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Authors Note: Guess who's a bad author? Bring out the spray bottles because it's me. Oh geez 8 months - Would've been longer if not for Reggie S 42. He/She reviewed such a great review and we got to talking and I was like "damn. I need a new chapter." So here you guys go!
Also, this story is set BEFORE the time warp and the most recent arc (the one in dress Rosa). I don't know all of Doflamingos character or background and I don't want to wait for it to appear.
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Days passed and Sanjii had not seen Zoro since the incident. His hands had turned crispy and every ounce of flesh had sizzled off of his hands. At first, Sanjii was consumed with rage and anger. Zoro had purposely injured him, ruined his most prized possession, and spoke out against his dreams. It was everything that betrayal encompassed. Yet, there was no anger. His first concern was to bandage his hands- he did it by himself without Chopper. He didn't want to bring the fragile furry boy into this mess. How could he explain that Zoro did this? That his melted hands with scorched bones were the product of the man Chopper so admired?
The crew was slowly beginning to fall apart around Zoro, and Sanjii could see it. He loved his crew and though he would never admit it, he held great respect for Zoro. He was determined, he was strong, he was responsible- he was not this. He was not the kind of man to throw another mans hand into boiling water. That was not him.
And so, he could not lash out. Something was eating at Zoro; something dark and awful was corrupting him. But Sanjii knew that no matter what he tried Zoro would remain closed to him. So for the sake of saving what was left of the crew, he remained muted about his boiled hands.
Sanjii gritted his teeth and wrapped his hands and kept them wrapped for days. Surely, the rest of the crew noticed.
Luffy made subtly eye contact with the bandages in the middle of one of his ravaging feasts. Sanjii tried to hide it from the captain, but the moment Luffy saw the bandages his brain began to click together pieces. Almost immediately Luffys face sunk down when he realized Sanjii's hands were burnt because of Zoro. There was no way Sanjii would let his hands get burned like that. He paused, face deep into a piece of roasted meat, and his feelings were consumed by sadness and disappointment in himself. He could see his crew falling apart and not even a jesting eating competition from Usopp could lift his spirits.
Nami and Robin noticed the wrappings, as women always tend to do- They notice everything. Nami was ready to give hell to Zoro and all she wanted was to scream and hit him, to cry and ask him why, to kick him in the balls and then stab him through the heart. She wanted him to suffer, but more than that she wanted to understand. And the moment she saw Sanjii's battered bandages, she was ready to lunge out into the crows nest and she would have if Robin hadn't, quite literally, held her back. She felt Namis frustration at the unknown, but calmed her down with words that it was not her business. Nami shot back a response about this being the crews business and hence it was also hers. But Robin shook her head, stating that if Sanjii wanted to handle it he would. So instead, the women flocked around Sanjii, providing a well needed distraction for the conflicted chef.
Choppers doctor senses immediately tingled the moment he saw bandages. Nobody ever patched their own wounds when there was a doctor like Chopper on board, so it reeked of suspicion. Chopper debated confronting Sanjii about the bandages. He was so concerned for the chef's health and he had his own curiosity as to what happened, even though his gut had a dark feeling about it. He stopped Sanjii one night and asked him, but Sanjii just shook his head and his blonde hair dropped over both of his eyes. Chopper knew enough to not to push the man for answers.
And then there was Zoro. He avoided the kitchen at all costs and it had been days since he had eaten. But he didn't feel hungry. No, it was worse than that – he didn't feel anything.
There was no guilt.
He felt no regret.
Zoro knew no shame.
He shoved his best friend's hands into a pit of boiling water, and he felt nothing. Zoro knew he should feel bad. He should feel awful. He should feel disgusting and disgraceful. But there were none of those feelings.
It should bother me Zoro thought at he pressed his fingers into his forehead. But it doesn't. He mocked my dream, it feels like… justice. Justice for all the stupid things that cook has ever said and all of those stupid comments he makes towards me. I… don't even feel bad.
Maybe it was worse this way. He knew he had done something wrong, something horrible. And he couldn't feel bad about it. There's something wrong with me…
Days passed on the crew with an eerie silence. Every move felt so fake, so stressed, and so precious. The ship sailed smoothly across the sea, gently adding to the silence of the crew until a loud booming -
"LAND HOOOOOOOOO!"
