Sorry for the late update - FFdotnet was having another tantrum at the weekend. I do post this story on AO3 though, so if it's not updated here, chances are that I've updated over on that site.
Anyway, thanks as always for reading. Enjoy...
Chapter Seven
Gathered in Pete's living room, the Lattimers, Myka, Helena and Christina, Thomas and Claudia sat in stunned silence as the events on the screen played out. Once the caretaker had pressed play, inside footage of various 'church' groups quickly stifled the friendly camaraderie in the room.
Sitting on the arm of the sofa, next to Helena, Myka had half an eye on the cultists who spouted hate-filled nonsense, and half an eye on the inventor. As the Brit's breathing quickened and she appeared to become more agitated, Myka caught her daughter's eye from the other side of the room and they exchanged expressions of concern. For several long seconds, she gazed down at silver-speckled raven hair and wondered whether this was the thing that was going to set HG off on her next warpath.
Why doesn't she ask for help? Myka wondered bitterly and then, almost as quickly, a fiercely protective voice answered with a caustic, why don't you offer it!?
Realising how right that second voice was, she swallowed her shame and tentatively placed a hand on the inventor's shoulder. The Brit jumped at the touch and looked up in surprise, her eyes holding a wealth of emotion. Myka smiled a little and squeezed the shoulder under her hand, hoping that the gesture might bring a modicum of comfort. Helena appeared to breathe easier as she reached up for her wife's hand and held it through the rest of the surveillance footage. They might not be functioning as a couple, but as co-parents, they were very much dedicated to protecting their family.
It was as they were nearing the end of the footage that Meghan appeared on screen herself to share her suspicions of a traitor in their midst and, as she escaped capture time and again, announced her intention to return to Denver to explain all in detail. It was clear to all of them that the undercover agent was losing hope of making it out of her mission alive, but they held onto the slim chance right to the last few seconds.
A collective gasp rose from those who had not yet seen their colleague's final moments and identified the woman's killer. As Jason stepped over the body, closed the door and calmly made a phone call, Claudia paused and turned to her friends.
Knowing Jason the least, as far as she could remember, Myka ventured her thoughts first. "It could be the thimble," she suggested, wanting to be optimistic.
The caretaker shook her head sadly. "We have the thimble. No other artefacts have such a convincing effect. We have the pearl too, but we're looking into other, similar things that might have brainwashed JJ into thinking he's doing the right thing."
"Hypnosis?" Pete wondered aloud. "Like, when he hears a word he thinks he's a chicken? Or y'know, psychotic double-crossing murderer?"
"It's possible," Claudia agreed solemnly. "I showed Steve this footage yesterday," she added quietly and for a moment they all thought that she might actually cry.
"How did he take it?" Myka asked softly. She became aware of the hand that loosened its grip on her own and, instead of letting go as her sceptic voice told her to, she instinctively held tighter. Her first thought, after seeing Jason's betrayal, was of that moment in Warehouse 2 when HG had pulled a tesla on her and Pete, but instead of fuelling her anger, she was surprised to find herself wanting to reassure the Brit that she wasn't giving up on them.
"I've never seen him cry like that," Claudia croaked, prompting a moment of awkward silence.
"Where is he?" Pete asked with a little more life to his voice. "We can't leave him on his own. He should be with family." Looking up at his girlfriend, he communicated a desire through his eyes and she nodded firmly. "He can stay with us for as long as he needs," he told the room.
"I'll let him know," the red head smiled sadly. "Stupid idiot thinks it's his fault. That he's put everyone in danger. He's staying with his mom for a couple of days, but he wants to come back when we decide what we're gonna do with Jason."
Finally finding her voice, Helena took a steadying breath, tugged her hand gently from Myka's grasp and tried to approach the issue from a logical standpoint, "Whether he's aware of his transgressions or not, now that Steven knows, Jason will be aware of a disquiet in their relationship. They've been married for a long time; he will instinctively know that something is wrong." She hesitated a fraction of a second before adding, "I do not believe that he should be trusted from this point on. If he has acted under his own intention, he may take flight. If not, he will be confused and hurt by his husband's abrupt departure."
