DISCLAIMER: Whedon's characters, any recognizable dialogue, and the canon events of their storyline are not mine.

A/N: 19 September 2017

Sincerest apologies for the extended wait. I did not want to post an update until I was ready to return to this.

When I first wrote Chapters 13-18, I had intended to edit it down significantly. However, after the deaths of three loved ones, I wasn't in a good headspace – plus this storyline has some triggers for me personally – so I avoided taking the time to go over the material again before it was originally posted. It's been a year since I posted the original version of Ch 18 (and two years since posting the initial eight chapters). Late this summer, I was finally ready to come back with fresh eyes.

Many thanks to those readers who took the time to review/pm. Your feedback informed my editing choices.

The basic plot/storyline/character arcs of Ch 12-18 remain the same as the original version. If you remember what happened, no need to read the edited version. However, if you have long since forgotten how Spike was doing with his second chance – and you choose to click back and reread – then I hope you enjoy the new version (those 7 chapters were edited down from 80K to 44K words, including a significant reduction in musical mayhem).

Chapters 19 & 20 roughly correspond to #6.9 "Smashed" and #6.10 "Wrecked"

Thanks so much for returning to read this story. Hopefully, it was worth the wait.

CHAPTER 19

Rat Saw Rack

The following week was relatively normal and peaceful for most of the Scooby Gang. Giles and Anya focused their energy on getting the shop in order – knowing that another crisis would come and they should be diligent during the calm. But truthfully, any spare moment Anya had was spent on wedding planning. Dawn, Willow, and Tara were occupied with homework and studying. Xander was working his regular hours, plus replacing the glass and repairing the window frame in Buffy's living room.

Buffy was occupied with getting caught up on things around the house. Since Tara moved out, there was a noticeable difference without her helpful hands. Cleaning, laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, meal prep – these were the things that filled Buffy's schedule these days. She decided to give Dawn a list of chores for her to do during normal weeks (you know, weeks without crisis or apocalypse). But even delegating some things to Dawn, she would need assistance, especially if she was going to start taking classes again.

After a trip to campus for a meeting with her advisor, Buffy made the decision to go back part-time next semester. She filed the necessary paperwork to reenroll and made another appointment to plan completion of her degree and register for spring semester classes. Leaving campus, she realized that her life was beginning to feel almost normal again.

[

Spike had fallen into a comfortable pattern for the past week – wake up late, have a liquid lunch, wait for Buffy to drop by to watch Passions, go through the tunnels to the Magic Box for her workout and checking in with Giles while Dawn did her homework, and then, after the Summers girls had dinner and Dawn was safely tucked at home, he and Buffy would patrol.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

The days were long, but he did not mind. He got to spend those hours with Buffy – daytime hours side by side with her, nighttime hours fighting shoulder to shoulder. He enjoyed fighting alongside her. It made every fiber of his being sing and zing. More than that, he liked knowing that she felt she could lean on him, that she trusted him to back her up if things came to blows. It felt like a partnership and the closest thing to family he'd had in years. Their connection was becoming more solid. She was becoming more and more comfortable with him. Progress was slow, but he was in it for the long haul.

On this particular morning, he had woken up earlier than usual, but chose to stay in bed. He was looking over the timeline of future events. It seemed to him that he had made it through the first few months successfully. The stretch of time from now through the end of the school year could prove difficult. Future-Buffy had been vague – they had been together, but she had broken it off. That must have been when they were sleeping together. She had encouraged him not to rush things, but he really did not want to leave to get his soul without them having some level of commitment.

He wondered when he should tell her about her visit from the future. She had suggested that he talk to Tara before leaving in the spring, but he felt like he was lying by keeping things from this Buffy. If they are going to work together as true partners, she needed to know she could trust him. If he waited too long to tell her, she might not react well to him withholding information.

He slid the timeline under the mattress and rolled back over onto his pillow, closing his eyes. He let his mind wander, thinking about whether he should be doing anything more than what he was presently doing.

Although he did not intend to fall asleep, he must have dozed off, because he awoke to Buffy sitting on the edge of his bed.

"Morning, luv. Did you need something?"

