DISCLAIMER: Whedon's characters, any recognizable dialogue, and the canon events of their storyline are not mine.

A/N:

Thanks for the lovely reviews and additional follows – I went to sleep last night with happy thoughts and a smile on my face... and then there were more today. With gratitude, here's another chapter for you.

CHAPTER 4

trigger, scythe, L.A., & a snog

Buffy gathered her thoughts and regrouped after that last kiss – another brain-scrambler. "So… about a year from now when you go get a soul, you come back before the school year starts – in the new high school building, by the way. And the Hellmouth is bigger and badder than it's ever been. The center of it all is in the basement under the principal's office, which is where the library used to be. Yeah, so… hmmph. The new principal … he's a good guy. Ends up helping us out quite a bit. Good in a fight. Can handle himself against vamps and other evil types."

"Really?" Spike said incredulously. "They taught him that at university?"

"No. Funny story – well, actually not funny at all. Coincidental. His mother was a slayer. He was raised by her watcher." She let that sink in before she gave additional info. "He's African-American. Originally from New York City. His mother wore a long black leather coat."

"You're not serious! I killed his mum? Bet he's just thrilled about fighting alongside me!"

"Things are a little bumpy at first – and that's just when he's trying to date me and when he finds out that you're a vampire. After he figures out who you are and what you did, he tries to kill you. He provokes you into a fight using the trigger that had been programmed into your brain, put there by the First – that's how it controls you, why you start feeding again. It had other plans for you, but when the trigger was dealt with, it couldn't control you anymore."

She considers how to approach this topic. "It took a while for us to figure out that a song was connected to your behavior – that it was the trigger. Also, you weren't comfortable talking about it. You never did tell me anything beyond the fact that your mother sang it to you. But it seemed like it was linked to a bad memory. Sorry to bring it up tonight – you know, since you need to focus later on. But you'll need to find a way to take the sting out of that memory so that they can't use that against you."

"How did you deal with the trigger? Get rid of it, neutralize it?"

"Actually, it happened while Principal Wood was trying to kill you. He played the song and it brought out your worst nature, the pure demon in you. While you were fighting him physically, you were wrestling with yourself internally. You resolved it. That's why I said earlier … whatever that painful memory is … that you associate with the song your mom sang to you – sort that out." She decided to pivot away from that, since he was clearly becoming uncomfortable. "Anyway, he tried to kill you, but he didn't succeed. And you didn't kill him – you showed him mercy. By the way, that won some points with me. Besides, I need both of you in the big battle at the end of that school year."

"We win that one right? Save the world? Be heroes and all that?"

"Yeah, but not without loss and sacrifice. It takes some time for us to figure out that the big bad is the original evil, 'The First.' As it starts to heat things up here in SunnyD, potential slayers from all over the world start to gather here. Giles brings some from England. Others come by bus. It gets very crowded in this house. Faith comes back. Things get … complicated. There comes a point where some of the girls start to question my leadership, my decisions. They're afraid I'm not doing enough to prepare and protect them, afraid that they'll get killed. The First plays with us all, manipulates us – it can masquerade as any dead person. I think at certain points of your madness it appeared to you as me and even as yourself."

After Buffy answered a few of his questions about The First, she continued, "At one point, Giles sends you to a monastery or a mission and you find out something about an item The First doesn't want me to get my hands on. While you are gone, they vote me out, because they don't like my battle plan. But what you find out confirms that I was right. When you get back, you come find me and we spend that night in each other's arms – fully clothed, in case you're wondering. The next day, you told me that that was the best night of your existence." She glances down and then back to his eyes. "It's quite possible that me coming here now will change events and that night may not happen the same way. I'm sorry for that – it was incredibly special to me too. After that, I take on the evil preacher working with The First and get the weapon he didn't want me to have – a scythe made just for the Slayer. Then, I have to go in and save as many of the girls as I can, because they walked into a trap."

"I assume they welcome you back ... you get to say 'I told you so' … and then we save the world?"

"Well, it's never that simple. Is it? Somewhere in there, after I come back with the scythe, I come up with a plan to empower all the potential Slayers, so that we have an army of Slayers. They've been training throughout that time. You and I have been teaching them what they need to know and taking them on patrols. Giving them just a little more than they're ready for each time. But part way through the big battle itself – thanks to Willow – they all transform from Potentials into Slayers. We do lose people though."

Pausing to flip the 90-minute cassette, as it was very near the end of the 45-minute side, she momentarily pondered the 30-minute difference between the length of the tape and the two hours she was given. Deciding she did not have time to worry about it, she hit the record button again and then continued speaking. "I gotta backtrack. After they voted me out and then I came back to the fold, but before the battle, Angel comes to visit. He brings information, a weapon, and an offer of help. In my timeline, when he showed up, I kissed him. You and I weren't exactly together at the time, but it made you jealous."

"You told me about it?"

