Hello, hello! I almost forgot that today was Thursday - I started at a new job! Anyway, you don't care. Thank you for your continued interest in this fic. I love reading your comments - even if I haven't replied to them, PLEASE know that they mean the world to me.
sambethe was so great throughout. Thank you, for the banner and the artwork for chapter 2 and chapter 5. And for being a third set of eyes on this fic! downeystarkjr I still can't get over how great your videos are, both the teaser and the longer one. Please go to their tumblrs and check it out!
accio-ambition, thank you for being so sweet and for finding the time to edit this despite how busy you were. Ily.
omg we're almost at the end!
Present Day: Enchanted Forest
"What did Emma tell you again?" Killian asked, taking leaping steps just to keep pace with his daughter's rapid steps.
"That the Dagger was with an old friend. There is only one person Mama would give it to," Alice replied, trying to hurry as much as she could.
"Someone she trusted the most?" Killian guessed. But as far as he knew, Emma hardly trusted anybody, let alone enough to entrust his dagger to them.
"Nu-uh, that would be the first person anyone would torture. She gave it to Ariel, Queen of the Water Realms. She can travel between the realms anytime she wanted, and could make a quick getaway."
Killian knew Ariel; they had been something like friends at some point, despite the animosity between pirates and mermaids. "Ah. She's a nice lass. How are you going to contact her though?" he asked, his brows furrowed in confusion.
Alice huffed, stopping in her tracks, pulling a seashell necklace from around her neck. "Using this. I have already sent her message via shell. She should be waiting for us, we must hurry. Now, stop asking questions and follow me!"
Killian frowned, a reprimand ready on his tongue. But he realised with a pang that she was not a little girl anymore; she had been right to take that tone. Emma and Alice had a plan in place and he needed to respect that she knew what she was doing. They had only a small lead, with Gothel being occupied with Emma. She would come after them soon if she realised that they had the Dagger. So far, the only person Gothel thought knew about the Dagger was in her custody. And they had to maintain the ruse for as long as they could.
It took them a few hours, but Alice and Killian finally managed to break through the treeline and onto the short beach. Alice looked around frantically, vibrating on the spot like she was ready to explode. Killian might not know much about this version of his daughter, but her anxiety was not anything new.
"Starfish, Ariel will be here. It will be fine," he said in a soothing, slow tone, grabbing Alice softly by the shoulders and making her look at him. "Deep breaths, sweetheart. That's it, just concentrate on your breathing." He did the breathing exercise along with her, until he felt she had calmed down enough.
Alice sighed, rubbing at her forehead. "Why would Mama do that?!" she exclaimed. "I never should have let her."
Killian chuckled, despite the situation they were in. "Love, I've come to realise that once your mother has set her mind on something, it is neigh on impossible to change her mind. Besides, in her place, I would have done the same thing." He let out a long breath, his hand and hook resting on his hips. "That does not mean I condone what she did."
"That's exactly what you did. Actually, what you did was a million times worse." Alice's tone might have been matter-of-fact, but her words hit him in the gut. He had had the chance to apologise to Emma, but he hardly even said goodbye to his little girl before he left her.
"Starfish, I'm so sorry. I-" But Alice held up her hand to half him mid-sentence.
"It's alright, Papa. I mean, it's not alright, but it is for now. We will have time for apologies and regret after we get rid of the Darkness and save Mama."
"That is exactly what your mother said." He was in awe of the young woman in front of him, and he owed it all to Emma. She was the one who had raised Alice into a smart, brilliant young woman. He couldn't have done a better job; there would always be a part of him that loathed himself for missing out on the chance to be a good father. And unwittingly, he had lost that chance again because of what had happened with Charles.
He was saved from the dark direction his thoughts were taking by Ariel's timely arrival. His joy was short lived, though, because the moment he stepped closer to Ariel, the voices in his head grew louder, the Darkness calling out to him, telling him to take his Dagger and run away. To protect himself. He squeezed his eyes shut, staying rooted in place and watched as Alice greeted the mermaid and exchanged pleasantries that he was too far away to hear, and too consumed by the sudden urge to hunt Gothel down.
He lost track of how long he had stood in one place, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to block his ears against the assault of the Darkness. He realised that he had been in control for so long because the Dagger was in another realm. It was a hundred times harder now to quell the voices in his head. He was forced out of his catatonic state by Alice dumping a bucket of cold water over his head. He started at her, dripping with salt water as she stood above him, panting slightly and the now empty bucket still held aloft.
"Th-ank you," he sputtered out, pushing his hair from his face, and standing up properly. "I apologise, Starfish. I don't know what got over me."
Alice nodded, dropping the bucket next to him and taking a seat. She patted the spot next to her, but he could still hear the dull echoes of the Dagger and chose to stand instead. "Was it the Darkness?" she asked softly.
He hesitated to answer her for a very long time, but finally relented, letting out a giant sigh. "Aye."
"It's the Dagger." It was more of statement than a question, and Killian was unsure what he could reply to that. Alice nodded to herself, staring at the horizon for a long time, both of them in somewhat comfortable silence.
