Hey everyone! Still here, still writing. Believe it or not, this chapter was incredibly hard to write, despite having no duel at all, for a number of reasons. Regardless, I'd again like to thank MetalOverlord 2.0 for the scenes with Jalal and 7thLibrarian for his beta.
Also, a few readers were acute enough to point out I had missed a couple of fanmade cards last time, so they will be at the end of the chapter. So, without further ado….
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Now, I could start by saying something like, "as perfect as Diogenes' plan was, it had one flaw he never took into account", but that would be a gross understatement. It had dozens of flaws, and he knew about most of them. He was also smart enough to realize that as prepared as he was, he was not so bold as to believe he could prepare for anything. Thus, the reason platonics, despite being exemplars of Law, often make errors. They know too well of an axiom called The Law of Dynamic Negatives, referred to by your species as Finagle's Law.
This law states, "the perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum", or in plainer terms, "anything that can go wrong, will—in the worst way possible."
If you've watched the movie The Producers, you've seen one well-known example, but not all are the humorous variety. To give an example appropriate to the medium, the pro-duelist who called himself "X" ran a Mill Deck that made him undefeated and nearly unequalled, until he encountered Judai Yuki. With no knowledge of Neo-Spacians, for which his usually-prepared strategy was unprepared for, X was humiliated by having his own strategy used against him, losing via deck-out.
Platonics know about Finagle's Law of course, but try as they might, their failures are often attributed to it. They have studied Chaos Theory, hired Xaositect mercenaries, and jumped through every hoop they could think of, but no contingency plan they can devise has proven truly foolproof. This is the same reason the Blood War has raged for so many eons, the Lawful devils unable to make any headway against the countless hordes of Chaotic demons.
And it is a concept I myself know only too well. I wouldn't be writing this were it not.
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Chapter 59
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Stairway to Heaven
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ONE HOUR AGO:
"Ouch," said Hank.
He held his head and sat up. He was sitting in about a foot of water, in total darkness. He heard slow dripping, echoing softly. Am I in a sewer? he thought. Damn, I hate sewers.
Okay, retrace your steps... There was the duel between Red, Penelope, and the weird girl, then Jalal kicked the door down down…
He stopped. He heard soft, sloshing footsteps. Someone was sneaking up.
He drew his weapon, leaping at the shadowy assailant…
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THIRTY MINUTES AGO:
"...Gold."
Drago's remark was on the money, so to speak, and there could now be no doubt the reason why the door had been so securely locked. Ingots of the precious metal were neatly stacked in front of them the way they would in any vault.
Of course, this huge, cavernous room was not a vault. It looked more like an enormous steel mill. Bins and hoppers seemed ready to deliver metal to conveyor belts, which in turn seemed ready to deliver it to giant cauldrons hanging above odd devices and machines, with gargantuan furnaces that seemed ready to heat them. Still, while this odd factory was not being used right this moment, it did seem ready to spring to life at any minute.
Uomo lifted one of the gold bars, straining slightly as he lifted it and tested its weight. "Yeah, that's real gold all right."
"Not just gold," added Tormento. He pointed to other racks, which held just as many silver ingots as they did gold. Copper, platinum, and quite a bit of iron was present too.
Drago's face fell a little in disappointment. This was a king's ransom in precious metals for sure, but they obviously had no way to transport it all.
"I've seen places like this before," said Fanciullo. He strained to look up, then nodded. "Enchanted creche forges and moulds, used in the construction of special golems."
"They're buildin' golems out of gold?" asked Drago. "Ain't iron and stone cheaper?"
"Cheaper, sure," said Fanciullo, "so long as you want a golem that's strong, durable, and resilient, but not too smart, like you mugs. If you want a golem with brains, you need stuff that holds enchantments better." He pointed to two smaller cauldrons over a very large one. "They melt the gold and silver and combine it, creating a magically potent compound called electrum. And in turn, they use this as a component of even stronger magically produced metals. They're building something."
"Think they already built it," said Nitro.
As they turned in the direction he was pointing to, Uomo Tormento, and Drago drew weapons from their coats with loud clicks.
"Diogenes," said Fanciullo.
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NOW:
"Can't you do anything to stop it?" shouted Karl, grabbing Dunstan by the collar.
Dunstan sadly shook his head. "A failsafe prevents anyone except a platonic of at least quarut ranking from aborting the program. Believe me, if I could -"
"Hey, what's this?"
The comment had come from Philip, who was on the other side of the console set. Philip dropped Dunstan, then propelled himself into the swivel chair, sliding across the room to Philip.
The screen said, "DOWNLOADS IN PROCESS" and another countdown with 6:34 remaining, 90 seconds less than the one on the bomb.
"Diogenes is still here," exclaimed Eden. "And he's downloading his memories!"
"Actually, he's making two downloads, simultaneously," said SAL, directing Karl's hand as he went over the console screen, indicating a vaguely man-shaped icon with an "XI" in the center. This small figure was slowly "filling" the icon as it would a loading bar. "The first download is into a new platonic body in this facility, something he's clearly done nine times before. The second download is -" She stopped. "He's downloading into a computer at that Temple we saw. The Riding Duel was what established a connection."
"Or the Temple itself!" exclaimed Prospero. "He's using himself like a Trojan virus, hacking himself into a supercomputer of godlike power!"
"With an upgraded backup and a 90-second window to escape," added Karl.
"Over my already-dead body," groaned Dunstan. He half-dragged himself to the console, weakly pushing Karl aside. "This I can stop. Hopefully if his download is aborted, he'll halt the bomb on his own."
