Cisco Ramon held the shoulders of his best friend, who was hurled over attempting to catch his breath. He was two seconds away from wrinkling his tux, and having to fork over 2000 dollars to the shop he rented it from, and God knows he'd already spent enough to make this wedding absolutely everything his wife-to-be, Patty wanted.

"Calm down man."

"Can't," he heaved. "Getting…getting….MARRIED."

Cisco chuckled. "Yeah, to a beautiful woman who loves you. No reason to freak."

A few nerves were healthy, but overall, this sheer display of fear confused Cisco. His thoughts drifted to Gypsy, who he'd been dating for the better part of three years, and how he couldn't wait until the day when he would be able to call her his wife.

Barry hadn't known Patty nearly as long. They'd gone from dating to engaged in eight months, and now, four months later, they were getting married. But he knew what two people in love looked like, and Barry and Patty had every bit of that goofy, star struck thing in their eyes whenever they looked at each other.

Barry should have been ecstatic, unless, of course. Cisco pursed his lips, trying to push down the thought that was making its way to the forefront of his mind, but, much to Cisco's detriment, his mouth moved much faster than his brain.

"Is this, is this about Something else? Someone else?"

Barry rose, the implication in Cisco's voice clear as day. He pushed out a deep breath, and took in another. But nothing he did alleviated the feeling that a giant gorilla was playing ping pongs with his lungs.

"Cisco…" He spit out, frustrated. It was a warning, however ill delivered. He brought a heavy hand to his chest, and tried to apply the breathing technique he'd learned from his therapist, Dr. Finkel. Barry pictured himself skipping over soft grass in wide open fields as the sun's rays beat down on him, fresh air filling his lungs. He had to repeat it several times, but slowly but surely, he felt his airways open up. "Don't," Barry said, after he'd finally taken one clear breath. "I mean it."

Cisco's hands shot up in defense. He tried to think of a witty comeback, but a knock at the door of Barry's dressing room stopped him. He flashed Barry a wry smile and walked himself backwards towards the door. No point in upsetting his best friend on his wedding day.

"Who is it?" He asked, unable to reach the peephole.

"An old friend."

Cisco's breath hitched, he knew that voice anywhere. In the off chance that he was wrong, he looked back to Barry, who looked like a deer caught in the headlight, but then, instincts kicking in, he immediately slapped spit covered hands through his already slicked down hair, and straightened his tux, just as he did his posture as well. A moment later, Barry was the image of confidence, no sign of the air-deprived man he'd just tried to talk off of the ledge. Cisco rolled his eyes.

Yep, it was her. It was Iris.

"Oh God," Cisco thought to himself, a pained grimace spread out over his face, as he pivoted away from Barry, towards the door. He opened the door, and there stood his former friend —Barry's former everything.

"Cisco," she said, warmly with outstretched arms.

"Iris," he said, walking into her embrace. "It's been a long time, huh?"

She huffed, softly. "Yeah."

"Well you haven't aged a day."

"God, I hope not," she said smoothing her hand down her clothes. "It hasn't been that long. 18 months or so, I'd guess.

"I know, but that's what old friends in movies say when they reunite, after time has passed. I mean, we are friends, right? Cause I've gotten all of two texts from you in the last 12 months."

Iris chuckled softly, and cocked her head to the side. "Of course we are, Cisco." She pouted when he glared at her. "I've just been busy. I'm sorry."

Cisco nodded, gingerly. "Okay, but if you go too long without checking in, I may just breach into your living room one of these days."

Iris laughed. "Fine. But I'm not responsible for whatever you end up breaching in on."

Cisco chuckled nervously, knowing that the mental images were taking over Barry's brain. Because he didn't need her prompting for them too.

"Anyway," Iris said, changing the subject. "I came to visit the groom. You gonna let me in?" She looked past the dark-haired man, to Barry, who through Cisco couldn't see, he just knew had his eyes locked in on Iris.

"Yeah." Cisco leaned towards Iris, tone low. "But he's two steps away from having a breakdown. So. You've been warned."

"Okay."

Cisco shot Barry one last look, then slipped past Iris, out of the room to give them a bit of privacy, and so that he wouldn't' get caught in any crossfire.

"So, you gonna stand there, or are you gonna greet a girl?"

Iris ran her hands down her two-piece satin, floral outfit. The base of it was champagne, and it was covered in blue and pink flowers, but the star of the outfit was definitely her smile, edging out the kindness in her eyes by only a hair.

