, and I don't feel annoyed anymore. So yeah, I'd say so." observed Lana with her youngest sister in her hands, and sitting atop of Lincoln, himself standing atop on Luan and Leni's hands.

"Cool ! It means we can stop doing... whatever it is we're pulling off." said Chilldrake, posing on the tip of his feet with his chest heavily bended forward, with Luna mirroring his pose. Perched on their hands, was the laying form of Lori, one leg in the air, head thrown backwards, and her arms lifting Lisa to the top of the tree. The little genius was standing on the tip of one foot, and had her backpack under her arm. "Seriously though, why are we looking like a friggin' fountain display ?"

"Dude, I have no clue." wheezed Luna, starting to feel a certain soreness down her back acting up. "What do you say we end the fancy posing, and switch to dogpile ?"

"That's a deal." And just like that, all pyramids toppled over. The thirteen youths looked at eachother, and began to laugh. To the two monsters, it was just a fun moment out of the blue, but for the Loud kids, it was how a good chunk of their convoluted and zany plans usually ended. And it was just great that way.

"We did it ! We beat the troll at his own game !" celebrated Lincoln. "Could've done it without the image at the end..."

"Looks like he made himself the butt of the joke !" cackled Luan, rising groans and shudders in remembering the nightmarish sight. Those effects seemed to be bouncing off Luan's spirit like balloons. "C'mon, I'm cracking up over here !"

"Enough ! We get it, he was naked !" hissed Lola, feeling like she wanted to hurl, but couldn't thanks to her stomach being empty of any proper consistance.

After this (un)pleasant levity, the pile disbanded, and the two fronts were quickly rebuilt. "Woo, there's no better feeling than getting Jerry to take a hike. Nice reflexes, humans." said Chilldrake, stretching his wings.

"Yeah... does that mean we're cool, and we can end the battle now ?" Lynn asked hopefully, looking at her SOUL still dangling in the air.

"Yeaaah, no." smirked Chilldrake. "Just because you've got an A in Gym doesn't mean you've bought my respect. I was told you were one cool bunch, and I wanna see more of that !"

"Can't we just talk about it ?" offered Leni, but didn't need a verbal answer, as the four option buttons reappeared before them. Leni quietly groaned; they had already lost so much time with their resting and Lesser Dog. Papyrus was waiting for them, for Pete's sake ! And she didn't want to be late for her wed- for the puzzle ! Which, if it could get to the level of awesomeness of the one who made it, would certainly be interesting...

"LENI ! Keep your head up instead of letting it lose in the clouds !" admonished Lisa.

"Oh Lisa, that's silly ! Everyone knows clouds are up in the- Eeek !" yelped Leni as she nearly dodged one of Chilldrake's attacks, making a tiny gash in her coat. Which to Leni, was almost as bad as getting hit.

Chilldrake's pattern this time was his 'remix' of Snowdrake's other attack. Single spinning feathers were coming from every side, but instead of getting to the humans' level and going in a straight line, the feathers were swooping down from the ceiling like shots from bombers. Not the easiest attack to dodge, but certainly made easier by Ice Cap's abstention. The little snowman observed the scene with a certain anxiousness, keeping his eyes on the posh blonde, and silently praying for her safety. When she made an skilful pirouette to dodge a couple of feather saws, making her long blond hair flutter in the air, Ice Cap could feel his little SOUL sway. Could a girl be anymore ravishing ?

"See ? I've warned you." lectured Lisa. Leni, the only one had gotten hit, rubbed the spot she had just been struck by with silent shame. Seeing this, Lisa let her smidge of guilt talk before it could distil itself across her vast mind. "Oh, don't be too hard on yourself; I have myself been hit by his precedent assault after all." she admitted. It was stroking Lisa's ego quite a bit, but it still earned her a grateful smile and hug out of Leni. A win-win situation, the prodigy proudly concluded.

Chilldrake wasn't really on the same wave of enthusiasm, and raised an eyebrow at his little buddy. "Dude, why aren't you attacking ?" he asked.

"Because that's not why I came here." murmured Ice Cap.

"I'm gonna need more info than that, Ice."

"I've already fought them, and I'm not here for a second round. I'm too grateful for they did for me." he asserted.

"You've got a funny way of showing it." grumbled Lana under her breath, still rubbing awaythe frostbites on her left arm.

"No, the real reason I'm here... is to show them something." He pointed at Lola. "To show her something."

Something... for her ? Despite her best efforts, Lola couldn't fight away the flutter that swayed its way across her heart. But she did a fine job repressing her temper, thus not kicking the shin of the couple of whistlers and chucklers she could hear behind her. Instead, she focused her attention on the uncertain little snowboy, and looked as he stood straight even though his almost non-existant knees were shaking.

'Aaah ! Even his stage fright is adorable !' Lola internally squealed, before she internally slapped her internal face. 'Have some dignity for Pete's sake ! You're Lola Loud, the unattainable Pageant Queen ! You can't just make goo-goo eyes with the first The kid is nice, just look at what he's got to offer, and nothing more. He's a friend, end of the story, no walk into the sunset.'

Lola sealed that thought when, after the apparition of the ACT button right at her hand's reach, she pressed the suggested option, Fashion. That word, normally so dear to her little glittery heart, didn't so much as stir a twitch in her impassive expression.

A certain fashion-obsessed sister of hers that had peered over her shoulder though, couldn't hide her excitement. "Fashion ? Are we having a fashion show right now ?!" Leni took a hold of Lucy's arm, who winced at how firm the blonde's grip was. "Lucy, call me crazy, but I have an idea to pull you right from the 16th Century to the 21st Century, and you're gonna love it !" Leni announced with glee.

"If you think that'll ever happen, then yes, you are crazy." Lucy shot back, meekly trying to pull away to salvage her arm and her dignity.

Ice Cap took a deep breath, and opened his eyes. Blazing passion had not left his spirit, and through those small windows, the fire seemed to have grown in intensity. In fact, it was so powerful... the Louds could've sworn they'd seen a strike of lightning.

"Let me show you what I've learned." said Ice Cap mystically. The monster child rose on one foot, and began spinning like a top, gaining enough speed for his form to become a blurry twister. The impressive stunt became even more so when his body lit up with a radiant white glow, that forced the Loud kids to shield their faces. Except for Leni, who proved herself worthy of her Papy's compliment from earlier by putting her sunglasses on.

As such, when the light works powered down, she was the first to fill her expression with wonder. "Guys, you've gotta open your eyes. Now."

"I like my retinae to be functionnal, thank you very much." replied Lisa, keeping her eyes close.

"But your lives will be litteraly over if you don't !"

Lori was about to give Leni a light scolding for using what was pretty much her trademark expression, but stopped when she saw just what had Leni so impressed. And it wasn't a cat playing the piano this time. Sensing the shift in the arms craddling her, Lily stopped playing Peek-a-boo, and produced a little "Ooo" of awe when she followed her big sister's gaze.

Lori nudged Luna, being the closest to her, and the rocker opened her eyes. Slowly at first, then snapped them wide open. "Well I'll be." she whistled with an approving nod. "And they said the 50's were six feet under. More like a couple hundred."

Out of curiosity, Luan took a peek, and was holding her sides the second after that. "Hahaha ! Grave one, sis !"

And just like clockwork, the rest of the kids followed. One by one, they turned around and were swept in the excitement, making various noises that went from gasps to excited chatter, with some confusion sprinkled in. Lola was the last to do so, as she took the time to rub her eyes to adjust her vision.

But when it was her turn to spin around, she wondered if she should have her eyes checked. Then promptly decided against it. After all...

Why in the whole wide world would she want to unsee this ?

{Johnny B. Goode – Instrumental}

Gone was the bald and naked little snowkid; instead, the monster stood with a 'leather' jacket thrown around his torso, with the words 'Chill out' imprinted on its back. His tight black jeans melted with his small black pointed boots, despite the lack of any feet. On his nose, rested a pair of black shades, slimmer than his avian pal, who had to lower his to get a good look.

But the true eye-catcher, the icing on the cool cookie, was Ice Cap's new headwear. Or rather, his new hairwear. A short mop of icy-blue hair covered the top of his large head, but it was combed in the most 50's way possible. Short on the sides, but voluminous on top, and a small cowlick hanging at the front.

Ice Cap said he would make one heck of an entrance in the world of fashion, and boy, was he delivering, and not without his own original touch. His clothes and hair were glistening, seemingly reflecting the Underground's natural (?) light. Not only that, there was this crystaline appearance it had, almost as if...

"Are his clothes made of ice ?" wondered Lana. "But that doesn't make sense ! Ice's all hard and cold, and his clothes are smooth and silky ! It just doesn't make any-" Her pigtails straightened in realisation. "Oh, right. It's still awesome though !"

"A type of crystalled water, with all its affinities, that can be as flexible and flowing as silk ?" said Lisa, her face progressively lighting up like a Christmas Tree. "It's brilliant ! It's mind-blowing ! It's-"

"Magic ? And the freshest one at that !" cracked Luan, determined to do every ice pun she could before they'd leave this winter forest.

Once again, Lisa forced her incoming frustration back down her throat, but found the feat less painful to act, as the snarkful bile was not leaving a very sour aftertaste in her mouth. This new discovery was surprising, yes, but hardly an insult against science, and everything it had ever conceived and theorised. No physician would be rolling in their graves over that.

So all the young brainiac could muster was a click of her tongue, and her usual grumpy dismissal, "Sure, why not ?"

"Do you like it ?" said Ice Cap, his voice now as smooth as his jacket. He stretched an arm, and magic gathered at its tip. The kids were snatched from their amazed mindset for an instant, fearing an attack. But their worries were quickly put to rest when a small ice comb materialised instead. "Out of all the styles that went through my head, this was the one I absolutely wanted to do first. I saw all those pictures from human magazines – my sis always brings a couple back from the Dump – and I thought it looked so cool." he pursued, swiftly passing the comb through his frost-composed hair. Yes, through it, as the hair parted at the contact of the comb, and its cowlick wobbled like the gel-doused thread of hair it was mimicking. "And now that my hat's gone, I can bring it to life, all thanks to you. I ain't no cube anymore."

Chilldrake approved the motion with a feathered thumbs up, while flickering a stray tear away with his other wing. He didn't even bother denying it; his little buddy had finally become a rebel for life, and the teen had no shame to show how proud he was.

"I can't tell if he's being really cool, really dorky, or really cute." said Luna, stiffling a chuckle at the snow-ball of grease and 50's taking the pose before her.

"The correct answer would be 'All of the above'." answered Lisa, a rare twinge of humour in her tone.

"That sounds about right." Luna nodded. She couldn't resist toe-tapping at the rockin' little tune stroking her ears, though she had no idea where it was coming from exactly. But whether that blaring juke-box was hiding behind a pine tree, or all in her mind, Luna didn't care. Rocker to her very SOUL, she couldn't shun that sweet little track. It was almost law !

"I know what I said about my battery, but..." said Lori, as her phone's flash went off. She didn't care that she probably would never show it to anybody, she wanted this picture pinned in her dressing closet, just to remind her that yes, she had indeed witnessed this. It would go right between Lucy's 'pink phase', and Leni coming home with an A+ in Mathematics.

"Aww, he looks so adorable !" Leni joyfully clapped, before bringing her hand under her chin, and giving it a thoughtful rub. "The Fifties coming back into fashion. I like it..." A smile graced her lips, as she imagined her whole family dressed accordingly, giggling at the imagination Lily's little dress, and adding sparkles in her eyes when she imagined herself with a large skirt, a turquoise jacket on a white buttoned shirt, little dainty white shoes, and a ribbon in her hair.

It didn't last long before the daydream added the obligatory skeleton of her dreams, pulling the same style as Ice Cap, but all the more visible by his larger stature. A toothpick wedged between his teeth, and a sparkling Harley under him, roaring with life and a red-coloured smoke that smelled like... tomato sauce ? The self-proclaimed 'COOL DUDE' shot a finger gun ahead, and the fair maiden was immediately smitten, both in her dream and in the real world.

"Guys, Leni is drooling again." remarked Lucy, nursing her sore wrist. Sewing expertise apparently granted you sturdy fingers as well, Lucy mused.

"Let her have her moment. She deserves it." said Lincoln, patting the top of her sister's hood. His mouth then started moving on its own again.

*"Your Ice Cap has evolved into an Ice Class."

Ice Cap/Class didn't outright show it – had to stay in character – but he was relishing the attention. He always had before, but this time, the pride that came with it was a million times more satisfying. The praise was no longer for what he had been born with, but for something HE had accomplished. There was a way to fame and recognition opened for him and his family now, and he had paved it himself.

