(AN: 3 guests on FF . net wanted a story on Mario and Pauline dating even tho they never dated in the Mario High School canon, but that's still okay because this is an AU story. So, in this chapter, Donkey Kong and Peach were aborted before they could be born and thus never existed so Mario and Pauline could date.)
Mario was sitting at the lunch table with his friends in the cafeteria, the room at High School in which scrumptious food was served for students to enjoy without charge. He sat with Luigi, his brother, and Peasley, his boyfriend, along with their other friends: Wario with Captain Syrup, his girlfriend, and Waluigi was with his girlfriend Rosalina. They were all sitting at the table together because they were friends and they were all eating lunch together like friends would do together. The food for today was macaroni and cheese and orange juice because they were both the same color.
"It sure is nice to have a girlfriend, unless you are a gay like Luigi who likes boys," said Wario, who liked to touch Captain Syrup's vagina under the table like no one noticed except everyone did notice. "No afence, Luigi and Peasley," he said to Luigi and Peasley, but Luigi and Peasley didn't mind because they knew they were gay. "Yeah, having a girlfriend(or boyfriend in Luigi and Peasley's case because they are gay) is so cool, because then you have someone you can rely on that also gives you cool sex," said Waluigi, and Rosalina put her hands on his arm so she could feel his muscles.
As Wario and Waluigi were talking, Luigi and Peasley looked at them with stern faces and said "SSSHHHHH!" really loud at them to shut them up, and then they all looked at Mario. He was now playing with his food, macaroni and cheese and orange juice, and looking sad and lonely. Unlike everyone else at the table, he didn't have a girlfriend(or boyfriend in Luigi and Peasley's case because they are gay). He had recently broken up with Mona, his last girlfriend, because of large complications in their relationship. It was especially depressing to him because it was almost their anniversary and they had been dating since the beginning of Middle School.
"Oh man," said Wario, who was ashamed and embarrassed and felt like a fat ass hole, "I totally forgot you just broke up with your girl friend, Mona. Sorry dude," said Wario to Mario. "Yeah, sorry Mario," said Waluigi to Mario, "But hey, you'll find a new girlfriend! You're the most popular guy in school! You could get any girl you wanted!" Waluigi was right, and everyone else agreed. "Yeah! It's time to move on so you can get a new girlfriend and be happy again!" said Peasley, "Get back out there so you can forget about Mona and get on with your life instead of being sad!"
"Yeah, plus if you dont find a girlfriend in the next week, you won't have a girl friend for the dance on Saturday night and you'll be a loser and have to sit at the fag table," said Luigi, and he was right. It was now Monday, and he had until Friday to find a committed girl friend or he'd be a single loser. "Yeah, you're right guys. I've been sad about Mona for long enough. It's time to move on and start dating again!" Mario was now inspired by his friends, and he had the energy to continue living. "That's great!" said Rosalina to Mario, happy for him, "Who are you thinking about asking to be your girlfriend?"
Mario and everyone else decided to scan the room looking for single ladies that were hot enough to fit Mario's standards. At one table, they saw Birdo, and they all said "Ew, no way!" because her face looks like anal prolapse. At another table, they saw Vivian. She was a lot hotter than Birdo, but she didn't have boobs or eye balls so that was a no from Mario. Then there was Wendy Koopa, Bowser's little cousin, who was a freshman, but she was really young and was a turtle. It seemed that all the girls in school were either taken or too ugly to ever be acceptable by anyone, until Mario saw a girl walk into the cafeteria.
She had long brown hair, long eyelashes, lots of make up, and a pair of big gigantic boobs and a pair of succulent ass cheeks wrapped up in a skin tight red dress that showed her boobs and the crease in her ass, and even her vagina if you were low enough when she took a big long step in her high heeled shoes. Everyone was enamored by her as she walked into the room, and everyone stopped talking so they could stare at her. Captain Syrup and Rosalina crossed their arms and looked disgusted. "Ugh, who is this girl? She looks like such a slut!" said Syrup.
Even though all the girls (and gays) in the cafeteria weren't impressed, Mario certainly was. He had never seen this girl before, which made him think she was new. But he could already tell that she was definitely the hottest girl in all of High School history, and he wanted her so badly. Mario watched her closely as she want to a single empty table in the back of the cafeteria. She looked pissed off, so Mario knew this was his time to shine. He would just go over and cheer her up and convince her to date him. After all, who in the right mind would deny his offer of sex?
"I'm gonna go talk to her," said Mario as he left his table to be with the new girl. He made sure to look extra hot and cool and popular as he walked over to her so he could impress her more. As he was walking to her table, he scooped up a bunch of macaroni and cheese from Toad's tray and put it in the front of his pants so it would make his penis and balls look bigger. "Hey!" Toad shouted at Mario angrily, "That was my macaroni and cheese! DO NOT put it with your penis and balls!" But it was too late and Mario did not care.
