Arceus let out a sigh as he floated through the hall.
"A new year..." he mumbled, as if uncertain as to what emotion he should have been conveying. The Alpha then lifted his head in the direction of his study.
"Well, time to start up a new review I suppose," Arceus said with a little more vigor, floating a little faster towards his destination.
"Chazz it up, Tabitha!" he heard the squeaky voice from his study - at least Mew seemed a little happier than him, he thought as he floated into the doorway.
"Mew," she blinked and looked up from her video at Arceus' voice. "I'll need the computer in a minute."
The Psychic's ears drooped a bit at his declaration. "Just one more episode. Please, Arcy?"
The Normal Type blinked. "Well, I suppose one more wouldn't hurt."
"Thanks, Arcy!" Mew exclaimed, clapping her paws together and smiling as she turned back to the screen. "I still can't believe they left out Zinnia..."
With five more minutes of free-time on his hands, Arceus floated back into the hallway. He didn't get far, though.
"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!" Ximenes shouted as he and his cohorts burst out of a nearby room and landed right in Arceus' path. "You thought we were going to come in at the end of the chapter, but we-"
The Cardinal was cut off when Arceus' eyes flashed and the floor opened up beneath the trio, giving them only a second to realize they were standing over a void before they screamed and fell in.
"Well, that's that..." the Alpha muttered, only to blink in astonishment when the Inquisition burst through the door behind him.
"You won't get rid of us that easily!" Ximenes waltzed up to Arceus while Fang produced a scroll from inside his cassock.
"You are hereby charged with being a rip-off," the man in red muttered through his thick accent, before he started shimmying. The leader of the trio decided to overlook that as he leaned in closer to the Legendary Pokémon.
"Confess, confess, confess..." he started quietly chanting. Arceus just blinked and looked up at the marble ceiling.
"Well, I suppose I was when I started out."
"CONF- Huh?" the three quickly exchanged confused glances before Ximenes looked back up at Arceus. "That was easy. All right; apprehend him!"
"What?" Arceus' head whipped back to the doorway; Mew was still engrossed with the computer screen. "MEW!"
"Man, when Clemont turns evil he really turns evil..." she muttered absentmindedly as her icy eyes remained frozen on the screen, completely oblivious to the scruffle unfolding behind her.
"It's no use resisting," Ximenes said as he tried to wrap a hand around Arceus' large hoof. "Our plot armor is thicker than the one Alain's Charizard has. Now come along quietly."
"It's a fair cop," Arceus said with a resigned sigh as the Inquisition started leading him away.
"Stop talking to the camera," the Cardinal ordered. Arceus' head turned back to his study.
"MEW! Get a lawyer!" the New Species Pokémon finally looked up from the computer at Arceus' shouting, and sped out of the room just in time to see Arceus being led out of the hall by the Spanish Inquisition.
"What!? Why?"
"He's been charged with being a rip-off," Ximenes shouted as the four passed through the open doorway.
"I don't even know where the trial's being held!" Mew shouted back, only to have a newspaper thrown in her face. She landed on the polished floors with a thump and muffled cry; by the time the Psychic Type had pried the projectile off her face - "people still read these?" the thought crossed her mind as she did - she was completely alone. Mew squinted at the blocky, obnoxious newsprint while her vision readjusted, and then threw down the paper when the headline finally registered.
"Of course," she muttered with no small amount of disdain, only for her eyes to go wide in realization. "Wait; I don't know any lawyers..."
The Psychic's ears dropped a bit. "And I don't have any money either... Who could I-"
Mew cut herself off with a blink. "Well, he could work, I guess."
The Psychic Type then floated off towards Arceus' rotary phone, materializing a phone book as she reached the little desk it was squirreled away on. She then slammed the massive yellow chronicle down on the table, ignoring the mahogany's groan in protest, and then started frantically flipping through the seemingly-endless pages for one name.
"Man, Arceus was right when he said it was a fairly common surname," she muttered before her paw finally landed on the specific name she was looking for. Quickly dialing up the number, Mew found herself tapping her paddle-shaped tail against the wood impatiently as the ringing started echoing in her head.
"C'mon, pick up..." as if on cue, she heard the line click to life, followed by an apprehensive 'hello?'.
"Hello! It's me, Mew! You still remember me, right? Good. Listen; I - well, really Arcy - need your help. I need you to represent Arcy in court," Mew blinked at the response. "Yes, I know you're not a lawyer, but you can do anything the plot demands."
There was an awkward pause, and Mew cleared her throat.
"I mean that as a compliment," she then pressed the phone closer to her triangular face, like she was leaning in and whispering into someone's ear. "Besides, Arcy would owe you one."
A small grin broke out across Mew's mien at the response. "Great! I'm certain Arcy will agree to those terms. And don't worry about a suit, I'll get one."
There was a muffled reply on the other end. Mew picked up a nearby notepad and pencil and began writing down an address. "All right, I'll teleport by and pick you up. How do you feel about Bournemouth? Yes, that Bournemouth; with it's white sandy beaches, fun arcades and so on and so on. I'll be there in a minute, give or take a minute. Okay, bye."
The New Species Pokémon then hung up and vanished in a burst of pink light.
The town of Bournemouth was abuzz. People had piled into the already burgeoning boom town to see the Arceus rip-off trial; vendors on the street were selling tickets for courtroom seats along with an assortment of other memorabilia - t-shirts, pens, coffee mugs, ball caps, instant cassettes for those who didn't feel like sitting through the whole thing, plushies, pitchforks, torches, cotton candy and even commemorative spoons. Yes, here at Bournemouth we have all your Arceus-trial memorabilia needs, conveniently located across the city. While collecting all the memorabilia, come visit our many arcades and-
A Note From Arceus:
"Get on with it!"
But, by far, the most crowded area of Bournemouth was the courthouse itself. People were packed into the massive building like sardines - those who couldn't squeeze their way into the gallery were waiting in the lobby, and those who couldn't push their way into the lobby were trying to push their way to one of the many windows that peered into the courtroom. The fact was further exacerbated by Kyurem and Genesect taking up a whole bench, and everyone else trying to maintain a ten foot radius from the former.
"These charges are bum," Kyurem finally growled, ending a ten-minute period of silent apprehension since Genesect first sat down next to the behemoth.
"Even more now that Keldeo's retired," Genesect replied with a nod. "I hear they even had to bring in a special judge for the case."
"Well, I got Arcy the best lawyer I could afford, so he's in capable hands," both legendaries blinked at the voice, and looked down to see Mew. Kyurem raised a frozen eyebrow.
"Except you don't have any money," the Boundary Pokémon deadpanned.
"Exactly," came her reply. Kyurem and Genesect both peered into the courtroom - their bench being conveniently located right next to the doorway - and were met with a flash of blue behind the defendant's table. The image that had already formed in both their minds was dashed when they made the same two observations; a crop of blonde hair, and the fact he was a kid. Kyurem blinked and turned back Mew.
"Did you mug Phoenix Wright?" Mew shrugged.
"Eh, just his wardrobe. Besides, the guy loves blue, so I thought it'd fit," Kyurem took another look back into the courtroom at her comment, only for his pupil-less eyes to go wide in shock. The Ice Dragon's head then violently whipped back to Mew.
"Wait a minute; Jack Storm is many things, but last time I checked he wasn't a certified lawyer!" the Psychic Type crossed her arms.
"Well last time I checked, Keldeo wasn't a certified judge either."
"Well, he's a kind of jud-" Genesect was cut off when Kyurem tapped him on the shoulder and pointed to the doorway to the lobby. Every reporter in the lobby had immediately just swarmed around it, cameras blaring, and were slowly making their way to the courtroom doorway as they continued their verbal bombardment.
"Mr. Keldeo, is it true you retired?"
"Can we get a synopsis of the book you're planning on writing now that you've retired?"
"What are your thoughts on Sun and Moon?" by now Keldeo - effectively cut off from the three legendary's field of vision by a wall of cheap suits - was in front of the courtroom doorway and clearly fed up. The trio heard the sound of hooves hitting polished tile before Keldeo's Secret Sword emerged from the cordon of reporters; they parted faster than a Nurse Joy from Brock. There was no time for any of them to approach the (retired) living legend, however; as every reporter's head quickly snapped back to the other doorway as if some magnet had drawn them. The three followed suit, and saw Arceus floating in it; all four of his hooves were bound with oversized ankle weights that accomplished little more than the ruckus that drew everyone's attention to begin with, and he was clad in a striped prison uniform. When Kyurem narrowed his vision a little further - unlike Keldeo, Arceus easily towered over the reporters around him - the Ice Dragon realized that, bar the cap, someone had actually just painted black stripes across his body, and went so far as to paint all the gold and grey on him white to complete the façade.
