Clandestine

It was far too cold to be out on the balcony, but Anna didn't care. She needed air. She needed an escape.

Inside…

Well, inside she didn't trust herself. There were too many places a person—or couple—could sneak off to, too many unused rooms, ignored by the other party guests, perfect for a clandestine meeting. And she couldn't risk that now that he was here.

No, better to be safe outside, away from temptation. Perhaps the frigid night air would bring her back to her senses. Because if only catching his eye from across the room—and nothing more, had caused her this much of a moral crisis, there was absolutely something wrong with her.

They had only locked eyes for a moment, but a moment was all that was needed for it to all come flooding back to her. The charm, the excitement, the romance, the desire…the danger. It wasn't supposed to be like this, seeing him again. She was supposed to be indifferent. He was supposed to mean nothing to her. She had built a life for herself without him. A good, happy life. And yet, once their eyes had met, she would have given it all up in an instant for another chance with him.

It was alarming how quickly the thought had surfaced, and she tore her gaze from his in an attempt to subdue the guilt. By the time she'd looked back to him, he was nowhere to be found. Probably for the best. She wondered if any of her family had spied him yet. She looked for Elsa, always the easier one to find, and spotted her engaged in conversation with their host. Anna bit her lip, best not to bother Elsa when she was busy being 'Queen Elsa'.

Anna hesitated in searching out Kristoff. She felt like if she did, he would somehow know what she'd been thinking. Like he'd be able to read her guilt before she had even done anything wrong. And it wasn't like she had done anything wrong. She'd simply caught the gaze of a man she had loved in the past, and then maybe briefly fantasized about him. Still, it was enough to rattle her.

At least the empty balcony was quiet. It was much too cold for any guests to venture outside, and for those who did, it was briefly. Really, the only person who would spend more than a few minutes out here without shivering to death was Elsa. Anna rubbed her hands over her arms, trying to keep warm. She should have brought her shawl with her. Too late now, better to risk a cold than to run into him inside.

Movement on the far side of the balcony caught her attention, and she realized she was not alone out here. Someone else had sought out the balcony for solace. She immediately felt as though she was intruding, and was about to leave when the figure moved from the shadows and into the moonlight.

Oh no.

There was no mistaking that tall frame, that muscular build, that buttocks…Hans. She had come out here deliberately to avoid running into him. And it seemed she had done the exact opposite, and had successfully placed herself alone with him. He hadn't turned his attention towards her, so it was unlikely he realized she was here. If she could just turn around quietly and make her way back to the party—oh no. Her nose tickled. Her eyes watered.

Oh no, no, no!

Before she could stop herself, she sneezed.

He pulled out of his lean against the railing and whirled around, catching sight of her instantly. "Anna?"

He looked stunning in the moonlight. Far better than anything she could conjure up in her imagination. He'd always been handsome, but time had been inexplicably kind to him, age making him unbearably attractive. How long had it been now? Five years? Six?

"I…uh…" She faltered. Words failing her miserably. She couldn't think straight with those striking eyes now focused on her. "Needed some air."

"God, you're shivering." He was already advancing towards her, removing his tailcoat. Before she could say another word, he was draping his tailcoat over her shoulders. "Let's get you back inside—"

"No!" The word sprang forth and Hans pulled back from her. Kristoff would be a nightmare if he saw her entering with Hans while wrapped in his coat. "I'm fine, really. It was much too hot inside, I felt faint…still feel faint."

"Oh." Concern flickered across his features, and he ushered her to a nearby stone bench. "Sit down then, take a moment." He was being far too polite, and much more gentlemanly than she remembered him. Age and wisdom perhaps.

She sat down, enveloped in his coat, his body heat and scent lingering on the fabric. She breathed in deeply with a sigh. "You still smell like cinnamon."

His cheeks flushed scarlet. "And you, citrus." He sat down beside her. "I admit I had wondered when I caught sight of you—"

"Me too."

