Chapter 8
Weeks turned into months, and soon half a year had gone by since Belle first came to the Underworld. Now it was December and Christmas was well on its way. At least, on Earth it was. Belle desperately missed seeing the lakes freeze and watching the frost gather on the trees, but she missed her father even more. Hopefully he had asked Hercules and Meg to watch over him. She wished that she had gotten to write a letter to them explaining what had happened. Then again, maybe it wasn't so bad that she hadn't told them. Both of them would have rushed to the Underworld to rescue her, and she would have never known what Hades was really like. Now that she knew him better, she understood his pain. He had lost so much, and unlike what Hercules said, most of it was not his own fault.
At breakfast, Hades noticed that Belle still wasn't quite herself. She seemed to have recovered from the trauma of her nightmare a few months ago, but something else was causing her sorrow. Of course, it's her father. Hades didn't understand how he could have not noticed how much she missed him. He might be the only family she had left. Well, besides Hercules and Meg, anyway. He had never had a true father, so he didn't understand as much. All he knew was that Belle and her father were very close, and that she had loved him enough to give up everything for him. Hopefully she no longer regretted that decision.
Belle wasn't sure if Christmas was even celebrated in Greece. She hadn't thought so, since Hercules had never heard of the holiday before. But Hades had traveled the world and been everywhere. Surely, he knew about Christmas. It seemed that there was little that he didn't know about. She definitely had not expected him to be so knowledgeable.
And in the spirit of the holiday season, Belle wanted to do some fun winter activities with Hades, if he would let her. Her favorite winter activity was ice skating. Every year Belle, Meg, and Maurice would go to the lake and her father would watch as Belle and her sister skated. Eventually Meg gave up and was content to sit with Maurice on the bench and enjoy the beautiful winter mountain views. She still remembered the first time Hercules had skated. She'd never seen anyone slip that much on ice.
Belle decided that she would ask Hades at breakfast this morning to see if he would let her to go to the surface. It had been so long since she'd been outside. Even an hour would be enough for her. As soon as Belle entered the dining hall, Hades looked up from his book and smiled. Almost every time she saw him he was reading something, whether it was a book, a newspaper, or something he called "Soul Files." Just as she thought he would, he looked away afterwards. He was always self-conscious about smiling. He didn't think that he could make it work with his fangs. Belle didn't mind, though. She was used to his appearance by now, and knew that there was more to him than what he looked like.
"Belle, you're a little early. Not that I'm complaining, but even my mother isn't here yet. Is anything wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong. I just wanted to ask you something, but it might seem silly. I'm sure you've never heard of it."
"Belle, I've seen things that existed in the past and will exist in the future. There's almost nothing I haven't heard of. Besides, nothing you say would be silly."
"Hades, if it's alright with you, I'd like to go to the surface and see the snow."
"The snow?" Hades asked, surprised. He hadn't seen snow in centuries.
"I know it seems ridiculous, but I've never seen winter here. If it even exists."
"Of course it exists. Snow is harder to find here, but I might know of a place. But if I take you up there, you have to promise me something," Hades said. He had to make sure that she wouldn't run away.
"Of course, Hades. Anything."
"You have to promise not to leave me. If I take you to the lake, how do I know you won't run away?"
"I would never leave you, Hades."
"You wouldn't?"
"I gave you my word, didn't I? And besides, I would miss you too much. I'm fond of you." She remarked nervously, then blushed.
"Belle, I would miss you too, if you left. I'm fond of you as well."
Belle smiled at him. She was touched to know that she meant something to him. "Well, anyway, thank you. It seems like you wouldn't want to be near snow, though."
"You mean because of the flames?" Hades grinned. Of course she would think that. Hades had actually enjoyed the winter before everything changed. It had always seemed like a fresh start. Lately, it seemed winter hadn't changed anything. Maybe this year would be different.
"How do you know where to find snow? Greece doesn't exactly seem like a winter wonderland."
"Have you ever been to Greece, Belle?"
"Yes, a few times. To visit family. But I never visited during the winter."
Hades knew that when she said family she meant Hercules and Meg, but both of them had agreed not to mention them. Especially since no one held any warm feelings for them right now.
