Thank you for the kind words and the kudos everyone.
There's been such an amazing collection of fanfictions this year, so make sure to check out the captainswanbigbang page on tumblr. The mods have turned this into a well oiled machine indeed.
I'm so blessed to have two amazing artists who have supported 'At the Heart of Darkness' with their own artwork. sambethe made this amazing banner and the artwork in the previous chapter. (i figured it out technology is pretty easy) I cannot wait for you to see the rest of what she has in store, it's freaking amazing. She's been a voice of calm through all of my anxiety riddled moments.
downeystarkjr made a teaser video that I am still obsessed about. It's making me feel such human emotions, like gratitude and nice-ness.
ALSO CAN I HAVE A BIG SHOUTOUT TO MAGGIE aka accio-ambition? I wouldn't have finished this fic without her support. She's the best, and like, thanks for shouting at me about consistency. Go check out her contribution to BB guys, you will NOT be disappointed.
ALSO I have no medical knowledge whatsoever, and the medical jargon in this chapter is based purely on internet searches and a little bit from Grey's Anatomy. Speaking of Grey's, there's a familiar character in this chapter ;)
21 years ago : The Enchanted Forest
Emma sat in the small corner Killian had cleared out for her, making up a bed for her to sleep on. She did not know how she could repay his kindness, but perhaps helping Alice get out of this tower would be a step in the right direction.
Speaking of Alice, she heard the little girl giggle from her room, and while she could not hear what Killian was saying to his daughter, she could hear the humour in his tone. Having spent the last two weeks in their company and watching them interact sent a sharp pang of jealousy through Emma. She felt awful for even thinking that, but she couldn't help herself. She had once been that close with her own father, and now he was dust and ashes, as was her mother – and she was all alone, forced to run from her own land.
What made her feel even worse was how in this reality, there existed a Snow White and Prince Charming who had succeeded in defeating Regina, and they got to be parents to this reality's Emma. It was unfair that she had to spend years imprisoned along with her parents, and grow up with Regina's wrath hanging over their heads like a precarious sword. Her parents had tried desperately to hold on to hope, to bring Emma up with the same kind of positivity that they had. But she couldn't, not when she was ripped away from her parents when she was only seven years old, forced to watch them be executed, and be forced to spend the following two decades under Regina's reign.
Regina might have loved Emma as her ward, in her own twisted, dark way. She had kept Emma safe, taught her about magic, told her that no one else had to pay the price for her Snow White's folly. That they could be a family. But after what Regina did to her parents - to their legacy, their kingdom and the people - Emma could never love her.
If she had been braver, she would have faced off against Regina, fought for her kingdom. But it stopped being hers a long time ago, and the only thing she would ever associate that place with was how everyone had failed her parents. She tried for years after her escape to let go of her anger, to rationalise why her people slowly started losing faith in Snow and David. But she couldn't, not when she could remember clear as day how she had cried out, pleaded, begged the people who had witnessed their execution. She could remember how even Grumpy had turned away from her, unable to see her pain, unwilling to help. At the end of the day, it was not Regina's power or evil that ended her parents' regime: it had been their people, who had so easily given up on them.
She heard Killian and Alice laugh, much louder now, and felt the traitorous tears burn her eyes. She tried to distract herself, tried to read the grimoire in front of her. But she couldn't stop a few from slipping, blurring her vision and falling on the page in front of her. She couldn't allow Killian or Alice see her like this. They hardly knew her, and she did not want them to know her full history. She was not ready for the pity that would clearly follow when she told Killian the truth. She quickly dried her tears, composing herself.
She read the page she had been on, a curious expression flitting on her face. Maybe instead of looking for one spell, she could modify and combine two or more, using only the elements she needed. She would need a binding agent, perhaps, but if she tried, she could build a new spell. The only problem was that she had no idea if there would be any consequences to breaking the spell. The witch who had cursed Alice in this tower seemed to have thought of repelling magic users, Emma would not be surprised if she had something in place in case Alice managed to free herself from this spell.
"Any luck?" Killian asked, startling her. "Sorry, did I scare you?"
"No, no. I just did not notice you come over." After a moment of awkward staring, Emma realised he had asked her a question. "I- I don't have an answer, but I may have some ideas. I'm uncertain how good they are, but I will not stop trying."
