So let me start yet again by apologizing for the wait. I'm still not used to my new work schedule. I'm doing the 3-11:30 shift, and I've just been so exhausted and drained that I pass out as soon as I get in my room. I haven't even gotten on the computer for 2 weeks! Thank you to my loyal fans I love you! I might end up adding more than I thought. I forgot that I have a few loose ends to be tied up. I might've said that in a previous chapter, but I can't recall. I'm on the virge of passing out now actually, so I guess I can only hope you'll like this chapter. Next chapter will have lemony goodness So that's something to look forward to. Anyway, rambling again, on with the fic!

"Trowa?" he called out. He looked around and frowned. He thought Trowa would have at least waited until he woke up to leave. He yawned and stretched, trudging out to the kitchen. Hilde, Duo, Heero and Trowa sat there. An assortment of breakfast foods and tea were set up on the table. Quatre smiled.

"You didn't think I'd just leave did you?" Trowa asked. Quatre blushed as Trowa stood and moved over to him. "I love you Quatre, forever," he promised, wrapping his arms around Quatre's waist as he kissed him. Quatre put his arms around Trowa's neck and returned the kiss.

"So did you make breakfast?" Quatre asked.

"Not a chance. If it's not an oven, microwave, or toaster I won't go near it. That is why I order out so much," Trowa answered.

"Heero did the honor of blessing us with his cooking," Duo gloated, draping an arm around his lover.

"Come on Quatre! Sit and eat! We're starving!" Hilde joked. As they sat down to eat they mulled over various small talk; weather, plans for the week, what they thought they might eat for dinner… Things got a little tense then, seeing as how Trowa wasn't going to be there… As dinner approached Quatre stood in the doorway while Trowa changed.

"So you're going now?" he asked, unable to hide his frown. Trowa finished buttoning his shirt and tilted Quatre's chin upward for a kiss.

"Please don't think about it. I'll be back tonight but don't wait up. There are a lot of things I have to talk about with him. I love you Quatre," Trowa whispered, kissing him again. Quatre forced a smile and let Trowa leave, sitting dejectedly in the living room with a book. How could he not think of it? It wasn't what he was going to do; it was the fear that somehow Zechs would persuade him to choose differently…

"I wasn't expecting to see you," Zechs said as he opened the door to his hotel room.

"Don't get your hopes up too high. I've come to tell you I've made my decision," Trowa explained as he entered the room. Zechs shut the door and sat on his bed, expectant. "I chose Quatre," he said. Zechs nodded, as if he'd known all along. "But I read your letters… and… I think you deserve tonight, we deserve tonight as closure for what happened between us…"

"What does that mean exactly?" Zechs asked.

"It means… tonight will be like nothing ever separated us, but in the morning I'm going back to Quatre," Trowa answered, moving closer to the blonde. "I want to lose myself in you tonight," he whispered, standing between his legs.

"Are you sure? Does Quatre know about this?" Zechs asked.

"Yes, to both. I want everything resolved tonight. I…" Trowa began, but stopped.

"I love you Trowa," Zechs said, running his fingers up Trowa's side under his shirts.

"I love you Zechs," Trowa whispered in reply. Zechs maneuvered him on to the bed and straddled him.

"I've missed you. I've been dreaming of you. I've been wishing for this moment for so long," Zechs said softly as he undid the buttons on Trowa's shirt. He almost thought he would wake up and laugh at himself for having such a dream. He kissed down Trowa's jaw line and down his neck eliciting a breathy moan before he stopped. Trowa sat up and looked at him, shirt falling off his shoulders.

"Why did you stop?" Trowa asked.

"Are you doing this to torture me?" Zechs asked. Trowa gave him an incredulous look in reply, looking hurt at the accusation.

"I would never-"

"This doesn't feel wrong to you? You've got Quatre sitting at home while you're here doing this?" Zechs interrupted. Trowa's mouth fell slightly open and took offense to what Zechs was saying.

"I talked with Quatre already. I wanted to give you the closure that he had wanted from me when he thought I would come back to you. I did this so that you wouldn't suffer anymore," Trowa said falling back on the bed. He sighed heavily.

"This… it's what hurt you in the first place. I never told you I loved you and you felt used because of our sexual relationship," Zechs began.

"Why can't I ever make the right choice? I'm always making someone unhappy," Trowa began, getting off the bed completely. He raked his fingers through his hair as he tried to stay composed.