His legs started moving before his brain registered her request, which made him stagger towards him with a head that had to catch up. She covered her hand over her mouth to cover her chuckling, and he could feel the blood rising to his cheeks.

Standing face to face with her, he leaned down and pulled her into a hug. It had been almost two years since he'd seen Iris in the flesh. Four years since she'd moved to Keystone after Marrying Scott, a big shot editor. Four years since their friendship, as he'd known it for most of his life, changed forever. Four years since he'd lost the love of his life.

It was odd that his wedding to Patty Spivot was the event that had finally brought Iris back to Central City. Not even Joe West had been able to wrangle her back in to the place she'd called home for 26 years, prior to leaving.

After he and Patty became engaged, Barry had gone back and forth over whether to send Iris an invitation. In the off chance she cared, he didn't want to hurt her feelings by not inviting her—especially if Joe and Cecile were going to be there, and posting photos to their Facebook accounts, where she could see the. Eventually, he figured that she probably wouldn't show up anyway, so sending her one would put him in the clear. When she RSVP'd a week or so later, he didn't know what to think. And now she was standing in front of him, while he was less than an hour away of marrying Patty, the one woman he could say he'd truly loved in his lifetime—besides, her, of course.

Iris blinked away the deafening silence. "You look nice," she offered, pointing to Barry, who was wearing a three-piece tux. It was the truth, but also, it was the least she could say after the way she'd allowed her marriage to Scott to interfere with their once envy-inducing friendship.

"Do I?" He said, in an octave that made Iris chuckle. He coughed to disguise his flub, and ran a hand through his hair. "I mean, do I?" he said, voice returned to normal.

"Yeah. Patty's a really lucky woman, I'm so happy for you two," she said flashing him her most genuine smile. In Barry's jittery state, he missed the hints of sadness present, which was for the best. Iris herself, hadn't realized what she would feel, seeing Barry prepared to marry another woman. Now that she was standing in front of him, though, feelings she'd long tried to ignore were bubbling up just underneath the surface, waiting to spill over.

"Thank you, I-Iris. I'm happy too." There was a muted sadness in the way he responded, which Iris did indeed notice. She wasn't sure if she should point it out or not, given she'd relinquished her right to pry into Barry's life when she allowed their friendship to fizzle into nothingness. But she figured prying would be better than addressing the latter.

"So, I hear you're kinda nervous," she said gently. Barry spooked easily. He always had. And she didn't want to induce anymore anxiety, but she was curious to dig into his mental state, prior to his wedding.

"I was. I mean, I am. But it's not as bad as before."

She nodded. "Well, wedding jitters are perfectly normal. I was a mess and a half right before I walked down the aisle."

Barry just nodded and smiled. Iris's wedding day was easily in the top five most difficult ordeals he'd been through, and he'd witnessed both of his parents murdered right in front of him. He'd pushed memories of that day, and all of the ones leading up to it, as far down into the pit of his distant memories as he could. And yet, all it took was a brief mention of it to make them explode to the surface.

Barry sighed when he returned from his kitchen with a tray of snacks to find Iris laid across his bed, staring up at the ceiling, hands rested across her chest. They were supposed to be making the most of the days leading up to her wedding by having a much-needed movie night(in those days, Barry had been naive enough to believe Iris when she said that nothing, and no one would ever come in between their friendship) but Iris was a mess of nerves about the big day.

Even though Barry was prepared to stand with Iris in her bridal party, he had been living in ignorant bliss, basically pretending that his entire life wasn't about to be turned upside down. All he wanted was to spend as much time with Iris as he could, but it was damn near impossible since Iris was growing more apprehensive by the day, sometimes the hour. And she was not good at hiding it

.Standing over his bed, he sighed. "What's wrong now?"

"I'm only 26, what do I know about being a wife?" She said, not at him but at the ceiling. She rested her hand on her forehead, and chuckled. "I mean, I definitely have no desire to be a stay at home wife, but I'll have to cook sometimes right? That's what wives do. I only know how to cook five meals. Scott's gonna die of starvation because of me."

Barry laughed. "You sound ridiculous." He sat down the tray of food on his bedside table, then took a seat next to her. She rose from her spot, and perched one leg up on the bed.

"Do I? I can't deep clean that big ass apartment he's just leased for us, I don't know how to dry clean his fancy suits. These are things that adult women getting married need to know. To be quite honest, the only thing I'm confident in is my ability to please him sexually."

