That night left Ruby with very little sleep, and yet, she buzzed with excitement when she awoke with the dawn. The sun had just begun to shine a faint dusting over the horizon when she lit the fireplace and the stove. In truth, her mind was only partially aware of her actions while she fixated on her recent discovery.

She almost didn't notice Archie come into the main room until she heard him mumble an, "Oh, sorry". She turned around to see him with his back to her as he finished tucking his shirt into his pants before slipping his suspenders over his shoulders. Ruby had to bite back a smile, but she managed to compose herself by time he turned around.

"I, uh—I didn't think you'd be up yet," he murmured, offering her a small smile that made her chest flutter. "Did you sleep okay?"

"Oh, yes—th-thank you," Ruby replied, only slightly concerned that she was lying. No, Archie, I didn't sleep because I was thinking up a million different ways I could tell you I want to stay but none of them seemed right and then you come out here looking like that and I think my legs just turned to butter.

Instead, she just stared at him for a moment, her eyes lingering over his soft hair that she was dying to run her fingers through….

She jumped when he cleared his throat. "Um, Ruby? Is everything okay?" He took a step towards her, and Ruby froze, completely aware of his presence and unsure of what to do. "I can prepare breakfast if you want to rest for a bit longer."

Ruby giggled, inwardly cringing at herself. "Oh, no, I'm fine—it's fine. I'll make breakfast."

She turned slightly towards the stove but kept her eyes on him in an awkward half-smile. Ask me. Ask me what I know.

Archie simply frowned. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Umhmm." Darn it all, this was not what was supposed to happen. Ruby swallowed and turned her focus to the stove, grabbing the coffee pot and tin of coffee before scooping the grounds into the pot with more force than was necessary.

"Okay…" Archie said, stepping around her like she was a card short of a deck. He made his way to the door, shrugged on his coat, and put on his hat. "Oh, and just so you know, I was thinking I'd go get Flora from David's place and bring her home by the end of the week. Gold was generous enough to give me some feed, so we should be fine to have her back now."

"That's nice," Ruby said, her eyes fixed in front of her, completely unconcerned about the return of their cow or their milk supply.

"I'll… be back."

Ruby let out a sigh once the door clicked shut and she squeezed her eyes closed. "Jiminy Cricket!" she exclaimed to herself. She'd lived side-by-side with this man for months and now she chose to regress into a schoolgirl?

The words pulsed on her lips and beat against her teeth all the way through breakfast, but she couldn't say anything at the table—not in front of August. She waited for a moment when she was alone with Archie, but such a moment never came, and before she knew it, he was off outside with August, and Ruby was left with Peter as her only companion.

And, much as she loved her son, he was very little help in a situation like this.

Left alone to her thoughts, the gravity of the situation weighed on Ruby. She knew she only had to say the words to have Archie let her stay. But then they would go on living as they had been, in separate rooms, as little more than business partners in the same house.

That thought pained Ruby more than the thought of leaving, somehow, and she realized she was kneading the bread dough too roughly.

No, she didn't want to just continue as they were. She couldn't bare the thought of still being Archie's charity case—to owe so much to a man who, at best, held her in high esteem, and at worst, felt an obligation to her to which he was bound forever.

The part that terrified her the most was how unsure she was about what he wanted. A couple of months ago, maybe, she would have bet that he felt more. She thought she had seen affection in his clear eyes… with the occasional flash of desire.

Now? Now, he seemed to avoid any unnecessary physical contact. What if he'd changed his mind? What if he'd never felt anything for her at all?

Those fears gnawed at Ruby's core and bolted her mouth shut so that she couldn't bring herself to say anything when the chance finally arose that night after August had gone to bed. The hearth crackled and Archie sat a couple of feet away from her, but still, her heart pounded in her ribcage and she couldn't dare speak the words that threatened to confirm her fears.

Do you want me to stay?

Another day of this torturous cycle made Ruby decide on a slightly different course of action—a letter. Surely that would be an easier way to explain herself? Or, at the very least, it would save her from being rejected in person.

Yes, a letter would be best. She bounced her foot as she continued her sewing, the methodical movement of the needle passing through the thread slightly hypnotic as she finished the hem of the curtains for Dr. Whale's new office. She had decided against the use of the machine in favour of the cozy atmosphere she gained by doing it by hand. She could barely focus, however, and more than once she came close to spilling a drop of blood on the fabric as a prick to her finger almost betrayed how her mind wandered.

"Is everything okay?" Archie asked when Ruby's finger flew to her mouth a second time in the span of a few minutes.

"Of course," Ruby said quickly, her voice a little too cheerful. She dropped her eyes to her work and only dared to glance over at him after a few moments had passed. The longing in her chest only grew as her gaze lingered on this man who'd so quietly captured her heart, his kind, clear eyes focused on the books before him. It baffled Ruby that they could continue on in their usual way when, as far as she was concerned, everything had changed.

After they bid each other good-night, Ruby realized she couldn't wait any longer to write out her thoughts to Archie, and so, under the lamplight, huddled in her bedroom, she wrote out a simple question in as tidy a hand as she could manage on the small bedside table.

