Chapter 31
Hermione woke to something wet and slobbery being pushed against her cheek. As she scrunched up her face, trying to get away, she heard a giggle. Opening one eye, she found herself staring into two highly amused hazel eyes. And a mouth with no teeth…that was drooling onto her shirt.
"Ugh, Jamie!"
The baby was pulled back a little to reveal Ginny, who'd been holding him up so he could give Hermione baby-kisses. Since Jamie was very young, they were less like kisses and more like wet whuffling.
"Good morning, Auntie Sleepy-Head!" Ginny said, obviously in an obscenely good mood for having caught her husband and his best friend sleeping together.
Hermione raised her head, which had apparently been pillowed on Harry's shoulder. Immediately, she felt the crick in her neck that told her she'd been lying in that uncomfortable position for some time.
In the chair beside her, Harry came awake groggily, a sleepy smile on his face as he saw his wife. He immediately held his arms out for Baby Jamie, who gurgled in excitement as his father cradled him.
"And good morning to you, too, Daddy Bed-head," Ginny said, with a kiss and an affectionate ruffling of Harry's dark hair.
"What time is it?" Harry croaked, trying to wipe the sleep from his eyes and realizing he still had his glasses on. He took them off and used his wand to clean them and straighten them back up from where they'd gotten crunched a little on the chair.
"Half six," Ginny replied. "The Healer has been and gone already. He came to check on Draco and found you two asleep on watch and decided not to wake you. When I came in, he gave me an earful about how I should have taken you, especially, home to rest up in bed."
Looking around the ward that remained unchanged from the night before, she added, "And I really should have. You both would have been more comfortable in your own beds. I doubt you were any use here."
Hermione stood up, trying to stretch the stiffness out of her back. She wasn't even going to bother looking in a mirror to find out whether her hair looked as bad as Harry's. "I'm staying, Gin."
She walked over to the pale man in the bed, who looked to have had the slightest of color restored to his skin since the night before. She noted the angry flesh above his heart still and gently touched his face.
"Who else is going to be here when he wakes up, if not me?" she asked, in a quiet voice. Draco was always so lonely. It tugged at her heart that he felt unwanted wherever he went. She hated the idea that he might wake up scared and alone. She wished there was a way she could let him know that she was here, waiting for him. "Who else is going to care?"
Harry rolled his eyes at her melodramatic questions, and pointed at himself. "Uh, me. His partner. Also, the person that rescued him."
Ginny swatted him lightly with her hand. "Hey, we helped!"
Harry held the baby up in between them as if to fend her off.
"Oh, real nice, Harry Potter." She snatched her baby back, and Baby Jamie cooed.
Hermione watched affectionately as Harry grabbed Ginny around the waist and put both his wife and his child on his lap.
The sweetness of the domestic scene in front of her suddenly reminded her of something.
"Oh, I can't believe I forgot!" she said. "Should someone owl Draco's mum to let her know that he's in hospital? Or even that he's okay?" She didn't know what the point would be, but she imagined that if she was a mum she'd want to know if her only child had been injured.
Harry's face was suddenly serious. "I don't think Draco would want that."
"You don't think he'd want to see his mother, considering he almost died?" she asked, disbelievingly.
Harry sighed and looked at her, considering something for a few moments. Then he told her, "Draco doesn't have a Next of Kin listed."
"What?" It seemed obvious that his Next of Kin would be his mother. He had barely a half-dozen other very distant relatives. "I don't see how that makes a difference."
"Because," Harry sighed, "it means he doesn't want anyone notified in the event of an emergency. This is not the first time he's almost died. It might be the closest he's come to actual death." He quickly amended that statement, "While on the job."
They looked at each other, acknowledging that Draco's life had likely had many near-death experiences in his past, much as theirs had.
"He's never asked to have anyone else notified," Harry continued. "And he's never amended his records, even though every year I point out that his paperwork is still blank."
Hermione turned back to look at the blond, remembering how he'd talked about his mother that night at dinner. Sighing, she hooked the nearest chair and dragged it to the bedside, reaching gently to hold his hand. It was warm and firm in hers, and it strangely made her feel just a little bit better.
"He thinks she doesn't love him," she said, forgetting for a moment that maybe it was something Draco wouldn't have wanted anyone else to know. She didn't censor her thoughts around Harry.
"His mother?" Harry questioned. "He thinks Narcissa doesn't love him? Why would he think that?"
She felt the slightest bit of defensiveness on Draco's behalf, even though she understood why Harry would seem surprised. "Surely you can see why he might feel that way. His parents all but abandoned him to their cause, letting him get caught up in Voldemort's War, despite knowing he would likely die. That's not exactly something you allow to happen to someone you love."
It was a bit of an oversimplification, but she realized she probably shouldn't be discussing Draco and his nebulous relationship with his mother, at least not with Harry.
Confused, he looked up at Ginny who just gazed steadily back at him. What message they exchanged between the two of them, for once, Hermione didn't know.
"But doesn't he know—" Harry began, only to be cut off by Hermione's yell.