"D'you know I hate magic?" she asked, but he had a feeling it was rhetorical, and allowed her to talk. "I do. Magic is what trapped me in that tower, magic is what took you away from me. Magic is what caused Emma and I so much pain in our lives. I could never understand why Mama loved it so much, even after all that had happened. She even wanted me to learn, harness my own magic. But she always understood. She even stopped using magic for me. She's- She my mother in every single way. Not just in the way that counts. I actively reject Gothel as my mother." The last part was said with such vehemence, so completely different from the tone she had adopted for the rest that it startled Killian.
He finally took a seat next to Alice, while still maintaining enough distance from the Dagger. "Darling, I realise that I have not been the best father. I know that Emma has made sure that you do not have to suffer the same fate as we both did as children. You are right, she truly is your mother in every single way, and I have just treated her so terribly. I have treated you terribly. How do we get past that? I don't have the answer to that question, I don't have the answer to so many things. I just feel so lost, I feel so miserable and ashamed. So tell me, what do I do?"
Alice sighed heavily, resting her chin on her bent knees, and just stared at the horizon. Killian waited with bated breath for a moment, before deciding that he would not be getting a reply from her. But just as he was about to get up, Alice finally responded. "You don't do anything, Papa. You just need to give her time, give me time, and be there for us. We will get past it because we are family, and family means we never stop trying." She got up, giving him a hand and pulling him up, dusting the sand from her dress. Killian nodded at her, feeling a sense of calm wash over him. This might not have been forgiveness, but Alice's words gave him hope. She hesitated, as if she was contemplating saying something. "I love you, Papa. Even when I feel like I should hate you. I love you, because you're my Papa, and because you're here now."
Killian swallowed thickly at the lump in his throat, wordlessly accepting the olive branch she had offered. "Let's go, love. We have quite the journey to Camelot."
She reached into Emma's satchel, retrieving a leather cuff from it and handing it to him.
"I don't think that's my style, Starfish," he chuckled. Regardless, he took the cuff from her, examining it. As far as leather cuffs went, it was fairly routine, nothing that stood out to him about the craftsmanship or the quality.
"It suppresses magic," Alice explained. "In case you lose control," she added.
Killian's jaw clenched, the Darkness in him hissing at her insinuation. It scared him, how quickly his darker impulses came to the fore. The fear of doing something to harm his daughter was enough for him to place the cuff on immediately.
If Alice noticed the haste in which he put it on, she did not comment on it.
-/-
20 years ago: Enchanted Forest
Killian could feel every cell of his body corrupted by the black sludge of the Darkness, burning him from the inside out. All the pain and heartbreak that he had gone through amplified until his heart was nearly bursting from the agony, so much so that all he wanted to do was rip his heart from his chest and cut off his feelings all together. He felt unbelievably violated, the Darkness had taken over his body. He could feel the muck and grime settle in every crevice of his soul.
And when he emerged from his transformation, the Darkness had taken over so entirely - he felt born again, no longer restricted by the whims and restrictions of human existence. He felt the immensity of power at his disposal. He was Captain Hook once again. His lips spread into a wild grin - he had a blonde beauty to thank for liberating him.
Little did he know that Killian Jones was trapped, but alive, under the layers of rotten, filthy darkness.
-/-
Emma teleported herself back to the tower, making both Smee and Alice jump in fright. She couldn't blame them; she did practically stumble in like a deranged maniac, frantically yelling at Smee to "Leave, now!" Alice backed away from Emma, her eyes wide and blue, fear crystal clear in them. Emma sucked in a deep breath, if only to not frighten Alice any more than she already had.
She quickly relayed what had happened to Smee, promising to tell him the whole story after she had made sure Killian was fine. She hurriedly packed a sack for Alice, carelessly throwing together outfits for her. But she had not been fast enough. When she rounded the corner from Alice's space into the main room, a silent and docile Alice in tow, Killian was waiting for them, leaning casually against the window ledge. He looked up at that exact moment, a predatory grin on his face as he stalked towards them
Emma stopped dead in her tracks, pushing Alice behind her, the only defense between the child and the Dark One. Because the thing in front of her now was not the man she loved. This was not Killian, and frankly, she was afraid to find out who he was.
Killian stopped just in front of her, his head tilted to the side in a disapproving manner, lips in a slight pout.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk." He crouched in front of Emma, his gaze shifting to Alice who was hiding behind her, her grip tightening on Emma's trouser's leg. "It's me, Starfish," he crooned, his predatory look shifting into something far more soft.
"Papa?" Alice sounded scared, tentative. Emma saw Killian's jaw clench and he glared up at Emma, as if she was the one at fault for Alice fearing him. Emma met his gaze fearlessly.
He was the first one to look away, all of his attention focused on Alice. "Aye, my love. Are you ready to get out of here?"
"Really?" the child asked, a slight edge to her tone, almost like she was afraid to be hopeful.
"Aye, Starfish. Papa found a way. Told you I would, didn't I?" he grinned, reaching past Emma and taking a willing Alice into his arms, balancing her on his hip. He turned to Emma, his electric blue eyes fixed on hers.
"Are you afraid of me?" he asked in an unexpectedly soft tone.