"Whoa! Whoa, Whoa." Barry threw his hands up. That was much more than he ever wanted to know about her and Scott. And God knows, he knew more than enough already.

Iris blushed, her nerves were getting the best of her. "TMI?"

"WAY too much," Barry said. He shook it off, though, because there were more important matters at hand. Like calming Iris's nerves. No matter how much he disliked Scott, or the thought of Iris getting married, he hated seeing her worrying herself over nothing. "That's beside the point though. You would make any man a great wife, Iris. You're beautiful, smart, driven. So what if you can't coo-"

"Yeah, one day. But what if it's not the right time. What if I just shouldn't get married yet?"

If only Barry had known then that Iris was asking him to give her a way out, he would have confessed his feelings right then and there, but he hadn't known. So he took her hand in his and told her that she should with glossy eyes. And when she noticed, he looked away, and pretended that the cause of the shimmering was because of a dust particle. When their eyes met again, there was still a hopeful glint in her eye, but he thought she was looking for him to encourage her further, so that's what he did.

"That's crazy talk, Iris. You love Scott, right?"

Iris opened her mouth, but when no words flowed, she coughed, hopeful that she could jar some loose. "Yes," she finally said. It was throaty and garbled, and made Barry look at her, curiously. "Yes. So in love, so happy," she added, more jubilantly than before—enough to erase any trace of doubt that Iris should wait.

"Then that's all that matters."

"Barr? You okay?"

Iris West waved a hand in front of his face. She didn't know where his mind had traveled during those thirty seconds, but it was somewhere distant, somewhere that stirred up feelings of dread within him.

Was he thinking about her and the way she just tossed him aside once her life in Keystone got too hectic to accommodate a man who demanded every single second of her spare time; once her feelings for Barry became so overwhelming she had to put some distance between them; once Scott became so volatile about her Flash coverage, she had to keep Barry away from him too, to prevent being found out.

"Oh, uh," Barry said, shaking away the awkwardness, "I guess. I was daydreaming."

Iris wanted, so, so badly to ask him just what he'd been thinking about, and she may have, but he segued away from the awkwardness, saying, "Speaking of your wedding, how are you and Scott doing?"

"A-MAZ-ing," she said.

To Barry, it sounded like she was overemphasizing, but between his nerves, the way she was looking in her dress, and the way her favorite perfume was invading his senses, he hadn't the words.

"Really?" He asked, out of habit. Or because his brain enjoyed betraying him. Or, because he was hoping she'd tell him that she was miserable with Scott, not because that's what she deserved, but because maybe, just maybe, she—"

"SO happy," she continued, clapping.

His face fell before he could finish his thought.

She kept on, "I mean, the happiest. Scott and I? Happy, happy, happy."

"Well, I'm glad, Iris," he said after a moment to digest what she'd said. "You deserve that and more."

"Thank you, Barry. So do you."

"Okay, okay, that's enough catching up. This man has to get married," said, Cisco announcing his arrival in a way only he could, "in about, 15 minutes." He'd been listening outside of the door, and Iris was one "happy" away from derailing all of the work he'd put into getting Barry in the right headspace to get married. The job of a best man was never done, but being the one to Barry Allen, it was like he'd taken on a second, full time job. If this wedding didn't get moving soon, Cisco was going to have to play wingman to Barry during his honeymoon. He imagined that men pining over their childhood loves had a hard time getting things u with their wives. And even his loyalty had its limits.

"Of course." Iris laughed nervously, pushing her hair behind her ears. She looked back towards Barry. A brief pause followed, but then she leaned up and kissed Barry on the cheek, leaving him with a final "good luck" before scurrying off in pursuit of her seat, out in the church.

With Iris gone, Cisco turned back towards his friend, a knowing look of judgement on his face.

"What?"

"You were doing that thing again."

"Was I?"

"You were. I was hoping you weren't, but the sound of her voice turned you back into a pathetic puppy dog. Then you stared at her leaving like your long, lost love just walked out of your life." He raised a hand. "Scratch that. Sorry."

Barry huffed, feigning offense. Suddenly the room was hot and stuffy. He pulled on his bowtie, to loosen it, concerned that he might have another panic attack at any moment.

"Remember. Wide open fields, buddy."

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said lying.

Cisco glared at him, and Barry averted his gaze, but that didn't deter the shorter man from taking a step forwards and placing two hands on Barry's shoulders.