The exclamation broke through the silence, causing Zoro to nearly flinch and fall out of the crows nest. He turned his head to the side with an audible creak. He'd been sleeping a lot lately due to the boredom and the silence of the ship. Land… At least now there can be some excitement Zoro thought, rubbing his eyes lightly, or maybe there just will be more pointless "adventures" he mentally scorned.
He leapt down from the nest, landing amongst the exhausted crew.
"Where are we at?" Zoro asked, looking at Nami. She held her eyes downcast, refusing to meet his green ones.
"It's just a small island that we can restock supplies on." She responded, not wanting to bore the rest of the crew with names of a useless island.
Luffy let out a familiar pout. "Aw… So it's a boring island?"
"Not boring Luffy, just a normal island." Robin chimed in.
"I don't want normal! I want an adventure!" Luffy whined with his lips stuck on a full blown pout.
No, you want to waste your time on doing pointless things for pointless people Zoro mentally chided. That's not an adventure.
Luffy continued to complain about the awful nature of the thing called "normal" and Zoro eventually tuned it out. The words drabbled on quietly in the back of his mind as he surveyed the crew that he hadn't seen in several days.
They all looked exhausted. Dark bags consumed their under eyes and sunk their face into their skull. Robin walked with a cane and was still hugged tightly by crisp bandages. Nami continued to stare down at the ground and Chopper was reflecting that same behavior. And then there was Sanjii.
Zoro looked at him last and part of him was scared to see the chef. His green eyes looked up and met the single eye of the cook. He was the first crewmate to look back at Zoro.
Zoro squinted, trying to figure out why the cook was staring at him. There was no anger, no hatred, no spite in that cooks eye. All Zoro saw was concern. It was a soft haze over Sanjii's eye that was kind.
It unnerved Zoro. Pity Zoro thought disgustingly, ignoring the concern that was laced behind Sanjii's look. Don't you give me that look. Don't you pity me.
"But I want to go explore the Island!" Luffy shouted, breaking Zoro's eye contact with Sanjii.
"I'll go with him." Sanjii said, noticing Nami's resentment to letting Luffy go find trouble. Somebody had to hold the youth back from danger and "adventure".
"Yes!" Luffy shouted, acting extra perky to attempt to raise his crew's low spirit. "Let's go!"
"OH no! You are not flinging me across the water." Sanjii backed up from his captain. 'I'll meet you at the island; I'll take the boat like a civil person."
"That's so boring!" Luffy cried out. He didn't wait for a response as his rubber arms crept up the ships post and he twisted slightly. With a large push Luffy was off, sailing through the air with a gleeful cry.
Sanjii just sighed, pranced over to his women and kissed their hands with a soft parting goodbye. He turned around near the dingy, catching Zoro's eye right then. There was something sickly intense about them. They felt cold and heartless. There was no desire, no dreams, and no friendship, nothing good in those eyes. It felt so wrong to look at them. With a stiff nod Sanjii descended into the dingy and began to paddle in the direction that Luffy flew.
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With Sanjii and Luffy departed, the deck of the ship became the definition of an awkward silence. Nami and Robin fiddled uncomfortably in Zoro's presence and he knew it. He could sense their discomfort.
They don't trust me Zoro thought Maybe that's best.
His mind flashed back to the sick feeling of joy he felt when his sword carved a lining into Robin's chest. It made perfect sense why she feared him and why Nami hated him so much.
Zoro let out a stretching yawn and out of the corner of his eye he saw Chopper flinch at the harmless act.
This is ridiculous. Zoro thought. He felt so constricted. Can't train, can't talk, and can't do anything without striking fear into his "friends."
He shook his mossy head. "I'm going for a walk."
"A walk?" Nami asked. Where on Earth is he going to walk? The ships not that big…
"On the island. Maybe a swim in the ocean. I'm just going to stretch my legs." Zoro responded.
Nami hesitated for a moment. He's going on the island? Where Luffy and Sanjii are going? Is… Is he going to hurt them? Is he going to kill them? Were Sanjii's hands not enough?
Awful questions ran through her mind and she tried to bring herself back. She tried to remind herself that this was Zoro, not some common murderer or betrayer. It was Zoro… so why was she so afraid to let him go?
Zoro noted the silence after he spoke and it was really beginning to drag on him. So much doubt and suspicion was directed towards it and made him nauseas. He didn't even wait for an answer from the women and Chopper. He rested his hand against the edge of the ship, took a large break, and clasped his hands together and dove into the icy sea water.
