Chapta Fo – Da F1st Batul
The next day at skool I wuz doin my thang hanging wif my frends in the SOUTH commons wen I saw a big pak of prepz from the NORTH commons walkin right in2 the SOUTH Commmins! All the freakz that hang out in the SOUTH commons immeditately got tense an took out there veryious weppons (everybudi in the SOUTH commons has wepins b/c their all punks and goffs and so on) and I thot theyre wuz going 2 be a BIG OL' BRALL.
"Keep cloze 2 me, Vikrum" Mike Newtown sed quietly as he held on2 his numchucks. "The last tim the prepz came in2 the SOUTH COOMMNS fivty-seven ppl died."
Sudnely I culd c the faces iof the prepz comin from the NORT HCOMMNS. I didn't have ny probelmz with prepz philosoficlly, but frum the moment I saw dere pail white skin and weird eyes and shit I new I had MAJOR BEEF wif dem. They werent' frum the NORTH COMMINS at all! They weren't commin in any way. They were….the CULLINS!1111!111!11!
Each of dem was VERY NOT POSI in there own wai. Obviusly Edwurd wuz relly emo an inly wore BLAK n GREY. Imitt had on six Aburcrombii n Bitch polo shirts wif ALL THE COLLARS pooped. Alicia wore al this native American-style jewelry so she wuz committin major CULTRAL APPROPRPRITATION nd basically looked like she bagned sum1 the mud at Cochella. Rosalie wuz in a SEXY PANTSUIT which was al she ever wur because she was the president of the model UN so she always dressing like a LAWYER. The onther guy was a freaking confederate solder, for god's sake! Also he still had frozen tips. IN 2009!
"We, like, herd, like, you talked, like, 2 carlizzile last nite," Rosally sed in her freakin' valley gurl voice. "U cant let ny1 know our secret, Vikmrum."
Everybudy look at me. I shrugged my shoulders. "I haven't told anybody. If u had just sed nothin nobody would have wondered but now u did so now everybody in the SOUTH COMMONS is wonderin what ur secret is, dummy!"
"We need 2 kill hr, bro!" Imitt sed nd kraked his knukles.
"Wait no!" Edwurd sed. "There's a better salutin!"
But it wuz to no avale. The rest of the Cullins lunged at the punks and they lunged at them! I culdn't believe it, at least fivty-seven people were goin to die b/cuz of me! I began to sob to myself
WHEN SUDDNLYYYY A WINDOW SHATTERED and a bald man jumped into the middul of the charing crowds and began 2 beat them all up! He gave all of the Cullins middle fingurs and they stopped in deir trax. He sed "WHUTTT!" It wuz…. STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN!
"Who r u?" Imit sed. "get out of are beeswax b4" AND THEN HE GOT A STONE COLD STUNNER! "WHUT" AND THEN HE GAVE ONE 2 ROSALLY "WHUT" ABD ALICIIA "WHUT" abd den To the OTHER GUY 2! And then he sed "IF Y'ALL WANNA SEE STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN BEAT EDWURD CULLIN'S PANZY ASS, GIMMIE A HELL YEAH"
Obvi, we al sed "HELL YEAH" but by the time Stone Cold went 2 givw Eduward a Ston Cold Stunna he had run awai. Den Stone Cold sighed and shuk his hed and walked away. I don't know what he wuz doin in rural Washingtown but im sure galdd he wuz there. Then the bell wrang and we went 2 math klass.