How I Wish

by Jensine70

Wishing she could have done some things differently with Spike, Buffy asks for and is given a second chance. In truth, it's a second chance for Spike. She leaps from 2004 (post-"Not Fade Away") to 2001 ("The Gift"). With no time to prepare and 2 hours on the clock, does she give him enough info to change things? [ 2017: edited Ch 13-18; new chapters from Ch 19 ] [ 2019: ON HIATUS ]

11. Back to Reality

DISCLAIMER: Whedon's characters, any recognizable dialogue, and the canon events of their storyline are not mine.

A/N:

Thanks so much for the new follows, favorites, and reviews/PMs. Words can't begin to express my gratitude.

My sincerest apologies for the extended wait for this chapter. I have had some health issues the past six months. And in the past year, three family members have died. After this week, I hope I don't have to sing at another funeral for a long, long time.

Anyway, I hope you consider this chapter worth the wait and that you will be patient with me if future chapters take longer than either you or I would like.

This chapter corresponds to episodes #6.5 "Life Serial" and #6.6 "All the Way." I have included some original dialogue to help indicate what remains the same. There is also some action that stays same, but occurs "off camera."

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CHAPTER 11

... Back to Reality

During their patrol (which was really more of a stroll), Buffy became more quiet the closer they got to her house. At first, the periods of silence did not bother Spike. However, in absence of conversation, certain senses seemed to become heightened – namely his sense of smell. Much as he tried, he could not ignore the scent of Angel that was all over Buffy. He did a decent job of not letting his displeasure turn into anger – for the time being, that is.

Stepping over the threshold of the front door, Buffy smelled food. Turning her head to the right, she saw evidence that a meal had been served on the dining room table. She heard voices coming from the kitchen and headed that direction.

The others had not heard the front door or the sound footsteps as Buffy walked into the kitchen. She announced their presence by saying, "I see you already ate."

Dawn responded for the group, "Uh, we didn't know when you'd be coming back. Are you hungry? There's some leftovers."

"Not now. Maybe a snack later." Buffy had done some nervous eating on her drive back to Sunnydale. Even the short patrol was not enough to work up an appetite yet.

Tara and Willow exchanged glances while putting leftovers into containers. Giles was washing dishes. Judging by the towel in her hands, Dawn's task was drying, though she was ignoring the dishes and was instead studying Buffy's face.

Seeing that nobody else was going to bring it up, Dawn said, "So…"

"What so?"

"So ... how was it? Seeing Angel. Him seeing you. Was it weird?"

Buffy was clearly uncomfortable with this line of questioning. Spike leaned against the wall, trying to look like he did not care. However, he was beginning to regret coming back to the house with her, now that he realized he would be subjected to this conversation.

The others were waiting expectantly for her response.

Buffy tried to avoid answering for multiple reasons – not the least of which was the fact that Spike was present. "Um. It was ... intense."

In an attempt to be the good supportive friend, Willow said, "Well, if you wanna talk about it ..."

Although the others may not have noticed Spike's demeanor, it was unignorable to Buffy. There was a considerable difference in his behavior from their conversation in his crypt.

Buffy replied to Willow while addressing everyone in the room. "I don't. It's ... not important. I'd just rather keep this one to myself, if that's okay." She more than likely would have given that answer even if Spike was not there, but she intentionally avoided prolonging the discussion because he was.

Dawn replied for the group, "Sure. Whatever." She tried to make it sound like she was okay with it, but she really wanted to know.

Nobody seemed completely satisfied by Buffy's response (or more accurately, non-response). It must have touched a nerve with Spike, because he stepped out the back door.

Giles filled the silence. "Buffy, I wanted to speak with you about …"

"Can you give me a minute?"

Buffy walked out onto the deck. Spike was sitting on the top step.

When she sat down next to him, Spike asked, "Gotta a light?" He held up an unlit cigarette. "This doesn't do me much good like this."

"It won't do you much good when it's lit either."

He nodded.

Buffy nudged him with her elbow. "So, what? Can't handle the conversational heat … had to get out of the kitchen?"

Spike took a deep breath and turned his head to look at her. "Truth?" After she nodded, he continued, "I know we talked about the Angel thing back at my crypt, but … well, listening to them asking you about him … it was a bit painful. I guess partly because I've been trying to wait until you're ready to talk about our kiss … you know … the night you died. And, well, much as I don't want to know, I do want to know ... if you …"

"If I what?"

"… if you kissed Angel when you saw him."

She felt she owed him the truth, so she looked him straight in the eye and said, "Yes."

"And …"

"And nothing. We covered this earlier."

"You really have no plans to see him in the future?"

"I'm sure that I will see him at some point, but if you mean are we planning regular date nights, the answer is no." They held each other's gaze for a few seconds. "And as for the other kiss … for now, this very moment, I've hit my quota for intense conversations." Buffy stood and smoothed her pants. "Giles wanted to talk to me about something. I'm gonna head back in. You coming?"

"Yeah, sure. But only because you didn't have a light," he said with a wink, putting away his cigarette.

Returning to the kitchen, the pair saw that Tara and Willow had finished putting away the leftovers.

Giles handed over the washing to them and moved toward Buffy. Rolling his shirt sleeves down and buttoning the cuffs, Giles said, "I was wondering, Buffy … um, if you had given any thought to what you're going to do … with your life now—"

"Now that I have one again?" Buffy paused before continuing. "I left school, you know, when Mom got sick, but I always figured I'd go back ... so, I guess I could reenroll."

"There is the added complication that you will not be receiving checks from the Council for the time being."

"Yes. Right. That." Buffy sighed. "Like it wasn't enough to come back from the dead, now I have to join the work-a-day world."

Before Giles replied, he saw faces pleading with him to go easy on Buffy. "Well, I suppose you don't have to jump in immediately. Perhaps, you could take a day to sit in on a few classes with Tara and Willow and at least meet with your advisor to find out about necessary paperwork and set an appointment for scheduling next semester. Then, maybe you can come to the Magic Box and see if retail is something you could do temporarily."

Buffy shuddered at the thought. "I think I'd rather do construction. Maybe Xander has an opening."

The group chatted a bit more. Then, one by one they said their goodnights. Leaving Spike and Buffy alone together in the kitchen.

"I think I'm finally getting hungry." Opening the fridge to look at her options, Buffy said, "Hmm," a few times before Spike could take it no longer.

He gently moved her to the side. He pulled out a few items and shut the door. On the counter, he laid leftover ham, Swiss cheese, butter, and spicy brown mustard. He grabbed the loaf of bread. After thinly slicing some ham, he buttered the bread. Then, he found a skillet and made Buffy the most amazing grilled sandwich she had ever had.

Taking her first bite, she sighed, "Mmm! Don't get me wrong … I still like a normal, ordinary grilled cheese sandwich, but the ham and the gooey Swiss and the spicy mustard … yum-my!" After he had watched her eat a few more bites, she said, "I don't think I knew you could cook. I mean, I've seen you eat … I know you like wings … and you've been on the planet plenty long enough to have learned. I just wouldn't have expected it."

