I hate my life. Yeah, I know that it's not the best way to start a chapter. But that's the funny thing. I started the chapter exactly 3 hours ago, wrote 1000 words. Then I got distracted by the beat of the song and pressed 'Don't Save' instead of 'Save'. F.M.L. So here I go again.

Anyway, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for not updating sooner. I am only able to write on weekends because I have to study all the time. There maybe some mix up of story lines so you're free to write a review about the problems.

Something about this kiss felt so heavenly. It was as if never ending emotions and butterflies were coursing through their system. If heaven had a taste this is how they would want it to taste. Through this soft and passionate kiss they were exchanging their soul to each other for a moment. All the drama was lifted off to the air. The only thing they could feel was the softness of each other's lips and the flutter of their hearts. Unfortunately human beings can't respire without oxygen, so they had to pull back slowly, with the whisper of their lips still lingering.

Although the feeling was mutual, something was nagging Elena. Uncertainty? Insecurity? Fear? All of the above? 8 months were certainly a long time for things to not change. All the heartbreaks, all the regrets, all the plans before Damon showed up, can't just seem to go away just because every truth is out. Or maybe it was something bigger than that. Maybe it is the fact that there wasn't enough trust between them. If she trusted him enough that day and cleared out all the assumptions instead of running away this heartbreak could've been avoided. If he had trusted her enough to not believe a letter where she said she killed the baby. He should've known that she wouldn't ever do such thing. She can't blame him though. He'd been burn before. But a relationship cannot be built on the constant fear that the person you love has a trust issue. This goes to both sides. They were happy back then, they loved each other so passionately and they still do. But it felt wrong to go right back to where they left out.

Damon looked deep into her sepia eyes. He could see the storm going through them. He sensed that she wanted to say something, but couldn't find the right way to say it.

"Damon…" She shook her head and looked down at their joined hands.

"It's okay, Elena. You can tell me anything." Damon urged her.

"It's just… It's such a hard pill to swallow. It's just so complicated. 8 months is a long time for changing and making plans." Elena said.

"I know, Elena. You need time." Damon said holding her hands more tightly.

Elena pulled her hands out of his grip and his face immediately fell at their once joined hands. She chose to ignore it and started. "It's not just about time Damon. It's about how incomplete this relationship is. It's about how all this could've been avoided if we had enough trust on each other. Not everything is Katherine's fault. If I had trusted you I wouldn't have gone away. You could've found me sooner if you had trusted me instead of believing that I am not that heartless to kill a baby." Damon knew he made a huge mistake questioning such a lovable woman, and it was all coming back to him. "All these time I thought you didn't love me anymore that's why you didn't try. And I also didn't show up for the exact reason." She threw the paper away angrily before continuing. "We don't know each other as much as we think we do. We're not as strong as we think we are. Sometimes love isn't enough to go right back to where we were." She said shakily.

Throughout the entire speech Damon was silent with his head down. Everything she was saying was true but it didn't stop him from feeling the arrows right across his heart. "So what you mean to say is that you don't want what we had?" His head was still down afraid of the answer.

"Yes!" Elena said exasperatedly. Damon closed his eyes to let the pain down, before nodding and standing up. It was then Elena realized what she just said. "Wait Damon!" she called out. Damon momentarily stopped walking, but was still facing the door. "That's not what I meant." She cried out.

"No I get it, Elena. My love for you is not enough. You're right I'm a croaked man when it comes to trust and you can't have that. I made a huge, stupid mistake and I lost you. Over that, 8 months are indeed a long time." With that Damon walked out of the door, turning off his emotions just like he did 8 months ago.

Elena watched him walk away and it was one of the most painful sights to watch. Sobs broke through her body as she covered her face with her arms trying to stop the endless stream of tears. After a minute, which was actually felt like an hour, she felt someone stroking her back. She looked up to see Caroline giving her sympathetic look. "Let's go home, Elena."

Caroline led Elena outside the hospital where everyone was waiting. The moment they all saw Damon, it was crystal clear that things didn't go as planned. Both Stefan and Klaus went to talk to him, but he plain ignored their question and got baby Sarah out of Vicki's arm and started to cuddle her while looking at the sky. Everyone opted not bother him anymore.

Damon was now in the backseat with baby Sarah cooped up in his arm. Elena bit her lips to stop herself from crying. Caroline opened the door of the car for her to enter. At her presence Damon stifled a bit. Caroline then got into the passenger seat right beside Stefan. Nobody was speaking a single word. Damon was staring outside the window while stroking Sarah's back. Elena was also looking out the window but glancing at both Damon and Sarah from time to time. Caroline and Stefan glanced at the couple on the backseat through looking glasses, helpless as to what to do.

The whole journey to the house was as silent as the grave. Vicki, Klaus and Matt were right behind them carrying all their belongings. The atmosphere was very tense around them. The whole group was silent not knowing what to say to clear out this suffocating tension.

