I can barely speak - and it has only 50% to do with the fact that I have a throat infection. The second-to-last chapter, wow. Thank you for all the love. I never thought this fic would have any impact, so any at all - no matter, little or lot - means so much to me. I made the right decision to join captainswanbigbang this year lol
Thank you, sambethe for bringing to life some of the most iconic scenes from Chapter 2 and Chapter 5, and for making this banner. Thank you, downeystarkjr for telling a story with your video 1 and 2. You guys turned my words into something more tangible and it makes me cry! Please check their work on tumblr!
Thank you accio-ambition for sticking through this hell of angst.
Present Day: Camelot
Killian and Merlin were trekking ahead while Alice trailed behind them, lost in thought. She had been pondering about her magic a lot the past week. For all these years, she had relied on Emma and her magic to get her out of any problem they were in. Emma had been the one to handle the mess; she had been the one to take the lead and make sure Alice focused solely on staying alive. Alice had come to depend on her Mama, but right now, she was certain she would have to step up. She had been repressing her magic for years, and with good reason. But with Emma gone, she had to make sure her father had someone to assist him. As much as she believed Merlin would help them get rid of the Darkness, she wasn't so sure that he was as invested in keeping them safe as Emma would have been. Alice had to step up, somehow.
That was why the past week she had been trying to access her magic. Emma had once told her that magic was a part of Alice, and that she had to channel it right. She'd told Alice that magic was emotion.
Alice had tried to remember everything that her mother had taught her, but it proved to be far more difficult than she had anticipated. She only hoped that Merlin's magic would be enough - that he would be of some actual assistance when it came down to it. She was brought out of her musings by Merlin's pointing out their destination.
"Just up ahead, that is where we need to go." The wizard pointed, but all Alice could see were crumbling structures, with what looked like a pedestal with a giant plate on it. No flame.
"This is what we came for? A big, empty plate?" She raised her brow at Merlin, her hands resting on her hips. "I thought you said we would find the Promethean flame here?"
Merlin nodded with an uneasy expression. "I did say that. And you will find it here." He turned to Killian. "It's time for you to do your part, Captain."
"Which is what, exactly?" Killian demanded, regarding the wizard warily. "You have been quite vague, mate. You said we need to come to this...what is this place? You said that the Promethean flame would be here."
"And it is," Merlin insisted. "I'll need the Dagger, Alice. And I'll need for you take that cuff off, Captain."
-/-
Killian was taken aback by Merlin's instructions. He had been able to keep the Darkness at bay because of the cuff. He had tried to take it off multiple times, when the voices became too much. But he had not be able to so much as move it, let alone remove it entirely. No matter how much he had tried to access his magic at his weakest moments, he had been unable to. The cuff protected him as much as it did the people around him. To say he was apprehensive about taking it off would be putting it lightly.
He watched Alice pull the Dagger from her satchel, the Darkness rearing its head at that. His eyes never strayed from the Dagger, the whispers growing louder. Take the Dagger. You will have complete control over your magic. No one can stop you from getting everything you want. He had started reaching for without even realising it; but he was thwarted by Merlin coming to stand between him and Alice.
Killian's head snapped up, baring his teeth at the wizard, despite himself. "Papa!" Alice exclaimed, sounding alarmed. It was the panic in her voice that brought him out of his haze. He reeled back from Merlin, appalled by his own behaviour.
"I- I'm sorry," he stuttered out, forcing his gaze away from the Dagger to focus instead on Merlin. "I don't know what got over me."
"I do. It's the Darkness. It's fighting against the cuff," Merlin explained. He took the Dagger from Alice, holding it out to Killian. "Once the cuff is off your wrist, the Darkness will have every chance to take over. Brace yourself."
Killian sucked in a sharp breath, his body rigid and alert. "Aye. I'm ready." He swallowed thickly when Merlin used the Dagger to break the cuff's bind over Killian's magic. The cuff came off quite easily, leaving Killian to face the onslaught of the dark magic rushing through his veins.
Killian exhaled sharply, planting his feet firmly on the ground, his arms stiff at his side. "Let's get this over with, then."
