Prince of Heart- Lord give me strength for the annoyance that is Feferi, and my hopefulness that she's actually a good character one day.

Eridan gulped down a glob of saliva, watching the fish-girl slowly widen her eyes and a chilling scowl crawl onto her face. The Witch stood still for a moment at the front of the ship, next to the an oft flirted with cat girl, before she threw her hands down and began stomping towards the Prince in an awfully furious manner. Eridan felt something familiar, the same type of fear he had onset when Kanaya had confronted him on the roof of the meteor so far back, and he stayed eerily stiff and still as she approached ever so closer. He managed to slide his head to see Vriska step to the side of the Witch, an obviously entertained smile on her smug god damn face. The sound of clacking footsteps became maddening in his head, and he turned his head just in time just to feel the colourful and bling endowed fishes hand smack across his face, emitting an audible crack that echoed on the entire ship.

Eridan's face jerked to the side, and the Witch finally spoke up, "W)(AT TH-E )(-ELL IS WRONG WIT)( YOU?"

Eridan slowly turned his head to face the pear-bodied princess, her clothing sense seemingly unchanged since her living days, with the tank top, swimming short shorts, and the green and purple skirt that reached her knees. "uh wwell-" Eridan began, though not for long.

"LIK-E )(ON-ESTLY, you break up with a guy in a V-ERY civil manner, and )(e blows it way the )(ell out of porpoise-tion, t)(oug)( I s)(ould )(ave expected t)(at with YOU of all trolls!"

Eridan slowly rubbed his cheek caressingly. "yeah i guess i deservved that-"

"YOU GU-ESS? We were friends –Eridan, why the ever loving FUCK would you flipper out like t)(at?"

"wwell i mean i dont think you should be usin puns wwhen youre yellin or…"

"O)(, I'M SORRY, AR-E YOU T-ELLING M-E )(OW TO B-E ANGRY? W-ELL, S-E-EMS LIK-E YOU WOULD B-E T)(-E –EXP-ERT IN ANG-ER OF ALL T)(INGS, B-ECAUS-E T)(AT WAS ALL YOU –EV-ER W-ER-E. 'oh fef i dont wwanna talk about my feelins but howw about this bunch of innocent land dwwellers i killed!' T)(at got tiring –Eridan, and I )(ad to break up with you, but t)(at didn't mean we couldn't be friends or w)(atever, but you just )(ad to get jealous and kill Sollux and I!"

"0h g0d d0n't bring me int0 this," Sollux pleaded, rubbing his eye-patches with his thumb and index finger.

"wwell fyi i didnt kill you cause i wwas jealous-"

"O)( MY GOD, I CAN NOT B-ELI-EV-E YOU AR-E TRYING TO D-EF-END YOUR IN-EXCUSABL-E ACTIONS! You killed t)(e bot)( of us, and yet you didn't get w)(at you deserved! You s)(ould )(ave been the one fused wit)( someone in t)(at session wit)( t)(e overdramatic humans, not me or Nepeta or even Equius!"

"fef please i do fuckin think i should havve! but i fuckin wwasnt an-"

"O)(, SO YOU T)(INK T)(AT MAKES IT ALRIGHT? You t)(ink t)(at you can just say you s)(ould )(ave died and be free of every bad t)(ing you've done?" She stepped closer, a few inches away from him, and poked Eridan's chest gruffly, pushing him away. "You can )(ate yourself all you want, but you still MURD-ER-ED US –Eridan. You were jealous, and )(onestly really just FUCKING pathetic! T)(at time I was fused wit)( Nepeta, one of t)(e only t)(ings on my mind was )(ow muc)( I )(AT-ED you, and you still know )(ow muc)( I LOV-E everyone, don't you? So congratulations –Eridan, you broke me! You actually broke me, so )(ow t)(e )(-ELL does t)(at feel? O)( WAIT, YOU DON'T F-E-EL ANYT)(ING BUT ANG-ER, DON'T YOU?"

"uh," the human whispered just in range of Eridan, to the brown blooded Page beside him, "did she just say she was fused with that cat girl?"

"nO," the Page replied, "i'M PRETTY SURE SHE SAID TO, UH, GIVE ME THAT RING. aND YOU KNOW, SINCE SHE IS A PRINCESS, UH, YOU OUGHT TO GIVE IT TO ME."

