RPGs, Autism and Poetry: Poems of a Player's Experience

by winowa-san

RPG games such as D&D, Pathfinder and now Starfinder can lead to some pretty wild and wacky adventures. I have as both a player and DM/GM experienced plenty of mishaps, awesome circumstances of chance, as well as the fair share of occasional player nonsense. These are some of what I consider to be the most memorable moments that have occurred; now in poetic verse.

6. Animal Bribes

I do not own D&D, Pathfinder or Starfinder.

Animal Bribes

Animal friendship, no need

Speak with animals is the only creed

Need to search in frigate freight

Bribe the rats to search the crate

Rude noble draw your wrath

Rats can scare them off the path

Scout for danger big and small

Birds and squirrels can search it all

Very useful is this spell

If your druid does it well

A favorite trick of mine is to bribe whatever animals are around into doing things for me. whether bribing Squirrels, rats and Birds to scout crates and enemy bases, bribing rats to scare Jerk-hole nobles out of inns, or wolves to aid in raiding an enemy camp; believe me this is a trick that really doesn't get old.