America is supposed to be the Land of the Free, where its citizens have Freedom of Speech, Freedom of Assembly, and Freedom of the Press. Most would agree that this is a good thing, but it does have a downside. When people are free to voice their opinions publically, especially in the Age of Information, some rather nasty things about government officials are said, get spread rather quickly, and like a game of "whisper down the alley", are distorted.
Take Henry Kissinger, the Secretary of State under Nixon and Ford. Claims were made that he was secretly a Zionist infiltrator, controlling Nixon and the next eight Presidents like puppets, and the leader of the New World Order, Bilderberg meetings and/or the Trilateral Commission. These rumors paint him as quite an evil man for a Nobel Peace Prize recipient.
Then there's George Soros. Conservatives made claimed he was controlling the entire liberal media, a bankroller for Communist governments, a greedy corporate shark who broke the Bank of England for selfish reasons, a doomsayer using the myth of global warming to scare people, and done many other immoral things. (Liberals were just as bad; they made similar claims about the Koch Brothers.)
When the news broke that the Navy SEALS had finally killed Osama Bin Laden, some Americans were skeptical. Some wouldn't be convinced without seeing the corpse (despite the controversy years earlier, when the bloody, mutilated bodies of Saddam Hussein's sons were shown to the public as proof they were dead). Some doubters claimed that Bin Laden had actually been killed years ago, his body put on ice, and his swift burial at sea was done to prevent "independent examination". (Despite his identity being confirmed by facial recognition and DNA samples. Oddly enough, no-one ever doubted the death of Saddam Hussein or any other dictator. Maybe Seth Meyers said it best: "Barrack Obama will go down in history as the first black person ever to have to prove that he killed someone.")
Now, I'm not saying Freedom of Speech and the Press is wrong. But maybe widespread conspiracy theories is a price that must be paid for freedom that even America's Founding Fathers didn't consider.
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Chapter Twenty-Four
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Only the Good Die Young
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Many teenagers who went to school and adults who worked the standard five-day week thought Monday was the worst day to wake up on.
But in many ways, Wednesday was a close second. Wednesday was a day that where you were already tired from working Monday and Tuesday, but the weekend was still two days away.
And this Wednesday, most folks who were involved with the chaos of yesterday slept late, some wondering where this left them.
Cattivo Fanciullo woke up pretty early, however. He sat in his office, looking at that journal with the seemingly blank pages. He just knew that Hood had targeted them over this…
What are you trying to tell me? he thought, looking at words he couldn't see. What are you saying that someone would kill for?
And that girl… Who is she?
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At eleven o'clock, on the other side of the world, in Los Angelis, things started to get busy at a Pandora's Box, as they always did when they switched to the lunch menu.
Most of the employees in the popular fantasy-themed fast food chain were Shadows, as were many of the customers. Still, it served the same purpose as any restaurant of the sort – a place to get a fast burger or chicken wings when you were in a hurry, or a place to entertain the kids.
The two cashiers both appeared as typical teenagers to the untrained eye, and most Mundane customers would assume they were minimum wage employees doing it for extra money. Well, only the second part was true. One of them was a goblin – Bert was the name he used around humans – who had been here about six months. The other cashier was a female… Well, Bert wasn't sure what she was, although human wasn't an option; all he knew was, Eden had been hired two months ago.
She looked more human than Bert did, on the surface, but had grey skin and thick, long, black hair that seemed like it would be hard to cut.
Then there were her eyes. They seemed normal enough at first, but if you spoke to her for more than five minutes or so, they started to change, turning into dark, black pools with an almost hypnotic pull. It wasn't a pleasurable experience either; looking into her eyes often brought back sad and tragic memories from the past, causing sudden bouts of melancholy and depression.
Fortunately, Eden rarely spoke to anyone that long. She usually kept to herself. But even when you looked at her without speaking to her, a feeling of gloom seemed to hang over her like a cloak. She rarely smiled, often sighed when she spoke, and some employees could swear they saw a tear fall down her cheek every once in a while. Trying to ask her what the matter was almost always met with a quiet, "I'm okay, thank you for asking." (She seemed very polite, despite this dour mood.)
At the front of the line was a figure who would have been one to draw attention even if he was human. Bulky and swaddled in loose fitting, garish attire consisting of a trench coat, a handmade scarf with Christmas trees adorning it, parachute pants and a straw hat, it was a wonder they hadn't committed a dress code violation.
However, golems were hardly inconspicuous in general, and even among Aware could make people uneasy, so to Scraps, the most obvious solution seemed to be to wear a disguise so as not to alarm the locals. Beneath his coat was a hodge-podge of mechanical components cobbled together making him resemble some distant cousin of Junk Warrior.
Whether it was actually working, of course, was anyone's guess, but he seemed satisfied that thus far the only attention he seemed to be drawing were a few craned necks and second glances, his lenses fixed on Eden as she handed him a greasy paper bag.
"Here's the usual Scraps," she said as his gloved hands carefully opened the bag to verify everything was in order. "You know it would save Damian some time if he simply came and picked up his food himself instead of having you run back and forth."
"A valid point ma'am," replied Scraps. "Sadly Damian is currently averse to being seen in public until the side effects of the hex he was hit with during our case last week has dispersed enough that he no longer possesses tusks... or at least until the amount of nostril hair he possesses returns to a socially acceptable minimum."
Eden didn't quite manage a smile, but it was impressive to see her try as hard as she did if you had known her for as long as Scraps had. "At least he knows you won't swipe half his fries on the way home like Angua did last time she picked up for him."
She watched as he turned and walked away. A stranger world than this, I fear I have yet to visit, she thought.
"May I help you?" she said to the next customer.
"Ah, yes," said the man. "Do you still have that sourdough mushroom Swiss burger?"
"Yes, we…" started Eden. She looked up. "…have it until Sunday…"
Bert was a little surprised. Eden's usual depressed look had suddenly turned into one that seemed to be suppressing rage. She was looking the customer directly in the eye, a tall man with grey hair, a pencil-thin moustache, and blue eyes, dressed in an expensive-looking suit.
"Very well, I'll have that, one large order of fries, one large order of onion rings, and a medium-sized Diet Coke," he continued, as she slowly rang up the order. He chuckled a little. "I know, that will really help me lose weight, right?"
Eden looked at him hard. Clearly, something inside her was reaching a boiling point.
"Will Diet Pepsi be okay?" she finally asked.
"Eh? Oh, sure," he said.
"Your total comes to $15.53," she said, slowly.
When he had finally left the counter, she let out a long breath and leaned on her arm. She pulled a napkin out a dispenser and wiped her brow.
"You know that guy Eden?" asked Bert.
"Unfortunately," she said, with a nod.
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Again, we must fast forward the clock, as we move to the East Coast.
At eleven AM local time, three hours later than the just-described confrontation in Los Angeles, Sofia was standing in front of a restaurant that looked a lot more formal. Which was more than she could say about its surroundings.
Atlantic City had pretty-much been built with tourism in mind. It was a throwback to the era where a town by the sea at the end point of a railway was an idea vacation spot for city dwellers… An era that ended when automobiles, cheap air travel, and suburbia became common concepts.
The city's downfall started in 1964 when it hosted the Democrat National Convention; the Convention was a success, but the whole country got to see how bad the city had become, its once-lavish hotels converted into cheap apartments to make ends meet.
Since then, Atlantic City had been in a state of slow urban decay, barely propped up by legalized gambling. The casinos were still there (well, most of them) but had suffered due to competition from the ones on reservations in the surrounding states, and many of them had been taken over by the criminal gangs who controlled Pittsburg. These days, Atlantic City seemed well on the same path, with adult-only nightclubs, seedy bars, and houses of ill-repute soiling the scenery.
Still, the Mandarin Sun seemed like a respectable place; Chinese food, obviously, given the oriental letters and the lamps. She took a breath, straightened her jeans, and walked inside.
The door jingled as she did. The smell of incense filled the dining room, and there were no customers, but then, it was early. A woman stood behind the maître d' counter; she was tall, with long, brunette, straight hair, with Chinese features, wearing a long, scarlet dress with gold trim and a plunging neckline. She would have been rather attractive if not for her rather… grim expression. Sofia could tell just by looking at her that she didn't like her.
"Yes?" she said coldly, looking at Sofia.
Sofia had known this woman about ten seconds, and she already didn't like her. Still, she wasn't about to make this a wasted trip.
"I'm looking for someone named Ferdinand," said Sofia.
The lady's expression turned to one of surprise, then quickly turned to a smile.
"I was told he was a frequent customer?"
"Why yes, yes he is," said the woman. She stepped out from behind the counter. Sofia noticed that she had tapped something under it first. "Are you a friend of his?"
"Well, I'm…" said Sofia.
The next second two huge arms grabbed her from behind.
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At that moment, in Los Angeles, which means three hours after the "incident" with the customer, Eden shoved her uniform into a duffel bag, clocked out to mark the end of her shift, and marched out the front door of the restaurant.
She took a piece of Bazooka bubble gum from her pocket, sighed a little, and then unwrapped it. She chewed this stuff for the same reason baseball players did – it helped her relax in a stressful situation.
Let's get this over with, she thought.
She popped it in her mouth and started to chew as she walked into the parking lot. He was there, leaning against a car and scribbling something down on a notebook.
Waiting three hours, she thought. The man has the patience of Job…
"Surprised to see you here, Matt," she said.
"Don't call me that," he said, the smile fading.