"He looks like a Zebstrika," Mew deadpanned - Genesect was grateful that Arceus was hopefully too busy trying to make it through the media to have heard that. Unfortunately, they weren't making it easy for him to get through.
"Mr. Arceus! Is it true you're a rip-off?"
"Mr. Arceus; is it true you were getting love letters in prison?"
"Did you really give Korrina the voice of Amy Rose?"
"Do you have any comments about the allegations of an affair with Lady Palutena?"
"Is it true that you locked Giratina in the Distortion World for millennia?"
"Will Obi-Wan ever get his own movie?"
"Are you a llama or a horse?"
"What is the best way to get grape juice out of carpets?"
"Who shot J.R!?"
"I hear you like Mudkips!"
"All right, no more questions!" the bailiff escorting Arceus shouted. "Let the defendant through or I'll place all of you under arrest for obstruction."
The press quickly obeyed, and Arceus slowly floated into the courtroom unobstructed, but still had enough time to shoot the trio a look in gratitude. Barely a second had passed after Arceus' massive frame had passed through the gate that they heard a bell ring out.
"Looks like that's our cue," Genesect said as he stood, watching the last of the stragglers begin to file into the courtroom. Kyurem joined him with a gruff nod.
"I'll catch up with you guys," Mew said before floating off, leaving the duo to assume their seats in the back. Genesect's eyes quickly scanned over the courtroom - Arceus was unreadable, Jack was clearly nervous and couldn't stop fidgeting with the red tie that hung around his neck, and overall the courtroom itself had the same atmosphere as the one casting itself over the trainer's face. The Bug's mechanical eyes then drifted over to the jury - amongst the Creation Trio, he made out Professor Rowan's distinctive glower, Nobunaga's infamous black armor, Zinnia's carefree air, Gary Oak's self-assured grin, Cynthia's gaze shifting between Arceus and a notepad in her hands, Guzma resting his elbows on his knees as he tried to stay awake, Korrina's long ponytail peeking out from the crowd, and Steven Stone fiddling with the sleeves of his suit. Genesect's vision nearly turned red when he spotted N in the jury box, but Kyurem's snort provided a welcome distraction.
"A rogue's gallery," the Ice Dragon muttered. The Bug just nodded as he heard a door slam shut in the distance.
"All rise for the Honorable Keldeo the Critic," the bailiff - was that Hideyoshi, Kyurem wondered - said, and the courtroom quickly obeyed as Keldeo trotted up to his seat.
"Be seated," the critic said, before his eyes gazed down to the other side of the room. "Where is the prosecutor?"
Everyone in the room took a collective blink when they realized, much as Keldeo said, the prosecutor was absent. And, of course, the doors chose that moment to swing open.
"Good morning, Worm your honor," they heard the voice sing out from behind the heavy doors that obscured their view. "The Crown will plainly show, the prisoner who now stands before you, was-"
"MEW!" Mew - clad in a court dress and a barrister's wig - chuckled uneasily as she finally floated over to the prosecutor's table. No one gaped wider than Jack Storm himself - Arceus, much like before, seemed entirely unfazed.
"B-But... But you hired me to defend Arceus!" Mew twirled the tail of her wig around her paw innocently.
"Well, Arcy was given a choice between Miles Edgeworth, me and Brawl-Era Meta Knight, and apparently I was his pick."
"I would have taken my chances with Meta Knight," Genesect whispered to Kyurem. It was the Boundary Pokémon's turn to nod in agreement.
"Anyways," Mew carried on with a more chipper tone. "I won't let you down, Arcy!"
"Isn't that reassuring..." Jack muttered. Keldeo took the opportunity to bring down his gavel - held between his teeth - all eyes quickly glancing back up to him.
"If both sides have finished their banter," the Colt Pokémon said, spitting out his gavel. "We can begin with the opening statements."
"I immediately motion for a thirty-minute recess, your honor," Mew said. The room raised a collective eyebrow.
"What!?" Keldeo his hooves into the air. "Biscuits, we haven't even asked him how he pleads yet and you already want a recess."
"Well," Mew chuckled uneasily. "You see, since I didn't have any money, I promised Jack that Arcy would review Book 2 as-"
"WHAT!?" that had probably been the first word Arceus had said since he had been arrested - the Alpha's impromptu lawyer paled and grabbed the nearest thing he could find as the entire room shook violently. It happened to be Arceus' leg. Jack's hand quickly shot back to his side as the room finally stopped rumbling, offering up a weak smile to Arceus' downward gaze. Mew did better than him; she cleared her throat in a manner almost burlesque to her role and carried on as if an earthquake hadn't just hit the courtroom.
"I also find it pertinent to the case, your honor."
"How so?" Keldeo grumbled as he pushed himself back up into his seat.
"A review would be a good way to determine if, in fact, the defendant is a rip off," Keldeo blinked at the Psychic's response.
"That's a pretty good point, actually," the Sword of Justice muttered. "Thirty minute recess everybody! There's a room in the back with a computer - bailiff, prosecutor, please escort the defendant and his counsel there. We'll watch the recording when we reconvene."
And with a slam of the gavel, Jack Storm suddenly found himself being whisked down a hall with two legendaries and a warlord. Mew apparently had a similar thought - she opened her mouth, only for Hideyoshi to beat her to the punch as they came to the mentioned room.
"I needed the money," the Ignite deadpanned before he pushed open the door. "Holler if ya need anything."
Mew beamed. "In that case-"
"Time is of the essence," Arceus cut the New Species Pokémon off with a telepathic push before she could start rattling off various demands. Jack was the last in, and knitted his eyebrows when he looked over the room.
"Keldeo wasn't kidding when he said there was a room with a computer," true to his observation, beyond a couple of chairs off to the side and a handful of items to go with the computer, it was completely empty.
"It will do," Arceus said as the screen flickered to life. "And now for the review."
Arceus the Critic
"Rising Storm: Book 2" by Jack Storm 448
Rising Storm: Book 2
By: Jack Storm 448
Jack Storm is getting closer to the truth; with his loving brother and faithful team beside him, what could possibly go wrong? You guessed it, PLOT CONVENIENCE! What with all the crazy stuff that goes down, will Jack ever find out who he really is? There's only one way to find out; it's time for Rising Storm: BOOK 2!
"Also known by its alternative title of Book 2: Electric Mewgaloo," both Jack and Mew shot Arceus a glance from their seats in the back, but the Alpha paid no mind to them.
Three months.
"The summary lasted for three months?" Mew shrugged from her seat while Arceus' lawyer facepalmed.
"Long summary."
It had been three months since Pastoria, three months since Jack had freed the Legendary Birds, three months since he started scouring Sinnoh for any sign of the person responsible for sending the Birds after him, and giving him those freakish dreams, and three months since the dreams had suddenly stopped.
"But he still hears the voices in his head," Jack threw his arms up into the air.
"I'm right here!"
"We know," Arceus and Mew replied simultaneously - the pink feline was one to respond.
"You did ask for this, you know," Mew said. The attorney in blue just blinked and leaned back into his chair.
Jason didn't know why the dreams had stopped, but it seemed to correlate with Jack freeing the Birds; he hoped that meant the mysterious antagonist had given up on that plan, which would mean that the Birds were safe. There was one thing Jason knew though; that day, three months ago, was when everything had changed.
"Pokémon got turned into a school anime!" Arceus cried out in faux-panic.
Three months prior...
"Who am I, Jason," Jack had asked him that evening, after the Legendary Birds had left.
"And for that matter," Arceus began in a pitch-perfect imitation of Jack's voice that left him more than a little uncomfortable. "Who are you again? You do something in the story, right?"
"Does it matter?" he'd replied. "You're my brother, and my best friend; that's enough for me."
"So what if your unknown background places everyone and everything around you under the constant threat of possibly fatal danger?"
Jack sighed. "Until now, that would've been enough for me too. But this business with the Birds got me thinking; I really know nothing about myself. I've had these superhuman abilities for years now, and it's become so normal for us; but where did they come from?"
"I don't know," Jason said.
"Precisely my point. Neither of us know why I'm like this; or why I was in Greenwood that day, or who left me there, or even why I have these robes!" Jack said, his voice steadily rising. "Who am I, Jason?!"
"I don't know," Jason repeated.
(Bridgekeeper: What... is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
King Arthur: What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
Bridgekeeper: Huh? I-I don't know that- WAHHH!)
"Well then, don't you want to find out?" Jack asked.
Jason looked him in the eye. "Why do you? You were always perfectly happy just being Jack Storm; what's changed?"