"No. I dropped by campus to talk to my advisor and a couple professors ... classes I had to drop when Mom got sick ... to talk to them … since I'm gonna be taking classes again."

"It went well, then?"

"Yeah. But not important right now. On my way here, I stopped at Burger King."

He smiled and his eyes lit up as he asked, "Onion rings?"

She nodded as she stood. "I left the bag ..." She gestured toward the ladder.

"I'll be right up."

A minute later, he was fully clothed and heading toward the fridge to get blood to make his favorite dipping sauce. Since both of them were hungry, they ate in silence for a while.

When they began talking, he turned on the conversational charm – witty wordplay and dazzling discourse. He made a particularly humorous comment and caused her to double over with laughter.

She looked at him looking at her and asked, "What's with the grin?"

"Just love the sound of your laugh is all." He glanced down and played with his food. "Especially if I'm the one able to get you to laugh." He looked back up to find a smile on her face. "Your smile. That sparkle in your eyes."

Blushing, she tucked her hair behind her ears as she avoided his eyes. "Is there mandatory attendance at vampire charm school?"

"What?"

"Just occurred to me that all this sweet talk would come in handy when trying to lure unsuspecting female victims. After Angel … and meeting Dracula … and some of the things you've said to me … I guess some part of me wonders … uh, never mind."

"Buffy." He waited for her to look at him. When she didn't, he said, "Slayer," which got her attention. "Yes, vampires are skilled at seduction. But that's not what this is."

She gave him a skeptical look.

"I've made my feelings plain enough. And I won't deny that I'd like to … know you … intimately."

"At least, you're being honest." She paused before continuing. Even as the words came out of her mouth, Buffy couldn't believe she was asking, "What do you want from this? From me?"

"Right now, I'm just a boy opening his heart to a girl … hoping the girl will open her heart to him. Will you do that? Can you do that?"

She didn't answer him. Her eyes were locked on his as she chewed on her lower lip. Disengaging from the conversation, she stood and walked across the room.

A moment later, he moved to stand behind her. He placed a hand tenderly on her arm. "Buffy?"

Turning to face him, she said, "I feel like this is something different to you than it is to me – that it means something different to you. I—"

He stopped her words and train of thought as he began to kiss her tentatively. When she reciprocated, his fingers ghosted along the side of her face, through her hair, down her arm and the side of her torso. His hand finally coming to rest at her lower back, he pulled her toward himself.

She did not push away from him, but she did pull back from the kiss.

He grinned as he said, "Not so different." His tone became more serious and more tender than she could remember. "Just don't shut me out. Give us a chance. Give me a chance. Let me woo you."

There was a long pause before she finally responded. "What have you been doing?"

He realized she was teasing him, so he tossed back, "Preliminary … preparation … an overture, you might say."

"So … you've got better lines … better moves than this?"

"Got a feeling I'm gonna need to invent some new ones. But you're worth the effort. Doubt you'd swoon at my old material anyway."

She glanced at her watch. As she walked over to the ladder, silently communicating that it was time for them to get going, she threw this comment over her shoulder, "Looking forward to seeing what you come up with." Then, she climbed down the ladder to walk through the lower level of the crypt to the tunnels.

[

When Buffy and Spike arrived at the store, they found Anya busily counting inventory and Giles doing research. He still hadn't figured out the strange occurrences that seemed to be connected with the appearance of the mystery van. They talked for a while. Giles asked her the same questions he had asked her several times before – trying to see if she would remember something else or describe something differently, any little shred of new that would bring hope and insight. Finding none, Buffy and Spike went to the back room to spar.

Dawn was spending the afternoon and evening with Tara, so Buffy didn't need to go back to the house before patrolling. She and Spike planned to remain at the store until sunset. Just as they were about to leave the Magic Box, the phone rang. Giles put the call on speaker and gestured that Buffy should come over to the phone.

Willow's voice was rambling excitedly. "Something happened at the museum last night. A guard was frozen solid and a large diamond was stolen. Some of the details weren't in the news, but after Amy told me she saw it on tv, I hacked in magically and read the police report."

Gilles and Buffy looked at one another.

