WOO! Chapter 10! Actually, not too long after this the end is coming. I still haven't quite come up with an ending, so there'll probably be 3 or 4 more chapters. I'm so proud I followed through on a story so long. I've been writing a lot of Heero/Quatre fics lately actually... Lol so maybe you can look forward to those after this, but def more Trowa/Quatre. I know this is a little short, but like I said, I'm trying to figure out how to work out the ending. Thank you to all my reviewers! I love you! You really make my day and encourage me to write more! Anyway... here's number 10!
The club left something to be desired. The music was fine, but it seemed only rich snobs were allowed inside. People were getting high in the bathrooms. Dorothy and Relena were having cocktails at a table by the bar, while Milliardo was sitting at the bar with his whiskey.
"Glad you could come," Dorothy said with an evil glint in her eyes. If he were not such a good man, Trowa probably would have hit her. He smiled coldly at her before pulling Quatre to the dance floor. He'd be damned if they spent one more minute with her staring at them that way tonight. They kind of fell into a rhythm as they listened to the music. Every time he saw Zechs he held Quatre tighter. Flashes of skin, whispers of words, paint, blood… He could see 'Milliardo' tugging down Quatre's pants in the hallway, excited that they could get caught as Quatre turned red and tried to hide himself.
"Milliardo! What if my father comes down this way? Or your sister?" Quatre whispered loudly. He leaned heavily on the small table, almost knocking the vase over. The older blonde just smirked at him while he unbuttoned Quatre's pants.
"Quatre… Why don't you worry about what's about to happen now, not what might happen later," Milliardo whispered, slipping his hand into Quatre's boxers. Quatre gasped.
"Milliardo, why are you doing this?" Quatre asked. His breath hitched and his eyes slid closed as the older boy stroked him.
"Because you're sexy… I've wanted to touch you for so long Quatre…" he whispered into Quatre's ear, sucking on the lobe.
"When did Zechs touch you Quatre?" Trowa asked, stopping them suddenly.
"Probably a few months before he met you," Quatre replied quizzically. Trowa looked over at the older blonde and held Quatre possessively. "Why are you asking that now?"
"I don't know…" Trowa replied. He just wanted to know. Maybe to see if he had really meant something to Zechs, or if Quatre had. Quatre nuzzled into his boyfriend but the contact was cut short by the clearing of another throat. Dorothy stood next to the couple smiling.
"Quatre, could I speak with you about the exhibit?" she asked. Trowa knew she was trying to separate them so Zechs could do something. Trowa let go of the blonde, who stared at him with worry.
"Trowa?" he whispered. Trowa half smiled at him and cupped his cheek.
"Meet me back at the apartment," he replied, before Dorothy dragged his lover away. He walked slowly and uncaring toward the bar, interrupting Zech almost as quickly as he started talking.
"Trowa, I-"
"We'll talk at my apartment," he said. Making sure Zechs was following he made his way to the door and had the limo drive them. He could feel Zechs' eyes on him which caused his skin to tingle and crawl at the same time. Trowa went straight to the kitchen to pour himself a drink, watching Zechs look at the watercolors he'd done of Quatre.
"You're still amazing," he whispered. Trowa went to the bedroom, waiting until Zechs entered to flick the light on. "You're actually painting?" he asked, regarding the canvases against the wall that he barely glanced at.
"There's something I want from you," Trowa said, undoing the buttons of his shirt.
"What are you doing?" Zechs asked, feeling the cold emotion emanating from the younger boy, the pure hatred directed at him.
"Come on Zechs, you always liked my body right? To look at it? To touch it?" Trowa questioned in mock seduction.
"It wasn't just your body Trowa," Zechs retorted.
"Then my naivety? Because I was innocent, like Quatre? Because I let you do whatever you wanted to me without a second thought? It was because you liked to be in control isn't it?" Trowa asked, sauntering toward the older blonde man.
"Trowa stop this! You know that isn't true," Zechs yelled, face contorting at the accusations. "I loved you!" he yelled. "I still love you!"
"Is that so? You wanna see what your love did to me Zechs?" Trowa snarled. He let his shirt fall off his shoulders so that he could see the scar. Zechs froze, his lungs refused to give him air. The only response he could fathom to the sight was to touch it. As his fingers traced over his chest, Trowa bit his lip hard, trying not to flinch away; to be strong and make sure Zechs got the full effect of what he had gone through. Zechs finally turned away, but Trowa grabbed him by the collar.
