12. Free will is a myth

Vera was really starting to like this woman. Detective Knight was one hell of a cop, sure, but mostly, one hell of a person, smart and apparently reasonable when it counted.

It had taken Vera few minutes to calm down and she had spent them with her palm on Brett's chest and his firm grip on her shoulder. Claire had been talking to her urgently, persuading her she could handle this and they had her needed to, because they had all been in danger.

Nothing had helped her as much as Knight's voice, cutting through Vera's rapid's breaths and Claire's attempts to comfort her and get-it-together speech.

"I'll take you there."

Vera's blurry vision had cleared almost instantly. Brett and Claire had stared at the detective incredulously.

"You mean it," Claire had said, frowning in doubt.

"Yes."

That was how they found themselves on the streets of New York in huge Honda, taking sharp turns.

"Why you're doing this?" Vera breathed from the back seat, still processing that the detective had actually taken Vera and Claire to a car, driving them to Midland Circle without alerting anyone else of the NYPD force, Brett staying and promising to have his lips sealed.

Detective Knight eyed her in the rear-view mirror, not answering at first. Then she sighed tiredly.

"Look, Machackova. I really don't like this. Neither I like the way you think you can just get away with lying to the police and openly protect Daredevil's identity. But the truth is he's trying his best and what's more, so is Luke. I trust Luke. Even I can tell we're over our heads, all of us. This Hand shitstorm is no laughing matter; if the police will go head on them, it will be a bloodbath," she explained, apparently making it up as she went.

"Getting in the way of the three or four wayward vigilantes is only making things worse. Buying them some time without cops on their back is the only thing I can do right now," she added, taking another sharp turn, the seatbelt cutting to Vera's torso.

Jesus, this woman drove like mad.

Vera was grateful for that.

"That doesn't explain why you took us along," Vera noted carefully, watching the detective. Claire remained silent.

"Maybe I just need to get rid of your annoying ass."

Vera huffed out a laugh, noticing the detective shot her an amused look in the mirror. That was alright. In the end, Vera didn't need to know her motivations; it was the outcome what was important. She definitely wouldn't look the gift horse in the mouth.

"Thank you, Misty," Claire said, giving the detective a small smile as they went down to a parking lot.

"Just make sure it's worth it and that those idiots don't die."

Vera gulped at the last note, grateful that Knight pulled over with a loud cry of the tires, revealing four figures. Four; of course Coleen had already been here.

Luke, Jessica, Colleen and Matt stared at the car, ready to defend themselves. Claire and Misty threw the doors open.

"Hold it!" the detective warned and Vera slowly opened her door too, getting out as Claire asked what happened. When Vera was closing the door, she looked at Matt; he was leaning forward, gripping his billy club tightly. He was clearly not happy about the development.

"No time to explain," Luke cut them off.

Vera quickly scanned the parking lot. 'What happened' seemed like a relevant question, given the mess. She eyed Matt again; his face was twisted in a strange grimace – it made Vera feel more than uneasy. Was he in such pain that he couldn't hide it, displaying it on his face? Or what was it what she saw?

He was alive and that was all that mattered.

"Like hell here isn't," Knight complained.

"Where's Matt?" Vera asked, managing to sound outraged, actually proud of herself for thinking of asking. She felt Knight's eyes on her.

The man in question tilted his head, but didn't comment.

Jessica picked up on it, replying quickly and simply. "Safe."

Well. She was definitely a better liar than Vera or Matt himself. Because Matt was as far from 'safe' as Vera could imagine.

"Please, just let us go," Colleen breathed, tired but determined.

Vera took few steps forward, closer to the vigilantes. She would swear Matt stepped back a little. Ouch.

"You got a minute before the full force of the NYPD is here, so I need you to answer this fast," the detective informed them and they all stiffened in anticipation. "How long do you want me to stall them?"

"The longer the better," Luke admitted, not saying out loud how grateful he probably was.

"That helps," Knight hummed ironically, but nodded.