"I'm full of surprises, luv."

"Really? Like what?"

He gave her a cryptic crooked smile and said, "Wouldn't you like to know." Seeing her blush slightly before tilting her head down to take another bite of her sandwich, Spike continued hesitantly, "Would you like to know?" When she did not respond, he added, "Forget I said that. Must remember not to speak with my foot in my mouth."

Buffy finished chewing the last bite and looked him squarely in the eye as she said, "Although I am not prepared to answer your question at the moment, I reserve the right to not forget what you said."

As he pushed back from the counter, he looked across the kitchen island. "Right then. I think I will take my leave – that's quite a wonderful note on which to end."

"Alright. Well, thanks for … well, so many things. Walking me home, making me a delicious sandwich, …"

Spike simply nodded as he turned the knob of the back door. Once he was on the deck, he just stood there for a moment leaning on the railing. He was thinking to himself: If I were not already dead, that woman would be the death of me.

[

Buffy knew that she needed to get some sleep if she was going to be up and ready to leave in the morning with Tara and Willow. However, she could not seem to go to sleep. She was thinking about the kiss that she and Spike had shared several months ago. Some aspects of the memory were hazy: why she had given him a kiss when he requested. Some aspects were incredibly clear: the feel of his lips on hers and the tingle she felt down to the tips of her toes. At some point, she drifted off to dreamland.

[

[

When Buffy accompanied Tara and Willow to UC Sunnydale, there was this strange thing that happened several times – time moving at warp speed around her. She and the others were unable to figure out what had caused it.

They were as yet unaware that Warren, Jonathan, and Andrew – a.k.a. The Trio – were testing Buffy and had only begun to hatch their evil hair-brained schemes.

[

[

The next day, Buffy gave construction work a try. But that did not go any better than her day on campus. Some sort of creatures – monsters or demons – attacked her. The creatures looked like they could have stepped out of the cantina in Star Wars, but there was no band playing cool music and Han Solo was nowhere to be found. However, she would have sworn she heard the theme music coming from a van nearby.

[

[

On the third day, she decided she would have to at least try the retail thing or else be subject to long periods of glaring from Giles. It should have been simple enough to take care of the needs of customers in The Magic Box. She had spent plenty of time at the store … how hard could it possibly be? Apparently not only is the customer always right, but until the customer is sufficiently satisfied, you do not pass go and do not collect $200. She could have really used a "get out of time loop free" card.

That night after dinner and some uneventful patrolling, Buffy made her way over to Spike's.

Letting herself in, she said as she crossed the threshold, "Got anything to drink around here that's not blood?"

Spike immediately handed her his flask.

After taking a swig, she shuddered and made a face. Thoughtfully examining the flask she now held, she stated, "Life is stupid."

"I have a dim memory of that, yeah. And I didn't figure you were here cadging my whiskey 'cause life's all full of blood and peaches."

"Whatever that means." She took another swig and gave him an odd look. "You do know that you talk weird, right? You know, British, but different than Giles. Sometimes, I can't figure what you're saying."

"Me? You have a language all your own."

She sat down in the upholstered chair and put the flask to her mouth again. Then, she handed it to Spike who perched himself on the arm of the chair. Spike took his turn with the whiskey and turned to Buffy to see if she was ready for another, but she was staring off in the distance. He gazed at her, admiring her beauty at closer range than he had normally been permitted.

She glanced up at him. She took the flask back and had another swallow. "Spike? What are you staring at? Have you been looking down my blouse?"

He seemed embarrassed to have been caught staring, "No, of course not." But as soon as she had made the suggestion, he naturally looked there. Nervously, Spike took back the flask.

Buffy suggested, "How's about you sit down here and I'll take the arm?"

After they had switched places, Spike said, "I think you just wanted a bird's eye view of m—"

"Of what? Your ..." Her gaze fell to his face. Her focus switching between his eyes and his full lips. "Your ... um ..."

"My what?" He laughed at her.

"Your big fat ego – that's what." She giggled giddily, the alcohol beginning to hit her bloodstream.

"My ego? I'm not 'the one girl in all the world, a chosen one …' yada yada."

"When you're the One, it's not ego. It's fact."

"Is that a fact?"

"I think I just said that it was."

With each response – volleying back and forth – there was increased bravado and sarcasm. They both broke up laughing. She had been leaning over, getting in his face. As she laughed harder and harder, she fell into his lap, startling them both. She half expected him to kiss her, but he did not.

He got up from the chair and paced, intending to continue the original conversation. She moved back to chair cushion to get comfy-ish.

Spike inquired, "Finish telling me what's been happening the past few days."

"So, yeah … there's this thing. Someone's doing stuff to me. Messing up my life. Except that it was kind of pre-messed already – you know, with school and jobs ... pretty bad even without the evil."

"So, you … uh, just what? Gonna let this whoever play you 'til it figures out what kills you?"

Buffy shrugged and said, "Giles is working on it."

"Oh, good – 'cause Giles wields the mighty force of library books."

"Yeah, he kinda does." Her thoughts meandering and her mouth babbling as she found that the alcohol was relaxing her. "I guess that's part of why there are Watchers for Slayers. You know … their brains and our brawn … pretty powerful combo against the forces of evil."

Deciding it was best to appease her at this point, Spike simply said, "You may be right."

After a few more drinks and too many gaps in conversation, she fell asleep in chair. Spike watched her for a long while – a couple of hours. Then, he shook her shoulder until she opened her eyes.

"Rise and shine, pet." He watched her stretch and rub her eyes. "I hate to wake you when you're sleeping so peacefully, but I thought you'd want to get home while it's still dark and you can use the patrolling excuse."

"Huh?"

"Sounds a lot better than 'I slept at Spike's last night.' Dunnit?"

She rolled her eyes and smiled. "You may just be onto something there."

He walked her back to the house. After all, she had been drinking and her reflexes would be slower if attacked. At least, that was how he explained it to her – and to himself.

At the front porch, Buffy took one step up, putting her nearly at eye level with Spike.

"Thanks for tonight – the whiskey, the conversation. For letting me ramble. For making me laugh. I didn't realize how much I needed that."

"Anytime, luv. Mean it. Know that, don't you?"

"Yeah. I do." She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. As she turned toward the door, she said, "Goodnight."

The entire walk back to his crypt, he muttered to himself over and over: "Love is patient. Love is patient. Love is …" Excruciating is what it really was. He was man enough to admit he was love's bitch, but was he man enough to complete the task before him? He reminded himself that future-Buffy believed that he was.

[

[

The next morning, Buffy awoke to sound of her housemates preparing for their days. She had slept through her alarm. In her PJs, she made her way downstairs to the kitchen. Dawn seemed to be on brain overload, trying to decide between getting her breakfast and making her lunch.

Buffy answered the ringing phone and had a short conversation with Giles. After hanging up, she took a bowl from the cabinet and handed it to Dawn, saying, "Get yourself some cereal. I'll make your sandwich."

