I am so grateful for the whole team at captainswanbigbang for keeping this event going. Man, are they organised!
S/O to sambethe for the amazing banner and her artwork for one of the chapters. Next week you're going to see one of my most favorite pieces that she has created, and I'm so excited to share it with you all. downeystarkjr has made something too, for the next chapter, so it's gonna be a double whammy. I don't think I have enough words to express how much I love them, and how lovely they are to work with.
Mags, aka accio-ambition, has to put up with a lot from me. Thanks for checking up on me, baeeb.
I'm so grateful for all those who comment and favorite this fic. You guys make my day, every single one of you. Thank you!
Killian sat at Emma's bedside, flipping aimlessly through a magazine. She had drifted off a couple of hours ago. She had tried to fight it for the longest time as she spent the time teaching Killian card games that pirates in her - their? - land apparently played. He felt uneasy, hearing her talk about his other life, and yet he had no memories of it. When he'd asked Emma about getting them back, she had been quite vague, mumbling about how complex memory potions could be. He had let her be, not willing to push her when she was in the hospital. Besides, his lack of memories seemed to be a sore subject for her, and he did not wish to make her feel worse. He had a feeling that if she had a solution, Emma would have told him by now. He felt like he could trust her, and he was going to listen to his gut.
The only thing that threw him off was her admission that he - or his other self - did not have a daughter. He had been so certain that Alice was been real. Maybe the woman from his dreams wasn't Emma either, maybe he just thought it was her. But it did not make any sense. It had been a very long day, and he needed to rest as well.
Emma seemed quite determined to leave the hospital and go back to this Enchanted Forest place as soon as she was well. Which meant that he had to make arrangements for postponing his book tour with Will. Luckily, he had only a couple of cities left on the roster and he was certain Will would accommodate. He would very likely bitch about it and demand an explanation, but he would make it happen.
He saw Emma shift in his periphery, drawing his attention back to her. He saw the soft smile that adorned her face, her brow smooth of worry lines. Her hand was curled near her cheek, her eyelashes leaving long shadows. She looked incredibly beautiful like this; he couldn't believe that there was a version of him who actually got to be with her. Emma never told him outright, but no matter how much he was still the same person, just with different memories, she did not see him in that way. He could tell it from the way she looked at him - as if she was waiting for him to turn into the man she remembered and was left disappointed. These thoughts did not seem to help his mood, his heart feeling a sharp sting of rejection, no matter how irrational it was.
For he only had the memories of his version of Killian Jones - not a pirate or a whatever he was to Emma Swan. This Killian had never had anyone love him, never had someone risking their life for him. Was it insane to be jealous of himself? He shook his head to clear the thoughts, pulling out his phone from his pocket and walking out of Emma's room.
It took a couple of rings, but Will eventually picked up, his voice groggy. "Jones, do you have any idea how late it is?" the man grumbled. Killian could hear him shuffling and a whisper before Will spoke again. "You better have a good reason for calling so late. My girlfriend is not happy."
Killian winced. He knew that Allison, Will's girlfriend, worked late shifts at the hospital. Maybe he should have waited until morning. Nevertheless, he had Will on the phone now. Might as well get to it. "My apologies, mate. I wouldn't have called it wasn't urgent."
"What's wrong?" Will sounded more alert now. "Is everything alright?"
"Yeah, yeah," Killian started dismissively, but rethought his tactic. "Alright, maybe not everything. You remember Emma, from earlier today?"
Will took such a long time to answer him, Killian worried that the call was disconnected. "Yeah, what about her?" Will asked, his tone slow. He could practically hear Will's skepticism and he hadn't even told him anything.
"Alright. So, she - she had some information about my past. About stuff I didn't know." Killian took in a deep breath. He had the perfect story figured out, and he just had to execute it. It wasn't as easy as he had thought it would be to lie to his best friend, however. "She had some information about my parents," he rushed out, continuing before Will had a chance to interrupt him. "Look, mate. I need to take off - I can't finish the book tour. I have just two more cities left, and I promise I will reschedule them. But right now, I need to go."
Killian could hear Will's sharp release of breath. "Why?"
"What do you mean, 'why'?" Killian was confused. He had expected Will to be angry or shout at him. But he sounded almost calm.
"Yeah, uh-huh. She found your parents? Bullshit. Why are you lying to me, Killian?" Will demanded, his voice raising. "You told me you didn't know your parents, that the only family you had was a brother who died. What, do you so desperately want to get out of promoting your own book?"