"Come on, HG. I agree in principal but give Steve a couple of days to process at least," Pete argued.
The inventor's eyes darkened impossibly. "I will not hang my family's safety on anyone's sensibilities, even if that individual is someone I care about! Steve would not thank us for deferring caution on his behalf only to result in an innocent sustaining injury." She could feel a deep, residual anger at herself bubbling up from somewhere forgotten. She had been the villain once and there were many times during her recovery that she'd wished that someone had managed to stand in her way before she could act on her plans. "Had you suspected my plans before Warehouse 2, would you have told Myka and then given her 'a couple of days' to process before locking me away?" she asked irritably, shocking the room into another silence. Allowing her tone to soften slightly, she added, "Jason is a member of this family and for his own protection as well as ours, I propose that we detain him until we have Steve's cooperation and a better understanding of his involvement in Meghan's murder."
Beside the inventor, Myka swallowed the lump in her throat and buried a new appreciation for the Brit's strength. "I have to agree with HG on this one, Pete. We can't risk lives, especially not the kids'."
"Yeah," former agent Lattimer responded in a more subdued manner. "You're right. Sorry, HG." Pete slumped in his chair, feeling defeat and his own rising concerns. Freddy still had a long road of rehab ahead of him to get full use of his limbs back and every time he saw the lad, he pictured Sophie or Jake in the same state. He nodded. "Where are we gonna keep him?"
They all turned to Claudia at the same time, looking to the caretaker for a practical solution. Since they had no official standing with the government any longer and couldn't trust the new Warehouse operatives, there were very few options left open to them. Other than one of their homes (and only the Wells-Bering residence was truly suitable to hold a prisoner), Claudia's island headquarters was the best choice.
Calculating all of this in moments, the red head reached the same conclusion. "We can take care of him on the island," she confirmed. "The difficulty will be in getting him there. We can't smuggle him on a commercial flight."
"Nor do we have the authority to transport a prisoner," Helena added.
"The transporter!" Myka and Christina said simultaneously.
HG's eyebrows drew together. "I have not thoroughly tested its reliability or safety," she warned them.
"You came through unscathed," Myka reminded the inventor. "And you've been playing with it for weeks now."
"Perhaps now's the time for a live, long distance test?" Christina pitched in hesitantly.
Helena felt her stomach clench at the thought of sending someone through her machine without being confident in its functionality. Since her conscience was much louder these days, her experiments tended to be less risky. In the days when she'd built her time machine, she hadn't really cared about anything other than getting her little girl back. Collateral damage was irrelevant. Now, she had more to live for and she was more considerate of the safety of others. Could she bring herself to try the machine out on a friend, even if he was potentially a traitor?
"I'll do it," Claudia volunteered after watching the inventor's inner struggle.
HG shook her head. "No. If anyone should be put at risk to test the validity of one of my inventions, it should be me." She looked quickly around at all of them, her gaze lingering on Myka's. "I will not put any of your lives in danger before my own."
The red head smirked and crossed her arms over her chest, the first sign of humour passing her expression. "And how exactly are you getting home when you get there?" Helena scowled which only made the caretaker's grin wider. "Face it, HG. Time is short, you're needed here, it would take a day or two for you to make your way home, and I gots the skills to poof even without your toy." Seeing a hint of surrender in her friend's eyes, she decided to take that doubt as a victory and head out. "Now, I'm gonna do my thang, and go break the news to Jinksy. At the very least, it should give him some piece of mind to know that JJ's gonna be in a safe place where he can't hurt anyone else."
Before anyone could argue or add to the red head's departure speech, Claudia had walked out of the room and, as no more noise could be heard, presumably disappeared. The tense atmosphere remained as gentle chatter broke out amongst the occupants of Pete and Lila's living room, but there was a very subtle hint of relief in knowing that they had a plan and that their friend would be looked after.
"I can't believe that Jase would kill Megs willingly," Pete said, interrupting the whispered conversations that had broken out.
"There was no love lost between them," Helena observed pointedly.
"Yeah, but…" He shook his head. "He loves Steve. He wouldn't hurt him like that."