Merlin nodded, handing Killian the Dagger. Killian took it with a trembling hand, gasping the moment he held it.
"Focus, Captain. You need to channel the power of the Dagger, reach through it to the first Dark One, the origin of all dark magic."
Killian nodded shakily, the Darkness whispering threats in his ear. "It's- the Dagger is humming- and it, it feels like snakes crawling over my arm. This doesn't feel safe."
"Of course it is not safe. Your power is completely unchecked, and I've practically handed you the power to kill me."
"Not helping me, mate," Killian gritted out through clenched teeth. "I can hear the Darkness. It's whispering...I- I don't know if I can do this."
"Papa, look at me." Alice's voice drew Killian from his internal struggle, his eyes focusing on his daughter. "You can do this. You're more than the Darkness. I believe in you."
He nodded at her words, her faith in him making him stronger. "Take the right path, it's just in my head," he kept murmuring to himself.
"Now, call on the spirit of the previous Dark Ones," Merlin instructed.
Killian swallowed thickly, his muscles straining at the effort it took him not to succumb to the Darkness. He watched as his name on the Dagger started changing rapidly, almost as if it was scrolling through the past Dark Ones. For a moment, he was afraid he had really lost his head, but the scrolling stopped on one name - Nimue.
A figure in dark robes and a golden mask materialised in front of Killian, startling him.
"You did it," Merlin said in a gasp, gaze trained on the robe clad figure.
Realisation dawned on Killian, wide eyes turning to look at Merlin. "Nimue," Killian breathed out.
"That is me, yes." The first Dark One took off the gold mask, revealing the face of the woman underneath. "It is good to see you embrace the Darkness, Killian. You have been running away from it for far too long."
"You never told me the first Dark One was the woman you loved." Killian eyed Merlin warily.
"This is not the woman I loved. The Dark One killed her the day she took on the Darkness."
"It's always good to see you, Merlin," Nimue said, turning to her old lover. "And how great is it going to be to say good-bye." She held out her hand, her fingers forming a choking gesture in midair. Killian mirrored her, watching wide-eyed as Merlin started struggling to breathe.
Alice rushed to the wizard's side, confused and afraid as she looked to Killian for help. "Papa, stop it!" she exclaimed. "This is not you!"
"I-I'm not doing that, love."
"Oh, but you are, Killian," Nimue whispered in his ear. "Because we are one and the same, all the Dark Ones. We need to destroy the threat to the Darkness; we need to destroy Merlin."
"Why are you doing this? You loved him," Killian gritted out, trying to fight the Darkness.
"And you loved Emma. You know no matter how much you love someone, if they are trying to take something from you, you need to stop them. You need to say 'No, this is mine,'" Nimue growled, using Killian to channel the dark magic through, directing it all toward the wizard. The blast of magic made Merlin go flying, hitting the ground with an audible thud.
The Dark Ones rushed, Killian hovering over Merlin, the point of the Dagger dangling over the wizard's heart.
"Kill him," Nimue pushed.
"Killian, this is not you," Merlin wheezed out.
"Stop it, stop it," Killian muttered, eyes squeezed shut.
"He's going to reforge Excalibur and destroy us. Finish the fucking job, Killian."
"Do no listen to her, Killian. You're a good man, you need to fight this. Find the light within you," Merlin urged.
Killian was panting with the effort it took to him resist the temptation to sink the Dagger in Merlin's chest. He was shaking, lifting his head up to catch Alice's eye. She was staring at him, terrified.
"Papa, don't do this. This isn't you," she whispered, her tone slow and soft. None of the fear translated into her voice as she moved closer. "I believe in you, Papa. I love you. Whatever the voices in your head are saying, ignore it. You've fought so long, lost so much." Alice was crying now, tears slipping down her cheeks.
"I need to protect you and Emma. I need the Darkness," Killian whispered, Nimue's voice whispering how weak he was. "I'm not strong enough."
"Of course you are! The Darkness is what is weak. You raised me by yourself for five years! You allowed your heart to open up again to Emma. You were always strong, Papa. We never needed your magic. All Mama and I need is you."