After Dawn began eating, she mumbled her thanks which sounded more like "nang-yu."

"You're welcome. Just hurry up."

As Willow was putting her breakfast dishes in the sink, she asked, "Buffy, what are you up to today?"

"I need to take care of a couple things around the house. Then, I was going to stop by the Magic Box. That was Giles on the phone. He asked me to drop in. Wants to have a chat. Sounds mildly serious."

Willow smirked. "When is he not at least mildly serious? British much?"

"True. Anyway, after that not sure."

"Mostly, I was checking on your morning. Tara and I will be at the Magic Box for a while before class. We'll probably see you there."

Tara smiled sweetly and waved goodbye as she and Willow led Dawn out the door.

Buffy was left with a sink full of dishes, a full garbage can, and a pile of laundry down in the basement. "Heigh-ho, heigh-ho. Off to do housework I go …" She whistled her way down the stairs to put the first load into the washer. Then, she whistled her way back up the stairs to do the dishes. By then, the Disney earworm was driving her crazy and she turned on the radio.

A few songs later, a pile of clean dishes were drying in the dish rack. Buffy grabbed her jacket, purse, and keys. She checked the door locks and headed out to door.

When Buffy walked into the Magic Box, Giles immediately put down what he was working on. "Good. You're here." He stood and walking toward her, he gestured toward the workout room at the back of the store.

Once he had closed the door, they both went over to the couch and sat down.

Buffy rested her elbows on her knees and covered her face with her hands. "Before you say anything … I know. I already know. I'm really screwing up, Giles."

"You were being tested … sequentially, by some unknown demon. I don't call that screwing up."

"No. It completely is. I let the demon set the rules."

"Go easy on yourself, will you? I mean, you don't have to figure the whole thing out at once – you know, job and everything. You're pushing yourself too hard."

"The nice people at the phone company seem to thinks it's not hard enough."

Giles pulled a folded piece of paper from his pocket. "Well, maybe there's something I can do about that. This is … um … it's for you."

Buffy unfolded it and looked at the amount of the check, her eyes widening. "This is too much. I can't take it." As Giles reached to snatch it from her, she clutched it tightly. "No! I was just being polite. I'm taking the money." Smiling and alternating her gaze between the check and Giles' face, she continued, "This is great. This is more than great. It's a little like having Mom back." Seeing him make a face at the comparison, she added, "I'm just saying … thank you … so much."

"Well, we should join the others. They have something to tell you."

When Buffy and Giles went back into the main part of the store, Tara and Willow were sitting at the round table and Anya walked from behind the counter to join them.

Willow took a deep breath, glanced at Giles, and then began, "Buffy, when you were gone – well, dead – we did not … I mean, I did not give much thought to what would happen in the future … you know, with the house and Dawn and all that, because I was trying to find a way to bring you back … and I was sure that I could ... bring you back. So, I just didn't plan for any other scenario. And I don't think any of us thought about how bad things were – you know, financially – after your mom … and all the hospital bills. We were so busy after that with Glory and everything." She looked down at her hands, with which she was nervously playing. "I'm sorry. I'm rambling. What I mean is that all of us should have thought about the state of the finances – but with Tara and I living there with Dawn, we two really should have been the ones to take notice. Giles tried to help … but we should have been more careful." She reached over and took Tara's hand. "I called my mother and told her what's going on – well, you know, other than the part about you having been dead. She has agreed to send a check for the amount she would pay for room and board for me if I were living on campus … for as long as I am at the house with you and Dawn. All of Tara's school stuff is paid by scholarship and financial aid … and her family has pretty much cut off all contact with her."

Tara interrupted, wanting to speak for herself. "But I want to contribute. Giles and Anya have agreed to let me pick up some hours here at the store when I have time between classes. You and Dawn are part of my family now – and we should help one another solve household problems. You know, assuming you still want us living there now that you're back." She dropped her head, becoming her normal shy self after having spoken so boldly.

Buffy was astonished. First, Giles. Now, this.

Willow asked, "Buffy, you okay?"

"Yeah. Wow. Processing." Buffy had a blank look on her face as she just nodded over and over. Finally, she reengaged in the conversation. "You're right – after Mom died, I was completely preoccupied and didn't pay attention to money matters. When I first got back, it wasn't at the top of the list of concerns. And honestly, I haven't thought much one way or the other about you two staying in the house. But it makes sense. Having you stay – having a larger family circle than just me – and my crazy life – should give Dawn more … stability." She looked down at the check from Giles that was still in her hands. "And three people contributing to the household expenses should be helpful, especially if Giles and Anya will help us make a budget and a plan to get the bills paid." She looked hopefully at her more financially knowledgeable friends.

Anya chirped, "How very human of you all to pitch in … combine your resources … make a team effort. Though I feel compelled to tell you that it's going to be more difficult than the simple plan you've laid out. You realize that, right?"

Giles sighed and said as calmly as possible, "Anya, how about we let Buffy have a few moments of feeling the weight lift from her shoulders before we pile on the reality?"

Anya huffed and then walked back behind the counter where she could fondle the money.

Willow said to Giles and Buffy, "We can make this work. There shouldn't be any reason that Buffy should not be able to go back to school and go on with her life – well, I guess there's always the possibility of another apocalypse. But other than calamity brought on by demonic forces, I think we can totally do this."

"What are your plans for the day?" Giles asked Buffy.

"I thought I'd find something fun or relaxing to do today. After the past few days, I kinda feel like I deserve a break. Tonight, I figured I'd get Spike to go with me on patrol. That way, everyone else can work on research."

"Yes, that makes sense. Check in with me later so I can fill you in on anything we find."

With that, Tara and Willow gathered their things to leave for campus.

Buffy thanked Giles one more time for the check, before heading to the bank to deposit it in her account.

After the bank, she stopped at Burger King to pick up something for lunch. She ordered a Whopper, a large onion ring, and a large Coke. Just as the BK employee was about to hit the total button, she remembered that Spike liked that fried onion flower thing that some restaurants make. Even though it was a poor substitute, she added another large order of onion rings.

She made her way over to his crypt as quickly as possible, not wanting the food to get cold. When she got there, she gave to door a little tap and opened it without waiting for him to answer.

"Spike? Are you here?" She walked over to hole to the lower level and called again, "Spike?" She heard rustling of sheets and the groans of someone waking up.

After a couple moments, he made his way over to the ladder and looked up at her. Seeing him standing there with his shirt unbuttoned, she momentarily forgot what had brought her to his abode.

"Something I can help you with, luv?"

Buffy remembered the bag of food in her hand. She held it up where he could see and shook it enticingly. "Can I interest you in some onion rings? I know they're not as good as—"

His eyes twinkled and a smile spread across his chiseled features. He cut her off, "Well, no. But still quite tasty, especially if—" He stopped himself.

"If what?"

"If you dip them in … you see, I make this delicious spicy dip … well, I think it's delicious. The primary ingredient is … blood."

"Ew!"