She looked so bored eating her lunch, until Mario slid into the seat next to her and looked so seductive and manly. "Hey beautiful Never see you here ever before. You know, there's a school dance on Saturday, which is this weekend after Friday which is the last day of this school week. Since you are obviously the most conventionally attractive girl in this High School, and I am the Most Popular, it's only natural that we go together." Mario looked at the new girl with sexy eyes that were filled with sex dreams, but she didn't look like giving her vagina to Mario.
She just looked as bored as before, but more annoyed too, like a mixed up bored and annoyed salad. "What's wrong? How are your nipples not hard for me yet?" Mario said to the new girl, confused, because he looked at her boobs and they didn't get bigger and pointy. She just glared at him and said this, "What do you think you're doing?" she asked, sounding pissed off to Mario. "Um," said Mario, "Im seducing you. Your supposed to say Yes so we can start dating. The dance is only days away!" Mario rolled his eyes because women can be so stupid and clueless.
"You think you can just walk up to me and want sex of me out of nowhere? You don't even know my name or anything about me, and I don't know your name or anything about you either! So you don't care about me, you only care about my body! All you did was look at me and decide that you were gonna be my boyfriend without caring about my feelings because you are so stuck up about you being cool and popular to everyone in the High School! Even if we did know each other, I would never date you because you are just like all the other men that have tried to date me! You are all jerks who only want me for my sexy body. None of you deserve me! I thought that I would find a Good Boy after moving here, but it turns out that I was wrong and all men are the same!"
She was so angry to Mario, which Mario did not understand because all he did was ask her a question. Maybe she was just bleeding from her vagina like his Mama used to do. Then, the bell rang, and she shot up from her lunch seat and walked away from Mario, and Mario got to watch her big butt cheeks move side to side and look sexy. But what the new girl said was still in Mario's head, like voices that echoed across a canyon. He was so confused, because any other girl would be thrilled to date someone cool and popular and good looking like Mario. If he wanted to tame this wild sex stallion and ride her after the dance on Saturday, he needed some help.
After Lunch and during his next class, while they were doing shitty boring school work, Mario leaned over to Waluigi's seat, which was next to his seat in class. He had to whisper to Waluigi or the teacher would get mega pissed off. "Psst! Waluigi! It is I, Mario, asking you a question during class!" whispered Mario to Waluigi during class. "what do you want Mario? I am taking notes for the next test, wahhh! You will get me in trouble" Mario did not stop. "I will be in bigger trouble if you do not help me! I need help as soon as possible, and friends are supposed to help their friends!"
Waluigi waited a second and then gave in and sighed. "Okay, Mario, I give in. What do you need?" and Mario said to zWaluigi, "It's about the new girl in high school. She said she won't date me because I don't know anything about her, and now she won't talk to me. Is there anything you can tell me to help me out? I need to take her to the dance and make her my sex girlfriend!"
Waluigi thunked about it for a few seconds, looking like the thinking emoji. "Since she hates you now, you should be like a detective and find out things about her. I'm sure she's talked to other people around the school." Mario thought this was so smart. If he were gay, he'd kiss Waluigi for being so smart. But then, the teacher, Mr. Toadstool, was in front of Waluigi's desk and looking really pissed off.
"WALUIGI! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU TALK DURING CLASS! THAT'S IT, I AM CALLING YOUR PARENTS AND YOU ARE SO GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED!" yelled out Mr. Toadstool in a disciplinary voice.
Waluigi glared at Mario as security officers dragged him away. "You are a fat bitch Mario" Waluigi would hate Mario for a while because of this, but Mario would cross that bridge later. Now he needed to find out a way to earn the new girl's love. At the end of the day, when all the classes were over with, and everyone was outside at the front waiting to go home, Mario would go up to the girls of the school and see if any of them had talked to the girl and befreinded her. He went up to Goombella, whom he always thought kind of looked like poop.
"Hey Goombella," Mario asked to Goombella this, "Have you seen that new girl? The really hot one with the boobs? I was wondering if you had made friends with her yet and knew anything about her." Goombella then started to look sad. "I wish I could be her friend! But she looks way too pretty and popular to be my friend." Mario thought that was pretty accurate because Goombella was ugly and unpopular. He knew he had to start asking the pretty and popular girls who were more likely to be worthy of being friends with the girl. The first girls that came to mind were Daisy, Mona, Rosalina, and Captain Syrup were the first to come to mind. But he knew he could not ask Mona because he and her just broke up, and talking to Daisy would be awkward because she recently started dating Mona after her and Mario broke up.
