Woo! New Chapter! Lol, so between going back to work after three weeks, an 8 month old who's cranky as hell because she's getting 3 teeth at the same time in different parts of her mouth and a whiny boyfriend who complains I'm on the computer too much I haven't been able to get much done... But I'm trying really hard to get this out there. It's the best feeling ever knowing how you guys like it. This chapter is kinda to kill some time I guess... I hope you're not disappointed, I was just trying to figure out what direction to take this in. The next chapter won't take too long I'm almost done with it. Keep reviewing, it keeps me motivated!
"So I know you're all curious about what happened. I wouldn't put it past some of you to throw a party just to ask," Sakura joked to her guests. Most of them started talking all at once, some saying it wasn't true, others offended by the accusation. "Hey; hey! It's ok. I'm ready to talk about it, as long as you can all promise not to gossip about it. I don't really want anyone to know," she announced. They'd all been talking and having fun for 2 or 3 hours and she knew what it was all leading up to.
"Believe me when I say that I'll make sure of that," Naruto threatened in a dangerous tone. Sakura explained the situation, leaving out what Itachi said about Orochimaru, and the tainted thing she'd told her superiors Itachi had said.
"…Sakura…" Ino whispered sympathetically. Other sympathetic apologies and expressions joined the blonde's before Sakura interrupted.
"Look guys… I don't want anyone to feel bad. I know I've upset my parents and there are consequences for my actions, but I have Kakashi, and he's been so kind. And Naruto of course, as my protector. And lastly, I've always wanted to have children; it's just happening a lot sooner than expected. I may not be proud of the circumstances but I'm happy… I hope that eventually Sasuke does find out and maybe he'll finally come back to Konoha, where he'll have family waiting for him. He'll have someone special to keep up his spirits once he's had his revenge…" Sakura said with that warm glow again. His family… she was a part of him now, even if he never returned.
"So what are you having?" Shikamaru asked.
"A girl."
"Have you thought of a name?" TenTen asked.
"Uchiha Mitsuki." A few of the boys stared at her.
"Uchiha? Not… Haruno? You're not married Sakura; you're not required to take his name," Neji said.
"It's only right if you think about it. She is Uchiha Itachi's daughter and she will have his bloodline trait. It's not like there's anything special associated with the name Haruno. Despite the actions taken by her father, I think she'll be proud of who she is once she grows up," Sakura stated.
"Don't you think you're taking this awfully well as a victim of rape?" Temari cut in. "Do you think having this baby will make Sasuke fall in love with you? What kind of reason is that to decide to have this child? What kind of life does that set before this kid?" Gaara grabbed her arm and jerked her toward him to stop her from continuing.
"Temari! That was rude and uncalled for, even for you," Kankuro said. Sakura could see Naruto's blood starting to boil.
"Tell me it's not ridiculous. Pining for a boy who obviously cares nothing for her or Naruto, who abandoned his village. Lusting for him so blindly that she can't see through a genjutsu?" Temari voiced in disgust.
"You can leave-" Naruto began, but Sakura stopped him. It was times like this she dreaded, but knew she'd have to face. It made it hard to lie, because she didn't want them to think badly of either brother, or of her…
"Let me say this… I never said I was raped; I said I was used. Because of my poor judgment, my crush as you refer to it, I was influenced to do something I'm not proud of. I ended up pregnant and was given a choice to get rid of Mitsuki. Tell me how I could have said yet, having given my body so willingly? And should I remind myself constantly of my mistake? How I was deceived and breed resentment toward my baby? What kind of life would that be for her?" Sakura questioned. Before anyone could speak Naruto did.
"Have you ever fought against Itachi?" he questioned in a growl. "No? You haven't? Oh, that's right, none of you have!" he yelled viciously. "Whatever preconception you have about him, from the Bingo Book or from ANBU missions or gossip around Konoha, you need to drop it. You think Sakura is stupid for not seeing through his illusion?" he scoffed.
"Naruto," Sakura said softly, knowing nothing she said right now would calm him down.