Determined to play devil's advocate, HG rose from her place on the couch and paced a few steps along the room. "Hate is a powerful motivator," she observed, drawing more from her own misguided feelings than from Jason's. As all five faces turned to watch her, she allowed her stiff posture to relax slightly. "It is always preferable to assume that a person's wrong doings were not entirely performed out of their own intention. Especially a friend. The reality is that sometimes we choose to act selfishly, regardless of how much our actions hurt those we love."
Christina began to feel uncomfortable with the new direction of the conversation and twitched next to her boyfriend. She knew her mother's mistakes but it had been a long time since the inventor had been so openly distressed about them. "Mum, what are you saying?"
"We cannot afford to trust him," HG responded, her arms falling defensively over her torso.
Myka looked on, silently observing the Brit's agitated movements and expression. Of course Helena would see the pessimistic side of this issue; she had lived the life of the villain and felt the subsequent consequences. Remorse, regret and self-loathing were all clear in HG's demeanour and for the first time since waking up in this new reality, Myka knew that she'd been right to put her faith in her lover, despite the fact that it had backfired on her.
"We trusted you," Pete threw at the pacing regent, his tone hardening and reaffirming his propensity to lock horns with the Victorian.
Rather than take offence, HG's face softened and she smiled sadly at Pete. "Precisely," she whispered before letting her legs carry her from the room.
Christina glared at her uncle and watched him recoil. She moved to follow her mother but felt a hand on her arm before she could put the thought into action. Resentful words bubbled into her mouth and hovered on the tip of her tongue, until she turned to find her other mother beside her.
"I've got this, sweetheart," Myka soothed her daughter. Christina looked so much like Helena in that moment that she knew she had to add some sort of explanation to cool the young woman's ire, "It's not Pete's fault. It's not him she's angry with."
Tears pooled around dark eyes, making them appear glassy and the young Victorian wiped hastily at them before glancing at her uncle. "I'm sorry."
"It's all good, kid. Your Mum needs a champion sometimes," he grinned in a lazy, lopsided manner and glanced between the two Wells-Bering women. "You take after your Ma that way."
Myka rolled her eyes but felt secretly pleased at the comment. Leaving a reassuring squeeze on her daughter's arm, she followed after the inventor's footsteps, which led her through the dining room and out onto the balcony. Though a clear, blue sky hung overhead, with it being the first week of December, there was an icy nip to the air and the regent instinctively drew her arms round her body in an attempt to keep warm.
"Don't you think you were a little hard on Pete?" she enquired lightly as she half turned to lean against the railing.
HG's eyelids closed over a swirling pool of anguish and she hung her head. "I know," she sighed. "He consistently manages to consider the sanguine side of life and I…" She trailed off, unsure of how to word her feelings.
"This issue hits close to home," Myka concluded. "You don't want us to make the same mistakes that we made with you," she added and stared across at the sprawling rows of buildings. She spotted a rigid nod from the corner of her eye and sighed. "What if they weren't mistakes though?"
"Three young men are dead because of me, not to mention those I terrorised and the countless I intended to murder, and…" she choked on her next thought and fell quiet.
"You hurt your friends," the brunette acknowledged. "You hurt me."
"Yes."
"Yet here we are," Myka noted simply. "A family. Stronger, closer, happier – for the most part. I may not remember the journey we made to get here, but I'm beginning to see why we made it."
"I didn't deserve your trust," Helena insisted stubbornly.
"Not at first, no. I trusted you blindly and let you distract me too many times," the younger regent agreed. A strained silence settled over them as they each considered Myka's words and dwelled on the events of the past. "Though perhaps… perhaps having someone believe in you was exactly what you needed to make you see your actions in a different light. To make you want to change. You have changed."
That admission hung between them for a few minutes as each woman became lost in her own thoughts. The loss of Myka's memories had dragged Helena's buried guilt back to the surface and made her study her actions all over again. It was a weight that never really left her but her wife, their family and their friends' support had helped her to make sense of them and put them in a healthier place. Myka's anger made them exposed and raw again but recent conversations had demonstrated that the younger regent still retained her ability to be forgiving.