So his best guesses would be Syrup and Rosalina, so he looked around for them. He saw Rosalina, Waluigi, Wario, and Syrup all went up to them and tried talking to Rosalina first, but Waluigi glared at him because he was still pissed for getting him in trouble. "Wahhh, what do you want Mario? I don't want to talk to you! " And Mario said "Waluigi, I am sorry for getting your ass kicked by your mom, but I need to talk to your girlfriend okay? " But Waluigi said "No! Get the fuck away from me and my girlfriend! I will be mad at you for this for an undetermined amount of time!" Then Waluigi went away and dragged Rosalina with him.
So now Mario's only hope was Captain Syrup. "Wario, are you going to be mad about me for getting Waluigi in trouble too?" Mario said to Wario. "Of course not! Waluigi is a big baby. You may talk to my girlfriend." Mario was so relieved, and he turned to Syrup to talk to her face. "Syrup! I need to know if you know anything about the new girl from lunch! Please tell me anything you know about her!" Mario was pretty much begging with his knees on the ground and a pathetic gay look on his face because he was desperate for puntang.
"I don't know much, but I have a class with her. The teacher said her name was Pauline, but I don't think she has any friends here. She looked so unhappy all class long." said Syrup to Mario. Mario instantly got a big weiner from her name. Pauline sounded so hot even though it had a guy's name in it. "Pauline huh...Syrup, would you do me a favor and try to be friends with her?"
"Mario, you only want me to be friends with her because you want her vagina." Syrup said with a "rlly?" look on her face. But Mario said this: "Syrup, I just want to find out more about her, and she won't talk to me! I want you to be friends with her because I want a chance to be with her! Plus, you said she was unhappy and friendless, so if you were her friend she would be happier! Please, I'll do anything if you could just do this one thing!" Mario was frantically asking her to do this, because he was so lonely and in love with Pauline.
Syrup looked like she was gonna be a bitch like everyone else and say no, but then she sighed and said "Fine. I will do it, but you owe me!" Then Syrup went off with Wario to go have a date or do sex or something. Mario was so happy and hoped his plan would work out because he wanted to date and do sex with Pauline so bad, like what Syrup and Wario are doing right now. He went home with Luigi and when they got home Mario asked Luigi if he wanted to play video games with him, but Luigi said no because he had to suck poop out of his butthole for sex with Peasley.
That night, Mario was thinking about how hot Pauline looked at school, and he got a big penis from just thinking about it. Her boobs were really big and cool, and her butt was also really big and cool, and her hair was really long and pretty, unlike Mona's who had a gross lesbian haircut. Mario started swinging his big penis around to masterbait in order to sexually satisfy himself and his needs and desires. He imaged that Pauline was sucking on it and doing all sorts of cool things to his penis to satisfy him, and that made his semen go everywhere on the walls and floor and bed and dresser and himself and it covered the whole room in white so it looked like Mario was in an insane asylum.
The next day at school, it was lunch, and Mario was excited to talk to Syrup to see what she knew about Pauline. "Syrup! I need to know what you know about the new girl, Pauline! Tell me posthaste!" Mario demanded, and Syrup replied, "Well Mario, I thought she was a whore slut, but she is actually very nice! We are friends now, and me and the est of the girls are gonna take her out Friday, the day before the school dance, to do girly friend stuff! And Mario, she also told me what you said to her in the cafeteria yesterday during school lunch! You are a sexist pig!"
"What? Syrup, just tell me things about her so she can have sex with me already," said Mario, who was getting less and less horny by listening to Syrup nag at him all the time. "No! You need to learn how to Respect Women! No wonder Mona dumped you!" Mario was so angry, but also hurt because she was making fun of his break up with Mona and blaming it on him. "How am I not Respectful to Women? Offering sex is very kind and generous of me!" Syrup was disgusted, and so were the rest of the girls at the lunch table, and they all left to sit with Pauline away from the boys.
"Wahhh!" Waluigi said pissedfully, "God dammit Mario, you pissed off all of our girlfriends and Daisy and Mona because you're an asshole! First you get me grounded and then you do this! Wahhh!" Wario said, "Yeah, you need to learn how to Respect Women, Mario. That is why you are the only one without a girlfriend, besides Luigi and Peasley because they are gay together." Mario was so offended. "I'm not sexist! I dated Mona before, remember? Pauline just won't date me because she's a bitch." Luigi and Peasley shook their heads. "Mario," said Luigi, "You can't just ask girs of sex out of nowhere. That is Objectifying and not Respectful to Women."
"Yeah, you have to be friends with a girl and then date her before sexing her." said Peasley. "What do you know about girls., you two are gay for boys and boy penises" said Mario because he was getting annoyed. "Wahh, because Luigi and Peasleyare gay, which are as girly as you can get without being girls, so they know how to do gay shit like Respect Women." said Wario. He was good at being smart occasionally along with being the fattest kid in school. "Also," said Waluigi," about what you said before about dating Mona. She says that she dumped your chubby ass because you were sexist and did not Respect Women and didn't care about her interests and only wanted sex from her."