But before he could drive down that road of glory, he had to check if it wouldn't crumble under his little boots. And that assurance could only come from the positive advice he was truly seeking for.

Steeling himself and cooling his jets, Ice Cap/Class turned to look Lola in the eye. He saw no amazement nor disgust in her gaze, just plain and neutral awe. "So... what do you think ?" he asked, scarcely believing that he had managed to say that without any nervous stutter.

Lola didn't answer immediately, and that simple fact felt so weird to her. For the second time this day, she was finding herself to be hesitant, and in front of the same monster. But could she truly be blamed ?

Not if you wanted your hair to be torn from your head by manicured claws, she wasn't !

But seriously, everything was just coming to her so fast ! She had felt proud letting the kid go with dreams buzzing in his bloated little head. A career in fashion was something the little pageant queen could only approve, especially if she was the muse of it. But she hadn't expected him to act this quickly ! Heck, she had barely imagined seeing him again today, not that she had a problem with it. When he had said that he wanted to show her something, she expected some kind of sketches for future projects, or maybe a new hat.

Yet here he was, with a style right out of her Daddy's old flicks, amongst the ones she hadn't been allowed to watch. And she wasn't quite sure how to feel about that.

On one hand, the main guy of the movie was a complete tool. A womanizer that thought his coolness was enough to get any girl to fall on his lap, and make them trill like dainty little birds. Seeing this had enraged Lola to no end, and had left quite the nasty mark in the armrest she had taken a bite off. They had worked out some of his flaws at the end, but still !

On the other hand, the only reason she hadn't turned the movie off and cursing that character's name forever, besides the nice songs, was the main character's style. There was just something so rebellious yet classy about his clothes and his hair washed with hair gel, something that had wandered through the little princess' imagination more than once. And seeing it on this little monster, the one she had inspired to pursue his dreams and knew the sweetness he was capapble of, it gave the trend a whole other dimension.

Needless to say that Unattainable Pageant Queen Lola had been promptly smacked and shoved away by Lovey-dovey Lola, who was shattering windows with her squealing. So focused on the imaginary sparkles around Ice Cap/Class, Lola didn't notice her following bout of silence, nor did she feel the big smile blooming on her face.

Her reverie was blown sky-high when two fingers snapped before her face with the intensity of fireworks exploding right next to her. "Lola ! Snap out of it ! Geez, you're acting like Leni right now !" admonished Lana, incapable of remembering a single time she had seen her twin sister in such a state. Well, except with a certain Brit, but she could excuse that.

Back under earth, Lola, not too fond of being scared out of her skin, threw a murderous glance at the capped tomboy, who smiled sheepishly in return. She then turned back to Ice Cap, and adopted a more placid attitude than her inner selves were screaming her to take.

"It's a good first choice." she commended earnestly. "You managed to pull the bad boy style really well. And the haircut is a feast for the eyes, down to a tee. The edges are still a little rough with the clothes, but nothing that can't be improved. I give you a 9 out 10. But don't think that means you can rest on your laurels !" she snapped to a commanding tone, making the snowkid puff his chest like a soldier.

"One victory doesn't mean you've won the war, and I ain't exaggerating one bit ! Fashion can become a war zone when you least expect it ! The moment you get lazy and think you can take it easy – BAM ! – you get steamrolled by some new hot shot, or someone that likes their supremacy, or even some hussy who'll envy you and won't hesitate to trip you the moment she gets the chance !" Lola spoke the last part with barely concealed rage. Her siblings were quick to pinpoint the source, as she would more than occasionly rant and rave about her mortal enemy of the Pageant world.

Fortunately, she managed to cool her mind, and pursued. "What I'm saying is, this is a great start, but you can't take it for granted. You need to keep dishing out your best, and make that best even better than the last ! Don't meet expectations, steamroll them ! Am I understood ?!"

"Yes, ma'am !" saluted Ice Cap.

"I DIDN'T HEAR YOU !"

"YES, MA'AM ! I WILL DO MY BEST, MA'AM "

"DARN TOOTIN' YOU WILL !" barked Lola. The five seconds of silence that ensued quickly dissolved into fits of giggles between the two kids. They could only maintain such a serious façade for so long. The human pack watched the adorable scene with renewed smiles and warm hearts, both for each, and Chilldrake nodded his head respectfully. This was something even he could agree with.

*"Ice Class got a 10/10."

{Music stops. Or not, it's a very good tune.}

"Alright, time for me to get outta here. The open road's still waiting for me." said Ice Cap/Class while straightening his jacket, trying to play it cool, before lowering his voice. "And Mom will have my head if I'm not back before curfew."

"Which in your case, means a pretty big deal." cracked Luan. Lana the Kid quickly drew, and Lola Luke followed just as quickly, both getting the comedienne in the forehead, making her do a flip before kissing the floor again. "Nice shot, didn't see it coming..." she commended dizzingly.

Indifferent to this action, the fashion-stricken monster shook Lola's hand. "It was real nice talking to you again. Hope you guys stick around for a while, so I can make that dress I promised you." His grin grew a little malicious. "And it'll give you time to rake up the Gold you'll need for it."

"Why, you dirty rapscallion !" Lola gasped mockingly, punching his shoulder.

Lincoln, full of pride and other fuzzy feelings, glanced at his sisters around him, and motionned to the MERCY button. His sisters nodded, and the sole brother wasted no time in pressing the golden Spare choice.

*"Ice Class has been spared !"

"Here's a little something for, um, the lessons." said Ice Cap/Class, handing another little pouch full of Gold, a little lighter than the last one. "Thanks for everything, Lola. And, um... s-see ya."

"I sure hope so." Lola dared herself to say, keeping the exact emotional balance she wanted. Warm enough to sound honest, but with a pinch of sass to secure her title of Hard-to-get. She had a reputation to maintain.

With that, the little snowman waved good-bye to the other humans, who enthusiastically returned it, exchanged a fist-bump with his winged pal, whose little clacking noise with his mouth showed just how proud he was of him right now, and departed from whence he came.

"Such a nice guy." said Lola wistfully. She turned back to meet a sea of smiling sister faces, with Lincoln at the back letting them having their 'girl moment'. "What ?"

"Oh you know what's 'what'." Luna wriggled her eyebrows.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Lola pouted away. "I just set him on the right tracks, and he followed them nicely. I gave him a pat on the head, and that's it. There's nothing else to discuss."

"I don't know, you seemed pretty happy seeing him happy. A bit more than a mentor would do." said Lynn, teasingly patting her head, but not for too long, less Lola started to bare her teeth. She had only two of those hands after all.

"A boy who you can swap fashion tips with ! Like, Lola, you've hit the jackpot !" Leni grinned jovially.

"I'd say I'm wishing for your eternal happiness, but the most I can do to be sincere is wishing for the both of you to not die too soon." crowed Lucy, suddenly right on Lola's right.

"Thanks Lucy. You know how to warm a girl's heart." drawled Lola, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Urk, I hope not."

Even Lori couldn't fight the coy grin morphing on her face. "Soooo, should I call your Penguin Pastor plushie right now, or is it gonna be a tea party first ?"

"AUGH ! Back off already ! I told you there is nothing between us !" snapped Lola. "Seriously, can you be a little less invasive about who I decide to call my sweetheart or not ?!"

"HA ! YOU WISH !" rung Lincoln's cackle from behind her sisters' back.

Lola was about to retort with much vehemence, but was interrupted by Lily pointing a gloved finger behind them. "'Nowman." she babbled, announcing Ice Cap/Class' return. The snowkid had a look mixing anxiety and determination, with the latter being dominant in his strutting towards the humans.

"Oh, you're back already ?" asked Lola. Ice Cap/Class didn't answer, and stopped right in front of her, looking at her straight in the eye. "Uh, is there something you want ? You're looking kinda-"

*Smooch!*

Let this day be known, enshrined in legends across the world, and relayed down through generations, as the day when someone, out of her family, managed to lay a kiss on Lola Loud's rosy cheek.

The princess herself felt her whole body freeze, save for that little cold spot on her face. Her world exploded in colours and thoughts zipping in front of her wide eyes, trying to work out some sort of logic about what just happened, no matter how simple the answer really was.. By the time they disappeared, Ice Cap/Class was long gone, and only remained ten sisters agape with joy, a confused brother, and a flaggerbastered monster.

"What ? What happened ? I didn't see !" said Lincoln, feeling, from the looks of his sisters and the back of his mind, that something important had just happened.

Lisa was the first one to recover, emotions only able to affect her so much, yet let that pinch of smugness find its way back into her voice. "I believe a counter-argument has been made."

Lola didn't debunk that thought. She simply carressed her right cheek, waiting for her mind to catch up and make a decision. Should she be bouncing off the walls about getting her first kiss from a boy outside of her big brother ? Or should she be exploding with wrath about that kiss being snatched off her like she was some little nobody, and from someone that ran away once his wicked deed done ?

None of those options could gain favour over the other. So naturally, a third one came to smash that balance into imaginary shards. To keep that blissfully happy smile on her face until the fuzzy feeling in her purring SOUL subsided. The motion was passed unanimously, and Lola went back to her siblings. She did not fear the gossip and overbearing, for she had a simple solution.

"Anyone who starts speaking about what just happened before we reach a place to sleep over to, gets to eat what they're wearing on their head." said Lola, just as blissful as before, yet somehow didn't remove the viciously threatening undertone the message had. When Lynn opened her mouth, she quickly found Lola's index blocking it, without even turning back. "And if you aren't wearing anything, don't worry. I can get creative."

Lincoln gave a nervous glance at the camera. "Welp, now we know. Lola can make herself sound threatening without even trying."

"So, does that mean we can go now ?" asked Leni, wondering why her little green heart still hadn't returned to its little heart house, when MERCY had already been executed. The answer almost cost the bubbly teen a lock of her platinium blond hair, as she narrowly dodged a row of sharp-edged feathers aimed her way.

"Woah, hey ! A heads-up would be nice !" complained Lana, as she had a harder time in keeping herself safe while she had to move her still half-catonic roommate through the feather fury.

"Want a telegraph with it ? Rebel against the system, yo !" chanted Chilldrake, sending two more rows in a spiral formation. Thankfully, the humans managed to dive out of the way just in time, and the assault ended with no casualties. "You guys have been cool with Ice, I'll give you that. But I still ain't convinced you aren't a bunch of conformists !"

"But Lola has just promulgated the importance of art and its freedom. How does that count for nothing ?" dryly questionned Lucy.

"Because she sounded like a parent when she said it ! And there ain't a worse kind of buzzkill conformer than parents ! If I want my room to be carpeted with wrappers and it's not leakin' cinnamon through the boards, then it's my biz ! Okay, Mom ?!"

"Lincoln, could you give us the rundown of this guy ?" asked Lori with a deadpan tone. The young woman had dealt with this type of mindset before, and it wasn't highering her opinion on the angrily squawking teen's convictions.

Lincoln promptly obliged, and selected the Check, making him unleash his inner Narrator Mode once more.

*"Chilldrake. ATK 12, DEF 7. There's nothing he cannot rebel against ! A good friend of Snowy, and mostly has the same attacks. Don't tell him that, or he'll make it rain !"

"A friend of Snowdrake ?!" Luan gasped with joy. "I've found another pun buddy ! I don't know if it was that little Irish jig from earlier, but I'm hitting the jackpot ! Hahaha, get it ?"

A collective groan arose, and Lincoln spoke, "Uh, I don't think he ever hinted he was into jokes."

"But he's gotta be if he's friends with my student !"

"Dude, we are your family – heck, I live with you – and that doesn't mean we spit out one-liners and puns like you do." said Luna.

"Well, it's never too late to turn over a new leaf. They are very light after all."

Luna shook her head. "You do realise that you're doin' what he's doin', right ?"

"Putting a label on a sentient species just because they look similar to various levels. For shame, Luan. For shame." admonished Lisa with a wagging of her finger.

Conscious of how bad that sounded, Luan's smile crashed down like a wet banana pie, as she rubbed her arm with a sorry expression. "I didn't mean it like that..."

"Of course you didn't. It's okay as long as you realise it." smiled Lori, feeling her inner Toriel kicking in.

"Yes, I do." sighed Luan. "You have to be careful..."

Lori's eyes widened at the sight of Luan's buck-toothy grin crawling back up. "Oh no."

"...When ruffling someone's feathers !" she finished with a slap on her knee. She joyfully ignored the groans and jeers of her audience, which included the cool bird himself, but to a lesser extent.