"Ugh, don't tell me you're still using that lame stage name," she moaned. "Why not bring the whole costume while you're at it?"
She smiled slightly, as if doing so took effort.
"How the mighty have fallen," she continued, shaking her head. "Mathmatica… Once the number ten ranked duelist in the Pro League…"
"…AND world-class mathematical genius!" he added, lifting his finger.
"Yeah, and that was your whole problem, Commander Bragg," she said. She leaned back on another car. "Ever hear the old saying 'pride goeth before the fall?' When you start acting like an egotistical blowhard who knows everything, you're going to make a fool of yourself eventually. And in the Pro Leagues, that's not a risk you can take."
"Now listen here…" he snapped, getting upset again. "You think I expected to lose to Tarzan?" His brow furrowed as he clenched his fist. "A Master's Degree in advanced mathematics, a promising career in the Pro Circuit, and I lose to the biggest abuser of the 'Miracle Asspull Draw' since the original King of Games..."
Eden couldn't help but arch an eyebrow hearing this. 'Asspull' was a rather unflattering term used to describe what more optimistic duelists referred to as 'Heart of the Cards'. Many of the greatest duelists in history had been accused of it in one degree or another, recently Yusei Fudo had become particularly popular to associate the term with, given that according to the results of most of his duels, his deck was not only over forty percent trap cards (typical of serious Turbo Duelists, actually), but mainly ones whose use would be suspect in any situation but the one they conveniently appeared to bail him out of a situation.
"You didn't lose to Tarzan," she snarked, "if he somehow showed up, that would have helped your career." Her tone turned serious quickly. "First of all, at least that guy risked hypothermia, exposure to the elements, malnutrition, and the gods only know what else to get as good as he was with an unorthodox strategy.
"Second, isn't that the way it goes in the Pro Leagues? Careers start and end at the drop of a hat, and you still wound up in better shape than most of the Pros who were invited to the Genex Tournament. I can't even remember the name of that sad sack Manjoume trounced in one turn."
"Eh?" asked Mathmatica. "Oh yes, the guy with the off the rack suit and the Marshmallon. All valid points, but once you get a taste for the spotlight do you think it's given up so easily?"
"So you think that justifies sinking as low as you have just to be somebody again?" Eden said, her eyes narrowing.
A dark look crossed over Mathematica's face. "You're hardly in a position to make accusations when you're in the same boat as I am. The only difference between us is, I stopped caring who I stepped on to move forward a long time ago..."
She paused, and blew a bubble with her gum. After it popped, she went on. "So, dare I ask what your stake in this is now?"
"Access to the Library of Regulus," he replied.
"Mmph!" she squeaked, trying hard to stifle a laugh.
"What's so funny?" he said, annoyed. "Name one scholar of my caliber who wouldn't give his front teeth for ten minutes in that place!"
"I can't, genius," she said, giggling for the first time in a very long time, "but your front teeth wouldn't be worth enough if they were made of solid gold.
"You really think they can get you in? The red tape you'd need to get through simply to talk to the guy who can put you on the waiting list has been known to confuse accountants who work for Microsoft."
"Look, I don't think it's any of your business," he replied. "The important thing is, I have this…"
He opened his coat, flashing a small, silver badge-like object the size of a quarter.
"…and you've got until the New Year to complete your end of your contract. How far along are you, anyway?"
"Eighty-three," she replied. Noting his stunned expression, she nodded and went on. "I'm doing pretty well, considering most of you folks make me come to them, and I can only come on my days off so I can work at this grease pit to make ends meet. They offer employee discounts, thank goodness, and the salad bar is somewhat better than the rest of the junk.
"In fact, I brought the number up from eighty just a few days ago… In Europe. One guy offered to make it eighty-four, but that was the strange part, he didn't want to duel me…"
"What…" started Mathmatica.
Suddenly, Eden grabbed him by the collar and slammed him against the car.
"Who was Antoine?" she demanded.
"N-no idea!" he protested. "Can you describe him?"
"Oh, he's kind of hard to miss," replied Eden. "Big afro, platform shoes, clothes that are decades out of style… Thing is, he took a more direct approach."
"Y-you were mugged?" he asked, nervously.
"Yeah, and I believe that's not allowed," she replied, with a nod.
"Look, look, I can't control what the others do!" protested Mathmatica. "I certainly can't control what…"
He stopped, shivering a little. He was about to say a name, but couldn't say it.
Eden sighed again and let go of him. She knew the name anyway. And she doubted this guy would turn stool-pigeon on BW if anyone else had violated the terms. Still, it was worth a try.
She knew BW wanted the journal. She wasn't naïve enough to think there was any other reason they had let her go at all with this stupid contract she had to fulfill; they knew she'd lead them to it sooner or later. She knew she had to get that book away from her and into the hands of someone trustworthy.
Unfortunately, despite Fanciullo's help, she doubted he fit the bill. She had spent the nights since that day hoping that the journal was at least now in the hands of a lesser evil…
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Speak of the devil: In Florence, Fanciullo looked up as someone knocked on his door. "Enter," he said.
"Boss," said Nitro, as the door opened and he walked in. "It wasn't exactly a dance around the maypole, but by rerouting the signal through a few seldom-used servers in Budapest, Riyadh, and Kathmandu…"
"Stop telling me how you did it and tell me what you did!" demanded Fanciullo.
Nitro shuddered and yanked his collar.
"I was able to hack into the files of the League of Assassins and go through them," he started. "A member who seems a lot like Hood is mentioned. A former member."
"Former member?" asked Fanciullo.
"Well, ah, this kid who fits her description joined up with them about four years ago," continued Nitro. "Quite a few of the murders that we found out about during the two years after that are mentioned.
"By the end of her second year with them, she was their highest paid assassin. The best they had. But then she quit."
"Quit?" asked Fanciullo. "That's ridiculous, you can't 'quit' the League of Assassins, they won't let you. The members know too much."
"Well, their current records list her as 'whereabouts unknown'," said Nitro. He tugged on his collar again. "Eight of their other highest paid assassins from the year she, uhm, quit are listed as… dead."
"Well, that's one way to quit, I guess…" muttered Fanciullo. He leaned his head backwards on his chair.
"I couldn't look up her personal information, it was classified," muttered. Nitro. "I'm sorry, I'm not as good as…"
He quickly caught himself.
"That's okay, Nitro," sighed the Don. "It was nobody's fault, really…" He clenched his fist. "If only I had gotten there on time… How could someone have sabotaged the teleportation grid?"
"You know, that is strange…" muttered Nitro. "We'd all have gotten there right before she sprung her trap, and…"
"Wait, wait…" said Fanciullo. He stood up. "Nitro… You're a genius…"
"Uh… Thank you?" asked Nitro.
Fanciullo rubbed his chin for a minute. Then he started to pace. "Hood planned to ambush me and Tranello at the same time," he mused. "Keeping you guys away made sense… But making me run through half of Paris and get there too late… That seems wrong…"
He stopped in mid-pace. "Making me late hindered her plans!"
"Wha, what are you sayin', boss?" asked Nitro.
His boss looked up at him. "Hood didn't cause the teleporter to malfunction," he whispered. "She didn't want it too. At least not that way. Someone else did. And the fact that it did may be the only reason I'm alive right now…"
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Meanwhile, Eden was standing five meters from Mathmatica, both of them having activated their Duel Disks. Eden spit her gum out.
"You know, Mathmatica, you puzzle me," she said.
(Eden: 8,000) - - - - - - - - - - (Mathmatica: 8,000)
"If you were truly the mathematical genius you claim to be, you wouldn't have had to do this. I mean, if there are some jobs that will never go obsolete, and an accountant is one of them."
"Yeah, yeah, I could have had a safe, secure, nine-to-five job with benefits and a retirement plan," muttered Mathmatica. "Go to some office to crunch numbers every day, always wear a tie to work…"
"You're wearing a tie now," interrupted Eden.
"It's a clip-on," he said. "The point is, that sort of job is about as interesting as watching paint dry. My father was like that. He was such a slave to routine, he spent twenty years at a company without knowing anything about the product they made. I think it may have been soap.
"If you want to leave your mark on this world, you have to do something to stand out."
"So that was why you decided to become such a narcissistic glory-hound?" asked Eden.
He frowned. "Look, celebrities tend to be that way!" he shouted. "Now… Shall we?"
He made his first draw, then quickly took half the cards from his hand. "I'll start with two, then add one, then I'm done."
Two vertical cards appeared set in front of him, then a horizontal one in front of those, indicating a monster and two cards behind it.
Same old Mathmatica, thought Eden. She drew, and made her choice just as quickly. "I call on Tortured Phantom King."
There was a loud roar, one of pain-fueled rage, and a Beast leapt in front of her that, at first glance, was Gazelle, King of Mythical Beasts. But he had clearly seen better days. His fur was mottled and falling off, and his skin underneath… Sores, boils, and horrid lesions covered it, some looking suspiciously unnatural… (1,500 ATK)
"Yeah, it isn't pretty," said Eden, noticing Mathmatica's look of disgust, "but don't think for a minute he's harmless. You see, by reducing his Defense Score by 600, he not only gains just as many Attack Points, but when he's done with that monster, he's going after you."
(2,100 ATK)
"Crush his monster with Toughened Rend."
The Beast snarled, and made a leap, but then, one of the former Pro's Traps stood upward, and spun around.
"I activate Astral Shift!" he announced. Tortured Phantom King stopped for a minute, then suddenly ignored the monster and leapt at Mathmatica, knocking him over with a cry of shock.
