Slight M rating here- its not completely, but its hinted-

I dont own ANYTHING teenage mutant ninja turtles as sad as I am about that!

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Bonnie POV

The movie was good, but fuck did I jump. Every few minutes as Raph stayed frozen beside me. He watched with a forgotten look, almost like he was thinking about someone or something else. And soon the movie was forgotten too as the credits rolled by.

I sighed knowing he was going to leave. I really didn't want him too.

He got up like always and I followed him to the window. He didn't say much- usually he would be bragging about something or raging about me making him watch something boring.

Maybe the movie did frighten him and he was just trying to stay heroic. I giggled as he turned to look at me with a raised eyebrow. I smiled a small smile; glad the other expression he had was gone.

"So…will I see you in the rest of the week?" I asked hopefully. He took a breath for a minute and looked at my face. He seemed to observe my features smoothly, his eyes flittering around my gaze gently.

"Dunno…I need to see"

"Oh Okay- no biggie, if you're busy" I shrugged it off, but the disappointment inside felt like warming lava.

"You gonna be a'right?" he asked as I displayed my best 'are you kidding?' look. I pushed out one forced laugh.

"Course! I managed without you before…independently and everything! I can cope without you for a couple of days" I gloated with a giggle. He shook his head and tore into a soft smirk.

"Yeah before ya lived in New York" he spoke with a mocking tone to the end of his voice. I playfully pushed at him with my hand; he didn't even move an inch. He chuckled at my attempt and heat broke through my body, like his smile was sunshine.

I crossed my arms to try and conceal the thudding inside.

"Hey! I can manage just fine no matter what length of time period you're away" I told him bravely. He chuckled and turned to leave one foot crossing my balcony as he ducked down to exit. I bit my lip, needing to say something else- anything else before he disappeared.

"Raph?" I called moving forward. He turned his body as I moved forward- nearly bumping into his chest as I steadied my self. Crouched down like this he was eye level with me, and his face features were so detailed up close.

I stayed quiet for a few seconds, just drinking him in as he did the same. His face changed again, softer, confused but then…hopeful…

At least, I thought it was that…

My hand reached out to touch his shoulder, the other crossed tightly to my chest as the cold night air drifted across us.

My fingers found the muscles at the top of his shoulder as I drifted my hand down his arm slowly, not really going any further than his bicep. I could feel underneath it the scarring of his arm brand; some sort of Chinese or Japanese crested mark there that matched the one on his bandana. His eyes moved to watch my hand then fell back capturing my gaze.

"Whether Casey put you up to this or not, I'm really glad you fell into my life and stayed" my heart echoed through the words lovingly as I caressed the top of his shoulder.

"Truth is…I wouldn't live anywhere else now…" I smiled bashfully blush coating my cheeks honestly.

His eyes steadied out as they stared back into mine. We stayed quiet for a minute just letting what I said settle. I half expected him to laugh and tell me to fuck off in his jokey way.

But he didn't.

He just looked at me warmly; again like I was the most precious thing in the world.

I could feel the blush burning at my cheeks.

"Case never put me up to it doll- Its always bin jus' me…an even though I can't really go anywhere…you know…like dis…I wouldn't-not now anyway…" he shrugged gently as his warm eyes began unravelling me again. For the first time since we met, I believed him.

And his words meant more to me than he could ever know.

I choose to be here…I choose to be near you…

"Night Raph" I whispered to him knowing he needed to go, I retracted my hand slowly, wishing he could stay, but I bit my tongue.

I knew I would ask and I knew he would freak.

He sighed at me looking like he was in a dream as he turned and in a flash, he was gone.

And I stood alone in my little apartment, missing him with each parting second.

I didn't exactly know what this was, but it was growing.

And I didn't exactly want to stop it either.

I swallowed and mulled over the idea as I began tidying up around my living room collecting our glasses and things...

There was a heavy part of me that wanted to explore this, wanted to grasp this new curious thing between us. He was always so careful with me and caring; a trait which I thought he would never have…but it was so prominent. He wore his heart on his sleeve constantly and it was something I was growing to love.

I froze as my hand tightened around the glass.

Love?

I scrambled back into my kitchen and shoved everything in the sink.

Was I? had I not even noticed my feelings all this time?

Was I beginning to fall in love with this turtle man?

I swallowed as I thought back to him this evening…

The way he touched me so caringly, the softness of his voice as he spilled out the close information about his brothers…

The way his fingers played on my skin.