"You sure?" asked Sofia.
"No, I'm not sure, but its the only shot we -"
"LOOK OUT!" yelled Francis.
He was almost lucky he was barely able to stand. Hanging his head while Jennifer propped him up hsd let him see the grenade rolling into the room from the entrance they had come in. Still, Dunstan's wounds were far worse, and he was far too exhausted to dive for cover as the Shadowchasers did...
"Pathetic," said Baby Bonnie Hood, right before it exploded.
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ONE HOUR AGO:
"I am SO sorry Miss," stammered Hank, to the old woman. He remembered that Philip had called her "Viola", but never got the last name.
"It's okay," she said with a sigh. She held the glowing rock up to address him to his face, which he assumed was enchanted with Continual Light. "I'm getting too old for this anyway."
"Seriously, I -"
"Button it!" she ordered. He actually stood at attention in response, and she chuckled a little. "Besides, it's kind of my fault we're down here."
"Come again?" asked Hank.
Viola started to explain as she fumbled with a deck case on her belt. "See, some sort of spell went off when Jalal kicked the door down, and it triggered my protective Contingency spell - and a wild surge, it seems. Happens a lot." She chuckled again. "One time this happened in Bombay and got I ended up in Los Angeles! Guess I was lucky I didn't end up on the moon."
"So do all you guys know Wild Magic?"
"Naw, just me, Dram, and Prospero. Well, and Philip. And… Philip likely got a few others to try it… Well, you know how Wild Magic can be." She changed the subject. "Do any of your friends have a deck with Slate Warrior?"
"Huh? Uh, I don't think so, why?"
"I know Philip does," she explained. "I think we're still in the TARDIS, and this is some sort of drainage tunnel. If I cast Find the Path on this card, it can point us in the direction of the closest additional copy of Slate Warrior."
"Isn't the TARDIS on Dr. Who the size of a planet?"
"The size of a solar system, I believe," said Viola with a nod.
"So what if this one is the same, and your surge blew us a thousand miles away from Philip?"
"I try not to think of such things!" Viola let out a long sigh. "I could try to teleport us, but seeing as we'd be doing a 'blind jump' -"
"No thank you!" exclaimed Hank. He knew the dangers of a "blind" teleport. If you tried to zap yourself into a place you weren't familiar with, there was a very good chance you'd end up off your target, possibly above the target (and plummet to the ground) or below it (and would likely be kaput). He'd just have to cross his fingers.
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TEN MINUTES AGO
Multiple gunshots hit the platonic's chest, bouncing off, but electing no response whatsoever.
"Stop shooting, you twits!" ordered Fanciullo.
Diogenes - if it was indeed him - barely seemed like a threat. His arms and legs were shackled to a pedestal, with a thick tube in his back anchoring him to a large machine. His bowed head showed no sign of life or activity. The hourglass that composed its cranium was devoid of sand.
"Is he dead?" asked Tormento.
As Fanciullo cautiously moved up to the pedestal, Nitro noticed a desk nearby with a laptop on it. He moved towards it as his boss tapped the android's chest.
"No, not dead," he mused. "More like, 'not born yet'. This creche forge is used to build platonics!".
"Seems he's been busy making improvements," said Nitro. "Specifically on alchemy and metallurgy." He clicked on a file. "This file claims this is the eleventh model of the Diogenes series, with a casing 50% stronger than the tenth." His voice trembled a little. "And over five thousand times as strong as the original."
"Guy's expecting trouble, huh?" said Drago, scratching his head.
Then, several levels above them, the bomb set by the previous model of this series was set. The green cracks from the nano infection started to spread on the walls around the five gangsters, covering the cauldrons, belts, machinery, and even the desk, Nitro pushing away from it in panic.
But, he saw the screen switch as the same download program started.
They all turned to the still-inert shell of Diogenes-XI, the one thing not affected by the nano infection, as the hourglass inside its metallic skull started to fill with sand…
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NOW:
Bonnie was standing in the doorway, smiling sweetly and waving at them, cuddling her assault rifle the way a child would a teddy bear The charred body of her victim slumped over the console.
"You murdering piece of -" cursed Sofia. She drew her sword from her hip and lunged at the killer, and saw her open her eyes briefly before slamming face-first into… something, falling on her stomach..
"Ouch," she said.
"Force field?" said Prospero.
Sofia sat up, and touched the space in front of her where she had hit, grunting another small "ouch!" as sparks hit her finger.
"No, Anti-Life Barrier," answered Bonnie. She pointed the weapon, at them. "Now raise 'em," she ordered in her more-serious tone.
They knew what an Anti-Life Barrier was, as it was a type of magical barrier favored by two types of wizards, necromancers and the type who built golems. It only blocked living things, meaning undead and constructs could pass through unharmed. Clearly, such a barrier was very useful to Platonics.
They had no idea how Bonnie had conjured it up, but they saw her clever use of it. Given the shape of the room and the width of the door, she could easily aim at any part of it. Bullets were not living things.
"Bonnie, in case you didn't know -" started Sofia..
"Yeah, yeah, the bomb," she said. "I know a way out, maybe even more than one way, and I actually might consider sharing. I just need her." She pointed with the rifle.
"Eden?" asked Philip.
"Me?" asked the gautiere.
"Someone wants a word with you before this whole deal goes down. No idea why, nor do I care."
Eden nervously glanced at the console where Dunstan's now-truly-dead body was slumped over. The bomb's countdown was at 6:32.
"So, unless you'd all like to be blown out into never-never-land, all of you except her get on the floor."