"oh! well i guess since she is a- hey wait a minute! she did not say that!"

"wHY RISK IT, UH, i THINK?"

"go away im not giving you the ring bull guy!"

"i'M NOT SURE WHAT THAT MEANS, UH, BUT i'LL HURT YOU IF YOU SAY IT AGAIN? oR MAYBE NOT SINCE THAT IS KIND OF, UH, MEAN."

Eridan gritted his teeth. "fef please i cant fix anythin that happened-"

"And w)(at does t)(at mean? You t)(ink I s)(ould forgive you for w)(at you did simply because it's been long enough)(? T)(is )(as been a long time coming –Eridan, but you are a pat)(etic, overdramatic, cretin of a troll w)(o does not deserve any )(appiness wit)(in his life, and one day, I only )(ope you ge-"

"oh for fucks sake shut the FUCK up you hypocritical overtly nosy OAF!" Eridan screamed back, pushing the appalled princess back a little out of shock. "i mean howw high do you think you fuckin are? howw free of wwrath or sins or wwhat the FUCK EVVER do you believve your shitty way of life is? you stand there and fuckin SCREAM at me for killin you out of 'jealousy'," he said, finger quoting the word, 'yet forget that you ATTACKED me back in that meteor. i duelled that yelloww blooded scum in a fair battle of magic and wweird mythical psychic bs and WWON but you still decided to attack me!"

Feferi gasped, "W)(at else were we supposed to do?"

"YOU COULD HAVVE SAID NO. it wwas an offer and i wwasnt gonna kidnap you like one of those vvisual advventures that land dwwellers wwatch because i still fuckin gavve you undeservved respect in my lovve for you! i mean for the sufferers fuckin sake wwhy the FUCK did i evver believve you to be that outta my god damn league wwhen you wwere almost as bad as me in your owwn glubbin wway!"

He pushed Feferi away lightly with his index finger, slowly guiding her backwards. "for all your ovverly happy glubs and sickeningly positivve attitude all you did wwas manipulate others for your owwn joy! you only stayed in a relationship wwith me because you needed your lusus fed and you couldnt stand killin things!"

"I… I was just protecting everyone from you, you genocidal maniac!"

"oh! oh FUCKIN WWERE YOU? because as much as i claimed i wwanted to did it evver occur to your hoofbeast sized thinkpan that i nevver had the MEANS to attempt it? if i fuckin wwanted to i wwoulda found a wway wwithout you! but no you wwere so caught up in your owwn little paradise that you couldnt see wwhat wwas right in front of you wwhat wwas so obvvious! then you movved the fuck on wwithout a thought nevver evven thinkin about vvisitin me on my planet! i wwouldnt be surprised if you wwere takin advvantage of sols grievvance at the death of his former matesprit!"

Feferi was stopped by the mast pole of the ship, as Eridan leaned in as close as he could. "you wwanna knoww wwhat your main problem is though? you wwanna think that youre the good girl. you wwanna think that YOURE the hero that all your manipulatin is good for others. but it aint. all you did wwas use others for your owwn amusment and wwhen it got borin you movved onto the next sap that fell for your wiles. you got wwhat wwas comin to you cause heres the thing. you aint better than the her imperious condescension. fuck i wwould say youre wworse cause at least the empress can admit that shes a terrible fuckin person and take it wwith pride. hell wworse than me cause i can do the exact same thing and i murdered two people i gavve a shit about. you deservved to die after wwhat you did to me and… after wwhat the fuck you did to that stupid yellow blood! and one day i hope that you can come to accept wwhat you are. maybe then youll do wwhatevver the fuck ghosts do at night but fuckin enjoy it."

Eridan took a few deep breaths, staring directly into a princess who looked like she had the power of God smitten in her. He adjusted the cape around his vest, letting out a large sigh and stepping away from the Witch, as she slowly lowered her hands to her sides with caution. He turned around, looking at the crew who had various states of curiosity on their faces, before barging away towards the back of the galleon whilst looking at the Thief of Light.

"movve this fuckin ship already god damn it!" he commanded, rushing up the stairs to the bridge.

Vriska threw her arms up, replying, "Whatever you say captain. I guess."