"Shouldn't be surprised, luv. Vampire here, after all." He climbed up and found himself face to face with her. After a moment, he broke the tension between them by stepping to the side and walking over to the fridge to gather ingredients. "Feel free to have a seat and start eating. Better to eat red meat while it's still warm."

"Ew, again! But you are right. Burgers are not as tasty once they get cold."

It only took Spike a couple minutes to add a few things to the glass of blood to both thicken it and spice it up. He joined her and accepted the onion rings from her outstretched hand. Sitting next to her, he dipped the first ring into the red dipping sauce. He was aware of her watching him as he took a bite. When he dipped a second ring, he offered her a bite.

"A world of no."

He just laughed at her as he continued eating. "Thanks for this. Know you didn't have to."

"No, I didn't, but I was planning to drop by anyway. Thought it would rude to only bring food for myself."

Taken aback at her inadvertent admission, he asked, "You were planning to drop by?"

She became noticeably uncomfortable as she tried to formulate her reply. "After the week I've had, I wanted to be someplace safe where I could just hang out and relax."

"And that safe, relaxing place would be my crypt?"

"Yes. No. I mean, I feel comfortable around you. But mostly right now I'm paranoid about another out-of-the-blue demon attack. I figure I'm safer with you."

"Hmmph. I know you mean that as a good thing, but it's not that long ago I'd have been highly insulted by that." His expression softened. "But yeah, considering recent occurrences, best not to be on your own." He paused. Looking down at his food, he added, "And you are more than welcome to drop by anytime. Food or no food."

Buffy smiled warmly. They continued to eat in silence.

Then, without much warning, Spike got up to turn the tv on. "There is one caveat to the 'welcome anytime' deal."

"And that would be?"

"No talking during Passions. I mean it. Under no circumstances."

"Got it." She slurped the last of her Coke. "Except … can I ask questions if I don't know what's going on? I don't watch it."

"During commercials only." He pointed at her sternly with his index finger.

She stifled a laugh and nodded as she compliantly said, "Yes, sir."

Spike did not offer the chair to his guest, but rather sat down in it possessively. Buffy sat on the floor, leaning against the side of the upholstered seating. She did occasionally ask questions, carefully timed, so as not to bother her host. Spike's answers betrayed his obsession with the soap opera.

During one of the commercial breaks, he noticed Buffy was rubbing her neck. Spike realized that her body must be aching. Whether she was the Slayer or not, to come back from months flat on her back and jump right back into normal slaying duties – not to mention the added testing she had been enduring in recent days – it must be taking its toll.

He gestured to the spot on the floor between his feet and said, "Come 'ere. Shoulder rub in exchange for onion rings."

She was mildly suspicious, but her sore muscles would gladly accept his offer. She moved to spot in front of him, his knees on either side of her. He began tentatively, but within minutes, he used his strong hands more confidently and his skill was evident. She could tell when he was absorbed in the show, because his hands would slow down or even stop. However, he would resume his focus on her tense and sore muscles, particularly during the commercials. She found herself dreading the end of the hour, expecting that the massage would cease at that point.

When the episode was over, Spike's hands stilled on Buffy's shoulders. He leaned forward and whispered into her ear, "Tune in next time to find out if Timmy gets out of the bloody well and … to continue your backrub." When she did not respond, he moved to stand and cleared his throat, "You know, if you want to … 'cause I'm here every day … watching. Might as well do something productive with my hands." He took a step forward and turned the tv off. Turning back to Buffy, he changed the topic, "In light of what you said earlier, I'm guessing no luck finding out what's been taunting and testing you?"

"Giles and the gang are working on it and I've been thinking back through everything, but nothing so far." Seeing his expression, she asked, "You got a suggestion?"

"Damn right! I'd hit the demon world. Ask questions, throw punches, find out what's in the air. It's fun too."

"It's not my kind of fun."

"You might be surprised, you know. You've been to hell and back – okay, to Heaven and back. Come on. You weren't a normal girl before that … which means you are far, far from normal now. I know we are different, but we have more in common now than we did. And your life's gonna get a lot less confusing when you figure that out. You're not a schoolgirl. You're not a shop girl. I'd say you'd fit into my world at least as much as you fit into your old world." He paused before adding, "Try on my world. See how it feels."

"Are there drinks in your world?" She realized too late that her tone sounded flirtatious.

He gave her a crooked smile and nodded slowly. "Games and prizes, too."

Spike watched as Buffy stood and put on her jacket. When he realized that was her answer, he got up and quickly crossed the room to open the door for her.

[

At first, it seemed strange to Buffy – riding on the motorcycle, sitting behind Spike, her arms around his torso. After a few miles, she leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder.

When they arrived, she took one look at the exterior of what could generously be called a dive bar and said, "This is how you show a girl a good time?"

He turned to look her in the eye. She suddenly realized how that question might sound and started to take it back or correct it, but Spike spoke first.

"Is that what you wanted? For me to show you a good time?" Before she could turn her stuttering into words, he continued, "Because introducing you to my world is decidedly different than showing you a good time."

"No. Um. This is fine for now. I mean, I'm fine. This'll be fine."

"Yes, luv. We'll have a fine time. But first, we have to go inside."

As they entered the bar, the loud music hit them like a wall of sound. They made their way to the bar. Spike gestured "two" as he loudly said, "The usual." To Buffy, he said, "We're heading for the back room, pet. It's where the real action is."

The bartender began to pour two shots, but Buffy waved him off, saying, "I'd rather just take the bottle."

He handed the bottle over to her while putting out a hand to Spike, who handed over a few more bills.

At the door to the back room, Spike paused with his hand on the knob. "These lowlifes know everything that happens in this town." He opened the door and gestured her through doorway.

Looking at four creatures at a card table, Buffy said, "Oh, good. These are the lowlifes."

Spike gave her a sideways glance to get her to keep her mouth shut while he assessed the situation. Some of the regulars in the demon bars did not like him these days, since (as they put it) he now killed their kind.

Buffy was doing her own assessing. The four beings seated at the table appeared to be playing poker. One had tentacles that reminded her of dreadlocks. One had sagging loose skin and reminded her of a wrinkled puppy. One had too many eyes. One was green with horns and seemed to be in charge.

The green one indicated to the many-eyed one that he should leave the game. As he stood and began to shuffle out of the room, he did not seem happy that Spike was chosen over him. Buffy leaned toward him as he passed by her, "Have you heard anything about …" She went silent when he glared at her with all of his eyes. Turning her attention back to the table, she said to those remaining in the room, "We're gonna play cards?"

Spike smiled at the three seated demons. "I need a moment with my lady." He took her by the arm and led her a few steps away.

"I'm your lady now, am I?"

"I didn't mean it like that. Just meant … doesn't matter. Anyway, in my day, calling you a lady would be a sign of respect."

"Whatever. I thought we were here to get information."

"We are. Sit. Listen. These guys talk while they play."

"Alright, but I wanna play." She pouted.

"Do you even know how to play poker?"

"No." She batted her eyelashes as she did her best to persuade him. "But I bet you could teach me."