Killian's heart soared, light filtering in through the thick fog of the Darkness, clearing his mind.
"Kill Merlin. Do not go back to being weak!" Nimue screamed.
"I am not weak!" Killian growled. "I might have succumbed to it in the past but I don't need the Darkness anymore; I have love in my life. I have my family." He put out his hand, turning his magic against Nimue. "Now, I'm taking that ember, and I am going to destroy the Darkness once and for all," he said, pulling the spark from her, making her gasp. She glared at him and disappeared as suddenly as she had appeared.
Killian turned back to Merlin, helping the wizard up. "Let's reforge the sword, and get this over with, mate."
Merlin nodded, smiling almost proudly at Killian. "You did it. How did it feel to take the path of light?" he asked Killian.
Killian turned to Alice, smiling at his daughter. "To be honest with you, Merlin, it felt like I finally did the right thing for my family," he said on a shaky breath.
Alice grinned back at him, hugging his side. Killian wrapped his arms around her, chuckling slightly, resting his cheek on top of her head. "I knew you could do it, Papa."
"Let's get this over with then," Killian declared, releasing Alice and turning to Merlin. He held the last bit that was left of the Promethean flame in his hand. "What next?"
"We light the spark, of course. Are you ready to be rid of the Darkness?" Merlin asked.
Killian wanted to say yes, there was no question to it. But he couldn't help but wonder how much magic had helped him too. He had been able to break the bonds that kept his daughter trapped, he was able to keep his family safe. What if he needed it again, but would no longer be able to find it?
"What is it, Papa?" Alice looked at him curiously, as if she could see the gears spinning in his head.
Killian felt unsettled, like he was not sure anymore. "Isn't it possible to use the magic for good?" he asked Merlin. "I could make a choice, like I just did."
Merlin smiled tightly at him. "Perhaps, there might be someone strong and noble enough to not be corrupted by the Darkness, Killian. But it is not fair to make someone carry this burden. The Darkness has already taken root in your heart; holding on to it would not be wise. It's a slippery slope. It's time to let it go. There is a lot more to look forward to in life, more love and happiness than anything the Darkness can give you."
Killian nodded, knowing that Merlin was right. He might have been strong now, but he had also done a lot of things he regretted because of the Darkness. Looking at the rock in his hand, he asked, "What do I do now?"
"We light it together. Think about what is waiting for you. Break the bonds of your past, break free of the hold the Darkness has on you." Merlin advised. "You can do this."
Killian closed his eyes, feeling Alice's steady gaze on him. He thought about the happiness he had felt, watching her grow up. He thought about his days with Emma, getting to know her, falling in love with her. He ruined it all, then. But if he had learned anything in the past week with his daughter, even the greatest sins could be forgiven if someone loved you. And he had two someones, he had his girls. No matter how uncertain things were between Emma and him, he knew she loved him. If he wanted a future with them, to finally be the family that he so desperately craved, the Darkness needed to go.
He thought of his family: he thought of his brother and how much he had taught Killian about honour and good form. He thought of Milah, and how she had taught him to love, to embrace life after he had given up on it after Liam. He thought of Alice, and how she helped him realise how rewarding being a father could be, how she had brought hope back in his life, restarted his cold, dead heart.
He thought of Emma. He thought about how she had come into his life like a whirlwind, and how she challenged him. How she infuriated him and made him crazy. How she was the blinding light to the darkness that had plagued him, much before he had become the Dark One. She set him free, made me feel more love than he ever thought possible. Alice and Emma filled the gaping holes in his heart. They were all he needed, not magic.
A future with them was so close within his grasp; he could feel it in his bones.
He felt his chest fill with the love he felt for them, the warmth consuming him, breathing life into him. The changes in him, he felt viscerally. And when he opened his eyes, the rock was alight with a small but strong flame.
"Yes, you did it, Papa!" Alice cheered, jumping gleefully. Killian grinned widely, feeling the warmth from the flame on his palm. He could feel the light magic in the flame, something in him wanting to reach for it. It sent the Darkness in him reeling, and he couldn't help but feel smug about it. He finally had a win, and after all of this was over, he could go and save his Swan.