Nami initially gasped as she watched Zoro plunged gracefully into the water. She was terrified. Of him. Of his empty eyes, of his heartless acts, of who he was becoming. She didn't know what he would do anymore – and that was what scared her the most.
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The waters icy grip stung every cell in Zoro's body. It was sharp, crushing cold suffocation. And it was perfect. In that pain and rush of adrenaline, Zoro felt at peace. His body felt numb and his mind followed suite.
That sweet numbing ended too soon for Zoro as he reached the shore. He turned around and could make out the silhouette of the ship. It seemed so far away and a pit in his stomach formed at the idea of going back there. He didn't feel shame or like a betrayer. But that was how they saw him. He was nothing more than a man who harmed two of the crewmates and deep down he felt they would never grow to look past that.
He shook the thoughts off, begging to bring back the numbness. He didn't want to think and deal with the stress that suddenly was encompassing his life.
So he wandered. Technically, if you asked him, he would have told you he was headed in a specific direction. But he would turn left, then right, and suddenly his sense of direction was shot to hell and walking became wandering between the shoreline and treeline.
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"Ah. Hello Zoro."
Zoro froze. His legs locked and his arms shot down to his sides and his fingers latched around the hilt. He hadn't been walking for long before he heard a voice call out to him.
"Oh, no need for those weapons."
That voice. It was sweet with a flamboyant edge.
"I just came to talk to you. I'm glad you came alone."
Zoro's heartbeat shot up and he could hear the blood pumping through his own body. It was Doflamingo.
Slowly, Zoro turned around and was met with a tall man in a ruffled pink boa. He was leaning back against a tree, arms folded across a typical dress shirt and a crazy smile to match his striking eyes that were masked by a pair of sunglasses.
"What do you want?" Zoro said roughly. His eyes locked onto a glint in Doflamingos enlarged classes.
"Heh, isn't that obvious?"
Zoro didn't hold a moment of hesitation, "No."
Doflamingo let out a quick cackle. "Not one for long winded answers are ya?"
Zoro didn't respond, just continued to gaze at Doflamingo with a blank expression. I should be furious. I shouldn't be talking to him. He's the whole reason I'm in this stupid mess. If it wasn't for him and his stupid crew I wouldn't have hurt Robin, I wouldn't be feeling this way, and all this shit wouldn't have happened. I should cut him down where he stands. But he didn't. Something held him back. Something inside of him wanted to talk.
"Very well then." Doflamingo brushed a lock of hair from his face. "I want you to join my crew."
Zoro was forced to blink several times to even begin to process the words. He… wants me… to join his crew…
There was a moment of drawn out hesitation before Zoro stuttered out a "What?'
"I've seen your power and I value that immensely, especially since you don't posses a devil fruit. Your power is your own and I admire that. I need a man like you on my crew."
"You tried to kill me less than a week ago." Zoro retaliated harshly. He still remembered the feeling of death that nearly consumed him. He felt the cold arms of the grave as blood drenched from his body. He felt the crumpling weakness of defeat at the hands of one of his men.
He also felt the tidal wave of power that suddenly overwhelmed him. He remembered the blood lust, the anger, the power when he crushed Dalburn. It was the sweetest strength he had ever tasted.
"If I wanted to kill you, you would be dead." Doflamingo said in a moment of seriousness. "But I didn't. I knew you take him… you just needed a little push."
"I should kill you right now."
Doflamingo shook off the threat and continued on "I gave you a push your so called friends can never give you."
Zoro stood struck for a moment, waiting for his rage to boil to the surface. But he found no anger inside of himself. Doflamingo insulted his friends, yet he felt nothing- nothing for it. If anything, it made sense.
"You don't know anything…" Was all Zoro could mumble out. It was a pathetic comeback and Zoro knew it.
"I know you deserve better than that comical and truly laughable crew you tag along with. I know you have passion and drive for things other than pointless adventures. I know you know they are holding you back."
Zoro swallowed hard. It was like Doflamingo could see his thoughts. Zoro hadn't stopped thinking about the sudden rush of power and invincibility that followed his near –death experience. Initially, he blocked it out for harming Robin. But eventually that harm lost all guilt and the power crept into his mind. He should have been dead but he had more to him than that and it was the first time he ever saw his real power.
"I also know that you belong with my crew."
Zoro's eyes flickered to the ground. Doflamingo was focused, he had connections, and he could make Zoro's dreams come true. Zoro felt he could grow stronger with a man with focus leading him. And not a monkey running around pointing at everything adventurous and shiny.