Spike held his tongue. There were so many things he wanted to say about the many things he would like to teach her. Instead of allowing his thoughts to exit his mouth, he turned to toward the demons and said, "For now, you watch. I'll teach you a little as we go along."

As Buffy sat down next to Spike, the loose-skinned one reached across the table to shake her hand, "Hi. I'm Clem."

Buffy shook his hand, saying, "Hi, Clem. I'm Buffy."

"We know who you are, Slayer," the green horned demon said. "Ante up."

They all leaned down under their chairs. Each of them put a kitten in the basket in the center of the table.

"You play for kittens?" Buffy was astonished at this development.

"Come on, ante up, Spike."

"Who's gonna stake me?"

Buffy giggled as she replied to the question, "I'll do it. Part of my job description after all."

Spike rolled his eyes at her.

"What? You thought I was just gonna let that lie there?"

"Be nice or I won't teach you how to play." Spike pulls out a few bills and puts them on the table. "Will that do for now?"

"This is the only hand we let you use paper currency. After that, if you don't have any kittens, you're out."

After Spike gave Buffy a quick rundown of the rules, she said, "That doesn't sound so difficult. I don't think I want to watch."

"What do you mean, luv?"

"I want in. I want to play."

Spike saw a familiar determined look on her face and decided not to argue with her. "One hand. And if it goes badly, then you just watch. Okay?"

Buffy shrugged in agreement. But the agreement would not matter for long, because she picked up the rules easily enough and was incredibly lucky. She was having more fun than she had playing games at home with her friends and Dawn. The kittens were adorable – even if they were stupid currency. She also really liked Clem. He was funny and nice … and the two of them both enjoyed picking on Spike when he was losing.

On the last hand, everyone was all in. Buffy laid down her cards. The others groaned as they looked at her hand. She had a straight and was the big winner of the night.

Smiling, Clem said, "You got lucky tonight, Slayer."

She turned to look at Spike. "Got my good luck charm with me."

The other two demons were not as happy for her good fortune. "Cleaned us out. I always thought that beginner's luck was a myth."

Buffy quipped, "Well, you were myth-taken."

Spike helped Buffy gather her winnings into a large basket with a lid. There was much wriggling and meowing in the process. But Spike knew that they needed to get out of there as quickly as possible. He knew that these guys were prone to starting fights when games did not go their way.

Clem said, "Goodbye," and his whole body seemed to wiggle when he waved to Buffy and Spike as they left the back room.

They made their way through the bar, Spike carrying the basket and Buffy putting on her coat. When they got outside she was grinning and then suddenly remembered that they had not come here for her to win a litter of kittens. She smacked him in the arm.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"You were gonna help me! You were gonna get me information to fix my life! But you're completely lame!"

A voice came from out of the shadows, "You're not lame. At least, not yet, Spike. Not if you pay up the forty Siamese you owe me." A demon with the head of a shark stepped out where they could see him.

"Take it easy. You'll get your kittens," Spike tried to sound calm as he replied, but he was keeping an eye on the shark's minions. "I just need a little more time."

"Sounds like you've got a basket full of kittens right there in your hands." The loan shark looked hungrily at the basket.

"These aren't mine. They belong to the bird, here. She had a big night. I lost everything but the shirt on my back."

Buffy stepped in front of Spike and looked at the shark as she said, "So, he owes you? Owes you big, huh?"

"Yeah. What's it matter to you?"

Buffy took an aggressive stance, squaring her shoulders. "It matters quite a bit. He works for me now." She paused for effect and looked at the shark's vampire minions. "You know who I am, right? I'd hate to have to make your guys … uh, disappear. What do you say … you take this basket here and call it payment in full. You don't bother Spike anymore and I'll let your guys walk away." She could tell he was considering her offer. "Do we have a deal?"

The shark nodded. As one of the minions moved forward to take the basket, the shark said to Spike, "You're a kept vamp now, are you? Quite a change from the William the Bloody who arrived in Sunnydale." His words were meant to be insults.

However, as Spike listened, he heard the truth – he had changed. Although he had not chosen to have a chip put in his head or to fall in love with the Slayer, ultimately he was more than okay with the changes in himself. Just didn't like having it thrown in his face.

He watched the loan shark and his minions walk away. Then, he turned to Buffy. "You didn't have to do that. I mean, I'm grateful, but … why did you?"

"What was I going to do with a basketful of kittens? Besides, I can dust those two another night. At least now, you're debt-free." Poking her index finger into his chest, "Just stay that way, mister. Not sure I'll have another night that lucky ever again. Also, it's going to get old if I have to keep coming to your rescue."

"But I have such fun playing the damsel in distress. And you … make quite a fetching hero." Spike was leaning toward Buffy with a sliver of a thought that he might kiss her. Then, he realized that he no longer had her attention.

"That van," she said.

Spike was confused by her statement. "But we've got the motorcycle."

"I've seen it before. At the construction site."

He followed her gaze to the vehicle. "You think it may be connected to the strange things that have been happening?"

However, before Buffy could answer him or they could do anything, the van pulled out and drove away. They caught a glimpse of someone behind the steering wheel as it turned the corner.

Spike shrugged. "Glass half full? You're not crazy. Someone is following you around. Might even be a human someone."

She would have to share this new development with the rest of the gang. Right now though, she was tired from too much poker, too much drink, too much saving vampire-ass. Yawning on the way home, she told herself that she would tell Giles and the gang about the van in the morning.

[

[

Time seemed to pass quickly. And at the same time, slowly. Her nights were spent patrolling. The wee hours of the morning were spent trying to fall asleep and then finally catching a few hours of slumber. Her mornings were spent getting Dawn out the door to school and then doing a few chores.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

In addition to those regularly scheduled events, she often spent her afternoons watching tv with Spike. She did not pay much attention to what was happening on the screen. She could not have cared less what happened to the characters on Passions. But she enjoyed being there – just sitting quietly in his company.

Since her friends had brought her back from the dead, the passage of time was, in a word, strange. Days passed into weeks and before Buffy knew it, it was Halloween.

[

[

On Halloween, things are normally subdued (even in Sunnydale) as the demon population took a break from their very real scary activity to allow for humans to have their pretend scary activities. There had been some strange occurrences in the past on All Hallow's Eve. However, it had usually involved one or more of the Scooby gang and could have been just an average day-in-the-life of the Slayer and her friends. Although there was no reason to think there would be an uptick in activity tonight, Buffy could not rule out the possibility that something wicked this way comes. Because in Sunnydale, it often does.

Anya had, of course, planned a holiday themed sale and a variety of enticing activities to draw customers to the Magic Box. Some (but not all) of the customers and staff were in costume for the occasion. Anya was roller skating through the store in 1970s attire – her homage to the tv show Charlie's Angels. Buffy found something both ironic and poetic that a former demon would choose to dress up as an angel of any type.

As Anya glided by customers, she would inform them, "Everything on the table is half off, including the table" and "If you buy one eyeball, you get the second free!"