"Then you probably haven't seen all of Greece. Near the mountains, there's lots of snow and all the lakes freeze over and turn to ice. I've been in that area a few times."
"And people weren't scared of you?"
"Not as long as I wear my cloak. It hides my face so that people can't see me. I just had to hope that they didn't know who I was. If people knew that the God of Death was outside the Underworld, then they would just run away in fear, even though I was different back then. Although, I'm not actually the God of Death. That title belongs to Thanatos." Hades laughed slightly, remembering the times when he went to the lakes. But he hadn't actually needed the cloak. He hardly ever went after changing. There just hadn't seemed to be much of a point to it anymore.
"Could we go to the lake after breakfast?"
"Of course, I'd be happy to take you. But it would be just us. I'm not sure I actually want everyone else to know I enjoy the snow."
"Why not?"
"It would ruin my villainous image, since I still am one."
"Hades, how can you still be a villain? You've been so kind to me ever since you rescued me that one night." Belle smiled at him and placed her hand gently on his. She wasn't used to someone holding her hand or kissing her, even though he had only kissed her once, that morning in the library. As much as she cared about Hades, she still wasn't sure that she wanted everyone to know that she was falling in love with him. But Belle didn't know that that was exactly what everyone was hoping for.
"Belle, you're here early. Normally you don't come in until after I arrive. I hope Hades hasn't been ignoring you all this time." Rhea said, and looked at Hades. She still wasn't used to seeing him being so social or shy. The earlier times he and Belle had spent time together, he had seemed at a loss for words.
"Of course not. Actually, we were just talking about…" Belle was about to say winter, but Hades shot her sharp look before she said anything.
"Never mind. It's not important." Belle finished quickly. Hades sighed in relief, but his mother noticed that immediately.
"Hades, what are you and Belle planning?"
"Nothing, Mom. And besides, it's between me and Belle."
Rhea was about to inquire further about their plans, but she could tell that the two of them wanted time alone. Maybe Hades could be saved after all. Hades and Belle ate breakfast quickly (too quickly) and then left, leaving Rhea to wonder where the two of them were off too in such a hurry. It would be wrong to spy on them, wouldn't it? But Rhea couldn't stifle her curiosity any longer and she went to the throne room to turn on the Tartarus Vision (TV for short) and she almost fainted in shock at what she saw. As she watched Hades and Belle together, she hardly recognized her son at all. He really was changing.
Hades instantly transported him and Belle to his favorite lake. Belle couldn't believe her eyes. Soft, sparkling snow was everyone and the frost in the trees looked like crystals.
"Oh, Hades. It's beautiful. I've never seen a winter this beautiful anywhere."
"I know it's not much but…" Hades started to say, but Belle interrupted and said,
"It's perfect."
"You really think it looks that good?"
"Hades, it's amazing. I've never seen so many of the trees flocked so heavily. Which reminds me, I completely forgot that I didn't even have gloves with me."
"It's nothing to worry about." Hades snapped his fingers and a pair of gloves appeared.
"You don't need any gloves?" Belle asked, curious. How could he not be freezing in this weather?
"I don't get cold. I haven't in a long time. I'm not really sure why."
Hades and Belle walked through the woods together, enjoying the mountain views and seeing the snow sparkle in the sunlight. It had been a long time since Hades had been outside in winter. Being with Belle, it seemed like he was seeing everything for the first time, the way she was. She had a way of making everything seem wonderful, even life in the Underworld. Things had been less gloomy since she had arrived. Even Pain and Panic were more consistent with following directions. They always wanted to impress her.
Suddenly, Belle started twirling around in the snow as snowflakes started to fall. It was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen.
"Hades, this is amazing! I've never stood in a snowfall before." Belle exclaimed with joy. He had never seen her this happy.
"Lucky timing, I guess."
"It can't just be luck. This has to be fate." Belle sighed and twirled again.
"Fate." He laughed, remembering that that was how they were able to be together in the first place. But Belle had heard him.
"What? Did I say something wrong?" Belle looked at him curiously.
