Ch 3- Motherfucking Lady
Now that she done with her classes, she was spending more time with her sister and with her friends...and that meant that she was occasionally seeing Merle. It wasn't surprising to her that the attraction between them was still there.
It was kind of hard to tell how he was feeling, Merle Dixon was doing his best to be a closed book. It seemed like he wanted nothing to do with her...and yet...if she didn't know better she would say that he was running interference between her and any man that showed the tiniest bit of interest.
So he wanted her...but maybe he didn't want to want her.
It gave her hope.
Beth spent a little too much time trying to decide if he was acting more like a jealous boyfriend or like a protective big brother. She was quite certain that her feelings towards him was nothing approaching a brother and sister vibe. One minute he was there overpowering her with his bigger than life personality...and the next he would be gone...like smoke in the wind, as if he had never been there to begin with.
She agreed to go the biker bar with Maggie and Tara, determined to pin him down if she saw him there.
Merle Dixon was not the sort of man that she would have ever went after...but there was no way she was going to just back away from the challenge that he presented. At least not without giving it one more shot.
So she let Maggie and Amy play dress-up with her...only because Merle seemed to appreciate her "bar" clothing that first time they had met, so she supposed that she might as well bait the hook with something she knew that he already had a taste for.
The bar was filled with girls with similar clothing...and filled with men just as big and bad as Merle Dixon. Here at this bar this was the norm. She looked at herself in the dirty mirror...inside the dirty bathroom. She felt like an imposter, why was she doing this? Trying to be someone she wasn't, to be with someone who she wasn't even sure she wanted 100%. Someone who she wasnt even sure wanted to have another night with her.
Looser.
Looking around she saw no sign of Merle, and pushed down her mixed feelings.
So she figured if it was meant to be...than it would happen. In the meantime she was going to have fun, make a few friends and do her best to not worry about Merle Dixon and what it was that he wanted from her, or she from him.
Merle was glad to see Beth. He was always glad to see her. But he was still on the fence. He would slide to one side or the other...frequently. But for the most part, he was stuck.
And it pissed him off. Merle Dixon wasn't born to be no fuckin' fence sitter.
Hell, yeah he wanted to fuck her just as much as he wanted to never see her again.
It was a toss up.
But what he did know is if he took her home, it would have to be her home. He didn't think he could deal with waiting for the the scent of her on his pillow to fade again .
So he watched from the shadows as Negan put the moves on her...half relieved and half sure if she walked out the doors with the man at the end of the night he just might kill the him.
Negan was at the bar, again. Didn't the man ever go home?
Beth had spent altogether too much time trying to avoid the charismatic man. She couldn't help but be charmed by him, and there was something extremely gratifying about being the focus of his attention.
His boyish grin and his seductive words were hard to withstand.
But once she got past his carefully veneered image as a ladies man, they managed to have a real conversation. Beth found out he wasn't half bad. It was clear to her that the man was not just a Don Juan, he was lonely and maybe a bit broken from the death of his late wife.
She knew without a shadow of doubt that Negan was just looking for someone to ease his pain...to fill up that hole in his heart that his wife had left if only for a little while. From the legion of women who seemed to be following him, she thought he was only satisfied when he had a girl completely love with him. And once that happened he would turn and walk away. He must be good in bed, or they would have stopped following him by now.
Maybe if she had met him at another time or place in there lives she could have taken him up on his promises of a night she would never forget, but they hadn't. And she wasn't looking to take on anymore projects...Merle was project enough for her.
So she allowed Negan's flirting...and enjoyed his easy charm, knowing that it was all an attempt to get into her panties, when what he really needed was someone to just listen to him talk about Lucille. Beth thought that he might need to be shot down once in awhile too, just to remind him that not everyone was going to fall down at his feet and worship. And while she was not exactly impervious to his charms, she was still disinclined to add to the notches on his bedpost.
It was probably good for him to have to put in some real effort, and be turned down now and again. It made him take time to place a name with a face and to realize that she was a real person. One with her own set of dreams and priorities, and not everyone and everything revolved around him.
She wondered if this is what it felt like in the eye of a storm, and thought that if he had always been this way that his wife had probably died from a broken heart.
She had refused his invitation to drive her home, several times. And tonight he was putting on a pull court press...she was a challenge, and he did enjoy a little bit of opposition now and again. Negan pulled her over to the booth that Maggie and Glenn were in and had her sit down, then he jumped up on the stage to sing with the band.
She was surprised when Merle approached her for the first time that night. Slipping into the booth next to her, as she sat sipping the last of her drink.
Throwing an arm on top of the booth behind her, Merle pointed up at the man on the stage, "It's kind of a tradition, for a few of us to get up and sing at the end of the night. The more inappropriate the better, it's like a right of passage...a club contest if you will." He told her.
Razzle 'n' dazzle 'n' flash a little light
Television lover, baby, go all night
Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet
Little miss ah innocent sugar me, yeah
"What'cha get if you're the winner?" She asked interested in why he was suddenly talking to her, but she was willing to let him come to her in his own time if he came at all.
She wasn't going to chase him down and drag him to her bed.
"Bragging rights mostly. The winner always seems get to take home the girl he's been chasing after all night." He paused, searching her face intently. "So, you plannin' on going home wit' him if he wins?"
She shrugged and looked back at the stage, "Well he is very entertaining." she said laughing at the antics of the man on the stage, and turned back to Merle. "But then again, me, him and his dead wife...I think the bed would be kinda crowded, don't you?"
He looked at her shrewdly, "Yeah, I do…just wasn't sure you did."
"You only need to talk to him for a short time to know that...it's not like he tried to hide it." She looked away from Merle and back up at the stage.