Dwelling on old memories was doing little to help HG's state of mind, but she couldn't ignore the cautionary tale that accompanied them. "I do hope that Jason's actions were not of his own will. For his sake and Steve's," she admitted in a hushed tone. "But the fact remains: we did not see this coming and cannot account for too many of Jason's whereabouts. We cannot confront him without showing our hand so must assume the worst and take the necessary precautions."
"I agree," Myka said with a sigh. "The alternative doesn't bear thinking about. One of our own with unrestrained access?" she caught a slight tightening around the inventor's eyes but otherwise, saw just an answering nod. She thrust her hands into her pockets and studied her feet for a moment before looking back up. "I do think you should consider Claudia's suggestion though."
HG's her body stiffened again. "I cannot in good conscience allow her to test my machine. What if I miscalculated and she were sucked into an oblivion? Better I test it. Even if I did not liken her to a sister, the caretaker is less expendable than I."
"Expendable?" Myka repeated, anger creeping into her tone. Something about that word in relation to the inventor made her stomach clench with fear. Have I done that? she thought desperately. Have I made her think that she's not wanted or needed? Regardless of the answers, she was annoyed with the Brit's seemingly casual disregard for her own life. "No one is expendable!" she hissed. "What would it do to the kids to lose you? What would it do to any of us?" She deliberately didn't say 'what would it do to me?' but the words were forefront in her mind.
Helena straightened in surprise at the depth of emotion in the brunette's tone. She didn't think that her words had warranted such a reaction. I was simply stating a fact. "I didn't mean to suggest that I my life has no value," she tried to explain. "Only that, practically speaking, there is a degree of importance between myself and Claudia – to the Warehouse and our intention to prevent Chapman from taking control, I mean," she added hastily.
Myka flushed slightly at her over reaction but remained obstinate. "Ok, I see what you're saying, but I disagree. I know that you've figured out how Chapman set the destination when he transported you. You have everything else you need. So, if you want to look at things practically… From what I've gathered so far, Christina has some pivotal role in whatever battle we're hurtling towards. Losing you would only destabilise our family further. You know what grief can do to a person." She waited to catch the inventor's eye again before hammering the nail in the coffin, "She's only just beginning to recover from Freddy being hurt under her watch."
The scowl on the inventor's face deepened. "That is an underhand tactic, Myka."
"Yeah? Well it doesn't make me any less right," Myka shot back.
Unconsciously, she had moved closer to the other regent and HG had pushed herself off the rail to give the argument her full attention. As a result, the two stood toe-to-toe, neither looking likely to back down.
"I have no intention of letting this crazy ancestor engage Christina in any mission of his," Helena insisted vehemently. "She will be fine."
The brunette crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. "You might not get a choice. What if that's her destiny?" the argued.
Helena heard the word destiny and felt an icy chill along her spine. She hated it. To her, it was a word that said 'you cannot protect them, no matter how hard you try'. "I'm beginning to think that you are more interested in your place in this historical convergence than you are in our children's well-being!" she vented. Immediately, she wanted to take the words back, but by the expression on her wife's face, it was too late.
Myka's glare blazed with green fire. "How dare you! You know me better than that." She noted a tightening around the inventor's eyes again, indicative of pain and remorse, but HG's jaw remained stubbornly clenched. She was hit by a strong urge to pull the Brit closer and kiss her but brushed the conflicting feeling aside. She would study it later, in private. "Is that how you like to resolve disagreements, by throwing insults around? Two can easily play at that game, Helena. Do you really wanna go there?"
The quiet fury in her wife's tone brought Helena sharply out of her angered state. Fear begets anger, she reminded herself and began to isolate the things that most terrified her. She felt all of the fight abandon her voice and broke eye contact as she stared into the distance. "I'm just trying to do the right thing," she whispered.
Myka released a long breath full of tension and adrenaline. "I know. There are no good answers for this. Maybe it would help if we put it to a vote?" she suggested softly. "We should all share in the responsibility of this project."
HG considered the proposal carefully. She felt a slight loosening in the knots that filled her stomach. "That is an acceptable compromise," she allowed eventually.
A small smile crept onto the younger regent's features. "And just to prove that I'm reasonable: since it's your invention and you can't help but feel more responsible that the rest of us, your vote should count for two."