"Trowa, please," Zechs whispered, a sight almost worth pitying…
"This is what happened the last time I painted. Look what I've painted now!" Trowa snarled, shoving him toward the wall. "This is what I was to you, nothing more!" he yelled. "Your sex toy, to shame and use at your will. I was all too willing for your touch. Then you left and as my soul withered and died inside of me I cut myself open to kill the vessel that held it. As I painted what I thought would be my last, I smeared my blood on the canvas so that you would see how you destroyed me. And though you can't see that, you can see this one," Trowa said, referring to the two painting Zechs could see. He turned the third around and Zechs' mouth fell open. Tears were falling down his cheek and he fell to his knees. He was shaking and Trowa stayed strong and silent as he watched the man he'd loved fall apart before his eyes as he came to understand the torture Trowa had endured.
"I…" Zechs squeaked. He was unable to say much more. As he looked at Trowa, reaching out to him with bloody fingers, bleeding from the scar when it had been open. Blood was splattered on the floor and pooled down his body. Presumably, this is what he had looked like while finishing 'Of Despair.' "I wrote to you. I tried to find you at the exhibit in L.A." Trowa kneeled down and pressed a hard kiss against Zechs' lips.
"A kiss goodbye. I don't ever want to see you again," Trowa whispered, almost hearing the pieces of the blonde's heart shatter in his chest. He stood up and Zechs stood, nearly falling as moved closer to the brunette. He pulled him close and pressed a loving kiss to Trowa's lip, to which he received a smack in the face.
"I did the only thing I could to make up for it," Zechs said.
"Oh? What was that? Abandoning me? I never got any letters! You were able to sneak away to the exhibit, but never any time before that?" Trowa yelled, hitting him again. As he went to hit him a third time, Zechs grabbed his wrist.
"I gave you the only person who could ever truly understand you," Zechs said.
"What are you talking about?" Trowa growled, wrenching his hand free.
"When I found out about your show, I had them send Mr. Winner an invitation. He asked me to join him since Quatre was going away to school, so my father could not tell me no," Zech began. Trowa swallowed hard and shook his head. He started to feel sick.
"Don't tell me that," Trowa said, tearing in anger.
"I saw 'Of Despair' Trowa. I knew Mr. Winner would but it. I knew Quatre would search for you and I hoped he would find you. I knew the first time I saw you that it wouldn't last forever, but I selfishly held on to you anyway. When they took me away I saw it as a sign. I often thought if I'd introduced you to Quatre while we were together, you would end up falling for him instead, that you two would be better for each other. I think I was correct in assuming this. I just want you to know I've loved you for a long time, and it was never my intention for you to get hurt, or… hurt yourself because of me…" Zechs explained, touching the scar once again.
"So you tried Quatre out to see if he was gay then delivered him to me? How compassionate! Whatever you meant to happen with me obviously went awry Zechs! I hate you! What could you even hope to accomplish telling me you didn't intend to hurt me? This is your scar on my chest and in my soul, and your apologies will never make them heal!" Trowa yelled, finally crying.
"What happened with Quatre months before I met you. I had had a crush on him for a few years. I'm still attracted to him in all honesty. I just knew after what happened at his house that I wasn't what he was looking for so I let him alone. Nothing else has ever happened with him, or anyone since you Trowa. Why is it everything I do seems to hurt you?" Zechs asked, catching the boy as he collapsed in sobs.
"How dare you tell me these things! I was finally happy. I was finally forgetting you and you tell me you're responsible! I'm still a pawn in your twisted game," Trowa muttered.
"Quatre came to you out of his own will. I was sure he would, but I have nothing to do with what happened between you. If forgetting me will take the pain away then please forget me. I'll disappear and you'll never have to see me again. Let me just stay with you until Quatre gets back so you don't have to be alone," Zechs whispered.
"How can I forget you? How can I hate you with you here now? You shouldn't stay. I might hurt Quatre if you stay," Trowa whispered in shame. Being here in Zechs' arms, whispering words of love and apologies, it was like he was dreaming. If Zechs took advantage of the situation he wasn't sure he would be strong enough to resist the touch his body was screaming for. Much to his relief there was a knock on the door and Zechs went to answer the door. Dorothy stood there and handed him a box.
"Give this to Trowa. It'll solve all your problems," she said with a smirk. She left without another word and Zechs did as he was told with a confused look on his face.