"OW!" he yelped. "That…"
"Hurt?" asked Eden. "Not my fault you used a card that turned my monster's attack into a direct attack. Of course, it does mean he can't attack again… "
She stopped for a minute as Mathmatica got up and brushed himself off. "You want to play with the creatures in my deck?" she continued. "I'll tell you right now, they don't like wimps."
"Well, Astral Shift also lets me make one draw," replied Mathmatica.
He drew once, and Eden just waved her hand with a frown. Tortured Phantom King growled a little.
"Your move," she said, as Tortured Phantom King's Attack Score – but not Defense Score – reverted to normal. "You want a piece of this?"
(E: 8,000) - - - - - - - - - - (M: 5,900)
"Frankly," answered Mathmatica, "no."
He made another draw, and his set monster flipped up and over.
"First of all, I'll move Iron Blacksmith Kotetsu to Attack Mode."
The card revealed a bare-chested man in an apron pounding a piece of metal into shape on an anvil. (500 ATK)
"His flip effect lets me get an Equip Spell Card from my deck."
The metal got hotter as Kotetsu continued to hammer it, until he picked it up with a tongs and tempered it in a basin next to him. He lifted the tongs, and was now holding a Spell Card. He flicked the tongs, and the card flew towards Mathmatica, who quickly caught it.
"Thank you very much," said the former pro. "Next, I summon Transistor the Warrior."
A column of binary symbols rose from the spot next to Kotetsu, and a bulky, rickety machine emerged. It was only vaguely humanoid, consisting of two semi-cubical units connected by a thin beam for a torso, thin mechanical arms with grippers for hands, a head with nothing but one optic sensor for a face, and no legs, hovering over the ground on some type of repulsing mechanism. (1,000 ATK)
Some things never change, thought Eden.
"Next, by sacrificing another monster," continued Mathmatica, as Kotetsu faded and disappeared, "Transistor gains the power to attack directly this turn. So I can return the favor!"
The robot flew upwards, then launched its right claw like a grapple, striking Eden in the chest with it.
(E: 7,000) - - - - - - - - - - (M: 5,900)
"So to answer your previous question," he said, "I don't need to mess with your Beast."
"He thinks differently," Eden replied.
"Maybe, maybe not," replied her opponent. "It's your move."
Eden drew a card, and then there was another painful roar as a more humanoid monster rose from the ground. It looked like Battle Ox, but much like the other, he was in bad shape. His armor was gone, aside from his dented helmet, and his bare skin was covered with bruises and scars.
It was obvious this time that this monster's injuries weren't the result of any accident or disease. Those wounds were caused by a whip or a scourge. (1,700 ATK)
"Now to use Tortured Ox's effect," continued Eden. "By cutting his Defense Score by 600 points, I can give him a 600 point bonus to his Attack Score."
The Beast-Warrior lifted its axe and let out a terrible bellow. (2,300 ATK) Then it snarled in anger, and leapt at Transistor…
Then it crashed to the ground as Mathmatica's other Trap opened, and ripples of energy flowed from it. He had activated Gravity Bind.
Figures, thought Eden. This could take a while…
"It's your turn, I guess…"
"Good…" said Mathmatica, "my draw…" He plucked the next card from his deck, and shifted the ones in his hand slightly. "Time for some multiplication… I summon the Cosmic Compass!"
There was an eerie, humming sound, and a weird device made of brass rods, vaguely shaped like an anchor, with a compass where the rods crossed, appeared next to Transistor. (100 ATK)
Okay, this is different… thought Eden.
"Next, my Compass creates one duplicate of itself for every monster you have," continued her opponent, as the odd Machine whirred and clicked. Two copies of itself appeared, much like it had. (0 DEF x2)
"So, once again…" he said.
The actual Compass disappeared, and Transistor's optic sensor glowed. It launched its grapple again, hitting Eden a second time.
(E: 6,000) - - - - - - - - - - (M: 5,900)
She was getting angry now.
If ANYONE is going to beat me, she thought, it's not gonna be THIS overstuffed prima donna!
Mathmatica smirked, and slipped three more cards into his Disk, causing them to appear behind his monsters.
"Your move," he said.
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Back at the Mandarin Sun, the thug who had grabbed Sofia – called Kafuin by the lady, who was obviously the manager of the place and not just a maître d' – had managed to drag her to the kitchen, where there were three chefs, one of them a huge fellow just as big as Kafuin.
Of course, Sofia had not gone quietly.
"LET GO OF ME YOU OVERGROWN BABOON!" she screamed.
"Boss-lady, some help here?" yelled Kafuin, who was trying very hard to hold on to her.
"Just don't let her…" started the manager. Then she was cut off by a scream of pain from Kafuin, as Sofia finally managed to give him a swift kick in the leg as she wriggled free.
"Ow, ow, OW!" he groaned, holding onto it.
"Crybaby…" said Sofia, calming down. She turned to the manager. She was about to make a rush for her, but the huge chef was fingering a long knife and looking at her in a very unfriendly way.
Okay, let's try to be civil for now, she thought.
"What's the deal?" she demanded. "You realize that this is going to make your tip very small."
"Very funny," replied the manager. "You're a friend of Ferdinand?"
"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not," replied Sofia, no longer trying to be polite. "What's it to you?"
"He was an occasional customer here, until he came in last month," replied the woman. "Here's the receipt from his order.
She held a very long strip of paper in front of Sofia's face so she could read it, and as she did, it was… bizarre. The receipt was for a very large order that was placed at one time: One entire Peking duck with pancakes, one beggar's chicken, two dozen spare ribs, four pounds of fried meatballs, four pounds of moo shu pork, four pounds of Peking wontons, four pounds of noodles in gravy, one whole fried sugar cake, four bottles of beer, and two cups of coffee.
"Why on earth did he order so much?" she asked.
"Don't know, don't particularly care," replied the lady. "He ordered it, we filled the order, and this is what he paid for it all with."
Kafuin grabbed hold of Sofia again as his boss held up a personal check and shoved it in Sofia's face.
"As you can see," she continued, "it bounced."
"And this has to do with me, because?" asked Sofia.
She yanked her arm free and kicked Kafuin again. "ARGH!" he gasped, letting go. "Not the other one!"
Sofia looked at him momentarily, but he was leaning against the wall clutching his leg. She turned back to the woman. "I suppose you expect me to cover this bad check just because I happen to know the guy who wrote it?"
"Well someone has to," she replied. "And if Ferdinand won't do it… Tan-Fu!"
The huge chef put the knife down, then cracked his knuckles and stepped towards Sofia…
At that moment, in the entrance hall, the door opened, and someone walked in. The sounds of a violent fight coming from the kitchen were very clear.
Ferdinand – for Ferdinand it was – ran to the kitchen and threw the door open, but quickly slowed down. Kafuin and Tan-Fu were out cold, the second having landed on top of the first; the other two chefs were in the corner, covering their heads and pleading in Chinese, and there were pots, pans, utensils, and food all over the floor. Sofia was holding the female manager a foot off the floor by the collar and was about to slug her.
"Sofia, don't!" yelled Ferdinand. "Please, do not hurt her!"
"Listen to the man!" begged the manager.
"She…" started Sofia.
"Oh, I think I know exactly what the bitch did," replied Ferdinand. Then he hit the palm of his left hand with his right fist. "So please put her down so I can slug her."
"Mercy, please…" cried the woman.
Sofia looked at Ferdinand, he looked back, and he crossed his arms. "Well, I was hoping to have a word with Sofia," he said. "I'd feel very forgiving if you were to offer us something complimentary…"
"Anything you want, on the house!" she pleaded.
Sofia had half a mind to just leave this place, and more than half a mind to do so and then call Headquarters to report that Ferd was here as soon as she was out the door. Did she truly want answers that badly?
Eventually, she decided the answer was yes, and dropped her.
"Come on, Sofia, I'm a regular here," said Ferd.
"A regular?" she shouted. "But…"
"You want me to stop beating around the bush?" he asked. "Fine."
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Again, Eden drew, starting her third turn.
"Tortured Imp!" she yelled.
With a cross between a squeak and a shriek, a creature appeared that looked like Feral Imp, but like the other two monsters, it had clearly been hurt. It was scarred, one scar covering its left eye. Its wings were bent and broken, likely useless as far as flight was concerned. (1,300 ATK)
"By reducing his Defense Score by 700," she said, "I can destroy one of your Spell or Trap Cards, so I hope you weren't getting attached to that Gravity Bind."
The Imp squeaked (1,400 DEF –) 700 DEF) and swiped with its claw, leaving gashes across the Continuous Trap, which quickly fell apart.
"Then, once again, I'll use Tortured Ox's effect."
Again, the Beast-Warrior roared as its Defense Score lowered so its offensive strength could surge. (700 DEF –) 0 DEF); (1,700 ATK –) 2,300 ATK)
"I haven't told you this yet, but not only does Tortured Ox have a trampling effect, he gives that abilities to ALL my monsters with the word 'Tortured' in their name."
"WHAT?" shouted Mathmatica.
"But I have someone else for you to meet," continued Eden. "I use Polymerization, to fuse Phantom King with Tortured Baphomet…"
The blue and orange spiral appeared, and a ragged, lame, crouched over version of Berfomet appeared, as it and Tortured Phantom King were sucked in. There was an even louder roar, and Chimera the Flying Mythical Beast leapt from the spiral…
Well, more like something that used to be him. He was gaunt and covered with boils, broken shackles on his four ankles, and dried blood on his fur. (2,100 ATK)
"Ugh…" said Mathmatica.
