A/N I would like to thank my followers and favourites so far! Truly amazed, so I am humbled that you have taken the time to read my story, thank you for taking a chance!

Again, I do not own Glee, or any songs that may appear in my story

'Santana I…I would love nothing more to be with you in every way possible, but I do think that we should take things slowly. There are still things that we need to know about each other and although I think I know you fairly well, there is some questions that I would like to ask you first.' Rachel said as she got up off Santana's lap. 'We need to tell each other what happened since we saw each last and before you sarcastically say earlier today, I mean the time we weren't in each other lives. So my first question, which in my heart I know you don't want me to ask, what really happened with you and Brittany?'

Santana's face fell. This was a topic that she wished she didn't have to revisit at all, but understood that Rachel longed for reassurance. 'Rachel, that is a hard subject but if I open up about it, you may see me cry and I'm not sure if I want to cry tonight, we were having such a lovely time together' Santana said and started to walk away in to the living room. 'Santana please' Rachel said with desperation in her voice. 'I just need to understand where it went wrong, so that I don't screw up things between us.' Santana spun round quickly. 'Rachel, I very much doubt you would do the same as Brittany, it's not your style, at least I don't think it is.'

They both stood in the living room looking at each other intently. 'Ok Rachel, I will let you in, but first let me sing this song about the situation and if you have any further questions, you can ask me.' Rachel nodded and smiled softly at Santana as she positioned herself at Rachel's piano.

Don't cry to me, if you loved me
You would be here with me
You want me, come find me
Make up your mind

Should I let you fall, lose it all
So maybe you can remember yourself?
Can't keep believing
We're only deceiving ourselves
And I'm sick of the lie
And you're too late

Don't cry to me, if you loved me
You would be here with me
You want me, come find me
Make up your mind

Couldn't take the blame, sick with shame
Must be exhausting to lose your own game, selfishly hated
No wonder you're jaded
You can't play the victim this time
And you're too late

Don't cry to me, if you loved me
You would be here with me
You want me, come find me
Make up your mind

You never call me when you're sober
You only want it 'cause it's over, it's over

How could I have burned paradise?
How could I?
You were never mine!

So don't cry to me, if you loved me
You would be here with me
Don't lie to me, just get your things
I've made up your mind!

Santana then put her head in her hands and sobbed. This is what she didn't want Rachel to see, her vulnerability. After all, she is Santana Lopez, known for her bad ass attitude in life. Rachel sat down next to her and wrapped her arm around her shoulder. 'I am sorry Santana, I made you relive that part of your life over again. Obviously I knew bits of why you and Brittany were over through Quinn, but that was some song choice.'

'The one person in the world at that time in my life, the one I loved, the one I promised to spend loving forever, through the good times and the bad, just broke me. My career really took off as you know, but Brittany, she was fine for a while, but then it became apparent that she wasn't handling my work load well, or time apart.' Sighed Santana. 'So, what happened, if you want to tell me or not it's fine babe.' Rachel asked softly.

Santana gave her a weak smile. 'She started going out more, drinking more. When I found out, I will admit I went all Lima heights on her, but she was too far gone Rach. We tried, hell I tried, we even went to therapy and I genuinely thought that we were getting somewhere until...' Santana's voice quavered. 'Until I walked in to our home. I could tell something just wasn't right. I looked around for Brittany. I finally found her in the bedroom, with someone else.' Rachel squeezed Santana's hand which she was now holding.

'What did you do?' whispered Rachel. Santana squeezed Rachel's hand. 'I was numb. In every way possible. At first I thought I was imagining things so I closed the door again. Once I realised that I was witnessing my wife cheat on me, I went in and well…it wasn't pleasant. Brittany begged me for forgiveness, that she wouldn't do it again, that it was a moment of weakness, but in my mind, even if you have that one moment and you act on it, your relationship may never come back from it. Ours never did.' Santana turned to Rachel and looked deep in to her eyes. 'So this I ask you. Are you willing to give us a go on a casual basis, or are you wanting a relationship? As I don't think I can come back from any more hurt.' Santana said with a heavy heart.

'Santana, I am willing to give us a go on more than a casual basis. The reason I asked you to explain what happened to you and Brittany, was to give me a clearer understanding on the situation, on you and to make sure that I do not do anything that may cause you hurt or pain. I understand how you felt. Well maybe not directly as Brittany cheated on you, but in a way, I feel cheated by Finn. By that I mean I feel cheated that he never got to fulfil his dreams, his ambitions, his goals. But I found it incredibly hard to move past losing him. I have never forgotten our time together, how he inspired me, how he continues to inspire me. With that, I think I better show you something.' Rachel slowly lifted up her top to reveal her Finn tattoo.

'Kurt and I had this little crazy moment and we went out and got tattoos. I told Kurt that I didn't go through with it as I wanted this to be something between Finn and I. My private way to feel connected to him in some way. I still talk to him. I touch the tattoo when I need inspired or his guidance. I guess I'm showing you as I want you to know about it and that I still need that bit of Finn left in my life. Out of our friends, your the only one I've ever showed it to.'

Santana stood up and towered over a seated Rachel. Looking down at her, eyes searching in hers, that look of understanding, or at least beginning to understand one another. Santana leaned down and kissed Rachel hard like she did in the dressing room earlier. Their tongues meeting, getting lost in their kiss. As the kiss slowed down, Santana whispered against Rachel's lips…'I understand...'

The girls then made their way to the sofa in silence and Santana sat to the left of the sofa and Rachel sat next to her. Gently touching Santana's thigh for assurance that she was there, Santana scooped Rachel in to a cuddle and they settled in front of the television. Santana had no fight in her, so Rachel won the film choice. Rachel snuggled in to Santana, sighing contently. Hoping that this was the start of something special.

Next Chapter: The day after

Featured song: Call me when your sober; Evanescence

A/N Thanks again for the follows and review! Appreciate it. Merry Christmas/Happy holidays to you all