The Following Trailer Is Rated NM For No Mercy!
From the nation that created anime, yet remains incapable of adapting it to the big screen, comes the live action adaptation, that like every other live action anime adaptation before it, sucks ass.
Fullmetal Alchemist!
Behold the live action version of Amestris, a European style nation which is now populated exclusively by Asians, because the studio was too cheap and lazy to hire foreign actors who actually look like the characters they are portraying. FYI, they were also too cheap to get good costumes, sets, or child actors, but hey, who cares about little things like quality and self respect?
Meet Japanese Edward Elric, and his brother Alphonse, the one character who looks like he's supposed to, due to not having a human body. Huh, It occurs to me that you might have a problem when a disembodied soul is the most physically accurate member of your entire cast;
But if butchering the cast and costumes aren't enough to satisfy your thirst for destruction, then the pacing certainly will,
Open to the classic tragedy of Ed and Al's childhood, which is given a whole two minutes of screen time before the film Doctor Whos the audience into the Lior Incident right the f##k out of nowhere.
Zip through nine, nine, arcs of the original story in two hours and fifteen minutes. Jump from story to story as you struggle to connect to characters who have no time to develop and evolve, who are either killed off or shoved into the story for other reason than to squeeze out an many ironic FMA moments as possible, in the cinematic equivalent of bird watching while simultaneously driving in the Indy 500.
So suit up for a rushed clodhopper of an adaptation, that is guaranteed to leave longtime FMA fans unfulfilled and disappointed, and leave newcomers confused with no idea what the hell just happened.
Starring:
A Japanese man named Ed- Edward
CGI Sulk- Al
Baby Huey- Gluttony
Crazy Asshole- Tucker
The Master Of Disguise- Envy
Stoned off their asses- The editing team
AND NO… F##KING... ARMSTRONG!
Fullmetal Alchemist: Cosplayer Convention!
So, I understand this shitbox is supposed to be getting a sequel. Oh well, as the old saying goes, "If it ain't broke don't fix it, and if it's already broken, just break it again."