"No, you're the ones who are stupid! He's gotten so powerful he doesn't need you to look him in the eyes to cast an illusion. With a flick of his fingers, and who knows what else can capture you in an
illusion, and there's no defending against someone you can't look at! And Sakura, I know you belittle yourself for not seeing through him too, but how could you have? You know how ridiculous it is to try and convince yourself you should've known!" The group was taken aback by the blonde's harsh words. Never had any of them seen him like this, save for Sakura. A thick silence filled the room until Sakura cut it with more of the 'truth.'
"If you want the whole truth Temari… it's actually quite the opposite… If you think about it, it's pretty obvious, even Itachi said it before he left… 'Do you think Sasuke could accept you… now that his brother has tainted you?' So, me deciding to keep this baby has certainly guaranteed he will never return my feelings ne? If I acted out of my crush I would've let Tsunade kill Mitsuki so Sasuke could never find out," Sakura said distantly. She stood up and walked out of the room. She curled up in her bed.
"Sakura, I'm sorry I-" Naruto began from the doorway.
"I'm afraid the excitement has exhausted me Naruto. Guess it's just part of being pregnant," she said with a laugh before he could finish. She didn't want him to feel responsible.
"I can make them all leave. And if you want me to leave, I'll go. I don't want to have ruined your birthday," Naruto offered, feeling guilty once again. He lingered in the doorway.
"Us three and Kakashi were like a family weren't we? And we did everything we could for Sasuke… didn't we? But we couldn't stop him from leaving… How can he not see how he's becoming just like his brother? How could he be so blind to how he's being manipulated?" he said angrily.
"Why though, Naruto?" Sakura asked.
"No one knows why! No one can explain anything Itachi has ever done. Then he tells you it was fate? Because he was better than everyone else? Sasuke must have been the weakest in the clan so why not kill him with everyone else? Makes him look like a pretty bad liar," Naruto speculated aloud.
"Maybe there is still a purpose for Sasuke to serve. It only serves to frustrate us when we speculate endlessly about Itachi's intentions. It's better to just forget about it and wait for everything to reveal itself. Only time will give us answers," Sakura said.
"I guess you're right. Are you feeling better now?"
"Are you?" she asked with a laugh. "And no, I'm not angry," she added before he could ask. "Thanks for defending me again."
"Of course Sakura," he said smiling brightly. She smiled too. She joined him in the doorway.
"Thank you for always being so sweet Naruto. You're my best friend. Like you said, we're pretty much family," she said. Her smile faded as they drew upon a topic they hadn't confronted for years. "I'm sorry they love I have for you, isn't the love you desire…"
"You don't have to worry about me Sakura. I was thinking about maybe asking Hinata out. She's nice and I know she's got a crush on me. She turns red whenever I talk to her," Naruto responded with a grin.
"And faints," Sakura teased. She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek which made him go bright red. "You're always so sweet, even when it hurts you," she mused. She knew he was avoiding the subject so as not to upset her. They finally heard voices in the other room, and some arguing. Not a minute later Temari made her way down the hall toward Sakura's room. Naruto held his rage inside. Female or not, he'd kill her if she upset Sakura any more.
"Before you say anything else Temari, there's something else I need to say… For what it's worth, my feelings did start as a crush, but over time it has become love. I love him so much that more than taking responsibility for my actions, I want Mitsuki to bring him peace. I've given up hope that he'll love me in return, but if knowing he's not alone can end his decade of suffering I will be complete. All I wish is for his happiness; I dare not ask for anything in return," Sakura said before listening to what the Sand-nin had to say.
"Look Sakura… I'm not about to say this just because they told me to apologize. I'm under a lot of stress at home, and there are a lot of personal issues I'm dealing with as well. I didn't mean to take it out on you, you didn't deserve it. It's your birthday and we came because we wanted to see you. I… I'm worried that I might be in a similar situation, and a lot of what I said, is just disappointment in myself…" she said softly.
"What? You? You and Shikamaru?" Naruto speculated. Temari sighed and Sakura patted her bed summoning them in to sit with her.
"I mean… I admire him… I have strong feelings for him. It's been four years that we've been hiding our relationship. We… we fooled around a few times but it's like it doesn't even matter to him. He doesn't want anyone to know so they don't tease him about it. Plus Gaara and Kankuro might not be too keen on the idea of him and I sleeping together either. I just don't know how to tell him… because I'm not even sure how strong the feelings are on his end…" Temari admitted, letting her head hang down and her body slump forward in despair.