"Trowa, maybe tonight we could do something different," Zechs proposed. Trowa looked angrily in his direction. Zechs stood up and wrapped his arms around the boy from behind. "Please don't be mad. I just don't want to hurt you anymore. I don't want you to remember me as this scar," he whispered, tracing it with his finger. Trowa relaxed into the hold and let his head fall back against Zechs' shoulder.

"What do you want to do then?" Trowa asked.

Quatre sat in the shower under water that had gone cold who knows how long ago. How long had he been sitting in the shower anyway? He got tired of looking out the window. He felt he was invading Heero and Duo's private time. Hilde was working on something for school. Dorothy and Relena weren't going to help. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep tonight, and he couldn't eat. He could see it now…

"I'm really sorry Quatre, I hope you understand. Something just clicked last night with Zechs, something I thought was severed a long time ago. I love you. I swear that I do. I just think Zechs deserves another chance. I hope we keep in touch. Thank you for everything you've done," Trowa would say.

He would grab some of his things from Quatre's apartment and then promise to see him tomorrow. Then Quatre would go to the roof and jump off the building… Well probably not, he didn't think he was capable of taking his own life. It didn't matter. If Trowa left him after what he had said, he'd be better use dead than alive. He shut the water off and mulled around the apartment, cleaning things up. He tapped his fingers nervously on the table and felt his heart racing. It was almost 3 am and Trowa still hadn't come back. He buried his face in his hands and started to sob.

Maybe he could cut just a little bit? He wouldn't die; he would just bleed a little. He would see what Trowa felt when he had done it… As he opened the utensil drawer his hands shook. He slammed the drawer shut and screamed.

"How could I even think of doing something like that? What am I thinking? I feel like I'm going crazy!" he yelled to the emptiness around him. Quatre curled up in bed with one of Trowa's shirt and tried to fall asleep. Eventually he passed out, when the sun was coming up through the window.

"Morning," Trowa whispered, brushing the hair out of Quatre's face. Quatre stirred, opening his eyes to see Trowa was in bed with him. "You were crying," he whispered, running his fingertips over Quatre's eyelids. "You thought I wasn't going to come back?" he asked, hurt resonating from the words. Quatre's eyes filled with tears again and his lip quivered as he spoke.

"I thought that if you went to him, you would miss him. That you would want everything to be like it was. What can I offer you that he can't ten times over?" Quatre whimpered.

"Oh Quatre," Trowa murmured, pulling him into his arms. "Why didn't you say something if you weren't alright with it?" he asked, squeezing the blonde even tighter.

"I wanted you to be happy. That's all I ever wanted," Quatre answered.

"I don't want you to forsake your own happiness for me Quatre. Don't you think I want the same thing? I love you Quatre, or didn't you believe me when I said it?" Trowa asked, looking into his eyes.

"I believed you! I… It just got so late and you still weren't home. I got so worried," Quatre explained.

"I'm sorry about that. I thought you'd be sleeping anyway. Zechs didn't want closure in the way I thought he would."

"What were you doing then?"

"He just held me all night and we talked. We talked about a lot of things, mostly about you actually. We ate dinner. While we were lying down we both ended up falling asleep. I came back here as soon as I woke up."

"Then I worried for no reason?"

"I told you that already. Zechs was sure you'd be at home worrying, I guess he was right…"

"Don't feel bad Trowa. Let's just forget about it. You're here now, and you'll always be here. That's all that matters now." Quatre kissed Trowa to keep him from objecting. Trowa pulled the boy on top of him, letting his fingers slip inside the elastic of Quatre's boxers. Quatre jerked upward, turning bright red. "Trowa!" he said less out reprimand and more out of embarrassment.

"Don't you want to?" Trowa asked. Quatre bit his bottom lip. Trowa sat up, arms hanging loosely around Quatre's waist, and began to nibble at Quatre's neck.

"Well I, oh…" Quatre moaned. That spot on his neck, just under his jaw… "How did you… ah…"

"I learned a thing or two about you last night," Trowa whispered. Quatre blushed furiously. "I want to make love to you Quatre, and I want you to only think of me. I don't want there to be any doubt in your mind that I'm always going to be here. I want to drive you crazy with pleasure so you know how sexy you are, and how much I love you. I want you to be mine; completely and totally mine in body and soul. Won't you let me do that?"