They laughed. It was almost like old times.

He turned to her, his eyes intense. "I trust you got my letters?"

Anna nodded. "I'm…I'm sorry I never wrote back."

"No, no." His hand waved apologetically. "I never expected you to, not after…everything." He sighed. "I had written to…well, to let you know I was sorry…and trying to be better. Honestly, I didn't think I'd ever see you again."

She laughed and gave a small shrug. "And here I am."

"Yes." He smiled, his gaze softening, his tone dipping to a husky timbre. "Here you are."

She glanced away nervously, looking down at her hands. She should not be out here alone with him. Not while she still had feelings for him. At this rate, she was liable to say something stupid. Do something stupid. She brought her fingers up to her mouth to breathe warm air onto them, trying to distract herself from just how close Hans was sitting. The warmth of his body radiated against her, making her shiver unexpectedly. He had always been rather warm, hadn't he? She had missed that. Oh, how she had missed him.

"Here, let me," he said rubbing his hands together briskly, leaning in to encase her hands in his. "It's the least I can—" He stopped, his words falling short when he met her eyes.

She drew in a breath. It was there as clear as day in his gaze. Desire.

Even now. After all this time.

As if on instinct, she tilted her head sideways, bringing her face to his. It was foolish to put herself in such a position, especially after the last time, when he'd denied her all those years ago.

He didn't deny her this time, and his mouth fell upon hers in savage desperation. She responded in kind. Neediness consuming her. She'd spent years imagining this kiss. Even when she had been determined to strike Hans from her memories for good, the kiss always remained. The question always present.

Nothing had prepared her for this though. Not the countless fantasies, not the many kisses she'd shared with Kristoff…nothing compared to this moment here, out in the bitter cold, secluded on a balcony in a foreign land with Hans capturing her mouth with his. How could something so wrong feel so right?

He moaned her name between excited kisses, his breath hot against her lips as he pulled her forward and onto his lap. And she went to him, knowing full well that she should pull away, and end this now. Except nothing aside from being interrupted by some interloper could stop her from meeting his lips, his embrace, from him. This had been years in the making. Years.

And finally, it had reached the boiling point, neither daring to say it out loud, and neither daring to break apart, yet both absolutely willing to accept it. It had always been there, rumbling between them like an undercurrent, the red sting of fate having tied them together years ago waiting for this exact moment, this exact scenario when it would all come together with the intensity of a geyser erupting.

Before she knew it, she had one hand in his hair, gripping him firmly, mauling his scalp, and the other moving purposefully to his groin. If anyone came upon them…

But none of that mattered, because in his kiss, in his arms, the risk was worth it. This brief moment in time had been everything she had been hoping for and more. She ached for him, and knew full well that had she come across him inside, they would be in one of those empty rooms consummating their passion without a second thought. But out here in the cold, they were restrained and could only go so far.

She palmed his length over the thick wool of his trousers, his moan of approval lost in her mouth as his tongue furiously sparred with hers in an attempt to satisfy his need to consume all of her. His hands roamed up and down her sides, grabbing a breast and fondling it here, gripping her buttocks tightly there. It was maddening. Had it not been for the weather, she'd have lain back on this stone bench and let him take her right there, under the stars, mere footsteps away from the ballroom full of oblivious party guests with the cacophony of chatter and laughter in the background of their clandestine love making.

But such a feat was not meant to be.

"Anna? Has anyone seen Anna?" She heard Kristoff's voice over the din of people inside.

Hans heard it too, and he pulled away with much regret, gently setting Anna off his lap and back onto the bench. "You look like you've had enough fresh air," he said quietly, straightening out her hair, his fingers brushing the loose strands back behind her ears.

"Hans—"

He smiled sadly, and cut her words off with one last kiss upon the tip of her nose. He then retrieved his coat from her shoulders and stood up. He gave her a courtly bow. "Your husband is calling for you. Mustn't keep him waiting."