Where could Jalal have gotten to? thought Jennifer.
Then, to everyone's surprise, the whole room shook violently with a repeated pounding. Or rather, a stomping.
Francis was the first to realize what this meant, doing his best to straighten up as the Shokkan General burst through the corridor ceiling in all her glory, aiming a downward drop-kick at Baby Bonnie Hood, knocking her over and causing the weapon to fall with a loud clatter.
"Sheeva!" exclaimed Karl. "Almost forgot about you…"
"A lady like that would be awfully hard to miss," added Prospero.
"Later!" she urged, holding up both of her right arms. "You humans do what you came to do and leave this to me."
Bonnie tried to reach into her basket for another weapon, but the Shokkan kicked it away from her and away from the blocked door. "Ugh," groaned the assassin. "Whose side are you on?"
"I'm on the side of sanity, Hood, which means not on yours."
She cracked all four of her knuckles in a swift motion, then made another leap towards Bonnie, hoping to use her powerful stamp to crush her flat, but Bonnie wasn't surprised this time, rolling out of the way and standing with a fighting stance. Philip helped Sofia up, while Prospero and Jenn rushed to the blocked entrance to watch.
"You're calling me crazy? Whatever happened to that proud warrior race girl attitude?"
"That's the whole point, Bonnie!" shouted Sheeva. "It's pointless to fight a foe who can't fight back!"
"Can't fight ba-" started Prospero, almost offended, but a zip-lip motion by Philip made him shut it.
"In my own world I have no problem fighting the Earthrealm Warriors. They can take it, they can withstand it, and they can fight back. They all know how it works. But in this world, it 'works' differently. The humans here can't withstand a single punch." She lifted a piece of broken stone from the floor, casually crushing it like it was Styrofoam. "What challenge is there for a warrior when an army of even the strongest warriors would fall to one Shokkan footsoldier? It's not fighting, it's murder!"
"Oh come on, it's fun!" exclaimed Bonnie.
"Fun?" asked Sheeva. She put her lower hands on her hips with a look of utter disgust, then looked towards the control room, where the Pan Dimensional Homing Device still hovered in its glass tube. "Sure, sure, let's have more fun then, let's have a whole party. We'll use that thing to call Maleficent, see if there was any reason Sleeping Beauty's folks didn't invite her."
"Other than the obvious assumption that she was a sadistic, evil sorceress who everyone was afraid of?" said SAL.
"Given where she lived, it would have been hard for a postman to deliver an invitation," added Jennifer.
"You guys aren't helping…" said Karl, who was nervously trying to finish what Dunstan had started.
"Let's invite Sweeny Todd too and ask if he can cater it!" shouted Sheeva. She leapt at Bonnie, taking the assassin by surprise and slugging her in the face. "Why not invite Beetlejuice and have him DJ? I hear Calypso is making a comeback."
Bonnie slugged the Shokkan in the stomach, but Sheeva's rock-hard abs made it only an annoyance, and she lifted the much smaller fighter with her lower arms.
"Why stop there?" she cursed. "Let's invite Carmen Sandiego. She can steal the Taj Mahal so we'll have a great place to have it in!"
She slugged Bonnie with her upper arms, holding her pinned with the lower ones, again and again. "There's no limit, Bonnie! What's to stop some eco-terrorist madman from thinking it would be a good idea to summon the entire Yuuzhan Vong fleet?" Karl nearly fumbled on the keyboard while typing at the sound of that; he had seen a paperback copy of Vector Prime among the stack of books and DVDs on the consoles.
"At least when Sonya and Jax called us monsters, it was hyperbole. Here its literal." She looked at Bonnie, who seemed punch drunk. with most of the fight knocked out of her. "There's no limit to the deadly things that could come from this device, no matter how dangerous something is, you can find something worse." She smiled evilly, her fangs showing. "In fact, I have the perfect way to prove it. Antisthenes summoned you here because you were the most sadistic monster in your game, but were still human. I'm not human…" She lifted Bonnie high with all four of her arms. "AND I'M KICKING YOUR ASS!"
She hurled her foe across the hallway, into a stack of containers, which fell on her with a loud clatter.
There was a loud, buzzing alarm, and big, red, X's appeared on all of the consoles. "Download interrupted," said a voice that sounded like Diogenes, but scratchier. "Demolition sequence halted."
Everyone in the room breathed a sigh of relief as the countdown froze at 2:34.
"Thank the maker," said Prospero. "Good job Mr. Hudson."
"Uh, that… wasn't me…" said Karl.
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TWENTY MINUTES AGO:
"Don't worry," assured Viola, "at the very least, it seems Philip's Slate Warrior is the only one in this complex."
"Shh!" said Hank, pointing up ahead.
She quieted, as a light and more footsteps started to come from a bend in the corridor. Hank lifted his sword again...
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TEN MINUTES AGO:
"Will you mugs put your backs into it?" shouted Fanciullo. "He's gonna be cranky when he wakes up, y'know!"
His directions were intended at Drago, Tormento, and Uomo, who were all trying to yank the thick cord from Diogenes-XI's back, and only wearing themselves out in the process. Nitro was trying to figure out if he could use the laptop to shut down the process, but most of the files on it were locked with codes.
"Y'know boss, I don't see YOU doing much good here," growled Drago.
Of course, most of the time, Fanciullo would have clocked him good for saying that, but Drago had a valid point. His initial reaction once they had realized what was happening was to draw the special revolver he had used on Sylvester, and fire two rounds. But it seemed a blast of cold able to bring an efreet down couldn't even smudge this guy's paint job.