Nearby, Xander was attempting to entertain children with his pirate shtick. Giles dressed in a wizard robe, worked his magic on the cash register.

Tara was about to join Willow in helping a customer, when she overheard Anya begin what could be an entirely inappropriate topic of conversation with Dawn. "Why don't you see if Willow needs any help in magical texts?'

Dawn was confused by the odd conversational turn, but wandered over to Willow just in time to hear her berate a customer for perpetuating a narrow and prejudiced understanding of witches. This tirade was immediately followed by Willow cooing over a small adorable girl dressed in a stereotypical witch costume – who was apparently in desperate need of candy corn for whatever she planned to brew up this evening.

When Dawn realized that nobody was paying attention to her, she turned her attention toward the shiny things displayed on the table. She casually picked up a large gold coin and slipped it into her pocket.

Just then, Buffy bumped into her while trying to dodge a shopper.

"Hey there, big sis. Where you headed in such a hurry?"

"Anya asked me to check the basement for mandrake root."

"Can I tag along? There's cool stuff down there. And as an added bonus, if we act now, no customers."

"You've been watching too many infomercials." Buffy rolled her eyes at Dawn. "Sure, you can come along. But don't blame me if we have this conversation over and over …" She continued as they walked down the stairs, "… and over and over and over."

At the bottom of the stairs, she turned and ran directly into Spike. They both jumped, slightly startled. Then, their eyes met. Buffy swallowed before saying, "Bell. Neck. Look into it."

"Come with a nice leather collar, does it?"

Unsure of whether they were aware of her presence, Dawn cleared her throat. "Were you just lurking down here in case someone came down? Or were you going to come up and help us?"

Spike kept his eyes on Buffy's as he said over her shoulder, "Hey there, Bit. Came in through the tunnels. Running low on burba weed." Seeing that both Summers girls were confused by this, "Stir it in with the blood. Makes it all hot and spicy."

"Hot and spicy?" Buffy wanted to be disgusted at the thought of any flavor of blood, but those words coming from his lips while he looked directly at her was having a different effect on her. She changed the subject, "You wouldn't happen to know where the mandrake root is, would you?"

"So what made you return to customer disservice?" Spike made his way over to a shelf of jars.

"One-time deal to help out. And I mean straight time. No loop-de-loop mummy hand repeat-o-vision." Buffy moved a step stool over in order to reach the shelf that Spike pointed out.

"That one over there," he said as he helped to steady her while she leaned toward the desired jar.

She handed the jar to him and leaned on his shoulders while making her way down the step stool.

Spike was examining the glass container. "Only three to a jar. Tend to go a bit wonky if you … cram them too close." He was keenly aware of his proximity to Buffy.

Dawn might be young, but not so young that she did not pick up on the tension between the two. She walked over and took the jar from Spike. "I'll just take this up to Anya," Dawn said as she turned to go up the stairs, giving the pair some privacy.

Once they were alone, Spike inquired, "So if you don't have any plans for later … feel like a bit of the rough and tumble?"

"What?"

"Me … you … " He enjoyed watching her squirm. "Patrolling? Hello?"

"Well, I have to stay here 'til the store closes. Maybe after that."

"That's what I meant. Got plans right now. Great Pumpkin's on in twenty." He turned to head back toward the tunnels.

A moment later, Buffy had a thought and rushed after him to grab his arm, stopping him. "There's a small tv upstairs in the back room." She paused while Spike absorbed what was happening. "You could stay here and watch it."

He tilted his head and smiled at her as he said, "Only if you watch with me. Getting used to having you around when I watch tv."

"I'm kinda getting used to that too."

They walked up the stairs and stealthily made their way to the television. Spike was glad to have Buffy's company while watching one of his holiday favorites. Buffy was glad to be hiding from the tyrannical Anya and her myriad of customers. And much as it would have surprised her in the past, she did not mind one bit that it meant spending time with Spike.

[

Eventually, it was time to close the store. When the Peanuts special ended, Buffy and Spike had made their way out into the store to assist the rest of the gang. Dawn shooed the last remaining customers out the door.

Xander had collapsed on the floor. "Store go boom."

Giles began to hand out cleaning supplies. "And after the boom, it's time to use the broom."

In a joyfully helpful tone, Willow said, "I could whip up a jaunty self-cleaning incantation. It'll be like Fantasia."

Giles turned on his stern teacher voice, "We all know how splendidly that turned out for Mickey."

While the cleaning began, Dawn and Anya were dancing behind the counter.

With enthusiastic arm gestures and glee in her voice, Anya said, "I do this dance every time I close out the cash register. I call it the dance of capitalist superiority. Capitalism is really the best part of being human." She glanced over at Xander, who was staring at her lovingly. "Well, one of the best parts."

Xander was barely aware that Giles and Spike were near him as he said softly, "I'm gonna marry that girl."

The Watcher and the vampire exchanged glances.

Hesitantly, Giles said, "That's a rather significant commitment. Have you given this adequate consideration?"

Xander did not reply to his question directly. "Have either of you been engaged or ever proposed to someone?"

Giles cleared his throat. "In my younger days – my 'Ripper' years – I would never have considered the institution of marriage. As I got older and began to take my life as a watcher more seriously, there simply wasn't the time to give oneself to a relationship in earnest." His eyes dropping to the floor, his voice betrayed his emotion, "Though I would like to have tried to make a go of it with Jenny Calendar." He shook himself from his reverie and turned to Spike, "And what of your relationship history? Anyone capture your attention, win your heart?"

"Though you two often reduce the entirety of my existence to who I have been in my vilest moments, in truth I have been in love more than once. When I was still human, I was consumed with passion for the loveliest young lady in my social circle. However, she did not deem me worthy. But had she returned my affection, I would have wed her without a moment's pause." Changing his tone, "Shortly after being rejected by Cecily, I was sired by Drusilla. She was my everything. I was given a new life with power beyond my wildest dreams. I travelled the world and experienced things I could scarcely have imagined. To see years turn into decades and the changing of centuries – none of that would have been possible without her." He paused and the poet in him surfaced, "But I did truly love her. Felt a passion for her that you would say is not possible for a vampire to feel. But I am here to tell you that she made me feel more alive after my death than I ever would have if I had continued as I was living. And when she was ill, I found my purpose in caring for her every need. That's the very definition of love – to give to another and receive from another, for better or worse, in sickness and in health. What we had was special. What we had could have been considered a marriage. Even death did not part us. My passion for her fueled my existence."

Spike's monologue had left the two men stunned.

He tried to transition out of odd conversational territory in which they had found themselves. "All I can say to you, Xander, is that if your feelings for Anya are true and run deep, that is what will give you a reservoir from which to love well, to love truly, and for the passion you feel now to last your whole life long. If you want to marry her, I say cheers to the both of you. Everyone deserves a chance at happiness."

Xander made eye contact with Spike. "That was completely unexpected, but … um, thanks, man." All he could do was nod, but he made a mental note that Spike would do a great job with the toast at the wedding reception.