"It's not like that," Killian sighed, sliding down a wall once he realised the corridor was empty. "But you're right. I'm lying, and for that I'm sorry."
"What's the real reason then?"
"You wouldn't believe me, Will." Killian rubbed his hand tiredly against his forehead. "I just need you to trust me. I've always cooperated with your ideas for the book, for the PR. I let you take the reins every time because I trust you. These books, these stories - they are important to me, Will."
"Why do you sound like you're planning on throwing it all away?" Will whispered. "What is going on, Killian?"
"Will, please-"
"What did she tell you that was so bad?"
"It's not bad, Will. She really did tell me about my past. I just need some time to process it, and I need to go with her."
"Alright, alright. Fine - let's say I believe you. Where the hell are you going?" When Killian remained silent, Will scoffed loudly. "Unbelievable. I'm coming over right now. Something is not right."
"I'm not at home. I'm at St. Joseph's," Killian replied, almost reluctantly. He did not want Will coming here, but that seemed like the only way Killian would be able to convince his friend.
Killian heard some rustling and the sound of Will's keys. "I'll be there in 10. You stay put, Jones."
-/-
Enchanted Forest: 21 years ago
Alice coughed loudly, her little, cherub face scrunched up at the phlegm she spat into the bucket Killian had placed at her bedside. "Oh, Starfish," Killian murmured, rubbing her back to comfort her. Alice whimpered, her forehead beaded with fever sweat and her body weak as she fell back on bed.
"Here, I fetched some more cold water," Emma said, rushing into the room with a pail and several washcloths hung on the side. "Has her fever subsided at all?" she whispered, sitting on the side opposite Killian's taking Alice's hand in hers. The child was still extremely hot to touch, making Emma's concern heighten.
"No," Killian replied, his voice hoarse. He was struggling not to cry, knowing that would help no one. He was just so helpless, not knowing what he could possibly do to relieve his child's distress.
Alice had been fine a few days ago, apart from complaining of being tired. And then she started coughing, the frequency increasing rapidly. Two days ago, she had come down with a fever overnight. Killian had woken in the middle of the night and just happened to check up on Alice, only to find her trembling in her sleep, mumbling unintelligibly. He had panicked when he realised that she was burning up. Both he and Emma have been trying everything from a cold compress to herbal remedies to help Alice get better, but nothing seemed to work.
Emma's magic had help at first, and they had both thought that that would be it - but since then, Alice had only become worse. The little girl could barely remain conscious, and her coughing fits were getting much too violent for her small body to handle.
"I don't know what else to do!" Killian cried, brushing Alice's damp curls away from her face. "What can I do?" he asked. He wasn't certain to whom, but at this point, anyone who was willing to answer him.
"Killian, I think you need to fetch a healer," Emma suggested. Alice rolled into Emma's side, her small hand clutching at Emma's tunic with all her might. Emma pulled Alice closer, hoping to provide Alice with some warmth.
"I can't leave her," he snapped, drenching a cloth in the water Emma had brought and squeezing out the excess water before placing on his daughter's forehead. "That is not up for discussion," he growled out, refusing to lift his gaze from Alice. He did not want Emma to see his tears, to think him weak. He needed to be strong.
He softly kept brushing Alice's hair, but his actions were stopped by Emma's touch on his arm. "Killian, we are out of options here. I would go, in a heartbeat. But in case she gets worse, she will need my magic," Emma reasoned.
No matter how much he had grown to trust Emma, this was something he could not do. He couldn't leave Alice now. She needed him.
"Alice needs me," he argued, but even he could see that there had to be a greater reason for him to make Emma go.
"Killian, right now, she needs you to help her in a way only you can. You know the area better, you know where to find the healer. I know you don't want to leave Alice, but trust me to keep her safe. I'll do everything I can to make sure her condition doesn't worsen." Emma looked at him imploringly, her eyes refusing to leave his. He could see Emma meant every word: she really would do anything for Alice. He needed to do the right thing, no matter how much he did not want to leave Alice's side.
"Alright, I'll be back by nightfall. Promise me you would do everything in your power - and I mean everything - to keep my girl safe."
Emma squeezed his arm in reassurance. "I will. Now go, and hurry back."
Killian nodded, brushing a quick kiss to Alice's forehead, and leaving her reluctantly. He was certain that Emma would take good care of Alice. He had left his child in her company enough times in the past months to know her, to trust her. But he was a father, and he had never felt so helpless before.