He was not looking forward to what would happen when it woke up. Which it would do in five minutes.
"Boss, I think you can do something here," said Nitro. "Think you can get up there?" He pointed to a grid catwalk up ahead. "I think whatever started this download activated an auxiliary generator to do it, so if you -"
"Cut the juice, I'm on it," replied the don, and dashed towards the ladder leading up. He did hear Nitro shout "WAIT!" behind him, indicating there was something else to it,
Still, he didn't seem worried, and was able to scurry up and across the catwalk with ease, knocking down the door Nitro had pointed to without even trying the knob. "No problem! He called back. I can -"
He stopped. When Nitro had called it a "generator", this was not what he had been expecting…
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Of all the ways Jalal had imagined someone might attempt to kill him, an electrified butt slam hadn't even been considered. With the power of Ornstein's lightning fueling him, Smough had picked up considerable speed. To make matters worse the crackling aura surrounding him made his already dangerous attacks far deadlier.
The aforementioned butt slam shook the cathedral as a spider web of lightning bolts radiated out from around the executioner when he hit the ground, wreathing Jalal in tongues of fire causing him to howl as his muscles started spasming. Looking up as his muscles involuntarily tensed and relaxed at random, it took everything he had to throw himself out of the way before Smough's hammer came crashing down.
Jalal was running out of options, Smough had long since destroyed any remaining pillars that might provide cover or concealment, and his rifle was far out of reach. As he staggered to his feet, his teeth clacking loudly as he fought to regain control of his body, another booming laugh rumbled out of the golden titan as he leveled his hammer in front of him like a lance and charged.
Just before Smough was on him, Jalal sighed. "As cliché as it may sound, I was hoping it wouldn't come to this. At least I can say with the utmost honesty-"
Smough slammed into Jalal like an electrified freight train, but as he was shoved back across the room he suddenly began to dig in his heels robbing the executioner of his momentum. A sound like the creaking of a ship's hull filled the air as Jalal's hands gripped the hammer, his nails slowly lengthening into vicious claws, his bronze flesh taking on a golden glint and now resembling...scales?
Jalal stared up at Smouth as more of his exposed skin continued to turn into golden scales, his eyes now jade with black reptilian pupils as he bared inhuman fangs. "-You're the first person in quite some time to force me to cut loose..."
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FIFTEEN MINUTES AGO:
"Douglas?" gasped Hank.
His half-assed surprise attack had, again, ambushed an ally, but this time he could take comfort in the fact that Douglas had made the same mistake.
"Thought ya'd be glad ta see me, lad!" laughed the Scotsman.
"You seem happy," said Viola.
"Ah am, wait till ya see what ah found, see -"
Before he could say anything else, the nano infection hit…
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FIVE MINUTES AGO:
Like looking into the jaws of Moloch, thought Fanciullo.
The stifling-hot room he had entered was dominated by a steam-powered monstrosity of a machine, one that brought to mind nothing less than an angry idol demanding sacrifice, its eyes burning with rage holding its furnace-like jaws wide open.
As Fanciullo got past the initial shock, he saw that the "eyes" were in fact extra-large Esylum gems, attuned to Fire, which was powering the giant furnace, and there was a ring of eight smaller Wind-attuned gems above them, which the huge Fire stones were drawing power from. He'd later learn the whole system, and would theorize that the Wind gems were drawing energy from sixteen Water stones, which were in turn drawing it from 32 Earth stones. He'd think about that later, for now, he had only one thought: I gotta stop this thing!
He aimed his revolver at those giant gems and fired three rounds…
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TWO MINUTES AGO:
"Ah figured this was some sort'a crystal ball, 'cept it's a cube."
That is did. The corridor had terminated in a tripod holding a softly-glowing white cube.
"Same idea, actually," said Viola. "Crystals like this are used by dwarven and gnomish rune magicians, a way to communicate with the outside in the case of mining accidents." She held the light closer to the device. "It's a crude magical device, but I think I can use it."
"You gonna call for help?" asked Douglas.
"No, I'm 'gonna' use it to scry Philip. Then we can teleport out with better success."
She gripped the crystal and focused, as runes appeared on the surface. "Uhm, just so you know," she continued, "the best I can do here is change a likely 'blind' jump to a 'nearsighted' one."
Good luck, thought Hank. We'll both need it.
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STILL TWO MINUTES AGO
The pain in his arms - not to mention in his spine, from hitting the wall behind him - reminded Fanciullo that he'd disregarded the recoil again, but it seemed his assault on the generator almost done the job. One of the huge gems was shattered, the other was cracked.
But almost wasn't enough, the thing was still running. In fact, the if he had compared it to an angry idol before, he certainly did NOW, as it seemed infuriated.
He lifted the revolver one more time:
CLICK!
He was almost relieved that his men weren't there. That was a rookie mistake that would have cost him his life had his target been someone able to fight back. Of course, he had forgotten he had used a round on Sylvester, and was out of ammo.
He dropped the gun and looked from left to right quickly for something else. A tool cabinet was in the corner. He made a rush for it and tore open the doors.
Wrenches, pliers, hammers, screwdrivers…
Then he saw it, an industrial-size monkey wrench hanging on the door, the size of a baseball bat.
He grabbed hold of it, then rushed towards the giant machine, screaming in pain as he touched the hot surface and climbed up to where that last red gem was. He nearly lost his grip, but pulled himself above the hatch door with his free hand. Then he grabbed the tool with both hands and swung…
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It had been a long time since Jalal had dipped into this particular form of blood magic, and even only drawing upon it partially was a terrible risk. But in this case the benefits were undeniable, as with the partial physical manifestation of his dragon heritage the tide of the battle was quickly turning.
