Prince of Heart- 2 cool + 2 be = 4gotten is the only math equation I need

Eridan huffed out into the open breeze, leaning over the edge of the back of the ship and staring over the sea of galleons, filled with legions of unrecognizable faces. It was awfully freaky, seeing those ships filled with hundreds of figures that Eridan couldn't even see, all stiff solid save for the sea rocking them back and forth. He didn't feel like looking back at the group he'd left behind, to see their mix of confused and shocked faces, especially whatever state he left the Witch in. That is, if she even gave a shit. He was just so angry that she blamed him for everything, acted like she was such a sin-free princess; but she needed to be taken down a peg. Looking back, she was the least useful player on their team; what did she really do? Create these stupid bubbles? But nothing directly to the team, of course; only a bunch of fucking around with other trolls to satisfy her emotional cravings. Eridan heard the clacking of footsteps behind him, but kept himself lent over the railing away from the figure.

"hi!" The figure exclaimed in a male voice, one Eridan didn't recognize. Eridan decided to turn around to identify the figure, pursing his lips as he did, and saw that it was the one human amongst the crew of trolls. "so, i guess first things first, i'm john! i've only seen you once i think, back, what was it? two years and something months? jeez! time sure flies. i don't know whether you would recognize me, did you look into that black hole or whatever the heck you guys saw from your side of jade? heh, that was a stupid way to put it. do you even know who jade is?"

Eridan raised an eyebrow, a scowl now resting on his face. "of course i knoww wwho jade is. she wwas that ungrateful fuckin bitch that didnt take my god wweapon that i so graciously bestowwed upon her."

John's smile faltered, and he gave a nervous chuckle. "uh… yeah, i guess that sounds like her. but you and i have had different experiences with her! i know she might be a little frustrating but that's part of what i like about her! she can be sweet and nice if you get to know her and are not a big douche! but i guess even then you can get on her good side, because karkat did after all." John shook his head in an attempt to get himself back on track. "anyway, i think i heard your name was eridan? and you are one of the trolls traveling with rose and dave?"

Eridan scrunched up his nose at the humans lengthy rambles. "yeah i am."

"cool! how are those two? what brother sister shenanigans have they gotten up to?"

"mostly romantic b s. dave and ter got together. then it turned out ter had an illicit black romance with gam evven though it meant him cheatin on me kismesis wwise. so i guess they aint a thing wwhich kinda hurts me emotionally cause i thought those psychotic saps belonged together. but wwhat the fuck evver. rose and kan got together after a swweep of some ridiculous wwill they wwont they. but noww rose is addicted to illicit bevvs so theyre goin through a rough patch."

"uh, one question, who is kan?" John questioned.

"kanaya. you nevver talked to her before?"

"her you say? huh. i never would have guessed rose was a lesbian, but that's pretty cool!"

"lets bein wwhat?"

"excuse me?"

"you didnt finish your sentence. you said you nevver would havve guessed rose was a lets bein and then fuckin stopped."

John's goofy smile slowly faded into a shocked and offended expression. "really? is that how it is?"

"is that howw wwhat i-"

"oh no you freaking dont! you think you can come onto this boat, play a perfect and well thought out prank, and then feign ignorance? you insult me, and you insult the egbert family name!"

"wwhat the fuck are you talkin about youre almost as bad as evvery human ivve met. no fuck that youre exactly as bad in terms of meaningless bs."

"h0ly shit dude that was s0me fucking spastic rant y0u went 0ff on," Eridan heard approaching from beside him, up the stairs coming Sollux and Aradia, arm in arm. "i'm g0ing t0 admit i did n0t see that c0ming fr0m s0me0ne as whipped as y0u were."

Aradia lightly hit Sollux in the arm for his comment. "sollux you said you were going to be nicer to him!"

"no, y0u said i was g0ing t0 be nicer t0 him. i never agreed t0 be p0lite 0r whatever the shit t0 the guy wh0 attempted t0 murder me several fucking times bef0re it c0uld've been self defense."

"shut your fuckin honey mouth before i throww you ovverboard you…" Eridan sighed defeated. "it just doesnt havve that oomph as it did back when there wwas a hierarchy. noww it kinda seems meaningless after spendin time wwith a mish mash of people and trolls."

"w0w what a superficial and fucking unearned character devel0pment."

Aradia slapped his arm again. "sollux!" The Maid made a click with her mouth. "anyway eridan its great to see you again! hows the land of the living treating you?"

"eh wwell i guess. i think the group doesnt hate me anymore and i got a ghost matesprit so i guess lifes goin swimmingly."

"0h yeah fuck haha," Sollux laughed, "what a fuck y0u t0 vriska huh?"

"wwhat?"

"like y0u're just dating her t0 make vriska jeal0us, right?"

"wwhat the fuck are you on about i dont givve a highbloods ass about vvris anymore."

"oh wait, i remember you now!" John exclaimed, "you messaged me back a while ago telling me what a scumbag i was! ah, good times."

"yeah wwhatevver that wwas a long time ago," Eridan sighed. "i miss those days. noww wwere on our wway to fight some fuckin invvincible monster. evverythings so different."

John put a hand on Eridan's shoulder. "well, we all are, you know? you're not alone here. we're all scared, but anything can be done when we finally unite together!"

"that is by fuckin far the most ridiculous thing that i havve evver heard from a human."

Eridan felt the ground beneath him shift, and noticed the boat begin to slowly move away from his memory hive. "HA HA!" He heard Vriska cry. "Laidies and gentletrolls, we have movement! Onto the prized 8ooty and all that!"