"I don't mind what you said, really. It just made me think about the things I try to keep out of my head. As far as Shikamaru goes, he's not the type to do something like that if he didn't feel anything. He's a responsible guy; he's just not the type to make the first move. That's definitely why he likes you so much; you take charge, you're strong, you're pretty. If you show him you're vulnerable underneath it all, just like everyone else, he might step up and be more affectionate. The one thing you should do, is tell your brothers the truth, otherwise it will cause distrust between the three of you," Sakura said. Naruto excused himself and pulled Shikamaru outside.
"What's wrong Naruto? I'm not usually the person you pull aside to talk with," Shikamaru asked, hands in his pockets.
"How do you feel about all this Shikamaru?" Naruto asked. He shrugged.
"I dunno… It's not like her to get worked up like that. I never thought she'd say something so cruel…" Shikamaru answered.
"Look, you don't have to pretend with me Shikamaru. You know I can keep a secret. What's going on between you two?" he asked flat out. Shikamaru furrowed his eyebrows.
"I've told you before-"
"No… Don't tell me there's nothing going on. Since Temari's been here you've been very tense and on edge. I know you need to talk it out. Or I guess you can just hide it and bury it until it clouds your judgment and plagues your every waking moment until you go mad," Naruto said dismissively. He shrugged which earned him an irritated sigh from Shikamaru. He guessed it wasn't worth lying to the blonde about. He knew just how annoying Naruto could be when he wanted information and he wasn't really ready to fight a battle of wits with someone like that.
"Look Naruto… You're right ok? I'm at the end of my chain here. I can't even tell Choji… I just can't talk about it… Women are just so…"
"Troublesome, I know. Just tell me. I'll keep it secret," Naruto promised. And that look in his eyes made Shikamaru believe him. He nodded and motioned for them to take a walk.
"Temari… she's amazing. I'm in love with her… Think about what that means though Naruto. She's the Kazekage's sister. I'm from Konoha. It's hard spending so much time away from her, and when we're together, we're always pretending we aren't so people don't start rumors. We don't get to spend much time alone, and a few times we… we fooled around. I've never felt guiltier in my life about having sex, because of what happened to Sakura. She's all alone, and what if Temari gets pregnant without us even being officially together? How would that make her feel inside? How do I know she'd even want to have kids with me?" Shikamaru ranted. He had been playing with something in his pocket the whole time and it was starting to irritate Naruto.
"What's in your pocket?" he asked. Shikamaru looked incredulously at the blonde.
"Have you been listening to me at all Naruto?" he asked with a smirk.
"Of course I have!" Naruto yelled. He watched as Shikamaru pulled a small object and closed it in his palm.
"I know it's the right thing to do… because I love her, but… I'm not sure how deeply she even cares… I mean she initiated the relationship so obviously she's interested in me, so I know I have a shot at her saying yes. But if I give her this, it would complicate everything… Where would we live? I couldn't just leave Konoha, and she can just leave Suna. And we can't live 3 days apart from each other. WE both have so many responsibilities…"
"You're serious? You're letting trivial things like that get in your way? You need to go in there and tell everyone how you feel about her first of all, so you don't have to hide anymore. It'll prove to her how serious you are about her. Then you need to tell her you love her, and see how she responds to that. Then you can get on one knee and give her that ring, and work it all out with Temari instead of the two of you suffering cuz you refuse to talk to each other about it," Naruto demanded. Shikamaru was taken aback by his advice. He was talking to Naruto though, and he really shouldn't have been surprised; Naruto did just dive right into everything he did. Maybe he came out a little worse for wear sometimes, but
Naruto never seemed to have any regrets about his life. Maybe the blonde was right. "Come on, you know I'm right! Let's get back there and share the good news with everyone ne?"
"Aa… I guess you have grown up after all Naruto," Shikamaru joked. He smiled and they headed back. Sakura and Temari were still in her room. Shikamaru took a deep breath and let it out. "I guess since you're all here, and secrets keep leaking out anyway, I might as well add to it," he said.