The lightning around Smough's armor and hammer still brought him pain, but it did little to deter Jalal as he began to exchange a furious series of blows with the towering executioner, his fists denting the titan's armor as though it was tin foil with every punch, every kick. Even as Smough swung his hammer in a wide swing to get him in the side, all it took was Jalal raising his arm in a block to stop the weapon's momentum.
With his other arm free he delivered a brutal punch to Smough's midsection leaving a massive dent, the executioner staggering back with a grunt of air being forced out of his lungs. Tossing aside the hammer Jalal got around behind Smough and wrapped his arms around his waist as best he could, and with a roar that shook all of Anor Londo, lifted the golden behemoth into the air and slammed him into the ground in a flawless German Suplex.
The tilework shattered from the impact as Smough was driven through the floor of the cathedral like a tent spike, and when the dust settled the only part of him that was still visible was his rear end and legs sticking straight up. Straightening up and working a kink out of his back with a curse under his breath, Jalal wiped the sweat from his brow as the scales covering his flesh peeled away like burning paper, littering the ground as he heaved for breath.
"Right...that's enough fun for me, I think I'll be taking tomorrow off assuming we live through the rest of today." He groaned sitting down next to the fallen executioner before he pulled out a cigar from his pocket. "You don't mind if I smoke, right?" Not expecting an answer or truly needing one, he struck a match on the side of the brute's armor, then took a nice long pull and let the smoke out slowly.
NOW:
"I don't know why the bucket of bolts stopped his countdown," said Karl, "but I'm not complaining."
"Human, you think you can use that?" said Sheeva, pointing to the Pan Dimensional Homing Device. "As tempting as it is to break her neck, it might be better to send her back to her world."
"NEVER!" screamed Bonnie's voice. They all turned to see her get up as she shoved the barrels away. And now she had swapped her assault rifle for a submachine gun.
Sheeva pounced, swatting the weapon away as she tackled the assassin. "DO it!" she screamed to Karl.
Bonnie seethed in rage and kicked Sheeva much harder in the midsection this time.
I felt that, thought the Shokkan. She was holding back before.
"Funny you ever thought so lowly of humans, Sheeva, seeing as your ass is the one that gets kicked by them all the time. I mean, I played MK9 once, have you ever won a fight with one?"
Truthfully, the point Bonnie had made was the biggest reason Sheeva hated this world so much. She remembered plainly being beaten, humiliated, and mocked by the Earthrealm and Edinan warriors. The victories she assumed she'd had were much fainter in her mind.
And now Bonnie was mocking her too, laughing as she slugged her hard in the face. "Almost as if 'punching bag' was in your job description." She stood up. "Kinda wonder if 'stripper' is in it too, I mean seriously, look at that outfit. Do you even -"
She was cut off by a bestial snarl as she was tackled.
"Come on, guys, find it!" urged Karl. As he and Philip worked the consoles, the others were looking through the large piles of DVDs and magazines, searching for the Darkstalkers game.
Eden was, of course, doing the same, but as she rooted through the drawers, she noticed a black ledger. What truly caught her eye was the symbol on the cover. She put it aside, and kept looking for the right game.
"Uh, is this the one?" asked Prospero.
He had found the DVD. It had been broken in half.
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"Think he's dead?"
"Dunno, he looked worse than this on St. Patrick's Day."
You clowns better hope I'm dead, thought Fanciullo, as he strained to open his eyes.
"I got dibs on his watch if he is."
Oh, I'd like to see you try it, Tormento, thought the don.
"Guys, I think he's breathin'. Barely?"
"Should we try CPR?"
THAT made Fanciullo sit up with a start. "Don't even THINK about it!" he yelled, knocking the three bodyguards over.
As he stood up, he looked down, sadly, at his now-ruined suit. "Copa dosta," he said with a sigh.
He looked over at Diogenes XI, or what was left of it. Breaking the gems had somehow caused the hourglass to shatter, and the whole thing seemed inert.
"You should have seen it, boss," said Tormento, "it blew its top! Ugh!"
He grunted as Fanciullo shoved past him, towards Nitro, who was still typing. "What now?" he demanded.
"I think I've hacked into at least some of the lab notes here, boss. Maybe I can figure out what this super-alloy is made of. And maybe if I do, I can whip up something that can take these folks down. Worth a shot, right?"
Fanciullo nodded, and sat down on the rubbed his head.
"Here we go," said Nitro, "think I have the metallurgy recipe right here. Let's see…" He traced his finger along the screen. "45% titanium, 25% electrum, 10% orichalcum, 10% adamantine, 5%... uh-oh."
He looked closer. "...tighmaevril."
"Is that the -" said Fanciullo
"Uh-huh."
"What? We don't like high-mavril?" asked Drago.
"Tighmaevril, most wizards and smiths call it bloodsilver," explained Fanciullo. "It's a very rare and very unstable ore, created when a deity's blood spills on the soil of a mortal world. Not exactly easy to come by."
"But… It's only 5%, how bad can that be?"
"Drago, if it were 5% tighmaevril and 95% tissue paper this would be a problem." Nitro popped open his briefcase as he spoke. "Tighmaevril is not only a very strong metal that can hold the mightiest enchantments, it's very unstable. If used wrong, weapons or armor made from it can do as much harm to the user as they could to whoever fights him."
He rubbed his chin. "Well, the remaining 5% are all trace amounts of common alloys. I may be able to whip up something using the stuff our, ahem, host has here."
