(AN: this chapter is for SilverKidia bcos they wanted a paper mario fic, so i thot it'd be fun to write mario high school as a paper mario game lol this takes place right after the end of Mario High School chap 40, but it is not canon to the story of the series)
Mario and Peach were at Peach's room having sex like rabbid animals. "Peach, your peach pussy feels so good and tight!" said Mario as he had sex with her lower body parts. "Thanks," said Peach, "I appreciate that, and I hope you appreciate me when I say that your penis feels good inside me!" They were doing it so hard and loud that Peach's parents, who were babysitting for Pocahontas, could hear it. "What is that noise, Grandma and Grandpa?" little baby Pocahontas asked his grandparents, and the King said, "That is your parents! They are doing the same thing that made you into a baby!"
There was a bookcase full of books, which you read to gain knowledge, on the other side of the room on the wall, and Mario was having sex with Peach so hard that the bookcase started rocking back and forth and made one book fall off the shelf. Then, Mario finished sex by putting his semen inside of Peach for her to use later. They both laid down on the bed with their backs and looked so tired ans sweaty, which is what sex does to you. "Wow, you are becoming an expert at sex by this point, Mario," said Peach to Mario, her boyfriend who is also the person she had a baby with, who is Pocahontas. Sex is what made the baby, but they would not have a baby after this time because they had on a Condom.
"I know! That is because I have lots of sex practise! You can only get good at doing things by practicing a whole lot!" said Mario. It was just like when he was on the football team, and anyone else who does stuff they're good at. You don't start off being a master at everything like Mario is. After that, Peach's butler, Mr. Butler, came in through the door of the bedroom. "Madame, if you and Mr. Mario are finished with sex, you are invited downstairs to enjoy an unforgettable luncheon in the Dining Hall. Please get dressed and join the King and Queen and Pocahontas posthaste." Then he left.
"Okay Mario, let's get dressed so we can eat! I'm so famished after having sex!" said Peach. Sex was such a calorie burner. Peach went into the bathroom while Mario stood around her bedroom with his penis out. He put on some underwear so his penis would not be seen by others, and then he put on his normal clothes on top of that, because you can't just wear underwear and nothing else(it is called "underwear" because you wear it under stuff). After he was dressed and Peach was still taking forever, like a girl would do, he noticed the book he knocked into the floor with his powerful sexquakes.
"Oh, what is this?" he asked to no one but himself. He bent over and picked up the book. It was pretty big, and it looked really fancy. "Hey, maybe this is Peach's diary!" he said, and he got curious as to what it could say. Maybe it would talk about how good Mario was at sex, or how about some sexy girls' locker room secrets? He wanted to know what it could say, so he opened up the book, but it wasn't Peach's diary. It was a picture book, full of all sorts of characters. Mario was in it, and so was Peach, Luigi, Toad, Daisy, Peasley, Bowser, and everyone else. It was paper versions of everybody.
"What is this? Why am I in this book I've never seen before?" He didn't know someone wrote a book about him, and he never even got paid for it, so what gives? But then, the book started to shake and glow, and a bunch of gay sparkled came out of the pages and went all around Mario. He was lifted off the floor, and he could feel himself get sucked into the book. "OH FUCK!" Mario screamed as he swooshed into the book, and the book fell back on the floor and closed. Mario swirled all around as he was transported into another dimension, and he felt his body change, but not like in puberty. His body became flat, and his blood and organs and bones and semen didn't exist anymore because he was now made of paper!
Then, he exited the big black hole in the sky, and he thought he would fall to his death but he just floated down because he's made of paper now. He landed on some soft grass and looked around him. This world was so similar to his world, but it was different because it was made out of paper and cardboard. "Whoa, what just happened? Did that book take me to a new world?" Mario asked himself. Just then, he saw his brother, and he was also made out of paper. "Hi Mario! You look freaked out. Are you okay?" he asked his not-brother Mario.
"Luigi! The book got you too? How long have you been trapped here?" Mario asked, but Luigi looked confused. "Trapper here? What the fuck are you talking about? We've always been here, and we've always been made of paper. Did your brain get caught in an updraft! HA!" Luigi started laughing, but Mario was too scared to find anything funny. "Luigi, I am not from this world. My real world is 3-Dimensional, and I have blood and guts and bones and semen where I live, but then I opened a book and was taken here so I turned into a Paper Mario!"