"None of your business," replied Eden. "Tortured Chimera also has two effects. First, by reducing its Defense Score by 1,000, I can return the Defense Score of any 'Tortured' monster other than itself to its base."
Tortured Ox's enraged scowled calmed to a frown, and his Defense Score rose back to 1,200.
"Because you see, Tortured monsters gain their power by using the pain inflicted upon them to channel great rage and turn it into strength. But none of them can do it forever. If one has a Defense Score of zero at the end of a turn, it perishes, all its strength spent to fuel its anger.
"Now then, Chimera also has a version of Phantom King's effect. It can attack a second monster if it destroys one."
"WHAT?" shouted Mathmatica again.
"Do you always repeat yourself?" replied Eden. "You're so fond of math, so… To calculate the amount of damage you're going to take in a few seconds, we take double the Attack Score of Chimera, add it to that of Ox and Imp, and then subtract that of Transistor."
"That's 6,800 Life Points…" gasped Mathmatica.
"Wow, did it in your head so fast and didn't even need a calculator," said Eden with a smirk. "Your Life Points are 5,900… What are they going to be when I'm done? I'll tell you what – squat."
"It's not over yet, because I'm adding something to the equation!" shouted Mathmatica. Another of his Traps flipped up. "I'm activating Tri-and-Guess!"
"Wha?" replied Eden.
"I know, it's a pun, but bear with me here," replied Mathmatica. "I state a type of card that goes in the Extra Deck – as in, Fusions, Synchros, or Xyzs – then we reveal our Extra Decks. Whoever has more of the named type gains 3,000 Life Points.
"So, I name Xyzs. Let's see…"
Eden frowned and shook her head. Three cards appeared in front of her, and all three were Fusion Monsters. Mathmatica however had a full Extra Deck of fifteen cards, and all of them were Xyzs.
(E: 6,000) - - - - - - - - - - (M: 8,900)
At least she saw what they were. A few standard Rank 3s, like Leviair the Sea Dragon, M-X Saber Invoker, Mechquipped Angineer, and…
What the hell is that one? she thought. But the cards vanished before she could get a good look at it.
"Good move…" said Eden. She turned to her monsters. "Get im."
The three angry Duel Monsters charged, Chimera in the front. It pounced on Transistor the Warrior, knocking it prone; sparks and smoke poured from its upper torso before an explosion blew it to hot metal. Chimera paid it no heed, turning to one of the two Compass Tokens, cutting it in twain with one swipe of its claw.
Pain ripped through Mathmatica's chest, but Tortured Ox leapt over its comrade and crushed the last Token with his axe in a blow that made the ground shake. Before the old Pro could fall over – and he would have – Tortured Imp's foot struck him in the chest. His landing was not soft.
"I'm getting too old for this…" he groaned.
(E: 6,000) - - - - - - - - - - (M: 2,100)
"Had enough?" asked Eden.
"No…" replied Mathmatica. With one push, he sprang to his feet. "I'm not that old!"
His last two set cards lifted up.
"First I use Call of the Haunted to bring back Transistor," he said, as the droid appeared in a sparkle of scintillating lights. (1,000 ATK) "Then I chain the Quickplay Spell, Triangulation! For the cost of one card from my hand…" He discarded one of his two cards. "…I can take a monster from my deck that's the same Level as the Machine I just Special Summoned. So long as it isn't a Machine."
The card slid out from his deck, and he plucked it with his index finger and thumb. Eden shrugged a little.
"It's your move then…" she said.
I can't use Tortured Imp's effect more than once a turn, she thought, but next turn, I can destroy Transistor again by destroying Call of the Haunted.
Mathmatica drew, and then played the card he had searched for. With a "Hmm!" a funny-looking man wearing an academic robe and mortarboard with a long, long beard that reached down to his feet, appeared on the field. (1,500 ATK)
"By summoning Mathematician," he explained, "I get to send a Level 4 or lower monster from my deck to the Graveyard, and I think I'll send… Peten the Dark Clown!"
Another card slid out of his deck, which he took, and discarded.
"And because I just sent him to the Graveyard, I can banish his card to summon a second Dark Clown."
There was a cackling laugh, and the fiendish Dark Clown in yellow and green appeared. He took his hat off, and bowed. (500 ATK)
"Next, I'll sacrifice him so that Transistor can make his direct attack this turn," he continued, as Peten vanished into grains of darkness. "And that means I can banish that one to summon a third Peten."
Eden couldn't help but feel a little impressed as another Dark Clown appeared. (500 ATK) That was a good strategy.
She was worried too… He had three monsters now, and all of them were Level 3…
"First, I'll let Transistor do his thing…" said Mathmatica.
This time, the robot attacked with a laser beam from its optic sensor, hitting Eden in the forehead. She yelped a little, clearly not expecting it.
"Now for your Imp…" said the former Pro. "Mathematician, attack with Number Cruncher!"
The goofy wizard pointed his wand, and a burst of silvery light full of numbers and mathematical symbols slammed into Tortured Imp, disintegrating it.
(E: 4,800) - - - - - - - - - - (M: 2,100)
"Who says math class has to be boring?" laughed the older man. "And now that I've done that, I can build the Overlay Network…"
Just what I was afraid of… thought Eden. As she watched, the portal opened, and Transistor, Mathematician, and Peten vanished into columns of digital symbols.
Laughing even harder, Mathmatica announced, "I Xyz Summon my Conundrum Creature!"
Like something out of science fiction movie, a beam of digitized numbers fell from the portal, and a… thing appeared. It looked like a six-foot-tall diamond prism standing on edge, with two long, gangly arms, and a "head" (she assumed, because it had no features) shaped like a four-sided pyramid.
It crossed its spindly arms, defending. (2,600 DEF)
"I'm sure you're going to love my new monster," snarked Mathmatica.
I've only known about it ten seconds and I already hate it… thought Eden.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
"Greedy bitch," growled Ferdinand. As Sofia looked at him closely from across the table, he took a long drink from the bottle of Budweiser one of the smaller chefs had quickly brought along with their friend shrimp. (Which had gone almost untouched; Sofia really wasn't hungry now).
"Uses every trick in the book to make a buck, even take advantage of a customer whose been coming here three years."
"Three years?" exclaimed Sofia. "But she said…"
"And you believed her?" interrupted Ferdinand. "I wrote that bad check last summer by accident, and I was actually grateful she told me. If I had ordered anything online using that account I would have been hit with an overdraft fee I did not need.
"I got cash, paid the bill, and I thought that was the end of it. But then I found out she's been keeping the receipt and the check to try to scam money from anyone who comes in here claiming to be a friend of mine, using threats or blackmail, and sometimes even physical violence, if someone looks vulnerable.
He smiled a little. "Which she found out, much to her shock, you weren't." The smile vanished. "As you can guess, something like that tends to make someone lose friends…" He paused to sip the beer. "Not that I have many to begin with…"
"Do hired guns tend to have many?" asked Sofia.
Ferdinand slammed the bottle down so hard it made the table shake.
"You gonna compare me to that bitch because I offed Clem? Arrest me if you want. If the prosecutor can find one guy in Wisconsin who'll testify against me, he's the most brilliant attorney who ever lived, bar none."
"Uh… he was that bad?" asked Sofia.
"We're talking about a guy who once punched a waitress in the face and broke her nose for bringing him decaffeinated coffee by mistake," growled Ferd. "Frankly, I think switching to decaf might have been a good idea. The man was a tulgar berserker, you know…"
"And he really got the 'berserk' out of him," added Sofia. "You can take a savage out of the jungle, but you can't take the jungle out of the savage."
"He liked being savage," said Ferd, with a nod, "and did things that most mobsters considered taboo. You know what I found when I went through his files? Information about illegal organ sales. Apparently, he had some doctors at the local hospitals bought, and anyone who didn't want to wait in line for a transplant simply had to pay Clem."
"You can't be…" started Sofia.
"Serious?" he interrupted. "Oh, I am. We like to think it was only done with organs taken by people who died in accidents and such, but Clem was very good at making accidents happen.
"Yeah, I've killed a lot of people, but all of them deserved it."
Sofia was too stunned to talk. She didn't know which was more frightening, the fact that Clem was dealing in organ trafficking, or the fact that he was doing it and God knows what else without the Shadowchasers ever noticing.
"Yeah, it can be dirty work," continued Ferd, "but it gives me something to do. It keeps me from getting bored."
"Bored?" shouted Sofia. "You can't find an honest job, Ferd?"
"I've had honest jobs!" snapped Ferd. "Dozens of honest jobs!"
"Dozens?" asked Sofia, with a look of disbelief.
"I've worked almost every job a big, strong guy like me could do," he continued. "Construction worker, miner, farmer, rancher. I've been a lumberjack and even a beekeeper. I've tried being a bouncer, a bodyguard, and even a stuntman for movies."
"Hold on!" said Sofia, lifting her hands.
"Hell, I even worked on a whaling ship once!" he said with a laugh. "People who think Melville is a hard read clearly don't know how disgusting that line of work was."
"Now wait just one minute!" yelled Sofia, standing up out of her chair. Ferd didn't object, so she went on.
"There has been no whaling industry since the 1920's, and the IWC makes sure the country stays on a very low hunt quota.