"Not half-bad, but Snowy could do it so much better." dismissed Chilldrake, peering around with a wing above his eyes to get a better view. "Where is he, anyway ?"

"Oh, we saw him a while back ! Him and I became really good friends."

Chilldrake's demanour became a little friendlier hearing this. "Oh really ?"

"Yep, and I even got to become his teacher !" she announced with a good hint of pride.

Unfortunately, the respect wasn't mutual, as ire soon returned to the monster, transforming him into a mess of feathers once more. "TEACHER ?! Teachers are the worst of the worst, yo ! They're like parents, only they aren't ! Oh you're so gonna get it now..." he said, threateningly scratching the ground.

As she backed away in fear, it was then that Luan knew : she messed up. BIG time. Fortunately, her siblings didn't look too annoyed by her slip of the tongue, something she was very thankful for.

Something she was less thankful for, however, was Lola's following question. "So, remember that time you left a huge smear on my special white dress with one of your blueberry pies, and you defended yourself with 'A little joke never hurt anyone' ?" the little princess delightfully rubbed it in. "Oh, you thought I forgot, didn't you ? Well no, because just like that stain, it never came off."

Luan promptly harboured a frown not unlike a certain good emo friend of hers. Karma. So much more unpredictable than her, it was almost laughable. Almost.

Chilldrake had his rebellious senses going haywire, and it was just the conviction he needed to unleash his most powerful attack. This time, the giant bird didn't merely make his wings flutter, instead going full unhinged windmill. Not only that, but he also angled his back to direct his furious feather fury to the ceiling instead of being directly aimed at the humans. The feathers, straight and pointy instead of curved and sharp like circular saws, flew high in the air, and remained there. Little group by little group, they added up to eachother, looking more and more like a cartoonish swarm of hornets looking down at its preys, with the desire to sting them until not a single spot of skin remained unbloated. It didn't help that every pointy end was indeed focused in the Louds' direction, who looked at the growing cloud with great fear.

"Lis', any course of action for us ?" said the sport-loving teen, in dire need of some sort of strategy.

"Running around like headless chicken. Not the most well-thought-out plan, but, seeing as our backpacks cannot offer any protection, the only one we have, I'm afraid." gulped the little genius.

"Sounds fair."

His swarm of feathers in place, Chilldrake threw his two wings in the air, their tips shaped into rock horns. But while this action felt electric, there was something solemn in the way he slowly brought them down, pointing at the cold ground like a Roman Emperor giving a chilling thumbs down, the one that allowed no Mercy on the field.

"Drop it." Chilldrake brought his gavel down most, well, chillingly.

The dozens of feather-arrows showered upon the humans with heavy prejudice, and sent them scrambling around in panic. Fortunately – or not – those feathers were not as damaging as the boomerangs from before. Each white feather only chipped 1 HP away, and the ones that grazed them didn't take a single bit of yellow away from the bars hovering above their heads. But did that tone down the unpleasantness of the situation ?

Well, have you ever felt the swipe of a cat's claw ? Not the kind that goes all the way to the spinal cord, but still enough for you to feel the sting ? Well, imagine if such a pain could be rained down on your whole body, with each swipe, no matter if they hit you sraight in the chest, or just nibble your nose, having the same intensity of pain ?

That was pretty much what the kids were going through here.

Even Lily wasn't completely spared from this one. A feather managed to get through the shield that her big sister tried to make herself as, and pricked one of her fingers. The infant yelped, and shoved her fist inside her mouth, hoping the power of her magic kisses could fight off the nasty stingy sensation. Thankfully, due to the motherly power of the Blankie 2.0, no HP was deducted from her.

The prickly onslaught lasted for about ten seconds, and though it didn't do too much damage, it certainly left the kids with a very sore feeling in their everything.

"Oooh, it feels like the time I fell into my sewing needle basket." groaned Leni pitifully.

"Yeah, or when I rolled into stinging nettles, minus the rashes." said Lana, applying cool and balming snow on her feathercuts.

"Or when I tried the wrong coffin." Lucy grimly reminded herself. As much as she made an inspiration out of pain and sorrow, she highly preferred her nocturnal/eternal rest to be surrounded by comfortable velvet rather than walls of needles and spikes.

"We need a plan to cool this angry bird, and we need it fast." asserted Lori, wearily observing Lily still sucking on her stung fist. "I think I litteraly speak for everybody when I say that I never want to experience this ever again."

"Hear hear, mates." preached Luna. She turned to watch the one-monster riot Chilldrake had begun, and became thoughtful. "You know, that dude kinda reminds me of a couple of blokes back in my class, who loved to complain all the time."

Lori nodded with a little laugh. "Oh yeah, they were so loud and- wait a minute, didn't you become friends with them ?"

"That I did, sis." chuckled Luna, a bright grin spreading across her face like a bonfire. "And I think I know exactly how to get this monster out of his funk."

Her siblings were hesitant for an instant, but that's how far it got. The smile oozing with inspiration and confidence etched on the young rocker's face was speaking volumes, and not the boring kind ; it was almost as if it had a swing of its own, and it urged boy and girls to dance along.

Lincoln opened Chilldrake's ACT panel of options, and reached for the brand new choice, Peace (yo). "Alright sis, the floor is all yours." said Lincoln with a mock bow.

Luna replied with a playful punch to the shoulder, and strutted towards Chilldrake, whose glare she could feel eyeballing her through his thick shades. The closer she got, the more aggressive his stance became. "What do you want ? You gonna bash me because I keep fightin' ?" was his cool question.

"Actually, I kinda get where you come from."

"AH-HA ! I knew you wouldn't understand ! You don't know my cause, dudette ! You don't get- wait, what ?" Chilldrake snapped out of his rebellious tirade, blinking owlishly. Did she just say what he thought she just said. "You... agree with me ?"

"Well, maybe not on the whole bashin' on my sister's pride – seriously, not cool – but I'm kinda with you about teachers. There are cool ones, but jeez, they can be such a bore sometimes." groaned Luna, running a palm along her eyelids as unpleasant memories began to resurface. "I have that math teacher back in High School, and he has a way to explain the area of a circle that made drying paint sound fun. And I ain't even pulling your hair here; one day, Art class litterally left a white wall to dry off on the playground, and it was the most fun we ever had in his class !"

The tale of boredom struck the right chord in Chilldrake's SOUL, and the monster teen was quick to let his feathers down and open up. "Urgh, I know, right ? I have this super tight English teacher, and she won't stop repeating us the same sentences, with the same words, that we need to drill into our brains, or else we're a bunch of losers ! I mean, she doesn't outright say it, but it sure feels like it ! Who cares how I'm supposed to pronounce 'colloquial' ?! When am I ever gonna use that word for anything ?!"

"I know the feeling, brah. Everytime I try spicin' it up with some good ol' Brit accent, they say I'm 'tarnishing the beauty of the English language'. I mean, is that whack, or what ?!"

"School is just whack in general, yo." stated Chilldrake, his pose now completely relaxed. "I mean, no sea tea or Chilla-ColaMT inside the school, or three hours detention ? They don't drink a lot of it if they come with stupid rules like that."

"And what about the cafeteria ? I don't know if they do it at yours, but sometimes, they serve us what they call 'Goulash'." Luna air-quoted with a sarcastic snort. "Yeah, what my Pop makes at home, that's Goulash. Rich, tasty, and good for the ol' bod. What they give us at school, it's called 'Undercooked cat barf', and nothin' else. And what do I do in that case ?"

"You gorge yourself on Cinnamon Bread." answered Chilldrake, sympathetic to the max.

"Not even cinnamon, dude. Plain bread and water, just like in prison."

Tasteless mush and plain water for a lunch ? Aghast inside, Chilldrake could only offer sympathy to his fellow youth, monster or not. "Way harsh. So, does that mean you also wished you didn't have to go to school everyday ?"

"No way, brah !" exclaimed Luna, chuckling at the monster's startled puffing.

"What ? But you just said-"

"I said a good chunk of what my school offers is bogus. And yes, there's been more than a couple of times when I wished my alarm clock would explose and I could go back Snooze Town. But... even if school itself feels like a drag... that doesn't mean I've got to just let it take me." Seeing the inquisitive frown made by the green bird's beak, Luna knew she had to be more specific. "Just because school's a bore, doesn't mean I can't do something about it."

Chilldrake tightened his brow, hopelessly confused by the human's words. "Like... what ?" he slowly articulated.

"Anything to make school life better, more rockin' !" Luna joyfully stated, waving her hands in the air with natural excitement. "Organising mini-concerts during recess or lunch breaks, parties after school, creating a club, helping to make better lunches, the list goes on ! And best of all, you can do it all with some help of your pals, or future pals, if you know what I mean."

"That's... that's true." admitted Chilldrake, his tongue slightly scalded by the fact that he had to agree with something that wasn't part of his ideals. It was like an antithesis of what he fought for ! Rebellion flowed in his veins like an unhinged flow of wild blood that simmered... um, very hotly !

But at the same time, his thoughts drifted to his own clique. Tamara, a gal who constantly proved that you didn't need arms to raise the roof. Rémy, who despite his appearance and first impression on him, was no sleezy rat, and one of the raddest dudes to be hanging out with. Terri, Jerry's sister, and everything he wasn't. Sweet, cool, and just plain awesome to be with.

And hey, anyone who could bear living with Jerry was worth of having a cult made about them !

And there was Snowy. Ah, Snowy. They said birds of a feather flocked together, and that couldn't have been more true with those two. Inseparable since they had been little chicks, they had gone through thick and thin together. He had taught Snowdrake to be more confident, and in turn, he had taught him the power of laughter. Few things were better than a laughing Snowy.

How he longed to see it again...

Chilldrake released a wistful sigh he didn't know he was holding. His hot shot demanour had melted away entirely, leaving a puddle of forlornness with feathers and sunglasses. Not litteraly this time around, but still no easier to look at.

Luna's SOUL hummed, reverbating pity, but did not scorn its owner for her deeds. "Had a little breakthrough there, mate ?" she gently nudged his wing.

"Yep." uttered the feathered drake with a heavy SOUL. "I've been a bit of a major jerkwad, haven't I ?"

"A little heavy-handed, I'd say." quipped Lisa, closing the distance with the two teens with a clear aim to teach. "You are merely a rebel without a cause, but hardly fitting the description of a 'major jerkwad'. Ice Cap/Class' attitude towards you seems to be proof of that."

"You sure did a fine job taking him under your wing !" cracked Luan, knowing she would have beat herself if she had missed the opportunity.

Lisa rubbed her temples with a sour sigh. "Anywho, I must suggest that you take Luna's advice to heart. Trust me, human history has shown by many times that aimless and underthought rebellion only leads to more trouble. However, if you were to give things a little push in the right direction ever so often, they'd slowly but surely change for the better. And you could be proud of it, very much so. After all..." A sly smile bloomed across Lisa's features. "What sweeter victory is there than the one you get for playing by their rules ?"

This comment earned her a fist bump full of respect from her big sis, who then wrapped a friendly arm around Chilldrake's form. "So ? Ready to deal the good fight ?"

The question didn't even need to be asked, but the answer was something to behold, for Chilldrake finally chose to remove his sunglasses from his face, revealing his small golden eyes, that were glowing with gratitude. "Ice wasn't pullin' my leg when he said you guys were alright. I mean, if the nerdiest lookin' of your bunch can come up with that stuff, you guys must feel right at home here !"

The Louds rose confused eyebrows at that, but a laughing Luan was quick to dispell this mist. "Get it ? Because we're cool, and we're in a very cold forest ?" she chortled, well over the dismayed groans of her siblings. "You sir, are a true of my student."

"Yeah, he... taught me a couple of things." said Chilldrake, hacking a bit at that word. Urgh, still didn't feel right to say it.

"So... we're cool ?" asked Lana hopefully.

Chilldrake winked, and gave the tomboy a thumbs up. "Yeah, we're cool."

*"Chilldrake's spirit has been pacified."

Lincoln was more than okay with them, and a without a second thought to spare, a Spare was activated.

*YOU WON ! You've gained 0 EXP and 32 Gold.

Fight ov-

"Well there you are." rose a nasally voice. An obnoxious shudder went down all spines, and for a very good reason.

*Jerry returns.

"There was no Wi-Fi spot, I didn't even get a bar." complained the stout monster, ever focused on finding a good connection. Looking at the disgruntled audience, then gazing around, Jerry noticed a couple of things. "Where did the pipsqueak go ? And are you still fighting with them ? Wow, you're so slow without me around."