Emma was afraid for him. She was scared about what the Darkness was doing to him, his mood all over the place, unreadable to her. But she did not fear him. But she knew, she could bring her Killian back. She stepped forward, tentatively brushing her knuckles over his cheek, her magic sparking, triggered by the Darkness in him. He then closed his eyes at her soft touch, his entire countenance losing the air of a man with great power. When his eyes opened, they were back to the cerulean of Killian Jones. She smiled.
"I could never be afraid of you. I'm afraid for you, my love," she confessed, her eyes shifting to Alice, who had her head resting against her father's shoulder, her thumb in her mouth. She only did that when she was most distressed.
-/-
Killian nodded in acceptance. He grabbed her hand, pressing a kiss to her knuckles, and pulled her closer, enveloping his girls in his arms. Once he was certain that they would be shielded properly, he expelled a blast of magic, strong enough to break any spell. He wanted to get the Dark One to free his daughter, and one way or another, that was what he did. The tower started disintegrating around them, and once he felt the spell keeping Alice trapped break, he magically transported all of them to a safer location.
His feet hit the ground hard, jostling the little girl in his arms, while Emma managed to land quite gracefully on her feet. Both the adults turned their gaze on Alice, who looked around her in awe. She was truly outside the tower for the very first time. She squirmed in Killian's hold, forcing him to let her go. And he hesitated for just a moment, concerned about her exploring too far. But Alice remained by their side, walking around and touching each tree, plant, and rock, gasping each time.
He had been enraged at Emma in the beginning; if it weren't for her insistence that he grab the Dagger, he would have escaped this curse. But it was only because of the Darkness that he had been able to save his daughter. That couldn't have been a bad thing, could it? He watched with amusement as his daughter explored the area around her, keeping up a constant chatter.
He chanced a glance at Emma, who was standing on the other side of the clearing they were in, but she was already looking at him with a strange expression. But she smiled at him when she noticed him looking. Odd, she looked almost contemplative.
Emma walked up to him, her hands behind her back. "I have something for you." She looked serious, confusing him further.
"What is it, Swan?"
"Something that belongs to you," She brought her hands forward, revealing the Dark One's Dagger.
The Darkness flared up, screaming at him to possess it, to never let it out of his sight. With the Dagger in his hands, he could do anything he wanted. He reached for it, his hand trembling, but Emma stopped him just before he could touch it.
"Wait. Wait, we need to talk about this."
"About what?" he growled, not able to take his eyes off of the Dagger.
"You seem different, Killian. You're not you. Maybe I should just hold on to the Dagger for you," she suggested. "I am just wo-"
Whatever the rest of her sentence was, Killian could not hear her over how loud the voice in his head was.
How dare she? The Darkness screamed inside his head. It's yours to take. She is trying to control you. Is that what you want?
"Shut up! Just shut up." He meant to snap at the voice in his head, but Emma jumped at his harsh tone, hurt flashing in her eyes.
"I-I'm sorry," she whispered, dropping the Dagger and backing away. "I'm going to go, and um, find us some food." Emma walked away from the clearing and toward the dirt road that led to the village. He watched as she glanced at Alice, hesitated, and then kept walking. His gut clenched: he scared her.
What if she was running away from him?
He took and Dagger and placed it in his jacket. He grabbed Alice, despite her protests against being dragged away from turtles, and followed after Emma. Alice continued to cry, beating on his back to let her down, but as much as it pained him, he needed to find Emma, and reassure her. It was just a misunderstanding; everything would be alright.
-/-
Present day: Enchanted Forest
Emma struggled against the magical shackles Gothel had her bound in, but it was in vain. Her binds were too tight. Her wrists painfully rubbed against them when she tried to wriggle her hand out.
"Why are you doing this? Why are you after me?" she spat out at Gothel.
Gothel ignored her, rummaging through the myriad of bottles on the table opposite, her back turned to Emma. A couple of moments passed and Emma started to sweat in the humid room. Gothel had restrained her in the woods and used magic to transport them both. The place resembled the mines, except instead of stone, the walls were made of soil. So it was damp, but still very hot.
Gothel let out a triumphant shout, finally having found what she had been looking for. She moved to face Emma, dangling a small vial at her. "Do you recognise this?"
"Should I?" Emma sassed, glaring at the witch.
"It's something I made, just for you. It's mostly sulphur."
"Aw, you shouldn't have."
Gothel ignored Emma's cheekiness. "Actually, I did use it on you once. Do you remember that?"
Emma glared at her, her heart raced simply remembering the pain Gothel's poison had caused. But Gothel continued, observing Emma with curiosity. "It was meant to corrupt you; that was what the sulphur was meant for. It destroys light magic from within. You should have never been able to survive that." She crouched in front of Emma, her head tilted to one side, her cold eyes staring at her unblinkingly, unnerving her. "I wondered, how you managed to stay so young over the years. I always assumed you used a glamour spell or a potion. It was only when I realised that my potion did not work that I started understanding what was really going on."
Gothel smirked at her. Emma knew her panic was clear by her expression. "You have a part of the Darkness in you, Princess," Gothel whispered gleefully. "My dark magic is no match for that, I know that now. I'm sure you're suffering enough as it is. You wouldn't survive losing your magic - you can't live without it and you can't live with it."