My hands instantly flew up to touch where he had been. Flashing images of him there came spiralling back…

How careful his hands were, how gentle and secure they made me feel…

Then the dark thoughts about wanting for him to do more came flying back too.

I imagined him continuing his massage, his hands just tipping over the front of my body, teasing at the top of my breasts until his fingers were over... I would gasp at the feel of them being there, touching my body in this new way until they would slip under my t-shirt and down into my bra…

I flung my head back up from its dreaming position and blinked wide.

I needed to sleep; that was all- just sleep and this would go away.

I couldn't ruin my friendship with him, not when he was all I had- not that he would even want me anyway. Did turtle men even like human women in that way?

But I knew I wanted him. I could feel the want burning desirably in my pants as I marched down the hall, ripping off my day clothes and dived into bed.

Sleep.

Yes. That's all I needed.

A good amount of sleep.

And try my best to ignore the buzzing desire that filled me as I gritted my teeth and slammed my eyes shut….

"Raph…" I called for him, his hands on me moving all over my body as his fingers slipped down me over my shoulders going lower…

His breathy mouth kissed my naked back as his fingers splayed over my breasts caressing in a way I didn't know they could…

I was sat in his lap his hands wandering all over me as I arched and moved with him. His warm body tighter and sleeker against mine as he growled and grumbled beneath me.

Shamelessly, I called for him as my body dove into more pleasure at his touches over my bare skin.

He kissed my shoulders and then into my neck as I gasped out desperately for him…

"Raph! Urgh!" I felt my insides tighten as my body splashed with pleasure, growing and growing until-

Then there was a crash somewhere that made me sit bolt up in my bed.

My eyes flickered round the room as I panicked; my heart going a thousand miles an hour. Breaths tumbled out of me as I jumped out of my bed and stared out of my window.

It had sounded so close and near.

Then a distant noise made me aware of the dumpster below my window as something pounded on it once and a cat squealed out a loud hiss.

I breathed out a breath of relief and shook my head feeling silly as I laughed a little to myself. Once my heart rate had settled down, I turned and looked back at my bed.

And my dream spun back round at me.

I leant against my wall.

Confusion and so many feelings scattered through me. My body still on fire from invisible fantasised touches.

I swallowed deeply.

I was so screwed.

Raph's POV

I lingered around her apartment a little longer than usual. I figured since I had been on time for patrol every day in this last month, I could get away with being late to one session.

I paced up and down for a long time, my eyes not really focusing on anything in particular as I turned in the dark and swallowed for the sixteenth time.

I had left her an hour and a half ago…but hadn't really left her apartment building. I huffed as I stood at the edge of the building looking down longingly to her little balcony.

I just wanted to go back down there for a few minutes…just a few more minutes with her.

Her hands replayed through my head; the gentle touches she left on me scorned at my skin leaving it tingling with pins and needles.

I sighed and ran a hand down my head. I was in deep, but I couldn't leave her alone. I wasn't giving up my time with her for anything or anyone.

I swallowed, knowing this would only end badly; she would get a boyfriend and then I would be forgotten.

Its what would be best for her.

Or my brothers would find out and ruin everything for me.

Until then, I could think about her right? Maybe smell her a little more…or touch her like I had done…

My head fell hot at the idea of touching her again.

I loved touching her, I loved smelling her, I loved the fact she sat even closer to me after it…

I shook my head and turned again pacing a little more, trying to rid my self of the ideas or thoughts…

And then a sound stopped me from my thoughts.

It was long and breathy- coming from the window to the right…

Bonnie's bedroom.

I jumped down immediately, worried she had hurt herself or fallen.

I moved just as stealthily as I normally would, finding it a lot harder considering there was no balcony here, just the tight lining of the concrete ledge as I moved around.

I crouched in front of the small narrow window as I stared in with a smirk ready to see the beautiful klutz. Her window was slightly open, letting her curtains blow gently in the breeze.

I looked into the dark room as another breathy sound hit my ears.

This time I froze. My insides burst with icicles of spasms that shook me.

It was a moan. A long hummed moan.

She was in bed; Only a t-shirt on her and in black panties that really showed off the colour of her tanned skin.

My eyes bugged out as I eyed her. She was sleeping, breathing deeply.

Another moan came from her as her body twisted and she mumbled something I couldn't hear under her breath. She laid still for another minutes as I watched her unsure if she was awake or not.

