Chapter Eleven
What have I done?
The punch to the face Sans got as soon as Papyrus got home was well deserved. Sans didn't say anything. He just stood there and took it.
"Go back to her now. I'm scared for her", Papyrus said in a very serious voice, "She wouldn't even speak to me after you left. She just numbly left. I'm glad she doesn't have depression or something. If she did she would probably be doing something both of us wouldn't like."
Sans' eyes widened and he looked terrified. He had this really bad feeling that she was about to make a horrible decision that could potentially end her life.
"Paps, I think she does. Remember anime night?" Sans voice became very low and serious.
"Oh…"
Sans vanished before Papyrus' eyes. He found himself landing in something wet and sticky. He stared down to see Shadow surrounded in a pool of her own blood. He panicked and flung her soul out of her chest. It was slowly shattering in front of his eyes. It still had a small glow though, she was still alive, just barely. He grabbed her soul and started healing it, the shattered pieces slowly came back together. Even the huge crack that had start to split her heart down the middle was healed. He's sure that her trying to kill herself was his fault. It hurt him that he did this to her. It hurt him that he broke her to the point where she'd just give up on live. After he finished healing her he picked her up and held her. Sitting on the blood covered floor he held Shadow as tightly as he could to his chest. He slowly started falling asleep from all the magic he was using. Healing an almost dead person was more draining than he thought.
Shadow opened her eyes to the morning light coming through the window. She felt a pair of warm arms around her body. She also felt very sticky and gross. She looked around and found Sans' sleeping face. Her eyes widen as she remembered last night's events. She practically flew out of his arms and stared at him with utter pain and sadness in her eyes. Worse of all she was covered in her own blood, and her sticky drying blood was still on the floor. It didn't take her long to realize that Sans healed her. Sans' eyes flew open after she threw herself out of his arms. He stared at the blood soaked girl with his own sadness. Shadow could feel it radiating off of him.
"I didn't mean to react so poorly." Sans started to explain, "Most of my students have played it and always assumed who I was. I've ran into so many fangirls that want to fuck me it's not even funny. So hearing that you, someone I actually liked, played the game and liked my character most, it made me think that you were just like the rest of them. So I snapped at you. I never wanted you to hurt yourself because of me, let alone kill yourself. Shadow, I really care about you, so please forgive me, and don't ever do this again."
She could see the sincerity in his eyes. Shadow was quiet for a moment but soon she spoke up, "You were my first friend in a long time Sans. Having you treat me like dirt literally killed me! I almost died because I got hurt so badly by you. I'm not saying this is your fault, but you didn't help my depression and how meaningless my life is. I mean I haven't had anyone actually care about me in years."
Shadow laughed a little, her voice sounding broken, "To think you care, that you would miss me if I died after last night. My life doesn't fucking matter Sans! I'm nothing, I'm no one, I'm not your hero, I'm a depressed girl that just wanted to die!"
Sans was quiet for a time as he thought this over. Soon though he figured words weren't needed right now, instead he walked over to her. He knelt to the ground and pulled her into him. After a little while she put her arms back around him.
"You are our hero, Shad your soul is a soul that can change hearts and minds. Only someone like you could set us free. I'm so sorry Shad. I'd miss you alot if you died, and if I was late I'd blame myself forever. Please, don't ever do that again. Everyone would be devastated. I know someone that can help you. Let me get you some help. Okay? I'm so sorry about last night. I didn't mean to treat you like I did. I'm so sorry Shad. I made a huge mistake and I hope you can forgive me." Sans apologized over and over, he couldn't seem to tell her sorry enough. Shadow could feel the state he was in. He was drowning with guilt and worry.
"I-I forgive you Sans… And I'll get help if that's what you think I need." Shadow snuggled close to him and the two sat like that for a while basking in each others warmth. Both of them actually managed to ignore the smell of blood in the small apartment and the stickiness of it.
They were broken out of the moment by banging on the door. "SANS! SHADOW! ARE YOU GUYS OKAY?"
Sans spoke up for Shadow, "Were okay bro! I saved Shadow from a rather huge mistake."
"I'M GLAD YOU'RE BOTH OKAY! CAN I COME IN?" Papyrus yelled through the door.
