(AN: this chapter is about Luigi x Bowser, requested by Rainbow Partridge on AO3. This takes place in a dimension where no one died and Peasley never existed)
Luigi was at his locker in the building of Mario High School. He was getting his books for his class, which was History, and he was looking so sad. He sighed and got his books out, and he got to his class. There were a bunch of hearts and flowers and gay shit everywhere because it was Valentine's day, which was the day couples got together to have sex and give each other presents, which was also sex. So many people were kissing each other's boyfriends and girlfriends and being gay about everything, even Mario and Peach. They were the hottest couple in the whole school, and they were making out together in front of the whole school.
Mario and Peach were kissing really hard, like they were trying to get the last bit of cheese dip from those plastic cups with the crackers my mom doesn't buy anymore. "I love you Mario, Happy Valentine's Day!" said Peach as they made out, and Mario said, "You too," and he grabbed onto her butt like it was a bowling ball. Luigi stood there and watched them as they got closer and closer to having sex right there, but they couldn't do that at school because it was illegal. "I am so lonely," said Luigi. He didn't have anyone to date, and he was sad.
"Luigi, what is wrong? are you upset about being a single loser?" said Mario to Luigi, his longtime brother and family member. "Yes, I am. I just wish I had someone to spend today with that I could have sex with, too. Wario and Syrup are dating, and so are Daisy and Mona and Waluigi and Rosalina and Pauline and Coach Donkey Kong and Toad and Toadette and Goombella and Goombario. I am so lonely and sick of being so single all the time." said Luigi. "Well maybe if you weren't so gay that wouldn't happen," said Peach, and she smooshed her boobies together to look attractive to Mario, and it worked.
"Luigi, you'll find someone some day. Don't worry about it!" said Mario, but that didn't cheer Luigi up at all. He was still jealous and surrounded by the love making of his peers. He wanted to cry, but then people would throw trash at him for being an emotional pussy. He went to his class and sat there, and the teacher came in later after everyone was seated. "Class!" Today is Valentine's Day!" said Mr. Toadsworth, the History teacher, "We will now hand out our Valentine's Day cards because that is what we do on Valentine's Day!"
Everyone started giving each other cards, and Luigi got excited to get one too, but as everyone else got some candy and funny cards, Luigi was left with nothing. Toad and Toadette gave each other candy, and Goombella and Goombario traded cards with their penises and vaginas glues onto them so it was sexy, but they were careful not to let the teacher see because doing something like this in class was worth a life sentence in detention. Everyone was so full of love and happiness, except for Luigi because he didn't get jack shit and felt unlovable.
"Hey look!" said Diddy Kong, who was Coach Donkey Kong's nephew who went to high school, "Luigi didn't get any Valentine's! What a fag loser!" They all pointed at Luigi and laughed, and that made Luigi cry so hard and run away form everyone. He ran away from his desk and out the door and down the hallway until he reached the men's bathroom to cry in his stall. He didn't get any Valentine's that whole day, he was single, and everyone knew he was a loser for being single. "Why doesn't anyone love me?" Luigi asked God as he cried alone in his stall.
As Luigi cried, he heard big fat person foot steps go into the bathroom, and whoever owned those feet slipped a piece of paper under the door. Then the big fat person ran away before they could be seen. "What is this?" Luigi asked no one because he is alone. Don't talk to yourself because you will look like a crazy person and get sent to a correctional facility. He opened up the letter, and it was a Valentine's card! He finally got one. He was so happy to get one, and he opened it up to read it and see who wrote it.
It read like this in Luigi's head: 'Dear Luigi, I really think you are the hottest guy in the whole entire high school. I saw how you were sad so I just wanted to let you know that you don't have to be a single loser anymore because I am someone who wants to have sex with you in the butt. Love, a secret admirerer' Luigi was so shocked. "Someone likes me? If they liked me, why didn't they give me a name! Now I'll never know who sent it and I'll keep being lonely!" Luigi was still sad, but also happy because he didn't feel as much of a faggot for being lonely on Valentine's day.
Luigi was able to leave the bathroom not feeling that sad anymore because of the card, and it was time for his next class. As he went to his locker, he saw Bowser, the big bad school bully, picking on Captain Toad for being a tiny midget of a nerd. "Hey, bitch ass!" said Bowser, "Give me your fucking lunch money! I am the school bully, and it's a rule you have to give it to me!" Captain Toad started crying and peeing his diaper and gave up his lunch money. Then Bowser kicked him into a locker and smashed all of his bones.
Luigi was so disgusted. Bowser was such an asshole, and if anyone deserved to be alone on Valentine's Day, it was him. "Bowser! stop picking on Captain Toad! He needs his lunch money for his vitamin deficiency!" Luigi yelled at him and opened up the locked and helped Captain Toad get out. "You're an asshole and a bully! I may be single, but you really do deserve to be alone on Valentine's Day!" Luigi always got bullied a lot, so he had a zero tolerance policy on assholes and bitches. Luigi stomped away and made the ground shake with his fury, and Bowser looked so sad.