"Ferdinand… Who are you? To have held all those jobs, you'd have to be…"
"Very, very, old," he said, nodding. "I first came from Shadow to your world in… 1723, I think.
"I'm a mul, Sofia."
Sofia looked at him up and down. "Forgive me, I'm not familiar with…"
"Nobody is…" he said with a sigh. "At least not anymore. It's a long story, but I've got nowhere to go. You know any dwarves?"
"Sure, plenty." She sat down and leaned on her hand. This was starting to interest her now.
"Do any of them tell you about the times centuries ago in their race's history when they were a slave race to giants?"
"Usually with a lot of dwarven expletives to describe the giants, yes," replied Sofia, with a nod.
Ferd nodded back. "In those days, the giants were smarter and had talent in both magic and what passed for science," he explained. "They performed many experiments on their slaves, including breeding and crossbreeding. They bred dwarves with humans, and eventually came up with the muls.
"Muls seemed like the perfect laborers. Strong, tough, durable, and at first, not very smart, something that they figured would ensure loyalty. A mul could work for days without food or rest, although eventually hunger and fatigue would catch up, and…"
A light went on in Sofia's eyes. "Is that why you ordered enough food back then for a banquet?"
"Exactly," replied Ferd, with a nod. "That was one of those times I was on a project where I couldn't stop for days and had to forego eating, so when I was done, I was famished, and needed to make up for it all.
"But anyway, five muls could build a house in a week. Twenty could build a whole city in a year. They seemed perfect. But the giants messed up.
"They tinkered with the design, and some muls got smarter. Much smarter. And they didn't like their lives of slavery any more than the dwarves did. So when the dwarves finally rebelled, the muls sided with them. The giant's empire collapsed, and the dwarves were a free people.
"Now, dwarves always pay back what they owe. The muls became a welcome part of their society for a while… But eventually, they died out."
"How come?" asked Sofia.
"Old age!" yelled Ferd, with a dramatic shrug. "Muls were sterile, because the giants didn't intend to create a new race. It's not a coincidence that the word is 'mule' minus the 'e'.
"But me…"
"You… You never died?" asked Sofia. "Never aged? You're… immortal?"
Ferd sighed. He slowly started to chew on a piece of the fried shrimp.
"Maybe, maybe not," muttered Ferd. "Maybe I just age very, very slowly. I can't remember a thing before that day I showed up in your world, just like any Shadow. In fact, it was ten years before I found a dwarf who knew what I was.
"I've been to doctors, wizards, and other experts, but as you can imagine, none of them know anything about mul anatomy. The few giants I can convince – or force – to listen to me are no help. For folks who were so smart then, they sure are dumb now, and the records of their empire didn't seem to survive."
"The dwarves probably burned them," suggested Sofia.
"Probably," said Ferd. "Who knows? The process likely involved a lot of alchemy and magical potions; maybe in my case, one of them had an impurity, or someone used a dirty flask. But getting back to what I was saying, I've had lots of honest jobs. I've even been a soldier, several times, and not only for this country. Got promoted as far as Sergeant one time.
"But every job I've had… Sooner or later, I just get bored. Sooner or later, I have to move on, find something new. I wouldn't mind having the same job all my life, but my life just seems… endless…
"And the worst part is, Sofia, I have to go through it alone. There are no other muls."
He stopped for a minute.
"Listen, if this is about Philip… He and I aren't exactly friends, but… Maybe, just maybe,I know someone who knows someone who can give him a call to meet you somewhere. You think you can stay in the general area for a few hours? You can consider this restitution for what happened back there…"
Sofia groaned something incoherent and leaned her forehead on her hand.
"Is there a public place in this city where people don't normally start trouble?" she asked. "A library, maybe?"
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
"I'll share one of my Conundrum Creature's powers with you right now, Eden," said Mathmatica. "While it's in Defense Mode and has at least one Overlay Unit, you can't attack any monster except him.
"Still my turn, so I'll use the Spell Card, Magic Planter."
The now-inert Call of the Haunted crumbled into little bits, and he made two draws from his deck. After looking at them, he fit the last card he previously had into his Disk's Spell Zone, and a sphere of blue eldritch power covered Conundrum Creature.
"With the Equip Spell Phylactery of Warding in play, my turn comes to an end."
Eden barely heard him. She really didn't want to take her eyes off that… thing he had summoned. Still, she drew… And her eyes lit up a little.
"I can tell you drew something good, Eden," said Mathmatica, with a grin. "Care to share it?"
"I summon Tortured Horseman," she replied. As she played the card, Mystic Horseman, his skin burned and cut and his hair very much in need of both cutting and a comb, appeared with an angry grimace. (1,300 ATK)
"That doesn't seem too impressive," said Mathmatica.
"He's not the card I drew, this is," replied Eden, holding up a Spell Card. "Tortured Infestation. Let me show you how it works…"
Again, Tortured Ox lifted its arms in fury, its Attack Score rising to 2,300.
"Because his Defense Score was lowered by his own effect, I can send this Spell from my hand to the Graveyard…" She discarded the card. "…and your monsters' lose the amount he lost from their Attack and Defense Scores."
Conundrum Creature: 2,600 DEF –) 2,000 DEF
"Smash it!" she commanded, as the Tortured Ox lifted his axe.
"Pity…" said Mathmatica. "Seems I have to use the effect of my Phylactery of Warding right away… By banishing two Spell Cards from my Graveyard, Conundrum Creature not only becomes invincible this turn, but I don't take damage… YOU do!"
Eden cried out in pain as Tortured Ox's axe crashed against the magical barrier.
(E: 4,500) - - - - - - - - - - (M: 2,100)
"I end my turn…" said Eden, through her teeth. "Just move…"
"Much obliged," said Mathmatica. "This means, of course, that the Phylactery is now banished too."
The magical barrier dissolved, and he drew a card.
"And because one of those Spells I banished when I activated it was Card from a Different Dimension, I get to recover it, and we both get to draw twice."
"Where are you getting these cards?" asked Eden, as she made two draws. "Where are all of you getting them?"
"Membership has its privileges, my dear," he said, "but the monster I'm about to summon is something you could probably buy for about a quarter. Most duelists these days think this sort of card is junk…
"Those duelists are stupid. I'm using Conundrum Creature's other effect. Once per turn, by subtracting an Overlay Unit, I can summon from my deck a Level 5 or higher monster with less than a 1,000 Attack Points."
Before Eden could even think of what monster he would possibly summon, a single, glaring, red eye opened on the thing's face. Red light shone from it… And then the red turned soft blue. With a ripple in the air, a… giant piece of paper appeared over Mathmatica.
"I summon… This Guy."
Then the paper folded, forming into a paper airplane. A featureless man-shaped figure made of blue clay – or something – appeared on it, doing a one-handed handstand. (200 ATK)
"Koitsu?" shouted Eden.
"You got it," replied Mathmatica. "And now for the keystone of my strategy…"
He played a card, and flashing crackling electricity ripped from the ground.
"The… Calculator!"
It was a small monster, despite the grandiose announcement, a small droid with a rectangular screen for a face, metal arms, and a calculator keypad for a torso. But Eden was very familiar with this one…
"Now for more multiplication," said Mathmatica, "and since we happen to have this guy handy, it'll be easy. You see, to get points, the Calculator takes the combined Levels of all my monsters, then multiplies by 300."
The Thunder Monster tapped the keypad to work out the problem: (2 + 10) * 300. It hit the equal sign, and the number 3,600 appeared on its screen.
"Mmgh…" muttered Eden.
"I have my favorite Spell Card here too…" continued Mathmatica. "Riryoku! Time to switch to division."
He flipped the card in his Disk, and both Koitsu and Tortured Chimera glowed with the same blue light.
"First, we divide the Attack Score of your Fusion Monster by two," he said. "Once we do that, we take the quotient and add it to the Attack Score of Koitsu."
(Koitsu: 1,350 ATK, Tortured Chimera: 1,050 ATK)
Then the large paper plane with its pilot soared, and sparkles of light rained upon Chimera in a weird parody of artillery fire. The Beast made a blank stare and then disappeared into twinkling pixels.
(E: 4,200) - - - - - - - - - - (M: 2,100)
"That was clever," said Eden, "but Chimera has one final effect, the effect he had when he was still the Flying Mythical Beast… In a manner of speaking. I summon Tortured Baphomet from my Graveyard in Defense Mode."
The four-armed Fiend, the sores and welts on its chest and limbs clearly visible now, appeared kneeling, crossing its arms. (1,800 DEF)
"Ah, well," said Mathmatica. "I still have the Calculator…"
The droid pointed at Tortured Horseman and a bolt of electromagnetic energy from its hand blew the centaur to particles.
"Your monsters should be happy," he said. "I'm putting them out of their misery. Given the sorry shape they're in, I doubt they like fighting."
(E: 1,900) - - - - - - - - - - (M: 2,100)
"I don't like making them fight," replied Eden. "But you know I have to. I use Tortured Horseman's effect to summon Tortured Wolf from my deck!"
Still another Beast appeared, one that may have once been Silver Fang, but now looked starved, decrepit, and clearly bearing the bruises and wounds of an animal with a cruel master. (1,200 ATK)
"Eh…" said Mathmatica. "I have no idea who made these cards… Whoever it is, I should report him to the ASPCA…"
Two new set cards appeared behind his monsters. "That's my turn for now… Let's try to get this done with as soon as possible…"
Indeed, he was getting very nervous looking at the creatures she was summoning (he only had a general idea of what she meant by "I have to"), and as she drew a card, dreaded what would come next.