With one last look at Alice's now prone form, he started scaling down the tower.
-/-
Present day: Land without Magic
Killian paced up and down the hospital corridor, keeping a close eye on Emma. She seemed to still be sleeping; however, he did not want to leave her alone for too long. She was in this position because of him. He could hardly believe that she had done something like that - taken out her own heart - just to get him to believe her. He wasn't certain he could go down the same route with Will.
He was brought out of his thoughts by Will calling out his name, walking toward him with purpose. Killian prepared himself for the conversation he was about to have. He had still not made up his mind about how honest he was going to be with Will, about Emma and the things she had told him.
"Hey, mate."
Will nodded in greeting, his eyes shifting to Emma's room before turning to Killian. "How is she doing?" he asked grimly.
"She seems fine now, but the doctors want to run some tests."
"What even happened?" Will asked, taking a seat on the chairs that lined the corridor.
Killian took the one next to Will, shaking his head. "I've no clue, mate. She seemed fine one minute, and then she was finding it hard to breathe and asked me to bring her here. Apparently she'd had heart surgery not too long ago." Will nodded, but Killian could tell he wanted say something more. "Mate, just come out and say whatever it is that you want to say."
"I just want an explanation, Killian. You cannot expect me to just be alright with you picking up your life and following this strange woman to...wherever," Will sputtered, clearly frustrated.
"Will, it's not like that. She's - it's complicated with Emma."
"Killian, you just met the woman!" Will cried out. Killian could see his friend's exasperation, and was at a loss for how he could explain all of this to Will.
"I know, I did just meet her. But there's more to this than you think. I just don't know if you will believe me. You're going to think I'm crazy."
"I already do, mate. You might as well just lay it on me," Will half-joked. But he seemed willing to listen, and Killian had to take the chance.
"Alright. In a way, you're right. I don't know Emma. But I know her - or a part of me does anyway. Do you remember how you found me twenty years ago? Drunk and alone and passed out, with no memory of how I got there?"
"Yeah - what does that have to do with Emma?"
"Well, according to Emma, it was twenty years ago that I came here from another realm, called the Enchanted Forest. She claimed that I was a pirate captain in another life, and that when I came to this land - she calls it the land without magic - I did not have all my memories. And the ones that I did have, they were modified to fit this world." Killian paused, waiting with bated breath for Will to react.
Will looked understandably concerned, his eyebrows pulled together into a deep frown. "Killian, that is absurd. You write about pirate captains, that doesn't make you one."
"Will, what if the adventures I have written about were simply my own forgotten memories?" Killian pressed. "I know this is hard for you to believe. It was for me too. But I am not lying to you."
"So, what? You suddenly have your memories back and you're leaving to this Enchanted Forest?" Will exploded, jumping up from his seat. He started to pace back and forth in front of Killian. "Look, you can tell me if you've fallen off the wagon, alright? I can get you the help you need. But this? Lying? Coming up with these - these stories?! That is insane, Killian!"
Killian rose as well, angered by Will's accusations. "Watch yourself, Sanders. You do not need to believe me, but you have no right to throw around such allegations," he growled.
"You're not drinking again?" Will asked, his tone much softer, almost confused.
"No. I would never, you know that. You know me better than that." Killian still felt on edge, his hand fisted at his side. He let out a deep breath, forcing his muscles to relax. "Will, you've known me for years now. You must have wondered too, why I look the same, even after all these years. I should be well into my 50s, and I don't look a day over 35, mate. What Emma said, it makes sense. My world had felt off-kilter for years, and from the moment I met her, it feels like it's almost back in the right place. It's more than a feeling, Will. It's instinct, like a part of me that has been hidden for all this time is being brought forth."
Will sighed, almost resigned. He remained silent for so long, Killian was certain that Will thought him insane. "I always thought you just dyed your hair," he mumbled finally.
Killian looked at him in confusion, but it dawned on him a moment later. He chuckled, "Turns out, I'm an all powerful immortal being."
"Huh."
"What?"
"Nothing. I just need a moment to wrap my head around all this."
"But you believe me?" Killian asked hopefully.
"It's a lot that you're expecting me to believe….but, I - I think I do," Will confessed. "Like I said, I might need a moment. But if this is what you believe, and if pushing the tour back and going on adventures is what you need - I can make that happen."
Killian felt a swell of gratitude for his friend, and couldn't help but hug him tight. "Thank you, mate."