Vera smiled inconspicuously at Knight's help and approached the group with Claire right behind her. Matt's hand twitched in their direction, hinting a rejecting gesture. Vera ignored him, coming closer, her chin up, showing she could not be intimidated easily.

He would try to convince her to leave. She would not give in though.

"You're leaving," Matt almost growled, his voice permitting no objections, just like Vera had expected.

The anger in his voice… she knew what it meant, what he was trying to cover – it was just a glimpse of how much the idea of her being here terrified him. Well, tough shit. The idea of not being here with him terrified her worse. Because she knew what Terri had seen; and if there was anything Vera could do to prevent it, it wasn't sitting in the police car drinking shitty coffee or something like that, that was for sure.

"Yeah, leaving with you. Wh-"

"You can't come with us!"

"Watch me," she shot back. Any other time, her choice of words might be hilarious. Now they were just words that pissed him off.

"It's too dangerous and you will be no help!" he hissed, irritated.

That hurt. Vera might be not some ninja hottie (and Vera was sure the Elektra ninja woman was hot as fuck despite being some kind of a zombie), but she wasn't useless. She was fairly certain her fighting skills were superior to Claire's and Claire was apparently coming with them.

For a fraction of second, Matt seemed to feel sorry for his words, realizing he cut too deep, made her feel like something lesser; he quickly recovered, falling back into his role. He was too stubborn to apologize… and probably very determined to keep her out of this.

Too bad for him; Vera was determined more. If he could have hit a sore spot, so could she. Oh god, she hated herself for planning on reminding him the pinned-to-the-floor-and-almost-dislocating-her-shoulder incident, but screw it. There would be time to apologize later when he would be still alive.

"Well, tough shit. You want to stop me? There are several ways to do it, you know them all and tried some of them before; break my arm, break my leg. Hell, break my neck, I'm sure that would work."

Shocked silence fell. No one dared to enter their fight. No one dared to even breathe. Matt looked as if someone had just used a taser on him, appalled at her words. Which was what she needed.

Sorry, Matt. "You have to do that, because otherwise I'm coming with."

"Vera-" he snarled, but it was pathetic, his lips a thin line in a picture of pure misery and anger.

His voice was much weaker than before, sounding wounded. She hit the right spot. She hated herself for it, but in this case the end justified the means.

"I'm not staying behind. Deal with it. Let's move. We just spent two minutes fighting over nothing."

The group of wayward vigilantes left the garage with Claire and Vera on their tails, abandoning the detective. Vera sent the woman a silent thank you as she jogged to Matt's side; which was not an easy job, because his pace was rapid. Furious.

"I'm sorry for what I said there. I know you would never hurt me," she whispered, knowing there was no need to speak loudly even if she hadn't caught up with his tempo.

"I don't understand why are you so determined to get yourself killed, Vera," he strained through his gritted teeth, apparently not relenting. That coming from him. "You are no match for them."

Vera ignored the stung at that, because it wasn't like he was exaggerating. She barely matched Matt in the gym, in a controlled environment, and he was being nice to her. She watched his profile, the only visible part of him being his lower face; it was extremely tense.

"Which means I'm useless?"

"That's not what I meant and you know it," he snarled.

"I don't, actually. Because back there, it was exactly how it sounded and now it sounds just the same."

Matt winced at her wounded tone she hadn't even attempted. He finally slowed down a little, turning his head to her inconspicuously.

"Vera, these people are cold blooded murderers. They kill without giving it a second thought, they only care about power. They don't give a shit what's in their way, they just eliminate it." He sighed. "Is it really so hard to understand that I want you to stay as far from it as possible?"

"…no. No, it's not."

"I said what I thought I needed to say to keep you safe," he breathed, his mask falling despite the helmet being still on. He opened just a little, letting Vera see he still felt. That he really only had been trying to keep her out of the line of danger. "Apparently, it wasn't enough."

"I was serious, Matt. There was nothing you could have said. The only way of making me stay back was to disable me. Not even your resurrected ex wouldn't have hold me down."