Mario looked down at his tray of food, which was steak, beans, and chocolate milk, all brown foods. Maybe everyone was right about him not Respecting Women, and maybe he was too demanding with sex. "you guys might be right...Wario, Waluigi, and Luigi and Peasley even if you two are gay, do you think you could teach me to be...Respectful to Women?" Mario pleaded with his friends. Wario, Waluigi, Luigi, and Peasley all looked at each other, in a thinking all together at the ame time way, and then they nodded at the same time too.
Wario said, "Okay, Mario, because you are our friend, and we want you to stop pissing off women, we will teach you how to be a gantleman to women and to Respect them so you can have sex with them the right way." Mario was so happy, and he smiled. "Thank you! You guys are my true best friends ever! I promise I will do my best!" Waluigi said this, "I am still pissed at you, but maybe teaching you how to Respect WOmen will make it so you stop acting like an asshole and getting me in trouble over women hating you."
"We can all go to my house after school," said Peasley, "I am probably the most romantic one here, so I can teach you how to tell girls sweet pick up lines, and how to be sweet and caring and sensitive." And Luigi said, "I can bring my seijin yaoi romance mangas and animes for you to watch/read so you can see examples of respectful relationships." Wario said, "I can teach you many good and helpful sex tips that can help you greatly please your Woman along with yourself." Waluigi said last, "I can teach you how to dress nicely and have a cool style to help impress women." Waluigi was the smoothest and most stylish out of the group that wasnt gay or a girl.
"Wow, you guys can all use your individual talents to help me! You are all coming together and bringing your knowledge forth to help me! Thank you!" Mario thanked his friends and they kept having school that day. After school, they all went over to Peasley's house, and it was like Mario High School 2.0: The Sequel because Mario was there to learn even more stuff, but this time it wasn't gay or boring because it was about having sex with Pauline. Peasley, Luigi, Wario, and Waluigi went to different rooms to set up their classrooms for Mario.
Waluigi was first, and he was in Peasley's upstairs attic. He was first because he was going to show Mario how to present himself, which is the first step because your appearance is the first thing women notice about you. "Okay Mario, I'm going to teach you about presenting yourself. If you wanna take Pauline to the dance and show her you care, you need to dress nice and put effort into your appearance so she will know you care." Mario seemed confused. "But I'm already hot, all the ugly girls in school would love to date me."
Waluigi said, "You wear gym shorts and your football jersey every day, and you don't do your hair at all. Pauline is a classy lady and probably spends 2875723091924875 hours on her look a day and you look like you get out of bed and slap clothes on and then leave the house, shut the fuck up and listen to my advice if you wanna fuck this girl so badly okay i didn't even have to come here like I could be home jerking off to American Horror Story but instead I'm running my mouth off to the guy who got me grounded in history class."
Waluigi brought over all of his tailoring supplies (bcos he can do this) and he got Mario to stand up and t pose so he could measure him. Mario was shorter and fatter than Waluigi so he couldn't just wear any of hi clothes, so Waluigi is just gonna make him a whole new outfit so he can look presentable for Pauline. He was making him a fancy looking tux, with pinstripes and a cute red bow tie and all that, and he also made some nice dress shoes to go with it because Waluigi is cool. He finished it after a while, and Mario was looking a lot more handsome.
Waluigi also brought over a comb and some hair gel so Mario can make his hair look nice. He put gel in his hair and combed it back, and Mario's hair was looking nicely done for once. He looked like a lawyer or the President. But Mario was not comfortable. He wanted to get back in his comfortable clothes, but he was desperate to get Pauline to like him before his penis dried up and died from a lack of vaginal water keeping his penis moisturized. "OK Mario, now you do not look like shit. You also have to not smell like shit." Waluigi pulled out some cologne and sprayed Mario with it.
Mario started to cough and choke because he thought it was so nasty and strong with ass smell. "Why did you do that? Is all this really necessary?" Waluigi groaned, "Mario, if you want Pauline to like you, you have to impress her visually and smellually! She isn't an easily impressed bitch like Mona who would date any ugly fat jock like you, Pauline is a feminist type, and they have standards." Mario sighed, if this is what it would take to have sex with someone as hot as Pauline, he would have to live with it. But now, Mario had style, and was one step closer to winning Pauline's heart and sexy vagina.
Next was Peasley, who was in his bedroom. He was going to teach Mario how to use words and actions to impress women. "Wow Mario, you look and smell great!" said Peasley. He was Luigi's boyfriend, but he couldn't deny that Mario was kind of hot to him for the first time ever, but he would never cheat on Luigi with Mario even thought his penis got a teensy bit microscopically bigger if you looked at it hard enough. "Now that you will look good to a woman, which is Pauline, it is time for you to learn how to do sweet talk, pick-up lines, and other gestures sweet to the opposite, or same in my case because I am gay, sex."