But her body flipped over again, moving slowly and gently. She was laying flat on her back, her long thick legs winding in the sheets gently as her toes curled.

Another long breath as her hands lay lazily over her body.

I smiled to myself in a deep sigh- she was even beautiful when sleeping.

Her chest rose and fell heavily. And then in her dream state she rolled back onto her stomach, her head facing the window towards me. Then her body lifted in the middle; and her panties lifted too- her ass big and perky and round. I licked my lips. Her body moved again, rolling grinding into the sheets below as she moaned again and sighed.

I could feel the blood draining from my face and head down heavily to my tail.

The t-shirt she wore ridden up as her hands grabbed at her breast clutching for it as she rolled again. Her head fell back a little, her loose curls shaking down as she moved again against the bed.

Another moan fell out of her open beautiful mouth; her eyes were shut gently only squeezing together in pleasure.

My whole body hammered.

She was grinding and…

She was-

My tail had never curled so fast or so tight as I felt myself emerging. My eyes drew her in greedily as I convulsed in a wave of pleasure I didn't know I could feel from just watching.

I had seen porn. I had felt women, but this-

Woah.

My frozen limbs suddenly were extremely heavy as her moans drifted over me with an intensity I didn't even know could exist.

I didn't blink- I couldn't blink.

My heart leapt into my mouth as my tongue beat out my pulse.

She rolled again; her moan higher this time as she tilted her body towards me, flipping back around to display her gorgeous body my way.

I was totally hooked. Stuck there on full display, literally all of me out and on show as I watched her with a drunken dizziness I had never experienced.

She was warm and soft laying there. Her soft belly moved and stretched as she grinded her hips into the mattress below. Her breasts; her fucking wonderful breasts heaved, causing them to bounce a little wore underneath her low cut white see-through t-shirt.

I licked my top lip again and bit down hard.

How I had dreamed, imagined, fantasied, fuck, everything.

I wanted everything.

Suddenly, my own conscience kicked in, shocking me as I looked away down to the road below.

What the fuck was I doing?

Watching her like that? She was dreaming; the whole thing was wrong! How would I even look at her again?

With a deep breath my body began to unlock as I realised I was being a real stalker this time.

A real creep.

And then she made a noise that I was not expecting to fall from her lips ever in my lifetime.

Her moans increased dramatically, her body still moving so sensually until they were whimpers and all too soon a word spilled out from her lips; loud, sure and scraping into a deep high pitched moan.

"RAPH! Urgh!"

My name.

Mine.

Her breathes seemed to slow and level out as she took a deep breath heavily and rolled over lazily, exhausted.

She had touched her self,

grinded her self in pleasure…

Maybe in a lazy dream way but she had…

And said my name...

She had said-

BAM.

Blackness reached me. My body fell back as my eyes rolled into my head and the air around me pushed me further to the ground below…

I woke with a jab to my shoulder.

"What the hell are you doing out here?!" It was Leo. And he was pissed.

All three of them stood around me as I lifted my head to look at them, feeling drunk and unsure. Weird considering, I hadn't had anything to drink…

"Huh?" I groaned looking at where I was.

Some how, by some miracle, I had landed in a dumpster just above Bonnie's window- my eyes flicked around my surroundings.

"What?" I asked feeling a sense of dizziness overcome me.

I stretched and hissed; feeling a sharp pain in my back.

"Raphael!" Leo barked at me.

"RAPH! Urgh!"

my name…

And then it hit me as hard as a baseball bat.

Fuck…

"FUCK!" I scrambled out of the dumpster and fell back against the wall in shock; my heart hammered.

I had seen Bonnie…

Oh fuck-

Oh fuck…

I didn't know how to deal with this.

But I knew I didn't need to hear Leo say my name like that anymore.

I paled.

My tail seemed to fly away from me at his voice shrivelling back away from any attraction left in my mind.

Leo's eyes changed from anger to confusion as he took me in.

"Raph…what's up?" he asked watching me as my head span.

"I…fell…" I mumbled rubbing my head. At least that was honest.

Leo looked to Donnie who moved closer to me; he eyed the back of my shell.

"Damn Raph, you hit your shell- how did you fall? You're great with direction"

"felt dizzy..." I mumbled as my eyes looked down to the floor spacing out again.

"Maybe we should get you home" Leo said worried as he nodded to Don and Mike as they both eyed me nervously, but helped to steady me as I walked. I didn't talk to them, I physically couldn't.