I know what he's going to do next turn, she thought. Well, tough luck Matt…
"Sorry to burst your bubble," she shouted, "but there is no way I'm letting you summon Aitsu with that thing! I play the Continuous Spell Card, Pleasured Pain!"
As the Spell appeared, shackles appeared on her arms, manacles on her ankles, and an iron collar around her neck, all with steel spurs that bit into her flesh. She winced in pain for a minute, then stood up straighter.
"Just like my monsters can gain strength from pain, so can I," she said. "Every time I reduce their Defense Scores to use their effects, this Spell Card restores my Life Points by the same amount.
"So first, I'll use all three of these monsters' effects. I think you know how Tortured Ox's works…"
(2,300 ATK)
"Then, I'll reduce Tortured Wolf's Defense Score by 400 to double its Attack Score."
(2,400 ATK)
"Uhm, if I may butt in," said Mathmatica, "in case you forgot, you can't attack any monsters except my Conundrum Creature."
"I didn't forget," replied Eden. "Next, I'll use Tortured Baphomet's effect; because Ox's Defense was just reduced to zero, I can reduce Baphomet's Defense Score by 900 to return Ox's Defense to its base score."
(900 DEF)
"First off, thanks to Pleasured Pain, I gained 1,900 Life Points."
(E: 3,800) - - - - - - - - - - (M: 2,100)
"And now that I've done that, I'll sacrifice Tortured Baphomet and Tortured Wolf…"
The two monsters were surrounded by pitch-black bonfires, as a burning Kanji symbol appeared, then shattered. With a bone-chilling scream, an incredibly gaunt Red-Eyes Black Dragon with broken claws and shackles on its wrists appeared, hovering in mid-air. (2,400 ATK)
It calmed down, but looked at Mathmatica with a low snarl, smoke pouring from its jaws.
"By reducing Tortured Black Dragon's Defense Score by 1,000 points," she said, "Not only can I make him strong enough to defeat your Conundrum Creature, but he can attack all your monsters! So I'm taking him – and you – out!"
The Dragon roared again, and its Attack Score increased to a full 3,000.
"Attack the Conundrum Creature with Infernal Storm of Anguish!"
Mathmatica took two steps backwards as the sky turned blood red, and flames literally erupted from the ground on either side of the Dragon. Flames? Well, maybe not solely flames… Given the color, they may have been flames mixed with… blood…
Then the same substance blew from the Dragon's mouth, hitting the crystal monolith and smashing it into unrecognizable shards.
(E: 4,800) - - - - - - - - - - (M: 1,500)
"That… Hurt…" said Mathmatica. "But now I can, if you'll pardon the cliché, kill two birds with one stone…"
One of his set cards flipped up, and four ropy tendrils darted from the Quickplay Spell. Tortured Dragon screamed as it was snagged by them.
"Revenge Sacrifice!" announced Mathmatica. The Dragon tried to struggle, but to its mistress' shock, it was pulled into the card. "Now I can use your monster to summon one of mine."
A new paper plane unfolded in mid-air, and landed with a man-shaped thing much like Koitsu, only red, standing on it. (0 ATK)
"Ironic," he said. "You actually helped me do exactly what you wanted to prevent. And now the Calculator has 1,800 more Attack Points."
(5,400 ATK)
I know… thought Eden. He might as well have named that monster 'Sucker Bait'. And because I used Dragon's effect, Ox can't attack this turn.
"I'll throw three cards facedown and move Ox to Defense Mode!" she yelled. Three set cards appeared behind Tortured Ox as he knelt, holding his axe in his lap.
Hope this works…
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
At core command, Jabels was watching the screens on the monitor, pacing, and rubbing his chin every now and then.
"Jabels," said Dolores, "as she entered the room quickly. We've got something on Yolanda and Ramon. Something hot."
"Uh…" said Jabels.
"Sorry, no joke intended," she said. "Seems they showed up back in Roswell."
"You're kidding," he replied.
"I have no idea if they're still there, but, uhm…" she explained. "Is Mr. Bowmaker available?"
"Douglas?" asked Jabels, making a face. "Why on earth would we need to have him investigate?"
"I know this seems hard to swallow, but…" said Dolores. "The guy who called in the tip says someone asked for him specifically."
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
Mathmatica drew a card, and made a sad smile.
"Nothing personal, Eden, but to get what I want I have to increase my standing with BW, and if that means eliminating you, so be it. I use Shield Crush!"
He played the card, and a bolt of pure force shot at the defending Tortured Ox…
"I use… Tortured Wail!" shouted Eden in response, as one of her Traps lifted and Tortured Ox let out a howl of anguish. The bolt hit him, but did nothing.
"By reducing his Defense Score to zero, this negates and destroys your Spell Card!"
"Pity…" said Mathmatica. "I can still finish you, but it's just going to be more painful now…" Koitsu took to the air again, and fired its sparkling bolts. "This monster may have only 200 Attack Points, but any positive number is larger than zero."
"I have another Trap," answered Eden. "Turnover Soul!"
The card flipped up and around, and Tortured Ox disappeared.
"Because I have no other monsters and that one was Normal Summoned, I can sacrifice it to draw twice."
She slipped two cards off her deck, just as Koitsu continued, the sparking bolts hitting her instead.
"Barely felt a thing."
"Attack her directly, Calculator!" commanded Mathmatica. "Final Solution!"
A more intensified blast full of numbers thundered at Eden… The former Pro watched as the mighty attack hit, knocking her over…
"Hmm…" he said.
"Final Solution?" asked Eden. "Okay, that was pretty corny."
(E: 3,200) - - - - - - - - - - (M: 1,500)
"Judging by your confused stare, you're wondering how I survived, right?" she asked. She pointed to her third, now activated Trap. "Nutrient Z. Here math for you… The damage I would have taken, 5,400, was equal to or greater than 2,000. Therefore, with my score at 4,800, Nutrient Z adds 4,000, before the damage subtracts 5,400, equaling…"
"Hardy, har, har!" he interrupted, getting annoyed now. "I'm not done with you…"
His last Trap opened. "It's called Formation Union. As you no-doubt know, Koitsu is a Union Monster…"
The two weird Fairies turned into two blurs of red and blue.
"…and this Trap lets me Union Equip it to Aitsu even in the middle of the battle!"
With a sunburst of rainbow colors, a giant version of Aitsu colored purple appeared, flexing its muscles on its strange perch. (3,000 ATK)
It didn't even wait for its master to give a command. It held up its hands, and a pinwheel of blue and red light began spinning and growing, until it threw it spiraling towards Eden, slamming into her and knocking her on her face.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
It was about an hour since Ferdinand had left Sofia behind. Having crossed the Atlantic his way, he found that Addams was very anxious to see him.
But… If he thought he was angry at first…
"Absolutely NOT!" shouted Addams, standing up and leaning over his desk.
"Come on, boss," said Ferd. He was sitting on the couch in front of the desk in the office next to Emily, who had a few opinions to give, but not enough nerve to give them.
"We could send Phil an anonymous message or something," continued Ferdinand. "What could go wrong?"
"The word 'everything' comes to mind," said Dunstan, who was standing behind Addams' desk with his arms crossed. "It's bad enough that with Jalal's organization as clients, we've technically become a company of mercenaries!"
"Dunstan, calm down," said Addams, lifting his hand. Then he turned back to Ferdinand. "Ferd, we are not a dating service, and it's not a good idea too…"
"I think it's an excellent idea," said a familiar voice.
"Well look who's here," sighed Emily.
Addams stood up as "Mack" entered the room from… somewhere. It was clear that the CEO was getting annoyed at these unannounced visits.
"Look, Diogenes," he said, pointing to the strange man. "I don't know what you're planning this time, but both Emily and Sofia are too tired to deal with any new crazy scheme."
"I realize that," replied the man. He turned to Dunstan. "Mr. Dunstan… I need you to confront Ms. Witt."
"Say what?" asked Dunstan.
"You can handle it, can't you?" asked Diogenes. "We've had a few setbacks lately… The Shadowchasers confiscated the obelisk that Drumer uncovered, but it barely matters. As it turned out, it wasn't the one we required."
"Say… what?" said Addams.
"The obelisk we were looking for is likely elsewhere," continued Diogenes, "and we will resume the search for it when…"
"Now wait just one minute…" said Addams, doing a poor job to hide his anger now. "You're telling us that you shared forbidden dark magic with someone who definitely should not have used it, and attacked Philadelphia with a zombie horde to search for a powerful necromantic focus that you thought might have been the one you needed."
"I don't see why it concerns you," replied Diogenes. "Your company was not involved."
Addams sat down, and simply looked at him with a sour glance.
"That project has been put on hold for the time being anyway," continued Diogenes. "Given recent events that your company is involved in, there has been a fortunate coincidence in the matter at hand, and Ms. Witt's connection to Mr. Lupin may benefit us."
"Look, sure I can handle it," said Dunstan, pointing his finger at him. "I can fight, I can duel if you want… But if she describes me to Jabels or someone else who…"
"Do not concern yourself with such matters," said Diogenes. "I already have that planned out.
"I'll call back in twenty minutes."
Everyone watched as he left.
"Creep," said Emily.
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"Ready to give up yet?" asked Mathmatica.
(E: 200) - - - - - - - - - - (M: 1,500)
"NEVER!" shouted Eden. "I'll fight you to my last ounce of strength!"