Emma couldn't understand how the witch had figured out her secret. She had been so certain that no one knew about it - not even Alice. It had taken a couple of years for Emma herself to even realise and understand. When Killian had linked the two of them together, some of the Darkness from him transferred to her. Emma assumed that the dark magic she had been sensing had been through the link belonged to Killian. But it was the dark magic in her own veins. Her magic was corrupted, both light and dark a part of each other. It had only become worse over the past 20 years.
Emma had not revealed this part of the plan to Killian for this reason - once they destroyed the Darkness, it would destroy her magic as well. It had been made pretty clear what would happen to her without her magic. She couldn't bring herself to tell her daughter and her love that she would not survive this. That there was no happily ever after for her.
-/-
20 years ago: Enchanted Forest
Emma heard Alice's cries before she heard Killian calling her name. She whirled around, startled to see the latter run up to her, holding a crying Alice in his arms.
"Swan," he breathed, stopping a few feet away from her.
"What's wrong with Alice?" she asked, stepping forward and taking the crying child into her arms, rubbing her hand over Alice's back to comfort her. Alice wrapped her arms tightly around Emma's neck, her cries muffled on Emma's shoulder.
Killian looked helpless, like he was on the verge of crying himself. He sank to the ground, sitting slumped against a tree, running his hands through his hair, pulling at it painfully. It hurt Emma to see him in such a condition, but she was clueless to help him.
"I think I frightened her. I just- I needed to come after you. I needed to stop you, Swan," he said after a long while, desperation dripping from his voice.
Alice's cries had died down by then, and she had drifted off, slumped against Emma. She did not blame her; Alice had had a very eventful evening and it must have been too frightening and confusing for a six-year-old to handle, no matter how intuitive she was.
"Stop me from what, Killian?" Emma snapped, her voice coming out in harsh whisper. "You yelled at me to 'Shut up.' I thought you needed a moment to calm yourself."
"I do not need to calm myself. I'm fine," he bit out through clenched teeth.
"No, you are not. This is not who you are - flying tempers, making Alice cry? That is the Darkness. You are losing control. We need to get rid of it."
He rose up, his eyes narrowed, and he looked at Emma contemplatively. "Oh, is that why you held on to my dagger? So you can ensure I don't 'lose control?' You want to control me, is that it?"
"Of course not!" Emma protested. She switched Alice to her hip, leaving one hand free. She did not want to, but if it came down to it, she had to protect herself and Alice against the Darkness. Even if it meant she had to harm him. "Killian, this is not you."
"No, Emma. This is better," he argued, keeping his voice down. Emma was relieved that he did not wake Alice up: she did not want the little girl to see her father this way. "I was finally able to get my daughter out of that hell. The only way I was able to do that was with magic. My magic. Not yours."
Emma reeled at that, feeling like she had been slapped. "I offered to use my magic. I would have done anything for Alice, you know that!"
But Killian ignored her, powering through his own speech. "You told me to grab the Dagger, Swan. You forced this on me, and now that I actually seem to like it, you just can't handle it." He wagged a finger at her, grinning like a maniac. "That's it, isn't it, love? You can't handle the fact that I'm stronger than you. That I don't need your magic."
Emma bit her lip, her heart clenching at his accusations, trying to convince herself that it was the Darkness making him say these things. He wanted to hurt her, but she couldn't give him that satisfaction.
"You and I both know that that's not true. We are a family. It doesn't matter who is more powerful."
"Ah, see, that's where you're wrong, Swan. All this time, you had me convinced that I needed you, that I needed your magic to save my daughter, when in fact, I didn't need you at all. Maybe you knew all along what needed to be done. You were just afraid that you would be left alone again, forever the orphan Princess."
Tears came unbidden to Emma, every word coming out of Killian's mouth hitting the mark. She pulled Alice closer, drawing comfort from her daughter.
"That is not fair. You're not thinking straight," she said quietly. Whether she was trying to convince Killian or herself, she wasn't sure. Her hand trembled as she reached for his, the dark magic sizzling under his fingertips. "This is not you. This is not the man I love."
"Perhaps the man you love is no more," he whispered, his eyes looking away from her, unable to meet her gaze.
Emma was rendered speechless. She was not sure what she could possibly do to bring her Killian back to her.
"I refuse to believe that," she said with conviction, drawing his attention back to her. "I love you, Killian Jones. Whether the Darkness likes it or not, I am not leaving." She grew more confident when he seemed to listen, drawing closer to him, her hand drawing up his arm and resting against his chest. "I know your heart, I know you're still there. Push the voices away. It's just the three of us here - you, me, and Alice."
Killian let out a deep breath, stepping away from her, Emma's hand dropping. "I don't know what's happening, Swan," he confessed, biting down hard at his lip. He squeezed his eyes shut, massaging his forehead.
Emma looked on, worried and helpless, wondering what she could possibly do to help her fiancé. "Talk to me, tell me what is going on inside your head. Lean on me."
Killian nodded, pulling her closer. He hesitated, before holding his arms out to take his daughter, and letting out a relieved breath when Emma handed her over. He held Alice close, centering himself.