"What changed," Jack said grimly. "was I realized that I didn't even know who Jack Storm really is."
"Well, who do you want to be?" Jason asked.
Jack sighed. "It doesn't matter who I want to be,
"I'd rather just sing..." Arceus said as a ray of sunlight fell down on him.
"No singing!" Mew shouted.
I want to know who I am. What if I'm putting you, and everyone, in danger just by being near you? Because that's what it seems like to me; there's someone out there who it seems will stop at nothing to get to me, and that paints a big, fluorescent pink target on all of you. I don't even know who he is, or why he's after me.
"But you apparently know he's a he," Arceus commented.
"That's pedantic!" Jack objected from his seat. Mew just coughed something sounding like 'Darth Vader' into her paw.
"So," Jason said, "You're going to lure out the guy who's following you and get some answers out of him.
"Because, you know, that's clearly the safest thing to do," the Alpha deadpanned in Jason's voice.
That sounds like a good enough plan to me."
Jack smiled. "Yeah, but a plan alone won't answer my questions. It has to work first."
"Well then," Jason said. "let's hope it does."
"Oh, you're Jack Storm. You can do anything," Mew said with a laugh. Jack just blinked.
Jason watched thoughtfully as the sky slowly faded from pitch black to a soft grey. The sun had yet to peep over the horizon, but the night was already starting to retreat.
Up until that point, Jack had been going through the traditional trainer's journey for the fun of it. Both Jack and Jason had craved adventure ever since they were young, and the whole 'Trainer's journey' thing seemed like the perfect way to get some. After that day though things were slightly different.
Jason sighed as he leaned on the balcony rail. "'Things' were different? Who am I kidding. 'Things' stayed pretty much the same; it was Jack that changed."
Jason wouldn't have taken any notice of the conversation he'd had with Jack that day,
"Yeah, he's just your brother, it's not like anything he says to you is worth remembering," Arceus commented vapidly.
except that it coincided with a subtle change in Jack's attitude. Looking back now Jason realized that he probably wouldn't have noticed the change if it weren't for that conversation. Funny how the world works, but then that was the root of the problem.
Jason wasn't worried about Jack wanting to know more about his past; that was only natural. What worried Jason, was that his brother had started drifting away from God. Jason had first noticed that Jack wasn't praying and reading his Bible as regularly as he used to; gradually, maybe even unconsciously, Jack had simply gotten out of the habit.
"Watching the sunrise?" Jack said, coming up beside Jason and putting his arms on the railing.
"Yeah," Jason replied.
"You've got that look on your face," Jack said.
"You know, the one where you're happy because you actually get to be in the chapter," the Normal Type carried on in his imitation.
"The one you get when you're thinking hard about something."
Jason looked up at him. "You're the one who gets that look, not me."
Arceus blinked in disbelief before clearing his throat. "Well I know you are, but what am I?"
"Who do you think I got it from?" Jack countered with a grin.
Jason chuckled. "Yeah, I guess that makes sense; I remember how you were always following me around. You must have thought I was the best thing since Mother's Oran Berry soup."
"Well, not quite that good," Jack said jokingly. "But yeah, I really did admire you; you were always the big brother. And then I learned my first move…"
"And you became completely irrelevant to the story," this time Mew was the one to say it. Jack buried his head into his hands.
"It's dead, Jim," he muttered through his fingers. Mew cocked an eyebrow.
"Not bad," the New Species Pokémon said with a small nod.
Jack's grin slowly faded, and his voice took on a sad undertone. "After that, our roles started to reverse; eventually I was the one in charge, and you were the one hanging off of me."
"I was never 'hanging off of you'," Jason said in mock indignation.
"Too easy," Arceus finally admitted.
Jack chuckled and a smile briefly crossed his face, his normal cheerfulness returning for a split second before fading again. That was another thing Jason had noticed; ever since that day, three months ago, Jack had started smiling less and less. He still laughed, he still played and joked around, but it was only skin deep; he was never genuinely happy. He just wasn't his normal cheerful self any more, and Jason missed that more than anything.
"So," Jack said. "What were you thinking about?"
Jason looked up at the brightening sky. "Do you think we'll win?"
Jack grinned confidently. "Are you kidding? We'll wipe the floor with the lot of them; for sure. And when we do, maybe the mysterious stalker will finally make his move."
Jason scowled inwardly. It always came back to the stalker eventually; it had become almost an obsession for Jack, finding the stalker.
"When Captain Ahab went on his Pokémon journey," Arceus said with a small chuckle.
Jack and Jason watched as a red sun rose over an enormous colosseum, with three smaller arenas jutting out from the sides. Each of the four battlefields could be specifically tailored for a different type of terrain, adding an element of unpredictability into the matches held there; it was a marvel of modern architecture and engineering.
Both Legendary Pokémon blinked in confusion.
"Uh," Mew began slowly. "Where are we again?"
In the last three months, they'd beaten the remaining four Gym Leaders of Sinnoh and collected their badges; they'd fought many other trainers as well, defeating most of them with ease. And finally, they'd gotten here; the place all trainers in Sinnoh long to some day. The Lily of the Valley Conference. They had made it into the Sinnoh League.
"Well, nothing worth showing there," Arceus deadpanned.
"To be fair," the Psychic chimed in. "It's not as if the Sinnoh League is the focus of Rising Storm anyhow."
They'd gone through a screening process the day before, which they passed with flying colours;
"I really wonder how that screening process went," the Alpha's eyes narrowed.
League Trainer: Let's see... Jack Storm; Pokémon can inexplicably know more than the four limit move-cap, can inexplicably evolve in the middle of battle, and trainer carries around more Pokémon than legally allowed. Nope, nothing here that violates league policy.
and last night the League Torch had been lit, and the round one match-ups had been announced. None of it really interested Jason, he just wanted this whole business to be over as quickly as possible.
"Because Jason has more interesting things to get back to, like not having any relevant impact on the story," Arceus dropped his head at his latest comment. "But at least being constantly overshadowed by Jack will provide great fuel for a Luigi Death Stare of his own."
"Anyhow," the Alpha began. "The next few paragraphs are just details about new moves Jack's team has learned, how Jack's training as a Jedi Knight is coming along, and how Ivy's taken to being a... Servine? Well, given that Ivy was known as the Pokémon that would never gain any experience, I'm certain there's no story worth telling there either. Regardless, they get on with the Sinnoh League - Jack sees Ash, Paul and Nicholas in the opening ceremony, more flashbacks, and the tournament begins as an end of chapter one."
Jack: It's a bird!
Jason: It's a plane!
"No!" Mew and Arceus cried out in awe simultaneously. "It's Bicycle Repairman!"
The Normal Type cleared his throat. "Anyways, on to chapter two; it opens up with Jack and Jason versus an unnamed trainer and his Charizard, and Jack clearly wins. And so, the trainer decides to send out his Golem - because clearly a Rock Type stands a better chance against a Fighting/Steel Type than his Fire/Flying type did."
"And you're not gonna beat my Golem so easily; Rocky, you're up!"
Jack sighed. "I guess Rocky is technically a real name, but still; couldn't they be a little more creative?"
"We had a Snivy named Ivy," Jason remarked,
"She was the best star pilot in the Galaxy," Mew said solemnly. Jack just facepalmed and Arceus sighed.
"Until she evolved at least."
"Ivy is also a real name," Jack countered. "And besides, I didn't pick that name; her last trainer, Jonathan, did. Anyway, shouldn't we be focussing on the battle; people are giving us weird looks because I'm talking in Pokéspeak."
"Good point; on with the battle then."
"And so they do; the trainer - realizing who his opponent is - decides to cheese the fight by spamming Magnitude, and almost defeats Jason, only for Golem to be felled last minute by its own repetition. And so, to yet again avoid accusations of winning the first battle of the story with only one Pokémon, Jack recalls Jason and decides to give Wendy some fresh air."
Jack held out Jason's Pokéball and recalled him to it; he then slung the Pack around in front of him, and surreptitiously transferred Jason to it. He waited a moment, giving Jason time to tell everyone what was going on, then he punched Wendy's ID number into the interface and transferred her to the Pokéball Jason had been using. The whole thing, thanks to extensive practice, took less than five seconds.
"And the League just allows you to have something like this?" Mew asked to the blond across from here. Jack just shrugged.
"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth?"
He then faced his opponent, who had yet to call out his last Pokémon.
"What's the deal?" the trainer said in a cocky tone. "Afraid my next Pokémon would be able to beat yours?"
Jack rolled his eyes, and chuckled. "No, but one of my other Pokémon wanted to have some fun too; I was going to let her take the last fight, but you lost too quickly."