"What dark secrets could you have that I don't know about?" Choji joked.
"Well, I've been lying to you guys. No… We've been lying. Rather than explain it all, because that would be much too complicated, I'll just say it," Shikamaru replied. He moved to stand before Gaara and Kankuro. "I'm in love with your sister. We've been seeing each other since the Chunin exams," he admitted, waiting to receive a punch if they so desired to beat him. Kankuro looked shocked and turned quickly to Gaara who smirked.
"It's not like you hid it very well. I'm pretty perceptive Shikamaru. If I couldn't see through you, I most certainly could tell how my sister felt with how she looks at you. I'm glad you're finally man enough to admit it. You have my permission," Gaara said. Kankuro was totally dumbfounded. When? When had this happened? How could he have missed it? How long had Gaara known?
"Thank you," he replied, bowing to the Kazekage.
"I hope you're prepared to accept what being with her will entail," Gaara said cryptically. Shikamaru's heart skipped a beat. He wasn't sure if it was a threat, but it was the calmest threat ever if that was the case.
"Could you, Naruto?" Shikamaru requested. Naruto nodded and brought both girls back to the living room.
"Shikamaru is ready to accept responsibility for you," Gaara stated. Temari almost fell backwards.
"W-W-What?" she stammered.
"I have to ask you something… because we've been together almost 4 years and… I need to know how you feel about me; about us," he said, trying to keep from blushing. How embarrassing to have to do this in front of all their friends. It didn't matter though, if it made her happy not to hide their relationship.
"I… I… Shikamaru? What are you doing?" Temari asked in shock. Sakura gave Shikamaru a wink and a thumbs up behind her, to indicate he had nothing to worry about. Once Gaara had spoken, Sakura knew that he knew about them, and quite possibly about the baby.
"I don't want to hide anymore… I… I want everyone to know. Temari, I… I love you. And I've been fighting with myself about all these little things, like how we could stay together when we both have so many responsibilities in our home towns. Or how scared you would be if we kept this a secret and you ended up pregnant. We've avoiding talking about our feelings for too long, and now that you know," he rambled, coming closer to her. He got on one knee and took her hand. He took the ring out of his pocket and couldn't look at her as he put it on. He turned red knowing how everyone was staring at him. "Will you marry me?" he asked. Temari was frozen with her mouth agape. There was no way this was happening… She jumped as she felt Gaara's hand on her shoulder.
"He's waiting for your answer. I'd say it would be best for our new addition, if you accepted," he whispered with a smug smile.
"You knew?" she asked.
"Have you ever been able to hide anything from me?" he asked. He looked down at Shikamaru and Temari followed his gaze. She snapped out of it and instead of answering him she told him something else.
"I'm pregnant," she blurted out. Shikamaru jerked his gaze to her, swallowing hard. Seems they both had their little secrets… What a night.
"Is that a yes?" he asked with a laugh. She laughed too, nodding as tears flooded her eyes. "I'm sorry it wasn't really romantic… please don't cry Temari," he said standing up. He wiped her tears away and kissed her. "It's kind of perfect timing ne?"
"I think there's a lot we need to talk about," she answered. He motioned to the door so they too could take a walk.
"Sorry to be leaving so early Sakura," Shikamaru apologized.
"It seems secrets can't stay hidden forever ne? Talk about perfect timing, huh Naruto?" Temari said. He smiled that bright smile and scratched his head.
"I do what I can," he said. The couple wished Sakura a Happy Birthday and left. All of them gossiped about what had just happened while eating cake and opening presents. While joking around Sakura noticed Gaara was staring at her. Feeling uncomfortable see excused herself and went outside to get some air. She sighed and then jumped when she noticed Gaara had followed her.
"Sakura?" he inquired.
"Yes Gaara?" she asked.
"Does anyone else know what you're hiding?" Sakura tensed.
"Well just that I'm pregnant. Only Kakashi, Tsunade, Shizune and maybe my parents know the truth. Konoha doesn't know," she answered.
"So then really, only 2 people know the truth," he said, almost accusingly.