"No, you saw us – though I didn't know until later that night when I got back to the house and we talked. But it really was just a kiss … and a short talk. Then, I sent him back to LA."

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"So you understand that Angel showing up here at that point in time is important. And it's not about me and him – no matter what it might look like or he might hope for. The info he brought was helpful and you used the weapon to end the battle. In fact …" Buffy looks down, covering her face with her hands, and starts to sob as the memory hits her.

Spike wrapped his arms around her. "Luv, what is it? Why are you crying?"

"You and that weapon turn Sunnydale – the entire city – into one big crater. It collapses in on itself."

"Bloody hell! How do we survive that?"

"Well, truthfully, some of us don't survive it. Oh, Spike…" She stares into his eyes and struggles to get the words out. "You stay and finish it, so that others – me included – can get out safely. Right at the last minute, you tell me to leave. You tell me that you have to stay. Just before that, I told you that I love you. You didn't believe me. I guess I can understand why you wouldn't or why it was easier for you to think that, under the circumstances. But I began to love you before that, I just hadn't said it yet."

"Is that why we're not together in your time? Because I'm dust?"

"You were going up in flames as I turned to leave. So I assume that you did dust, but then you were brought back – except not here, in LA. In fact, if I remember right, Andrew said that he heard you first appeared in Angel's office a few weeks later. However, when you come back, everyone can see you, but you don't have a physical body. There's a word for it – incorpurple… something or other. So, at first you don't contact me, because you aren't sure you are going to be able to stay in this world. Then, you try to leave LA, but are unable to get beyond the city limits. At some point, things changed and you could have come to me, but you gave up." Giving him a playful punch, "Don't do that this time. Please, don't. When you get to Angel's office, there's a woman there who helps you. A scientist. Her nickname is a guy's name – Fred, that's it. Winifred. Have her call me and tell me what's going on. I can almost guarantee you – assuming that things don't turn out any worse between us than they did in my timeline – that I'll come to you as quickly as possible. It'll be a hassle to deal with Angel, but we'll deal. Oh yeah, and heads up – Harmony is a receptionist in the office."

"You weren't kidding when you said there were a lot of details to remember – good thing you've got the tape recorder going. Have a feeling I'd remember that last tidbit, though." He groaned.

She sighed before beginning again, "The part in all of this that I don't know how to advise you on is that year in LA. In my timeline, you stayed there to help Angel and his team. They might be fine without you during all that, but I'm not entirely sure. During that time, I was mostly in Europe. I suppose we could try a long-distance relationship. It doesn't really matter, just make sure to have Fred call me when you show up in LA." Buffy took a deep breath, looked Spike in the eye and said, "The reason we're not together in my time is partly because you didn't contact me, but partly because at the end of that year, which is three years from now, there's an apocalyptic battle in LA. Honestly, I'm not exactly sure how it went down. I haven't been able to get in touch with anyone or get any definitive answers. That was the final straw – why I went to the Powers That Be to ask for a second chance. I couldn't lose you. Not again. I just don't think I could survive going through that again."

He placed a finger to her lips as he said, "Shhh. Don't talk like that, luv. I will do everything in my power to prevent you being in pain. Kiss it and make it all better, I will."

He traced his thumb along her lower lip and she slowly brought her lips into a pucker against the tip of his thumb. As her lips released from the kiss, he moved his thumb to the inside of her bottom lip, allowing her tongue the opportunity to trace the tip. He held her gaze as she gently took his thumb into her mouth. As she released her hold on it, he slowly brought it out over her chin and down the front of her throat. His fingers reached around behind her neck and then his palm firmly held the back of her head. When he kissed her, it was whisper soft, as he was still unsure of where the boundaries were. She moaned as she leaned into the kiss. And he was a goner.

He broke the kiss long enough to check how much time was remaining on the clock – just over an hour. He turned back to Buffy, resting his forehead against hers. "Don't want to press my luck here, pet, but if you're finished with the rambling narrative, we do seem to have some time before we need to be back in our previous places on the stairs … so that you can leap back into your body, all unsuspecting like." Not that he needed to, but Spike was breathing heavily – and enjoying the smell of her skin as he inhaled. That scent. How would he exist without it for five months? "What would you like to do with our remaining time? If you need any suggestions, I could make a few."

Buffy leaned back, placing both her hands on his chest. He was not sure what she was thinking or what she would decide. Neither was she, as removed her hands from him. She knew that there had to be more that she could tell him about, but at the moment, nothing came to mind – as she was distracted by and attracted to the one who sat before her. She pressed stop on the cassette recorder and placed it beside her on the stairs. Then, she stood and reached down for his hand. Spike looked up into her eyes as he took it and allowed her to lead him up the stairs and down the hallway. They paused at the doorway to Buffy's bedroom.

A/N:

Earlier that evening he did say: "Alright, I'll behave. But talk fast. Let's be sure to leave some extra time on the clock. Pretty please?" … Next chapter soon. Thanks again for reading!