"Thank you," Helena answered with a small nod. She allowed her gaze to drift back to the concrete-smeared horizon and gripped the railing. The heated confrontation with her wife had sparked more than just negative feelings. Her body was used to releasing that build-up of tension in a particular way and it thrummed to life with the promise of attention from the woman she loved.
Thrusting tingling hands safely into her pockets, Myka studied the Brit's profile and tried to account for the need to close the distance between her and her ex-lover. Wanting to rekindle and encourage that flame was a stupid thing to want after everything that Helena had done to her, but she could no longer deny that the desire to do so was an integral part of her. You said it yourself, she thought, she's changed.
Before her more impulsive side could take the reins, she remembered the people waiting inside and took a step towards the door. "We should head back inside."
HG released the breath she'd been holding. For a moment, she thought that she'd felt an undercurrent of something between the two of them, but then it was gone. "Yes, we've delayed long enough," she responded and turned to face the curly-haired regent. A small smile played at the corner of Myka's mouth and she returned it tentatively.
It was a start.
With the reality of Myka's memory loss and Jason's double cross hanging over their heads, Thankahmas was a considerably more subdued affair than usual. The adults spread themselves between dining, kitchen and living rooms while the teens and pre-teens monopolised the first floor and attic – with the proviso that all doors were to remain open. The usual crowd consisted of everyone but Myka's parents (who found large crowds beyond their ability to enjoy these days) and all but Jason and Steve were in attendance.
The vote to decide on who would test the transporter had turned heavily in Claudia's favour and two days after the meeting at Pete's, the caretaker escorted Steve and a grief-stricken Jason back to her island headquarters.
He'd protested when they'd detained him at the Wells-Bering house and laid their accusations before him, but after listening to and then seeing the evidence, he'd given himself willingly to their care and with tears in his eyes, answered as many of their questions as he was able. The scene had been difficult for them all to deal with.
"We're gonna figure it out, JJ," Pete tried to reassure their friend as Helena and Claudia gave the transporter one final check. "Whoever whammied you is gonna wish they hadn't messed with us."
Jason gave a wan smile, his gaze flicking constantly between Pete and the man who was conversing in hushed tones with Myka across the room. Steve had barely been able to hold his gaze since Meghan's death and he missed his husband fiercely. He blinked the ever-gathering wetness from his eyes. "How can I begin to make this right?" he whispered hoarsely.
"Hey," the older man said as he placed a comforting hand on his friend's arm. "Myka's got insight into things like this. You've seen her and HG, right? Have faith, man. Jinksy loves you."
Losing three of their rank so suddenly was a shock for all of them, but they had learned to pull together during difficult times and held hope that they could have at least two of them back… eventually. For now, they had to be thankful for the few celebrations that they could have.
Helena was sipping a glass of wine in quiet contemplation when the doorbell rang for the last time that evening and she stood to answer the summons. From the other side of the room, watching from the corner of her eye, Myka sensed déjà vu teasing her thoughts as she watched a tipsy melancholy grow from dark depths. Though the intangible wisps of memory were down right annoying, they at least gave her some confidence regarding the future into which she'd been thrust.
"I thought everyone was already here," Myka puzzled aloud, drawing her redheaded companion's attention.
Claudia shrugged, trying to appear quirky and casual – a state that eluded her more and more each day. "I think CJ mentioned something about Adelaide trying to make the trip this year," she answered eventually.
The regent's mind immediately wondered who 'Adelaide' was, but the obvious distress on her friend's face brought a different question to the tip of her tongue. "Claude, what do you need me to do? You look like you need a weekend retreat, or a month's hibernation. At least a relaxing bath and a strong drink?"
"Do I get all of the above if I break down and become catatonic? Or will that just get me a straight-jacket? I think the asylum has my measurements," she added with a short-lived attempt at humour.
Myka reached for the caretaker's hand. "Do you want to be here? They'd all understand if this was too much. We could disappear and go somewhere to talk?"
"But I love Thankahmas!" Claudia complained under her breath. Her face fell as she glanced around the room at the family that surrounded them. For the longest time, she had been alone while surrounded by people. She didn't think she'd ever have to feel that way again, but here she was, feeling like a stranger in a crowd. Only this was worse because this crowd was full of people she loved.