"Okay, okay, Drago, guard the door," ordered Fanciullo. "Tormento, you do whatever Nitro says. Uomo, you come with me."
These things think they're so tough, he thought, but everything has a soft spot somewhere. It's all a matter of finding that soft spot, and then hitting it as hard as you can.
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Whether the DVD had broken in the fight or whether Bonnie had done so intentionally was impossible to tell, but given how unconcerned she seemed about it, the latter was more likely.
"Shame Shao Kahn isn't here to shout 'Finish Her!' but at least we have an audience."
Bonnie stamped her foot down on Sheeva's chest, and the Shokkan warrior cried out in pain. She pushed her cloak aside, taking a loaded Glock 19 from a holster on her belt. She aimed it at the spot right between the Shokkan's eyes. Then she turned to the Shadowchasers.
"Last chance, everyone," she said, daring them to stop her.
No answer. In fact, to Bonnie's surprise, Eden and Philip had suddenly looked a lot more smug.
"What? You…"
Suddenly she figured it out. She tried to turn around, but it was" too grabbed her from behind, gripping the assassin in a crushing bear hug.
"Looks like you were a little off-target, Viola," said Hank from behind him. "Not a bad thing, though."
"Mmf, ergh, grm," grunted Bonnie as she tried to wrench herself free.
"Ya know, lass," said the hulking Shadowchaser. "I always thought Red Riding Hood was kinda dumb."
That's it, Douglas, keep her occupied, thought Karl. He and the others were still rifling through the magazines and tapes, with less scrutiny in mind.
"Ah mean, goin' inta the woods at night, talkin' to strange wolves, and not bein' able ta tell her own grandmother from a wolf in drag? Well, ah'm kinda wonderin' now if the wolf got a bad rap there!"
"So now what?" asked Sofia,
Karl started to type quickly. "From what I know about an Anti-Life Barrier, a wizard has to concentrate to keep it going. Bonnie isn't even a wizard, but I figure whatever method she's using to hold the barrier in place will give soon. With the path to her world cut off, we'll have to improvise."
"If we can't send her back to her world," asked Philip, "can we send her somewhere else?"
"That's the general idea, but I have no idea where."
This was, indeed, something of a dilemma. B.B. Hood obviously didn't belong here, but the idea of dumping her on another world for the inhabitants to handle didn't rub him the right way. In fact, in most of the places in these works, she'd just have more opportunities to continue what she'd been doing before, hunting and murdering non-humans, either for profit or a sick sense of amusement.
"How about that one?" asked Francis.
Karl looked down at the floor and saw where he was pointing, to a paperback book that had fallen there. Karl smirked as he picked it up.
Dirty pool there, Francis, said SAL, under her "breath."
Karl placed it on the pedestal next to the keyboard and resumed typing..
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"Those, those, and those," ordered Fanciullo.
Uomo set to work grabbing the things the don was pointing to, which they had found in what looked like a cross between a foreman's office and a meth lab, taking the bottles of chemicals and portents and stuffing them in his own Bag of Holding. In truth, Fanciullo wasn't specifying what to take, but "when in doubt, take everything", as his father used to tell him.
Still, it was hard for him to keep his mind on one subject. The cost of those six special bullets and his suit was a heavy blow, but his mind couldn't get off one little thing.
You'd think using bloodsilver would violate a few of a varakhut's directives, he thought. They're supposed to enforce the laws of the gods, but wouldn't even looking for bloodsilver make someone a thief of divine power? Could Antitheses be that broken?
Uomo was reading the label on a bottle he had taken from a cabinet. "Fatal if swallowed, poisonous if inhaled. Corrosive - may cause severe eye damage and/or skin irritation. Good to know." He chucked it in the bag with the other stuff.
"Yeah, yeah," warned his boss, "let's not tempt fate any further, okay?"
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As Karl typed and everyone else on his side of the barrier watched, Douglas made a rather brutal move, turning Bonnie towards them and slamming her into the barrier, sparks from the magic hitting her in the face.
"ENOUGH!" she yelled, She made a savage backwards kick, hitting the burly Shadowchaser in the groin, knocking him into both Viola and Hank and knocking all three of them down..
She didn't even notice as she turned around to face him that she was on the other side of the barrier - or rather, where it had been - and Karl had hit the Enter key.
"Even if I have to take myself out with you, I'll -"
"Uh, Bonnie?" said Sheeva.
"Huh?" she said. Then she saw a portal open in front of her, a silvery, reflective disk of astral magic. .
"Game over!" shouted Sheeva, and she appeared from above again, giving Bonnie a powerful kick that sent her tumbling through the portal. She watched for a few seconds, watching B.B. Hood spiraling through the void beyond the portal.
Karl hit the Escape Key, and the portal imploded on itself with a "BAMPH".
Baby Bonnie Hood was gone.
"Phew!" said Sheeva, wiping her brow.
"Where'd ya send her to, anyway?" asked Hank.
"See for yourself." Karl tossed the paperback towards him. It was the original novel, Game of Thrones..The first in the series later called Song of Ice and Fire.
"Smooth," exclaimed Jennifer.
"A fitting punishment, I would say," said SAL. "She might be able to dominate the inhabitants there until she runs out of ammunition. After that, most of her equipment will be inert junk, and it will be a true case of survival of the fittest."
"Well, I've had enough," added Sheeva. She noticed Mortal Kombat Supreme: Kollectors' Edition on the desk, and picked it up. "I'm leaving too."
"You sure, Sheeva?" asked Francis.