I was way too busy thinking about her…

We reached the lair as Donnie started to patch my shell up where I had cracked it. I hissed at him as he hushed me.

I rubbed my head, and by doing this- I think my common sense kicked in.

Of course it wasn't gonna be me she was thinking about.

Maybe it was some other guy; maybe she hadn't said my name. I mean, what other names could Raph be short for?

It could have been anyone…

Anyone else who shared my name…

Who she was thinking about as soon as I left…

That was viable; completely viable.

It couldn't have been me…

It couldn't.

I swallowed and took a deep breath looking to the floor of Donnie's lab as he muttered under his breath.

"So ama dying or can I go now?" I grunted out to him sarcastically as he eyed me then Leo who stared hard straight back.

"Leo- can you get me two syringes from the first aid box? - I need new ones" He said as Leo nodded and headed off at a brisk pace.

Don tutted and then shut the door behind me.

I looked up with confused eyes at him.

Something was wrong- something was very wrong.

"Don what's- "

"Save it- I know everything" he said crossing his arms leaning against the small desk.

My eyes opened wide as I slammed my jaw shut.

What?

"I dunno what you're- "

"Oh come on Raph- I took a call from April like three weeks ago- when you were supposed to be out with Casey- he had taken her out for dinner; April wondered if we could go check in on the west side…Bonnie was home alone that night and they hadn't seen her in a couple of days"

I kept still, frozen unable to respond as he watched me like a dad would scold their little kid.

"I told Leo I'd go- didn't want to drop you in it straight away. I reached her apartment just as you were going in…"

my heart thumped as a bead of sweat started to form on my neck.

"And now…here we are today; three weeks later, you're passed out directly below her bedroom window, so I ask Raph; what's going on?!"

I stood up shhing him desperately as my eyes flicked to the door.

"Will you shut up! Leo will hear!" I told him nervously as he rolled his eyes and lifted his hand towards it.

"Leo wont find any syringes in the first aid box. I haven't replenished it yet" he told me calmly as I sat back down begrudgingly.

"So- we have around 5 minutes until Leo gets back from looking, possibly 10 if he goes to check the other box which is at the other end of the sewer, so I ask again- what is going on Raph?"

I sighed.

Damn Donnie. I clicked my tongue and narrowed my eyes towards him.

I thought about denying it for a tenth of a second.

Then my gritted teeth began to move.

"I didn't jus' introduce ma sel... it was an accident! I rescued 'er one night- a few months ago…n, I jus' followed 'er home, but she kept leavin' 'er balcony door open, an' I jus' ment to shut it- to keep 'er safe…" the words rolled out like vomit, almost feeling good to have them out.

"But she seen me, an' well… Case was right she weren't too fussy; screamed once, but it was more like she was yellin' at me; she was more frightened of me being a stranger on her balcony than me bein' a turtle…and- I mean I jus' kept goin' back- she let me…she laughs at my jokes…She drinks whisky n beer with me…she smiles at me…talks to me about stuff…" my eyes tore to the floor picturing her smile as I felt my shoulders drop.

My mind flashed through the past months I had spent with her. I sighed as I remembered her touching me again tonight my hand fell where her hand been on my shoulder- reliving it for like the 1000th time.

"She acts like I'm jus' another guy…doesn't even care about my size or scales or shell…an I jus…I jus…"

I could feel the word bubbling to the surface as I shut my eyes and swallowed it back down.

Donnie knew; how often was I like this anyway?

He walked over slowly and sighed once; it wasn't a disappointed noise; just unsure- new.

"I wont tell Leo- but that doesn't mean this will stay hidden forever Raph- if you feel that way about her- she has a right into our lives as we do into hers" he shrugged.

"Fuck sake Donnie! ain't nothin' gonna happen between us- she's human…an' I wouldn' ever-"

Donnie sighed again; shorter this time, looking up at the ceiling before back at me.

"I'm just saying Raph…if there's a chance" he shrugged looking at me with sad hoping eyes.

I nodded understanding what he was saying.

Don't throw something like that away...

At that moment footsteps echoed down the corridor briskly as I swallowed and sat up eyeing Donnie; he put a green finger to his lips and turned away nonchalantly.

"Donnie; I can't find them anywhere!"

"It's alright Leo- I got what I needed in the end" Donnie walked passed me and patted my shell twice hitting my injured back. I gritted my teeth.

Damn fainting spell.

Review guys!

I really need some positive vibes right now!

Owl x