"I know how you feel about her." His voice was gentle like a parent who was breaking bad news to their child, or a teacher explaining to a student why they should stay away from the troublemakers in the class. "And I get it. She's breathtaking, Barry. And you've known her your entire life. But she is a married woman now. Her husband is out there, next to her, waiting for your wedding to start. And may I add, as much as I love Iris, she hasn't been there for you the way you deserved over the last 3-4 years."

"Cisco. Please."

He continued, cutting Barry off, "But there's a lovely woman, four doors down waiting to devote her life to you in front of your friends and family. She's dreamed of this day since she was a little girl, and I've seen the way she looks at you. She loves you, man. She loves you the way that you love Iris. But none of that matters if your heart's not in it. So, I need you to sit here, alone for the next 9 and a half minutes," he said, glancing at this watch, "and make sure that this is really what you want."

Patty was an image of beauty as she walked down the aisle, accompanied by her grandfather. She wore a strapless, white gown, with an empire waistline. Her blonde hair was swept up into a high bun, with loose tendrils framing her face. Barry knows that Patty's father would have loved to see her wearing a smile so big, it filled the room. He couldn't tell whether or not she was crying from that distance, and with her veil, but knowing how much she loved her father, and the talks they'd had about him, he figured she was. It caused his own eyes to well up with tears.

No woman deserved to lose her father in such a violent way. It led to thoughts about his own parents, and the fact that, if Joe West, wasn't sat out in the pews, he would have had absolutely no one he could truly call family in attendance at his wedding. He sniffed, attempting to get a hold on his emotions. But more importantly because this was a good day, the first day of the rest of his life, that would, hopefully, not be weighed down like his first 30 years had.

Cisco was right. Iris was, and probably would always be someone he loved dearly, but he needed to move past her. She'd been married for four years. She wasn't his best friend anymore, even though it was clear that the affection between them remained. He glanced, ever so quickly at her in the pews. Her eyes were locked in on Patty, just like all of the other guests. Hand to her heart, she looked over to Scott, and he placed a hand on her shoulder. Iris tilted her head slightly in his direction. And for the first time in Barry's life, he was genuinely happy that Iris was happy with him.

Because, his happiness, at least his chance at happiness, was walking down the aisle willing, and enthusiastically ready to proclaim her love for him, in front of 200 of their closest friends, family members, and co-workers.

Barry could have sped back to Romanville, but he needed the 10 or so hour drive in his car to formulate how he was going to break things off to Patty. He hoped that the time alone would give him some kind of clarity about the best way to tell her he wanted a divorce, but the time alone had only made things worse.

When he was with Iris, it was impossible for him to truly feel the weight of his decision to end his marriage. But alone, away from her intoxicating smile, and her warm eyes, and that body that drove him crazy, it was absolutely crushing him.

Now sat in his driveway, he was relieved that Patty had already taken her Mid-term, because he'd come up with nothing close to the right words—nothing at all to soften the blow. Maybe that was because there were no right words.

When his phone chirped, pulling him away from his thoughts, Iris' name—a name that, before this week, he hadn't seen on his phone in years, flashed across the front of it. Usually, he would have welcomed the brief distraction, but given the circumstances, it only made the ache in his stomach grow more intense. The ring for emergencies was loud, and piercing, so Iris wasn't in any danger. If anything, she was probably checking in to see if he'd made it safely back home. She knew he was out of practice as a driver but she also knew the full scope of his abilities, so it's not like it mattered. Maybe she was calling to check up on him in other ways. Regardless, now wasn't the time. There would come a time—hopefully very, very soon –when Iris had his complete, undivided attention, but there were more than a few hurdles he had to jump over first.

At his front porch, Barry took in a deep breath, then proceeded to open enter his home. He'd hoped that maybe Patty was asleep, or upstairs studying, and he'd have an excuse to prolong this further. Much to his dismay, she was cooking for him. He could smell the blend of Italian seasonings wafting through the air. But more than that, she'd cleaned up their home from floor to ceiling, in preparation for his arrival.

Everything looked absolutely 4000-dollar ivory couch, sat in the middle of their living room, had been freshly vacuumed. Their matching wall-to-wall carpets glowed from being freshly shampooed–the staunch chemical smell was almost as prevalent as the Italian spices. He hadn't been in the kitchen or upstairs, but he could guess it was spotless, just like their bedrooms and bathrooms. Patty was a very busy woman, who loved her job at the RVPD, but deep inside, she had a bit of a homemaker spirit to her. She'd obviously taken advantage of his absence to try to spruce up their living situation.