He barked out a laugh in triumph.
"Are you ready to finish what you started?" Merlin asked, taking joy in Killian's obvious happiness.
"Yes." Killian was breathing deeply, but steadily. He handed Merlin the Dagger, following the wizard's instructions and drawing out the Promethean flame and feeling the light magic that was drawn from it in the air. It almost felt pliant, the magic from the flame - he manipulated it toward the Dagger and the broken sword.
Killian, Alice, and Merlin watched in wonder as the weapons rose in air, the flame enveloping them. The bright light radiated on the trio, making Killian squint his eyes. He felt hope bloom in his chest, and for the first time in a long time, he had a feeling that everything would actually soon be alright.
The feeling did not lasted long. Just as he finished the final step to reunite the blades, he was interrupted by the grating voice of the last person he wanted to see - Gothel.
"Well, isn't this convenient," she called out from behind the trio. Killian was effectively distracted from the spell, and the newly mended Excalibur fell to the ground, Killian Jones and Merlin etched on the blade.
Killian and Alice turned to face their foe, both gasping in unison when they saw Emma trailing behind Gothel. She looked nothing like her usual self; she looked lifeless and had a haunted look about her. Her clothes were dirty, and ripped at the sleeve, her hair falling limp and having none of its usual bounce. But none of that was as alarming as the look in her eyes - they were downcast and when she did look up at them, he could not see Emma in there. They looked empty, dazed - as if Emma was nothing more than a puppet.
"Gods, Swan," Killian said in a gasp, moving toward her without a second thought. He was stopped short by an invisible barrier, Gothel smirking at him from behind it. "What have you done to her?" he demanded with a voice of authority. He could feel the dark magic at his fingertips, waiting to be unleashed, and it took everything in him to not give in to the urge.
"Oh, nothing, really." Gothel's smirk grew wider, tugging on the chains that bound his love, making Emma stumble forward. Gothel walked up to her, one long finger lifting Emma's chin. "I just broke her." Gothel had the audacity to giggle, trailing her finger down Emma's jaw, making her flinch.
Killian pounded against the barrier, ignoring the burning on his skin. "Let her go, witch. You're too late!"
Gothel whirled around, stalking up to him, standing just shy of touching the barrier, holding his gaze steadily. "On the contrary, Captain. I learnt a lot of interesting things from your lover. Or is it, ex-lover?" She held up her hand, and Excalibur flew into her gasp, startling Killian, Alice, and Merlin.
"No!" Merlin exclaimed, rushing forward, but was once again thwarted by the barrier that Gothel had put up.
"Mama, stop her!" Alice called out, but Emma did not seem to hear her. Whatever Gothel had done to her, it had left her catatonic.
"Gothel, stop this. You don't have to do this." Killian's tone was soft, coaxing. He wanted to shout, get angry and perhaps even murder the witch who had been tormenting his family for years. But she was far too volatile, and it was all of their lives at stake. He couldn't risk it.
"Of course I do," she snapped, her expression sullying. "You humans and your pathetic lives. You never appreciate what nature has gifted you with. You just destroy it and burn it to the ground. My family and I worked hard to preserve the magic, and what did we get in return?" She had an aura of rage about her, her expression dark and furious. "My kind was murdered in cold blood, simply because we were different. If I am to eliminate all of humanity, I need this. And I almost would have had everything I needed, if it weren't for you." She looked at Killian with great disdain. "You had the power of the Dark One, and you ran away from it."
"Aye, because it corrupts. You cannot possibly think I wouldn't stop you from doing this." Killian did not take his eyes off Gothel for even a moment. She was unhinged and unpredictable; he had no idea what she meant to do with Excalibur.
Alice stepped forward, despite Killian's protests. "Please, stop this. You're supposed to be my mother," the young woman said, her voice breaking. "You talk about family, but I am your family, and you abandoned me without a second thought. You tricked my father, and you broke his trust in unspeakable ways. Can you honestly say you are better off than humans?"
Gothel looked taken aback by Alice's words for a moment, but she quickly composed herself. "I would say I was sorry, but I'm really not."