"I apologise for the things I said to you, Emma. I wasn't thinking clearly."
Emma nodded, wordlessly accepting his apology. But she had to know. "Did you mean any of it? Do you really think- do you think that I kept things from you? That I tricked you into falling in love with me?" Her questions slipped out one after another, her insecurity rearing its ugly head.
Killian immediately pulled back, his hook resting on her waist. "No, absolutely not! I was- They were senseless words said in spite, my love. I was being an arse, and I'm sorry." A beat later, he added, "I never meant for those words to come out, Emma. It- I was just so angry, I was hurt. And in that moment, I wanted to hurt you, like you hurt me."
Emma swallowed thickly, not allowing him to notice the fear she felt building inside, painting a smile on her face instead. "It was the Darkness, Killian. It wasn't you. I've seen this before, I've seen the way it corrupts and destroys. We need to get rid of it, once and for all."
-/-
Present day: Camelot
It had taken Killian and Alice a week to reach Camelot by foot. He couldn't use his magic, and Alice had never tried using hers. While it had given them plenty of time to talk and for Killian to get to know his daughter again, each day was agonising as they both feared for Emma's life. Neither of them could understand why Gothel would want Emma, but the longer it took them to get rid of the Darkness, the worse their imaginations became. It had come to a point where neither of them spoke about what was happening to Emma; once again, she had sacrificed herself for Killian and Alice. Talking about it did nothing to relieve their guilt.
"Have you met this Merlin fellow before?" Killian asked, turning to Alice.
"Well, sort of. A very long time ago, we heard a rumour of an ancient sorcerer who could destroy the Darkness. But after a couple of months of research, we grew tired. It had been ten years at that point, I think, since you had been gone. It was a difficult year, for Mama. I was a hellion during my late adolescence," Alice said, making Killian chuckle.
Another good thing about the time he had spent with Alice? He was slowly beginning to let go of his guilt and enjoy learning new tidbits of information about his daughter's life.
"I'm sure if anyone could have handled it, Emma could have."
"You're not wrong. But that did deter her from looking for a way to get rid of the Darkness. Perhaps, if we had kept looking, we could have been reunited sooner." Alice shot him a tight smile, before looking down, remorseful.
Killian couldn't have his daughter blaming herself in any way. He stopped her, grasping her shoulders with hand and hook, waiting patiently for her to meet his eye. "Listen to me, Starfish. You have nothing to feel upset about. Things happened the way they were bound to happen. Emma made a decision to be a mother first. If I were in her place, I would have done the same thing."
Alice shook her head, pushing Killian away, her arms crossed petulantly. "This is all my fault. This started because you wanted to rescue me from that tower. Maybe I was better off-"
"No!" Killian snapped, making Alice jump. He wouldn't blame her; even when she had been a child, he had never raised his voice at her, let alone as an adult. "You need to stop blaming yourself. That is far too heavy a burden to carry on your shoulders, love. Gothel trapped you in that tower, and nothing you could have said or done would have stopped either me or Emma from saving you. You're our daughter - and that is what you do for your family, Alice. So, don't you dare think we would be better off. You saved me from a life of a pointless pursuit for revenge, you were there for Emma all those years I was gone. I probably never would have met Emma if it weren't for you. I owe everything to you, my darling." He smiled, drawing her into his arms, pressing a soft kiss to the side of her head. "Enough with such talk. Let us get to Merlin."
Another fifteen minutes of walking led father and daughter to a dilapidated bridge, both of them looking around concerned and confused. The more they ventured into Camelot, the more they were starting to realise that there was no one there; everything in Camelot seemed to be broken down, vines and shrubbery overgrown on the buildings. Everything looked abandoned, not like the thriving city Killian had come to expect.
"Are you sure this is the right place, Starfish?" Killian asked, helping her over a large, fallen pillar.
"Aye," she said, jumping to the ground with a grunt. "At least, I think so. This is Camelot."
"And this is where Merlin is supposed to be?" Killian asked with a scoff. "It looks like he hasn't been here for a while."
"Looks can be deceptive, Captain Jones," a man's voice spoke from behind them.
Killian and Alice whirled around, both of them drawing their cutlasses out and pointed them at the man's throat. He seemed oddly calm, smiling at them despite the threat. Killian regarded him curiously: he was dressed in brown and gold robes, his arms at his sides and looking at them pleasantly, as if his life wasn't being threatened. Killian could only think of one person who could be that brave.
"Merlin," he declared, his sword still held pointed at the wizard.
"Indeed. Now, if you could be so kind as to lower your weapons…"
Killian and Alice complied, sheathing their weapons. But Killian couldn't shake the wariness he felt. "What did you mean, 'looks can be deceptive?'" Killian's eyebrow raised questioningly at the wizard.
If possible, Merlin's grin grew wider and he waved his hand. Killian and Alice gasped at their surroundings melted away like candle wax, the decrepit area replaced by a thriving town square, people milling around them, vendors selling their wares.
Killian and Alice gaped as they saw all the people - Killian could not wrap his head around the display of magic. Just a moment ago, the place had been completely empty and neglected.