Mario already knew he was an expert at this, so he would pass easily. "Okay Mario, I am going to pretend to be a women, and I want you to try and approach me and use your best pick up line?" Mario thought it was easy to pretend that Peasley was a woman because he liked penises as a woman would do, and he dressed and had hair like one. Mario sucked in his butt cheeks and puffed up his chest and strutted over to Peasley, looking his best sexy face as he could make. "Hey sexy, your boobs are looking very pretend huge today. Would you like to do sex in my room so we can measure them with my foot long penis?"
Peasley looked really offended and slapped Mario. "How rude! You have just Sexualised and Objectified me in an inappropriate mannor, and you will be arrested for Sexual Assault!" Mario rubbed his cheeks where he was slapped and got pissed. "What the fuck Peasley?" And Peasley just laughed. "I was pretending to be an angry woman, Mario! I had to be accurate because I am a Theatre Kid." said Peasley to Mario. "Also, this is what really will happen in real life if you say that to a woman. That was very Disrespectful to Women, talking about doing horrible sex acts upon them without knowing them."
"Mario, I want you to pretend to be a woman right now, and I will be you." said Peasley to Mario, who said back to Peasley, "Me? Be the women? You're nuts!" And Peasley rolled his eyes. "Mario, it's just pretending. I am going to show you how to properly approach a woman in a Respectful Mannor." Mario was pissed about having to be the girl because he was a man and not gay like Peasley and Luigi, but he agreed anyways because he just wanted to get this over with and date/sex Pauline. And Peasley was half way there to being a woman himself so he guessed he would know what women liked.
Peasley walked up to Mario. "Okay, it is time to Improv. You're Pauline at the school cafeteria for lunch, and I'm you." Peasley comes over to Mario. In this scene, Pauline(Mario) is wearing her red dress and eating an apple, medium rare steak, and wine, all red foods. Mario(Peasley) walks over to the table where she is sitting and says. "Wow, Pauline, I did not know you were part of the menu today." Then, everything went back to normal, and Peasley and Mario were themselves again. "You see Mario? In that scenario, she would have laughed and invited you to sit with her, which would lead into a long conversation and possibly end with you two dating at the school dance. But instead, when you met her the other day, you made sexual comments, which pissed her off."
But Mario was not buying it. "That's stupid. That would never work. Everyone likes sex, why wouldn't that work with her?" Peasley sighed and was getting frustrated. Why is Mario so stubborn to change? Then, Peasley got another idea. "Okay Mario, in order for you to understand why it is wrong, you need to view it from a womans perspective. That is why I am going to try something with you." Peasley decided that there was only one way to get through to him. He started to take off his shoes, socks, and pants, and he was wearing girl panties, and he tied up his shirt into a crop top to look sexy.
Mario watched him as he did this, and he was so confused why he was getting half naked in front of him. Then, Peasley started to walk all sexily to Mario and looked at him like he wanted sex from him, and was licking his lips and everything. "Well hello there, Mr. sexy," said Peasley to Mario, "How did you squeeze your big penis into those tux pants? It looks so compact in there, why don't I take it out for you so it can run around and play inside of my butt hole?" Peasley put his hand on Mario's penis and started rubbing and squeezing it a lil bit.
Mario was so creeped out by Peasley's behavior, and he felt degraded and oppressed. He pushed Peasley off of his penis and started punching the shit out of him until his face was a big bloody puddle of blood and organs. "Get off of me! You're an asshole! what gives you the right to say those things?" And at that moment, Mario understood everything. He felt offended, and objectified, and all that other shit Peasley said. He felt so bad that he had said that stuff to Pauline to make her feel the way he felt. He never meant to be mean, but now he knew.
"Peasley! I get it now! I was being a sexist pig and not Respectful to Women! I understand how she feels now, and now I can treat her the right way! Thank you so much, and I will use what you've taught me to respect Pauline, along with every other woman, and use this knowledge to work towards a long and meaningful relationship with Pauline!" Mario, who was now excited and full of Respecting Women, left Peasley's room to further his education on being a good boy friend to Pauline and overall being less of an asshole.
Next was Luigis lesson, but Mario skipped him because he walked in on him while he was masterbaiting to one of the animes so he didn't wanna look at him for the rest of the week. SO, Mario went straight to the bathroom for Wario's lesson on sex tips. "Okay Mario, now that you know how to look good for women and how to talk to them right, it is time for your last lesson." said Wario. He smiled and looked at Mario, his best friend of many years. "Once you and Pauline start dating, that will be the time for you to show her your sex skills."