"No, exactly right actually. It's just ironic." Hades laughed again and turned away smiling. That was the perfect opportunity for Belle to go into another one of her playful moods, which he didn't seem to mind, usually. He still wasn't used to having fun.
Before he knew it, a good-sized snowball was coming directly at him. As soon as the snow touched his flames, it melted, causing the water to splash all over him. The shock of the cold water startled him immediately.
Belle started to apologize, but before she knew it, a snowball was directed at her!
"You didn't really think I wouldn't get you for that, did you?" Hades grinned again. He was definitely enjoying himself more than usual.
"I didn't think you knew how to throw a snowball," Belle remarked, startled.
"Trust me, babe, when it comes to games, you don't want to go against me," He grinned again and started to chase after Belle. For once, he felt free. He hadn't played in the snow in a long time, and not ever with someone. He had always been alone. Finally, he caught up to Belle and held her close, twirling her around. He forgot himself for a moment, not remembering that Belle may or may not feel the same way about him. As he was about to let go of her, she leaned in and smiled. The two of them leaned in close. Just as they were about to kiss, Hades stopped. He still wasn't sure if she loved or could love him.
"We should get back. I'm sure the others are wondering where we went," Slowly, he let go of Belle.
"Yes, you're right. We should." Belle sighed sadly. If only this moment could have lasted forever. She missed the warm feeling of being in his arms, once again. It seemed like he had wanted to kiss her too, but neither of them had wanted to take the chance.
Despite a slight amount of disappointment for both of them, it had been one of the most wonderful days the two of them had ever had. The day coming in second only to the time Hades had given Belle the library. They had played in the snow for hours, smiling and laughing the entire time, as if there were no one else in the world but them. At times, Hades wished it was only the two of them. He also wished he wasn't so much of a coward. If only he could tell Belle that he loved her.
But the next day was nowhere near that wonderful. Belle wanted to decorate the Underworld for Christmas, which is what she would have asked him to help with if he hadn't agreed to let her see the snow. Decorating for Christmas would definitely make the Underworld look less gloomy and it would give her a chance to tell Hades (or at least try to tell him) about how she was beginning to feel towards him, if she could gather up the courage to do so. It seemed like he cared for her, though. She knew that he had wanted to kiss her the day before. Why hadn't he?
Hercules had always said that it would be impossible for Hades to care about anyone but himself, or at least feel anything except anger, but Belle now knew that he was wrong. Since the night Hades had rescued her, he had been nothing but kind and gentle towards her (aside the fireball incident), but he seemed constantly ashamed of himself. Did he not think that he was worthy enough to deserve her friendship or her love? He had changed so much since she first met him, it was hard to believe that he still thought that he was such an awful person.
Belle decided that she would ask him at breakfast this morning. Maybe some yuletide festivities would cheer Hades up. After they had spent the day together yesterday and it was time for dinner, Hades had left abruptly and not joined her in the dining hall, and she had missed him terribly. But when Belle showed up for breakfast, he wasn't there. Rhea was the only one at breakfast, but she had told Belle that Hades could be found in the throne room.
When Belle entered the room, he was staring gloomily at his chess board. But he smiled a little the moment he heard her come in, but also seemed nervous. Belle braced herself before telling him of her request. After all, what was the worst that he could say?
"Absolutely NOT!" Hades stormed and started to walk away from Belle. His flames flared briefly to a bright orange, then changed back to blue when he was in calm again. She noticed that a few flames shot up from his hair. That part obviously hadn't changed. Not another person mentioning Christmas. Meg had mentioned it a few times during the years she worked for him, but he had always refused. That had been mostly due to him being a villain and not wanting to give presents to anyone. He also thought that the traditions were useless. But he had never refused Belle anything before. And she definitely wasn't Meg. She was much better, and kinder too. And she cared for him, he was sure of it. If only he hadn't been such a coward yesterday, he might have known for sure.