Something shifted in Killian's expression, as he sat next to her. "I have no words to thank you for your help, Emma."
"You allowing me to stay here is thank you enough," she assured him. "In fact, I am the one who is indebted to you. You don't even know me, and yet you trust me enough to stay with your child."
"I don't need to know you to see you are a good person," Killian said, reaching for her bandaged hands.
Emma held his gaze for a moment, the depth of emotions drawing her in, hypnotising her. As guarded as Killian Jones may think he was, she could read him like an open book. She could see how much he wanted for Alice to be free; she could not help her parents escape from their fate, but she will be damned if she can't help Alice escape hers.
"Alice is lucky to have you," Emma whispered, pulling her hand away from his and focusing her attention on the grimoire in her lap. She could see him hesitate in her periphery, as if he wanted to say more. When he seemed to decide against it and walked away, Emma didn't know why she felt disappointed.
The Present : The Land without Magic
Emma woke up in a panic, eyes flying open and breath caught in her chest. She had dreamt that Eloise had poisoned her heart, left her in an alley; that couldn't possibly be true, could it? It took her a moment to orient herself, as she struggled to make sense of the incessant noise that surrounded her. She noticed that she was not lying in her own bed, and her body felt weighed down, sluggish. She looked around for the source of the noise, only to find various machines near her, with wires leading to her arm, and a strange tube in her throat restricting her breathing. Her brows furrowed in confusion, and her panic increased; she could feel her heart rate increase, and the noise from the machines just kept getting louder. Just when she was about ready to rip the wires from her arms, a group of people rushed through the glass door to the room she was in.
She wished she could hear what they were shouting, but the only thing she could hear was her own heartbeat, which only seemed to grow louder the more she panicked. She felt people swim in and out of her vision, their voices distant and echoing as they spoke to her. She felt the tube from her throat being removed, making it easier for her to breathe. She sucked in deep, sharp breaths, tears of relief pricking her eyes.
"Easy there, you're fine. You're fine," a soft, sure voice sounded to her right, hands still gently holding her down. Emma turned toward the person who spoke, finding a man in a white coat. His grey eyes were steady on hers, helping her regulate her breathing and relax in her bed.
"You are at St. John's Hospital. My name is Dr. Nathan Riggs, I am a cardiothoracic surgeon. You had heart surgery, but you are fine now, alright? Do you hear me?"
Emma stared at him in confusion, unable to register what he had just said. Heart surgery? Was this because of Gothel's magic?
"Emma, do you understand me?" he repeated, waiting patiently for her response.
She swallowed thickly, her hand going to her chest, feeling the bandages wrapped around it. "I had heart surgery?" she asked, her voice hoarse.
"You did, yes. You walked into our emergency room, do you remember that?"
She shook her head, watching as he checked the machines around her. "I didn't realise I had a problem with my heart."
His sharp eyes focused on her again, his brows furrowing. "Are you sure? Because by the looks of it, you had an infection that affected your heart. It's not something that happens suddenly."
Emma squeezed her eyes closed. Her magic did not work as effectively as it usually did against Gothel's spell; any magic cast in the Land without Magic would be more unpredictable, more volatile, with more side-effects. This must because of that; she must have brought herself to the hospital. "Have you fixed it then? My heart?" she asked, ignoring Dr. Riggs' question.
"I...Well, yes, I did. But Miss Swan-"
"If you fixed it, then when can I leave? I have somewhere to be."
He scoffed before catching himself. "My apologies. But you had heart surgery. You have been unconscious for a month. It will take awhile for your body to recuperate. I'm sorry, but it doesn't seem like you will be leaving here anytime soon."
Emma's eyes widened. "I was unconscious for a month?!"
Dr. Riggs glanced at the machine next to her, before he focused on her again. "Miss Swan, you need to calm down. I will answer all of your questions, but I need you to calm down. Your heartbeat is increasing rapidly. I don't want to put you at any more of a risk."
Emma breathed out, knowing that the only way she would be able to get out of here is if she listened to this doctor. Perhaps she could use some of her magic to speed along her recovery. Her hand automatically reached for the ring, only to find it missing.
