dizcliamer- i iz not jk rowling. ujreqbfroerqirfoqi
sanpe wuz nown 4 hiz xtremely large male genetals. he wanted to fuck evry girl at snogwarts skool. sumtimes he wuld fuck 1st yers and he wuld fuck Dumblewhore. "oh YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" dumblewhore screamed.
so when he saw scarlet his male genetals got rlly hard. " "thrity points to slyferin for attackin anothr student." he sed hiding a stiffy. draco malfoy was bout to steel hiz prise. HOW DARE HE! he wanted sacrlet to himself and he wuld do anything. but he always had to give points 2 slytherin. evry1 hated slytherin.
i looked up at ze professor, "why do you hav a boner?" She asked, "ur so ugly that if you weren't a virgin evry1 wuld die from shock."
sanpe cried and ran away screaming "lily this gurl is a beeeeyottchhhhhhhhhh. cum back lily. i want to stick penis in ur vagina and in ur butthole."
tehn he fell down, unconciociocious.
i and draco now were lookin at each other, sittin at teh slytherin table, barley stiffin an laugh. "u need a namenick draco. wat about ping-pong." i asked
"nah. to muggle." draco complianed.
"wat about tom." i lauhged.
"to simple." draco whined.
"wat about qwertyuiop" i giggled.
"wat teh hell iz that." draco asked
"no idea" i repleid.
"then no." draco sed, anoyed.
"wat about weazle?" i joked
"eye like it!" draco exclaimed
"okay weazle. now im gonna hav a namenick too!" i spok
"what about scar?" draco sed siriusly.
"YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I LOVE IT!" i excliamed
i looked up into the eyes of dumblewhore and he asked "hav sex wit me scarlet."
"no dumblewhore. go fuck hermoooooone, ze cow." i sed, rollin my eyez. dumblewhore tried to do thiz evry day but today i had secret nowledge that meant he culdnt bother me anymore.
"but all she doez is moooooooooooo." dumblewhore complianed.
"go away. im a unicron and im pure and i dont have sex with old gay men." i retorted
"how did u know i wuz gay." dumblewhore asked.
"i see ze way u look at sanpe and i walked in on u having six with gilderoyyyyyyyyyyy cockharttttttttttttt. aka the hore. besides i wanna fuck depressus." i replied
"who iz depressus." dumblewhore asked
"blaze zamboni" i replied.
dumblewhore ran away crying and draco and i were luaghing. hermooooone was sittin at ze gryffndr table were she let out a loud mooooooo. i and weazle broke into luaghter and depressus came into ze grate hall with black circle under his eyez. "whaz wrong depressus. u look tired. did u sleep okay?" i asked
depressus replied "no. i kept on thinkin about how hot u were and how i wanted u to be mine 4evah."
"what's keepin us apart?" i aked
"im secretly gay." depressus cried
i wanted to slap him. the love of my life wuz gay! that means he would hav 2 join ze gay house, gaygaygay. dumblewhore was in it wehn he wuz at snogworts and ze sortin hat culd tell if u were gay or not. i slapped depressus and he cried out in pain.
"ow! watcha do zat for?" he complianed.
"u r not gay depressus. or u wuld be a member of gaygaygay." i retarted.
"but ron weasel sed i wuz." depressus cried.
"tonight we get the weasel." i laughed, evillly.
"me?" weazle asked.
"oh i forgot that ur namenick is weazle. also u can com wit uz az well." i replied
"yay." he sed
AN: did u liek it. i luved writing it.