"Dude, that's harsh!"
"That," Jack thought to himself, "And I'm using you as a training dummy; that's even harsher."
"Wendy, you're up."
[Wendy (Kirlia) Age: 11. Ability: Trace. Moves: Magical Leaf, Hypnosis, Psychic, Teleport, and Light Screen.]
"I see some things never change..." Arceus muttered.
Wendy landed on the battlefield with a smile; it was true, she took every chance she could to impress her 'aunts', Katana and Lucy. Not to mention Aura and Ivy, to whom she was very much a little sister; even though both Aura and Ivy were, in Pokémon years at least, almost as old as Katana and Lucy.
"Okay," the trainer yelled, "Now you're just insulting me; fighting me with a Pokémon that's not even fully evolved yet!"
"Weren't you cocky about five lines ago?"
Jack smirked. "You think so? Then give us your best shot, and see what she can do."
"You tell him, Uncle Jack," Wendy agreed. "Let's kick his ass!"
"When the Powerpuff Girls get serious," Mew commented while Jack blushed.
Jack looked down at her in shock. "Where'd you hear that?"
Wendy tilted her head curiously. "Auntie Katana taught it to me; why?"
Jack put a hand to his forehead. "Katana, you and I are going to have a little talk later."
"Welcome back Katana, we missed you so," Arceus said with a nostalgic sigh.
The trainer gave him a strange look. "If you're all done talking to your Pokémon now; and yeah, I've heard of you and your 'special powers'."
"Who hasn't," Jack said flatly. "It's pretty common knowledge by this point; what's your point?"
"My point," the trainer said, "Is that I think you're cheating!"
Jack's expression was one of complete incomprehension. "Uh… come again?"
The trainer scowled. "I think you're using your powers to cheat in the tournament; that Lucario had way more than four moves. You can't deny it, so fess up!"
The Normal Type blinked and turned back to the trainer behind him. "Are you certain you need me for this? Between this, your dialogue with Jason and the summary you seem to be doing fine on your own."
Jack didn't offer up a response, and Arceus returned to the screen. "Anyhow, Jack once again internally acknowledges he holds an unfair advantage over the majority of the world's population, and this time actually restricts himself to using only four of Wendy's five known moves. Regardless, we all know what the result will be."
With her options disappearing quickly, Wendy teleported right behind Sableye; as soon as it turned around, Wendy used Hypnosis. Sableye looked at her for a second, then its gem-like eyes turned dull and it keeled over; fast asleep on the icy ground.
Wendy took a second to catch her breath, then she used Psychic; not on Sableye, but on one of the icy stalagmites that dotted the field. With a telekinetic strength that would've impressed Mewtwo himself, the young Kirlia broke off the entire column of ice and made it float in mid-air. She brought it over to the sleeping Sableye, and Jack realized what was happening a second before it happened.
Before he could say anything, Wendy dropped the giant chunk of ice on top of Sableye; squashing it flat. Fortunately when Wendy lifted the piece of ice back up, Sableye was only unconscious; otherwise it was completely fine.
"Well," Arceus said. "Better than a Kirlia being able to outright overpower the Pokémon that has a double type advantage over it."
"Wasn't Kirlia given the Fairy Type, though?" Mew chimed in.
"They're even more overpowered than Jack - we can't have that," Arceus replied absentmindedly, while Jack just let out a low growl. "Anyhow, Jack wins the battle and quickly retreats to his suite amid accusations of cheating, ostensibly to get lunch."
"Here you go," the deliveryman said. "One large Meat-lover's, one medium Supreme, two large Three-Cheese and pepperoni, and one medium Orange Islands Special. Are you feeding an army or something?"
"I'm powered by pizza," Arceus replied in Jack's voice.
Jack grinned as he handed the man a handful of bills. "Something like that, yeah;
"The Teen Titans are thinking about recruiting me and I want to make a good impression," this time Mew tried her hand at impersonating Jack. The impromptu lawyer in question snickered at that one.
"Okay guys, dig in."
Jack opened the boxes and began handing out pizza to everyone who didn't have opposable thumbs or telekinetic powers. He'd finished, and was about to take a bite of his slice of Orange Islands Special, when there was a knock at the door.
Jack froze in place, and Jason looked at him curiously. "Who do you think it is?"
Jack got up and walked over to the door. "I don't know; it might be Ash or Nicholas, or it could just be more reporters. Although this place has pretty tight security for non-contestants, so I don't think reporters would be able to get in."
"Why not just check?" Jason asked.
"Telepathically?" Jack replied, placing a hand on the doorknob. "That would spoil the surprise."
Without any further warning, Jack flung the door wide open; when he saw who it was, his face lit up with a broad grin.
"It's you!" he exclaimed happily.
"Norm!" Mew and Arceus cried out at the same time.
"Who else would I be?" Maylene countered. "Long time no see, Jack."
"Maylene's back!" Mew cheered and pumped a paw. Arceus gave a nod in approval.
"Yes, the true star of the story has just arrived in time for chapter three."
"Long time no see, Maylene," Jack said. "What're you doing here?"
Jack looked his old friend over quickly; she was wearing her traditional gym clothes, a blue and black muscle shirt and grey track pants. Obviously modelled after the appearance of her partner, Lucario.
"You look like you came here straight from the gym," Jack continued.
Maylene shrugged. "Hey, the Lily of the Valley Conference is the event of the year; and since there won't be another one for a year, the number of challengers at the gym has dropped to nothing. So, I figured I might as well come and watch; and not just for you either."
"I came for Paul," Arceus said in another pitch-perfect impersonation.
Jack raised an eyebrow. "Is that so; well come in, have some Pizza, and tell me what you mean by that cryptic comment."
"Don't mind if I do," Maylene replied. "And while I'm at it, maybe you can tell me a few things too."
Jack blinked as Maylene walked past him into the main suite. "Didn't I just say something about the cryptic comments?"
Jack shut and locked the door, and went back into the main room; the television was on as, up until a few minutes ago, they'd been watching the other matches of the tournament. Ash's had already finished, with him the victor; they had yet to see anyone else they recognised.
Maylene was already getting the royal treatment from the team; Lucy was nuzzling her leg, Jason was being all formal, and Wendy was three feet off the ground hanging from the gym leader's neck. Ivy and Thomas were the only ones who looked like they had absolutely no idea what was going on.
"So," Maylene said, turning to look at Jack and almost dislodging Wendy from her neck on the process. "I see two new faces here."
Jack nodded. "Yeah, that's right; Ivy and Thomas weren't with us when we challenged you. I'm willing to bet you can guess which one is which."
"Greetings," Thomas said in impeccable, if electronic sounding, English. "My name is Thomas, and I've heard much about you Maylene."
"Jack has told me how you're the only human that he feels comfortable in close physical proximity with," Arceus said in the voice remarkably close to HAL 9000's. Mew snickered while Jack's face turned beet red.
Maylene nearly jumped out of her skin when Thomas started talking; fortunately, Wendy had a firm grip.
"He… he talked!" Maylene exclaimed.
"Yeah," Jack said, "He does that."
Maylene blinked, then shrugged. "Okay then, I'm not questioning anything at this point;
Both Mew and Jack raised an eyebrow in Arceus' direction when he said nothing. The Alpha just shrugged.
"It's perfectly believable that a man-made, computer-generated Pokémon would be capable of speech," he said absently. Mew nodded in approval.
Maylene fixed Jack with a stern look. "Why didn't you tell me you were a move-using superhero?!"
Jack blinked. "Come again."
Maylene folded her arms. "These last few months, do you know what's been dominating every single media outlet in Sinnoh? You! The whole region is buzzing about you, and I got singled out as someone who knew you personally; the reporters were bad enough, but when the fangirls started showing up…"
"Fangirls?" Jack exclaimed, trying to keep up.
"They used to be Ash's," Arceus sighed as he continued with his impersonation. "But after they heard how overpowered you were they quickly became yours."
"Never mind that," Maylene said quickly, before continuing at a somewhat more calm pace. "Sorry, I think I rambled on a bit. It's just, I wish you'd said something; when I heard how you fought off two of the Legendary Bird trio, there were so many questions I wanted to ask you."
Jack shrugged and sat down on a nearby couch. "We've got a while, ask away."
"Really?" Maylene asked excitedly, sitting down as well. "Okay then, let's see… Oh yeah, I know," she fixed him with another stern look. "When we sparred way back when you were staying at the dojo, how much were you holding back?"
Jack grinned a little. "What makes you think I was holding back?"
"I knew it!" Maylene exclaimed with a grin. "You were going easy on me! The nerve, toying with me like that."