"Dr. Riggs, what happened to the ring I was wearing?"
-/-
21 years ago: Enchanted Forest
Emma was writing down her ideas for the new spell she was creating when she a shadow fell across her parchment, drawing her attention to the little girl peeking over her shoulder. "Hello," Emma greeted Alice, smiling pleasantly at her.
"Hello," Alice echoed in tone and everything, blinking at Emma. No matter how much she envied the relationship between Alice and her father, Emma couldn't help but feel awful for this little girl. All she had was the company of her father these past five years, stuck in this small, one-roomed tower. Meeting Emma must be an entirely new experience for Alice; she had to learn to talk to a stranger, get comfortable and familiar with her, perhaps even learn to trust her. Emma hadn't really attempted to bond with Alice, but it was time to change that. There was no telling how long it would take to find a solution to this spell that has kept Alice trapped here.
She spied Killian making lunch from the corner of her eye and realised that Alice was simply looking for some company, maybe even some fun. Emma never had a chance to indulge in fun as a child, never had the chance to be free. In some ways, her childhood and Alice's seem to be on the same track.
"Would you like to play a game?" Emma asked, watching a wide cheshire grin take over Alice's face.
-/-
"Alright, grub's up, Starfish!" Emma heard Killian call out and shushed Alice as she giggled.
"Your Papa is going to be very surprised, huh?" Emma asked, adjusting the patch of cloth over Alice's eye. The little blonde nodded enthusiastically, mimicking a hook and faux-growling.
"Alice, love. Come on!" Killian called out again.
"Think pirate," Emma whispered, ushering Alice toward the main room. She watched with a smile as Alice approached Killian, grinning as he gaped at his daughter, all dressed up in pirate garb.
"Well, aren't you the littlest pirate there ever was," he gushed, his surprise turning into a sweet playfulness.
"Arrrrrgh," Alice growled. "I'm yer best mate, Papa." Killian laughed, grabbing her and settling her on his hip.
"It's first mate, Starfish. You will always be my first mate."
"Emma made this for me," Alice bragged, turning to Emma and waving her over. "She taught me the pirate voices, too, Papa."
"Meet a lot of pirates, did you, lass?" Killian teased, grinning at Emma.
She laughed, shaking her head. "I just thought playing dress-up would be fun for Alice."
"It is fun for Alice!" Alice agreed. "Papa, you be the C'pn." Emma couldn't help but be amused by Alice's baby-lisp making her struggle with saying Captain.
"Aye, and what of Emma?" Killian asked, shooting Emma a sly grin.
"Oh, yes! I forgot!" Alice gasped. "What should she play?"
Killian seemed to think for a while, before his eyes lit up and he grinned broadly at Emma. "How about the Swan Princess?"
Emma's eyes furrowed, as father and daughter exchanged glances and nodded to each other. "The Swan Princess?"
"She was a lost princess!" Alice explained. "She was taken away from her mummy and Papa when she was just a baby, but she found them again, years later."
Emma's breath caught in her throat, seeing Killian smile kindly at her. "She found them, huh?" Emma asked, her eyes misty.
"Papa and I read the story! She fights the evil witch and saves them. And they lived happily ever after. Do you want to be the Swan Princess, Emma?"
Emma nodded, swallowing thickly. She could see that he was trying to include her in whatever way he could; she could see it in the way he was with Alice as well, trying hard to make sure she never loses hope. Something her own parents did for as long as they could. For the first time in a long time, she felt like was a part of something, it didn't matter how broken she was, she still seemed to fit with Killian and Alice.
"That sounds like fun," she replied, smiling gratefully at Killian.
-/-
Present Day: Land without Magic
Emma was getting antsy in her hospital bed, just waiting for her possessions to be returned to her so she could channel her magic and accelerate her healing. She was about to call for someone, when Dr. Riggs walked into her room, a bag in his hand.
"Sorry for the delay, Miss Swan, but a promise is a promise." He paused, watching her root through it and grab the ring. "Miss Swan-"
"Dr. Riggs, you saved my life. I think it's time you call me Emma." She smiled, her relief and gratitude helping her relax a bit more.