In addition of his inner narrator's, Lincoln stopped himself from delivering a few well-seasoned remarks of his own. The sound of teeth grinding and hands clasping against mouths hinted that his sisters were trying just as hard to keep a cool head. Including Lily of all people ! The only saving grace was the safety of Lori's right ribs due to Lynn's quick reaction in catching her flinging fist before it came in contact with her.

'How can someone be so annoying by just opening their mouth ?!' Lincoln vented inwardly.

*Jerry can.

Lincoln didn't even flinch at the venomous spite produced by the voice, for the tone wasn't too far off his own sizzling annoyance.

"So, what do you have to say for yourself ?" scolded Jerry, though still with an uncaring tone.

"Uhhh..." Chilldrake sweated streams. He had been busted by the clingiest of monsters ! Well, second clingiest, but at least Temmies were cute, soft to the touch, and about Mount Ebott's width away from the saucer-shaped monster's level of nerve grating.

He quickly thought of making a quick getaway. Nothing was tying him to this fight after all, he had no obligation to stay. But his conscience wouldn't let him go just yet. Because that would mean leaving his new friends behind, alone with him. He couldn't do that, he just couldn't !

A hand poked his wing, stirring him out of his conundrum. It seemed that Luna had something to say, and according to her serious gaze, it was important. "Dude, we'll take it from here." she whispered warmly, patting his shoulder. "Fly away, cool bird."

Chilldrake hadn't cried since Little Monster School, not a tear had made it past his shades. Yet today, he was finding himself tearing up for the second time, as he felt the respect he had for the humans bloom into a wide field of admiration. "You guys are the real deal. I'll preach the word for you all, swear it on my shades, yo."

"Cheers to that, good chap'." Luna's voice cracked a little, feeling the emotion getting to her. The two teens exchanged a rapid hug, three seconds of closure that materialised the making of a steel-sturdy bond.

And with a salute that the humans eagerly returned, Chilldrake took to the heights, and flew into the distance. The humans waved some more, coziness well setted in their hearts...

...before replacing it with distaste when they turned to look at their last hinch to the end of this fight.

Jerry gazed into the distance for an instant with actual surprise. Apparently, he hadn't expected his 'friend' to make a flight for it. People seemed to do that a lot with him, whether by air, sea, or land, and Jerry simply hadn't the faintest idea why. What could be so important that they needed to be away from him as fast as possible ? Hopelessly confused, he turned to look at the humans, who almost squirmed when he did.

"Welp... awkwarrrd~" coughed Jerry, his eyes shifting around.

"You have no idea." sourly mumbled Lola, quiet enough not to reach his non-existant ears.

Silence fell again on the area, and perhaps the most uncomfortable the kids had endured in their entire lives. The pressure was somewhat maddening, making them want to yell at the top of their lungs, or just be able to escape like their avian friend had. They couldn't quite place the feeling, but it felt as if Jerry was somehow wrapping his grubby little hands around their floating hearts, and slowly squeezing the sanity out of them with his natural annoyance.

'Maybe even licking it off.' Leni was unfortunate to have this thought echo through her mind, with the lovely picture that came with it, and almost heaved right on the spot. Only fond memories of her siblings and a Papyrus dancing the flamenco prevented her from finishing this action.

"So... is there something we can... do for you ?" Lori finally spoke, having worked many ways to escape, and choosing politeness over the appealing, but overall less-than-dignifying options.

"Well... can you give me a ride home ?" asked Jerry while looking at his phone.

"A ride home ? Do we look like we have any ride ?" Lynn grumbled quietly.

Luan stiffled a rowdy bout of laughter. "Well, you can be a good sport coach, even though you're not very car-ful."

For a moment, Lynn wondered if banging her head a few thousand times on the far right button would allow her that sweet MERCY imprinted on it.

Lori swallowed uneasily. She knew she was going to regret offering this idea. A lot. And she knew they wouldn't be happy. At all. But... as annoying as this monster, he was still just that. A monster. And putting aside the weedy exception that confirmed the rule, no matter how weird and off-putting they could be, monsters were actually great people inside. Surely this was only a tougher nut to crack.

She really hoped so, anyway...

And with that, she hit the latest ACT option, Ride.

"Well, Jerry, we are kinda travelling on foot right now. But... if you are going in the same direction, would you want to..." Lori's voice became hoarse and weak, as if her throat was strangling itself to kill the next words coming up from it. "...walk with us ?"

"WHAT ?!" her younger siblings exploded, sending them into pandemonium. Lori cringed. Yep, they were taking this as well as she expected them to.

As the ten kids voiced their discontentment loud and clear, Jerry seemed to consider this. By picking his nose. Not even Lana could approve of the sight.

"Hmm... alright." he finally said.

Lori gave a sigh of slight relief. She could feel the frowns and glares bore into her skull like scalding lasers, and she knew that she would have to make one heck of a case for even a pillow to be thrown at her tonight, but at least Jerry was being cooperative. Who knows ? Maybe he'd come out as someone half-decent by the time they-

"But can one of you carry me ? My feet are cold."

*KRLING !*

That, ladies and gentlemen, was Lori's sangfroid throwing itself out the window.

"Aw, cold feet, are you ? Then maybe you should PUT ON SOME DANG SHOES !" thundered the young woman, finding her siblings cheering for her anger. Lily even mirrored it with a sour raspberry. "'Carry me' ? That is litteraly the first thing that comes to your mind when something offers you something nice ?! Urgh, it's no wonder even GHOSTS have it bad against you !"

*"Hail to that !"

Jerry, of course, didn't see what the big fuss was about. "Geez, sensitive much ? I'm just asking, no need to nag."

"I shall prepare the funeral arrangements." quipped Lucy, as she watched Lori's face turn crimson with rage. But seconds before she could explose, Jerry thought smart to drop one last comment.

"Besides, I can't weigh more than that icky lump you've already got in your arms."

---

Nothing quite made Toriel's lonely evenings than sitting in her amrchair, and read a good book. She had received a couple new ones, and couldn't wait to devour them before going through that lovely photo album the kids had left for her.

Toriel was really glad that she had waited to pick the album, because for a reason completely foreign to her, the book in her hands had suddenly erupted in flames, and reduced into ashes in a matter of seconds.

She did not understand, nor could she explain why it had happened, but for a single moment, she had felt unnaturally... violent.

---

The little blonde gasped. Icky ? She knew what icky was. Icky was for mud, or scary beasts, or that giant radioactive mouse Lisa had created that one time. Icky meant dirty, gross... ugly. Lily felt her eyes moister. S-She wasn't ugly. Her parents always said she was the most b-beautiful baby on Earth. Her siblings always told her how c-cute she was. Even Lola d-dared to put d-down her title of 'Cutest Loud House Kid' just for her. A-A-And Goat Mom h-h-had told she was a-a-a lovely bundle of j-j-joy.

She wasn't ugly. She wasn't... she was...

Lily let out a few tearful whimpers, trying to contain the sadness begging to explode outside. She pitifully hid her watering eyes, and sniffled.

Maybe he was right. Maybe she was ugly.

…

There were a few golden principles in the Loud House. Rules of Thumb that were transmitted through sibling to sibling almost instantly, without even needing to mention them.

And one such rule was the attitude to adopt towards Bullies.

To mess up with one Loud, was to mess with all Louds, nothing too different from most families. Some cases were different, however. Lincoln was of course a little special, with the girls quick to assume the worst about boy to boy bullying, and immediately jumping into action to make sure it never happened again. Since Ronnie-Anne, they had been a little more comprehensive to their brother's wish to handle things himself, and, even though he was a big dork with weirdly white hair, making him an easy target, almost nobody had messed with him afterwards.

Of course, the fact he now had the toughest girl of the School as a girlfriend probably helped a whole lot.

But Lincoln was no stranger to partaking into Bully operations if they were targeting his sisters, but cases were different according the sister being bullied, and the degree of bullying. Lynn getting tripped ? She's got this, you'd wound her pride more than anything else trying to help.

Luna looking somber and moodier than usual ? You had to give it a little time, she was more than able to resolve this on her own. She knew how to swing her axe as well as she knew how to pull its strings expertly.

Lucy coming home in tears with her book of poems in tatters, and 'FREAK' written on her back ? GLOVES. WERE. OFF.

Relations, craftiness, how strong could the targeted sibling's punch in return be, all of these statistics could drastically change the level of anger and the repercussions the other siblings would enact on the bully. One particular variable of this system certainly came to age. Just because Lana was capable of wrestling alligators didn't mean that the fuse wouldn't be considerably shorter in learning that someone was bullying them than if it was, say, Luan.

So, what did you get if you, already not being in their good graces, insulted the youngest member of the Loud Clan, who was still a defenseless baby, and called her names that reduced her to tears ? Well, nobody had ever crossed that kind of line before. This was about to be a discovery for everyone, yourself included.

But boy, could you be happy to have a wall between you and them. A luxury a certain monster didn't have.

A sudden chill ran down Jerry's spine (?), tearing his attention away from his phone. "Gee, I knew it would get cold today, but not that cold. Urgh, worst day ever." he grumbled. "So, are you guys carrying me or-"

*"Jerry ?"

The chilling feeling came back with a revenge, and a harsh one at that. Jerry recognised the voice, somewhat, to be the white-haired guy's. But there was something seriously wrong with it. Or rather, something important was missing. Not only did it do the weird echo thing of before, but any semblance of emotion had been eradicated, save for a concealed trace boiling at its back. And this very trace was sending bad messages all through Jerry's tough skull.

Jerry then suddenly came to another realisation. "Uh... did it get dark around here ?"

Finally aiming his gaze at the humans, everything became clear to Jerry. Frighteningly clear indeed.

There stood Lily's ten older siblings, shrouded in menacing shadows, with their sniveling baby sister at the center of their coagulated form, like a precious Golden Egg safely tucked between the claws of a many-headed hydra. A very ticked-off one at that.

Only their silouhettes could be defined, to the exception of the lenses of Lisa's glasses and their ghastly reflection of what shone behind it. Even the kids' glimmering SOULs weren't sheding any light on their owners, and their total lack of movement, including the usual little bobbing up and down, wasn't making the Louds' new appearance any less eerie.

They weren't even giving any beat ! This role was being taken by the shrouded figures themselves, pulsating with malevolent energy. Whether this was an hallucination due to an overdose of triangulated crisps, or the true sight of a demon crossing the line between the true Underworld and the Underground, none could tell, and none could deny how terrifying it appeared with either answer.

But the penumbra itself held less than half of the fear factor. That lion's share award solely went to the ten smoldering pairs of eyes imprinted in it. Each orb pierced through their icon of contempt so heatedly, it was a miracle that the ground behind him hadn't melted, and that a hole hadn't appeared right between his peepers ! Each pair of eyes held the colour of the still SOUL attached to them, every colour holding a different style of anger, but all harbouring the same will for revenge, from Lori's body bending to Lisa's electrode-helmet testing Even behind Lucy's curtain of black bangs, peeked a stabbing shard of yellow, promising suffering at least as good as the countless poems and novels they had read through.

Jerry was beyond terrified by what he was looking at, but dared not looking away. For as thick-headed and obnoxious as he was, he knew that any wrong move could most likely be his last. And with every tearful hiccup the little tot in their arms was giving, their gazes only got harder and prone to extreme violence, with extremer prejudice.

But were they without mercy ? No, for it was not the way they swore to live by through their journey. As such, a single arm appeared from the dark form, and pushed the ACT Button. Whose arm was it was anyone's guess. And nobody wanted to.

The panel opened, Jerry's name was punched in, and a single finger grazed the Last Chance option.

*"I think you should leave. NOW."

The wide-eyed monster made a simple 'OK' gesture, took a couple of tense steps backwards; and dashed away like a pack of rabid Temmies on his tail. As he ran for his life, Jerry knew that he had just learned some valuable lessons :

-Don't ask physical favours from people you don't know.

-Attacking the weakest of the pack isn't always the smartest solution.

-Make their youngest cry, and humans will USE YOU AS SHOE POLISH !

Such are the life lessons that Jerry Jeremiah Jerry would count to the future monster generations. And like always, nobody would listen. Why ?

Because Jerry, that's why.

*Surprisingly, Jerry has taken a hint, and has fled the battle.

*YOU WON ! You've gained 0 EXP and 25 Gold.

Fight Over.

"And good riddance." grumbled Lincoln, feeling the rush of anger inside him settling down. Curiously enough, he could feel the same happening to his sisters as well, with the shadows around them disappearing. Lincoln felt like he should question this strange event, but tossed the thought aside in favour of giving some much needed comfort to the sobbing infant in Lori's arms. "Hey Lily, it's okay. The meanie's gone now." he said soothingly.