Later on in the day, after the next class period, Luigi was going off to lunch, and he was hoping to see the person who sent him the card in the cafeteria. But instead, he got tripped by someone, and his face fell in his food tray. The person who tripped him was this fat asshole with boobs that could belong to a woman. "Ha ha! Gay Luigi fell down! I'm bullying him because he is single on Valentine's Day!" His table of ass clowns started to laugh at him, and Luigi felt like he would cry again because of the embarassment.
But then, Bowser of all people came by and punched the fat kid in the face and made his eyeballs and teeth pop out of his head. "Don't you ever hurt Luigi again! Or I will kill you and your friends and family and everyone who had ever come into contact with you!" Bowser yelled so loud and breathed fire, and all the other bullies turned into ashes. Luigi looked up as this happened, and he was so confused why Bowser would help him. Bowser helped him stand back up and cleaned off his face, then he started walking away.
"Wait!" Luigi yeled at Bowser, "You are a asshole bully. Why did you help me?" he asked to Bowser. Bowser said, "No reason," But Luigi knew that was some horse shit. He watched as Bowser went to his table, and it was empty because he had no friends. He also didn't have any lunch, which Luigi thought was weird since he stole Captain Toad's lunch money. If he took his money, why did he not buy lunch? Luigi was confused, but he went to sit with Mario and Peach and everyone else so he could eat his lunch without any further interrupting.
After lunch, he stil had classes left, and he went to his locker yet again to get his textbooks and other shit for class. But when he opened his locker, a big bouquet of roses and some chocolate buttholes in a heart box fell out. Luigi was so surprised, and he read the name tag. It was from his Secret Admirerer! "Wow! They got me candy and flowers! Oh, I wish I knew who this was!" Luigi hugged the flowers and candy, and everyone at school saw that he got a Valtine's gifts after all. "Wow, Luigi actually got a Valentine!"
Luigi felt so good about himself about not being a faggot anymore. He went to his next class(Economics) and daydreamed about who it could be. He imaged them being handsome with a giant wiener big enough to go out his nose through his butt. He was so inlove with his Secret Admirerer that he didn't even pay attention, which was unlike him because he was super smart and was usually the best at school, but love makes people act like fucking idiots. He just wished that the Secret Admirerer would show himself.
After class, he met Mario and Peach in the hallway, who stopped making out and touching each other all over each other to talk with Luigi. "Mario, look! I got Vaentine's gifts! I got a card from someone in the bathroom and some flowers and chocolate in my locker! It's from a Secret Admirerer so I don't know who gave them to me," said Luigi. "Wow! Good for you, Luigi! We can help you find out who it was!" said Peach, who was a sucker for romance and couple things. In Mario and Peach's next period, which was the last class of the day for everyone, they interviewed a few suspects that they think could have given the gifts to Luigi.
They went over to Chunky Kong, who was the gayest kid in the whole high school, and he was also really fat so he probably left the loud footsteps that Luigi heard in the bathroom. "Hey Chunky Kong," said Mario to Chunky Kong, "Did you give those gifts to Luigi? We are trying to find out who did it so my brother doesn't have to be a faggot anymore and be single." But Chunky Kong said "No, I don't do twinks like Luigi."
They asked every other gay guy in the school, but none of them admitted to it. "Shit, who could have sent it to Luigi?" said Mario, who was close to giving up. It was now the end of the school day, and they met back with Luigi. "Hey, did you find out who likes me?" asked Luigi to Mario and Peach. "No, we didn't. Sorry." said Mario. "Maybe it was just a mean prank on you, Luigi," said Peach, and Luigi got so upset that he wanted to cry. He ran out of the school with his backpack and ran all the way to the back of the school where the dumpsters were.
Luigi sat down and cried really hard. He was crying because he couldn't find his Secret Admirerer and because it smelled really bad. He took out his card and other gifts and got angry. "What if this really was just some mean prank to make me sad like Peach said! I hate Valentine's Day, I don't need anyone!" he stood up to throw all of it in the dumpster, until he heard some big fat person footsteps from around the corner. "Oh my god, those footsteps! Like the ones in the bathroom!" Luigi quickly behind one of the dumpsters so whoever it was didn't see him.
He hid himself and peeked from behind the big smelly dumpster, and the person who showed up was Bowser, the biggest, meanest school bully in all of high school, but he didn't look mean like he usually did. He looked super sad, like a kid who was told he couldn't have anymore chicken nuggets. He leaned on the wall next to the dumpster and looked depressed, like he wanted to kill himself. "I'm such an idiot. Why did I ever think he would like me? I didn't even have the courage to tell him I liked him in a gay way. He would never be with a bully like me. I never should have taken Captain Toad's lunch money, but I wanted to use it to get the flowers and chocolate buttholes because I don't have any money. I'm only a bully because I am single, and now it will stay like that for me because he hates me forever and always."