-/-
21 years ago: Enchanted Forest
It took Killian precious time to reach the stables. At first, he had stabled his horse at the base of the tower, but it made far too much trouble, just to feed and water it. He had finally decided to get Maximus housed at a proper stable, with stable boys around to tend to him. Back then, a short trek to the stables had not been an issue for him, but in his hurry to get to the healer and back to Alice, every second of delay was excruciating. He would have foregone the horse if he didn't have to bring the healer back with him.
Killian let out a sigh of relief when he finally reached the stables, quickly preparing Maximus for the ride. Unfortunately, Maximus seemed quite agitated having been woken in a flurry. "Here, boy-o. Here," he soothed his steed, feeding him an apple. "We need to hurry for little Alice. You remember her? I've told you so many tales, huh?" he whispered. When Maximus had calmed down sufficiently, Killian hopped over the horse's back and guided him from the stables.
Killian kicked his heel lightly against Maximus' flank, sending him into a swift gallop. They practically flew through the forest, both man and beast well equipped in navigating in the dark. There was not a single moment where Killian stopped worrying about Alice; how could he when his little girl was suffering? These kind of illnesses, ones that creeped up on people…those acted quickly, and they acted smart. He should have gotten a healer to Alice at the first instance of her falling ill. He had falsely assumed it to be a minor issue, not unlike the other times she had been sick.
How could he have been such a fool? His own mother, his daughter's namesake, had perished from a similar illness. He'd be damned if something were to happen to his Alice; he had lived more than his fair share of lifetimes, but it was for Alice that he had given everything up. Hell, Alice was his everything. He refuses to lose her.
He pushed Maximus to go faster, his own heart racing in fear for his child. I'll pay any price, just let her live, he prayed, riding forth, even as tears pricked his eyes.
-/-
Emma felt Alice's forehead again, her shoulders sagging in disappointment when she found that the girl was still burning up. Alice was asleep now, but it was not a peaceful sleep. Emma watched helplessly as Alice whimpered and called out to her 'Papa', a few tears leaking out the corners of her closed eyes. Emma had not let go of Alice's hand for even a single moment since Killian left. It was mostly for comfort, but she had been constantly sending pulses of her magic through Alice, in hopes that it would help keep her stable, if not improve her condition. Emma had seen something like this once, when Regina's father had become sick. Ser Henry did not survive the week, and Emma could not let that happen to this little girl.
Regina's father had been a much older man, and Alice was a healthy girl. She had read a book on physiology that spoke of how children had better chances of surviving illness due to something called an immune system. In moments of crisis, where her magic did not seem to work, Emma had turned quite often to the other sciences, understanding their logic and usefulness. She only hoped that the combination of her light magic, and whatever medicines they had given Alice so far worked, at least until the healer arrived.
Unfortunately, Emma was not certain she would be able to hold on much longer. She could already sense how weak she had become over the past hour, her magic draining steadily from her with no break. But until she absolutely could not, Emma would not stop. Helpless to do anything else, Emma gazed softly at Alice, her heart swelling with affection and concern for the little girl.
Emma had tried very hard not to grow attached to Alice and Killian, but from the time Killian had told her that she was a part of this family, she found it impossible not to. Especially when she had heard the truth about Alice's mother. What kind of a person would abandon their own child like that? she thought, in disgust. Emma made a silent promise to never allow that woman near Alice.
-/-
Present Day: Land without magic
"What's the verdict doc? How is she doing?" Killian asked, unable to sit still from the moment Dr. Altman walked in to the room. Emma couldn't resist rolling her eyes; they had poked, prodded, and hooked her up to machines all morning. In all her years, she had never hated getting treated for an illness before. And while Killian's concern was charming, it was grating on her nerves quite a bit.
She knew that they will not find anything medically wrong with her. Her heart was giving out because she had used too much of her magic in the Land without Magic. She pushed her body to heal faster with an unstable element. The only way for her to fully heal was to get back to the Enchanted Forest. She had been hasty to reunite with Killian, and she was paying the consequences.
"Everything seems fine," Dr. Atlman declared, her tone laced with confusion, as if she could not believe what she was saying herself.
"I told you." Emma could not help shooting her doctor a smug grin. Pfft, she thought. These healers wouldn't know magical ailments if it hit them in the face.
"Are you certain?" Killian asked, ignoring Emma. "She's alright? Nothing medically wrong?"