Killian had had enough. He surged at the barrier, releasing his cautious hold on his magic. He watched as the barrier became visible, reacting to his magic, making Gothel's eyes widen, but did not seem go down at all. Before he could unleash more of his power, Gothel held out the sword in front of her, "Stay right there."
He felt his body freeze, held in spot by the magic that bound him to Excalibur, watching with helpless fury as Gothel walked toward him and Merlin, who was immobilized as well, the sword held in front of her. "Well, it's been fun, boys. But now it is time for me to take what is mine." She approached Merlin first, and Killian watched with wide-eyed horror as she unceremoniously ran Excalibur through his chest, the wizard in no position to stop her.
"NO!" Killian and Alice shouted in unison. Merlin stared at the sword sticking out of his gut in shock, his magic visibly draining out of him in wisps of light and into Excalibur. Alice pressed her hands to her mouth, stifling her horrified gasp, pressing closer to her father, her hand clutching his arm.
Killian looked to Emma, terrified and desperate, still frozen in place. "Emma, love, do something! You can stop her."
Emma looked up, staring right through him with cold, dead eyes. It broke his heart to see her like this.
Gothel turned to him, her free hand twisting in a grasping motion, making roots break through the ground and wrapping around Alice's torso, pulling her away from Killian, despite her loud protests. Gothel walked toward him with a simpering expression. He bared his teeth at her, her jaw clenched tight. "I swear to the Gods, if you hurt my daughter-"
"You'll what? Kill me? Please - I'd like to see you try." She glanced behind her at Merlin's crumpled form. "Don't worry. I'll spare your life," she assured Killian, smiling tightly. "I just need your magic, that's all."
"No! Stop it!" Alice exclaimed, pounding her fists against the root that was wrapped around her, but to no avail. "Mama! Please! Help us!"
Killian struggled in place, trying desperately to break free on the Dagger's command. He turned to Emma, just as she seemed to come back to reality and realise what was going on around her. She was shaking in place, looking brokenly at him and Alice, like she had given up trying. He couldn't - wouldn't - let that happen. "Swan! You can overpower whatever control she had on you. You are the strongest person I know."
Emma looked at him then, walking toward him on weak legs, stumbling slightly before she found her bearing. She, too, was stopped short by the barrier that Gothel had put up. Up close, she looked even worse. Her eyes were sunken, lips chapped with dried blood; she looked battle worn, defeated. It scared him, seeing her like this. "Killian," she whispered, her voice scratchy and rough. "I can't stop her. I can't, I'm sorry." She was crying, making his heart clench at her pain. "She's stronger than I am."
"You should listen to her, darling." Gothel was right in front of him, Excalibur clutched tight in her hands. "Now, this will hurt a tad." She held the sword in front of him, and he felt the Darkness in him reacting to it, almost as if it was heeding a silent call, reaching out to the weapon.
For a moment, Killian thought he would be able to hold back, keep the Darkness reined in if only to ensure Gothel did not get her hands on it. But it was futile, as the Darkness started to pour out of him, as slowly and painfully as it possibly could. He couldn't help but yell in pain: it felt like his skin was was being pricked by a thousand needles from the inside out. The dark magic was tearing out of him; it was excruciating. He turned to Emma once again, swallowing down his pain. "Love, you-you are s-stronger than you realise. You-" he cut himself off, letting out a grunt at the toll it was taking on his body. "-are the pro-product of True Love. I believe in you."
Emma nodded, sucking in her bottom lip. "I love you."
"As I love you, my Pr-Princess."
-/-
Emma closed her eyes, trying to concentrate. There was so much of the Darkness blocking her from accessing her light magic, but she knew it had to still be there. Gothel might have broken her down in the past week, but a part of her had allowed it to happen, if only to delay the witch from stopping Killian. She had almost succeeded, too.
Right now, Killian and Alice needed her, and she was was running out of time. Once Gothel was done extracting the Darkness, Emma would lose her magic. She had been prepared for that, and for what would come after - but she needed her magic if she wanted to stop Gothel. Fortunately for her, Merlin had shared with her the spell he had intended to perform to get rid of the Darkness once and for all. Excalibur was supposed to break immortal ties, but if Gothel gained control over the Darkness as well as Merlin's light magic, it would be impossible to stop her.
