Prince of Heart- Oh Cronus, how your douchey-ness cancels out your handsomeness. Such an unfortunate occurrence.

"wwhat?!" Eridan exclaimed, pausing the story at hand and bringing the group of four back to reality. "argh you gotta be kiddin me! evven in these awwesome stories about me that fuckin girl alwways manages to wax red HOT for me."

"oh, vwell thats a long shot from reality, huh?" Cronus pointed out, leaning his head on his hand.

Eridan banged his fists on the table, pushing his chair out and standing up. "wwhat is that supposed to mean you fuckin bulge munchin phony?"

Cronus waved his hand casually. "it means you cant hold a relationship babe."

"at least ivve fuckin had one."

"fuck you, iwve had a caliginous fling once."

Aranea raised an eyebrow, leaning forward and asking, "What? With who? None of us have heard of this alleged fling."

"yeah, vwith damara."

Aranea scoffed, and burst out laughing. "Oh honey, everyone's 8een with Damara. It doesn't particularly count."

Cronus narrowed his eyes, scowling at the Sylph. "hawve YOU been vwith damara?"

"Everyone doesn't exempt me, Cronus. If anyone hasn't 8een with Damara, I'd 8e surprised."

Rufio coughed, alerting his presence to everyone. "could we maybe… not have th1s conversation? th1s 1s just some… crazy sh*t."

"oh, im sorry rufio," Cronus said sarcastically, "is talking about the babe you cheated on vwith a guy vwith a vweird hoofbeast fetish a sore subject?"

Eridan gasped, a smile on his face. "oh my god you fuckin wwhat?"

Cronus looked back at Eridan, a smile forming at the corners of his mouth. "yeah, this fucking guy cheated on Megido with Zahhak, the actual madtroll!"

Eridan cracked up with laughter. "holy shit youre fuckin insane."

"not only that," Cronus continued, leaning in, "but he vwants to break up vwith him, and cant muster up the courage to actually fucking do it!"

Rufio rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably, an obviously forced smile on his face. "yeah… thats a… th1ng that needs to happen somet1me."

"Guys, come on now," Aranea pleaded, crossing her arms. "He'll get to it when he gets to it, 8reaking up with people a way in which their feelings aren't hurt is a delicate procedure neither of you would know a8out."

"vwoah there babe, no need for those insults. cmon, i thought you vwere better than that."

Aranea slightly widened her eyes. "Oh, I didn't actually mean it that way!"

Cronus chuckled, and leaned back on his chair casually. "vwell, novw my feelings are hurt. i think i might need something to make up for that, hmm?"

Aranea rolled her eyes. "Well, may8e you can go relive the memory of getting one of those 'not safe for work' pictures from Leijon and make yourself quite happy, hmm?"

Cronus jumped up and pointed angrily at Aranea. "hovw the FUCK do you knovw about that?"

Aranea uncrossed her arms, and she tapped her head. "Mind powers, Cronus. You seem to forget how suscepti8le you are to a 8asic mind reading."

"argh, this vwas alvways your problem serket! if you vwerent boring as shit, you vwould inwvade our priwvacy."

"Oh come on now Cronus, I think it's nice that you and Meulin are-"

"fuck. you. no vwonder meenah ran off vwith your ancestor, she had to deal vwith your nosy nook."

Aranea looked away from Cronus' eye, the corners of her mouth forming a small frown. "The two are going off and fulfilling Meenah's dream of 8uilding an army to take on Lord English."

"exactly, building an army VWITHOUT YOU. vwhat do you think that could mean, the tvwo of them building an army together? they hawve a shit ton more in common than she has vwith you."

Aranea blushed cerulean, maintaining her stare at the floor. "I was 8usy anyway. I'll join them some time later."

"oh, vwell vwhat a fucking coincidence, huh? vwhatever you say babe, im going somevwhere else vwhere i VWONT hawve my secrets exposed or listen to a story iwve already heard a hundred times. try not to scream too loud vwhen you vwalk in on peixes and cooler you sleeping together."

He gave the group a wave and spitefully stomped out of the room, slamming the small wooden door as he left. Aranea continued looking at the ground, Rufio shuffled around uncomfortably, and Eridan stared at the door with a stunned look.

"man, wwhy do people alwways equate sleepin in a bed together to be the pinnacle of cheatin? like id think makin out wwith someone wwould be much more insultin."

"um, dude… 1 dont th1nk you actually real1se what sleep1ng w1th someone 1s?"

"of course i do wwhat type of self respectin troll wwould i be if i didnt?"

"yeah i… dont really want to expla1n 1nnuendos… thanks."

Eridan narrowed his eyes at the Rogue. "wwhy wwhat does it mean? are you keepin shit from me rust blood?"

Rufio chuckled nervously, "no… ha ha… 1 was just…" He quickly glanced over at Aranea, who was still staring intently at the floor. "so doll… you go1ng to cont1nue the story or what?"

Aranea slowly looked up at the uncomfortable Rufio with a blank stare, then pulled her gaze to the Prince. Eridan gave her a smile and said, "yeah i wwant to hear the rest as wwell. but as soon as thats ovver im gonna get to the bottom of what 'sleep1ng w1th someone' actually means. and if its somethin slanderous about me its your ass loww blood."

Aranea giggled, flattered by the Princes determination for a story. "If you insist. You know Eridan, it may not seem it, 8ut you're really flattering me 8y spending all this time listening to my version of the story. You realise anyone could give you the cliff notes version? Meenah particularly admired you as an ancestor, for o8vious reasons."

Eridan shrugged. "i just prefer to hear about myself wwith all the gory details intact. plus your vvoice is really soothin to hear like vvris but also less loud and obnoxious."

Aranea leaned back in her chair. "Well I do pride myself on those traits, thank you. You certainly flatter me once again."

"yeah doll… were almost at the best part as well," Rufio added.

Aranea glanced between the two of them, and sighed contently, "Alright then, I guess we'll pick this up where we left off. So, our protagonists had just raised their army, and now go off to retake their first town of many…"