"Yeah, don't listen to a word that guy said. He wouldn't know beauty if it slapped him across the face !" Lola backed up, doing her best to push away any bitterness from her tone.

"I would have liked to do some other things to his face. Perhaps a removal of his glottis would have better his character." mumbled Lisa, the most upset over the last part of this unpleasant encounter.

"Woah, pretty graphic there, Lisa. I was thinking more knocking some of his teeth out. You know, to keep as a trophy." snickered Lynn maliciously, before breaking into a sweat due to Lori's heated glare. "U-Uh, I mean, Fighting is never an option. Protect the whales and all that, hehehe..."

"Careful Lynn, you're swimming in hot waters, and it could end in a whale !" chortled Luan, this time fast enough to bend her spine backwards to dodge Lana's snowball shoot.

"Your smile can make my day, where tales of tears would fail, little sister." recited Lucy, allowing a little warmth to slip in her tone.

"And I love you laughing more, than I love rolling myself... sore ?" said Lana, trying to mimic her big sis. Lucy waved her hand in a 'You'll get there someday' fashion.

"Anyway," Lori began sternly, before dropping to a more caring tone, "everyone's right, Lily. Remember that little conversation we had earlier today ? Bullies are never right, and you shouldn't let it get to you. Especially when you ARE the cutest baby on the planet."

"Yeah, aren't ya lovely ? Aren't ya wonderful ?" sang Luna.

"Of course she is ! Why is it even a question ?" naively asked Leni, earning herself an amused smirk from her rocker of a little sis.

Lily let her tearful eyes appear through cracks between her fingers, witnessing the genuine smiles on her family's face. This gave her the courage to remove her hands to take a better look, and saw that those smiles hadn't disappeared. And just like that, the teachings of her smart big sis ringing right in her mind, she understood.

How could she have doubted herself ? Lola was right. What did that meanie Jerry know ? If her siblings said she was a pretty baby, then it had to be true ! It just had to, it was only World's logic. Like how too much stacked cubes always fell down, or how mashed carrots were the best meal ever, or how nice Goat Ladies' heads made for the best nap spot.

Yeah, that sounded about right ! So what did she have to be upset about ? Nothing, that was why ! She passed a sleeve across her dampened face, and adressed her siblings with a simple, but powerful speech.

"Garry, poo-poo !" she bellowed, rising her fist in the air.

"She said 'Jerry is a...', well, you know what she means." chuckled Luan.

"Yeah we know ! Well said, sis !" praised Lana, making Lily coo with joy. This of course prompted a celebratory Loud group hug, with one happy baby at the center. Hapiness and hugs, wasn't this the truth of this world ?

A few people would have liked to disagree with that notion. But they either weren't there, or were wise enough to hold their tongues.

As the hug disbanded, Lori took the reigns once again. "Alright, that's another fight down. Now, let's finally make some progress." she said, as she collected the coins left by both Ice Cap and Chilldrake. Jerry hadn't left any Gold, but it was nothing she didn't expect.

"Yeah, they're fun and all, but two fights in a row is just about enough, even for me." admitted Lynn, cracking her knuckles as she and her siblings resumed their walking. Once the retracted spikes crossed, the sportaholic dared to relax. "Yep, let's just be on our-"

"Not so fast."

"Oh, come on !" flared Leni, the exasperation of being Papyrus-less for almost two hours finally getting to her, especially since they were this close to go down the path leading to the next area. "Why is it so hard to just get out of here ?! We're running out of page here !"

"Out of page ?" parroted Lisa, raising a tentative eyebrow.

But Leni, too upset to hear her, kept going. "Whatever is blocking us this time, it better be big and important ! You hear me ? Big and Important !"

And what universe wouldn't accordingly answer such a polite and calm question ?

A twin set of footsteps was heard approaching by, intermingling in perfect synch. It was as if the two hooded figures knew eachother well enough to be in such union in the simple act of their feet hitting the ground. Or, as the kids noticed, their paws hitting the ground.

Lana was understandably overjoyed at the prospect of meeting more members of the Canine Unit, distinguished here by their white furry feet, furry hands, and their two muzzles peeking from the front of their hoods, one sporting some sort of facial hair, while the other didn't.

What made her feel less thrilled however, were the hooded robes they were both wearing, giving them the look of undertakers, which was nicely emulated by the two long battleaxes they were carrying, thwacking their handles against the ground as they stopped before the Louds.

The heavy silence that followed was quickly broken by Luan throwing in her two punnies. "Well Leni, I'd say those two are cut for the job, hahaha ! Get it ?"

She didn't flinch when Luna whacked her back with her beanie. Jokes during threatening situations weren't exactly the rocker's way to swing.

Meanwhile, the two dogs started sniffing the air. They had been on their way back to their stations, stopping every minute or so for some snout nuzzling. They had spotted Papyrus on their way, rearranging puzzles for a "SPECIAL OCCASION", he'd said. They had half-a-mind to ask if it concerned the humans, but ultimately let him do his thing. They had also caught the whiff of a most unpleasant smell, but it had dashed out of here before they could properly indentify it. And all things considered, they really didn't want to.

But now, there was something else. A whole lot of something else. And it was tickling the canines' minds just as much as it was tickling their noses.

"What's that smell ?" spoke the first one in a deep masculine voice.

"Where's that smell ?" added the second one with a soft feminine voice.

"Are they not seeing us ?" whispered Luna. "Is it that thing that Doggo dude had again ?"

"Hard to say. They may simply have a better understanding of their surroundings through their sense of smell. Not an uncommon feature amongst dogs." Lisa murmured back.

"There's a smell here, no doubt."

"So many smells. But who are they ?"

"If you are smells..."

"Indentify yoursmelves !"

"That's not a word." Lucy boldly corrected. As a reward, she received Lynn's gloved hand against her mouth, shutting her up. She sighed internally. Censored once again. The young poet was definitely unappreciated in her time.

In a flurry of movements, the dog couple was at work, scrutinizing the small area with their trusted noses. The kids had to move once or twice, by fear of being grazed by the dangerously blunt weapons. Ten seconds later, the duo stopped on both sides of the Loud gang, inhaling the air right next to them.

"The smell... it's right there." gruffed the first one, almost whispering it in a stiff Leni's ear. Thankfully, the need to sneeze didn't rise this time.

"So many different smells.. Sweet, sweaty, lab-y, paper..." pondered the second one, apparently oblivious to Lily's hands joyously patting her muzzle.

"Aww, why does she have to be first ?" whined Lana.

"Will you put a sock in it already ?!" Lola hissed tersely. And she was supposed to be the petty one !

"But there's another smell... A weird smell."

"A reallyweird smell..."

"I don't like that growling tone they're takin', dudes." gulped Luna.

Lincoln's body suddenly jolted stiff, as a memory came at his mind's door, with not the greatest news. "Guys, remember what GREEN smell is on the sniffing chart ?" he inquired, breaking into a sweat.

Lisa immediately took out her notepad, and skimmed through the pages, with her sisters looking over her shoulder. It did not take long before she reached the fate page, and nine pairs of eyes – Lucy is still an unknown case – widened with fear.

"OH CRUD." they echoed.

"That smell makes me want to... eliminate..."

"...Eliminate YOU !"

Thankfully, the two dogs did not attack at point blank, but they did take the kids by surprise with how fast they placed themselves in front of the exit, effectively blocking the path. They then removed their hoods to reveal two white-furred dog heads with long round snouts, floppy ears, and big round eyes. The guy-gal difference was visible through the bushy eyebrows, little mustache, and cowlick the male had, and the distinct eyelashes the female had.

Paws interlocked, and axes were crossed in an X fashion, their blades reflecting the glint passing through the guards' eyes. The rainbow of SOULs popped out of the humans' chests.

*"Dogi block the path !"

Fight engaged !

"Looks like we found our humans." said boy Dogi, his whole attention on the nervous kids before him. "Doggo wasn't lying, there's a whole bunch of them ! Though, I can only smell eleven. Did one of them get lost ?"

"Uh, yeah, that's right ! I think he went that way ! You should totally go get him first !" Lynn pointed over the way they had already crossed.

The claim had Leni's brain in a twist. "What are you talking about ? Lincoln's right there. We're all here, even Lucy !" The little goth didn't outright say it, but she felt quite happy to be noticed.

Lynn, on the other hand, was giving her ditzy sister a fierce glare. "It was supposed to be a distraction, Leni. They run this way, we run that way, and we avoid this stupid fight altogether !" she seethed through clenched teeth.

"Actually, we can't escape on the first turn." cut in Lincoln. He shrunk away when he met Lynn's glowering deadpan expression. "Not the point, gotcha."

"Hmm... I smell Lesser Dog's excitement still lingering about. She was here recently." deduced the girl Dogi. "In fact, it's all over the weird smells as well."

"We have names, you know." huffed Lola, not taking her new nickname too kindly. Heck, if they were going to refer to them as smells, the least they could do was changing it to 'original'.

"Looks like she got distracted again, and let herself be pet. She just can't help herself." he said, shaking his head.

"But wasn't she simply precious when she got her first sword ? Even the Captain had trouble keeping her on the ground." reminisced the girl Dogi with a warm smile.

"She certainly was." he chuckled. He then took an enamoured expression, and his voice followed. "But then again, I see more precious every day of my life."

She couldn't contain a light gasp, followed by a giggle. "Oh, honey bunny !"

"Oh, sugarlumps !" And they were back being deep in affection, forgetting all about their targets to focus on their nose nuzzle practice. Not that the targets themselves minded, basking in the sight with tender expressions.

"Aww, they're in love." swooned Lana, her orange SOUL suddenly feeling a lot fuzzier. She wasn't much for cute things, but she could certainly appreciate the one that came from animals, and especially animals in love.

"Guess those Dog marriage and Twin booth mysteries are solved now." said Lynn with a little smile.

"I expected nothing out of it, and I'm glad I was wrong." nodded Lincoln.

"Case closed, pack up the hot cocoa, 'cause I'm feelin' warm in the SOUL right now." quipped Luna, not even sure herself why she was beaming so much.

The grinning virus spreaded with much efficacity across the humans, save of course for a few of them. But while Lisa and Lucy were expected cases, as it would take an exciting scientific discovery or a cute ghost to get a big smile out of them, Lori certainly was not. Furthermore, both stone-faced children were at least harbouring a little smile, but the sistriarch herself looked as if someone was showing her their pet rat.

Such a frown couldn't go unnoticed too long however, when Luan Loud was nearby. 'My clowney senses are tingling.' monologued the comedienne, feeling the tip of her ponytail quiver on its own, prompting a sneeze out of the fashionista standing behind her. "Hey, why the long face ? Love is in the air, so show me those canines !"

Lori didn't even have the time to groan, that she saw all her siblings whip around, observing her like a martian, and she knew why. Not being enraptured in enamoured awe over this adorable scene of puppy love – Oooh, puppy love, dog marriage, she got it now – to which even the Duchess of Darkness was giving out a smile ? Was the weirdness of the Underground more potent than they had thought until then ?

Annoyed by the stares she was receiving, and Lily working her cheeks to try and find that smile that should be there, Lori finally gave that groan, and with a heavy tip. "Look you guys, it's not that it's not cute. It's just that... ugh, we've met them for about thirty seconds, and they're already smooching eachother."

"Uh, they're rubbing noses." remarked Lola.

"Eskimo kiss, same thing !" swiftly deflected Lori, getting a little bit uncomfortable. "My point is, all it took was some random thought for them to get into eachother's arms. And if my gut serves me right, they're gonna pull up the same schtick through the whole fight, and it just rubs me the wrong way. I mean, hello ! How can you carry on doing anything being constantly busy with saying how much you love someone ? Why make life so difficult for yourself ? And why do it in public, where it's clear you'll annoy all those people who litteraly don't want to hear you going on and on about..." Lori trailed off, and her tone became suspicious. "Is there a reason for all those smiles, or are they really that cute ?"

"Not if you don't count the pride over the sudden epiphany you just had." said Lisa, her smug grin reflected on the others' expressions.

All Lori mustered in return was a plain "What ?".

"Never before have I wished I had my camera on me. It was perfect, I don't even need to add anything." said Luan.

"Lucy, please tell me you're writing this down ?" snickered Lincoln.

"This conversation will follow through the afterlife, Lincoln. I can guarantee it." answered Lucy, scribbling down her poem book.

"It's a fine job you're doing, partner." praised Sher-Lincs, patting her shoulder.

"Glad to help. But not too much." nodded Dr. WatSpooks.

"Am I missing something here ?! What's so funny ?!" simmered Lori, her angry expression widely subverted by two pudgy mittens lifting the edges of her mouth.