"I'm already good at sex, Wario," said Mario to Wario, his teacher for the evening, "I dont want to shit on your sex abilities, because I'm sure you're very good at giving sex to Captain Syrup, your girlfriend, but what could you teach me that I don't already know how to do with women's vaginas and boobs?" Wario laughed at this. "Mario, Mona gossiped to all the other girls, who are Daisy, Syrup, and Rosalina, and Syrup told me that, while you are not bad at sex, it gets boring very fast. I do not have that issue because I am the master of Sex, and, because you are my friend, I am willing to pass down my sex knowledge down to you."
"Wow, thanks! But how will you do this?" asked Mario. "I don't see any girls for you to have sex with in here." Wario knew this, but he smiled evily. "That is because I don't need one. Remember how you learned from Peasley by taking the role of the woman and learning from the woman's side? This is the perfect way to learn how to sex up women because, like in Peasley's lesson, you will learn what they like by experiencing it yourself." Wario chuckled and took off his pants, and his enormous penis plopped out and broke through the bathroom tiles as it hit the floor.
Mario was so surprised to see Wario's penis. It was probably the biggest penis he'd ever seen or heard about. It was very long, and super fat, like how Wario was the fattest person in all of highschool, his penis was probably the fattest in all of mankind's known penises. "Wait," Mario said, sounding nervous, "We are going to have sex? With each other? But wouldn't that be gay? And would you not be cheating on your girl friend, Captain Syrup?" But Wario shook his head. "It is not cheating or gay, because we are just doing this as a lesson to teach you how to have better sex with Pauline."
Mario looked down at Wario's fat sweaty penis, and then back at him. "Okay, Wario, I trust you. If this is what I have to do to learn better sex tips and keep my future relationship with Pauline fresh and exciting, then I will do it. I will have non-gay, non-cheating educational sex with you and your huge penis." Wario nodded and shook Mario's hand. "You are doing a very brave thing here, Mario. You have been a good student to everyone here today, and this will all pay off in the end. Thank you for trusting me to help you."
Mario took off the fancy suit Waluigi made him because he didn't want semen and other stuff to get on it. Wario also took off the rest of his clothes, and they were both as naked as each other with their penises out and ready. Mario's penis was decent, but it looked like a pinkie toe compared to Wario's bloated monster cock. Mario also noticed that Wario was even fatter than he looked with clothes on when he was naked, and he had really big boobies. They were kind of hot to Mario, in a way that was kind of gay but not really to Mario.
"Mario," Wario said to Mario, "I want you to lay down and spread your legs out so I can see your butt hole. Just pretend that your butthole is a vagina and that you are Pauline and I am you." Mario knew that would be hard because Wario was 10x fatter than Mario would ever be and also kind of ugly so it was hard to imagine himself being portrayed by Wario, but he did his best. Luckily he was blessed with a great mind. Pauline(Mario) spread her legs and revealed her vagina(butthole) to Mario(Wario). Mario(Wario) put his huge penis inside of Pauline(Mario)'s vagina(butthole).
"W-Wario," said Mario as Wario had sex with his buttgina, "Wow, you are so good at sex! I never would have guessed it!" Wario had really big and powerful sex to Mario. He knew all sorts of tricks that Mario had no idea about. For instance, Wario would do cartwheels while his penis was still in Mario's butt, which rotated Wario's penis inside of him. "Wow, I never would have thought to do something like that!" Mario learned many sex tips, because they did stuff like this together for several hours until it was time to go back home.
Wario and Mario were covered in so much semen and sweat, and they were breathing super hard like they had just run a sex marathon, which was true. Mario put on his normal clothes instead of the nice suit Waluigi made, and Wario also got dressed, and they all met in the living room. "Mario," said Peasley, "You have made such amazing progress! You have learned how to look Presentable in front of Women, how to Respect Women with Manners and Kind Words, and how to Pleasure a Woman in new and exciting ways that will keep your future relationships fun and exciting! I have no doubt that you will win Pauline's heart after all you have learned today."
"I couldn't have dont this without you guys, too, minus Luigi," said Mario to Peasley, Wario, and Waluigi, minus Luigi, "You guys put so much effort into teaching me all you know, and I want to thank you in the biggest way I can. You are truly great friends!" said Mario, greatfully, to his friends, minus Luigi. Peasley waved to Mario, Wario, Walugii, and Luigi, his boyfriend, even if he masterbated to asian books. They all went to their respective homes, Wario and Waluigi to one and Mario and Luigi to another, their house.
Mario laid in bed in his room and stared at the ceiling thinking about tomorrow. That would be the day he would try and make Pauline his girlfriend. It would be Wednesday, halfway through the week, and the dance was Saturday, and he had to make her his date by Friday or he would no longer be the most popular and would legally have to get wedgies by everyone. He knew he was better, but he was nervous that Pauline would still reject him and not forgive him for what he said before by not Respecting Women.