"A simple no would have sufficed," said Mathmatica.
Eden sat up. She looked at the two cards she had drawn with Turnover Soul; one was Monster Reincarnation, a rather well-known card, the other was one of her stronger monsters, Tortured Skull. It had a powerful effect that could destroy a monster without even giving up its attack…
…but first she had to summon it, and seeing as it was Level 6, that wouldn't be easy.
"At least your Calculator is down to 2,400 Attack Points," she mumbled, as she stood up.
"Worry about that one later…" he said. He took his last card (well, other than Card from a Different Dimension) and the Union-Equipped Aitsu was coated with a gold plating.
"Raregold Armor," he said. "Now you'll have to get past him – or rather them – first. I end my turn."
Eden brushed the dirt off her shoulder, and drew.
"You know, Matt," she said, "I don't envy what BW will probably do to you later… But in the end you're going to thank me."
She played the Monster Reincarnation card, and discarded the Tortured Skull card. It was quickly replaced by another monster.
"What are you talking about?" he asked. "What card are you getting back?"
"Tortured Ox," she said, "but the important thing is, Tortured Skull is in my Graveyard. You see, while I don't doubt that BW is capable of applying for permission to get into the Library of Regulus, you'd be watching glaciers form waiting for approval, so there was no harm in making a promise to you that meant nothing.
"I activate Dragon's Mirror!"
"What… what are you summoning?" he said, startled. Tortured Black Dragon and a bent, grotesque facsimile of Summoned Skull appeared, then disappeared into a blur.
"You'll see…" said Eden, as the ground began to shake.
Then, the area between them erupted, and a geyser the same flaming blood concoction, more violent this time, accompanied by the stench of brimstone and fiery rocks being propelled outward, broke through a crack…
A huge claw reached out, and slammed on the pavement… There was a roar, and a Dragon's head lurched out, the foul stuff dripping from it…
As if the original Black Skull Dragon wasn't hideous enough…
"Dear… God…" gasped Mathmatica, looking at the horribly deformed creature.
Tortured Skull Dragon let out a hellish roar of bloodlust to the sky… (3,200 ATK)
"Very bad choice of words, old friend," said Eden. "By using this beast's effect, I can forfeit its attack this turn and reduce its Defense Score by 1,000 to destroy any card on the field, and you can neither counter, negate, nor chain to that effect.
"Thus… Tortured Skull Dragon, eradicate Aitsu!"
Like a volcano erupting, a blast of magma with a horrid stench rained upon the giant doll and his paper plane, quickly turning both to hot, burning ash and taking Koitsu with them.
"It's not over!" shouted Mathmatica. "You said yourself it couldn't attack!"
"Forget this?" asked Eden.
To Mathmatica's horror, he did not. Tortured Ox appeared on the field again – indeed, Eden had not Normal Summoned yet – and with a feral snarl, his Attack Points rose to 2,300 once again.
"Seeing as your Calculator only has 600 points now," she said. "I think now I can make it 84."
Tortured Ox gripped his axe in both hands, leapt at the small droid, and smashed it hard. The former Pro Duelist screamed in pain…
(E: 1,800) - - - - - - - - - - (M: 0)
"What do you know?" said Eden. She turned to Ox. "Maybe he just got a taste of what it feels like.
Tortured Ox snorted, and nodded. Then he and the Dragon disappeared as the Disks shut down.
Eden walked over to Mathmatica, and then sadly shook her head. She opened his coat, and took the small badge from it.
Sorry, Matt, she said. You really shouldn't even have gotten involved. But I can't hold back. Things are happening… BAD things. They obviously only made that promise to you because they're starting to think I might actually do it.
I have to do my end fast so I can make them live up to their end.
She looked back at the Pandora's Box.
Then maybe I can stop working jobs like that and get back on track…
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REVENGE SACRIFICE (Spell Card)
Quickplay Spell
Image: A frightened woman with red cords wrapped around her, trying to flee from two ghostly hands.
Effect: Activate when a monster you control is destroyed by battle; select 1 monster from your hand which can be Tribute Summoned with 1 Tribute. Tribute the monster that destroyed your monster by battle, and then Special Summon the selected monster from your hand.
Note: "Revenge Sacrifice" was first used in the original anime episode "Freeze Play (Part 2)".
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TRANSISTOR THE WARRIOR (Monster Card)
Machine/Earth/Effect/Lvl3/1,000/1,000
Effect: If you Tribute 1 monster you control during your first Main Phase, this card can attack directly during the same turn's Battle Phase.
Note: "Transistor the Warrior" was first used in the Yu-Gi-Oh GX episode "Pro-Dueling".
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CARD FROM A DIFFERENT DIMENSION (Spell Card)
Normal Spell
Image: A strange machine crackling with energy with a Duel Monsters card being created inside.
Card Description: If this card is banished, return it to the owner's hand during his or her next Standby Phase. Then, both players draw 2 cards.
Note: "Card from a Different Dimension" was first used in the "Yu-Gi-Oh GX" episode "The Graduation Match (Part 1)".
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ASTRAL SHIFT (Trap Card)
Normal Trap
Image: Maiden of the Aqua in the foreground, standing in front of an explosion, casting a spell forward.
Effect: Activate when your opponent declares an attack against a monster you control. That attack becomes a direct attack. After damage calculation, draw 1 card.
Note: "Astral Shift" was first used in the Yu-Gi-Oh GX episode #177
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CONUNDRUM CREATURE (Monster Card)
Rock/Light/Xyz/Effect/Rank3/1,000/2,600
3 Level 3 Monsters
Effect: Once per turn, you may detach 1 Xyz Material from this card; select 1 Level 5 or higher monster from your deck with an ATK of 1,000 or less, and Special Summon it. If this card is in face up Defense Position, your opponent may not attack any face up monster you control except this one. You can only control 1 "Conundrum Creature".
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TRIANGULATION (Spell Card)
Quickplay Spell
Image: Warrior Dai Grepher knocking over a Helping Robo for Combat in the middle of the Dark Factory of Mass Production; behind them, Warrior Lady of the Wasteland is leaping to attack him by surprise.
Effect: Activate when one of your Machine-Type monsters is Special Summoned from the Graveyard; add 1 monster that is the same Level as the Special Summoned Machine from your deck to your hand. You cannot summon it this turn.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
PHYLACTERY OF WARDING (Spell Card)
Equip Spell
Image: Defender the Magical Knight casting a spell that creates a pentagram as flaming meteors fly towards him. Behind him, Magician's Valkyria is crouching.
Effect: Equip only to a monster you control. If the equipped monster is attacked by an opposing monster, you may banish 2 Normal Spell Cards in your Graveyard to activate this card's effect: until the end of the Battle Phase, the equipped monster cannot be destroyed by battle, and battle damage from battles with the equipped monster is taken by your opponent.
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TORTURED WOLF (Monster Card)
Beast/Earth/Effect/Lvl3/1,200/800
Effect: Once per turn, you may decrease the DEF of this card by 400 to double its original ATK until your opponent's next End Phase. If this card's DEF is zero during an End Phase, select and add 1 "Tortured" monster from your deck or Graveyard to your hand, and then destroy this card.
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TORTURED OX (Monster Card)
Beast-Warrior/Earth/Effect/Lvl4/1,700/1,200
Effect: While this card is face-up on the field, all "Tortured" monsters deal piercing damage. Once per turn, you may decrease the DEF of this card by 600 to increase its ATK by 600. If this card's DEF is zero during an End Phase, select and add 1 "Tortured" monster from your deck or Graveyard to your hand, and then destroy this card.
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TORTURED IMP (Monster Card)
Fiend/Dark/Effect/Lvl4/1,300/1,400
Effect: Once per turn, you may decrease the DEF of this card by 700 to destroy 1 Spell or Trap Card. This effect can only be activated if you control at least 1 "Tortured" monster other than "Tortured Imp". If this card's DEF is zero during an End Phase, select and add 1 "Tortured" monster from your deck or Graveyard to your hand, and then destroy this card.
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TORTURED HORSEMAN (Monster Card)
Beast-Warrior/Earth/Effect/Lvl4/1,300/1,550
Effect: Once per turn, you may decrease the DEF of this card by 700 to select 1 other face-up "Tortured" monster you control; increase the DEF of the selected monster by half of its base DEF. If this card is destroyed by battle, Special Summon a Level 4 or lower "Tortured" monster from your deck with its DEF halved.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
TORTURED PHANTOM KING (Monster Card)
Beast/Earth/Effect/Lvl3/1,500/1,200
Effect: Once per turn, you may decrease the DEF of this card by 600; if you do, until the End Phase of the turn, this card's ATK is increased by 600 and if it destroys a monster as a result of battle, it may attack once again in a row. If this card's DEF is zero during an End Phase, select and add 1 "Tortured" monster from your deck or Graveyard to your hand, and then destroy this card.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
TORTURED BAPHOMET (Monster Card)
Fiend/Dark/Effect/Lvl5/1,400/1,800
Effect: When this card is Normal Summoned, you may Special Summon a "Tortured" monster from your hand. When the DEF of a "Tortured" monster (except a "Tortured Baphomet") falls to zero, you may decrease this card's DEF by 900 to increase that "Tortured" monster's DEF to its base Defense Score. If this card's DEF is zero during an End Phase, select and add 1 "Tortured" monster from your deck or Graveyard to your hand, and then destroy this card.