"Really, sis ? Two lovebirds billing and cooing non-stop, looking and saying things so sweet that it's sickening, and nicknaming eachother in public. Ring any bells ?" smirked Luna, wriggling her eyebrows in perfect rhythm.

"Should I ?" said Lori, tapping her foot impatiently.

"Yeah, because that's pretty much how you and Bobby work." quipped Lynn. Her strike was successful, as Lori's expression changed from confused to positively irked.

"Excuse me ? We do not act anything like them !" admonished Lori. Badmouthing her relationship with Bobby was one of her berserk buttons, but thankfully, at the moment, her siblings were only waving their hands over it. "I mean, look at them ! They're not even paying attention at us right now ! They're litteraly blocking us out, in a fight they started ! I mean, rude much ?!"

Leni shook her head. "That's totes the cat calling the dog black !"

"It's 'the pot calling the kettle black', Leni." corrected Lisa.

"Oh. I thought it was weird. Even though, it pretty much works with Cliff and Charles, doesn't it ?"

"Look Lori, the only difference between you and them is that they're doing an eskimo kiss, while you and Bobby go a little more, 'European'." air-quoted Lola.

"Yeah, one time you two sat next to me while I was watching a documentary with Hops about his cousins in Australia, and started kissing. Really loudly too."recollected Lana, recluant to play the scene before her eyes again. "Fifteen minutes later, you two were still at it. I don't think I even heard you stopping to breathe !"

While she remembered that event quite well and had nothing to rebuke it, Lori, after summoning her inner Toriel all afternoon, decided to be stubborn, and paid no heed to their claims, turning her nose to the ceiling and stomping her boot. "I still think that's hogwash."

"Lori, look at them really closely, and tell us you don't see anything that rings a bell." said Lana.

Lori rolled her eyes at the order, but followed it anyway, just for the satisfaction of proving them wrong. Ugh, there they were, still nose nuzzling. If they were so good at it, they should just enter a competition, might get a trophy out of it !

(*Rimshot*)

Yeah, Lori couldn't take away that they were looking pretty adorable. But still, what part of this was supposed to mirror her relationship with Bobby ? Bobby was litteraly the most loving boyfriend there was, so she had a reason to be smitten with him all the time ! He was charming, especially with that little goatee...

The female monster let out a giggle as her companion's mustache tickled her snout.

...he handed her the perfect gifts to say how much he loved her...

The axes, which the kids now noticed had the eyes and eyebrows of their owners drawn on it, parted for a moment to reveal what the dog couple had imprinted on the chest area of their robes : eachother's faces, with hearts around them.

...and he always gave her the sweetest names...

"I love you, pups."

"I love you too, Gamy-goo-goo-griz."

...Oh. Ooooh.

"Well~ ?" sing-sang Lynn, cupping her ear to perhaps catch the rare sound of a Mobilus Addictus admiting that she was wrong. And that was just what she got, as Lori's stance deflated in defeat.

"Alright, maybe they do look a little like me and Bobby." conceded Lori at last, trying to keep a cool head. Ooh, she just wished she could wipe those stupid smug grins off their faces, but dipping back into Body-bending-into-European-baked-good-Threat Mode would only sow chaos into the group. Brawn simply would not do.

…'But some brain work could.' Lori smiled mischeviously.

"You know what, you're right. I think I'm starting to like them. After all, it's only natural for them to express their love like that." nodded the sistriarch as sweetly as she could.

"Glad you finally see our way, sis. Sorry if we were too ruff with you." grinned Luan, amicably patting her sister's back, whose smile got only toothier.

"Oh, that was nothing. In fact, I'm delighted that you all like this enough to have shown me the errors of my way. It's important to appreciate love, it really is."

"Wow, you're taking this really well." remarked Lincoln, feeling proud for how far his sister had come. Sgt. Lori normally would have had them sentenced to two hours of footstool time for her toenail polish, but here she was, taking it with a good heart, and nothing else.

"Absolutely, absolutely. Because now, I'm aware that I can show and talk about my love with Bobby as much as I can."

Lori's younger siblings were struck cold by this revelation, and more than a few started breaking into a sweat. "B-But isn't that how you normally act ?" fearfully asked Lola.

"Oh sure, but I was always holding back some details, giving more of a recap, so I wouldn't bore you with my little tales. But now, I'll be able to go on full detail about the passionate afternoons I spend with my Boo-boo Bear." she squealed in mock joy, relishing just a little bit in the terror she saw crossing their eyes. She put a hand over her roommate's shoulder. "Won't that be great ? Every pet name, every cheek caress, every languid kiss, related to you in the baudiest details."

"But I barely said anything..." whimpered Leni, not knowing if she could handle such a punishment. She wasn't sure what boats had to do with Lori's relationship, but she knew that she liked snipets of her tales, she really did, not an entire screenplay.

"Oh don't worry, Leni. I won't make you my sole confidant, because after all, in a family as big as ours" – that sent a little chill down Lincoln's spine – "there's always an extra pair of ears ready to hear you out." she waved her grin at her disgruntled siblings, who had caught on her little schtick. Sneaky Lori was not as scary as Wedgie Lori, but she dealt far worse punishments. Only Lily didn't see the big deal, as she would most likely forget all of it by naptime. With a satisfied smirk, Lori concluded, "Isn't love beautiful when we're all on the same page ?"

"Makes me feel all warm on the inside." Luan grumbled dryly. "Lincoln, could you show a little heart, and do your thing ?"

Lincoln, keen on stirring the subject away from the fact Lori had just gotten them good, pushed the ACT button, and saw the two guards' names, Dogamy and Dogaressa. He went for a Check towards Dogaressa, wanting to go for the feminine touch, but the result differed a little from what he expected.

*"Dogamy and Dogaressa. ATK 14, DEF 5. Strong axe swing, and stronger marriage. They smell first, and ask the questions later."

"They did have that weird smell code system." mumbled Lynn absent-mindedly. She then gasped. "Wait, maybe that's-"

But before she could finish her claim, the sound of blades caught the kids' attention. It seemed that the nose nuzzle session had come to a halt, and the two guards were now back on their main task : Capturing humans.

"Alright honey, let's kick some human tails !" exclaimed Dogamy, his tail wagging with excitement.

"Yes, of- wait, do humans even have tails ?" pondered Dogaressa.

Dogamy blinked, then seemed enamoured by the question alone. "You ask the true questions, sugarlumps. But for now, let's make the Captain proud !"

"Right !"

A sense of déjà-vu hit the kids as they saw the two axes glow with white and cyan energy. Any moment now, they expected the blades to grow to freakishly huge sizes, and slice the air with their SOULs on the front line. However, the canine guards decided to pull up another familiar attack, with the apparition of a little furry quadrupede on their left. And the surprise only grew, when its twin brother appeared on their right.

"Oh my gosh, they're multiplying !" Leni cried in horror.

"No pie is safe anymore, dude ! No dessert survives tonight !" howled Luna to the ceiling.

The little dog on their left began yipping, sending a litteral ring of eight hearts to the other, who waited for them with a blush. Four hearts were white, while the other four were light blue. Adding to that the fact that they kept coming and spun while advancing, and the dodging strategy had taken another turn. The kids had to choose between rushing through the gaps between the spinning hearts, or freeze like a statue to let a blue heart pass through them.

"Hold on, is that little dog sending love to himself ?" remarked Lola in the middle of a dodge. "How conceited can you get ? And that's coming from me !"

Leni yelped as she felt love litteraly hurting her, taking three HP away from her, and Luna moved just a bit too early to let one of the hearts pass through her, leaving her with a not-so-nice buzzing sensation rippling across her body. The assault ended, and the two little dogs disappeared, while the bigger ones caught eachother's eye again.

"A fantastic team attack, schmoockins." cajoled Dogaressa.

"And you made it all the more special, honey bunny." returned Dogamy. Thus, the nose nuzzling resumed, with more emotion than ever.

"Sigh. Even I have to admit they're still adorable. You know, if you forget they're trying to kill us." quipped Lucy gloomily.

"Okay, how are we going to tackle this one ?" said Lori, beginning another Loud circle. "These guys haven't used their axes yet, and it'd be best if they never do, if you know what I mean." Lana's hand shot up, wildly shaking around. "Yes, Lana ?"

"Let's pet 'em !" chirped Lana, straight to the point.

"How original." snided Lisa. A snowball immediately splatted against her face.

"Listen Lana, maybe first we should-"

But the little grease monkey swiftly interrupted her brother, "Oh come on, not this again ! Guys, every time we confronted a dog, the solution was to pet them. It's like basic science at this point !"

"Two occurences do not make for a conclusive experiment, and it certainly doesn't mean that it should be carved in the great marble walls of Science." spoke Lisa indignantly. Another snowball splattered against her face.

"We see what you mean, sis." said Luna, trying to appease her little sis. "But think about it : Doggo was half-blind, and petting was all Lesser could think about. Here, these two are on high alert, with their noses going wild with 'Hack-all-humans-into-ham-slices' vibes.

"And, let's not forget that we had to at least distract Doggo before we could approach him." pressed Lori. "Bottom line, you can't get near these guys until we've found something to distract them with."

"Oh yeah ?" rebuked Lana, deaf to the bothersome advice. It wasn't getting her closer to any petting, so what did she care about subtlety ? She pressed the ACT button, selected Dogaressa, and chose the eternal Pet option. "Well, watch and learn." she said in a haughty tone that rivaled her twin sister's, before turning around to walk up to the canine couple.

"Shouldn't we stop her ?" quipped Lucy.

Lincoln shook his head. "Once the option's chosen, there is nothing stopping it. It has to be carried on, even though this seems like one bad plan."

"Sigh. We don't control the tools. The tools control us."

"Well, nothing bad can happen, right ?"

Lynn felt her whole body get stiff, and directed a condescending glare at her brother. "Oh, you did not just say those words."

Close to the kissing duo, Lana extended her hand to stroke Dogaressa's fur. "Don't pay attention to me, I'll just be a sec-"

*WHACK !*

The siblings gasped in horror when they saw the empty sleeve that Lana hastily retracted, herself plagued with terror as well. Then they shared a sigh of relief when the dark blue mitten reappeared, unharmed.

"Wow, that one cut close, huh ?" Luan chuckled awkwardly. Deadpan glares were shot in her direction, except for Lucy, who raised an appreciative thumbs up.

"Hands off my hot-dog !" Dogamy howled fiercely, lifting his axe back up.

"He means me." Dogaressa sighed enamouredly, before crossing her axe with her hubby once again. The two shared a little kiss, before squinting their eyes menacingly at the retreating tomboy.

*"Pets are not allowed just yet !"

"Hehehe, too early for play time ?" Lana smiled sheepishly at the two glaring parties, monsters and siblings. She kept stepping back until she her back hit her oldest sister's ankles. Looking up, Lana saw her looking back with an expectant raised eyebrow, which made the little blonde shrink away like a berated puppy. "Sorry, sis." is all she could offer.

And it was all the young woman was asking for. She kneeled to her level, her features softened, and patted her shoulder. "It's okay. I'm just glad you didn't lose an arm over this. Just don't be so reckless next time, okay ? We've already got Lynn as the daredevil of the group."

"Hey ! I take offense in that !" exclaimed the brunette.

"Do you really ?"

"...Maybe." pouted Lynn.

Lori rolled her eyes, bemused, then gave Lily to Lana as comfort. The tot immediately pressed her cheek against her big sister's, effectively lifting her spirits.

But the relief was short-lived as the guards' axes glowed once again, and this time, they acted as the kids had imagined. The two gleaming blades expanded tenfold in size, with their wielders still being able to easily support their weight. Their large shadow fell onto the Louds, and the axes followed soon after.

"TIMBER !" cried Lincoln, as the group split to dodge the oncoming assault. The limited space the little area provided didn't give an easier time to the children, and neither did the quaking provoked by the first thwack of the axes colliding with the ground. When they swung a second time, the canine couple almost got Lola under their blades, but she was thankfully saved by Luan's tackle. 'By a hair', the jokester chuckled inwardly.

The sentries brought their weapons down one last time, hitting the hardest and nearly getting Leni's leg, almost depriving the teen of a beautiful ballet career. Not that it'd ever happen, but still. In the end though, no HP was taken away from the kids' SOULs, but it gave them a great fright. These Royal Guard members were nothing to laugh at...

And the worst thing was, they apparently had a Captain.

"Hey, look !" said Lincoln, pointing at the two axe blades. The junctures between hilts and blades were crossed in an archway, shaped like a heart. Lincoln could feel his eyes tear up, and his manliness ebb away. "That-That's just precious."