"I swear I wasn't," Jack said, raising his hands above his head in the universal sign of surrender.
"Yeah, right," Maylene said. "I'll believe that when Piloswine fly."
"But in all honesty," Jack said. "I really didn't hold back when we sparred; I couldn't afford to. Whatever advantage I had in strength and speed, you made up for with superior training and technique; you were more than my equal, in martial arts at least, and I learned a lot from you."
Maylene smiled. "Thank you, I'm glad to hear that; but it begs the question, what about now?"
Jack sighed. "I was hoping you wouldn't ask that."
"But you knew I would," Maylene said with a grin.
"Yup."
"Ah, how I've missed these interactions," Arceus said nostalgically. Both Mew and Jack raised an eyebrow.
"Well then?" the gym leader asked. "Shall we take this outside?"
Jack shook his head. "There's a reason I'm in here, instead of watching the matches; if I set foot outside of this hotel, the press is going to be on me like Joltik on a power line. It's a miracle there's anyone covering the matches at all."
"Then I hate to see what the tabloids will have to say about Maylene visiting you in your hotel room," Arceus deadpanned - Jack's face went white as a sheet.
Jack glanced over at the television, which was still playing softly; everyone else, except for Wendy who was still sitting in Maylene's lap, was watching the ongoing tournament. The current match was between a brown-haired boy and his Machamp, and…
"Turn that up," Jack commanded.
Jason, who had the remote control, obliged.
"...I repeat," the announcer said, "The fight between James, a trainer from Floaroma Town, and Tobias, who is said to have defeated all the gym leaders using only his Darkrai, is almost finished. Tobias's Darkrai has already defeated two of James's Pokémon, leaving only his Machamp to fight."
As they watched, Tobias's Darkrai landed Ice Beam and Dark Pulse attacks in rapid succession, leaving Machamp unconscious.
"I remember him," Maylene said.
"Yeah, he's that character they threw into the Sinnoh League last minute so it can't be said Ash actually won something!" Mew shouted from her seat. Arceus just rolled his eyes.
"Anyhow, Jack continues to think about Tobias until a news flash hits the screen."
"In other news," the announcer continued,
"The city of Townsville is-" Arceus was cut off as a rubber chicken slammed into the back of his head.
"You've already done that joke," Mew muttered.
"Three months into the outbreak of the Second Saldaran Civil War, the terrorist group known as Alpha has now overrun the Saldaran military defending the city of Cynder Falls. Things are looking decidedly grim for the Saldara Region and its citizens."
"Saldara..." Arceus said hesitantly. "That's a salsa, right?"
Jack and Mew both facepalmed.
"Alpha?" Jack muttered. "Where have I…"
"The laboratory," Thomas said.
Jack snapped his fingers. "That's right, the old base; talk about a small world."
"Indeed," Thomas commented.
"Sorry, what's that about?" Maylene asked.
"We met Thomas in an old abandoned laboratory," Jack explained. "It was run by those guys, Alpha; a terrorists group from Saldara apparently. Maybe they needed a remote location to conduct their research."
Maylene nodded. "Makes sense.
"And it's not like I have to be concerned about you having a Pokémon that was formerly owned and probably engineered by terrorists or anything," Arceus said with a role of the eyes. "Anyhow, Maylene finally convinces Jack to engage in a sparring match."
"Why did you have to pick the biggest arena in the immediate vicinity?" Maylene asked.
Jack shrugged. "If it's worth doing, it's worth overdoing."
"Our story's motto, everyone," Arceus said, Mew lazily giving a golf clap in the background.
"But still," Maylene said. "Weren't you the one complaining about the press? Well, you might as well have set up a giant neon sign; I mean, seriously. You get to pick the arena, and you pick this?"
"You know, I think I'm going to go take a break, you seem to have things covered," Arceus said to Jack, only for Mew to float up and stop the Alpha before he could reach the door.
"Sorry Arcy, but it's legally mandated," the Alpha just grumbled but returned to the computer.
Around them, like the sides of a giant bowl, rose the Lily of the Valley Colosseum; the single largest stadium in Sinnoh. The manager was more than happy to let Jack and Maylene use it, provided he got to charge entry for anyone who wanted to watch; Jack agreed. To put it bluntly, the manager was set to make a small fortune.
Once word got out, as it always does, that Jack and Maylene were going to have a sparring match, every Tom, Dick, and Harry on Lily of the Valley Island were falling over themselves to be there; nobody else cared, but there were more than enough people named Tom, Dick, or Harry to fill the stadium to bursting.
Jack grinned. "Think of it this way; unless we hop on over to Mt. Coronet real quick, people are going to catch wind of our little match. We'll be swarmed by reporters anyway, so we might as well at least charge them for the show; this way we're supporting a worthy cause."
Maylene gave him a knowing look. "Oh, I see now."
Jack raised one eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
"You're not as opposed to all the attention you're getting as you'd like everyone to believe," Maylene said with a grin.
Arceus chuckled a little more genuinely than he would have liked. "And that's why I'm here."
Jack smirked. "I have my reasons."
"Whatever," Maylene said. "But since we've got such a crowd here, it would be unfair of us not to give them a worthwhile show. Wouldn't you say?"
Jack raised his eyebrow again. "What exactly did you have in mind?"
"A three on three battle, it would seem," Arceus said. "And if you think that Jack is going to curbstomp Maylene..."
Aura had almost completed the exercise, when suddenly Machamp seemed to appear in front of her from out of nowhere; before Aura could react, it slammed its fists into the ground in a powerful Earthquake attack.
The shockwave shattered Aura's concentration and interrupted her move.
"How in the reverse world... " Jack exclaimed to himself. "How is Machamp so fast?!"
"You're not the only ones who've gotten stronger," Maylene said, as if she could hear his thoughts. "This isn't going to be a one sided match like your last one; if you want to beat me, you'd better give it your all!"
"You're probably still right but at least she'll put up a much better fight than before," the Alpha said quickly.
Jack grinned and cracked his neck. "As you wish. Aura, Extremespeed!"
The moment he called the order, Aura was off like a bolt of blue light; she slammed into Machamp like a cannonball, pushing him back several feet. But before Aura could retreat back to a safe distance, two of Machamp's four arms shot out and grabbed her.
Before Jack could react, Machamp slammed Aura into the ground and then used Earthquake; the attack left Aura dazed, but she managed to dart away before Machamp could follow up with another attack. Still, Aura was in trouble; she'd taken massive damage, and was shell-shocked from the hits.
"Aura, return," Jack said grimly, pulling out a Pokéball and recalling her to it. "I didn't expect her to be so strong," he grinned. "I guess I don't have to hold back then. Jason, you're up!"
"Well, um," Arceus coughed quietly. "This pattern has happened before?"
Jason had barely set foot on the arena, before he was off like an avenging angel; he blasted Machamp off its feet with Psychic, and then went in for the kill with Focus Punch. The two hits sent the Superpower Pokémon flying, and it crashed into the ground in front of Maylene; when the dust cleared however, Machamp was still standing.
"You'll have to do better than that," Maylene said. "Machamp doesn't go down easily."
Jack and Jason gritted their teeth in unison; this was getting ridiculous. Before Jack even gave the order, Jason shot towards the towering Machamp with Metal Claw. Machamp waited until the last moment, and then countered with Earthquake. Jason was expecting something like that, and launched himself into the air; landing a critical hit from above.
Jason was about to follow up with Force Palm, but Machamp was no longer there; Jason didn't even have time to turn around as Machamp grabbed him from behind. Jason let loose a blast of aura, but Machamp barely seemed to feel it; before Jason could try anything else, the Superpower Pokémon used Vital Throw and tossed Jason halfway across the battlefield.
The Normal Type finally shook his head. "And, after a hard fought and admittedly nail-biting battle, Jason finally wins and knocks out Maylene's Machamp; she calls out her Lucario just in time for chapter four."
"You've both grown much since the last time we saw each other," Lucario said. "I look forward to seeing exactly how much."
Jack and Jason looked at each other; aside from Greninja, Maylene's Lucario was the single strongest opponent they'd ever fought. If Machamp was anything to go by, Lucario must be far stronger now as well; this might not end well.
"Are you ready Jason?" Jack said with a confidence he didn't feel.
Jason nodded. "I'll try not to beat him up too badly."
Jack and Maylene called their attacks at exactly the same time, but neither Lucario nor Jason needed to hear it to know what the opening move would be. Auric bone met auric bone, as the two clashed with Bone Rush; the only thing the audience could see were repeated flashes of blue light.