He sighed again, corners of his lips twitching nervously. "I'm sorry for what I've said and I'm sorry for what I haven't. I didn't mean to hurt you. You're the exact opposite of useless, Vera. I thought you knew that."

Vera felt some of the weight being raised from her shoulders, the vice her chest had been for a while loosening its grip slightly. She hesitantly reached for Matt's gloved hand, surprised he immediately accepted hers, squeezing lightly.

The small gesture, the touch, it meant a lot. She hadn't realized before, but they hadn't touched since he had left her at the precinct the first time; after that, she had initiated physical contact when she had been examining him and had taken his hand and had kissed his forehead when he had been unconscious. And then he had almost dislocated her shoulder and elbow and wrist at the same time. Not exactly ideal and given how important role the touch had in their relationship, Vera hadn't realized until know how much she had felt distant from him just due to that.

Sure, the secret keeping and the shit around was still here and it was not helping; she allowed herself to smile nevertheless.

"I do now."

The group stopped when they reached a lobby, Colleen tossing the bag in her hand on the ground. It woke Vera from her little dream.

"I don't like you here either by the way, not at all," Luke informed Clare, who only smirked.

"Too late. What's in the bag?"

Colleen kneeled down, opening the bag. Vera instantly knew what was in it even without looking. She should have known.

She stared at the fucking C4, the thing that was responsible for Terri's vision and Vera wanted to puke and scream and hit something and at the same time, she just wanted to crawl to a corner and curl up in a ball, because so far everything was pointing to the direction of her failing her mission to save Matt. Vera was here at Midland Circle with everyone but Danny, whom they were about to rescue, and then they were about to blow up a building – with Matt in it.

"This isn't happening," Jessica noted, so done with this whole bullshit. Her voice sounded like from behind a glass to Vera, her own pulse too loud in her ears.

"Oh my god." Claire breathed, horrified.

"Hey, look. We grab Danny and we get him out, but if we don't end the Hand, sooner or later they'll come after us."

"This isn't happening," Jessica repeated, looking away as if the bag would disappear with the action.

"The architect, he was your guy, right?" Colleen started explaining while fishing out sheets of paper, revealing the blueprints of the building. Vera stared at it dully, unable to move or to say a single word. This was it. This was the moment she should be doing something to stop this madness and prevent— that.

"Don't put this shit on me," Jessica protested, disgusted.

"He planned it all-"

"No," Vera finally let out, a sound that was barely human. At least she thought so. She didn't feel like her body belonged to her anymore.

"Vera, look-"

"No," Vera repeated resolutely. "This is insane. Do you really want to blow up a building? With people in it?!"

With Matt in it?

"We need to take the Hand down. They are murderers, Vera. They came after Danny, they came after Matt. You of all people should understand-"

"I do! But this is fucking insane! We're talking about mass murder here! And what if-" Vera closed her eyes, her knees almost giving up at the thought of saying it out loud. What if someone stays behind?

"She's right. I want to save Danny too, but-" Claire agreed, not finishing the thought, Colleen cutting in.

"Claire, you know what these people are capable of. This isn't just about Danny, this is about all of us, hell, this is about New York. They are responsible for the earthquake and that was just the beginning, you realize that, don't you?"

"Even if we do this – there is no guarantee it will end their organization," Jessica reasoned.

"It will cut out the head of a snake. Their leaders are here."

"I'm not here to take lives," Luke stated, disapproving resolutely. Vera was grateful; if Jessica was against the plan, Luke was and Claire as well…

"These people, they aren't really alive."

"And the building is empty apart from us and the Hand," Matt said and Vera's head snapped to him in horror. He was in. He wanted to do this.

"You're okay with this?" Claire turned to Matt with the same disbelief.

"I mean…"

"You can't be serious, Matt," Vera added, more desperate than surprised.

Of course he was all in for the plan that was orchestrated to kill him. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she wondered how the fuck he was okay with killing those people down there – perhaps it was because they indeed weren't really people, not really alive. How should she know? She had bigger problems than questioning his morals right now.