"Oh my god!" She stood up. "He's shaking! Someone get the mediwizard!" She squeezed the hand that had previously been lying limply in hers and was now sporadically twitching.
She didn't see who had gone for the healer, but the mediwizard appeared in moments, his lime-green robes swishing out behind him in his haste to get to the bedside.
"If you please, Miss Granger," he said hurriedly, pushing her aside so that he could use his wand to take some diagnostic measurements.
Hermione felt her throat growing tighter and tighter as all of her fears from the night before seemed to gather and expand. A hand on her shoulder was surely Harry's, but she couldn't take her eyes off of the bed.
After a few moments, the Healer made a small grunt of satisfaction. "Ah, very good, much better than I'd expected."
"Better?" Hermione asked.
"Yes, he's fighting the sedation, actually," he chuckled. "He's ready to wake up, but his body is not strong enough on its own." He pointed his wand and muttered a quick, "Rennervate."
Draco came awake with a gasp, his eyes suddenly open wide. Just as quickly, he winced and turned his head. "Fuck, it's bright in here."
There was quite a commotion as the room was suddenly filled with healers and Aurors. As the Head of the Department, Harry was allowed to stay, but Ginny and Hermione were ushered out with the baby. Hermione had had just enough time to grab Draco's hand and give it a small squeeze, before Harry had apologetically told her to wait outside.
Despite having just regained consciousness, Draco needed to be debriefed on his mission and on the Dark Artifact that had been brought back.
Restlessly, Hermione waited in the corridor, while Ginny kept her company.
No sounds came from the room, as it was most likely warded against eavesdroppers.
When the door opened again, letting out the mass of officious-looking people, Hermione went to rush back in. Ginny's hand on her arm held her back for just a moment.
"Don't wait too long to tell him, Hermione," she advised quietly, referencing their conversation from the day before.
Hermione nodded, though her mind was already racing ahead into the room, eager to see Draco again.
As the last lime-green robe filed out, Hermione found herself alone in the room. The lights had been dimmed to a soft, warm glow.
It looked like Draco had fallen asleep again, exhausted.
She approached the bed carefully, not wanting to disturb him.
Though he looked tired, and was still very pale, he no longer had the deathly pallor of the enforced coma. He looked to be sleeping naturally.
Her chair was still by the bedside, so she scooted it closer, and then took up her previous position, gently taking his hand and holding it in both of hers.
The light touch caused his eyes to flutter.
When he spotted her next to him, the narrow, crimped look on his face melted away into a tired smile. "Granger," he said on a sigh.
She couldn't help but respond to that smile, and she reached up to softly touch his hair.
When he'd been brought in, that hair had been a muddy brown, caked with blood and dirt. She wouldn't have known it was him, but there was no mistaking those pointy features.
She wasn't sure she'd ever be able to forget the sight of him, so lifeless, covered in blood.
As she ran her fingers through the healer-cleaned locks, he leaned into her touch, pressing his cheek against her hand.
It was a small gesture, as it was clear he had very little energy, but it was her undoing. All of her strength began unraveling.
She tried to stop the tears as they formed behind her eyelids, but it was much too late, and Draco's face in front of her blurred.
Steadily, he watched her, those grey eyes unusually soft, but he didn't ask for an explanation.
Not even when she began to sob uncontrollably, her chest heaving with every breath. She kept trying to fight it, holding it in, but the tears kept coming.
"I was doing so good," she said, a hiccup escaping her, "and trying to be positive. They said you'd be all right, and I knew I just had to wait. Just keep it together for a little longer."
Futilely, she tried to wipe at her eyes with her arm, not taking her hand from his, or her other hand from where it rested against his face. She needed the contact too much. The reassurance of his presence beneath her fingertips.
"I was doing so good," she repeated. "And now I just can't anymore."
"So don't," was his simple answer.
Her crying resumed harder at that, as if he'd given her the permission she needed to have her breakdown.
She shouldn't be willing to take comfort from a man just barely rescued from his deathbed. It should be the other way around.
But she found herself half draped across him with his arm loosely around her as she cried for an embarrassingly long five minutes, her arms wrapped around his middle.
He smelled like potions and the metallic tang of blood. Except his hair, which smelled like soap.
As her breathing slowed down and returned to its normal rhythm, she pulled back, aghast at the burden she'd placed on a sick person.
He smirked up at her, his usual smirk but only at half-potency. "You missed me."
She gave a choked laugh through another hiccup. "You unbelievable git." She would have hit him, but she was too conscious of the purple bruising that was still across his side.
He grinned as if she'd given him a compliment. "Your unbelievable git."
She blew her nose on a napkin, but didn't try to hide her smile. "Yes, well, I've discovered I have a taste for git-ness, I suppose."
"That sounds promising." He playfully waggled his eyebrows at her, as she sat back down in her chair.
After a moment of silence, she said, solemnly, "I was so worried. More than I think I knew."
"So I gathered," he said, equally as serious. His breathing was slow and a bit labored in the silence. "For what it's worth, I was worried, too."
His words caused the tears to prick at her eyelids again, but this time she blinked them back. "What happened out there?"