"That means ya' listen...I think that a lot of the young girls he get into his bed are too infatuated with him to hear what he is saying, they're too blinded by his charm to see him for who he really is." He looked back at the stage, "He is going to try to sing ya' into his bed...must really want you there, can't say as I blame him."
Beth cocked her head and smiled up at him, "What about you? Are you going to go up there and sing me into your bed...or was once enough for you?"
"I don't know if once would ever be enough." he said so quietly that she wasn't even sure she had heard him.
In a louder voice he said, "Negan is hard to beat on the stage. I got the voice, but I aint quite the showman he is. Plus he stole my song, I already know that your sugar is sweet...don't I." He pulled his arm away and stood up, looking down at Beth for a second, "Have a good night." and he walked back to the bar.
She watched him walk away, and then looked over to at Negan jumping down from the stage. Walking over he pulled her from the booth. "Finished with your drink? Ready to go?" he asked as he took a step away from the table with her hand in his.
"Merle said that it's kinda a contest...the more inappropriate the song the better?" She questioned him, standing her ground.
Grinning he said, "Yeah, pretty much. But that song made me think of you."
"Not very inappropriate...I don't think you tired hard enough." She said pushing her drink into his hands, "Here, hold my beer." She called over her shoulder as she jumped up on the stage.
Maggie sat up and nudged Glenn, "Yeah, Bethy!" she yelled, raising her eyebrows at Glenn, her eyes dancing. "This is going to be good...Beth is a connoisseur of the inappropriate. She like the way it throws people off kilter, the contrast of those dirty words coming out of her sweet innocent lips."
Beth talked to the band, they were shaking their heads, so she gestured to the guitar player. He handed her his guitar and she took it and played a few bars, and he took it back and played it back to her. She nodded and they walked over to the mike.
The music started and Beth started to sway to the music, looking over at the bar she winked at Merle.
Bombay black, galactic jack
Pixie punch and supper buds
Purple Haze, Lemon Haze
Sweet mango and lemon joy
I smoke weed, eat pussy everyday
And everyday is kind of the same
I have fun and I feel no shame
I smoke weed, eat pussy everyday
And I've always been at this game
We have fun when we play this game
Everybody knows my name
We have fun when we play this game
And I will never be your baby
Cause I'm a motherfucking lady
I hit the blunt like I'm Slim Shady
Yeah I'm a mother fucking lady
Beth was definitely getting into the song, hands over her head, rolling her hips, dragging her hand down her body suggestively. And Merle and Negan stood watching her, Merle grinning like a mad man, and Negan like he just hit the motherload.
I smoke weed, eat pussy all the time
Straight, bi or gay, they all stand in line
It doesn't really matter, I don't know what to say
They got a thing for my ass and I'm here to play
And I will never be your baby
Cause I'm a motherfucking lady
I hit the blunt like I'm Slim Shady
I smoke weed, eat pussy everyday
And everyday is kind of the same
I have fun and I feel no shame
I smoke weed, eat pussy everyday
And I've always been at this game
We have fun when we play this game
Everybody knows my name
We have fun when we play this game
When the song ended, there was hooting and hollering from the remaining men at the bar. And the grin on Negan's face was contagious. And she smiled back at him and laughingly asked, "So, did I win?"
"Beth Greene...you saucy little thing! Yeah you won all right. So what are you going to do now? You know that I will take you wherever you want to go...and I'm guessing that Merle would too, if you asked him...even if it's just to keep you away from me. But you've already had a taste of that worn out old man...you really need a newer ride, don't you think."
Beth nodded her head in agreement, "You know, I do believe you are right." And she bent to look around him. "Tara...do you want to take me home tonight?" She asked her friend.
"You know I do, chicka!" Tara crowed, elbowing Merle in the ribs. "Look, I didn't even have to make an ass out of myself, and I get to go home with the hottest chick here!"
Beth bounced past Negan, and gave Merle a big smile as she grabbed Tara's hand and they walked out of the bar arm in arm laughing.
They got out into the parking lot and had to stop to catch their breath.
"Oh, man. Now you've gone and done it Bethy! Believe me when I tell you, Negan is going to be trying to reform you, and Merle is going to be going over your night together to see if there was something that he missed."
Tara pulled out her keys, I don't know why I come here with you guys...there are never any ladies for me. I have to go home to a cold bed, you make me be the designated driver...and you never put out. Beth Greene, you're a fucking tease."
"You know you love me." Beth said giving Tara a wet kiss on the cheek. "You like the song?" She asked.
"I love that song." Tara vowed, "Best song EVER!"
"Well, I learned it for you, I was going to sing it to you for your birthday. Guess I will have to find a new song now."
"No way...I'm taking you to one of my bars. And you have to sing that song...at my bar. There is no way you will make it out without having to fight your way through a line of women. And you have to be the DD, and you have to drive me and my date home, and go to your own cold bed alone for once. Payback's a bitch." Tara informed her.
Neither of them noticed the man standing in the shadows watching them as they go into the Tara's car and drove away.
Authors Note.
So I had this odd dream last night...actually I woke up and was stuck thinking about it. What if Beth had to choose between Merle and Negan? Who would she choose? Well I think if she really had to choose it would be Merle, unless he was being a jerk...then she would let Tara take her home. So I'm not sure how much of this was the dream vs. my hazy thinking when I woke up. Even then I had to change it slightly to make it fit into this storyline. It was like an earwork, and kept popping into my head, until I finally had to sit down and write it out, just to make it stop. I know it's short, but it is what it is. I hope it works, because I'm leaving it be. I'm not going to spend the next day fixing it, only to second guess my song choices and then just toss it in the trash as I tend to do.
Writing someone singing is so much harder than it should be! I just want to put it out there so I can hopefully go back and work on Shelter in Place in peace.
Pour Some Sugar on Me - Def Leppard
Angie - Smoke Weed Eat Pussy