All he could do now was just go to sleep and then hope that his work pays off tomorrow during lunch.
When morning came, Mario woke up and instantly got super nervous and felt weird, like he was going to poop or throw up. He started getting ready, and actually put effort into his appearance like how Waluigi showed him before. He showered, and then he dried himself off and put on his suit and made it look nice and straightened and buttoned up. He put gel in his hair and fixed it up like how Waluigi said to do it, and he even put on the cologne that smelled like hippo ass. He looked very different than normal, but Mario hoped that would be a good thing to Pauline.
He and Luigi got onto his motorcycle, and he drove them to school. Since Mario took so long to get ready, they barely made it in time for school, and the bell rang 0.00000001 second before their butts hit their desk chairs, and their teacher got pissed at them and gave them detention. If that wasn't bad enough, all of his other football player classmates on his football team were laughing at him and his clothes. "Hey Mario, got a hot date? Except I know that's not true because Mona dumped you and Pauline rejected you! Ha ha!"
"Yeah, and your suit and hair is gay! What is up with that anyways?" The whole class and teacher laughed at that, and Mario felt so humiliated. He would be the laughing stalk of the football team now. He tried to remember that he was doing it for Pauline and he didn't care about what a bunch of fag ass douchebags thought about him, because if he could win Pauline's heart that would make him happy. The rest of the day went that way for Mario, with people gasping and not being able to breath because of Mario's anus perfume, and thinking he looked gay.
He was so relieved when he finally got to lunch, and he sat at the lunch table with Wario, Waluigi, Peasley, and Luigi. Mona, Daisy, Rosalina, and Syrup were over with Pauline at her table, because Rosalina and Syrup were pissed at Mario and his past Sexism, Mona hated Mario because he was a bad boyfriend, and Daisy wanted to be near Mona, her girl friend. "Guys, people won't stop making fun of me because of my clothes and how Pauline rejected me the other day. My confidence is at an all time low. I don't know if I can ask Pauline out anymore, I'm giving up!"
"Mario, you can't give up!" said Wario, "We all put so much effort into teaching you how to date women better by respecting them! You'll do fine." Wario was done talking, and Waluigi went next. "Yeah, and you better do it because if you give up that would mean we went thorugh all that hard work for nothing!" Luigi said this after Waluigi. "Mario, you're the coolest and most popular person in the whole school, and you're the best brother in the world! I believe in you and believe that you will do this and succeed!" but what does Luigi know about anything?
Mario looked behind him at the table where the girls were sitting and talking. Pauline looked so beautiful, and Mario really wanted to date her, but he was so doubtful that she would ever see him as worthy since he was such a cunt before. Then, Peasley took Mario's hand, in a non-gay and not cheating way to Luigi, and he said, "Mario, we will be right behind you and will support you either way it goes down. You have truly changed for the better this past week, and if Pauline can't see that you tried to be a better person for her, then surely another girl will. Do not worry!"
Peasley was pretty nice and smart for a big gay green faggot with girl hair. His words fully inspired him to not give up hope and to go through with the plan. Even if it didn't work, he would not let it get to him and make him kill himself like a gay coward. "You're right! I can't give up! I have to go talk to her, right now!" Mario stood up and looked so powerful and full of power. His friends and brother cheered him on as he walked away from the table to talk to Pauline.
At Pauline's table, they were talking about their vaginas(as girls do in high school) when Syrup looks over and sees Mario coming to the table. "Oh no, Mario's coming over. He probably wants to talk to Pauline." Everyone else saw too, and they all rolled their eyes except for Pauline. She was like, "Wow, Mario looks so different." But Mona said to her, "Pauline, don't be fooled. Remember how Mario talked to you last time, and how much of a bad boy friend he was to me? He disguised himself to fool you, don't fall for any of it even if his sex appeal has risen by 422 points!"
Mario got to the table, and he looked kind of sweaty and nervous. "Um, hi Pauline! And hi, everyone else, too." He saw Mona, and it got super awkward. She "hmph'd" and looked away, and Rosalina, Daisy, and Syrup looked bored, and Pauline looked confused but also curious. Pauline looked even prettier than he remembered from his memories. She was wearing her red dress and red make up, as usual, which also matched her red lunch. He was reminded of the joke Peasley told him to tell. "Wow, Pauline, no one told me were you a part of today's scheduled lunch?"