But this would be the ultimate betrayal. This was the ultimate stabbing of Luffy in the back. He could cut Robin, he could burn Sanjii, but he couldn't do that. He wanted to but he couldn't. That would destroy Luffy and despite the naivety of his captain, Zoro owed Luffy a lot and couldn't just turn his back on Luffy. He promised he would be Luffy's first mate and what man would he be if didn't keep his word.
"I… already have a crew." Zoro muttered. It came out devoid of any confidence and it did nothing to ease Zoro's conflict.
"And they have let you down. They are failures. They are men who prance around in a Speedo and another that is a god damn perverted skeleton. This is not what you want."
Every word seemed to sting with an ounce of truth to Zoro. He had often questioned Luffys introduction of crew members and the paths that they took. They were a distracted crew that was barely held together.
"No, not the crew I want, but it's the crew I have." He didn't believe a word out of his own mouth. But he needed to defend the crew. If he didn't, there would be no way he could ever face them again. Everything would be lost then if he admitted how much he agreed with Doflamingo.
"Why…" Doflamingos smile dropped. "Why do you defend them?"
If only I could say how badly I want to say yes… A real crew, real power, a real leader. Zoro thought briefly of Sanjii and wondered if he would be disappointed or angry. He wondered if Chopper would cry. He wondered how many fake threats Nami would issue. He wondered how often Luffy would blame himself. He may have hated parts of his crew, but he couldn't help but wonder what they truly thought of him. If they were even worth defending.
But I promised Luffy. Zoro thought. It was the only string he could hold onto the crew by. It was a string he had sewn himself and it was his word. A man is nothing without that and he would hold onto it forever. No matter what the crew did, he swore his loyalty.
That day when Luffy saved him from his own brand of honor and stupidity he swore to be on Luffys crew. That promise suddenly felt like the weight of the world.
"I promised Luffy." Zoro breathed a deep sigh. He was not defending his crew. He was defending his own word. "I gave him my word and my loyalty, no matter how wrong of a captain he is."
Doflamingo nodded slightly. "I guess I have no real choice but to respect that. Your loyalty to your own word is something great."
Zoro noticed he had shifted his hand off of his sword hilt. He was no longer tense. He felt that numbness again that he had craved. He was thinking, but Doflamingo had orchestrated his thoughts for him. The cold, clasping numbness swept over his brain with a comfort. He was oddly comfortable in the presence of the maniac warlord.
"Allow me one more thought." Doflamingo said. "You have no real desire for either the high seas or pirates."
Zoro cocked his eyebrow, "No. I don't. If you're so interested in me you know I want to be the greatest swordsman, that's all."
"So you want power and strength." Doflamingo responded.
Zoro nodded. "What of it?"
"Do you realize your dreams do not mix with that of your crews?"
That idea hit Zoro like a gushing force. His eyes darted around and his thoughts bounded inside of his head, trying to fully grasp the point Doflamingo was making.
"Your captain wants to be the Pirate King. Your Chef wants to find an ocean. Your navigator wants to draw the world. I could go on but I think you see what I mean." Doflamingo cooed. "None of them want power, none of them want strength. You were a bounty hunter turned pirate. Your dreams were never shared by them, that was never who you were. And the very goals of their dreams have nothing to do with yours. Yours will never matter, never be seen as anything but selfish. Your dream-
"Shut up!" Zoro exclaimed. "God Damnit just shut up!"
He couldn't stand to hear it anymore. He gave up being a bounty hunter in hopes this pirate path would lead him closer. And now Doflamingo was illustrating new thoughts into his already crammed head. He just couldn't take it.
Zoro looked up, chest heaving in frustration. "I will not join your crew. I am a man of my word and I gave that word to Luffy."
Doflamingo just nodded slowly.
"Leave, before I unsheathe and end your nonsense." Zoro threatened with an empty look in his eye.
"Now, now boy, I think we both know it's not nonsense. You may keep your word to your ridiculous captain for now. But know, you belong on my crew and you will admit it to yourself soon enough." Doflamingo whispered.
In a flash, Doflamingo was gone, leaving a swordsman with white knuckles clasping with uncertainty and despair at the frame of his swords.
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Authors Note: Review please! This chapter wouldn't have come out for another 2 months probably if it weren't for the reviews. They're the only things that kick me up off my butt and update!
I just hope Zoro didn't come off as too dark and moody in this chapter. Obviously I'm setting him up as a darker character and need to make it still cannon.