Sheeva nodded, handing the game to Karl. "I wasn't lying just then. And your world, with so much dependence on technology and computers, well, no offense, but it all turns my guts to water. Besides, I'm getting homesick quick." She turned to Francis, smirked and winked. "Still, it was… pleasurable at times."
"Whatever you say," said Karl. he started to type again, and another portal started to form.
"I promise, Sheeva," said Francis, "the next time I play Mortal Kombat, I… won't go easy on you."
The Shokkan simply nodded and smiled again as the portal closed around her. She was gone.
"So, now what?" asked Prospero.
"First off, I have to sit down for a minute," said Viola. "I'm seriously getting old. Is everyone here?"
"Everyone except Jalal and Wells," answered Hank, "so I think that means Karl is in charge."
"Then here's the plan," said Karl, still typing. "Douglas, you guard the door and yell if anyone shows up. I'm going to try to run the program Diogenes installed, which I believe Bonnie was referring to when she said she knew a way out. Given the file name, it's a transport to, well, I believe Philip has a map..."
Philip nodded, then took it from his belt pouch and unfolded it, the same map he had shown Penelope and Red Feather. As he spread it out, Eden craned her neck to look.
She read the text next to the odd map out loud: "Stroll down memory lane, walk down the road of regrets, and enter the doorway to oblivion,where the sage sits and pens the book that writes reality."
"Clearly the 'book' is an allegory. But it does seem this is an actual place."
"And Antisthenes is already there," said Prospero.
"Criminy, ah almost forgot about him!" exclaimed Douglas.
"Unfortunately, yes," continued Karl, "but he must be stopped. Once we open the gate, I'll stay behind to clean up the mess this thing has made, while everyone else can clear a path between here and whatever he's after. Then, all we have to do is confront him and take him down.
"Uh, this may take a few minutes…"
Eden sat down, and looked at the logbook she had picked it, she recognized the written language quickly, It was Deep Speech, a language spoken by diplomats and merchants among the dark elves, duergar, deep gnomes, and other subterranean races. And the guatierre, for that matter. The script was handwritten and earmarked, as if it had been copied from another source by a scribe.
Seeing as she recognized the handwriting, that was very likely. She started to read:
Exaltation 12, 3rd Year of Factol Ylem's reign
She stopped, considering the date. This was, of course, the planar calendar, which used 17 months, each with 21 days apiece. Exaltation 12 would land around the middle of March. The years were measured from the beginning of the rule of whoever was in charge of the Fortress of Disciplined Enlightenment, but she'd never heard of one named Ylem.
She shrugged and went on.
The missive handed to me by the seems troublesome. The last such instance of theft from the Grand Library of Thoth was 54.3 rotations ago, and even then, the offender was caught within a few hours. I am skeptical of the authenticity of this claim. Nonetheless, I will have my staff investigate the alleged burglary, as the potential repercussions of such a theft could be dire.
Exaltation 20, 3rd Year of Factol Ylem's reign
The Zelekhut has given a report that seems to substantiate the original claim, and the severity of the threat seems more than I had expected. Given the information gathered by via standard interrogation of witnesses and analysis of evidence, it seems several items of value were pilfered from a vault in one of the Grand Library of Thoth's antechambers. My directive is clear, I must find those responsible for this violation of divine law, inflict appropriate discipline, recover the stolen items, and return them to their rightful owners at the Grand Library of Thoth, preferably in that order.
I have dispatched the Zelekhut who reported this incident, plus two additional Zelekhut and a Kolyarut overseer. I predict an 86% chance of success within a week.
"So, assumin' we find him, what exactly are we gonna do?" asked Douglas, cutting of her train of thought.
"Hopefully an opportunity will present itself," answered Hank.
Eden resumed reading:
Perseverance 3, 3rd Year of Factol Ylem's reign
The message received from the Kolyarut indicates they have located the violators at a bandit camp in the 4th quadrant of the Outlands. Chances of success upgraded to 92%.
Perseverance 5, 3rd Year of Factol Ylem's reign
While the first, second, and third steps of my task are complete, I must downgrade my chance of overall success to 82%, as peculiarities have occurred during the execution of such. The violators, as far as I could tell, consisted of fifty-seven trained mercenaries of various mortal races, three of which were wizards, 20 keepers, ten giff, two lakshu, and one mercane. On a side note, the communal records say that this mercane was a fugitive of three investigations headed by Kolyarut justicars; I will forward the information to them shortly.
The confrontation resulted in one of the Zelekhut being deactivated, and another damaged. Nonetheless, the violators have been disciplined accordingly. Stolen goods recovered included three reinforced metal chests, three locked strongboxes, four magically enhanced metal chests, 24 sealed books, 47 scroll tubes, and 57 individual scrolls. All of these items radiate magic of various known schools and elemental magic and seem to range from low to intermediate power. As per my directives regarding stolen goods, there was no inquiry of the contents of the containers. Papers confiscated from the thieves claim that there were planning to fence the stolen goods in the Gate-Town of Plague-Mort.
I have reason to believe these papers were forged as a deliberate ruse, as keepers rarely commit such acts with monetary profit as a goal. Although, more than five of them cooperating for one endeavor is even rarer. The Kolyarut attempted to interrogate them, but could not prevent the discoporation ability that Keepers are known to use in such circumstances.
A quandary for another time. As a precaution, I have sent a modron squad to rendezvous with the remaining Platonics as they attempt to return the stolen goods.