"Alright, then, Emma. Is there someone I could call for you? A family member, or perhaps a friend?" he asked. She could hear the concern in his voice, and she was sure he had the right intentions in asking her. But simply the reminder that she had no one to be there was enough to overwhelm her. She was alone and vulnerable in this land, without Alice and without her magic, without Killian. Without hope.
But she pushed her pain down for now; she had a plan to get Killian back, to get Alice. She just hesitated and it cost her a lot. She had faced Gothel only once before, but she should have known what a formidable foe she was. She cleared her throat, shaking her head at Dr. Riggs. "No, there isn't anyone to call."
"Oh, I'm-"
"How soon can I get out of here, Dr. Riggs? I have some place I need to be." She tried to adjust her posture, but gave up when it became too painful. She wanted so badly to use her magic, now that she had access to it. But it would only arouse the suspicion of the doctors, and could possibly delay her leaving here. She would just have to wait until she was allowed to go home.
"Emma, the only place you need to be is here. I'm not certain discharging you soon would be the best option if you have no one take care of you."
Emma's eyes snapped to his, her nostrils flaring in anger. "I've never needed anyone to take care of me before, and I do not intend to start now. You don't know me, so don't pretend to. Do not try and empathise with me, or relate to me. I have been through much worse than this."
"Much worse than needing emergency heart surgery?" he asked incredulously. "Now, you may not remember this, but you have been in and out of consciousness for weeks. You need the rest, you cannot just bounce back. That would only hurt you."
"But-"
"Emma, I may not know what you've been through. But I know how to do my job. Now, please, just give me a few weeks. Just focus on recuperating."
She nodded curtly, and Dr. Riggs was smart enough to understand a dismissal when he saw one and left her alone. Emma squeezed her eyes shut, frustrated and helpless, stuck in a bed while Killian and Alice were both in danger. She could still feel Gothel's toxic magic in her heart, and she knows that her weakened physically state would only make it that much harder to repel it. Even with the help of magic in the ring, she needed to rest.
She thought she was stronger this time around, more prepared to face Gothel. The last time she faced off against that wretch, Alice was taken and put under yet another spell. Everything had been a mess since Killian left them, and she thought she had it under her control, that she could take care of Alice in Killian's stead, that she could find a way to save Killian and bring him back to them. But she was just adrift, unable to balance everything by herself. She had to hide her anger, her pain, her grief, and be there for a little girl who had to grow up without her father. She always saw Alice as her own, but it took Alice a while to see her the same way. They were family, and they worked - even without Killian, their broken parts fit together well enough to function. But after all this, if Killian found out how spectacularly she failed, she knew he would never forgive her.
Once, before they had started on the quest that was just the beginning of the end, they had promised that come what may, they would never hurt each other, and that Alice would always come first. Those were the words they had promised to live by. But he hurt her when he left, so selfishly tying her to his life, forcing her to live through both his pain and hers. And now, inadvertently, she had hurt him. She lost the only true love in his life, and she prayed to all the gods that he wouldn't hate her, that Gothel wouldn't be so cruel as to harm her own daughter.
Was this what loving someone meant? Just constantly hurting each other until someone let go? If so, would he be the one to let go? Or would she be forced to do it again?
21 years ago: Enchanted Forest
Emma was sitting on the window ledge of the tower taking in the view in front of her, when she heard Killian approach. She smiled as he handed her some tea before turning her gaze back to the full moon. She assumed he would just leave, but he rested his arms on the ledge next to her thighs, closing his eyes against the cool, summer breeze.
"All things considered, this is quite the view," she said, her voice soft, as if something more than a whisper would shatter the tranquility, no matter how much of an illusion it was. Especially in the circumstances Killian and his daughter have found themselves in.
"Aye," he agreed. "It's perhaps the one good thing about this tower, if there has to be one." He seemed to hesitate, his gaze focused on his hand and hook, when he said, "Thank you for engaging Alice today. She's never had anyone else to interact with but me, and I often worry how that would affect her when we do get out of here. I don't ever want her to face rejection or ridicule."
"I know what you mean. But Alice is such a bright child, and she adapts so quickly. With a father like you, she will be fine," Emma assured him, squeezing his shoulder gently.