"Not that I can see, Mr. Jones. In fact, I ran the tests twice. No anomalies."
Killian's shoulders sagged in relief, turning to Emma with a giant grin. Emma was touched: this may not be her Killian Jones, but underneath his false memories, he was still the man that she fell in love with. It was unfair of her to keep his memories from she had to. That was the only way she could make him focus on their mission. Her and Alice had worked too hard, and sacrificed too much to let anything hold them back from saving Killian.
The moment they returned to the Enchanted Forest, his magic would be activated. So would his darker impulses. If he found out that Emma had lied to him about Alice, and kept her disappearance from him….She could not fathom what he would do.
Emma shook herself from the dark direction of her thoughts, instead focusing on what Killian was saying.
"-will get your discharge paperwork, Emma. Don't worry." He smiled, oblivious to her lack of attention. When he moved to leave, Emma stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.
"Killian, we need to leave this realm and go back home, as soon as possible."
"I know, Swan," he assured. A shiver ran up her spine when he said that. It had been years - decades really - since he'd had called her that. Emma bit her lip, watching as he walked out of the room. It took everything in her not to kiss him, to wake him up and bring her Killian back, consequences be damned.
But she just had to be patient. Once the Darkness was taken care of, she would make sure he knew everything. And they would save Alice from Gothel's clutches. Emma could not let that evil bitch get her hands on the Dark One's dagger, not when she intended to erase all of human race with it.
They never should have believed her in the first place.
-/-
21 years ago: Enchanted Forest
It took a lot of convincing from Killian, in addition to a hefty bag of silver doubloons, before the healer agreed to come with him back to the tower. Madam Adeline insisted on riding on her own horse, reassuring Killian that despite her age, she would be able to keep pace with him and Maximus on her own steed.
They sped to the tower, Killian's nerves frazzled from both worry and lack of sleep. He barely noticed the rising sun on the horizon, pushing Maximus to go faster. When he had the time, after Alice was all better, he was going to ensure his steed got a proper treat, perhaps even a groomer.
"We're here," he exclaimed, dismounting and landing on his feet. He helped Madam Adeline off her own horse, hoisting her bag of medicinal supplies over his shoulder, ready to being his climb up the tower.
"How am I to get up there, boy?" Madam Adeline demanded, her hands on her hips and head tilted up to look at the tower.
That stopped him short. He had no way of getting the old woman up, nor a way to bring Alice down. If only he had a magical staircase….
"Magic," he murmured, an idea forming in his head. "Emma!" he called out, his voice bellowing in the silent woods.
"Killian?" Emma popped her head out of the large window, her hair a curtain around her face. "You're back!"
"Aye! Could you use your magic and transport Madam Adeline and me up the tower?" Killian was certain she would not refuse, and he was right. Emma replied in affirmative almost immediately. A white cloud enveloped them moments later, like a warm embrace; both he and Madam Adeline were standing at Alice's bedside before they could blink.
Madam Adeline did not appear fazed at the display of magic, and instead took a seat next to Alice, checking her pulse and murmuring softly to herself. Killian watched as Emma moved to the corner.
"How is she doing?" Killian asked, dropping Madam Adeline's bag and kneeling at Alice's side, taking her hand in his own.
"She seems to be a bit better now, stable at least," Emma whispered, watching from the corner as Madam Adeline assessed Alice's condition. "Is Alice going to be alright, ma'am?" she directed to the healer.
"I'll do my best, dear," the older woman promised. "She seems to have had a little extra help, no?" she asked, shooting Emma a conspicuous look.
Killian's brows pulled together, bemused at Madam Adeline's comment. He turned to Emma inquisitively, but she simply shook her head. He would ask her about it later, once Alice was deemed fine by Madam Adeline.
Every moment of the hour it took Madam Adeline to diagnose Alice was agonising. Killian watched with rapt attention, never leaving Alice's side, as the healer mixed herbs and potions, with Emma assisting her when Madam requested it. She applied a poultice to his girl's forehead; Killian could not find a word to describe the relief he felt when he noticed Alice's expression changing from agitation to something resembling serene.
"Prop the child up, lad," she instructed, and Killian was quick to follow. He gently lifted Alice, propping her against his chest. His heartstrings pulled when she remained limp in his arms, so tiny and fragile, her skin still pale and clammy to touch. Madam Adeline delicately worked Alice's mouth open, pouring a measure of a potion into her mouth.