Serenity 10, 3rd Year of Factol Ylem's reign
The Kolyarut's report seems disconcerting. When it and its entourage rached the front gates of the Grand Library, the adamantine golem sentries denied them entry. Then, a representative stepped forward, a frost giant wearing priestly vestments, who identified herself as Milly Niles, Jarl Hexer of Mt. Somee.
Eden broke off here. The name "Somee" was familiar, and there was indeed a place with the name near the Grand Library of Thoth, but it wasn't a mountain, it was a lake.
Then she remembered vaguely reading of a reference to some sort of cataclysm occuring there before the Battle of Pesh, but that was so long ago, meaning the original draft of this journal must have been written before -
The revelation both terrified and thrilled her. She continued to read.
Claiming to be a Proxy of Thoth, she produced a missive, claiming it was from Thoth himself. The missive expressed gratitude for the recovery of the goods, but claimed that, for reasons he could not explain, such goods could not be allowed to return to the Great Library. The missive also stated to do with them as we saw fit.
While the signature seemed authentic, it seems odd that Thoth would make such an odd demand. However, after discerning only a 2% chance of a positive outcome - at best - if an altercation had occured between them and the adamantine golem sentires, the Kolyhut declined to argue. It is now on its way back to Rigilus with the goods.
I am at a quandry. I doubt I could improve the odds by more than 5% with my current resources, but even if I could improve them more, I am bound by my directives as a Varakhut to abide by the will of divine beings. If there is any chance at all that the missive is authentic, I must heed it for now. However, I am uncertain how to proceed once we have gained possession of the recovered goods.
I will send an inquiry to Mechanus requesting information on the best course of action in this endeavor.
"There!" exclaimed Karl.
Eden stopped reading and closed the book, using her thumb as a makeshift bookmark. She stood up as a strange gateway started to open on one side of the room. A recognizable odor filled the room, like…
"Spring…" said Sofia.
All of them could remember the sweet smell from their childhoods. Like pine needles after a light rain, freshly cut grass, and blooming flowers, it was something they all remembered. And missed.
All except Eden, who'd had no "childhood" to speak of. She recognized the smell, though. It was one of many pinings she'd had over her long life.
Still, she knew something she wanted was behind that portal. A truth she had searched centuries for. And while not as long lived as the guatierre, the three members of the Determined felt it too. The goal was so close, they could taste it.
"So what are we waiting for?" asked Prospero.
"Douglas and I will catch up," said Karl. "I think I might be able to clean up the mess this thing made from here." He nodded towards the Device as he said it and started to type again.
"Then we can," started Philip. "HEY, wait up!"
Eden tucked the book under her arm and dashed through the portal ahead of them. She didn't care if an army of Platonics were waiting for her now. Her goal was in sight.
Destiny waits!
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FIVE HOURS AGO:
"Do us all a favor, Yuri, the next time you get a good idea, keep it to yourself."
Yuri was far less upset at Kei's attitude than the fact that, for once, she was right. She had felt she could convince a judge at their bail hearing far better than any court-appointed lawyer that the two of them were not a flight risk. And she'd had a point; where would they go?
Of course, being granted bail was much, much different than actually paying it. As far as this world went, the two were broke.
And it got worse. Inmates considered low risk were the ones "allowed" to take work detail outside the prison, usually done in the quarries about a half-mile away. A lot of the other inmates there were quick to inform Yuri of that particular judge's sense of humor.
The two Lovely Angels were hardly used to a job comparable to pack mules, let-alone having to do it shackled and wearing institutional apparel. It was not only backbreaking, tiring work, it was humiliating. That same court appointed lawyer had told them to get used to it, as she doubted the judge would be lenient at the actual trial.
"Well, it could be worse," she grumbled.
"What do you mean worse?" whined Kei.
"They could give you KP duty," she replied. "THAT would be 'cruel and unusual' punishment. For everyone else."
"Keep smiling like that," said Kei.
"HEY!" barked the security guard behind them. They froze. "We're not paying you girls twelve pence an hour to yell at each other, so get busy!"
"I swear, if we ever get out of this," grumbled Kei to her partner.
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Jemorille: It was finally within reach. Philip had been pursuing it for years, the rest of the Determined doing so much longer. Eden had sought this place for all her life, having traveled the cosmos for centuries before even learning that it was her goal.
It was a sacred temple that they now believed hid a treasure of such value, all the precious metals in that vault would be considered pocket change by comparison.
It held Truth. A concept that, if used improperly, was as dangerous as lies.
Antisthenes knew this, its single-minded pursuit of Law in all forms leading to his desire to wreck the veil itself, opening mortals' eyes to the truths of Shadow. It had spent as much time as Eden towards its goal, spreading lies of its own, until mortals doubted what they perceived as reality and focused their eyes towards the unknowing dark. Bit by bit, they strained to see through the darkness. The Veil was weakening.
Now, with its mind clearly malfunctioning beyond repair, its directives driving it to madness, it sought to manipulate Truth itself and force the new reality on shock and fear that billions would experience upon having such a revelation thrust upon them mattered little.
His attempts to achieve Perfection of Law would only create Chaos.
Eden led the charge through the portal, to a part that Philip's map called Memory Lane, but would soon find herself confronted by an old face with goals of her own.
"Wannabe" is coming soon.
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Now for that card I missed:
Frightfur Burger (Fusion Effect Monster)
Fiend/Earth/Lvl6/2,000ATK/1,300DEF
1 "Fluffal" monster + 1 "Edge Imp" monster
Effect: Once per turn, you may send select 1 "Frightfur" Fusion monster in your Extra Deck and send it to the GY; until the Standby Phase of your next turn, the name, ATK, DEF, and Effects of this card become that of the discarded monster.