"Just a simple glamour to keep out unsavory characters," Merlin assured, his hands clasped in front of him. "Queen Guinevere had it put up when she formed the kingdom with Ser Lancelot," he informed them.
Killian was taken aback; all the stories that he had heard in the Land without Magic, King Arthur was the ruler of Camelot, and Lancelot was just a knight. "What about King Arthur?"
Merlin sighed, shaking his head. "Arthur...Well, he was nothing but a disappointment. Thankfully, our queen recognised it and made sure the people did not suffer from his obsession and neglect." He clapped his hands together, making father and daughter stare at one another doubtfully. "However, you are here for a different reason, aren't you?"
Killian shared a look with Alice before he stepped forward. "Perhaps there is somewhere else for us to speak, mate? Somewhere private, maybe?"
-/-
Present: Enchanted Forest
Emma let out an agonising scream, straining heavily in her bonds, as Gothel's newest creation wreaked havoc on her. The witch had been torturing Emma for the past week, injecting her with different concoctions, exploiting the Darkness in her to make her weaker. For so long, she had been able to manage having the Darkness be a part of her, had resisted using her magic for this very reason. Every time she had used her magic, it had been painful. It had taken her a year or two to get used to the Darkness and to train herself to draw from the light magic only. It had been fairly easy, there was hardly any dark magic in her. But she had not accounted for the Darkness to draw power from the light magic, never accounted for its growth.
The more the Darkness grew in her, the weaker she had become. She hadn't noticed it all until a year ago when she had found Merlin. He had noticed the growing Darkness in her, he had been the one to tell her of her fate; he had also told her that there was no way for them to separate the dark and light magic in her. They exist as one and would be destroyed as one. Perhaps, if you had come to me sooner, he had said. He had been the one to tell her Killian would be the only other person who would be able to remove just the Darkness. It had originally been a part of him, and would thus go back to him, leaving her light magic behind. Theoretically, that would be the outcome. She had almost tested that theory out, before Alice had come back.
Unfortunately for Emma, Gothel had learnt her secret as well. She had been injecting Emma with different potions to activate the Darkness in her. The weaker Emma grew, the less resistant she could be to Gothel's magic. She intended to get Emma as weak as she possibly could, before Gothel forced Emma to reveal the plan to get rid of the Darkness.
For the past week, Emma had been confident that she would be able to make it. Until today, Emma could feel the Darkness take root. She could feel the pain in every cell of her body, as if she was burning from within. It was unbearable, and Emma couldn't help but cry out. She had almost given up, almost begged Gothel to make it stop - but she refused to give the witch that satisfaction. She was stronger than that - she was the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming. Her parents had faced death with dignity; they might have been defeated, but they had their integrity. If Emma had to die, she would prefer to have her integrity intact. It was all she had left of her parents.
"My, my, aren't you the stubborn one," Gothel spat, wrapping her hand around Emma's throat and squeezing. "But you are so weak now, Emma. You're no match for my magic."
"Do whatever the hell you want. You can never stop the Darkness from being destroyed."
"That's where you're wrong, my dear. You're going to tell me exactly what your plan is, and I'm going to make certain you lot rue the day you met me."
-/-
20 years ago: Enchanted Forest
Killian and Emma had managed to set up camp at a riverbed. He caught them some fish, despite not feeling hungry, and Emma built a fire. Alice, now awake, watched everything they did with rapt attention, and she even helped Killian catch fish, jumping with joy when she first felt the water lapping at her feet, the smaller fish tickling her as they swam past. Killian silently enjoyed her carefreeness, her heart soaring at her happiness. This was all he wanted for her - but he had never anticipated the price would have been so steep. He knew what needed to be done, now. He had no control over this Darkness. He was weak, he had succumbed to it before in the past, and he had let it take over today. He could not imagine what would happen when he was not strong enough to pull back. He had seen the way it had wrecked Baelfire's family, seen what the Darkness had turned Rumplestiltskin into.
He did not want that for his family. He pulled out the magic bean he had been carrying with him for centuries, having stolen it from Pan on his very last visit to Neverland. He had held on to it in hopes that he would use it once he had freed Alice. But he needed to get away from here, where the temptation was always there. Nothing would be able to stop him from sinking, not even his family.
He had heard of the Land without Magic from Baelfire; he would use the bean to go there. He would make sure he did not have his memories, that he would have nothing that would bring him back here. Not until Emma had found a cure to this plague. She would understand his reasons, she had to. Killian could not handle being here, he did not want to fight against the Darkness for a second longer than he had to. And if he went to the Land without Magic, he wouldn't have to.
Once the fish was caught, cooked, and consumed, Alice promptly fell asleep again. That was good, he decided. He would not be able to tell Alice goodbye; he couldn't watch her cry again. He had hurt her enough.
"Killian?" Emma called out, pulling him away from his thoughts. "Is everything alright? Is it- is the Darkness speaking to you again?" she asked, worry evident in her tone.
He smiled at her half-heartedly, grabbing her right hand in his own, fiddling with the green stone ring on her finger. He remembered the night she had told him the story about it, about how her mother had stolen the ring from her father, and how Prince David found Snow White, and how they fell in love. He wanted something like that for them. He wanted True Love. He wanted to believe that they would find each other again, no matter how long it took.