Dear Archie,

I don't want to go. This is my home. You are my home.

Ask me to stay.

Yours,

Ruby

Ruby's hands trembled as she blew on the ink and carefully folded the note closed once it was dry. She tucked it under her pillow for safe keeping, her mind running through all the ways she might leave it for him to discover the next day.

An opportunity quickly presented itself when Archie announced that he would make the trip to the Nolans' to bring Flora back home. August pleaded with his pa to join him, but Archie insisted that it would be a short trip, and that the boy needed to stay and help with the chores at home.

Ruby watched Archie ride off on Cleo, holding her breath until he was finally out of view from the glass window. With August safely outside feeding the chickens, she spun around on her heel and rushed to her bedroom, pulling the letter out from beneath her pillow. With a bounce to her step and her pulse already racing, she snuck into Archie's corner. She scanned the area, wondering where to leave her message until her eyes rested on the Bible on his pillow. She smiled to herself and tucked the note inside, trying not to imagine him opening it the next morning to a—hopefully very welcomed—surprise.

The sound of the front door shutting brought Ruby back from her daydream, and she scrambled out from the curtain to be met with a frown by a very confused nine-year-old.

"What are you doing back there?" he asked.

Ruby chuckled nervously. "It's, um, it's laundry day. And I need you to start bringing in the pails of water for the stove, please." She relaxed when that seemed to satisfy him and he headed back outside.

Though there was much to do, Ruby found her thoughts wandered as her hands kept busy. The hours dragged, and even Archie's short trip to their neighbours' seemed agonizingly long. Ruby shook her head at herself as she strained to hear the sound of dirt and gravel under hooves. He wouldn't likely find her note until the next day, anyway.

She had to keep reminding herself of that fact throughout the rest of the day after Archie's return and into the evening, though she couldn't resist sneaking glances at him on the chance that he had found it. Then again, such a discovery would warrant a larger reaction than his usual smiles, much as they set her heart fluttering in her chest.

Ruby tried not to be disappointed when the evening ended in the same fashion as the rest, and she tried to keep her "good night" calm, not daring to betray the anticipation of what the morning might bring. She didn't feel very composed, but at the very least, Archie seemed none the wiser.

The next morning, Ruby was up and preparing breakfast earlier than normal again, so she was there to greet Archie when he emerged from his "room". Her heart stilled in her chest and her breath caught in her throat when she turned to meet his gaze, and for a moment, she was sure time itself stood still.

Ask me, Archie.

Then, her heart sank when all she received was his usual warm smile with his "good morning" murmured in his husky morning voice that usually sent shivers through her.

Nothing.

Ruby turned away to face the stove, blinking back tears that pricked her eyes. She shouldn't jump to conclusions.

"Is—is everything set for today?" she asked, her voice small.

"I think so," he replied, coming up beside her and reaching for a mug and the coffee pot. Ruby fought to keep her focus on the bacon frying in front of her rather than his presence mere inches from her skin. If she just leaned over, if she just reached at this exact moment, her arm would brush his.

"You're ready to come to town with us?" he asked.

"Hmm?" Ruby asked, shaking her head. "Oh, yes. Of course. It will be exciting to put the curtains up." The last touch to the doctor's lodgings.

Archie murmured his agreement as he poured his coffee before placing the pot back on the stove. He stepped away, and Ruby felt the cold emptiness beside her as he took his place at the table.

She moved the frying pan off the heat and grabbed a mug for herself, pouring her own coffee and sitting with Archie. She licked her lips, her mouth dry and her mind racing to comprehend what Archie wasn't saying out loud.

The silence hung thick in the air until Archie finally spoke. "I guess—I guess this is the time to be buying the tickets for you and Peter."

Ruby froze, her stomach cold as ice. She turned away and closed her eyes, fighting with all her might to keep the tears at bay.

She had her answer.

"Of—of course." No. No! Please don't send me away.

"It's already June, and the next train leaves in about a week." He sounded so calm, which only seemed to bring on more tears. "It's… we're cutting it close."

She'd miss August's birthday.

"Th-that's what we agreed on," Ruby replied, her voice almost cracking. She took a deep breath and turned to face him, though she kept her gaze lowered on his hands around his coffee cup.

Ruby wasn't sure what happened for the rest of the day. Somehow, she managed to keep herself collected—managed to serve Archie and August their breakfasts before hiding away with the baby in the bedroom for his feeding. Her limbs felt heavy and her stomach felt sick as she sat on the wagon bench for the ride into town, her arms tight around Peter with August seated in between her and Archie. She didn't notice the warm breeze dancing across her cheeks, ripe with the promise of summer. She didn't notice the little doctor's office and apartment, complete with their furnishings and now made homey with her curtains put up by Archie's hand. She just managed to purchase a pen for August—a task which, under normal circumstances, would usually make her giddy with anticipation, but now only made tears prick her eyes. She only barely saw Archie come back to the wagon with two tickets safely tucked in his coat pocket.