Killian flushed at her compliment, his hand reaching to scratch behind his ear in embarrassment. "I worry that no matter how hard I try, I am failing her somehow. I don't want her to regret me in the future. It already pains me to see her trapped in here. She shouldn't have to learn to deal with disappointment at such a young age."
Emma felt a lump in her throat, every word he said resonating within her. She knew the kind of disappointment he spoke of, the pain. And she wondered if this was how her own parents felt, like they had failed her. Did they die thinking that? Would they suffer unrest because of that? She shook herself from these thoughts, focusing on the present instead. "You're not failing her, Killian. It's hard not to feel that way, but you're doing the best you can, and then some. Alice is so brave, so smart, and even so well-adjusted, because you brought her up that way, and you continue to that. I've only spent a handful of weeks in your company and I can already see how much you mean to her. She worships you. It means you're doing something right, doesn't it?"
He remained quiet for so long that Emma wondered if that was the end of their conversation. So when he finally spoke, it startled her a little. "You seem to really understand Alice's situation. It makes me wonder if-"
Emma cut him off before he finished that sentence, feeling uncomfortable discussing that particular subject. "That is a story for another day, Jones," she said, hoping she did not come off hostile.
"A story that perhaps I will be privy to?" he asked, a certain hopefulness in his question. This was so unlike the man she had met that first night, his sharp edges had peeled away, leaving a softness underneath. A softness that she was slowly coming to like.
She glanced at him from the corner of her eye, a small smirk adorning her face. "Wouldn't you like to know?"
A beat later, he turned fully toward her, prompting her to face him. Their eyes met, and in the quiet night, he confessed, "Perhaps I would."
-/-
Present Day: Land without Magic
"I would think that you like watching me in pain, Dr. Riggs," Emma complained as they completed another lap around the hospital grounds.
He chuckled, leading her to a nearby bench. "It's only been a week and you already show unbelievable progress, Emma. I'm just pushing you as much as I think you can take. No more, I promise."
Emma nodded, content to sit for a while and catch her breath. Her assumption had been right - her magic wasn't working as quickly and effectively as she had hoped. While her recovery was slower than she would like it to be, she was certain that once she was deemed fit to go home, she would be stronger, and so would her heart against Gothel's spell.
"I know you're a busy man, Dr. Riggs. I would have been content walking with the nurses."
He ignored her comment; instead he simply said, "I lost someone once, a long time ago. Ever since then, I've never felt like I could stay in one place for long. I had to keep moving, like I had some place to go, and I just didn't know where that was."
Emma pursed her lips, angered by what he said. "I don't know what you mean, Dr. Riggs."
He smiled, his eyes trained on the horizon. "I think you do."
Emma wanted to storm off then, unable to control her anger at the audacity of this man. "I am not running away," she snapped, glaring at him.
Dr. Riggs finally turned to look at her. "I never said you were. I just meant," he sighed. "I just meant I know what it's like to feel lost. I have a feeling that whoever gave you that ring meant a great deal to you."
Emma's hand involuntarily reached for the ring, comforted by the warmth it radiated. "I don't think this is an appropriate conversation to have with your patient, Dr. Riggs."
He seemed to realised that he had pushed his boundaries, and looked appropriately chagrined. "Alright, fair enough. How about I just accompany you back to your room? I think we have had enough exercise for the day."
When Emma was settled back in bed, and Dr. Riggs had checked her vitals, he made to leave. But Emma stopped him, feeling guilty for snapping at him earlier. He had only been trying to help her, and she had shut him down too quickly. She had gotten so used to not having someone to depend on that his attempts at camaraderie put her on edge. But if anything, her time here had only served to teach her how alone she was. If he was offering to be a friend, she ought to take him up on the offer, if only to quell the loneliness that plagued her every minute she was here.
"Dr. Riggs, wait." She sat up straighter, licking her lips before she continued. "I'm sorry for snapping at your earlier. It wasn't fair."
"That's alright, Emma. I shouldn't have overstepped," he said dismissively.
"I- I'm sorry to hear you lost someone. I know what that feels like."
He nodded, smiling stiffly. "For what it's worth, you'll find your way at some point. Grief and loneliness don't last forever. Nothing does."