"She's right. And the architect knew it. The only way to end what's coming, to save the city, is to bring this building down." And you. "So unless there are any objections…"

"I have plenty," Vera snarled.

"So do I. I don't care how dangerous they are. I'm not part of this," Luke exclaimed, gesturing vaguely between them and the C4.

"I'm not happy about this either. But Colleen is right. The Hand will keep coming after us," Matt explained, turning to Vera, who just didn't know what to do anymore, what to say to make them understand. She would choose being chased by the Hand over killing Matt any time. "Vera, you don't want that. You know too well how dangerous they are."

"Gentle reminder that it was the Chaste who almost killed me."

"And the Hand nearly killed me, Danny, Colleen and was damn close to killing everyone else in this room too. And we don't know about half of the people who died in this senseless war. The Chaste is gone. And this is our chance to shut down the Hand as well."

"They will come back. Again and again. This could end them for good," Colleen supported Matt, staring at Vera as if she was the only who was against the crazy idea of blowing up a building and committing a mass murder.

"Look, I get that you have history with these people…" Luke started.

"So do you. So had the kid from Harlem."

"This won' bring him back," Luke turned to Matt at his protest.

"But it will prevent anyone else from getting hurt by them," Matt offered, but Vera couldn't see a hint of hesitation on Luke's face. He still didn't agree with this. Thank god.

"I just can't go along with this."

"Thank you!" Vera exclaimed, gesturing wildly at him, wanting to hug the shit out of him, because he seemed to be the last person thinking straight here. Even Jessica seemed torn; she was very quiet.

"For the record, everything that has been said in past four minutes is one hundred percent insane."

"Thank you!" Luke cried out at Claire's exclaim.

"But."

"Sweet sister."

"Seriously, Claire?!" Vera gasped, turning to the nurse, betrayed.

"We all know what the Hand is capable of, we've been all affected-"

"They keep coming back," Colleen supported her again and Vera wanted to scream.

"They came after our friends," Jessica spoke up after a very long time and Luke shot her a betrayed look, while Vera felt tears in her eyes. Jesus fucking Christ. Just a minute ago, it had been four against two and now the numbers were the same except the majority wanted to go along with the plan.

"No. Just no. What if we fail, huh? Someone stays behind, some of us dies and-" It is going to happen. You stay behind, Matt, Terri saw it. You die. Why wouldn't she just tell him that? "And-"

They fell into silence as Matt walked slowly to Vera, stripping his gloves, cupping her cheek. "No one is going to die. I pro-"

"Don't. Don't make promises you can't keep!" she cried out, shaking her head wildly until Matt framed her face with both hands to prevent the movement. His thumbs stroked her cheeks gently.

"If we do this, no one but these Hand monsters is getting hurt, alright? Not one innocent person," Luke finally gave in and Vera squeezed her eyes shut, few tears actually escaping.

"Of course," Matt agreed, kissing Vera's forehead and Vera shivered under the tender touch. Why was she so weak? "How do we do this?"

Vera heard a rustle of paper and steps as the rest of their weird team gathered around the blueprints. Matt couldn't see what was there anyway, so he stayed with Vera, his thumb tenderly caressing her damp cheeks. It made her feel even worse, because goddammit she couldn't— she couldn't lose this. She couldn't lose him.

"This is wrong, Matt, someone's gonna get hurt and-"

"Hey, it's gon-" Matt winced, his hands tightening on her face. "Someone's coming. A window just broke on the second floor."

Vera felt her pulse hammering in her temples, rush of blood loud in her ears. She snapped her eyes open again, Matt's reassuring hands falling from her cheeks.

Jesus, shit. Shouldn't all of their enemies be already downstairs? Like forty stories downstairs? Why more and more shit was coming down at them?

Darkest before the dawn she had told him, huh? She was really looking forward the dawn part. Maybe there wouldn't be any though, maybe they were cursed. It definitely felt like it now.