Then it dawned on her - Merlin's light magic and the Darkness cancelled each other out, and they would all be in Gothel. She would be the sole catalyst for all that power. If Emma was able to disable her for long enough, she could….That was it!
She had a plan in place; she just needed to find the strength within her to attack Gothel. Killian's cries of pain and Alice's desperate pleading echoed through her mind, pushing her to try harder. She had been weakened beyond what she could handle the past week, and she knew even if she could have survived losing her magic before, she had no hope of that now.
Emma had to do everything she could to take Gothel down with her. She thought about everyone and everything she had loved and lost - her parents, her kingdom, Charles. She remembered every painful moment of her life, channeling her grief to find the light within her. Every moment of hurt and anguish that she had felt cut deeply because it came from the same place love did; because the only reason she felt pain was because she felt love, too. They went hand in hand.
Emma shut everything off around her, travelling within herself to find the source of the love that powered her magic. It was hard, wading through the Darkness that had corrupted her system, like trying to swim through black sludge. Her surroundings faded, noises grew distant and she felt like she was floating. The further she went into the Darkness within her, the harder it became to remember where she was and why she was there. She held on tight to the good memories - happy memories of her childhood, of being in love, of her years with Alice - using them to ground her to reality.
It felt like hours, not mere seconds like it really was, before she broke through the surface of the Darkness. But when she did, she was embraced by the familiar warmth of her light magic, magic that was born out of love and happiness, that had been oppressed by the Darkness. She should have known, that at the heart of Darkness would be light.
She immersed herself in the light, slowly drawing it with her past the Darkness. She pulled it through, bit by bit, until the pitch black that seemed to have taken over her heart was replaced with bright light. Emma felt like she was reborn, her energy renewed; like she had been drowning for so long and had finally come up for air.
When she opened her eyes, only a moment had passed. Gothel still held Excalibur aloft and the Darkness was trickling out of Killian, surrounding the witch. Emma bided her time, now having a firm hold on the light magic. She just needed to wait until the Darkness was being pulled from her, too, before she would execute her plan.
Everything around Emma came back into full focus; she could hear Killian's screams again, Alice's cries - it was so hard for her to not react immediately. It nearly broke her, seeing her family in such pain. But it also strengthened her resolve to hold out just that much longer. She hardened her heart, watched as her love fell to his knees, weakened by the sudden withdrawal of power.
But that also meant that the Darkness was finally out of him. As if in answer to her question, Emma felt a tugging on the last bit of the Darkness in her. It was time.
Gothel turned to Emma with a smug grin, her icy blue eyes consumed by the Darkness. Emma let go of the tentative grasp she had on her light magic - all of it - feeling it leave her completely in one breath and hitting Gothel square in her chest, sending her soaring through the air. Gothel lost her grip on Excalibur, and it fell at Killian's feet, with the letters spelling out Mother Gothel along the blade burned into it, revealing the new host for the Darkness.
Killian was quick to react, his fingers wrapping tightly around the grip of the sword. He grinned at Emma, nodding at her. "I knew you could do it, Swan!" he called out.
Emma wasn't certain what happened next, her vision blurring for a moment, but when she could see clearly again, Killian has Excalibur buried in Gothel's gut. Emma felt the thick, suffocating aura from the Darkness ebb away, as Gothel fell to her death.
Emma grinned widely across the clearing at father and daughter. She took no more than two steps before her legs gave way beneath her, her chest feeling tight, making it difficult to draw a breath. She choked on a gasp, pressing a hand to her chest, feeling her heart race rapidly in her chest. She tried to call out to Alice, but felt herself fading, her vision going to black. She heard panicked voices, sounding muffled and distant, and felt a rough, calloused palm on her cheek.
Emma couldn't understand why everything was turning black, or why she couldn't breathe anymore. She started panicking for a moment or two. But that stopped as well.
And finally, so did her heart.