"What?" said Luigi, "That sounds so silly. I'm not that gullible, you should be ashamed for trying to lie to your little brother!" Then Peasley came up to them too, and he was also made of paper. "Hey guys, what is up?" asked Peasley, and Luigi said, "Mario is making up stories about how he used to live in a 3D world where he wasn't made of paper and had semen. He's pranking me again!" And Peasley laughed. "Mario, you trickster! All of us have been paper ever since we were born!" Mario was getting angry. "Both of you shut up! I am not lying, and I'm gonna find a way back to my world!"
Mario stomped off, and he went towards the mall. He saw lots of people there, and they were people he recognized, but they were not the same because they were paper. Mario couldn't believe this was happening to him. He had just finished having some really cool sex, and then he gets put into a shitty paper dimension where everyone is an asshole. At the food court, he saw Daisy and Captain Syrup sharing a milkshake.
Mario went over to them. "Daisy! Syrup! You need to help me!" Mario looked so panicked, so they were concerned for him. "What is wrong, Mario? We are on a date right now," said Daisy, "but we will do out best to help you anyways because we are friends of you!" And Syrup agreed.
Mario said to them, "Guys, I am not of this world! I was having sex with my girlfriend, Peach, and then I opened up a book that turned me into paper and sent me to this world, which is also made of paper! My real world of which I am from is 3D, instead of flat!"
"Mario, thats stupid. Why do you always have to interrupt our date times with dumb shit?" said Syrup, who was pissed. "Yeah, everyone knows 3D is not real!" said Daisy. They threw the milkshake at him and he got all sticky and soggy because he was Paper Mario now. Mario was so depressed because none of his friends would help him with his predicament.
He was so sad because he just missed his home. He just wanted to have sex and eat lunch but now he was in this paper fuckwad of shithole. He missed his real friends, and he missed his real brother, and he missed his baby Pocahontas. But most of all, he missed Peach, his girlfriend.
Then, Mario remembered an important plot point: if this world had paper versions of all his friends, then there must be a paper version of Peach! Maybe she would listen to him and could even help him get back home! He ran as fast as his skinny ass paper legs would take him all the way to Peach's castle. He got there, and Peach was there, and she was still really hot even though she was made of paper and didn't have boobs to touch.
"Hi Mario! I was just standing here doing nothing! You look so scared. What is wrong?" she asked, and Mario was so relieved. "Peach, I might look like your actual paper boyfriend, Paper Mario, but I am not. I came from a 3D world, and I just finished having sex with you in it, but then I opened up one of your books and it sent me here! Please believe me because no one else will and I don't know how to get back home!" Mario started crying because he didnt want her to not believe him like everyone else did.
"Oh no! Wait, did you say you were sent here through a book? Because I have a book here that speaks of a 3D world! I have had it for a long time because it has been passed down from my family!" Peach ran over to her bookshelf and pulled out the book from the bookshelf and opened it up, but the pages were all missing! "Oh no, the pages are all missing! Now you cannot go back to your world! You will have to find all of the pages if you want to go back to your world!" Said Peach, and Mario sighed and said "God dammit..."
"How am I supposed to find all of those fucking pages?" said Mario, who was so pissed off and frustrated. "I don't know, but I have this special device that can be used to track down the pages because it uses special magnetic technology, which was invented by the Romans in 1924!" Science was usually boring and a big waste of time, but this time it was cool because it could help Mario get home. "Wow! Thanks Peach! I would have sex with you if you has a 3D vagina!" Mario took the device and set out on his quest.
Mario kept walking and walking and walking, walking out of the city until he was far away, because that was where the device was taking him. "Where could the pages be? I am really far away now," said Mario to himself because no one came with him, or so he thought. "Hello!" said the device, "I am alive, and I am taking you to Bowser's far away condo in Beach City!" The device has cartoon eyes and a squeaky voice. "Bowser? He has the pages? But I thought he was a good guy after we rescued him from jail and became friends!" said Mario as he was so confused how he could do this.
"This paper world is exactly like your world in every way, except for the fact that Bowser is a good guy because he is actually a bad guy in this world of Paper. That is because 3D Peach spilled grape juice on his page of the book so he is still pissed about it," said Devicey, which is the device's name. "Wow, what a clumsy, irresponsible bitch. Imagine being a dumb bitch dumb enough to disrespect a work of literature." Then, they were getting close to Bowser's beach condo. Devicey started beeping really loudly. "All the pages are in his condo! It's time to go in right now!"