"Uhhh", Shadow looked around her apartment, the area they were sitting had a pool of blood around them that was slowly drying and their clothes were covered in blood, "No yet Papyrus, I need to clean up and shower. I think Sans needs to as well. Could you actually grab him a change of clothes then come back?"
"OKAY HUMAN! I'LL BE BACK IN A JIFFY!" Papyrus called out, his stomping could be heard as he ran off.
"We need to clean now!" Shadow ran for some cleaner and scrambled back. She started scrubbing the floor.
After a few minutes of watching her SAns touched her shoulder, "Go wash your clothes and shower. I'll clean this up for you."
Shadow nodded at him and ran off to change. He heard the slam of the washer lid then the sound of water running. Sans started working on cleaning the blood soaked tile in the apartment. This was harder than he thought. It kept getting worse and worse. Once he thought that he completely ruined the floor it finally started getting better. After many wipes and paper towels, and an entire bottle of bleach he was staring at a nice and clean shiny floor.
Shadow ran out of the bathroom decked out in a towel and ran into her room. Sans decided to pretend that he didn't see that, best for Shadows sanity. After thirty minutes she was back out and Sans was looking at his blood covered clothes.
"Can I wash these?"
"Ummm", Shadow bit her thumb nail trying to think, "How about you go shower and leave those outside the door so I can wash them?"
Sans nodded at the idea and went to shower. After a few minutes Shadow collected his clothes and threw them in the washer. Soon after that the doorbell rang followed by the loud call of Papyrus.
"I HAVE BROUGHT SANS SOME CLOTHES, MAY I COME IN NOW SHADDY?"
Shadow frantically looked around for anymore blood on anything, seeing that it was all clear she opened the door to let him in.
"Hi Papyrus"
"ARE YOU OKAY SHADDY?"
"Yes, Sans stopped me from making a mistake. I'm okay now though." Shadow sighed a little.
"OKAY THEN, I HAVE SANS' CLOTHES RIGHT HERE", he held up a bag, "SO WHERE SHOULD I PUT THEM?"
Shadow pointed to the bathroom, "Just outside the bathroom door will do."
Papyrus nodded and placed the items there and yelled to Sans that the clothes were waiting for him outside.
"SO WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?"
Shadow wasn't sure how to respond to this little innocent marshmallow. How does she tell someone like him she tried to kill herself and Sans saved her in the nick of time? Shadow took in a deep breath, "Sans saved my life. I made a grave error and he pulled me back from it."
Papyrus nodded thoughtfully and didn't push the subject matter any further. He could figure out what she meant.
Sans came out of the shower, he was shirtless and had a towel around his neck. Shadow's face turned bright red as she tried to process what she was seeing. If she was an anime character her nose would be bleeding right now. He had abs, the punny snow haired man had fucking abs and Shadow wasn't sure how he got them. She couldn't seem to stop staring. Papyrus was entirely oblivious to what was happening. Sans on the other hand raised an eyebrow at the girl before continuing to sit down across from her. He leaned back in the armchair which gave Shadow an amazing view. She was pretty sure he was teasing her.
"A picture lasts longer", Sans purred at her.
Shadow swallowed loudly and held on to her pride and ripped her gaze away from Sans' perfect body and decided not to grac e that with a response. "So… Today is Sunday. I have homework to do, mind leaving me to it?"
Sans laughed a sarcastic laugh for a moment, "Like hell we're going to leave you alone after last night. We're gonna keep watch on you for awhile."
"I have things I need to do though." Shadow huffed at him.
"Well you can do them with us here", Sans retorted.
Shadow sighed in defeat and went to grab her laptop, "Fine."
She sat down and opened her laptop and started typing. Sans got up and put on the rest of his clothes while Papyrus got up and stared over Shadow's shoulder. Soon after Sans got his clothes on he joined Papyrus and they both watched Shadow do her homework. It seemed to be something on sceneries in video games. She was quickly drawing out something to submit for the assignment. The two didn't realize she was that good at drawing. Her sceneries looked like things in a fantasy world. She drew a lush meadow with a large white tree. The tree had golden leafs and golden apples. Glancing at the prompt for her homework they saw it said, 'Godly Realm'. It was perfectly fitting, simple but beautiful. The two watched her in silence. They didn't even realize time went by. It was probably a few hours till she finished her homework.