"Excuse me?" she asked, dumbfounded. His lips twitched into a smirk.
"You're lying Sakura. I don't know why, but you're very good. I almost didn't pick it up… No one else has questioned your story then," Gaara said.
"Why would I lie?" she asked.
"Well I know why you're lying, but I can't figure out why you're protecting him," he said quietly. Sakura's eyes betrayed her. It seemed futile to lie, but she also couldn't reveal the truth either. "It's why you're really not as upset as one should be after such an ordeal. It may be true that you laid with him willingly, but it was always Itachi, not Sasuke."
"How could you know?" she asked with a withered smile.
"I almost missed it, but like I told Shikamaru, I'm very perceptive. I can read people. Your reasons for having the baby are the truth, I know this for sure. I know you're not the type to just sleep with a stranger either Sakura. So you obviously placed a lot of trust in the Uchiha, which begs the question, why? Or perhaps there's more to Itachi's story then we know? I figured if I confronted you, you might be able to trust me to talk to, if you needed it," he offered.
"There will come a time I can reveal the truth, but for now it must remain the secret it is. You have to understand," she replied. The redhead nodded.
"I'm here if you need to talk Sakura. I would keep it confidential. I imagined it would be easier to talk with someone you didn't see often."
"You're right. It would be hard to tell someone in Konoha. They would pester me constantly about it," she mused. Gaara laughed.
"Something I would never and obviously could not do."
"Thank you for being a friend. I appreciate it." Gaara was a little shocked when she hugged him.
"It's a hard thing to have so many people care about you, and need to hide yourself as you're among them. I hope you will be alright Sakura," Gaara imparted.
"I'm stronger than I thought I was; more than anyone else could imagine I am," she assured him. They rejoined the group and talked for a while before they ended the night. Neji, Lee, and TenTen had a mission early, and Gaara and Kankuro had to make their way back to their hotel so they could leave early for Suna. That left Ino, Choji, Shino, Kiba, and Hinata to help clean up and organize. Sakura had to promise to have a girl's night out with the other 3 girls before Ino left with Choji. Shino and Kiba took out some trash and Hinata waited outside while Naruto got the last bag. He had asked her to wait so he could walk her home.
"Sakura?" Naruto asked. She turned around to face him. He threw the garbage bag over his shoulder but he hesitated.
"What is it?" she asked.
"I… No… I shouldn't say it. Never mind," he replied, changing his mind.
"No, it's ok," she assured him.
"Do you think… Do you think if Sasuke hadn't been on our team, that I would've had a chance?" he asked, ashamed he had brought it up after Sakura had told him he was sweet for not talking about it. She was smiling at him though… She knew he was searching for closure between them so he could be with Hinata.
"Not at first, no… But as time went on, and I got to see what a great person you were, I think I may have been able to give you my heart. As it currently stands, I may just grow to be an old maid, saving my heart for Sasuke… I fear when he finds out all there is to know about Itachi, he will not forgive me," she admitted.
"Don't blame yourself for that Sakura, please. I worry about you when you're alone here."
"Don't. I'm fine, really. Kakashi will be back in a few days. When he gets back we should all spend some time together. I asked him to be my partner in the delivery room you know," she said.
"Ha! Really? What did he say?" Naruto asked with a chuckle.
"Yes of course. He just said to be patient with him, he wasn't experienced in this area," she answered, chuckling as well. Naruto dropped the bag of garbage and gave her a hug.
"Thank you for being honest," he whispered. Then he smiled that huge bright smile and looked toward the door. "Hinata's waiting. Come by my place if you start feeling lonely or depressed, ok?"
"If you're home!" she teased. "I will, I promise. You go have some fun," she teased again. He picked up the garbage bag and she let him out. She smiled at Hinata who blushed. She waved goodbye and locked the door behind them. Suddenly she felt so alone. No sooner did she think it, did she feel someone's presence in the house. "Kakashi, I thought you were going to be gone a few days," she said walking into the living room. She collapsed when she saw who was really standing there. She closed her eyes, because she had to be dreaming. There was absolutely no way he was here. When she opened her eyes however, there he was. "S-S-S-Sasuke?" she stammered.