2013
There was a sharp knock on the trailer door.
"I'm coming!" Chris shouted, pulling his head through his black t-shirt. He grabbed his copy of the day's script from the table and opened the door. Darren was standing on the ground, smiling wide as their eyes met.
"Hey," he greeted.
"Hey," Chris replied, bowing down to tie his shoes quickly.
"So, I, uh… Kind of wanted to ask you something."
Chris lifted his head. "Yeah?"
"Yeah. But, umm… I don't just wanna do it here so I was wondering if you, uh… If you'd like to have dinner tonight? With me."
"Sure," Chris chuckled. "I'll meet you by your trailer around 6?"
"Yeah, yeah. That sounds great," Darren answered, nodding nervously. "So, you, uh, you ready?"
"Yeah, let's go," Chris said and stepped out the trailer closing the door after him.
They walked to the set with the not mentioned anticipation between them, their hands nearly touching with just the slightest gap.
"There you are!" Ryan exclaimed in relief but quieted down quickly as he took a second look at the two. "Chris, what are you wearing? This is your scene! Kurt Hummel doesn't own boring, black t-shirts."
"Yeah, you should've at least painted a big smiley face on it," Darren said, shaking his head.
Chris sniggered covering his mouth and reddening for a brief moment. "I-I'm sorry, I totally forgot. I'll go change right now."
"No, there's no time for that now. We'll shoot the scene tomorrow," Ryan said without even looking directly at him. "Lea, honey? Are you ready?"
"Yeah, absolutely," Lea replied with a big smile on her face and got up from the piano.
"I can't believe I forgot about my scene," Chris said as he sat down on the chair behind him and put his head against his hands.
Darren sat down beside him and put his hand on his left knee. "You know, I, uh… I gotta admit something."
Chris lifted his head and puckered his brows. "What?"
"You didn't forget about your scene," Darren said, took a deep breath and then continued, "You didn't have any more scenes to shoot today. I asked Ryan to lie to you so you would leave your trailer for a while."
"What? Why?"
"Well, because, I, umm… Sort of had something planned for us."
"But… What about our dinner?"
"Uh, yeah, about that... There's no dinner. No. There's only a, uh, picnic. At your trailer," Darren mumbled. "I had my team set everything up while you were gone."
"What? You— Aw, you didn't have to do that!"
"No, I… I really did." Darren sighed. "'Cause there's something I need to tell you and I thought this would be a proper way of handling things."
Chris looked puzzled. "What are you talking about?"
Darren gave him a wide grin, "You'll see." He took a hold of Chris' hand and pulled him up. "Let's go."
Chris stood up, still puzzled, and followed him back to the trailer.
Darren opened the door, then stepping aside so Chris could enter first.
"Oh, wow," Chris breathed, eyes widening. "Dare, this is amazing."
The trailer was lighted with softly flickering candles and there were heart-shaped decorations everywhere. On the table, there were various food choices from snacks to full meals. Beside the sink, he noticed a little brown box next to two plates of chocolate cake and a bottle of champagne.
Darren smiled behind him, "I'm glad you like it."
Chris turned around, laying his eyes directly onto his. "I love it."
"Good," Darren replied and bit his bottom lip. "Although, I really cannot take credit for any of it, I only gave some suggestions."
"Shut up, you're ruining this," Chris whispered playfully as he leaned even closer to Darren's hard-pounding body. Darren bit his lip even harder, not taking his eyes off Chris'.
Chris wrapped his arms around Darren's neck and played softly with his neck hair. "So, are you gonna kiss me or not?"
Darren chuckled, tense. He wasn't sure why Chris was suddenly making him so nervous.
The grin on Chris' face was growing wider with every passing second as he was waiting for Darren to step up his game.
Darren coughed shortly before placing his strained hands on Chris' narrow waist. He licked his lip quickly, trying his best not to look too freaked out. Then he pulled Chris even closer and when their bodies finally touched, he pressed his lips gently against his. Chris responded to the kiss with equal passion, his body growing heated with desire.
The kiss wasn't long, but it was long enough, and when it was over they were both still holding each other close.
Chris nuzzled Darren's neck. "You have no idea how long I've waited for you to do that."
"Yeah? You really think I messed up all those kissing scenes just because I couldn't remember which way I was supposed to hold your hand?" Darren chuckled.
"Wait, that was— That wasn't the case?"
Darren let out an airy laugh, "No! I just wanted to kiss you. And, I mean, I know it wasn't exactly ideal but… I just couldn't think of a better way to be that close to you without everyone realizing what was going on."
"I had no idea," Chris shook his head. "You should've said something to me!"
"I wasn't sure if you'd be interested…"
"Really? That's your excuse?" Chris giggled. "I literally went out with you the first day we met and I refused to leave you alone ever since."
"Okay, yeah, your crush was pretty obvious."
"Hey!" Chris laughed, slapping Darren's arm gently. "No one said anything about having a crush."
"Oh, yeah? So… You're not at all interested in me?" Darren grinned and started kissing his cheek. "Not… one… bit?"
Chris smiled, biting his lip. "What would you, umm… do if I did have a crush on you?"
Darren was quiet for a little while, still sucking on his neck. "I'd do a lot of things, Christopher," he then said.
Chris closed his eyes and moaned softly. "What things?"
"Well, at first I would—," Darren started but stopped as he felt his phone vibrating in the front pocket of his jeans.
"Wow, Darren, is that…?"
"Just my phone," Darren chuckled dryly and dug up the device. "Shit, it's Ricky."