She never asked for anything, except for the chance to spend time with him and send letters to her father, which he did his best to send. Having Pain and Panic manage the mail system was probably not his best idea. Since there were no guarantees on arrival. How could he deny her such an innocent request? But Christmas wasn't so innocent and perfect, not for him at least. As much as he wanted to tell Belle the truth about that day, he had never been able to mention it to her. What happened between him and Aphrodite had been painful and had taken him centuries to mostly recover from. He still wasn't sure that he was completely over it now either. He knew that wasn't fair to Belle, but it was hard to leave the past behind him.
Even though the other gods were unaware of the holiday, it had been on Christmas Day that Aphrodite had broken his heart and his villainous transformation had begun. From that day on, he had sworn to forget about Christmas. He hadn't even told his mother about the holiday. He hated yelling at Belle, but this was something he would never do. Belle had no idea what it was to hurt like this and it was a foolish day to begin with. No wonder no one in Greece celebrated it, which made him very curious as to how Meg had known about it in the first place. Now he knew the answer to that. Knowing about Meg's family shed a lot of light on some things.
"Why not? We had so much fun yesterday, I thought that maybe you would want to spend time with me again today."
"I do want to spend time with you, but I'm sorry, Belle. I can't explain why this is an impossible wish. But you're welcome to ask for almost anything else and I'll give it to you."
"I don't want anything else, Hades. I just want to celebrate Christmas with you. How can you know if you'll enjoy it or not if you've never experienced it?"
"I just know, and I don't want to hear another word about it!" The flames on his hair started to turn a shade of orange, and Belle knew that it was best to leave the conversation at that.
Hades stormed out of the room and slammed the door, leaving a small scorched trail behind him. How dare she think that she can convince me to celebrate Christmas? I refuse to be reminded of that torturous experience ever again!
Hades went to the West Tower, only to find his mother in his room holding his magic mirror and looking sadly at him. When he looked in the mirror, he saw that Belle was crying softly in her room. Once again, he had made a fool of himself. But this time, he didn't have a choice.
"Mother, I know what you're thinking. That I'm being selfish, but this is the one thing I can't give her. If only things weren't so complicated right now."
"I never said that you were selfish. But I do think that you're being stubborn. I don't understand why you can't just put the past behind you. Aphrodite chose someone else, Hades. You need to move on from that, and besides, now you have a chance to fall in love with someone else. Why ruin things with Belle because of something so silly? I saw what almost happened yesterday."
Hades looked away nervously before abruptly switching subjects. The last conversation he wanted to have right now was his almost-kiss with Belle. He was still thinking about that moment. Once again, the past was controlling him.
"You think what Aphrodite did to me was silly?"
"No, I think what you're doing right now is. There's a difference. I'm sure Belle will understand if you just tell her. She cares about you, maybe even loves you. I can see that very clearly."
"I can't risk it. I won't lose her because of another mistake I made."
"But you might lose her because of another mistake you will make." Rhea sighed, wishing that Hades would just talk to her, instead of assuming she didn't understand anything. She knew that he wouldn't be able to talk with Belle like that. She understood more than he assumed.
"This conversation is over, Mother. I don't know why you're standing up for such a dumb holiday. You don't even know what Christmas is."
"I know that it's important to Belle. Isn't that what matters the most?"
"I can't give Belle everything she wants. Someday she'll understand that."
But deep in his heart, Hades knew that his mother was right. The fact that Christmas meant so much to Belle normally would have outweighed everything else. But this time was different. He was just beginning to heal and fall in love again. Belle meant everything to him. He loved her, no doubts whatsoever. But he had been a coward before, he just didn't have the courage to say what needed to be said.
Even though Hades had said no, Belle refused to give up. He needed the joy of Christmas more than he thought he did. His mother needed joy too. She wished more than anything for them to be happy once again. She also wished that her father could be here with her and see how kind Hades was, but she tried to be content knowing he was alive and healthy. She also hoped he was receiving the letters, but like Hades had said, there were no guarantees that the letters would be delivered. At least he tried, though.
Belle decided that if she was going to get ready for Christmas, with or without Hades' approval, she was going to need a lot of help. Even if Pain, Panic, and Rhea knew nothing about Christmas, they could still be very helpful. Besides, with Hades so angry now, it would be good to have some more cheerful company.
