Prince of Heart- Hey there.

So I've been busy lately, so haven't found time to write, but that should be fixed now. A couple of things that consumed last week. For one, I had my schools formal, which is the Australian prom so you know, and I went to a party afterwards and drank quite a bit, so that was Wednesday and Thursday gone. It was fun, the usual myriad of teen drama that I may or may not have caused a little amongst my friends. Here's a clue; think of how a Prince of Heart could fuck shit up among his friends.

Then I had my graduation on Friday, so High School's finished. Onto Tertiary next year, I suppose. So here's a chapter now, at least.

Eridan jerked his body around, frustrated by all the delusions that came from the dream bubble shenanigans, and gazed up into the endless yonder of space. He scowled almost as if he were still acting out the memory, and attempted to scare whatever was maintaining the bubble. But alas, nothing came back from the abyss, and he turned back around to find the roof completely empty of his former kismesis, as well as the memory of his current kismesis. He sighed, frustrated, and thought about what he'd do next. He decided to just retrace his steps, maybe something new would happen should he go back to the computer room? Maybe he was finally dead and this was him coming to terms with it, but he didn't hold his hopes for that.

So he sighed again, turned around and walked back towards the door. Once he'd reached it, he barged through the thing with all his seven and a half sweeps might, and the door flew open to reveal the metal staircase gone in favour of a large, sprawling Alternian neighbourhood. Not one Eridan was familiar with though; instead, it was what appeared to be a series of slums meant for the poorer Alternians. He looked up at the series of skyscrapers, all grey and lifeless, packed together like sardines and only differentiated by their jagged design, typical of troll children building their houses. Behind him sat a similar sight, as well as up and down the lifeless street.

He stood in front of the building for a second, assessing his situation and location, before he heard a soft grunting coming from around the corner. Eridan followed the sound and rounded the corner, to see a familiar blue dress adorned on a curvy body struggling to push a large wooden stall reading 'Exposition: 5 8oon8ucks.'

Eridan approached her and asked, "ara?"

The girls seemed shocked at his appearance, apparently not have seen him as he walked up. "Oh!" she huffed. "Eridan! I thought you would never enter the dream 8u88le."

"wwell im not one to disappoint. a lot at least." He said the last line with significant hesitance.

Aranea leaned up against the booth nonchalantly with her shoulder, folding her arms in front of her. "Well, consider me still proud of allllllll your efforts to please. It's not like you could disappoint me any worse than a certain other violent fish troll, she just seems so uninterested in me lately. I set up this cool exposition 8ooth, and it still took a few measly 8oon8ucks to get her to listen to me." Aranea unfolded one arm and squished her face against the palm of her hand. "I mean, it might've 8een 8etter if I gave her some exposition a8out people other than our friends, 8ut I've already got all this dialogue typed up!"

"the fuck is exposition?" Eridan asked, pacing up to the booth and tracing the sign with his fingers.

"Oh! Like, information. Lore."

"wwait. lore?" Eridan looked over at her eagerly. "like lore about me as wwhoevver the fucks ancestor?"

Aranea smile knowingly. "Why yes Eridan, why do you ask?"

"i wwant to knoww howw badass i wwas in your wworld!"

"Well, I can most certainly accommodate!" Aranea left her position and walked behind the booth. She leaned under the booth, and pulled out a little folded card titled 'The Sylph Is In' and placed it in front of her on the booth. "So my finned Prince, would you care to hear the story of Eridan Ampora, also known as 'the Kingdom Demolisher."

Eridan's eyes lit up with excitement, and he smiled widely. "you better fuckin believve it ara! wwhat is it? fivve boonbucks?"

"Well I-"

She was interrupted when Eridan pulled a wad of boonbucks from his striped pants and threw it into the Sylphs' face.

"Oh, well that was unnecessary, 8ut thanks! I'm guessing you must've gotten a lot of money from your session?"

"oh fuck no the angels didnt givve me shit for killin them. i got a lot of bucks wwhen i demolished that loww blooded scum in a fight and killed his significantly less despicable matesprit."

Aranea lost her smile, and a really worried look came upon her. "Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh god damn it no! You need to run and hide! Now!"

"wwhat? the guy wwas wway more scummy than you could evver think about trust me."

"No, you should never say that in the dream 8u88les."

"wwhats the wworst that could happen?"

"You think your Vantas is 8ad when it comes to lectures? Our Vantas will trump that guy any day of the week! So please just leave 8efore it's too late!"

"no! howwevver bad this douche is im sure i can handle him. and if wworst comes to wworst i could just knock him out an-"

A loud whistle blocked out his statement, causing Eridan to recoil from the sudden noise in pain, as it had sounded right next to his ear. He flew to the side in one motion, clutching his left ear, and glared at the source of the whistle. The source revealed itself to be a Karkat looking fellow, similar in weight and height to the Knight, but instead wore a pair of denim jeans with an obnoxiously bright candy red sweater.

The boy dropped the whistle from his mouth, letting the silver thing fall down over his sweater. "I came as quickly as I c9uld!"

Aranea groaned and laid her face down on the booth. "Hello Kankri," she mumbled.

"Yes, hell9 Aranea. And hell9 t9 y9u t99, Cr9nus l99king fell9w. Wait, d9 y9u mind 6eing called 'Cr9nus l99king fell9w?' I am very s9rry if I seem to 6e generalizing, it was n9t my intenti9n." The boy, Kankri, turned to Aranea. "Why did y9u n9t tell me his trigger was 6eing likened t6 Cr9nus?"