"That better be Barry coming through my front door. Otherwise, I am a cop with a gun!' She called out playfully from the kitchen.

"Uh, yeah. It's me, Patty."

"I know, I heard you pull in," she yelled. A moment later, she emerged through the swinging doors, a large smile on her face. She removed her apron, threw it on the couch, and made a beeline for him, pulling him into a bear hug. "I know I insisted, but I am never encouraging you to stay behind again. I missed you so much."

"I missed you too," he said, eyes pressed tight, as they embraced. She always gave such amazing hugs. He pulled her further into him. He was going to miss them.

"Good. It's only been a few days," she said, pulling away from him, "but I have a ton to catch you up on. And I wanna hear all about the rest of your trip as well. But all of that can wait until after we eat. I made lasagna, your favorite."

"You didn't have to cook for me."

"Don't be silly; you know how much I love it. I just don't get to as much as I liked."

Before he could say anything, she rose up on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his forehead, then one to his lips. He returned her advances with a chaste kiss, but when she came back a third time, this time, to deepen their kiss, his mind traveled to Iris.

"Wait. Patty," he said, blocking her path to him.

"What's wrong Barr?" She asked, noticing for the first time his bleak expression. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?" She asked, bringing a hand to his forehead, looking him squarely in the eye.

Barry sighed. These were not the eyes of a woman about to have her world turned upside down. They were one of a woman, concerned about her husband. One who loved him with all of her heart.

"Patty, please sit down."

He reached for her hand, but she pulled it back, examining his eyes for some kind of answer. "Barry, you're scaring me. Did something happen? Are you sick? No, of course you're not. Speedsters can't get sick. Did something happen to Joe? Or Cecile? Or."

"Patty!" He croaked, the lump in his throat building with every single passing minute. "Please sit down," he said, wiping the tears that were pooling in his eyes.

Eyes wide, she did as he said, and took a seat on the couch. "Barry. Why are you crying? What's going on?"

He sucked in a deep breath, and released it soon after.

"Patty, do you know why I didn't go home the entire year we've been married, until five days ago?"

"Because you lost so much there," she said. "Your mom and dad. Almost your life, when you were struck by the lightning."

"Yes, Central City has taken more from me than I ever imagined it would. But also," he said, pausing to gather his thoughts.

"But what," she beckoned.

"Everything about my existence in Central City reminded me of Iris."

"Iris?"

"Joe's house. Jitters. The police department, CCPN," he said, listing the items off on his finger. "The pretzel shop next to CPPD makes me think about every Friday during our Senior year, when we'd run there after school to spend our paychecks, eating our weight in bread and hot cheese. And I still can't even go visit my parent's graves without thinking about how she used to sit out there with me for hours and let me cry into her shoulder."

Patty glowered at him, as he spoke. She knew that Barry had shared a special bond with Iris, growing up. But she didn't know that it had been this strong. "Sounds like you two had quite the friendship," she said, stoically. "Why are you telling me this, now, though?" In the entire time they'd been dating, and married, Patty could count on one hand the amount of times, he'd mentioned Iris. And none of them had been willingly. The crumbs of information she'd gotten out of Barry about her had come from Patty managing to sneak her into conversation, by bringing up aspects of his childhood she'd been present in. Even then, there was always this level of detachment in his voice that always piqued her interest.

"Because. You thought I wanted to keep you from my family, or from Iris, but that's not it."

Patty's face softened, as relief washed over it. Of course, this was about their trip. Things had been a little rocky at first, but overall, but she felt they'd all had a pretty good time.

"The truth," he continued, voice breaking, "is that I wanted to keep myself away from the painful memories, of losing her friendship. But then I had to save her from that blizzard, and we had a chance to talk for the first time in years. She confided in me about her husband, and told me he didn't love her anymore. Which is crazy, because I didn't understand how anyone couldn't love her."

"I-uh," Patty said, shaking her head. "Wait. Where are you going with this Barry?"

Barry sniffed, willing the landslide of tears and snot to keep themselves inside of his head, but it was no use.

"See. The crying. The random mention of Iris, after you've spent entire two years skirting around her name. You're scaring me, Barry. What are you trying to tell me?"

Barry sighed, and lowered his head in shame. "Iris was my first love. My only true love, before I met you."