Once they entered the house, Vicki finally spoke up. "Um, Sarah's gonna sleep in the same room as Elena. So you need to go up the stairs to the first room on your left." She told Damon, who was still holding Sarah. He nodded before making his way to the room where Elena was for the past 8 months.

Unsurprisingly the whole room was so Elena-like. It had her unique strong smell lingering in the air. It was the same smell that covered the pillow he used to clutch. He shook his head to avoid the emotions and turned his attention towards Sarah. He saw that her yellow crib is situated on the right side of the bed with a butterfly crib mobile. He softly placed the sleeping angel on the soft baby mattress. He stroked her cheeks and saw his baby snore softly. For a moment he just forgot everything else except for the fact that how much he loved this tiny bundle.

With a smile on his lips, he turned to go downstairs but something on the bedside table caught his eyes. It was a picture of himself and Elena both smiling brightly at each other. They were so in love. He still loved her, maybe Elena did too, but it wasn't enough for her. So he left the room without glancing anywhere else.

As exited the room he came face to face with her, the gorgeous brunette. He saw her gulp and her eyes contacting with his. "Damon…we need to talk." Her doe eyes were begging for him to let her talk. He could sense she was nervous. Hell, he was even more nervous than her.

So in order to cover it up, he got into his stoic features. "What's there to talk about, Elena? I thought you made it clear back at the hospital."

"That's not what I meant and you know it." She said louder this time.

"Do I?" he asked with fire in his eyes that matched hers.

"YES Damon! You can't expect somebody who spent 8 months to map out her life without whom she thought her other half is and then for it to get all jumbled up when he suddenly whooshes back." She said frustrated.

"Now I am back, Elena. That 'plan' you're talking about is going to get jeopardized one way or another cause I'm not leaving my daughter. Stop blaming this on the 'plan' you've made. Just say that you don't love me anymore and get over with it." He said looking deep in her eyes for answers.

She shook her head as her eyes filled up. "Damon, you have to understand that I love you so much. But sometimes love is just not enough. We had all this problems for a reason, which involves us. I don't think I can face any more heartbreak because that reason remained unsolved. So I don't think it be a good idea to go back to how we were." She said pleading for him to understand like he did the first time they met.

Damon didn't know what to say anymore. He didn't even know what to understand anymore. All he knew was he was screaming in pain from inside. "So I guess this is it? Me being the father of Sarah and you being her mother. That'll be the only relationship we have?" No. Elena thought defeated. He didn't get the point and for some reason Elena didn't want prove it anymore. She didn't want to mess up his mind with her fucked up ones. But she can't let him go.

"I still need you in my life…as a friend." She stammered, as she was unsure of what she asking for.

"As friends right." His eyes were glistening with tears, which Elena failed to notice until now. She gasped and instantly felt his feelings to her core. "Right now, Elena, I don't want to see you anymore. I don't want to hear your voice, I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to look at you and I sure as hell don't want to be your friend. It's too damn hard." He said as he moved past her to proceed down the stairs leaving a silent woman with tears streaming down her face. She was cursing herself for being this selfish. For not telling him how much she wanted him back in her arms. For breaking his heart when he was even a bigger victim than she was. Most of all, for not telling him that all she wanted was a fresh start with him.

Damon should've seen this coming. What woman in her right mind would want some former drug addict and broken man? Especially if that woman is as beautiful, kind and passionate as Elena Gilbert. Maybe her beautiful heart wanted to fix the broken man he is. That's why she did all this. And now after being apart from him for months she realized how easy her life would be without him complicating it.

She deserved so much better than him. But he would die if he saw her with any man. He would probably neuter the man who would hold her if he's around her. He just loves her so much. And he had the privilege of experiencing that with this amazing human being who gave him an angel to look after. Their daughter.

But it was time for him to let go. Free her from his complicated fucked up life. Set her free, while he drowns in a bottle of bourbon.

Heartbreaking chapter? Yeah I know. Needed some angst to spice it up. To lighten up the mood, since I'm such a giving person, there's a one shot waiting for you to read it.

I first had the idea to make something dark and related to supernatural with smuts. But later after going with the plotline I felt like this one-shot has so many potentials. I mean, if I'm speaking as a third person I would really want to see a story like that. But maybe it's just me. So I actually want whoever read this note to go and check it out and say if they really want something more from that story. And then I can add more drama and darkness and twisted plotlines.

The reason why I'm doing this is because I don't want to start something without having that much inspiration. I am currently under the pressure of studies but I still try to find time to finish this fiction properly and not rushing into things. Anyway go check it out and tell me if you want to see a story.

Plus stay tuned for the next chapter, and don't forget to follow and favourite the story to get the recent updates.

The song used for the chapter is 'Stay' by Rihanna.