Emma nodded, feeling a little better knowing that she was not the only one with a painful past. Perhaps, more than her body, her mind needed to heal as well. Perhaps it was time she started believing in the good in the world.
"I'll send Dr. Edwards to check in on you soon, Emma. Rest up."
-/-
Three weeks later
"I do not understand how you recovered so quickly. This is unheard of," Dr. Riggs said, looking at Emma's chart again. She simply beamed at him, glad that she could finally get out of the hospital and recuperate at home. She was not back to her complete strength yet, but she felt much stronger than she had in a while. The magic in her ring, however, was not unlimited and had depleted quite a bit. She had to rest for another month or so before she attempted to find Killian again.
"Maybe it was magic," Emma replied cheekily, making him scoff.
"Yeah, the magic of my skills as a doctor," he rolled his eyes. "Either way, I am glad to see that you're feeling better, and I am very confident about discharging you now. You better come back in two weeks for your check-up."
"If I do, would you then allow me to travel on an airplane?"
"Have somewhere to be, Miss Swan?" he asked, eyebrows raised inquisitively.
"Maybe. Or maybe I just want to travel a bit."
"For some unfathomable reason, I do not believe you one bit," Dr. Riggs shot back dryly. "But my job is just to fix your heart, which I did. Don't exert yourself, and do not make those travel plans without my say so, you understand?"
Emma resisted the urge to roll her eyes, and simply nodded. And when the nurse rolled in a chair with wheels, insisting that she needed to take it to the exit, she relented without much of a fight. Because if anything, the past three weeks had taught her that for once, she needed to put herself first. If she kept risking her life, there would be no one to save Killian and Alice, and she could not allow that to happen. Not when she was the reason they were all in this bind to begin with.
Gothel got the upper hand and crippled her, made her feel powerless. She had done that twice now, and Emma was not going to let that happen a third time.
-/-
21 years ago: Enchanted Forest
"You were a real pirate?!" Emma's eyebrows were so high up, they practically disappeared into her hairline. "How have you kept this from me for two whole weeks?"
Killian chuckled, going back to shuffling the deck of cards in his hand. He wasn't certain how the topic had come up, but when she'd accused him of cheating, it just slipped out. It took him a moment to realise that he hadn't yet told her of his past. "Aye. I assumed the hook must have given it away. Or my daughter's inclination to take up pirate personas."
"Well, I didn't want to be insensitive about your hook. But this is unbelievable. You're Captain Hook." Emma shook her head, still in awe.
"I'm not certain if you mean that as a compliment or an insult, lass." His eyebrow quivered at her lack of response.
Emma was still trying to come to grips with Killian's revelation, however. "I'm not quite sure myself. I guess I'm surprised because I've only ever seen you as a doting father."
Killian glanced toward where Alice slumbered, a soft smile adorning his features as he did, making him look younger by years. "When Alice was born, I knew everything had changed. I had to be there for her, I had to be better. I don't think I will ever be a father worthy of my little lass, but I know that I will never stop trying."
"And sometimes, that is all one can do," Emma whispered, a far off look in her eyes as she once again remembered her father. "My father- He-" She paused, trying to compose herself before she continued. "He was my favourite person. I feel awful even saying this, because I loved my mother," she half-sobbed, pressing her hand to her lips. "I loved her so much, but my Papa, he just understood me. He understood that I didn't need to be protected from the horrors of our reality. He taught me everything I needed to know, of course. But he also made me laugh." She sniffled, feeling the weight of Killian's gaze on her. "Regina didn't throw us in a dungeon. She kept us trapped alone in our castle, while she terrorised our lands. We were stuck in there, unable to help anyone, unable to do anything… helpless and friendless. My mother was ever the optimist, which can be extremely tiring after a while. But my father - well, I thought there could never be a man more perfect than him. I miss them both every day. They did the best they could, until the very end."
Emma wiped at the tears on her cheeks, laughing hollowly. "I'm sorry, you did not ask to hear about this."
"No, please. You have nothing to apologise for, Emma." Killian slowly reached for her hand, giving her every opportunity to pull away. But when she didn't, he gripped it tight in his, staring at their entwined fingers. "Thank you, for trusting me with that. I am so sorry for what happened. Your parents were certainly brave people."