Belle found all three of them in the library. Rhea was reading by the fireplace and Pain and Panic were trying to reach the top shelves to dust the books, a new order from Hades that the library must remain spotless for Belle.
"Good morning, Belle!" Pain and Panic said simultaneously before falling off the ladder. Belle immediately rushed over to help, but she ended up laughing instead. Pain and Panic's tails were wrapped around each other, causing the two to be stuck.
"Did you need something, dear?" Rhea asked, always happy to see Belle. She was extremely grateful to Belle for helping her son turn into a kind man again, one who actually cared about people again and was less cruel. But there were still times where Hades would lose his temper and yell and use his flames. A habit that she wished he would learn to break so that they didn't have to replace furniture all the time. She couldn't fix everything.
"Yes, I do. I was hoping that the three of you could help me decorate the Underworld for Christmas."
"That depends. When is this Christmas you're mentioning, and what did the boss say when you asked?" Panic asked.
"December 25th. I know it's just a couple of weeks from now, but I'm sure we could get everything done in time. And to answer your other question, well, he refused. And burned a few things."
"Not again!" shouted Rhea, then continued, "I need to have a word with him about that. Then again, as if he would actually listen to me."
"Anyway, sorry Belle, but we can't. The boss would never allow it. That day is too painful for him." Panic said, not wishing to be tortured by Hades for celebrating a day that was emotionally scarring and physically scarring for them. However, they weren't sure what had actually happened.
"What happened to him? All I know about that day is it makes him angry, but I don't understand why. He hasn't gotten that mad in a long time." Belle said, saddened that there was yet another event that had hurt Hades. Hadn't anyone ever been kind to him?
"He didn't tell you?" Rhea asked.
"No. He just told me never to mention it again. Do you know what happened?"
"Yes, but it's not my place to tell you. Hades should tell you himself." Rhea said, knowing that most likely he never would. Hades was nothing if not stubborn.
"Doesn't he trust me?"
"It's not an issue of trust, dear. He just doesn't want to be hurt again."
Belle walked slowly back to her room, as if in a daze. After all this time, Hades still didn't trust her. She wasn't like the others who had run away in fear. Well, originally, she had run away, but she chose to stay. She cared about him, maybe even loved him, and wanted him to be happy. Well, I still think Christmas will cheer him up. I'll decorate the Underworld myself (which is easier said than done). The first thing I need is a Yule Log.
Back in the library, Pain and Panic were trying very hard to imagine this new holiday known as Christmas.
"Why don't we just ask her?" Pain asked, his curiosity beginning to get the best of him.
"Because we shouldn't know about in the first place. I for one am not willing to get fried again just because someone new doesn't know the rules of this place." Panic said, wanting to hear no more about Christmas. If Hades wouldn't allow it, then that should have been the end of the conversation. Why was it no one listened to him? It would definitely keep him and Pain from getting into more trouble with the boss.
"It's not Belle's fault. She just wants to make the boss happy. I think we should help her. Don't you think so, Lady Rhea?" Pain said, determined to save Hades from dying. If Belle couldn't fall in love with him, all would be lost. If Hades died, the Underworld could fall into the hands of Hecate and that would surely be the end of everything they knew, and chaos would reign everywhere.
Hecate was Hades' worst enemy besides Hercules. She was determined to take over the Underworld and become its ruler. Hades refused to give in to her; he was the rightful ruler of the Underworld whether he wanted the responsibility or not and no one would ever take his place. Deep down, he generally cared about the Underworld and its inhabitants.
"As much as I agree with you. It's not my place to get involved in this argument and you two shouldn't either. I don't want Belle or anyone else to get hurt just because of an impossible dream." Rhea was tired of trying to change her son's mind about forgetting about Aphrodite. He refused to move on from his first love. But was he so willing to lose another possible love? Sure, there was no one else like Aphrodite, but there wasn't anyone like Belle either.
While Panic was contemplating joining Belle in her quest, Belle decided to begin her search for the perfect Yule Log. It had to be just the right size and it couldn't be just any log. Belle had no idea where to look for a log though. She had only seen one fireplace in the palace, just a few doors down from her room, where she had dressed Hades' wounds just two months ago. Time seemed to have flown by so quickly. Just then, she saw Panic racing towards her.