With resolve, Xander stood and walked over to the counter, holding his hand out indicating that Anya should join him. "Hey, everybody. There's, um, something that Anya and I wanna tell you."

"Now?" Anya whispered to him.

"Now." Turning his attention to the others in the room, he said, "We're getting married." The couple began to kiss passionately and did not seem to intend on stopping anytime in the near future.

The reaction in the room was mixed. Tara and Dawn were caught up in the romance of it all. Willow and Buffy were stunned and feeling instinctively protective of their long-time friend. Giles was becoming disgusted with the display of affection taking place in front of him. Spike felt many things: his habitual tendency to not care was still present, but mixed with joy for the happy couple, a bit of jealousy over what they had together, and amazement that Xander (of all humans) was able to get past Anya's former life as a vengeance demon and love her anyway.

For several minutes, there was much chatter and cleaning of eyewear. Then, began a chorus of oohs and aahs as Anya showed off the engagement ring that Xander had given her.

With tears glistening in her eyes and her hand outstretched, Anya told them all, "He said he couldn't imagine the rest of his life without me. And then, he gave me this!"

Giles had disappeared to locate cups and a bottle of something with which to toast. "Where I come from, this sort of thing requires much in the way of libation." As he handed a cup to Xander, he said, "Anya is a wonderful former vengeance demon. I'm sure you'll spend many years of … non-hell-dimensional bliss."

As Buffy was apologizing for not providing a fancier celebration, Anya interrupted to make it clear that this was just the first of many opportunities to shower them with congratulations in the form of gifts or money.

Willow and Tara found some snacks that Giles had hidden away and gathered all the leftover candy from the bowls throughout the store. They managed to put together a nice spread on the round table that was normally used for research.

Tara did her best Vanna White arm flourish to draw everyone's attention to the refreshments. "Maybe, we'll have time to decorate for the next celebration."

"Why wait?" Willow gave her own flourish accompanied by a few phrases which seemed to send fairy dust around the store, leaving decorations in its wake.

Anya was thrilled and could barely contain herself. Dawn was giddy with excitement. Tara was noticeably displeased. The others looked around, mildly stunned and a bit concerned.

Tara bumped into Willow when she was coming back from the restroom with some paper towels to use for napkins. "We could've put up decorations. And there were already some decorations up for the holiday sale. You didn't need to use magic."

"But these are perfect. And extra biodegrable-y. In a couple of hours … poof!"

"Willow, I j-just wish that you would stop and think about what you're—"

"You're always coming down on me for doing magic that couldn't harm a fly. What's your problem?"

Dawn was now standing near them. "Sorry. Just checkin' on the paper towels."

"It's okay. We're done." Willow took the paper towels from Tara and began walking back to the table.

Dawn observed the couple carefully for a few moments. Then, she began to put her coat on. "See everyone tomorrow."

Buffy was caught off guard. "Whoa! Tomorrow?"

"Yeah. I'm sleeping over at Janice's, remember?"

"That's tonight? But it's a school night."

"Come on. You said I could. And besides they're having dinner just a few blocks away. I'll walk straight over to the restaurant to meet them. Not like I'm gonna be roaming the streets."

"Fine." Buffy knew that she had enough other battles to fight. She chose to walk away from this one.

After Dawn departed, there was music and dancing, talking and laughing, planning and dreaming.

Among the things that Anya rambled was: "There's just so much to consider, though. Planning the wedding … new cars and a house … and babies."

To get Anya to stop spinning every good and bad scenario, Buffy interjected with a sense of finality, "Look, all that matters is that you're happy. Everything else is thick gravy goodness."

"You're right, of course. I am the luckiest ex-demon in the world. I mean, to be able to find the one person in all dimensions that I was meant to be with, and have everything work out exactly as I dreamed. I mean, how often does the universe allow that to happen?"

While Anya and Xander gazed at one another, Buffy looked on with a sense of wonder, asking herself if it could be possible that her friend had fallen in love, with an ex-demon no less … but more than that, she was pondering the question that Anya had posed: how often does the universe allow romantic dreams of love and happiness to be fulfilled?

Although he did not know what Buffy was thinking precisely, Spike watched as hope and melancholy alternated in her expression.

When Xander moved toward the front door for some fresh air, Buffy followed. They stood on the sidewalk in front of The Magic Box, at times leaning on the wall.

"Air. Sweet mother oxygen," sighed Xander.

Buffy responded in part to Xander's intense need to step away for a moment and her own swirling thoughts. "But this is good. I mean, this is … love and celebration and moving forward. Anya's right. This is the way life's supposed to work out."

"Right. Deep pools of ooey delight. I'm wallowing, not drowning."

"Definite wallow action." Buffy turned as she heard the siren of an approaching ambulance. She decided to go check out the situation and Xander followed her.

As they walked down the street, there were kids and adults in costumes as far as the eye could see. When they arrived at what she now could see was a crime scene, there was a small crowd of people watching as paramedics cared for a woman. Buffy positioned herself so that she had an unobstructed view of the woman, whose neck had very clearly been bitten by a vampire.

[

Meanwhile, inside the store, Giles answered the ringing phone. "Oh, Mrs. Penshaw, yes, uh … no, Dawn said she was staying the night at your house." It was clear from Giles' failed attempts to jump into the conversation that Mrs. Penshaw was not pleased. Finally, he was able to get in, "Alright, let's just, um … if I hear anything I'll let you know."

Giles turned off the music just as Xander and Buffy reentered the store. "That was Janice's mother on the telephone. Apparently, Janice said that she was staying the night with Dawn."

Xander muttered under his breath, "Ahh, dipping into the classics."

Giles continued, "When her mother called the house and got no answer, she thought we might still be here at the store. Apparently, they were indeed having dinner nearby, but Janice left the restaurant under the pretense of walking over here to go home with Dawn at closing time."

Buffy was about to tell them what she and Xander had just seen down the street, but this new information about Dawn brought the problem home. "Wait, she's out there running around by herself? We have to find her."

Spike moved immediately to her side, "Why? What's going on?"

"Someone forgot to take the night off. There has been at least one vampire attack in town, just a little while ago." Buffy opened the storage chest, grabbed a few weapons and tossed them to each of the others while Giles barked out a plan.

As the elder member of this group, Giles seemed to always find himself doling out tasks, "Willow and Tara, look for Dawn and Janice at the Bronze. Perhaps, they were just looking to have some good clean fun tonight. But that would not prevent a vampire from turning up there and ruining their plans. Anya, stay here at the store in case they come back or Mrs. Penshaw calls again. Xander, you should go back to the house, in case they show up there. I'm going to go by the restaurant and see if anyone remembers seeing them. Then, I'll check the coffee shop and any place else that's open. Buffy, I'm assuming you've already formulated your own plan of attack."

"Spike and I are going back down the street to the scene of the one known attack. We'll see if there are clues to follow. Maybe, check the playground in the park. Basically: find the vamp or vamps, kick ass and make dust – don't care about takin' names. Especially if they're messin' with my sister."