In a concerned tone, Giles asked, "You hacked in …?"

However, Buffy was stuck on something else Willow had said. "Amy told you?"

"Oh. Yeah. Amy. No longer a rat."

"How?"

"Just thought of the right thing. Anyway, I'll see what else I can find out, but I wanted to let you know."

When the conversation ended, Giles removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "Looks like I need to have another talk with Willow. Using magic to hack in … and changing Amy back."

"Let's not overreact," Buffy said.

"No. It's past time to react," Spike said. "Willow just made herself a playmate who won't put limits on her magical activities. That's disconcerting, don't you think?"

Giles looked at Spike and nodded.

Buffy studied both of their faces. "Well, when you put it that way."

Returning to his desk, Giles said to the pair, "You two go out and patrol. Make a stop at the museum. See if you can determine if this is a natural or supernatural occurrence." As he removed his glasses to rub his eyes, he let out a frustrated sigh. "We should make a plan of how to approach Willow. Soon."

[

After Spike and Buffy went to check out the crime scene at the museum, they determined there was not much they could do. They made a sweep through town and a couple cemeteries – dusting a few vamps they came across. It was a fairly quiet night on the Hellmouth.

She had not eaten dinner and was quite hungry by now. Spike suggested the diner near the highway, which was one of the few places open all night.

He ordered onion rings and a glass of tomato juice. She ordered an omelet.

When the waitress walked away from the table, Buffy asked, "Onion rings, again? And what's with the beverage choice?"

"I've got two flasks with me – one is filled with blood. If I add it to a glass of tomato juice …"

"Ah … you can drink it in public without drawing attention."

"Figured you'd be used to stuff like this … all the time you and Angel were together."

"We didn't really go out that much. I mean, sometimes, he'd show up at the Bronze, but other than that …"

"Well, I'm not him."

"I know that. I've known that for a while."

Their food arrived a couple minutes later and they continued to talk as they ate. Conversation flowed easily and to any casual observer, this would have looked like a date.

When they had finished eating, Spike helped her into her jacket. After paying the bill, he held the door for her to step through onto the sidewalk. He wanted to reach out and hold her hand, but the evening was going so well and he was afraid of doing anything that might ruin it. He began to walk on her right side, placing himself between her and the road.

She put her hands in her jacket pockets. He took that to mean there would be no handholding and he put his own hands in the pockets of his leather duster. A moment later, she produced a tin of mints and popped one into her mouth. She offered him one and he accepted.

When he had put his hand back in his pocket, she walked closer beside him and reached her hand around his elbow, linking her arm with his. He turned to look at her and she started to pull away.

He placed his right hand over the hand she had wrapped around his left elbow. "No need to shy away. I quite like the idea of strolling arm in arm with such a beautiful woman."

Buffy cozied up against his side, wrapping both of her arms around his. They had to slow the pace of their walk to accommodate their closeness. Every few steps, he would turn to gaze at her. Sometimes, she would look back at him; sometimes, she would just lean into him. With every block of sidewalk, their proximity became more intense.

They were a little more than halfway home when they stopped at an intersection, waiting for a car to pass. Spike turned to face her. The moment seemed to move fast and slow at the same time. His movement was both deliberate and graceful as he shifted toward her and placed his hand on the side of her face. He looked her directly in the eye for just a split second before kissing her – his lips hungrily seeking something from her. It was one of those kisses that you are think may have lasted longer in your memory than in reality. But what does that matter when it feels as if someone has poured hot lava into your bloodstream?

As suddenly as he had kissed her, he backed away from her just as abruptly. "I'm sorry," he said looking at the ground and putting his hands back into his pockets.

"What are you apologizing for?"

"The kiss I just gave you. Not exactly part of the 'slow down plan' is it?"

"Look, just because I don't … want to just fall into bed with you or have a public grope-fest, doesn't mean that I don't … it's just that … you know, we should take it … slow."

Considering her unfinished thoughts, he replied, "Hmm. It does leave something to look forward to." He kissed the back of her hand. "Do you know what an amuse-bouche is?"

She shook her head indicating that she did not – all the while caught in that beautiful blue-eyed gaze.