Patty gulped. This was definitely not what she was expecting to hear. "So she's your ex? Is that why you won't talk about her with me?"

Barry shook his head. "No. We never dated. Because I was too afraid to tell her how I felt. For the near-entirety of our friendship until…this week. I told her how I always felt about her."

"Did you hear me?" He asked, hoping that he didn't have to repeat those words. Hurting her once was more than enough.

"I'm sorry, I'm just… trying to process all of this."

"I'm so sorry, Patty. I wanted to tell you sooner."

Again, Barry waited for Patty to break down into tears, or perhaps rage with anger, but she just sat there staring off into the distance for God knows how long.

Oddly enough, she stood where she was sat, and turned towards him, " "Everyone has childhood crushes Barry." I'm just glad that you finally told me. I noticed something off about the way you two were interacting, but I didn't want to pry. Now I know it's because you were feeling guilty about not sharing this with me."

"You're not mad?"

"It's not really what I want to hear, but the fact that you've been torturing yourself over this," she laughed gently, "God, I thought that something awful had happened. You really are the sweetest man ever."

"Wait. Patty."

"No, Barry," she said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I appreciate your honesty. But honestly, I missed you so much, I just wanna skip dinner all together, and just go straight of dessert."

She took a seat in his lap, and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I missed you so much, Barry." She kissed that sensitive part of his neck, directly under his earlobe that made his body shudder. It caused streaks of electricity spread in every direction from the source of her kiss, current not from the source of his powers. "Patty," he said firmly, then tried to say, because though he hated to admit it, the weight of her legs over his lap felt kind of nice and the feel of her touch on his neck, grounded the nervous ripples traveling through his body. Eventually, his "Patty no's" melted into grumbled pleas, that wouldn't rise up past this throat, no matter how badly he wanted them to come to the surface, and tell her that she'd misunderstood. That she'd missed the entire damn point of what he was saying.

But he'd expelled so much emotional energy during the drive over here, thinking about Iris and their respective weddings, and how easy things could have been if they'd been honest with each other, years ago. And he couldn't scrounge up any more will to go back over it all again, and make Patty understand that she might have had a piece of his heart, but it wholly and fully belonged to Iris West, and always had.

Patty twisted her body, so that she was straddling his lap fully, his body betrayed him, reacting to the external stimuli of having a beautiful woman, who he'd been having sex with regularly since they started dating.

"Oh, you're happy to see me, huh?" Patty asked, flirtation in her voice, before pressing her mouth against his, as her hands idly undid the buttons of his dress shirt.

The last place Barry was expecting to end up the morning after his night with Patty, was in Iris's hotel room. Well, actually, the last place he'd expected to end up the night prior was in between Pattys' legs.

Yes, that was the correct order of things.

He was supposed to break things off with Patty so he could get back to Iris, back to her hotel room, back with the love of his life. If only he'd been able to keep things straight, and correct Patty's blunder.

Now Iris had Barry pinned against the wall, with her hands fumbling with his zipper, and the only emotion he was feeling that was stronger than his guilt, was the lust he was feeling for her.

"What happened to no sex?" He said, walking her backwards back over to her bed. He hoisted her up, and gently, he placed her on her on her back, and turned his attention to her neck.

"This isn't sex," Iris breathed breathily. "This is…sex adjacent.

"You make that up?"

"Mhmm." She kissed him again, slipping her tongue deep inside of his mouth. It was a possessive kiss, one probably brought on by the amount of time it had taken him to get back to her last night. He hadn't meant to ignore her, but Patty had kept him occupied well into the night, and it's not easy to answer text messages when you're having sex. Of course, Iris hadn't known that.

"I missed you too, you have no idea," he said.

Iris pushed Barry up off of her, gazing up at him with lust-ridden eyes. "Touch me, Barry," she said, guiding his hands to her centermost point. "Like you did the other night."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," she nearly moaned. "I need you, I love you."

He still hadn't gotten used to her saying those words. But this time, instead of them bringing him joy, they only brought him pain.

He sighed.

"What's wrong Barr?"

Barry sat up, and ran a hand through his head. "I can't do this."

"Do what?"

"This. Not while things are so messed up."

Iris paused. Of course, he was hurting because of Patty. It was absolutely natural, and here she was, pressuring him into messing around."I am so sorry." she said, rubbing a hand down his chest. "Of course. you're not ready for this yet. Do you wanna talk about it?"

He clenched his teeth, unable to formulate an acceptable response.