[

Giles made his way through town and then through a cemetery, where he could hear noise coming from the nearby woods. He found Janice with someone she knew as Zack, who seemed quite interested in the veins of her neck. After a short fight that would result in some bumps and bruises the next day, Giles was successful in dusting the vampire and saving Janice.

Buffy and Spike found themselves in the same wooded area with Giles, surrounded by a large group of vamps who apparently considered themselves rebels.

Spike was livid. "It's Halloween, you bunch of nits! We take the night off. Those are the rules. Give the lot of us a bad name."

Ultimately, the good guys were victorious. However, most of the time Buffy wasn't even trying – she just stood there and let them run into her stake. You might say, she was just going through the motions, but there was very little motion involved.

In the end, Dawn was the one who dusted the vampire named Justin, with a pencil from his own jacket pocket.

[

Willow and Tara were the last to get back to the house where everyone was now gathered – safe and sound, though a little worse for wear from the night's events. Once they knew everyone was okay, Xander and Anya went home. Tara, still upset about the continuing argument over Willow's use of magic, excused herself to go upstairs to bed. Willow soon followed. Just before climbing into bed with an unhappy Tara, Willow did a quick spell which caused Tara to immediately forget that they had been fighting about anything. Once Willow settled into bed, Tara cuddled up to her shoulder. Contentment beamed from both of their faces as they drifted off to sleep.

[

Back downstairs, there was quite a discussion happening.

Dawn was trying to explain her actions. "Janice was meeting this other boy and she invited me along to meet his friend. When we got there, I recognized him. I'd seen him around at parties. He was so cute and he said I was beautiful. Sometimes, it's nice to hear that. I thought he really liked me. We were sitting in his car talking and then, well, we weren't talking and he kissed really well, not that I have much of anything to compare it to really, but it was nice – at least, until he bit my lip."

Buffy nearly jumped out of her skin. "You were parking … with a vamp?!"

"I didn't know he was dead. I just met him!"

"So, you were parking in the woods with a boy you just met?"

"Like you've never fallen for a vampire?"

"That was different." Buffy was becoming progressively uncomfortable with the direction this conversation was going.

"It always is when it's you." Dawn grabbed her glass and walked into the kitchen to put it in the sink. Mostly, she needed to get some distance between her and Buffy for a moment or two.

Spike started to stand up from his chair. "Guess I should bugger off. Something about big bads not venturing far from their crypts on Halloween."

"Would you stay?" Turning to Giles, she said, "Would you both stay? I need help getting through to her. If she won't listen to her big sister or the Slayer, maybe a father figure can get the point across. Or better still, a vampire might be able to frighten her enough that she never does anything that stupid again."

They agreed to stay and attempt to reinforce her point of view. At times, they seemed to be effective. At others, they felt completely useless while observing a fight between sisters.

Buffy was trying to assure her that she remembered what it was like to be a young teenage girl. "Dawn, I don't have anything against you wanting to do things with your friends or you having a boyfriend. But you should find a nice boy – there are some out there."

"But Angel was your boyfriend."

"That's different."

"Why exactly?"

"It just is. And besides, he's not my boyfriend now. It could never work, even if there were no curse. He's a vampire and I'm the Slayer – but that's not the issue here. You're human and you—"

"I am not. I'm the Key. Or at least, I was. A mystical ball of energy is not a human."

"Well, you're human now. The monks made you human. And in order to stay human, you need to stay away from vampires." Seeing that she was getting nowhere, Buffy turned to Spike and said, "Maybe you can try to explain it to her."

He explained that although there were rare occasions when you might meet a vampire or other demonic creature who would not immediately desire to do you harm, those would be incredibly rare. "Me, Angel, Anya, and some of my friends like Clem – these are the exceptions rather than the rule. Look, Bit … love you like you were my own sister. I hope you know that. I would have been inconsolable if that vampire had hurt you tonight. I'm here to tell you the cautionary tale – unless I introduce you to one of them and tell you that you can trust them … don't. I didn't protect you from Glory just so you could go off in the woods and get yourself … Anyway, guess that's all I've got to say on the matter."

Giles took a more fatherly tone, in contrast to Spike's approach. Giles' love for her was evident, but he was insistent, "There can be no tolerance of this behavior, of you pressing us on this issue. If you want to have your go at teenage rebellion, you will just have to find some other way to go about it. I hope we have made ourselves perfectly clear."

A teary-eyed, puffy-faced repentant Dawn gave hugs all around before going up to bed.

Giles voiced some lingering concerns and said his goodnights, leaving Spike and Buffy alone on the main floor of the house.

Buffy had been rambling about how unfair it was for Dawn to throw the Angel situation in her face, when she noticed that Spike had not said anything for a while. Once it dawned on her that he had gone silent, she could tell he was upset about something. "Penny for your thoughts."

"Nothing to say, really."

"I don't believe that. I can tell you're aggravated about something. What is it?"

"I'd rather not say."

"You'd rather not say? What does that mean?"

"It means I don't want to say something I can't take back."

"And you're upset enough that you think you might … say something you can't take back?" Buffy was exasperated now.

"Yes. I do. In fact, I think I'd better get going. I'll see you tomorrow. Glad I could be of help tonight."

"Good fight. And thanks for talking to Dawn." She held his gaze as she asked, "And you and I ... we'll talk about the rest another time?"

"You mean the thing I don't want to talk about tonight?"

"That. And the other thing."

Spike nodded. He knew she was talking about the kiss they had yet discuss, other than to acknowledge that they had not discussed it.

[

On the walk back to his crypt, the events of the evening and Buffy's words rolled around in his head. He had known it would be a challenge to get Buffy to view him as a man and not as a monster. He was starting to wonder whether she would ever be able to get past it.

Then, his mind went to events earlier in the year. About a month before Buffy died, he had allowed Glory to beat him to a pulp, rather than reveal that Dawn was the Key for which she was searching. Buffy had come to him pretending at first to be the Buffy-Bot to be sure that he had not given any information to Glory. She had kissed him that day. She had said that what he did for her and Dawn was real. And that she would not forget it. But that kiss was real, too. And he could not forget that. No spell from Willow. Not the animatronic lips of the Bot. A real kiss that she willingly gave him.

Then, there was the night of the battle with Glory, the night that Buffy died. She had kissed him that night, too – though he'd wager that she had not done so in the original timeline of events.

It was infuriating. She had kissed him. It had been real … and really intense. They had had a few moments when they were alone together since she had returned. He could tell she was attracted to him, could tell that she felt something for him – something more than allies, something more than friendship.

But her words tonight – that it could not work with Angel even without the curse because he was a vampire and she was the Slayer – did not have an added footnote. He had to assume that her line of reasoning applied to him as well. Vampire. Slayer. End of story.

However, her recent actions told a different story. The way she depended on him. The trust she placed in him. The time they spent together.

Her words said it was impossible. Yet, she came to him just the same.

---

A/N:

Thanks again for reading. Feedback greatly appreciated.

Until next time …

~Jen

26 January 2016