At times, the flashes came so quickly that one was impossible to distinguish from the next; they blurred together into a blue glow so intense it was impossible to look at directly. Both sides were totally focussed on one thing, and one thing alone; victory. There was no time to think of anything else, one lapse in concentration would mean defeat; and neither of them was going to lose this.
Then, so quickly that no one saw it happen, Jason was flung backwards by a blow so powerful it created a shockwave which raised a cloud of dust in its wake. Jason righted himself mid-air with Psychic, and launched a blast of aura down at Lucario; the older Pokémon batted it aside with Bone Rush and launched himself into the air at Jason with Mach Punch.
Jason was taken completely by surprise, and threw up a hasty auric shield which Lucario shattered with contemptuous ease; Lucario's Mach Punch landed like ton of bricks, and sent Jason crashing to the ground. Lucario readied a Bone Rush and prepared to bring it down on Jason's prone form, but Jason flipped himself into a handstand at the last moment and lashed out with his legs at Lucario's midriff.
Lucario fell headlong onto Jason's impromptu Counter attack, and was knocked across the arena; he got up, gasping for breath.
"Impressive," Lucario said once he'd recovered his breath. "You learned well, but it is time we ended this little duel."
"I was about to say the same thing, Master," Jason replied.
(Obi-Wan: It's over, Anakin! I have the high ground!)
Neither trainer had to say a word; this was between Jason and Lucario now. As one, their dreadlocks standing on end, the two Pokémon began gathering as much aura as they could; they summoned so much power,
"They exploded. The end," Arceus said dully. Mew gaped.
As one, they released their attacks at the other; the explosion tore up the ground like sand, and was so bright it almost blinded the onlookers. Neither attack had overwhelmed the other, it was a stalemate; but it wasn't over.
Before the glow even began to dissipate, Jason and Lucario were off; syphoning aura from the air as they went, concentrating it into their paws. They raced straight at each other, through the auric maelstrom left behind by their previous attacks, unable to even see their opponent but with no doubt as to where he was, and used Focus Punch.
When the glow finally dissipated, and the spots had disappeared from people's eyes, the two auric titans were standing about ten feet apart with their backs to each other. Then, as one, they turned around and looked at their opponent; a look of what could only be described as respect passed between them, and then as one they fell backwards onto the ground. Both unconscious.
"Because, you know, letting Maylene's Lucario win would mean that Jack's last Pokémon would have to take out two of hers, and so the better option was to let the heavily damaged Pokémon defeat the equally matched but perfectly healthy one," the Normal Type deadpanned.
Jack and Maylene recalled their respective Pokémon, and then looked at each other.
"Our Pokémon have fought hard," Jack said, "For the sake of us finding out who's stronger."
"Yeah," Maylene said with a small grin, catching his drift. "They really got into it; but this is between you and me, isn't it."
"You've got that right," Jack agreed, mirroring her grin. "Let's finish this."
The two trainers reached for the belts on which they stored their six Pokéballs; as one, they undid the buckles and let their belts fall to the ground. They were both already dressed for a fight.
To a roar of approval from the crowds,
"Oh, look at the bloodsport, honey," Arceus said in a high-pitched feminine voice.
"But I came for a Pokémon battle!" Mew replied in a voice even more child-like than her normal one.
"I'm sorry deary, but at least you get to see someone rip someone's arms out of their sockets," Mew started faux-crying while Jack facepalmed.
They circled a few times, but Jack didn't feel like wasting time; in a move straight out of one of Maylene's lessons, Jack leapt into the air and spun to gain momentum. When he was almost on top of Maylene, he extended his leg and brought it down on her head like a hammer. Or at least, that was the plan.
At the last second, Maylene reached up and grabbed Jack's leg with one hand; she let gravity pull the rest of Jack's body down until it was in range, then she spun in place and kicked Jack across the arena.
Jack was caught completely by surprise; not as much by the fact that Maylene had stopped his attack, as how she'd stopped it. She was incredibly strong, far stronger than she was last time they sparred; he was tempted to call it superhuman, but he didn't see how that was possible. Unless…
"They got teleported into the 2003 Star Wars: Clone Wars!" Mew exclaimed - this time Arceus snickered.
"I think the entire series can be classified as that, Mew..."
With an air of resignation, Jack raised his right arm into the air; above the stadium, dark clouds began to gather.
"Differently colored," Mew corrected. Arceus rolled his eyes while Jack facepalmed.
"Really, that's the best you could come up with?"
"Thundercats ho?" Arceus replied hesitantly - he was rewarded by Mew slapping him with the rubber chicken again.
Without any further warning, a bolt of electricity arced down from the clouds and struck Jack's outstretched hand;
"I have the-"
"DON'T!" Arceus and Jack screamed simultaneously, putting a quick end to Mew's impending comment.
Jack had two reasons for this display of power; the first was the same reason he wanted to hold the match in the stadium, and make it a public event. He wanted to call attention to himself, and how powerful he had become; someone was stalking him, and Jack wanted to bait them into making their move where and when he could control the terms of their engagement.
The second reason for this, was that he had an itch in the back of his head; a doubt, one which he wanted to either confirm or disprove for certain.
"At this point," he thought to himself, "I'm certain I'm the reason my Pokémon are so… unique. Somehow, and for some reason, me being around them has made them more powerful than is natural; maybe I was around Maylene's Pokémon long enough to have the same effect on them. What troubles me though, is that now Maylene herself is showing almost superhuman strength and reflexes; what if it's not just Pokémon who become more powerful from being around me too long?"
Jack didn't have an answer to that question; partly because it was rhetorical. Even so, he wanted to know for sure whether Maylene had the same kind of superhuman abilities he did. From what he'd already seen, she was still no match for him; especially not when he was lightning-charged. That being the case, now was the perfect time to surreptitiously test Maylene's newfound power.
With the same amount of physical effort as it would normally take to hop a few inches off the ground, Jack launched himself twenty feet into the air and landed behind a very surprised Maylene; she got over her shock quickly, and roundhouse-kicked him in the face.
Jack took the full force of the impact, and didn't move so much as a centimetre; then responded with the exact same move, a roundhouse-kick. He timed it precisely so that a person with even a slightly above-average reaction time wouldn't be able to dodge it; lo and behold, Maylene evaded it with almost contemptuous ease.
"Anyhow, this episode of Dragon Ball Z carries on for a while until Jack pulls off the move that lost Anakin three of his limbs and ends the match."
Maylene flew halfway across the battlefield, and hit the ground hard; she rolled several feet before coming to a stop. To Jack's relief, she got up; she looked exhausted, and she was bruised all over, but that was about it. Even so, Jack could see in her eyes that she knew she'd lost.
Jack walked over to the beaten gym leader, and offered her his hand; she shook it, and then pulled Jack into a tight hug. He was initially surprised, but then he figured he should just accept it; it was a friendly hug, between two comrades.
"Tell that to the stadium full of screaming fangirls," Arceus deadpanned.
Even so, Jack could hear the crowds going wild above them; he had a sneaking suspicion that this scene would be viral by tomorrow, and most likely blown out of all proportion as well.
Even so, as he and Maylene walked back to his suite, he was happy; or maybe… content would be a better word to describe it. Maylene was a good friend, and he was happy to see her again. Her newfound power was a troubling omen, but that didn't really bother him as much as it originally had; at the very least he was confident that, if Maylene did become like him, the power would be in good hands. Better than his at any rate.
As they were walking down the hotel corridor to Jack's suite, Maylene suddenly stumbled; Jack caught her before she could fall, but he could see that she was in worse shape than she let on.
"Are you okay?" Jack asked, putting his right arm around her shoulders.
"Yeah," she said. "I'm okay; just tired."
"I'm sorry," Jack said. "I took it too far."
Maylene shook her head. "No, if it's anyone's fault it's mine; this whole thing was my idea, and I egged you on at every turn. Even when I knew I couldn't beat you."
"You came pretty close though," Jack said. "Here, let me help."
Before Maylene could object Jack put his right arm behind her back, swept his left one under her legs, and began carrying her down the hall bridal-style.
Arceus and Mew both slowly turned to look at the lawyer sitting in the back.
"Very friendly, indeed," the Alpha said dryly - all three of them blinked in surprise when the door to the room swung open.
"I ship it!" Genesect shouted from the doorway. Arceus and Mew both raised an eyebrow as Hideyoshi wrestled the Pokémon out of the doorframe.
"Well we did want more Maylene," Mew conceded. "I don't mind."
Arceus just let out a gruff acknowledgement and turned back to the computer.
"I don't need your help," Maylene said, somewhat softer than she intended.
Jack looked down at her and grinned. "It doesn't look like you mind all that much; besides, you're not exactly in a position to refuse."
"So, you're going to help me whether I like it or not?" Maylene said skeptically.