"Did you hear me?"

He heard the crack in her voice, the one that gave way to the concern she was feeling.

"I didn't tell her, Iris."

"Wha-what?"

He turned towards her, earnestly. "I tried to tell her, God knows I did. But she took things the wrong way."

"Wait. Wait," Iris said, scooting to the edge of the bed. Once there, she adjusted her clothes, and stood up. "Did you or did you not tell her?"

"I told her about why I didn't want to go home, and about being in love with you my entire life. But she thought I meant in the past."

"Well, is that what you meant?" She asked, hand on her hip.

"Of course not, you know this, Iris. You know how much I love you."

"So why didn't you correct her?"

"I tried, but she was so hellbent on, on having sex," he said, lowering his voice like it was a dirty word, "that she wasn't hearing me. I couldn't get a word in."

"Oh," she said, "I see. And did you?"

"I never wanted this to happen, Iris."

Iris sat, eyes wide, attempting to process his admission. A beat later, she shrugged, a melancholy tone to her voice. "No. She's your wife. That's what you do." Iris followed that by walking away from him, so he wouldn't witness the tears forming in her eyes, and took a seat at her desk, on the other side of the room. She moved the cursor on her keyboard, and jolted her laptop awake.

Mindless typing soon filled the room.

"Iris. Wait. Talk to me please."

"There's nothing to talk about, here. I have work to do. Rather, pitches to formulate. I can't live out of this hotel room forever."

Hating that he was talking to the back of her head, Barry walked over to where she was sat, and leaned his back against the wall. "You're thinking of starting your career back up?" He asked, attempting to go along with the conversation change.

She nodded, eyes still fixed on her computer screen.

"That's great, you're a talented writer."

"So, I've been told," she said curtly.

Barry sighed harshly. Of course she was angry with him. "I am going to tell her, Iris. Nothing has changed on my end. We just got carried away."

Iris chuckled, as she continued to type. "I'll remember that next time it happens."

"I have to get back to work, can we please meet up tomorrow to talk about this."

Iris tilted her head to the side, as if she was deep in thought."Actually, this week is pretty busy for me," she eventually answered. I'll call you though. If you can talk, that is." She rose to her tip toes, and kissed him on the cheek. This thing with Iris was still new, but he immediately recognized the coldness in her kiss

"Are we okay, Iris?" He asked, looking into her eyes. "Please, talk to me."

"You know what Barr? I have paperwork to file, a lawyer to find that won't bankrupt me, and a job to land. This isn't the right time."

Barry folded his arms and scoffed.

"I'm sorry, do you have a problem?"

"It's just, you mention the 'right time' and I just wonder, was telling me you loved me, while my wife was downstairs the right time?"

He wasn't able to hide the resentment in his tone. He'd never blamed Iris for any of the choices she made, but given everything that happened, and the way she turned off her affection for him at a moment's notice, he was more than perturbed.

She chuckled. "You mean a wife that you just had sex with? The same wife you also had sex with hours after I kissed you, which I didn't comment on, by the way, right before you tried to make me confront my feelings in my father's kitchen! And you have the nerve to imply I did something wrong."

"Iris-"

"You know what," she said cutting him off, "Maybe I am wrong. Wrong for expecting anything from you. I mean, Let's be real, Barry. I don't have a right to demand anything from you. We're not in a relationship. And I know better than this. To play with this kind of fire. I've never messed around with a married man. But you looked at me with those fucking green eyes of yours, and I just took you at your word when you said that this is what you wanted. But it's obviously more complicated than that."

"What are you saying, Iris?"

"I'm saying, I want you to go home to your wife. What you decide to do, within your marriage, once you're there is on you, but I'm taking myself out of this equation."

"Iris. Please. If you'd just listen to me. You'll understa–."

Iris turned back to her laptop and, resumed what she'd been working on before he'd gotten there. "Goodbye, Barry."

Barry could feel his stomach, again, turning in on itself. He looked back at her, looking straight ahead at her computer screen. A lone tear spilled from her eye, but she was way too prideful to let him see her wipe it. She was hurt. And it was all his fault. He couldn't' think of a single combination of words that would make any of this any better, other than, "I'm sorry Iris."

He gave her a final look, before turning the doorknob to leave. Where he was going he didn't know. But his job, or his home with Patty wasn't an option. He needed somewhere isolated where he could think. Before he could speed away, the sight on the other side of the door, stopped him in his tracks, however.

"Scott."