Shadow let out a contented sigh as she finished her drawing and submitted it. She closed her laptop and jumped, "Oh my god! How long have you guys been standing there?!"
"OH, WE'VE BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME SHADDY! I DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE SO AMAZING AT DRAWING!"
Shadow's face turned red and she looked to Sans only for him to nod in agreement to what Papyrus said.
"Oh, no not really." Shadow managed to squeak out.
Sans smirked at her and took the opportunity to mess with her a little, "Doll, you draw so amazing it takes my breath away."
Shadow flushed red and changed the subject trying to avoid further embarrassment. "So, can you guys go now? It's already nine and I work tomorrow. I don't mean to kick you out but I need my rest."
"Let me stay the night." Sans said with a serious tone, "I need to make sure you stay safe."
Shadow sighed but nodded, "Paps can you go home though?"
"OF COURSE SHADDY! I'LL BE A PHONE CALL AWAY IF YOU NEED ANYTHING!", Papyrus said handing Shadow a paper with his phone number. She quickly put it in her phone and walked him to the door.
"How about I eat dinner with you guys tomorrow? Okay?"
"OH THAT SOUNDS GREAT! UNDYNE JUST TAUGHT ME HOW TO MAKE PASTA WITH WHITE SAUCE. I HEARD YOU REALLY ENJOY IT!"
"Yes I do Pappy, thank you. I'll see you tomorrow night." Shadow shut the door and turned to Sans.
"You can sleep on the couch if you like."
"I would prefer to be in the same room as you. I don't want anymore cutting incidents."
"High School." Shadow said, looking him in the eye.
"What?" Sans looked terribly confused.
"That was my last suicide attempt, the last time I cut. The last time I did anything like that. My mom killed herself out of grief after my dad got in a car accident and died. After they both died I tried to die too. I just wanted to be with them. I lived though, people looked down on me for what I had done. I could feel their hate. It was so strong. I cut people out. Moved here, got a job. I had no one care about me so I didn't care about myself either. But I met you, and everyone. I cared again, I love you guys. You all are my world. Without that, I can't keep living. My life was so empty, then you walked in." Shadow was starting to cry a little, her voice was shaking as she tried to compose herself.
Sans was speechless. He never thought Shadow was this depressed, and this alone in the world. "Do you have any other family?"
"Not any that would care about me." Shadow choked out.
Sans walked up to Shadow and held her close to him, "Shhhh, we care about you. Okay? We'll take care of you, watch over you. I think I know someone you'd like to meet. She's like a mother to our whole little group. She almost lost one of her kids, it was the human girl they adopted. However, she lived, but she tends to get sick easily. Anyway, we're your family now."
Shadow nodded into his shirt. Her tears getting his new shirt all wet. He gently rubbed her back, "Want to move in with Paps and I? He'd really love it, and I want you to feel loved. Be part of our family."
Shadow started sobbing louder, "I can't put this burden on you. I'm not worth loving."
"Let me try to prove you wrong."
"How much is rent?"
"Cheaper than this place. You won't get your own room though, you'll either sleep on the couch or share."
"Who would I share with?"
"Me?"
"Well I uh don't know", Shadow turned red, she looked at him. Her eyes were all puffy and her face was a scarlet red.
"You'll have your own bed", Sans said to her.
"I'll take the couch…"
"So you'll move in with us Shad?"
"If you think that's for the best", Shadow replied nervously playing with her hair.
"After dinner I'll introduce you to Toriel, or we can ask her to have us over for dinner." Sans said.
"I'd like that. Um… Hey Sans?"
"Yes?"
"Remember how you asked me on a date?"
Sans flushed blue, "...Yes I do."
"Can we go on one soon?"
"Let me sleep with you and we can go this Saturday."
"Excuse me?"
"N-not like that Shad, I mean in the same room as you. No sex." Sans stuttered out his face dark blue.
"Oh, I mean you can have the floor."
"Alright. Um wanna get some grub at Grillby's?"
"Oh, are you asking me on a date?" Shadow teased.
Sans turned blue again but looked at her with a smirk. His left eye was burning blue with determination, "This can be date one, Saturday is date two. Sound good Shad?"