Luigi was so shocked to hear this. Was Bowser talking about him? So Bowser was his Secret Admirerer? Luigi got so shocked that he dropped all of his gifts on the ground, and Bowser saw this. "Who's there?!" he yelled out, and he ran over to see who it was. "Luigi?! You're here, and you heard everything I said?!" Bowser backed away and was so shocked, and he hated himself and felt so embarrassed. "I can't believe this!I'm such an idiot! I just want to die!" cried Bowser. He pulled out a gun and pointed it at his own head.
Luigi got so scared. He didn't want Bowser to shoot himself because it would be gross. Luigi ran up to him in slow motion and slapped the gun away from him, and he made a sound like this: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
The bullet came out of the gun, but it missed Bowser's head, and it went overt and shot another student instead but no one cared about them. Bowser was so shocked. "Luigi, you saved me? Why?" Bowser asked Luigi. "I'm a huge asshole bully. Why didn't you just let me die? And aren't you disgusted that I was your Secret Admirerer and that I like you in a gay way?" But Luigi said to Bowser, "I couldn't let you die. You may have been a bully in the past, but that doesn't mean you aren't a good person. You saved me at Lunch, and you got me gifts when I felt sad. Yeah, you did take Captain Toad's lunch money, but you had good intentions. Besides, you can always change your ways as a person."
"Also, Bowser," said Luigi, and he got really close to Bowser and his penis. "I...I like you too, in a gay way like you said. I always thought you were really sexy and handsome looking, but I hated how you were a bully, but I know you were just frustrated with the world and how evil people can be. If you promise to stop bullying, I will be boyfriends with you, and we can spend the rest of Valentine's Day together with each other." Bowser was blushing really hard and he looked like a giant tomato that was hired to sing songs on VHS. "Of course! I will never bully again because I have you to make me happy!"
They both started kissing really hard, and Bowser finally got to put his finger into Luigi's butthole. He used his claw to poke through his pants and stick his whole finger in his butthole, and it made Luigi get sexier. He grabbed Bowser's biceps like they were boobs and he rubbed his penis against Bowser's penis. "Replace your finger with your penis, please." Neither of them could wait until they got home. They had to do sex, right here, right now, behind the school where the dumpsters were. Bowser was so excited about this.
He ripped up Luigi's pants with his claws, and he turned Luigi around so he could put his giant turtle dick into Luigi's butt. Luigi also took his own penis and started to swing it around like a baseball bat, and it was hitting his two balls like he wanted home runs. Bowser started having sex with Luigi's butt really hard from the back. "Luigi, this feels better than I ever could have dreamed of," said Bowser to Luigi in regards to the sex they were having. "I agree! I love you Bowser, you and your amazing sex abilities!" screamed Luigi.
Bowser thought that this was the best sex in the world because Luigi couldn't get pregnant and he didn't have to wrap Bowser JR in a condom. "Luigi, this is my first sex and it feels so good. Is this your first sex, too?" Bowser asked him, and Luigi said "Yes! It feels so good. This is better than I ever imagined before previously." Bowser's penis was so long that it couldn't all fit in Luigi's butt, so it had to go further inside to get it all to fit. It went all the way into Luigi's stomach, and it made him look like he was pregnant with Bowser's penis.
Bowser was pounding into Luigi's butt so hard that Luigi's face would slam against the dumpster, and it got knocked over and all the trash came out and went everywhere. When the Janitor finds out, he will be pissed off beyond belief, but they would surely be done with sex before that happened. It was definitely getting there, because Bowser's penis was swelling up super big, and Luigi looked like one of those Pringles cans. "I am about to release my semen inside of you!" screamed Bowser to Luigi, and that's what he said before doing it.
He released all of his semen into Luigi's virgin body, and Luigi ballooned into the fattest person in the whole wide world because Bowser was just full of so much semen, but it all came out when Bowser took his penis out of his butthole so he didn't have to get a gastric bypass surgery and be on TV. Luigi and Bowser laid down on the ground and cuddled each other, and they were all sweaty and breathing really hard like they did some exercise which wasn't far from what happened. "That was so good. I love you, Bowser," said Luigi, "This is the best Valentine's Day I ever had."
"Me too," said Bowser, "I agree with you, Luigi, and I love you, too." They both stayed there like that for a while until they were ready to go. "Okay, let's go spend the rest of Valentine's Day together." Bowser suggested that they go out on a date and see a movie. They got dressed and cleaned up all the semen, and Luigi got all of his gifts and they got into Bowser's cool car, which had spikes and flames on it. They ate the chocolate buttholes together and listened to some cool music, and they drove off to the theatre together. They saw that new movie that came out.
(AN: thanks for reading! if u want me to write a Mario High School AU short, just comment to make a request and i will right it)