"Dorothy brought this for you…" Zechs said, eyeing the box with suspicion. "She said it would solve everything… What did that mean? Where was Quatre?
"Dorothy?" Trowa whispered, opening the lid. He cried out and dropped the box as he started to sob again. Letters in open envelopes postmarked years ago scattered across the floor. They were all addressed to him from Zechs. There must have been close to 40 letters there. Zechs picked one up and stared at it.
"If they were sent… then why didn't you get them?" Zechs wondered out loud. "And how did Dorothy get them?"
"She tracked you down in L.A. because you had disappeared. When she found out you were dating a boy, on top of knowing what you did with me she had a breakdown. She told your father, and he had you brought home. She even told him to threaten you with Relena, because she knew it was the only thing you'd leave Trowa for. When she saw the letter for him in the mail she flew to L.A. and stole them out of the mail until she was sure you'd stopped writing them. She couldn't understand why she wasn't good enough for you to love, to marry, even if she acts cold and distant," Quatre explained from the doorframe.
"I knew she was scheming something," Trowa said.
"When she saw my name in the paper and how eager you were to come visit me, she thought you would make a move on me this time. When she saw Trowa, she was afraid she would lose you again. That is until she found out him and I were together. She had to take steps to make sure you suffered knowing what you had lost, but when she saw you two leave together, she knew she didn't have any chance at all. You would be willing to hurt me to have him back," Quatre continued. There were tears in his eyes.
"That's not true! I would never do anything to hurt you!" Zechs retorted.
"Come on… I've only been fooling myself thinking I could hold on to Trowa after he found out you loved him. I know he said he would never leave me for you, but I understand, really. It's better this way," Quatre said, nodding. Trowa stared at him, seeing him trying to stay strong.
"How long have you been standing there?" Zechs asked.
"Long enough to see that what happened between you two isn't dead and buried. And with this confession, how could I stand between you two?" Quatre asked.
"No," Trowa whispered, barely able to speak. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. His throat was getting tight.
"Don't you love him Milliardo? Don't you want him to be happy?" Quatre asked. "I do."
"I do love Trowa. I want him to be happy, but I've caused him so much suffering. I don't deserve a second chance. I could've tried so much harder! I could've-"
"Don't say such things. You did whatever you could. You suffered just like Trowa, and if you two are together again, neither of you will have to suffer anymore," Quatre said, a tear finally leaking from the corner of his eye.
"Stop!" Trowa rasped. Quatre looked over to him.
"Trowa, if you loved me more than him, you wouldn't have to be worried that you'd cheat on me. You love Zechs still, more than anyone in the world. I'm just glad that I helped you heal enough to find true happiness again," Quatre said. He walked over to the brunette and kissed him softly. "A goodbye kiss," he mused, forcing a pleasant smile through the pain. Trowa stood in shock, unable to say or do anything in response as Quatre walked toward the door.
"Are you going to abandon him too?" Zechs yelled. Quatre stopped. "Do you think telling him this is what's right and leaving him with me solves everything? Just because he's going to forgive me, doesn't mean he's going to jump back in my arms and declare his love. He will always love me Quatre, but it's the same as I'll always love you even when I knew we weren't right for each other," Zechs said.
"What?" Quatre asked.
"I knew from the moment I met you that we were wrong for each other, but still I wanted to be with you. I wanted you to be intoxicated with me like I was with you, but it just never happened. Even in the hallway, I could tell you yearned for the love I couldn't give. When I met Trowa, I knew it wouldn't last, but he fell for me the way I wished you would. I fell in love with him as well, but I always knew I was taking advantage of him. He was so blinded by love that he could not see that there was someone better for him that could understand him fully and love him completely. That's you Quatre," Zechs explained. Both boys had their eyes on him now, shocked even further by these new confessions.
"Zechs, regardless, you can't turn him away. He needs you," Quatre said.
"Fine then. I'll only take Trowa back if he can stand to do the same thing to you as I did to him," Zechs said. Both of them looked at Trowa who was staring at Quatre.
"I'm still standing here you know!" Trowa yelled, finally breaking his almost silence. "I can hear you! Who said either of you could decide what I do with my life?" he yelled, almost knocking Quatre over as he ran out of the room, the apartment, the building… He went for a long walk, wondering what he should do. He would go to Wufei, but he would probably just stab Zechs and watch him bleed to death.
This was really all Dorothy's fault…