Emma sniffled, biting into her lip. "Thank you. And thank you for trusting me with your daughter. I would never do anything to harm her."
"I know," he said with conviction. And in that moment, that was more than enough for Emma.
-/-
Present Day: Land without Magic
Five weeks after her discharge, Emma was finally cleared for travel. She was far less terrified of flying in the airplane this time around, although she remained buckled in for the entirety of the journey, and still flinched at the landing. But she was incredibly glad that she had been allowed to fly. She had rested long enough, and the five weeks that passed allowed the magic in her ring to replenish as well. It was time to find Killian, and this time, make sure Gothel could not get to him.
It was time to go back home.
-/-
Killian had started his book tour a week ago, and frankly, he was already tired of it. He was glad that he decided to make this the last of The Davy Jones Chronicles. Will had been upset to hear that, and spent the better part of a week trying to convince him to sign up for two more books. But Killian felt like it was the right time; all the adventures had been had, and it was time for Captain Hook to retire. Killian had amassed an immense amount of wealth, enough to allow him a comfortable life for the next two years on royalties alone. It was time for him to work on himself, on finding whatever he it was he had been looking for.
He knew now that his dreams were more than just a figment of his imagination. He had to do...something. Find Emma, perhaps. Maybe she could help him understand what they meant. He had tried calling her the day after they had met, after he woke up from the nightmare, but she hadn't answered his calls. He stopped trying after a couple of weeks; if she did not want to be bothered, he would stop. He just had to find someone else, if not her - anyone who could help him make sense of these dreams. Or where they really memories? he found himself wondering.
He was pulled from his thoughts when the next person in the line for his book signing walked up, a big grin on their face. Killian forced a smile, made polite conversation, and ignored the cramping in his hand. He made sure he did not sound dismissive, because no matter what was going on in his life, these people had come all this way just to meet him, had stood for hours for that. He had them to thank for his success. It took a couple of hours more before he was done.
"Thank you for coming!" he said, signing his last book for the day.
"It was really great seeing you, Mr. Jones!" the man in front of him exclaimed, waving at him. Killian kept smiling until he rounded the corner before he let it fall, sighing tiredly as he loosened the tie around his neck. He looked up when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
"Great job, man," Will praised, handing him a bottle of water. "Do you see how much they love your book? How can this be the end?" he tried once more, taking a seat next to Killian.
Killian chuckled at the relentlessness of his agent, shaking his head as he took a sip. "I told you. I am done telling Captain Hook's tales. No more to be told, mate. Get over it."
"I was so certain you would sign on for at least two more books, man," Will groused, grabbing a bottle of water for himself. "Do you have a pitch for another book at least?"
Killian shook his head, standing up and throwing his now empty bottle in the bin. He leaned against the table, his arms crossed and his back to the rest of the room. "I cannot promise you anything, Will. I am not lying. I'm just dealing with some things, and I need time."
Will stood up, concerned. "Killian, I may be your agent, but I was your friend first. We have been through some shit together. I'm here if you need me, man. Whatever it is."
Killian hesitated, not certain if he should tell Will everything. He was the closest thing to a best friend, a brother, that Killian had. Will has seen him at his worst. He had made him go to meetings with him. That's how they first met - Killian passed out on the street after a night of heavy drinking. He owed him his life, and he had no way to repay him. If all he wanted was for Killian to be honest with him, he ought to do that.
Killian regarded Will carefully, on the fence about telling him everything he had been going through. "You're going to think I'm crazy."
"Man, I've seen your groupies. That is crazy. I'm sure you'll be fine. Just tell me."
Killian let out a long breath, preparing himself. Just as he started to speak, he heard the door open and the bell above it ring. He reflexively turned to see who it was, and had to do a double take. His stared, eyes wide and jaw slacked. Will turned to see what caught his friend's attention, his interest piqued by Killian's reaction.
"Is the book signing over?" asked the woman who came in, her voice timid, almost sheepish.
"Yes, ma'am. I'm sorry-" Will began but Killian stopped him with a hand on his shoulder, pushing him aside.
"Emma," he breathed out, frozen in his tracks.
"Hello, Killian," the woman greeted, tucking her hair behind her ear.