He made a face like he didn't want to talk about it. "Nothing very different than the usual dangers on the job." He paused. "Well, it was a little different for me, I suppose."
He turned to look at her, the clouded look in his eyes clearing. She felt her breath catch and her heart skip at the way he watched her.
"It was the first time I was out there, dodging death, when I knew there was someone waiting for me to come back."
She thought about that interminable wait in the cream-colored lobby, about the way the fear had roiled through her, and she felt it all welling up again. Waiting was terrible.
"No, shhh," he hushed her, sensing the outburst coming back on. His hand reached up to gently touch her face. "I'm here, I'm back. I just—"
He brushed some of her hair out of her eyes, so he could see her more clearly.
"I just wanted to tell you because I liked the feeling. I liked knowing there'd be someone here when I got back. Finding a way home—to you—was the thing that kept me going."
His eyes were so deep as they took in her face, and time seemed to slow down.
She felt the words, then, rising up in her throat. Those words. If there was ever a time for them, it was surely now.
But she thought of the embarrassment from the other night when she'd spoken without thinking, and she told herself it was too soon.
She swallowed and said instead, quietly, "I'm glad you came back to me, Draco."
He smiled at her, as he leaned his head back against the pillow. His eyes had gone cloudy again, and he blinked slowly like he was trying to concentrate.
The potions made him sleepy.
"Rest now," she told him, noting the fluttering of his eyelids. "I'll be here when you wake up."
He nodded, his eyes drifting shut.
But then they shot open again.
"Wait," he said.
"What?" Her heart pounded painfully in her chest at the suddenness, and she squeezed his hand hard.
"My kiss," he said, his words barely above a whisper. "I think I should get a kiss." He pouted sleepily at her. "Been waiting for my kiss."
She laughed at his petulance, relieved there wasn't anything else wrong. She leaned over to touch her lips gently to his, and he didn't even move.
As she pulled back she noted that he'd fallen asleep.
Oh well, she'd just make sure to kiss him again later.
She sat back down, taking up the same position she had before. Even though she knew she ought to go home for some rest and a change of clothes, she couldn't bring herself to leave just yet.
She wiped at the remnants of the tears that were still damp on her face, savoring the relief that was now coursing warmly through her at hearing Draco's voice again.
The heavy emotions she'd released, after the long vigil of the day before, left her feeling drained. More so because the strength of them had surprised her.
She looked at his handsome, pointy face, unable to ignore the intense pull she felt, the twisting of her insides that told her that here was something very important. Something very precious.
She'd told him she might love him.
She'd told Ginny she suspected that she loved him.
But quietly sitting here with all of her emotions spilling out around him as he slept, she was suddenly quite certain that she did.
It glowed inside of her, undeniable.
She loved Draco Malfoy, with all of his sullenness and his arrogance and his humor and his surprising vulnerability.
The knowledge scared her.
Not the feeling itself…that was lovely and soft and warm.
No, it scared her because there was a part of her that didn't know if he could really love her back.
She knew that he was serious about caring for her, he had been very straightforward about his intentions.
But that didn't necessarily mean he would fall in love with her. What if he couldn't? What if after they'd been together for some time, he realized that he just didn't feel enough for her?
She knew Ron had cared for her, in the beginning. Even loved her, as they'd been such good friends. But somewhere along the way, that had faded, and he just couldn't love her the way she'd loved him.
She could see now, looking back, all the signs she'd ignored through the years. It was so hard to admit to herself sometimes that the love she'd thought they'd built had been hollow and empty.
The idea of going through that again was devastating.
What she felt for Draco was so much bigger, so much brighter…she could only imagine how much worse it would be to lose that.
Ginny had said to tell him soon. But what if the pressure of returning her love scared him away? What if it stifled him and made him feel chained up?
She sighed, trying to quiet the restless fears and insecurities that took up space in her head.
For several long moments she contemplated her feelings, watching Draco's chest rise and fall. His steady breathing calmed her and grounded her in the moment, instead of letting her get lost in the hazy, uncertain future.
She shouldn't even be worrying about this now. She was overthinking things, like she always did.
Her last relationship had developed slowly over years. By comparison, her relationship with Draco had barely even begun.
There was still plenty of time for them to enjoy the newness of their relationship, the romance and the excitement, before worrying about the permanence of it. Still plenty of time for him to fall in love with her.
She would wait, she decided. Just a little longer, anyway. And she'd watch her words a little more carefully.
Feeling more settled, she stood up again.
She had to go home and get changed for work. She wanted to stop in to tidy up a few things at the office. She planned on taking at least a few days off.
Maybe, if she hurried, she could be back before Draco woke up again.
She leaned over to kiss his forehead, and smiled as she thought she saw the corners of his lips quirk upwards in his sleep.
A/N: Ah, the halfway point of the most recent updates! I hope you are enjoying them all! Still plenty more to go!
S&R: CONSTRUCTIVE REVIEWS WELCOME (CRW), meaning feel free to tell me all, I just love hearing from you, and I'm always open to constructive feedback