"Love's all around us, bro." said Luna, shaking a passionate fist.

"Aww, it's just like when Bobby-boo-boo-bear made that heart in a hedge. It was litteraly the loveliest thing ever." sighed Lori dreamingly, remembering in great detail the little 'L+B' he had managed to cut in the greenery. Ah, such an artist, her Bobby. But all artists had critics, Lori's smile fell. "Too bad Mrs. Yvonne didn't think so, and went after him through half of town. Old ladies love their hedges, apparently."

Meanwhile, the two magic blades shrunk back to their original sizes, and the loving duo was reunited once again, already looking deeply into eachother's eyes, and speaking words of love without even their lips moving.

"I don't think they even noticed that they didn't get any of us." said Leni.

"Not a thing we should be complaining about, if you ask me." quipped Lynn, still feeling a little shaken on the inside. Her arms and legs were her pride, and though she knew she wouldn't have lost them, this was still a heart-pumping experience, and not the kind she appreciated. "So, what do we do now ?"

"Their main strength is known, their olfactive senses." professed Lisa, scratching the top of her beret. "The main mystery to solve now, is how we can use it against them ?"

"Poo-poo !" proposed Lily good-naturedly.

"I like the way you think, sis." perked up Lana.

Lisa sighed and shook her head. "A good thought, younger sibling. Except there isn't any changing table anywhere near, and I doubt your intestines hold enough digested matter to produce an effective gas projectile. Plus, they have a good hold over their blunt weaponry, and I don't think we need to add primal rage to their need to complete a job."

Lily blinked twice, her head rattling with all those big words. She came through with one conclusion. "...No poo-poo ?"

"No poo-poo, I'm afraid." concluded Lisa, before returning to the discussing of a strategy.

Lily's mood visibly dampened, something that didn't bode well with her messy big sister. "Aw, cheer up, sis, it was still a great idea." comforted Lana, booping her baby sister's nose. Lily giggled, but the nose pressing rose up a sneeze from her. "Whoops, don't be getting a cold now. With all that snow, you could..." Lana's mind gears sparked to life, and an imaginary lightbulb brightened up. "Holy cannoli, that's it ! Lily, you're a genius !" she cried out in joy, hugging the glowing baby. Yay, she was as smart as Lisa now !

"And why not ? It's a great tune, they'll love it !" argued Luna, once again choosing the rock'n'roll Highway as a solution.

"Just because it has 'dogs' in the title, doesn't mean they'll automatically be all over it. Not to mention it has litteraly nothing to do with their sense of smell !" countered Lori.

"It's music, dude. You don't hear or smell it, you feel it." Luna thumped her chest.

"Uh-huh. And you're going to play it through an harmonica ?" deadpanned Lucy. "That's a tough feat to pull off, even from you."

Luna gasped, hand on her heart. "Dudette, your lack of trust wounds me, it wounds harsh."

"Guys, guys ! I've got an idea !" Lana bounced into the conversation. She was met with half-skeptic looks, but didn't allow them to deter her from continuing. "It's not petting this time, I swear ! Look, those dogs are after us because they smell our 'human scent'. Remember, they had to sniff the whole area to find us. That means they trust their noses more than they trust their eyes !"

"That's good thinking, but it also gets us to the same point. Is there an idea behind the reasonning, or are you just chasing your own tail ? Eh ? Get it ?" cracked Luan.

Lana rolled her eyes skyward, then wasted no time spilling the beans. "This place has puzzles everywhere, remember ? Just like in Lincoln's games. Near the stations of those two," she pointed to the Dogi, still lovingly pressing snouts, "we found their code system. And there was only one smell that was 'unsuspicious'. The Puppy Smell."

"Do they make Puppy-scent perfumes ?" Leni wondered out loud. That sounded like a good pitch.

"What ? That's the most ridiculous-" began Lola, before taking a pause to reflect her claim. "Oh wait, I think they actually sell that stuff."

"Regardless, how do we make ourselves smell like a puppy ?" asked Lincoln, trying to see where her sister was going with this.

A big grin blossomed on Lana's face. "By doing what all puppies do : Roll around like no tomorrow !" she exclaimed, pushing that very option on the ACT panel she had just opened. She put Lily down, then immediately dropped on the floor, and rolled around in the snow like a wheel on a freeway, loving every second of it. She gave her back a little stretch as she brought herself back on her dogs, her winter outfit slightly snowy and grimy. "Alright, now you try it."

"Well, they say a little dirt never killed anyone." shrugged Lincoln with a little smile, letting himself fall. "And in this case, it's actually saving our lives."

He was immediately followed by some of the girls, and a little afterwards by the other, a little more recluant to get themselves dirty. But of course, the most difficult case immediately reared up her head. "Come on, Lola ! It won't work if we don't all do it." said Leni, applying snow and dirt as though she was taking a shower.

"But it's like asking me to roll in filth ! Which is exactly what you're asking me to do !" whined the posh little princess. "Forget it ! There is no way in a billion years that I'll-"

Lola's tirade was cut short when she found herself face-planting the ground, courtesy of her twin's shove. Lana rolled her around with the expertise of a sushi master, despite the muffled vociferations and promises of Hell on Earth. She kept at it for a good five seconds for efficiency, then five extra seconds because it was very amusing to her, then finally put her back on her feet.

Lola looked frazzled at first, still trying to grasp what had just happened. Then, taking a glance at herself in her compact mirror, she turned horrified, looking at all the wild hairs once again poking out of her blond curtain of perfect magnificence ; her thoughts, not mine. And finally, the mist of despair turned into a brewing storm of rage. Lola could barely remember the last time she had felt so angry, so willing to bite into anything that moves. Her hands took the shape of hair-tearing claws, and her ragged breathing was on par with a rage-filled tiger.

But then, Lana had the gall, the nerve, to hush her rage with a single chiding finger, to tame her blazing fury like the tantrum of a naughty child. "Ah ah, we've got bigger fish to fry right now. We can't mess our plan for some petty bickering, am I right ?"

Lola sputtered, almost choking at this. Petty ? PETTY ?! She was now a fuse away from setting her whole reason ablaze, and all her mind would focus on would be to make her sister's face as blue as her SOUL.

But... she let it go. Just like that, the skies cleared up, and a serene smile appeared on Lola's face. "Yeah, you're right. Let's just keep going with the Fight." she nodded, patting her twin's shoulder, who grinned back.

"The tigress just masked her claws." announced Lucy omniously, but certainly not cryptically, as only Lana was fooled by Lola's sweetness.

"No.2 Nuzzle Champs '98 !" proclaimed Dogamy, readying his axe.

"Of course, second place was a given." added Dogaressa. For some reason, Lincoln felt a huge shudder of disgust pass along his spine when she said that.

The Dogi threw another Heart Ring attack, that the kids more or less dodged, with Lincoln bonking his knee against one of the white hearts. Once they were done, the white-haired preteen limped to the ACT Button, and selected the second phase of the plan, Re-sniff.

"Hey, dog guards ! Care for another sniff ?" beckoned Leni, striking a pose.

Dogamy and Dogaressa glanced at eachother, and decided another whiff couldn't hurt. They did so, expecting to find the same scent that would renew their fervour to strike the humans down. But it was another smell that met their nostrils, and made their floppy ears fly up in surprise.

"Wait a minute, that smell of snow and rolling around..." said Dogamy, the realisation coming to him. "Could you be..."

"Are you actually a bunch of lost puppies ?!" gasped Dogaressa in shock. The duo was so surprised by this possibility that they completely let go of their weapons.

"It's working." whispered Lynn excitedly, before raising her voice. "Uh, yep, we're puppies alright." She even added a couple of enthusiastic barks to make her claim believable, followed by her siblings, though Lucy resorted to simply say "Bark" in the most disinterested way possible.

"Oh honey, it's horrible. We've been attacking puppies this whole time !" weeped Dogaressa, her welling eyes making a few humans' SOULs ache.

As he comforted his wife, Dogamy couldn't help but look thoughtful. "I could've sworn we were fighting humans..." he mumbled behind his little mustache. But Dogamy knew, his nose wasn't lying to him. It had never lied to him before, why would it be now ?

With their minds lost in this problem, the two monsters didn't launch any attack, leaving a moment of respite for the Louds. "Lana, I feel obliged to apologise for my previous skepticism. This was simple, yet brilliant." commended Lisa, which certainly meant a whole lot coming from her.

"I had a little help." said Lana, ruffling the top of Lily's hood.

"I don't think we're out of the doghouse just yet." remarked Luan, slipping in her usual little pun. "Look at their names, they aren't yellow yet. The fight is not over."

"But they're not attacking us anymore. What else could we be missin' ?" pondered Luna.

Lana snapped her fingers, finally coming to senses with a certain jokester's advice. "What every dog needs, and just what Sans ordered." She touched Dogamy's name, and saw the Pet option still being there, but no longer as a rash decision. As the right decision. The young animal-lover made her way to the distraught couple, who were already nuzzling their troubles away, and tapped the mustachoied dog's knee.

Dogamy finally felt the presence of the greasy little blonde, and looked at her. As far as he was concerned, she was the one who felt the most like the dog, not just by the scent. "Something wrong, little pup ?" he asked.

"I wanna give you something. Can you get your head closer to me for a moment ?" Lana solicited innocently.

Dogamy saw absolutely no reason not to do it, thus he kneeled to Lana's level. But he had no idea that he had just walked into her deadly trap of affection, and before he could react, he found a little glove stroking the top of his head. Doggo had gone wild over it, while Lesser Dog had melted under it. To Dogamy though, it looked like as if her touch was electric, and recoiled hastily.

"W-What ?!" he cried out in alarm.

"Honey ! Are you alright ?!" fretted Dogaressa. She patted her hubby's head for any trace of harm, and could only sense his distress. She didn't like to see him distressed. And she liked those who caused said distress even less. A scornful scowl spreaded across her features, and she bore it through the little girl's skull. She did not care what her nose was telling her anymore, there was price to pay.

Lana took a step back, for she wasn't fond of the fire that danced in Dogaressa's eye. She was ready to retreat further away, when she saw Dogamy regaining a hold on himself.

"Sugarlumps, it's okay ! It's just... she pet me." drawled Dogamy, almost out of breath. "A puppy pet me."

The kids were momentarily confused by how much of a big deal that was. Dogaressa on the other hand, was shocked beyond belief. That could not be ! Could it ? Had any dog dared to go this way ? There was only one way to be certain.

Steeled with resolution, Dogaressa's snout quicklyapproached Lana. "Do me next ! Don't leave me out !" she half-pleaded, her scorn all but gone, and her tail wagging with curiosity and excitement.

Lana grinned from ear to ear, relieved she hadn't sparked any more conflict. She turned to her siblings, whose stances sagged with the same relief. "You heard the lady, big bro." Lincoln obliged, and pressed the Pet action again, this time under Dogaressa's name. Lana rubbed her head, and Dogaressa jumped back, her eyes wide with surprise.

"She pet me too ! Can it be ? Can... dogs pet other dogs ?" she threw her question to the world.

"You've never tried petting eachother before ?" said Lana inquisitively. "My siblings pet me all the time, and to eachother. Even Lucy get a rub every now and then."

"I can appreciate human contact every now and then, if it's short. And not a noogie." Lucy shot dryly to a whistling Lynn.

The Dogi were astonished, their minds scrambled with a parsley of amazement. Dogs petting other dogs ? The concept was simply foreign to them, unimaginable ! And yet, now that they knew, they only wondered why they hadn't tried it before. The two monsters turned to eachother, their hearts uncertain, but the same idea locking their gazes and paws.

"Pumpkin, should we try it ? Should we risk breaking what could be the ultimate dog taboo ? Bigger than actually catching your own tail ?" said Dogamy, high on dramatics.

Dogaressa's mind was full of questions, but she already knew the answer to give, as she rubbed her loved one's cheek tenderly. "I would brave the Angel's Wrath, as long as it's with you." she declared with passion.

"Oh, my hot-dog."

"Oh, snookums."

"Oh boy, this is getting good." murmured Lori, all too reminded of her sitcoms. And this was the moment that made the preceding five twenty-minute long episodes full of bickering, drama, sunset-gazing, and maybe a song or two, all worth it.

"I am in whole agreement with you, eldest sister." breathed Lisa, the pen in her hand jittering as she gazed at the Dogi slowly lifting their paws up. "We might be about to witness enlightenment in its purest and most unadulterated form."