"It is a bite-sized appetizer. Literally means 'to entertain the mouth.' It's a little something to keep your mouth busy until you … get to the main course."

"Oh," was all she could manage to say. However, her imagination was running wild.

He still had hold of the hand he had kissed. He took that arm and linked it with his as they again began to walk down the sidewalk. They each had a smile of their faces, a twinkle in their eyes, and a slight spring in their steps as they continued toward Buffy's house.

[

During late afternoon into the evening, Willow had done more research which led to very little additional information. As she prepared to wind down for the night, Amy was ready to turn up the fun. When Willow did not seem interested in her pleas to join her for some socializing, Amy masterfully manipulated her – playing on her adolescent insecurities about being considered uncool.

Their first stop was the Bronze. Playing games, a little dancing, some flirting, and a lot of magic. They cranked things up way past the level of a respectable party. And then, they got bored. They needed a higher high, a bigger fix.

That was when Amy took Willow to meet Rack.

[

Shortly after Willow and Amy had gone out, Tara had returned Dawn to the house. Finding the place empty, Tara decided to stay to keep Dawn company until someone came home. They sat on the couch to watch tv and soon fell asleep.

That's where Buffy found them when she came home at 2 a.m. She covered them with a blanket, turned off the tv and lights, and went up to bed.

[

[

When Tara and Dawn woke up the next morning, they were a bit confused to find themselves on the couch. They went upstairs to see if anyone else was home. The door to Joyce's old room was open and the bed had not been slept in. Before they even considered what it meant that Willow had not come home, they rushed down the hallway to Buffy's room.

Dawn pounced on the bed. "You're here. Why didn't you wake us up when you came home?"

Rubbing her eyes, Buffy said. "The two of you looked so peaceful and it was really late. I just covered you up and let you sleep." Looking at Tara, she added, "I'm sorry if you needed to be somewhere."

"No. It's fine. I was just worried when I woke up on the couch – concerned why you hadn't come home. But you did, so no worries."

Smiling from ear to ear, Dawn asked Tara, "Since you're here … can you make pancakes? We could eat together like we …" Her voiced trailed off sadly.

"Okay, Dawnie. Let's go make breakfast."

The three of them were in the kitchen pouring, preparing, and plating their meal when Amy and Willow come in the back door. Noticing that Tara was uncomfortable seeing Willow with another girl, Buffy explained who she was – Amy, the rat. Then, Willow explained how she'd brought Amy back. This prompted Amy to ramble about their crazy night of magic – mostly about their time at the Bronze, but also a brief mention of Rack before she stopped herself. Uncomfortable again, Tara finally decided to leave, making an excuse about needing to be somewhere.

Trying to make the moment less awkward, Buffy and Dawn sat down at the counter to eat, acting like nothing unusual was going on. Buffy invited Amy to join them, but she said she needed to get home. Willow said she had lost her appetite, as she looked at the pancakes Tara had made. Instead of sitting down with the Summers sisters, she went up to bed.

[

For the remainder of day, everyone but Dawn and Willow gathered at the Magic Box to research "the frost monster." And discuss the situation with Willow. Neither of these situations was easily solvable.

Just before sunset, Buffy went back to the house to have dinner with Dawn. But the house was empty. There was a note from Willow that she and Amy had taken Dawn out with them. Buffy immediately headed for Spike's crypt to enlist his help.

[

Dawn had wanted to go to a movie and Willow agreed to take her, but when Amy showed up and suggested that they visit Rack again, Willow could not resist. She told Dawn it would just be a quick stop and they would get to the theater in plenty of time.

But it was not a quick stop.

By the time Amy and Willow returned to the waiting room, Dawn was angry and freaked out. They had come in Amy's car which was parked a couple blocks away. As Dawn watched the two older girls stagger down the sidewalk, she suggested that maybe they should call a cab. But Amy insisted she was fine and made Dawn get into the car.

Dawn should have listened to her instincts. Amy's driving was erratic. Sometimes, the car would drift over the white line; sometimes, Amy would steer the car into the center of the road and straddle the double yellow line, as if it would guide her to her destination.