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TORTURED SKULL (Monster Card)
Fiend/Dark/Effect/Lvl6/2,500/1,200
Effect: Once per turn,you may reduce the DEF of this card by 600 to destroy 1 face-up monster on the field. If this card's DEF is zero during an End Phase, select and add 1 "Tortured" monster from your deck or Graveyard to your hand (except a "Tortured Skull"), and then destroy this card.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
TORTURED CHIMERA (Monster Card)
Beast/Wind/Fusion/Effect/Lvl6/2,100/1,800
"Tortured Phantom King" + "Tortured Baphomet"
Effect: Cannot be Special Summoned except by Fusion Summon, and only by using the above-named Fusion Material monsters. If this card destroys a monster as a result of battle, it may again once more in a row, once per turn. This card cannot attack directly using this effect. You may reduce this card's DEF by 1,000 to select 1 face-up "Tortured" monster on the field and increase the selected monster's DEF to its base Score. If this card is destroyed by battle or by your opponent's card effect, you may Special Summon 1 "Tortured Phantom King" OR "Tortured Baphomet" from your Graveyard.
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TORTURED BLACK DRAGON (Monster Card)
Dragon/Dark/Effect/Lvl7/2,400/2,000
Effect: Once per turn,you may reduce the DEF of this card by 1,000 to increase its ATK by 600 and activate the following effect: This card may attack all monsters on your opponent's side of the field once each. If you use this effect, this card is the only monster that may attack that turn. If this card's DEF is zero during an End Phase, select and add 1 "Tortured" monster from your deck or Graveyard to your hand (except a "Tortured Black Dragon"), and then destroy this card.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
TORTURED SKULL DRAGON (Monster Card)
"Tortured Skull" + "Tortured Black Dragon"
Dragon/Dark/Fusion/Effect/Lvl9/3,200/2,500
Effect: Once per turn,you may reduce the DEF of this card by 900 to destroy 1 card on the field. The activation of this card cannot be negated or countered, and set Spell or Trap Cards targeted by this effect cannot be activated. If you use this effect, this card cannot attack in the same turn.
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PLEASURED PAIN (Spell Card)
Continuous Spell
Image: Gazelle the King of Mythical Beasts in a dungeon, securely held to the floor by chains, an iron muzzle over its jaws. In front of him, Shadow Tamer gently pets him with a kind smile, her whip held in her other hand.
Effect: When a "Tortured" monster's DEF is reduced by its own effect, increase your Life Points by the same amount. You may send this card to the Graveyard to select a face-up "Tortured" monster with a DEF of zero; increase the selected monster's DEF to its base Score.
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TORTURED WAIL (Trap Card)
Counter Trap
Image: Tortured Skull unleashing a horrible scream in a cavern full of flames and dark smoke.
Effect: Activate when your opponent activates a Spell or Trap Card; select a face-up "Tortured" monster you control. Reduce the selected monster's DEF to zero to negate the activation of your opponent's card and destroy it.
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TORTURED INFECTION (Spell Card)
Normal Spell
Image: The Goblin of Greed on his knees, wounded and with his clothes torn, struggling to get up as three Des Mosquitoes jab at him with spears. Behind him in the cathedral-like chamber, a ragged, disheveled version of Peten the Dark Clown laughs manically, and on a balcony, a dark, feminine form watches quietly.
Effect: You may discard this card from your hand during a turn you lower the DEF of a "Tortured" monster via its own effect. When you do so, the ATK and DEF of your opponent's face-up monsters are lowered by an amount equal to the number of Defense Points lost by your "Tortured" monster until the End Phase of the turn. You may only use the effect of 1 "Tortured Infection" per turn. If there are 3 copies of "Tortured Infection" in your Graveyard, you may banish them; reduce the DEF of 1 "Tortured" monster you control to zero and inflict damage to your opponent equal to the amount reduced. You may not declare an attack that turn.
The proceeding thirteen cards were created by 7th Librarian. Credit goes to him.
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Jemorille: It seems the distressed youth that Fanciullo had saved was not as helpless as he had at first thought, and she was more complicated than he had thought. Eden had… Quite a benevolent-sounding name for a girl who seemed so depressed and so angry, with a deck that was all about pain.
Who she was, it seemed not many knew, but she seemed to be bound to a pact of some sort that she was trying to fulfill, which had terrible consequences for failure.
For now, the Shadowchasers would continue their investigation, and it seems a lead would take them back where Edgar and Maddie first encountered Yolanda and Ramon. But this time, whoever had tipped them off had told them that Douglas was needed specifically.
Why? No-one had even the foggiest idea. Especially Douglas.
But now, it seemed like at least two different factions were plagued by an unknown darkness which was only going to get darker before it got lighter.
"Iron Man" is coming soon. Riding Duel, acceleration!
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Shadowchaser Files
Beasts: Umber Hulk
"How do you stop a rhino from charging?" Ask most Mundanes (and indeed, most Shadows) that old joke, he'd probably answer, "Take away his credit cards."
Ask a mountain dwarf, however, and he'd be a little more serious (as they always tend to be) and probably say, "If you know something that works on an umber hulk, use that."
Because as mountain dwarves, along with any race that lives by mining and prospecting knows, along with fully subterranean ones, trying to stop a charging umber hulk when it's angry is like trying to stop an out-of-control freight train.
Many believe that umber hulks are not natural creatures are better described as abominations, claiming that it's hard to fathom how evolution could have produced such a thing. Indeed, they are ancient creatures, mentioned in copies of tomes that were written even before Tharizdun's campaign of destruction. Possibly, they were among the cast-aside "leftovers" that resulted when the universe was created from chaos; if the Power Primordial were compared to high-octane gasoline, beasts like this would be the impurities that were removed and discarded in its production.
In any case, the mere sight of these monsters is terrifying. Start with a picture of a gorilla (vaguely humanoid, very muscular, hunched over, with long arms reaching almost to the ground) then make it about ten feet tall and six feet wide. (On average; bigger ones have been documented.) Replace its fur-covered hide with an armored exoskeleton similar to that of a crustacean, then give it forearms that are proportionately too large with huge, sharp claws. Top it off with a beetle-like head with blank, dull eyes, and two mandibles shaped like sickles, each about four feet long and serrated. That's an umber hulk.
Of course, studying it long enough to get a description like that requires you to either capture or kill one, which is not easy. When an umber hulk is hungry (which, unfortunately, is most of the time) it attacks anything weaker than itself (which is almost anything). An umber hulk isn't blind, but like bats, it has exceptional hearing, and uses echolocation to find prey in the dark. (Not that it's very good at stealth.)
Some who have escaped encounters with them claim that you should avoid looking into an umber hulk's eyes at all costs, because if you do, you'll be paralyzed with fear and at its mercy. This isn't accurate, because the true power of its eyes is something of a stupefying effect that stuns and confuses anyone who looks at them directly. This may be a vestige of the inherited primordial chaos inside them, but it's hard to tell exactly.
Of course, that's hardly the worst quality they have. Their armored carapace isn't for show; some who have tried to fight them claim that even using a semi-automatic pistol wasn't much use against one, as most of the high-caliber rounds bounced off its armor. (A few managed to pierce it, but they just made the beast very angry. Or rather angrier. Umber hulks are known to have a hair-trigger temper, and are likely only calm when they are asleep.)
The most remarkable thing about them, however, is the claws. While they can certainly be used to tear prey apart, they can also use them to burrow through soil and even solid rock at speeds that rival those of the most modern excavating machines. Over the centuries that Shadows have been transported to Earth, tunnels formed by umber hulks have formed useful networks of passages in caverns underground, used by dark elves, duergar, and svirfneblin. In fact, "chasing a umber hulk" is a dwarven expression for an endeavor that is very risky but, with luck, can yield great profit. This refers to how some prospectors trail after umber hulks hoping to discover the veins of precious ore and gemstones they often uncover, and hoping the beast isn't still around when they do.
If umber hulks have a weakness, it's their lack of smarts and their rotten tempers. Their intelligence can be compared to that of a box of hammers, and if there's one thing dumber than one umber hulk, it's two together. They get angry very quickly, and smarter prey has found it easy to trick one into charging headlong into a trap or over a cliff. (A popular story told by gnomes at campfires is how the great gnomish thief "Slim" Sulman managed to escape two umber hulks and rob a trade caravan of duergar by fooling the hulks into chasing him into the caravan where the duergar were fooled into fighting them; when the dust cleared, all Slim had to do was finish off the last exhausted duergar and was able to rob the place at his leisure.)
Story Ideas: Umber hulks are too dumb to find allies on their own, and while they're impossible to domesticate, training them is possible by someone tough enough and patient enough who makes sure to feed them. Dark elves, duergar, illithids, and possibly demons could use them in any story where a big, scary monster is needed.
For example, consider the scene in Return of the Jedi where Jabba the Hutt tried to feed Luke to the Rancor. An umber hulk (or maybe two) could be an ideal monster in that sort of situation. Having one guard a courtyard is an unsubtle version of a "keep out" sign, and using one as a hunting beast or war beast could be an idea for villains capable of brainwashing them.
Another idea would be for a villain to use an old trick from Greek mythology (attempted on Heracles, Perseus, Bellerophon, and Jason) where he tells the hero to go find and slay a monster, hoping he'll be killed in the process. (Given how the above examples turned out, it rarely works, but villains still try it occasionally.) An umber hulk can fit the bill perfectly, especially if the good guys don't know what they are. (Those who do won't want to mess with them.)