Jack nodded. "That's the general idea, yeah."
Maylene sighed and closed her eyes. "If that's the case, then I guess it's alright. Thanks," she added, as if it was just an afterthought.
It took all of Jack's willpower not to laugh, or stare; he'd spent the better part of a month training with Maylene, and pretty much living in her house for all that time, but this was a side of her which he'd never seen before. She was never exactly a stickler for tradition or ceremony, but she still usually maintained a certain amount of decorum.
Jack had always looked up to Maylene as his teacher, but now he was the stronger one. More than that, if her abilities evolved any further he might have to help her master and control them; so what was she to him now? And just as importantly, how did she see him?
"Anyhow, after the two finish their S-Support-" this time Arceus was cut off as he was hit with a barrage of rubber chickens from the two in the back. The Alpha shot a harsh glance over his shoulder that did nothing, and then awkwardly cleared his throat and returned to the computer. "And another piece of shameless advertising, we transition into chapter five. Jack hears a knocking on his door and finds another familiar face."
"Nicholas!" Jack exclaimed happily.
"How's it going Jack," the red-headed trainer replied, holding out his hand to Jack. "Long time no see."
Jack shook the outstretched hand enthusiastically. "No kidding; I was glad to see you made it, I'm sorry I couldn't catch your first match."
Nicholas grinned. "Yeah, well I saw both of yours; but how on earth did you end up sparring with a Gym Leader? And here of all places."
Jack shrugged. "Maylene and I are old friends; and since the number of challengers at her gym has dropped to zero thanks to this tournament, she decided to drop by and watch."
"Cool," Nicholas replied, grinning cheekishly. "You must be quite the lady's man, to have attracted a gym leader."
Jack chuckled and shook his head. "If I thought you were being serious… But no, you've got the wrong idea altogether; I just trained with her in Veilstone City for a while, she taught me most of what I know about martial arts."
"So, where is she now?" Nicholas asked, peering past Jack into the room. "Last I saw, the two of you were headed in this direction; is she here?"
"She's recovering," Jack said defensively. "I overdid it with that last move."
"So she's sleeping it off," Nicholas said, grinning like a Meowth that just cornered a Rattata. "But where exactly?"
Jack sighed in defeat. "My bed."
"Order Maylene now and get free shipping!" Mew started giggling at that.
Nicholas laughed. "I believe I've proved my point."
"You had a point?" Jack said sarcastically, raising an eyebrow.
"I thought you just dropped by so we could tie this back to the first book."
"Not really," Nicholas said with a shrug. "Anyway, we really need to catch up on what's been going... Is that Pizza I smell?"
Jack shrugged. "Sorry, we've already finished off the last of it."
Nicholas sank to his knees in mock despair. "No, please; say it ain't so…"
Jack chuckled at the display. "Sorry, but that's that; if you wanted Pizza, you should have ordered some yourself."
Nicholas perked up almost immediately, as though seized by a sudden revelation. "That's not a bad idea," he said thoughtfully. "You had that Pizza for lunch, right? So I'll buy us all Pizza for dinner; my treat."
"Pizza for two meal in a row?" Jack questioned. "That can't be healthy, for Pokémon or human."
Nicholas shrugged. "Who cares? You only live once."
"If so," Jack countered, "Then you should probably try not to get diabetes while you're here."
Nicholas sighed. "You make a good point; fine then, I'll only buy Pizza for my team since we didn't have any, and we just won't give any to you."
"H-hold on now," Jack said in a tone of mock-panic. "let's not be too hasty…"
Arceus didn't say anything, but Mew got the impression he was smiling.
Jack and Nicholas stood staring at each other for a moment, then both of them burst out laughing.
"It's good to see you again," Nicholas said when he was finished laughing.
"Same here," Jack agreed. "Come on in, I've got some things I want to discuss with you."
In truth, Jack knew exactly what he wanted to talk about; he'd spent plenty of time travelling with Nicholas, and Jack had a sneaking suspicion that the red-headed trainer might have absorbed some of his power as well.
"Hey guys," Jack said as he and Nicholas entered the main room. "Guess who's here?"
"Newman!" Arceus and Mew shouted simultaneously.
"Anyways," the Alpha continued. "Jack and Nicholas' teams go outside the suite to catch up while Jack and Nicholas sit down and catch up themselves. This goes on for a while until Nicholas realizes it's almost time for the next round matchups to be announced. As Jack can't write - but can somehow read - Nicholas offers to leave a note for Maylene to let her know where they've gone before heading straight into chapter six. And after finishing his match, Jack decides to watch the other matches amidst some hostile stares form the competition."
Jack grinned. "So, Ash made it to the second round; and now he's qualified for the third too. I wonder who else made it…"
Just then, Jack noticed a face on another screen; his grin faded as he recognized it. Paul had also won his round two match, and without a single Pokémon knocked out.
"Well," Jack mumbled sarcastically, "That's all I needed; first Tobias, now Paul's still in it too; with my luck, I'll be fighting one of them next round…"
Jack watched the rest of the matches closely; all thirteen of them. He didn't recognize any of the other winners except for Tobias, who once again won with only his Darkrai; aside from him, Ash, and Paul, none of the other round two winners would be much trouble to beat as they were.
"Just a quick reminder I'm the most OP thing since Meta Knight in Brawl; can't let people forget that even in the Sinnoh League no one stands a chance against me," Arceus said in Jack's voice, much to his consternation.
Then the last round two match started, and Jack suddenly knew he'd forgotten someone on that list.
"Nicholas," Jack said with a nod. "Let's see how strong you've become."
The answer, quite frankly, was somewhat frightening; Nicholas not only won his match but he won only using two Pokémon. The red-haired trainer called out Sunspot first, and the Infernape blew through his opponent's first two Pokémon like it was nothing; Nicholas then recalled Sunspot and sent out Frostbite, who made short work of their opponent's last Pokémon.
In all, it was obvious that Nicholas was in a completely different league from the other trainer; in fact, Jack was almost as apprehensive about fighting him as he was about Tobias.
"In between intense sessions of defeating veterans with Pokémon he's just met, Jack also moonlights as a power plant," Arceus ignored the glares he was getting. "Anyhow, Jack goes to the computer room to study up on Tobias much like Ash did, he runs into another familiar face."
"Paul," Jack said grimly.
There was a clap of thunder followed by the opening of Toccata and Fugue.
"Jack Storm," Paul replied; his demeanor was calm and cold as always, but Jack could see fear in his eyes. Paul was still afraid of him after all this time, and he had good right to be.
"I suppose running into you was only a matter of time," Jack said.
"Indeed," Paul replied. "I knew it was inevitable from the moment I saw you in the first round match-ups."
"I'll never forgive you, you know," Jack said sharply. "I'll never forgive you for how you treated Lucy, the Absol I rescued from you all those months ago; you never even knew how much she'd already suffered when you found her, and yet she suffered more at your hands than at anyone else's."
"If she suffered so much, then TELL ME!"
Paul half-shouted the last two words in Jack's face, as though challenging him to react in anger; Paul stared into Jack's eyes and Jack saw the boy's fear, but he also saw defiance. Disbelief even; Paul didn't believe him, or didn't want to believe.
"Well, this looks promising," Arceus said neutrally.
Jack came to a decision. "Follow me,"
"I'll kill you over here," came the impersonation.
Jack and Paul sat opposite each other at a table, and Jack began recounting Lucy's story. How her peaceful, happy childhood was shattered by poachers, who killed her parents and separated her from her older brother; how she got shunted from one cruel, abusive trainer to the next before eventually being abandoned at a Pokémon Daycare.
He told Paul how, at that daycare, Lucy finally found some friends and was happy again for a time, until he came around.
"You were the worst of any trainer she'd ever had," Jack said. "You took her away from the only happiness she'd known since she lost her parents, and you forced her to 'train' every day until all she could do was collapse on the ground, with bleeding welts on her back from enduring so many attacks. She isolated herself from your other Pokémon because she didn't want to be betrayed again; she assumed that anyone who tried to get close to her would hurt and betray her eventually, because pain and betrayal were all she knew! From what she told me, you were even planning on having her breed with one of your other Pokémon; as though she were just a dumb animal!"
By the time he finished, Jack was almost shouting in barely-restrained fury; but then he calmed down, and stared Paul in the eyes.
"I can only thank God that I won her from you before you could do that, or anything else to her," Jack said, his anger going from intensely hot to bitterly cold in a matter of seconds, as he stared Paul down.