Claiming that she knew a short cut, Amy took a turn off the main road, weaved her way through a maze of side streets, and turned under an overpass. Seconds later, she veered into one of the cement columns supporting the roadway above.

To Dawn, in that moment, the sound of the crash seemed to be far off in the distance. The force of the impact itself? Dawn felt that in every part of her body. Dazed and unable to move, she laid in the backseat trying to make sense of what she was feeling.

[

When Buffy and Spike left in search of Dawn, he asked if she had any idea of where to start looking. At first, Buffy said that she did not, but then realized that Amy had said something in the kitchen that might be a clue. When she mentioned Rack, Spike was immediately concerned, but at least he knew how to find the place, even though the location was cloaked.

They had just found the hot spot when they heard a crash a few blocks away. As they looked at one another, a bad feeling settled over both of them. Running in the direction of the sound, they tried not to think about what they might find.

Arriving at the scene of the car accident, Buffy saw Willow's red hair in the front passenger seat and assumed that Amy was behind the wheel. She could not see Dawn on the backseat until she was next to the car. As she opened the back door to get to her sister, Buffy instructed Spike to check on the other two. When Buffy felt Dawn's pulse, she breathed a sigh of relief. Willow moaned as Spike touched her wrist – she was injured, but alive. Amy had not been so lucky.

Buffy sent Spike to find a payphone to call 911. She sat in the back seat – stroking Dawn's hair, telling her that help was coming. Not long after Spike returned to the car, they could hear the sirens approaching their location.

The paramedics cleaned up Willow's cuts and attempted to persuade her to go to the ER, but she refused further treatment. As Buffy climbed into the back of an ambulance with Dawn, she asked Spike to take Willow to Giles' apartment and explain what happened.

One of the policemen had told Buffy that they would want to speak to Dawn in the next couple days. When the ambulance pulled away, the police were taking Willow's statement. As she recounted what had happened and watched as Amy was zipped into a body bag, the reality of the night's events began to sink in.

[

About an hour later, Spike arrived at the hospital and found Buffy in a waiting room. Dawn had been taken into surgery; a large piece of glass had to be removed from her abdomen. Apparently, Amy had glass jars in the backseat of her car – ingredients for an intended magic spell. The doctor had told Buffy that he was hopeful about the outcome and he would send someone to update her on Dawn's status.

A short while later, Xander and Anya showed up. When they mentioned that Giles had called to tell them, Buffy asked if anyone had called Tara.

Spike volunteered to take care of that while she talked to Xander. Returning from the payphone, he looked at Buffy as he walked down the long hallway toward the waiting area. He had seen this heaviness on her before, when her mother was in the hospital – the unmistakable sense of helplessness. He hated seeing the Slayer like this.

Moved by compassion, Spike knelt before her and held her hands. The tears she had been holding back poured out accompanied by heavy sobbing. When he put a hand on her arm, she scooted forward on the chair and wrapped herself around him. As he comforted her, he tried not the think about the fact that he was kneeling between her thighs.

After several minutes, she was able to stop crying enough to steady her breathing and say, "I'm sorry."

Brushing the hair away from her face, Spike said, "Nothing to apologize for, luv." He walked over to a nearby table to get a box of tissues.

When he handed the box to her, she said softly, "Thanks."

Xander was uncomfortable with the affection that had just been displayed, but chose not to say anything that might upset Buffy further. He just sat nearby, handing new magazines to Anya to keep her occupied.

Sitting down next to Buffy, Spike began to lightly rub her back. He felt her soften under his touch and she shifted position to allow him to massage her tension-filled muscles. Over these past months, he had developed a pattern to how he gave her backrubs. As he neared the end of that pattern, she was aware that he chose to continue, waiting for her to tell him when to stop.

After he revisited a few areas he had already covered, she leaned back against him. Resting her head on his shoulder, she whispered, "Thank you."

All the while, Xander kept an eye on Captain Peroxide – who he distrusted even more now that they knew his chip did not work on Buffy. The overly friendly friendliness was almost enough to make him dust Spike right here in the waiting room.