"No, darling. Just my own thoughts that are keeping me awake."
"Do you want to talk about it? After all, aren't married people supposed to share their burdens?" Emma teased, smiling coyly at him.
"Oh, Swan," he said, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, pulling her to him. Emma snuggled into his body, pressing her nose to his neck, exhaling softly. "I love you," he whispered.
"I love you, too, Jones."
He closed his eyes, revelling in the moment, burning it to his memory. He needed just a moment, where everything was alright. He had finally managed to free his child, and he was engaged to the woman he loved. If it weren't for the Darkness, this would be the best moment of his life; he wanted to pretend that it was. Just for a moment.
So he did, but he pulled away the next. "I need to talk to you, Emma."
Emma pursed her lips, staring at him seriously. "Why do I get the feeling that I won't like what you are about to say?"
"Oh, you will most surely hate it. But I-"
"Don't say it," she cut him off. "Don't do it. Whatever you are thinking of - don't."
He sighed deeply, reaching for her hand, but she pulled away. She eyed him warily, her arms wrapped around herself protectively. "You don't get to hold my hand and break my heart, Killian."
"Dammit, Emma. I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm doing this for you," Killian snapped, standing up and starting to pace. "I need to leave, get far away from here. I am not strong enough to control this. I will descend much deeper into the Darkness, and I cannot come out of it. I will hurt you and Alice. I don't want that."
"What about what we want?" Emma whispered, eerily calm. "What about what I want? I want you to stay, and fight this. You have us, lean on us." She stood up too, her eyes glassy with tears, her teeth biting the inside of her cheek.
"I can't, Emma. Please, don't make me. I can't fight. I will fail, and I don't want that. I don't want this Darkness. I never should have taken the Dagger." Killian could hear the desperation in his own voice.
Emma let out a long, shuddering breath. "What do you want to do?" she asked, after a long silence.
And so he told her, every detail of his plan laid out in front of Emma. He could practically see how every word out of his mouth broke her heart a little bit more. But she let him talk and listened attentively. She didn't say a word, not until he was done.
"You'll be in this Land without Magic, and you will not have any of your memories, is that right?" she asked softly, her eyes trained on the ground.
He waited a beat, hoping she would look up at him. But when it became evident that she wouldn't, he replied with a simple 'Aye.'
She took in a deep breath, and exhaled slowly, nodding to herself. She finally looked him in the eye, her gaze sharp and determined, every bit the stubborn, strong woman he had fallen in love with. "I will get the answer to this dilemma, and I will come for you. I will find you." Her words were confident and firm. Before he could thank her, however, she cut him off. "Do not think for one moment that this doesn't break my heart."
He swallowed thickly, knowing that there was only one thing left to you. "I need to leave now. Before Alice wakes up."
Emma's brows pulled together, and he could sense her anger. "You're not even going to tell your daughter goodbye?" she demanded.
"I can't do it, Emma. She will be devastated, she will make me stay. I can't allow that to happen."
She stared at him quietly, her rage radiating off of her in waves, her eyes wide and nostrils flaring. "You are a coward, Killian Jones," she declared.
He hung his head in shame, moving toward his sleeping daughter, kneeling beside her. His throat was thick with tears, his heart hurt simply thinking about leaving her. He had never been so far from her - now, not only would he be in another realm, he would have no memory of her. It was for the best, though. It had be.
He squeezed his eyes shut, brushing Alice's hair away from her forehead, pressing the lightest of kisses there, lingering for a moment before he pulled away. He took her in for a moment, knowing that he would miss watching her grow up. Just a few years, he told himself. You will see her in a few years.
"You don't have to leave, Killian." Emma's soft voice floated through the air. "You could stay."
Killian got up, taking one last look at his daughter before he turned to Emma. "Have you come up with a way to replace my memories in the Land without Magic?" he asked her, ignoring her statements.
She sighed, clearly still angry with him, but nodded. "I can modify your existing memories, I can store the real ones in a Dreamcatcher."
"Let us do this, then."
-/-
Present: Camelot
"This is yours?" Killian asked, tracing the hilt of Excalibur, Merlin's name etched on the blade. It looked just like the Dark One's dagger, only much longer and with an end missing. But Merlin explained that as well - how he had forged Excalibur, how the sword was broken by the first Dark One, how the Dark One had murdered his love, Nimue. How he tethered the Darkness to the Dagger.
The Darkness hissed at that, screaming at Killian to destroy the wizard and ravage Camelot, to let it free. He was thankful for the cuff preventing him from doing any magic, because he was certain he would have given in. He could hear the whispers from the Dagger, driving him insane.
"Yes," Merlin answered. "Now you know everything you need to. We need to hurry, rid the world of this Darkness. Once and for all."
"What about Gothel?" Alice asked. "What if she decides to stop us?"
"She will need to go through me, then," Killian piped up, his jaw clenched tight. "Where do we need to go to find this Promethean flame?" he asked, addressing Merlin.