No one laughed, and that made Mario more nervous. "Mario, what are you doing here" Pauline said to Mario, "Do you want to make rude comments some more to me?" Mario was going to say something to her back, but he was interrupted by Mona. "She doesn't want to talk to you Mario, you sexist pig! Go Disrespect Women somewhere else, I won't let you treat Pauline like how you treated me!" Rosalina, Syrup, and Daisy all went like "Yeah!" and kept yelling at him. Mario looked at Mona and said this to defend himself:
"Mona, I know I wasn't the best boy friend to you becaise I did not Respect Women like how I should have previously. I know I didn't treat Pauline correctly when I asked her out the first time. But I came here because I wanted a second chance from her, and I wanted to show her how much I changed for her to accept me. My friends all taught me to do better, and I dressed up in these gay clothes because I thought it would impress her, even though it got me bullied all day. Everyone has been making fun of me, but I didn't care because I just wanted to make it up to Pauline."
"We don't wanna hear it, Mario! You are just lying to get into Pauline's pants, you are so predicable!" said Mona, "I dated you since Middle school and I know all of your tricks. You have not changed, and we will never let you near Pauline because she deserves better than some turd!" The girls kept yelling at Mario some more until he finally gave up and went back to his own lunch table. All the girls were laughing about how they slam dunked Mario, except for Pauline, who saw how said Mario got and got kinda sad too.
Wario, Waluigi, Peasley, and Luigi saw Mario, and they saw how sad he looked and they could tell that he failed. "So, I'm guessing it did not end well for you." said Waluigi, and Wario punched Waluigi so hard with his big fat arm that Waluigi disintegrated. Mario looked so defeated and drained of life, and everyone felt so bad for him. Even Waluigi, who was still mad at Mario for getting him grounded up the butt, couldn't bring himself to feel mad and him and felt sorry for him, especially after seeing all the work he did.
I'm sorry, Mario, but it's okay. We can help you find more girls to ask out for the dance," said Peasley to Mario, but Mario just said, "No thanks. I don't feel like going to the dance anymore anyways, and the girls have showed me that I don't deserve to love anyone because I'm a turd dick. This was a dumb idea, and it was dumb for me to think I could change." Mario stood up, but didn't look power full and confident like before. "I'm just gonna go home. Luigi, just have Peasley drive you home. You two will probably have sex in his car later anyways."
Mario left the table, and Wario, Waluigi, Peasley, and Luigi all watched as Mario walked off, looking so depressed like he was going to kill himself when he got home. Some guys from his football team laughed at him and threw food at him as he walked past their table. "Haha! Gay Mario can't get a girlfriend, who is Pauline!" The whole cafeteria was laughing so hard they immediately pooped out the food they had just eaten, and since it was so soon after they ate it it still looked like food when it came out.
Mario drove hom on his motorcycle, and when he got home he ran up to his room and cleaned himself off, and he washed all of the food and gel out of his hair and over his body. He got into his normal clothes and just laid in his bed and listened to sad music. He felt so dumb for thinking Pauline would ever like him, and he felt so humiliated after all the bullying he witnessed that day. He was surely the currently least popular student at high school, and, since he now did not have a date for the dance on Saturday, combined with the fact that he was now the laughing stalk of the whole school, people would be lining up to give him wedgies and punch him every day starting Monday next week.
Mario fell asleep, but many hours later, he woke up after he heard knocking at his door. His Papa was at work and Mama was out shopping for groceries, and Luigi and Peasley were having crowded car sex, so Mario wondered who it could be, unless it was another person from school wanting to make fun of him. He slowly got up, looking depressed and wanting to die, and went to answer the door. He opened it, and saw something that he never expected to see at his house ever in a million, million years. It was Pauline, the new girl at high school, standing at his door.
"Pauline?" said Mario to Pauline, surprised to see her at his front porch. "Why are you here? Are you here to tell me how horrible I am again..." but Pauline frowned at Mario and said to him, "No Mario, I'm not...I came to see if you were okay. After seeing how you were treated by my girl friends, and everyone else at school, I felt sorry for you. I wanted to make sure you didn't get so depressed you killed yourself." Mario was like "WOw, she cares?" but then he was like "Why would she care about me?" SO that's what Mario said.
"Why would you care if I killed myself? I thought you rejected me because I was a sexist pig who was Disrespectful to Women?" To answer, Pauline said, "Mario, it is true that you were horrible to me when we first met, but I saw how different you were during lunch, and after you left school early, your friends, Wario, Waluigi, Luigi, and Peasley all told me how you were sorry and changed just for me. And, to admit truthfully, I was touched. I'm willing to give you a second chance, so...If you'd like, I am willing to date you, and go to the dance with you on Saturday."
Mario could not believe what he was hearing. Pauline was willing to date him , and maybe be his girl friend! He was so excited because, on top of being able to date Pauline, people at school would like him again for being not a loser anymore. "Wow...Pauline, I'm so glad you finally find me worthy of love...thank you for giving me a second chance!" Mario and Pauline both hugged, and they were both excited to begin their relationship, and their penises and vaginas rubbed together as they hugged and forshadowed their future sex life.