Several minutes later, Buffy was trying to find a more comfortable position and ended up lying down, stretched across a couple chairs. Her head was resting on Spike's lap and he periodically stroked her hair. He felt her breathing change when she fell asleep and was glad she was getting some much-needed rest.

His coat was draped over the back of the chair next to him. As he watched her sleep, he wished that he had thought to cover her up. Now, he would have to be extra careful to reach for the coat without waking her. It took him a few minutes, but he managed to do it without disturbing her.

He was aware of Xander and Anya watching him – studying his actions, obviously curious about his motivations. He was also aware that a couple women at the nurses station had been watching him with Buffy since he had gotten back from calling Tara.

Buffy began to wake up after about a half hour nap. She stood up, stretched, and walked around a little bit. Then, she sat back down next to Spike and leaned against him. When his arm came around her, she settled into his shoulder. They sat in silence until the doctor came to tell her how Dawn was doing.

"The operation went well. We were able to repair the damage, which was not as bad as it could have been. She'll need to stay here for at least a few days, but she should be fine. She's sleeping right now, but if you'd like, I can take you to see her. After that, I'd recommend going home and getting some rest before coming back to visit her later in the day."

Spike, Xander, and Anya waited in the hallway when Buffy went into Dawn's room. Surrounded by all the equipment, Dawn looked so young, small, and helpless. Buffy looked exhausted as she exited the room.

To Xander and Anya, she said, "Thanks, you guys, for coming. When I get back here later, I'll let you know if she's up to visitors. But it sounds like the pain meds are gonna make her pretty groggy for a while."

After they had left, she turned to Spike. "Thank you for … everything. I don't know what I would've … if you hadn't …"

He responded with a shrug as he put his arm around her to walk down the hall. But she shrugged out from under his arm, stepped in front of him, and with her hand on his chest, stopped him. "Don't do that!"

Giving her a quizzical look, he was about to ask "What?" However, she continued before he could ask.

"You're the one who said that I needed to learn to accept help." She paused, looking him in the eye. "I … I'm … acknowledging that I needed you here. The least you can do is graciously accept my thanks."

Leaning into her hand, which was still on his chest, he said sincerely, "You're welcome." Pulling her into a hug, he placed a kiss near her ear and whispered, "But I keep telling you, luv … whatever you need."

All of this had taken place in front of the nurses station. He wondered how many times these women had a front row seat to real-life drama.

[

The trip back to the house passed quickly. Buffy's mind was obviously somewhere else. Although they did not run into any trouble on the way home, Spike remained alert enough for the both of them.

As Buffy unlocked the door, Spike said, "Giles said you should give him a call in the morning – to tell him how Dawn is and also to talk about Willow."

She nodded in understanding, but her eyes were glazed. He leaned in to kiss her cheek and turned to go.

"Please stay," she said, pushing the door open and stepping over the threshold.

He reached out his hand toward the doorway and tapped on the invisible barrier. "You say 'stay' ... but the disinvite spell says 'stay out.'" He had been wondering how much time would pass before she invited him in again.

Tilting her head, she smiled and said, "Come in, Spike." After taking off her coat and placing her keys on the entry table, she walked into the living room and flopped on the couch.

Spike shut and locked the door. "Are you hungry?"

"Not really. My stomach is a bit queasy, but I should probably eat something."

He brought her a glass of water and some crackers, which he sat down on the coffee table. She had stretched out on the couch while he was in the kitchen. He lifted her feet up and placed them in his lap as he sat down.

As he started to massage her feet, she moaned and mumbled her appreciation. Before too long, she had fallen asleep. He carried her up to her room. Just as he covered her up and began to step away from her bed, she reached out for his arm. Again, she asked him to stay.

Holding her as she fell back to sleep, he thought of the night she had come back to life. She had asked him to stay with her that night too. But he had another memory of being in this bed – his time with future-Buffy. As his mind played video of them together, he wondered how long it would be until he heard her scream his name again. This and other thoughts kept him awake as he held Buffy and watched her sleep.

A/N:

Thanks for reading. As always, feedback welcome and greatly appreciated.

Chapter 20 should be up within a month – the rough draft is partially written.

Until next time …

~Jen

19 September 2017