"It's not too far, but I need to warn you. This is your battle, Killian. The Darkness will try everything to convince you not to do this. You will either win, or it will take over you, forever. There can be no cuff stopping you from using your magic," Merlin warned. "This is ancient magic, more powerful than you could ever imagine. You did not have to face its true extent for decades, if what you say is true."
"Aye, I understand." Killian had made up his mind - after everything his daughter and Emma had sacrificed for him, he needed to step up. He had to face everything he had run away from, and he needed to start with the Darkness.
"Papa, perhaps we should talk about this?" Alice suggested, looking vexed at the task ahead of them. "Couldn't I do this?" she asked Merlin.
"No, Starfish. It is my turn to take care of you now. I need to face my demons. And I will," Killian vowed. He turned to Merlin. "Tell me everything I need to do, and I will do it."
-/-
Present Day: Enchanted Forest
Emma panted heavily, her wrists sore from the constant friction against the shackles, feeling weak and useless as Gothel used her vile magic to delve into her mind. It was the worst torment, feeling a strange presence in her mind, moving through her thoughts and memories, invading her. It was a great violation, one that left her sick to her stomach. No matter how much she tried to resist, Gothel's magic was stronger than Emma's.
If there was any light magic left in her, it was hindered by the shackles she wore or was buried deep under layers of dark magic. Emma wanted to cry; her light magic had been the only constant in her life, and for it to be violated and corrupted, hurt in innumerable ways. She had never thought there could exist a person so cruel, a person who understood how precious natural magic was and could still inflict such horrors on another, like Gothel was.
She had tried so hard, for so long, to fight. But she had lost all ability to - and if she was being honest with herself, all will to. Emma was tired of being strong. She had finally been broken, and she did not have the fight left in her. She knew that was what Gothel wanted, and she had tried so hard not to give the witch that satisfaction - but she couldn't hold on anymore.
Emma closed her eyes, tears running down the corners of her eyes, and she gave complete control of herself to Gothel. The Darkness had won.
-/-
20 years ago: Enchanted Forest
Emma gave the Dreamcatcher to Killian, not able to bring herself to take his memories. He understood, knowing that what he had already asked of her was a great enough price. She could not believe what Killian was about to do. She was certain that it was the Darkness in him that had made him so paranoid and so selfish. She would have fought him on his decision, if she had been talking to Killian alone. But the Darkness was unpredictable, and she could understand Killian's fear. She might not support his decision, but she could at least understand where he came from.
She stood to the side, as she watched him perform the spell to transfer his memories on to the Dreamcatcher once he had crossover to the other realm. She still had him here with her, for a few moments at least. She fiddled with her mother's ring for a moment before she took it off all together. Emma approached Killian, both of them smiling shakily at each other.
"My pirate," she whispered fondly, looking up at him, her eyes roaming over every inch of his face, etching him into her memory. "It's almost time, isn't it?"
"Aye. Emma. I am sorry, love." He brushed his knuckles down her cheek softly, looking at her with a kind of broken tenderness that made her gut clench.
She pressed her mother's ring in his palm, shocking him. He stared at her, his lips moving wordlessly. "I just thought - Well, you gave me a ring. It felt right, to give you my mother's. It's a promise, I guess. And- We never got to the wedding, technically, and I expect that once you come back. But until then…." She trailed off, closing his fingers around the ring.
"Until then," he vowed, softly, but with great conviction.
She nodded, swallowing hard at the lump in her throat. It was useless, though, as tears welled heavy in her eyes. She clutched the lapel of his greatcoat tightly, pulling him down to her. She pressed their lips together, kissing him with everything she had, wet and desperate, their breaths mingling every time they pulled back for air. She was loathe to end it, biting down on his lip. Killian was the one to pull away, his hand on her shoulder, both of them breathing heavily.
He pulled the Dagger from inside his jacket, handing it to Emma with a trembling hand. "Hold on to this for me, aye?"
Emma took the Dagger with both hands, her thumb tracing his name etched in the metal. "There's still time to change your mind."
"Swan."
"I know...I - I don't know how long it will be until I see you again. What if I never find a way to save you? You're immortal, I am not."
Killian nodded, his eyes serious and unwavering. "I know, love. And I think I know a way to prevent that."
"What?" she asked, curious. He hesitated, looking at her with a strange, apologetic look in his eyes. "What is it?" she demanded, pulling away from him completely.
"I'm sorry, Emma. I couldn't think of another way," he said, sounding helpless.
"What do you-"
But before she could finish the sentence, he released a burst of magic her way. Emma gasped, feeling the Darkness hit her, the force of it sending her flying. She felt her magic flare up to fight against the invading power, the heavy, foul magic pushing its way through. Emma could feel it flow through her veins, her entire body unbearably hot. She could hardly move, laying slumped against a tree.
Emma gaped at Killian, the betrayal causing bile to rise in her throat, tears of anger threatening to fall. He looked remorsefully at her, his heartbreak apparent on his features.
"I am so sorry, Swan," he called out. He threw the bean to the ground, the portal opening up immediately. "I love you. This was the only way I could make sure we see other again."
Emma choked on a sob, feeling breathless and crippled, watching as Killian walked through the portal, leaving her with a gaping hole in her chest, and whatever spell he hit her with, destroying both her heart and soul, in one fell swoop.