Darren sighed. "I'm so sorry, I have to take this. I told him we'd be shooting this scene the whole day so he wouldn't be calling if it wasn't important."
"Y-Yeah, I get it. Go ahead," Chris said, trying not to sound disappointed.
Darren smiled mildly as he opened the trailer door and went back outside. He coughed and then raised the cell to his ear. "Hey, man. What's up?"
"What the hell are you doing?"
"What are you—"
"Mia just called. She told me about your plans for tonight. Yeah!" Ricky shouted. "Are you out of your mind? Do you have any idea what this kind of a revelation would do to you? To us?"
"Ricky, I—"
"We've been through this many times, Darren! You cannot come out yet, people are just finally starting to recognize your talent. You're gonna be a big star! We don't need any distractions."
"Chris is not a distraction, I love him!" Darren exclaimed. "You can't make my decisions for me, none of you."
"We just want what's best for you, why can't you see that?"
"How'd you know what's best for me if you won't even let me be myself?"
Ricky let out a deep, long sigh. "I know you think you love Chris, and I know he's not going to be the last guy you'll ever have a little crush on. But I also know that if you'd just give Mia a chance - a real one - you wouldn't be disappointed. She's a real catch."
Darren didn't reply.
"You're not gay, Darren. You've said so yourself. So, why not just focus on the ladies at the moment, huh?"
Still no answer.
"I don't want you to see me as the bad guy here, okay? Personally, I have no problem with this, I just… I really care about you, D - you and your career. And I'm not saying you should hide the truth forever. If you could just wait a little longer."
Darren swallowed, still not saying a word.
"Look, I've told you how we feel about this and… I hope you'll at least think about what you may lose if you still decide to go with your plan. Because at the end, it's your choice," Ricky said before saying goodbye and hanging up.
Darren put down his phone and pushed it back into his pocket, then staring at the nothingness for quite a while. Ricky's words kept playing in his mind.
He took a deep breath and opened the trailer door.
"Hey," Chris greeted, grinning widely.
"Hey," Darren mumbled.
Chris puckered his brows. "Everything okay?"
Darren sighed and then, not even lifting his gaze up from the floor, said, "Chris, I… I can't do this."
"What?"
"I-I just… I've made a mistake."
"Wh-What are you talking about?" Chris' voice now sounded almost panicked.
"This… This whole night… It was a mistake. A-A huge, huge mistake."
"I-I don't… I don't understand what's happening?"
"I was so close to blowing everything up, Chris. And I just… It wouldn't have been right," Darren said, still not looking straight into Chris' scared eyes. "I'm sorry, I just… I have to go."
"Darren, wh– Where are you going?" Chris exclaimed. "What happened with Ricky?"
Darren didn't answer.
"What happened? 'Cause before the call you were… I mean, I… I really felt like we were having fun," Chris continued after a short moment. "Did I… Did I do something?"
"No, I just… I can't be here," Darren finally said. "I can't think straight when I'm with you."
"What?"
"Yeah, it's like… You're messing with my head, Chris! All the time."
"Are you kidding me?" Chris snorted. "This picnic was your idea, D. You had this whole big night planned out for us! You had some news you wanted to share with me, and now you're suddenly accusing me of being the one to blame, even though you're the one who's acting weird!"
"Chris, just… Stop," Darren sighed. "I don't wanna do this right now."
"Wh– Seriously? You're annoyed at me?" Chris chuckled in disbelief. "You're actually annoyed at me right now?"
Darren just rolled his eyes at the floor.
"You're the worst," Chris said, shaking his head. "You're literally the worst person. You really made me think we had something great going on here. Something special."
Darren closed his eyes. He didn't know what to say.
"Why do you keep doing this to me? Huh? You're awful. You're an awful person, Darren!" Chris sniffled. "I want you to go."
Darren raised his head with a startled look on his face. "Chris, I–"
"Just go!" Chris exclaimed. "I don't wanna hear another word from you, okay? I can't trust anything you say anymore."
"Chris, please, let me–"
"You really need to go, I don't wanna see you right now," Chris sighed. "I don't wanna do or say anything I'm gonna regret later."
"I owe you an explanation!"
"No, you don't! I don't wanna hear your excuses. I'm done, okay? This isn't the first time we've been close to talking about this obvious tension between us, just like this isn't the first time you've chickened out. But that's okay, I don't matter to you as much as you do to me. So... I just need you to give me some time, okay?"
"Chris, please, just… Listen to me." Darren sounded desperate.
"No! Just… Leave me alone."
"I can't go now. I need to–"
"Just go!" Chris yelled. "Please!"
Darren just stared at him, not quite sure how to respond.
"Fine, I'll go!" Chris grunted. "Feel free to stay here as long as you like!"
He put on his shoes, pushed Darren slightly aside, opened the door and stormed out. Darren sat down on the chair behind him and placed his head in his hands. There was a tear rolling down his cheek. It felt like the end of everything good.
Chris twitched awake, muscles tense and gasping for air. His head was pounding and his heart was beating like a drum. He looked around. He was lying in bed in a white room with no other people. There was a black leather jacket on the backrest of the chair next to the bed and a plastic cup on a tiny table beside the chair. He was wearing a blue striped shirt and pants, and there were white slippers on the floor on the other side of the bed.
Suddenly the room door opened.
"Oh, you're awake!" a familiar, joyful voice said.
Chris got up sitting and craned to see behind the white curtains. "Darren?"