"It's not," Aranea muffled again with her head still on the booth, "He never said he was offended Kankri."

"He didn't? Huh, I must have misheard. I ap9l9gise my sea faring friend, I have 6een 6usy l99king f9r my dancest9r, 6ut this matter takes the utm9st imp9rtance. I heard 9ne 9f y9u say s9mething very p9tentially 9ffensive to the lesser bl99ded pe9ple in 9ur gr9up, and I ran as fast as I c9uld."

"you ran here?" Eridan asked, astonished at the surprising athletic prowess of the Troll.

Aranea raised her head from the booth. "Do you realize how hypocritical you sounded when you referred to low 8looded people as 'lesser 8looded?'"

"Please Aranea, y9ur 9pini9n is insignificant c9mpared to the greater plight 9f s9cial justice!"

Aranea rolled her eyes and let her head fall onto the booth with a bang, her short hair falling around her. "Whatever."

"S9 I assume y9u were the 9ne t9 make that 9utrage9us statement?"

"yeah so wwhat?"

"Well, d9 y9u realise h9w 9ffensive 9f a statement that was? Lesser 6l99ded tr9lls like Mituna, Rufi9, 9r G9d f9rbid, Damara, might take 9ffense t9wards y9ur a6leist statements and then that w9uld be an9ther can 9f w9rms n9ne 9f us w9uld care t9 9pen."

"wwhat the fuck are you talkin about? i dont care! wwhat the evverlovvin fuck is an ableist anywway?"

Aranea made a concerned gasp, muffled from her position on the booth. "You've done it now, Eridan."

"I am s9 glad y9u asked!" He pulled a small piece of paper from his back pocket, and kept unfolding it until it made a large list about half the size of Eridan. "This is a list of a6leist w9rds and terms f9r future reference purp9ses. S9me of the entries are slurs, s9me are descripti9ns of disa6led pe9ple, s9me are slang that derive fr9m a6leist 9rigins, and s9me are c9mm9n metaph9rs that rely 9n disa6ility and a6leism. This is a living d9cument, c9nstantly gr9wing, expanding, and changing. If I've missed s9mething, please let me kn9w!"

Eridan leaned over to Aranea. "wwhat is he on about? wwhy is there a list?"

"You 8rought this on yourself Eridan, I'm going to try and tune him out. You should too." She reached up and lightly patted Eridan's head sympathetically.

"9ne imp9rtant n9te: Many pe9ple wh9 identify with particular disa6ilities 9r disa6ility in general may use descript9rs fr9m this list in an act 9f reclaiming the language. Y9u may well t99! BUT if y9u d9 n9t identify with a particular disa6ility/disa6led identity, it's pr96a6ly appr9priative t9 use s9me 9f th9se terms. After the list 9f a6leist w9rds and terms, I have included lists 9f alternatives t9 a6leist slurs, descripti9ns, and metaph9rs, if y9u're interested in unlearning the patterns 9f linguistic a6leism in y9ur 9wn language. I am a6out t9 list just a few terms, s9 feel free t9 speak up if y9u find 9ne that refers t9 y9u: 6lind to 6lank slash turn a 6lind eye t9 6lank slash 6linded by ign9rance, 6ig9try, etc. This refers to 6lind, l9w-visi9n, 9r sight-limited pe9ple. 6ound t9 a wheelchair 6lah 6lah 6lah 6lah 6lah 6lah 6lah…"

Eridan stared on, mouth agape in shock at the boys ability to just keep talking. He grabbed onto Aranea's hand, and the girl instinctively intertwined hers with his. She gazed up at the desperate Prince, and he looked at her with pleading eyes.

"do somethin. im gonna bloww my damn brains out if i keep listenin to his drivvel." Aranea raised an eyebrow at him. "pleeeeeeeease ara?"

She chuckled, "Only since you said that with eight e's." She turned to face Kankri. "Hey Kankri!"

Kankri pulled himself out of his rant. "What is it Aranea, I'm in the middle 9f s9mething imp9rtant."

"Porrim just messaged me saying that Horuss is making fun of her for 8eing a Jade 8lood, aaaaaaaand she keeps calling him a disgusting 8looded pig!"

Kankri gasped, "They are?!" He grabbed his whistle from his chest. "N9t 9n my watch, I've g9t t9 sh9w H9russ h9w t9 6e a m9re c9nsiderate pers9n; and P9rrim that she needs t9 take her Jade 6l99ded duties seri9usly! Thanks Aranea!"

And with that, he sprinted downtown, his whistle screeching. Eridan sighed, relieved, and realised he was still holding Araneas hand. He cupped the other around as well, and looked directly in her eyes.

"thank you. i mean jegus fuckin christ i wwas about to throww myself off a cliff."

"You could've just apologised," Aranea replied matter-of-factly, unclasping his hands.

"i didnt feel like apologisin."

"Do you ever?"

"ivve apologised before. to kar and kan."

"Did you?"

"i… i thought i did. howw about wwe dont talk about this huh?"

"Right. Now, how a8out that story?"

Eridan's eyes widened. "please do!"

"Alright then, this is the story of one of the most fearsome conquerors on 8eforan, Eridan Ampora; the Kingdom Demolisher."