Killian waited with bated breath for something to change, and while it was not instantaneous, Alice's sweating ceased soon after. Both he and Emma let out a sigh of relief at the chance of allowing Alice to have a proper night's sleep.
"Your child has a rare case of a fever that usually is from a lack of exposure to the sun," Madam Adeline explained softly. "It's often hard to diagnose, but quite easy to treat. Unfortunately, most people pass it off as a fever. It can have drastic consequences. You did right by coming to fetch me, lad." She handed a large vial of the potion she had fed Alice, and a container of the paste the poultice was made out of to Killian, giving him the instructions for their use. "But the best medicine would be to get the girl more sun. She is as pale as the moon, that one!"
Killian's jaw clenched, both in helplessness and in anger. Yet another reason I need to break the bloody spell, he thought. Almost as if she sensed his darkening mood, Emma reached for his hand, lacing her fingers through his and squeezing gently, as if to remind him that he was no longer alone in his pursuit to free Alice. He turned to her with a smile, but his expression soon soured as he got a good look at Emma.
She looked white as a sheet, her eyes sunken and gaze weak, as if she could not focus her sight properly. Her grip, light as it was, slackened and her brows furrowed. She blinked a time or two, worrying Killian. "Swan?" he asked, waving his hook in front of her when she did not respond.
"Dear, is everything alright with you?" Madam Adeline asked, all the while reaching for Emma's wrist to check her pulse.
"Yes. I - I feel fine." Emma waved their concern away; however, her words and actions seemed to contradict each other, when she swayed in her spot. Killian was quick to steady her with an arm around her waist.
"Like bloody hell you are," he growled, his worry escalating.
"Her pulse is very weak," Madam Adeline added. "She must have over-exerted herself."
Killian was about to ask what the woman was harking about when Emma leaned heavily on him. "Swan?" He turned his neck to look at her, alarmed at her closed eyes and slack expression.
"Hmm?"
"Love, look at me. Hey, Swan?" Her eyes fluttered open, as if waking from sleep. "What's wrong?" he asked, not able to hide the panic from his voice.
Whatever Emma had to say, she did not get to; her eyes fell shut and her knees seemed to buckle right underneath her. If Killian had not caught her, she would have crumpled to the ground.
"Emma!" he exclaimed, carrying her to her bed and laying her down. "Swan?" He patted her cheek, trying in vain to wake her. "What is wrong with her?" he demanded, his tone sharp and cutting.
Madam did not seem rattled by his harshness, quietly examining Emma. "She's just worn out, lad." Her voice was warm, almost soothing. "She seemed to be quite the magical one, doesn't she?"
"What does that have to do with anything?" he snapped.
"She must have channeled all her magic through your child. Alice would not have survived the night without it." Madam Adeline pressed her palm to Emma's forehead, murmuring, "Poor child. She must have exhausted herself. It could be very bad for the lass."
Killian's eyes widened at the healer's implication. He felt the guilt build up in his chest. He knew Emma cared for Alice, but for her to go so far… It was unfathomable. She loved Alice, like she was Emma's own blood. She had been ready to deplete her own magic to save his child; how could he ever repay her kindness?
"Is she going to be fine?" he asked in a whisper, eyes never straying from Emma's prone form.
"Aye. She will be fine, eventually. Just ensure she never does something like that again," Madam Adeline warned. "Light magic is unlike others. It's a part of her, just like her flesh, blood, and bones. Overusing it would hurt her, physically. It could weaken her heart or her mind. It could leave her powerless for a while. Any number of problems. Her magic, it's not limitless, and pushing the limits might be fatal."
Killian's breath hitched when he heard that, his heart feeling tight in his chest. In such a short time, Emma had ingrained herself in his and Alice's life - she was truly a part of his family. Something like that happening to her was inconceivable. He hesitated, before he pressed a feather light kiss to Emma's forehead. He could have sworn he saw her fingers move then, but she made no other movement, and he convinced himself that he imagined it.
-/-
Present day: Land without magic
"You ready to leave?" Killian asked, popping his head through the door.
Emma looked away from the conversation she had been having with Will, smiling at Killian. "Yes, quite. I've come to dislike hospitals," she complained. Both men chuckled, before they left the room, allowing her to get ready.