All Ruby saw was the little kitchen garden when they arrived home, with one side of the white picket fence still blackened from where the fire had brushed up against its border. Bright green shoots sprouted from the earth in tidy rows, with some of the plants recognizable in smaller versions of what their full-grown selves would become.

Ruby had to run inside to hide the tears that she could no longer keep from spilling down her cheeks.

Though Archie knew this time had been coming, he still wasn't prepared for the ache in his heart when June rolled around. In a strange way, he'd almost been grateful for the barn fire and the chance to bring the community together—more than a distraction, he'd wondered if it might change Ruby's mind about leaving.

He didn't really let himself hope, though—not now. He'd almost dared to a few weeks ago when he was convinced that there was something between them—a hint of a spark when they were near. There was an easiness between them, and a sincerity to her smile that he'd never seen before. He cherished their time together—he loved talking with her—and he revelled in the excuse to be close to her when they were planning the doctor's quarters, or her small garden. They would lean over the table, her soft hair a breath away from his cheek and he'd have to stop himself from breathing in her sweet scent.

He'd almost dared as much on the day they planted the little garden, when he'd glimpsed her at her most carefree. He chased after her, spurred on by her squeals, and for a moment he could almost pretend that they were husband and wife. The feel of her in his arms was burned into his memory—the weight of her slight frame atop him, pressing into him with every breath, her lips a whisper away from his. He would have given anything to press his mouth to hers in a tender kiss, but, as if she could sense his intentions, she spooked. The wall was up between them once more, keeping things polite and tidy and proper.

It was more than he could bare.

He made sure to be more careful from then on—made sure to give her her space, not to overstep boundaries. She seemed to relax around him again, which made him relax in turn. He loved when her bright smile returned, no longer hesitant. He loved her melodic laugh ringing out through the cabin. He loved her green eyes that danced with mirth and swam with such feeling he thought he could drown in her gaze.

He loved her so much that his whole being ached with what could never be.

That was exactly why he couldn't say anything. He couldn't force her to stay with him, whatever the law said. She'd made it clear that she was going home, and he had no right to ask any more of her. He wished for it with all his might, but he could never force his own desires on her.

As the time of the next wagon train approached, Archie noticed Ruby acting strangely. Perhaps she was just nervous about the months that lay ahead of her, especially travelling with the baby—a prospect that made Archie hate these plans all the more. The infant with dark hair and dark eyes to match grew bigger every week, and Archie felt sick at the thought of never seeing the boy again. He couldn't imagine his and August's lives without Ruby and Peter, and there was no use in pretending that he saw Peter as anything less than his own son.

The weight on Archie's chest grew heavier and heavier with each passing day.

One day, David Nolan had asked for Archie's help in mending some fences, and Archie asked Ruby if she would like to come, hoping it would make for a nice final visit with Mary Margaret.

"I should probably stay here and pack," was her only answer.

Archie nodded and swallowed the lump in his throat, unable to say more. He wished he hadn't promised to help David that week, but it was too late to back out, and it was clear Ruby wanted her space. Still, Archie was not looking forward to an afternoon spent with the Nolans and their questions—or worse, their silent sympathy.

The day dragged on, and Archie found he couldn't quite keep himself focused on his task with David. "Sorry?" he had to say multiple times, realizing he hadn't caught part of what his friend was saying. It only earned him pained looks of understanding, which somehow made him feel worse.

At least August was able to have a fun day with Emma. The two played with the new litter of kittens, which had August begging his pa to keep one as they drove back home.

"We'll see," Archie chuckled sadly. "They're too small to leave their mama just yet, anyway."

"Okay, but when they're bigger? Can't I please have one? It's almost my birthday."

Archie swallowed the lump that rose in his throat. "Yes, it is."

He kept Cleo's pace slow as they made their way in the direction of home. Archie took a deep breath before he continued, wishing that the next topic wasn't necessary.

"August, do you remember when Miss Ruby came to live with us?" he began, trying to choose his words carefully.

"Yeah," August replied.

Archie bit his lip to stop himself from correcting his son's grammar. "Well, she was only here to stay for the winter. She's stayed with us a bit longer, because of the baby, and then the barn fire…" he trailed off, keeping his eyes fixed straight ahead.

"But she's leaving on Saturday, isn't she?"

Archie started and turned to his son. He should have realized that he would have picked up on everything.

"Yes," he said, his voice cracking.

"But can't she stay for my birthday?" the boy asked quietly, meeting Archie's gaze, and Archie felt tears prick at his eyes and his nose begin to sing.

"Oh, Son, I wish she could, but she has to leave when the wagons leave," Archie said, putting his arm around August as the boy scooted closer. "But we'll have a birthday dinner before then, okay?"

"Okay," August mumbled.

They rode in silence for a few moments as the homestead came into view.

"Pa?" August asked quietly.

"Yes, Son?"

"Does she have to go?"

Archie squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath before he answered, willing his heart not to break in two.

"I'm afraid so."