Mario ran towards the condo and jump kicked the window, and it sent shards of glass everywhere and it stabbed through all of Bowser's little cousins and ripped them in half. So many paper children were laid there on the floor, dead. "Mario," said Bowser,"What the fuck do you think you're doing, breaking into my beautiful beach condo! You're being a dick!" Bowser said, but Mario didn't care. "Shut up! I know you have all the pages to Peach's special magic book! I will kick you're ass if yuou don't give it to me right now!"
But Bowser just laughed at that because he was so not scared by Mario's threats. "Sure, you can have it, Mario, after I finish wiping my ass with all the pages after my Big Poops!" Bowser always had the nastiest poops ever because he was a dragon turtle made of fire, so he had spicy breath and stinky, melty poops, the kind of poop that burns your butthole and looks like chocolate barf. Those kinds of poops always smell the worst and can tear apart a family of 5. If Bowser wiped off the poop on the pages, he would never get to go back home.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! DO NOT WIPE YOUR ASS WITH THOSE PAGES!" said Mario. He ran at Bowser and tackled him like the football player he once was. He got on Bowser's shoulders and wrapped his legs around his neck so he could choke him and pull on his hair, and Bowser couldn't breathe and he did his best to get Mario off of him. He ran backwards into the wall so Mario would get hurt and fall off. Then, when Mario fell on the floor, Mario kicked Bowser in the balls and put a cork in his butthole so he couldn't poop.
Mario ran up to the bathroom and put all the toilet paper and bars of soap in the toilet so it was clogged and couldn't be used. He began looking for all the pages he wanted to use as toilet paper, and he found them in a secret compartment under the floor. He counted them, and it was all of the pages he needed. Then, when he ran back down, Bowser was there waiting for him. "Give me back those pages! I need to poop really bad!"
"Too bad, Bowser! I clogged your toilet so you can't POOP!" Mario and Devicey laughed, and Bowser went "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" And he started getting really big like Rosalina before she died.
Devicey said, "Oh no! He's gonna blow!" and she made a giant force field around them to protect them. She had so many uses that Mario wondered if she could be used to make sex cooler than it already was. Then, right when she made the force field, Bowser exploded, and his poop went everywhere. It looked like someone had repainted the house with his poop, and no part of the house was left unpooped. Mario and Devicey didn't want to be in the poop so they rolled out of the house in their force field and waited until they were far away to get away from the poop and the smell.
They got out of the force field and smelled the fresh, unpooped air. "Wow, we did it Mario! We found the missing pages and defeated Bowser! Now you can go back home!" said Devicey, and Mario felt so accomplished that he had done this. They went all the way back to Peach's castle and showed her the pages. "Wow, you did it Mario! You found the missing pages and defeated Bowser! Now you can go back home!" said Peach, and Mario was so excited to finally go back to his real world in 3D quality. Peach put the pages in the book, and they magically fused with the book and healed as if they had never been ripped out of it.
Then, the book started to glow and shimmer, and it exploded into a giant black hole. Mario stepped towards the portal and looked back at Peach and Devicey. "Thank you for all your help. I am now going back home. Have fun being made of paper and not having bones or semen," said Mario, and Devicey started crying. "Mario! I will miss you! I'll never forget the grand adventure we went on together!" Mario felt emotional too, but he wanted to go home, even if it meant leaving behind the friends he made in this world. Mario jumped through the portal and went back home.
He was swooshed back to his world, and he teleported outside the book and was now back in Peach, his Peach and not the paper one, room. He felt himself all over, but not in a masturbatory way. He felt his squishy flesh, and then touched all over to see if he had all of his stuff back, and he did. His balls were full of semen, and his body was full of meat and blood and all the other tasty stuff. "I'm back! Wow, it feels so good to not be made of paper!" Then, Peach came out of the bathroom and was all dolled up and hot as always.
"Hey Mario, what's with all the hubbub, bub?" she said, and Mario was so emotional to see her again. He ran up to her and hugged her so hard, and since he was shorter than her he was able to squish her face in her big boobies. "Peach! I missed you! So much! I missed you and your sexy 3D body!" cried Mario, and Peach was like, "Mario, what are you talking about? I was just in the bathroom and I just saw you a few minutes ago. You are probably tired from having lots of sex and not eating. Let's go downstairs and eat some food."
Peach went out the door and started walking with Mario, but then Mario stopped and looked back at her room. He saw the book, and it was on the ground. He went over to it and put it back on the shelf where it was safe and sound. Then he went back downstairs with Peach and his other family and ate so much food that he pooped for 4 hours.