Emma had been surprised when she found out that Killian had told his friend the truth, but she understood where he came from. She should have expected it, of course. She knew that he had to have had an actual life these past twenty years. She had been dreading finding out that he had found a love in this realm, tortured herself with the thought. But it was at moments like this where she would feel his loneliness the most, echoing her own heartache. As much as it wreaked havoc on her heart, it was a welcome pain - it was reminder that her love was waiting for her, and for Alice. It was a reminder of what she had to fight for. She had spent all her sleepless nights replaying her memories with him. Unfortunately, while linking her life to his froze her body from aging, it did not freeze her memories.
She could remember those nights when she felt his strongest emotions, but not remember what his voice sounded like. It was awful; she lived her life in halves - half a heart, half her memories. Alice was her solace; in her efforts to keep Killian alive for the girl, she forced herself to remember him. To never allow his child wonder about how much Killian loved her. It was only on her worst days that she hated her memories, and hated him for not having his.
But once he got his memories back, he would remember two lives. Two truths, two paths. Two different and yet very similar people. For that, she did not envy him. For now, she was simply glad that he was not truly alone. That he had Will by his side, even if it was not constantly. He had someone to worry about him, who could do something about it.
Emma sniffled loudly, wiping at the few tears that managed to slip down her face. She needed to stop with these bouts of self-pity, misery, and longing. That did not a healthy combination make. There was a bigger picture for her to bear in mind: destroy the darkest force in all the realms, stop an evil bitch from ruining said destruction, and rescue a sweet little girl from the clutches of the aforementioned bitch.
Emma sighed, checking her reflection. There was not much she could do to make it appear as though she had not spent the night in the hospital. She did look a tad pale, however. That was quite worrisome. She had assumed they had more time until she became ill; but fortunately, Killian seemed willing to leave with her. They simply had to hurry. She just needed to add that to the ever-growing list of concerns.
"Emma? You about done in there, love?" Killian called out, breaking Emma away from her spiraling thoughts.
Emma huffed, pinching her cheeks to bring some colour to them before opening the door. She groaned when she spied the wheelchair Killian had brought with him. "I have two perfectly capable legs that can walk me out, Killian. There is no need for this contraption."
"Yes, that may be so. But I would feel better, so come on, Swan. Hop on." There it was again. He called her 'Swan'.
When she had chosen a last name for herself in this realm, she had not wanted to be presumptuous and go with Jones. She opted for something that had been close to her heart, though. Her Killian loved calling her that - a name for her that was all his, he used to say.
She had never been able to resist him when he used it then, and she wasn't now. "Alright," she indulged, rolling her eyes. "Where's Will?" she asked, when she noticed the absence of the other man.
"He had to get back home. Unlike me, he actually has a job that requires him to go everyday to the office."
Emma nodded, half listening as he spoke of Will's girlfriend. She had to tell him about her magic, if she wanted to get him to leave for their journey back immediately. Luckily, once they got back to the Enchanted Forest, reaching Merlin's abode would take only a day or two's journey by foot. She just had to retrieve the Dark One's dagger from where she had hidden it.
"Emma? Where did you go off to?" Killian asked. She really must learn not to get too lost in her thoughts around him.
"Nowhere. I'm right here." Perhaps it was the words she had said, or even the way she had said it, but Killian's expression softened into something that was heartwarming, a swell of attraction brewing at her gut for this man. This version of Killian Jones, a little lost, a little broken, but ultimately a good-hearted man who believed her and willing to follow her into inconceivable danger.
"Yeah. Yeah, you are." He looked like he wanted to say more, but he just bit his lip and helped her into the vehicle that had been waiting for her. "Let's go home."
"Home," she intoned. She turned her face to the window, pretending to look at the building, hoping it served enough to hide her tears.
-/-
Gothel had been in the Land without Magic for the past three years, waiting patiently for Emma Swan to arrive. That wretched blonde might think she knew everything, but even she would not be able to predict Mother Gothel's next move. She had all the opportunity to approach Killian in the years she had been in the Land without Magic. She had even led Emma to believe that she was after him when she had attacked her in the alley. She simply needed Emma to lead her straight to the dagger; then she could finally reunite with her Coven. They would harness the power of the Darkness, control it, and lay waste to all those who wronged them. The Dark One would be the least of their worries then.
Gothel smiled, tracing the flowers etched into the glass coffin her dear daughter was slumbering in. Soon, she would be the master of the darkest force in all the realms; not even the most powerful light magic could stop her then.
"I will wake you up soon, my dear," she whispered, her breath fogging up the glass. "You will help me attain my destiny, Alice. You will see soon enough for yourself how weak humans are."