The canine couple didn't let go of the other, nor did they stop looking at eachother. For if they did, they might lose the nerve to finish what they were about to do. But as long as they didn't, they wouldn't even flinch. Their paws were now hanging over the other's head, so close yet so far.

They lowered, slowly...

Slowly...

Slowly...

Slowly...

And then they reached the fur.

In that one precise moment, many historical events happened at once. In explosions of solar dust, stars the size of thousands of Suns were born, while others went out in a planet-obliterating blaze of glory; infants let out their first cry to the world, some of them future actors to the better of humanity; a young child resolved her first addition, the first of many mathematic problems she would resolve through a life that would meet a Nobel Prize on the way; a person finally scratched that insufferable itch on their leg, realising that everything was possible in life, then prompty returned to wasting time by writing stories on the Internet.

And down in a magical world hidden from the human eye and knowledge, two dogs just had their entire worldviews stretched beyond anything they could have ever imagined.

*"The Dogs' minds have been expanded. Very expanded."

"Uh, are they going to be okay ?" followed Lincoln, a bit worried over the exagerated twinkle in their eyes, as if a galaxy had just been born into their wide pupils.

"I think we just blew their minds. But certainly nothing they can't recover from." Lisa brushed aside nonchalantly. If she could somewhat wrap her pure scientific mind around the Underground and its magic, they could certainly deal with the fact that the top of another dog's head was not an unattainable peak. It was only natural. And perhaps a bit on the vengeance side too.

Okay, a lot on the vengeance side.

"Aaand, we've got clearance for Mercy. I repeat, we've got clearance for Mercy." signaled Luan, pinching her nose to produce a nasally voice. "Captain Lana, you did a swell job. All in a dog-day's work !"

Even Luan's pun couldn't make Lana's smile shrink. She had taught a very valuable lesson to those dogs, and all the while doing what she liked the most : rolling around in whatever the ground had to offer. She was messy, had pet to her heart's content, and above all, she was satisfied. For now, anyway. She wondered how many members of that Canine Unit still remained, and giggled at the thought of all the tricks she would taught them.

She rejoined the group, and contently watched her brother pressing the Spare resolution.

*YOU WON ! You've earned 0 EXP and 50 Gold.

Fight over.

"Dogs can pet other dogs..." murmured Dogamy with wonder still etched in his voice.

"It's a whole new world that has opened to us..." concurred Dogaressa, basking in the wonderful feeling. Would this be how it'd feel when a new world would litteraly be opened to them ? If so, then she couldn't wait.

The dog couple picked up their weapons, put their hoods back on, and were ready to leave. But as they were to pass by the humans, they took a moment to nuzzle the little blond puppy. "Thanks, little puppy !" said Dogamy.

"To you, and your weird puppy friends !"

"Hey, why are we the weird ones ?" complained Lynn. She could catch a ball with her mouth as good as Lana could, and she could reach her ear with her foot. That had to count for something !

"Aww, you're welcome you two." cooed Lana, eagerly earning a few extra pets.

And with that, the canine couple made their exit, going back to their stations paw in paw, still radiating with love and wonder. "That was one adorable fight." summarised Luna. "You know, for a Royal Guard, they have mad tricks, but their weakness for petting is sure as heck easy to exploit."

"Is it such a bad thing though ?" said Lincoln.

Luna chuckled. "Not a chance."

"Well, that was sure fun." said Lola, giving her back a little stretch. "Did you have fun, sister ?"

"I sure did !" proclaimed Lana with a prideful puffed chest.

"Good..." purred Lola, her good-natured smile becoming more sinister by the second. She made every joint of her knuckles pop one by one, taking devilish glee into seeing the colour drain from her twin sister's face. The 'clear sky' cardboard décor fell down, to reveal the cataclysm behind. "Everyone should enjoy their last moments on this planet."

"And, the claws are out again." said Lucy.

"Oh, dog biscuit." whimpered Lana in the meekiest of tones. Famous last words, before she saw the pouncing, war-shrieking form of her sister going for her eyes.

In respect for our readers and the RSPCA breathing down our necks, we will hide this scene of intense violence, and instead replace it with those dots that I'm sure, will encourage you to play some soothing tunes over watching a relaxing sunset. Or maybe you'll play some Metal while watching a kid's face meeting a telephone pole at high speed. We ain't gonna judge. Enjoy.

…

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*Ding !*

Ah, it seems that the heat has died down, and also that my ham and cheese sandwich is ready. We now return to LOUDERTALE.

"Cleanup in Aisle 3..." said Luna, cringing to the core to what she had just seen. The wrath of Lola was something you could behold so many times, and still feel cower in fear before it. When Lola said she could be crafty in how she dealt pain, she meant it. Dear Lynn-sagna, she meant it.

Lana laid battered on the ground, her foot twitching now and again to indicate that she was still alive. Lola hadn't done anything major, nothing that cartoon physics wouldn't heal in the next scene, but still looked like a pink truck had rolled over her, then had taken the time to come back and forth over her form at least a dozen times, just to be sure it had done the job right. Most bizarre of all however, was the fact that Lana wasn't dirty. There wasn't any blood coming out of her swollen nose, or grime on her clawed coat. In fact, Lana looked cleaner than before, with a nice scent of lavender spreaded over her.

To Lana, this was perhaps worse than the beating itself.

"Woo, not bad for petty bickering, wouldn't you agree ?" sighed Lola contently, putting her gloves back on.

"That bacon's for table threven..." Lana uttered woozily.

Lola seemed happy with the answer, and gave the pouch left by the Dogi to Lori, who accepted it warily. "Now, let's finally get out of here, before a mole monster comes out or something."

"YES, I COMPLETELY AGREE !" cried out Leni, throwing Lana over her shoulder with a little too much enthusiasm, and a bit too large grin.

"Leni ? You seem kinda tense." pointed out Lincoln. The boy swallowed a gasp when she saw the Mad Hat-Designer pressing her nose against his.

"I'm okay-roney to the A-B-D, Linky ! And I'm certainly not in need of any break, that would keep us from seeing Papyrus again, for another second !" she giggled excessively, so much that a little foam started to appear. Nevertheless, she tried keeping it under control. "So, now, let's go and see what's next, okay ?"

Lisa shook her head. "Leni, I must insist that you quell your enthusiasm-"

"OKAY ?" repeated Leni, instantly nose-to-nose with her little sister, her crazy look piercing through the little genius' thick lenses.

"Yes." squeaked Lisa.

The Louds thus departed, and Leni righted herself back to her perky and totes cute appearance. But at last, they were making progress. At last, she was going to see her Papy again, and they would talk, and laugh, and dance, and maybe something extra...

Yes, they would be reunited, and it would be the marvellous-est thing to see !

…

In the next chapter.

"OH COME ON !"

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Author's Note : And there you have it, a little something to content you through the holidays ! I'm again sorry for the delay, and I can't promise that I will patch it up just like that. But what I can tell you, is that the show goes on, and it'll keep going no matter what ! So keep being great at keeping my morale up !

Now, this is-

Papyrus : WAIT A MINUTE, DEAR JESTER AUTHOR !

Uh, yes ? What is it ?

Papyrus : THERE WAS A COMPLETE CHAPTER OF SNOWDIN, AND NO APPEARANCE OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS ! HOW CAN THIS BE ?!

Well, I kinda didn't have the time to include you this time around. But there'll be a whole bunch of Papyrus goodness in the next chapter, I promise ! You'll even be the opening act !

Papyrus (Visibly saddened) : OH. I SEE. I'LL JUST... WAIT FOR ANOTHER MONTH OR TWO. THAT'S FINE.

No, c'mon Paps, don't give me that look. Not the shiny eyes, not the quivering lower jaw, come on. I swear you'll... you... d'aww, alright, alright ! Here's a mini-story featuring you in the meantime ! There, happy ?!

Papyrus : BRILLIANT ! LET THE SHOW BEGIN !

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COOKING LESSONS WITH THE GREAT CHEF PAPYRUS !

(UP NEXT : Repairing your burning house in five easy steps.)

{Scene opens up in the skelebros' kitchen. Papyrus is wearing a white toque, as well as an apron reading 'Kiss the Skele-cook !'.}

Papyrus : HELLO, PEOPLE OF THE INTERNOOT ! WELCOME TO GREAT CHEF PAPYRUS' COOKING LESSONS ! TODAY, WE ARE GOING TO LEARN HOW TO COOK PASTA ! A SIMPLE DISH, BUT OH SO GREAT TO PREPARE ! ALMOST AS MUCH AS ME ! NYEH HEH HEH !

Step 1 : Boil the water.

{Cuts to Papyrus in front of the stove.}

Papyrus : FIRST, MAKE SURE THAT YOUR STOVE HAS BEEN SET AT THE PROPER TEMPERATURE.

{The stove catches fire.}

Papyrus : PERFECT ! NOW, JUST ADD A MARMITE FULL OF WATER, AND LET IT BOIL UNTIL YOU SEE BUBBLES POPPING AT ITS SURFACE, OH SO DELICATELY.

{The pot catches fire. The water also catches fire.}

Step 2 : Cut the Veggies.

{Papyrus stands in front of a chopping board, with some yummy veggies on it.}

Papyrus : NEXT UP, LET'S DICE SOME VEGETABLES ! NOW, THE BEST TOOL TO USE HERE IS A NICE LONG KNIFE, PERFECTLY SHARPENED AND SQUEAKY CLEAN. BUT IF YOU ARE RUNNING ON A TIGHT SCHEDULE, LIKE ME...

{Papyrus revs up a chainsaw.}

Papyrus : SIMPLY USE YOUR NEARBY CHAINSAW, AND COLLECT WHATEVER IS LEFT FROM YOUR CARNAGE !

In respect for the vegetables watching this, we have cut this scene for you. Orange you glad we did ?

Papyrus : SANS, ENOUGH WITH YOUR CARDS FULL OF PUNS !

Step 3 : Dunk the pasta.

{Papyrus does just that, dunking the spaghetti into the pot in slow-motion. The pasta collided with the still burning water, splashing it all over the kitchen, and sending the Louisiana–Lafayette Ragin' Cajuns to the Finals of the National USA Tournament.}

Step 4 : Add the rest !

{Papyrus has a basket full of different types of food, and non-food, in his hands.}

Papyrus : THIS IS WHERE CREATIVITY TAKES ITS COURSE ! ADD WHATEVER YOU WANT TO THE SAUCE ALREADY MADE OF THE TOMATO SCRAPS YOU'VE COLLECTED ! DON'T BE AFRAID TO BE BOLD, BUT BE CAREFUL, AS SOME INGREDIENTS CAN BE BAD FOR THE TASTE. FOR EXAMPLE, YOU CAN'T ADD CHOCOLATE TO THE MIX. IT'LL HIDE THE LICORICE !

{Somewhere, a loud ghostly protest is heard.}

Step 5 : Savour !

Papyrus : HERE'S THE BEST PART ! TO ENJOY YOUR HARD WORK, AND EVEN BETTER, TO LET OTHERS TO ENJOY YOUR HARD WORK ! TODAY, I HAVE MY BROTHER SANS TO TASTE OUT OUR WONDERFUL CONCOCTION !

Sans (visibly sweating) : yeah, about that, can i get a rain check ? i have at least three naps i've still got to take.

Papyrus : NONSENSE ! WE'RE NOT EVEN IN WATERFALL ! OPEN WIDE !

{Papyrus forces a fork full of spaghetti covered in weirdly-coloured sauce in his brother's mouth. The agony appearing on Sans' face is impossible to describe, but the lazybones still manages to lift a shaky thumbs-up.}

Papyrus : A ROUSING SUCCESS ! LET'S DANCE TO IT !

{Follows twenty minutes of Papyrus dancing the flamenco like a pro, making a certain ditzy blonde in the audience faint in endazzlement.}

Conclusion.

{Papyrus and Sans stand next to eachother, with Sans still having a black spaghetti hanging from his mouth, and his eyes devoid of life. All the while with the stove still burning in the background.}

Papyrus : THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE, FOLKS ! CATCH US NEXT WEEK AS WE TRY A MEAL MADE BY SANS : A WEIRD SUGAR-Y QUICHE ! BIZARRE, BUT APPARENTLY DELICIOUS ! SEE YOU NEXT TIME, AND DON'T FORGET TO NYEH AT YOUR HEART'S CONTENT !

{The skelebros both wave to the camera. Five second later, Sans pulls out a sign that says, 'If you're watching this Live, please, call an ambulance.}

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Ah, what you have to do to please the fans. And not getting my head axed off by a protective big bro.

Anyway, until next time, this is Superdimentio77, telling you to stay awesome and have beautiful holidays ! Season's greetings !