AN: I'm on vacation, but the fanfic must go on! So I made it happen. Expect another update in about two weeks when I return. I've also been working on a new multi-chapter shindig and a new oneshot (by request), so get excited! 3
April thirteenth has always been your favorite day. In past years, John would invite you, Rose, and Jade over for a birthday sleepover bash, no matter the day of the week. It doesn't occur to you until the day before, that this time around, you might not be on the invite list. As it is, you're not. Realizing this, you depart for school Thursday morning in a cloud of embarrassment, and try to ignore the sympathetic glances that Rose and Jade shoot you in the hallway.
By the time the final bell rings, you are almost too depressed to slide out of your cramped seat and trudge down the corridor to your locker. Two girls are waiting there for you, leaning their shoulders against the thin metal doors. As you approach, the taller of the two awkwardly adjusts the books she cradles in the crook of her arm.
''Hey, Rose, Jade,'' you croak, your throat dry. You swallow uncomfortably. ''What's up?'' The girl with the books opens her mouth to speak just as the other pulls her back with a timid hand the other's forearm, and steps forward herself. You give a half-assed grin. Everyone knows that Rose is never tactful.
Jade smiles sadly at you before speaking. ''We were just wondering,'' she begins slowly, stuffing her perfectly manicured hands into the pockets of her cargo pants. Jade has always been equal parts elegant and practical. ''W-would you mind if…if Rose and I still went over to John's tonight?''
You force an unaffected tone into your voice as Kanaya appears out of thin air, as her her custom, and takes Rose's hand, as is also her custom. ''Sure, no problem.'' The girls nod and begin to drift away.
''See ya, Dave,'' Rose calls, smiling at Kanaya. Her words are for you, but her eyes are only ever for her girlfriend. She almost never leaves Kanaya's side, but John's birthday bash has only ever been for his closest friends. A group which didn't seem to include you anymore.
Berating yourself as you open your locker, you think back on all your memories with John, Rose, and Jade. You've known them since – well, since forever. Why did I have to push them away? you groan inwardly, stuffing your things into the small space and closing the door quickly to avoid an avalanche. It'll all be worth it in the end if I can be with John, you assure yourself as you push through the pulsing crowd and out into the humid April air.
That if hangs over your head for the rest of the day.
When you finally get home and collapse onto the couch, you refuse to move for hours, even when Bro announces that it's spaghetti for dinner. You just pull a blanket up to your nose and fry your brain in front of the television. Because it's easy for you, you spend a little time on your homework, but not enough to finish. You're graduating in a month and a half anyway. Who gives a fuck? Certainly not your other friends. You can guarantee they won't get a speck of work done tonight. Oh no, they'll be too busy partying their plush rumps off.
You frown down at the remote control in your hand, envy bubbling up inside your stomach. Eventually it rises up your throat and spills out from between your lips in the form of the words, ''I'm going for a ride.''
Bro looks in from the kitchen. ''To John's house?'' he smirks, wiping his hands on a towel and tossing it in your direction. You click off the TV, stand, and let the damp cloth drape itself over the back of the sofa.
''No, just out,'' you mumble, grabbing your jacket and striding out the door into the night.
''Hey, move the towel, it'll start to – '' Bro calls after you, which doesn't deter you in the least from slamming the door. You mount your bicycle and pedal away in a quiet rage, focusing only on taking deep breaths of the sharp air and pumping your legs in a calming rhythm. After ten minutes of cooling your nerves, you coast to a halt and find yourself – where else? – on John's street.
It's almost midnight now, but still light pours onto the lawn from the living room window. You sigh and sit on the curb, removing your jacket, shoes, and socks and placing them by your bike. Your bare feet tingle in the crisp night air, causing you to scrunch up your toes. After a few minutes of sulking, you hear a shout from inside the house. Curious, you pad your way across the lawn, feeling the dewy grass underfoot. Peering in the window, you see your friends clustered together on the couch, video game controllers in hand. Jade has her head in John's lap, her curly dark hair spilling out onto the floor. A pang of jealously hits you in the gut.
Watching them laugh and shout together hurts more than anything, but it also gives you a new kind of determination to make everything turn out okay. You step away from the window, craning your neck to look up at the clear sky. The stars are bright and promising. Closing your eyes, you let your body fall back onto the lawn. The wet grass against your bare arms makes you shiver. You open your eyes again and scan the sky for shooting stars, but even your pathetic tale of heartbreak isn't that cliché.
Instead, you try to appreciate the view you do have, and make a wish on the stars you can see.
Happy 18th, John Egbert.
I love you.