"Belle, if it's alright with you, I want to help with this thing you call Christmas." Panic said, even though he knew it would only hurt him later. But the pain would be worth it if Belle could save Hades.
"Are you sure? I'll be in enough trouble with Hades as it is for this. I wouldn't want you to get hurt too."
"I'm used to it. And I'm willing to take that chance if it means making him happy for once. So, what do we need to do first?"
"Do you have any ideas where we can find a log? I'm sure you and Pain have been in every room of this palace." Belle said.
"Yeah, I do know a good place actually. The boiler room."
"The boiler room? You mean just like the ones in a traditional castle?"
"Yeah, it's the same kind. But we've never used it. No one gets cold here except mortals and they're already dead, so it doesn't matter. But there are lots of firewood logs in there."
"Alright then. Let's go look!" First, Belle went to her room to find a cape, since Panic had said it would be extremely cold. Then, as the two of them started towards the boiler room, Pain came up to them, along with Rhea.
"We've changed our minds. Can we still help with Christmas?" Pain asked.
"Sure, but I thought that none of you wanted to get involved with this." Belle said, confused. Both of them had been very clear about not wanting to anger Hades.
"I didn't originally. But I'm sure you have a very good reason for wanting to have this holiday. And that's good enough for me. So, could you tell me more about this holiday?"
Belle was happy to explain her favorite holiday to them and began to describe the wonders and joys of Christmas. She spoke of the tree with its many ornaments, garlands, and tinsel. And the wonderful dinners and thousands of presents that were wrapped and put under the tree and the generosity of Santa Clause. She also mentioned the mistletoe and the tradition of a Christmas kiss underneath it. The best part was when she told Panic about the traditional carols, stories, and the Yule Log.
"The Yule Log was always my favorite part of Christmas. Panic suggested that we could find one in the boiler room."
"Well, alright. But we should hurry. It's almost time for dinner and if you're late, Hades will know something is going on." Rhea said, concerned for Belle.
All of them rushed off towards the boiler room to begin their search. But none of them had known that Hades had heard everything and was angrier than ever. He ran off to the boiler room as well. I won't get hurt again at this holiday, no matter how good Belle says her intentions are.
Belle shivered the moment she stepped into the boiler room. It was a good thing she had decided to put on her cape. Suddenly, Panic tapped her on the arm and pointed towards the corner.
"Those are the logs. None of them have ever been used before."
The four of them went over to the logs and began looking for the perfect log. They would each present a log to Belle for her approval. But none of the logs were it so far. Just as Belle was about to give up she noticed a log on top of the pile. It was small, yet elegant in its own way. It was the perfect Yule Log. Belle climbed on top of the other logs and grabbed the one on top.
"This is perfect, everyone! We've finally found it!" Belle exclaimed, not noticing that someone was right behind her.
"Found what?" Hades asked, angrily, knowing perfectly well what it was they had found.
"Nothing. I didn't hear you come in, Hades." Belle said, hiding the log behind her, but Hades could tell she was nervous.
"This isn't nothing. I know exactly what this is. Belle, I told you I want nothing to do with Christmas, so just forget about it!"
"Why? What happened?"
"Nothing you would understand. You have no idea what it's like to lose everything. To be a…"
"Prisoner? The only one holding us prisoner here is you! But I'm not giving up. You may have lost all hope, but I haven't!" Belle raced out of the room and down the hallway, crying.
"I hope you're happy, Hades. Now you have not only hurt Belle, but you've hurt me too." Rhea said, disappointed in her son for continuing to let the past hurt him and for being so selfish.
"Mother, you know I'm right. Belle doesn't understand."
"She understands more than you think. I would suggest apologizing to her unless you want to lose her too. Hades, I don't want you to die." Rhea said sadly.
"It doesn't matter. I am going to die because I can never change. No matter what I do I'll never be good enough for her or anyone else. I've already let you down too many times." Hades walked down the hallway and towards his room, but then he heard Belle crying.