The purple-haired trainer took in Jack's words silently, and then stood up without a word and walked away from Jack towards the door of the Center; Jack watched him go, but didn't try to stop him. He'd gotten himself all worked up, and he didn't trust himself not to let his anger manipulate him. But then, just as the door closed behind Paul, Jack saw a flash of light reflect off the boy's chin; as if it were wet.
Jack's anger faded away like fog before the afternoon sun, and was replaced by confusion; had his story actually... gotten through to Paul? If so, then this was not the same arrogant trainer he'd met in the forest all those months ago; Jack just hoped he was actually right about that.
Arceus just turned back to the lawyer in the corner and gave a firm nod. Jack blinked a few times - in confusion or amazement, not even he knew.
Seeing no point on dwelling on it further, and remembering his reason for coming here in the first place, Jack got up and went back to the second floor computer room. As he opened the door, he saw Ash, Dawn, Brock, and two other boys talking over at the computers; one had straw-blond hair and was wearing an orange and white striped shirt, and this other had dark green hair, glasses, and was wearing a green shirt and jacket.
"Tobias?" Ash asked the green-haired boy.
"He's the trainer who won both his first and second round, using only his Darkrai the whole time," the green-haired trainer replied.
"Only Darkrai for the second round too?" Ash said.
"True," the trainer said. "And that's not all; Tobias won all eight of his gym battles using only his Darkrai as well."
"That's what I heard," Jack said, walking over to them. "Is there any good information on him?"
"Jack," Ash exclaimed. "You're here looking for Tobias's data too?"
Jack nodded and was about to say something when the other trainer, the blond one, interrupted him.
"You… You're Jack Storm, aren't you!" the blond trainer exclaimed.
Jack shrugged. "Yeah, pretty much; apparently my reputation precedes me."
"I'll say," the trainer said excitedly. "Aside from this Tobias guy, you're all anyone ever talks about around here."
"And you would be…" Jack asked him.
"My name is Barry," he said.
"And I'm cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs! Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!" Arceus shouted out in his voice before letting a chuckle escape. "Who doesn't love Barry?"
"Remember it, because I'm the guy who's gonna beat you."
"And my name is Conway," the other trainer said.
"The guy who would be stalking Dawn if Pokémon wasn't a kid's show."
"Why were you looking up Tobias's data anyway?"
Conway smiled and nodded towards Jack. "For the same reason he is, I'll bet; because at some point, we might get matched up. After I beat Ashy, of course."
"What was that?!" Ash exclaimed, springing from his seat.
Conway chuckled. "Well anyway, have yourselves a lovely night; bye Dawn."
"I'm off to build the Kyurem Cannon."
With that, Conway disappeared behind one of the dividing walls separating the rows of computers; Jack didn't even see the trainer leave the room, although a quick scan with an auric probe told him that he had.
Dawn sighed; apparently she didn't like this Conway guy as much as he seemed to like her.
"I give up," Barry said, standing up, "No sense in making myself nuts."
"Now that's the spirit!" Ash said enthusiastically. "Just go for it!"
"You're right," Barry agreed, equally enthusiastic. "Just go for it!"
"Like you're going for broke," Dawn commented, although she didn't seem to share the boys' enthusiasm.
"Wanna go for a run?" Barry asked Ash.
"You bet, that's a great idea!" Ash replied.
The two trainers raced out of the room like a pair of Linoon, leaving everyone else slightly confused.
"What are they running for?" Dawn said, clearly not amused.
"They're trying to burn off some of their excitement," Brock said.
"Are they always like this?" Jack said.
Dawn sighed.
"Well, Ash is already the Tasmanian Devil, and Barry's Roadrunner," Arceus began in an imitation of the bluenette.
"Barry is, and he rubs off on Ash whenever they're near each other."
"I see," Jack said with a grin. "They're good friends then?"
Brock nodded. "Yeah; we ran into Barry a long time ago, literally ran into him, and he and Ash struck off well."
"They're too much alike not to," Dawn said. "They're both children at heart."
Jack grinned. "I hear all the best people are."
"Tell that to Iris!" Arceus, Mew and even Jack all shouted at the same time.
"Jinx!" Mew cried out before leveling a paw in Jack's direction. "You owe me a Soda Pop."
"What!? Why me?"
"Because Arcy doesn't have any money," she deadpanned. Jack facepalmed.
"He's Arceus! Can't he just conjure up some Poké?"
"Are you asking me to inflate the economy?" Arceus shot back in the most exaggerated voice he could muster. "I'm already on trial for being a rip-off, thank you."
Jack couldn't bring himself to respond.
"Anyway, we'd better get going," Brock said. "It was nice seeing you again Jack, good luck with your next match."
"Thanks," Jack replied. "Tell Ash I wished him good luck with his; that Conway guy looks like he could be trouble."
"He's definitely trouble…" Dawn said ruefully.
"We'll tell him," Brock said. "See you."
After Brock and Dawn were gone, Jack turned to the first computer he saw.
"Now then Nicholas," he said to thin air. "Let's see what the internet knows about you."
Arceus chuckled. "Ah, those were the days. Anyways, as the final line would imply, the next chapter transitions into Jack and Nicholas' battle-"
A soft knock on the door followed by it opening cut off the critic. Hideyoshi poked his head in and cleared his throat.
"Sorry to interrupt, but time's up," Mew blinked.
"Already?"
"I'm just amazed I even got through six chapters in thirty minutes," Arceus muttered as he floated out of the room, his ankle weights leaving drag marks on the tile as the four returned to the courtroom.
"In conclusion, your honor," Mew then gestured to Arceus, impassively looking at her from behind the defendant's table. "After reprogramming the mining droids to mine the miners, he set off a series of flawlessly timed explosions in the mining tunnels to herd them into their dormitories, where they could be effortlessly gassed. He then administered a lethal dose of sedatives to the remaining miners in the medbay - enough to kill them, but ensure that Jack Storm slept peacefully."
Total quiet reigned in the courtroom until it was shattered by Arceus slamming his face into the table.
"Mew..." he groaned. The New Species Pokémon in question let out an uneasy chuckle as she floated up to Keldeo.
"Sorry, Arcy, I couldn't resist," the prosecutor then cleared her throat. "Here's the video tape, your honor, and now we can get to the bottom of this."
Keldeo took it with a small nod and, balancing it on his hooves, pushed it into the VHS player behind him. The courtroom lights dimmed as the television flickered to life; every pair of eyes in the room was trained on it as the old-fashioned reel counted down from five. To everyone's surprise, however, rather than Arceus appearing on the screen, a forties-styled caption card bearing the title 'Why Vacation in Bournemouth?' did.
"Fast forward!" Mew commanded before she turned to the defendant. "For your sake Arcy, you've exhausted every single possible variation of that joke now!"
The only response she got out of the Alpha was a chuckle as Keldeo skipped through the opening short to the actual review. The next thirty minutes were spent in relative silence, save a few scandalous chuckles from the gallery at certain points. Keldeo blinked in disbelief when, rather than end when Arceus was told his time was up, the video instead showed the Colt Pokémon watching the video. Keldeo then hesitantly raised a hoof - the Keldeo on the television did too. The next thing anyone knew was that the Sword of Justice had cut the television in half with a Secret Sword and turned back to the courtroom like nothing had happened.
"Well," he began, smoothing out his judicial robes. "I don't think that will suffice."
"Huh?" at least four different people asked at the same time. Keldeo nodded.
"Yep. We'll need a full review before we can reach a verdict."
"A full review!?" Arceus' head shot up. "But the story's not even complete yet!"
A Note from the Author:
Well, Jack Storm advised me to stop at chapter thirty one, so we'll just go up to that point.
Arceus' face scrunched up at the disembodied voice from above. "I thought we agreed you would stay in the Author's notes.
The Continued Note from the Author:
Well, you interrupted me at the beginning of the chapter. Besides; we've given all the recurring characters cameos for our 40th chapter extravaganza. The Creation Trio, Jack Storm, Hideyoshi, Kyurem, Genesect, the Spanish Inquistion, Bournemouth... It's only fair I get to drop in.
The Alpha blinked in disbelief. "Wait, fortieth chapter? This is the thirty-fifth!"
The Concluded Note from the Author:
Well, we'll be dragging this review out for six chapters, and this is just the first. Good luck.
And, to the faint sound of a choir, the Author's notes came to an end. Arceus buried his face in the desk below. "Oh, good me..."
Mew cleared her throat and looked up at Keldeo. "Permission to end the chapter, your honor?"
"Granted."
"Thank you, m'lud," Mew then reached underneath the prosecutor's table and pulled out a record player. Arceus looked up when he heard the opening notes of Yes' Roundabout echo throughout the courtroom, just in time to see Mew holding up an arrow-shaped sign that read...
To Be Continued...