"It's hard to love something when you're not feelin' the love," the brunette responded wryly, earning herself an almost amused eye-roll. It wasn't something that she said without conviction though; she only had to think about Helena and the proof was there. "These guys aren't going anywhere for a while."
"Eh, I suppose you're right. You proposing to be my agony aunt?" she wondered with a mix of quizzical and hopeful in her expression.
Myka smiled and drained her glass. "Yeah, I am. Come on. Get your coat."
"We goin' for a walk?" the caretaker wondered as she followed suit.
"Nope. The tree house," the regent answered bluntly. They walked through the hallway just in time to hear the excited squeals of two young women and paused in mid-step. Myka raised an eyebrow at her friend as she caught an unreadable expression on HG's face. Why does she look so happy? Who is that woman?
Claudia placed a hand on the small of the brunette's back and guided her in the direction of the kitchen instead of the back door. At another puzzled look from the regent, she shrugged. "For some reason, the tree-house is lacking in alcoholic beverages."
"That's so unlike my underaged children to forget to stock up," Myka replied, making sure to coat her words in sarcasm.
"I know!" Red hair shook with the head it was attached to. "And I thought I'd taught them so well."
Myka watched a temporary return of the mischief that she knew and loved so well and hesitated. "You'd better be joking," she threatened lightly.
"Pfft. Of course," Claudia responded quickly, her feet already carrying her out of the door as she added under her breath, "Mostly."
The regent forgot all about helping as she chased after her friend. "What was that? Claude?" She stepped out into the cold, early winter evening, hot on the caretaker's heels. "Claudia!"
"What?" Seeing the predictable expression of concern and annoyance in the regent's face, she sighed and chuckled for the first time in days. She rolled her eyes playfully. "No, I've never supplied your angels with alcohol. I just like to push your buttons. You know I love those kids. We all do."
Myka gaged the seriousness of the techie's words before finding interest in her feet. "Yeah… Sorry, I just…"
"Get protective. I know Mama-Ber," Claudia told her friend warmly. "What'd'ya say we get this party started?" she added and waved her bottle of whisky half-heartedly in the air.
The taller of the two nodded and between them, they managed to scale the ladder with bottle and glasses in hand. Though the tree house was insulated and there was a definite improvement to the temperature inside, there was no fire or central heating to warm up the space so they each pulled out two blankets before making themselves comfortable on the beanbags. Claudia grabbed the first glass and poured herself two fingers before doing the same for her companion.
"This is my favourite time of year, y'know?" Claudia began as she took a generous sip of her drink. "I kinda invented Thankahmas after all."
Myka took a more reserved sip of her own whiskey as she watched her friend closely. "Why? What made you think of it?"
"Well, when we were still in South Dakota, there were less of us and we were still at Warehouse 13, so it was easier to get everyone together," the redhead explained, a wistful smile shining behind her eyes. "When HG was given the go-ahead by the regents to take CJ wherever she wanted, she and you decided to move in together. For those first couple of years, the only munchkins we had were Freddy, Sophie and Daniel, and they didn't need much space."
"So, after the Warehouse moved, we came to Boulder?"
"And I became caretaker."
It was said in such a way that the regent couldn't make out how the redhead felt about the promotion. She bit her lip before asking, "Do you regret it, taking the position?"
Claudia's face scrunched in thought before relaxing. "No, not really," she sighed. "It's hard to explain but I don't really get a chance not to like it. I have this second voice in my head that gets a kick out of all the good we do and since I'm kinda at the head of that now, it's a rush. I just wish…" She brought her glass to her lips and savoured the flavour for a moment. "I wish I didn't have to send people off to their deaths."
Nodding, Myka pushed a finger around the rim of her glass and thought back to the times that she'd had similar responsibilities. She thought about the conversation she'd had with Helena and the point of contention they'd reached with the question of Christina's destiny. "Probably the worst part of leadership is having to make choices that might get people injured or killed. I assume you're thinking about Meghan?"
"Yeah," came the subdued reply before the caretaker knocked back the rest of her drink. "She wanted it. Begged me to let her off the island and back into the lion's den. I knew it was gonna end badly, but she'd've been miserable if I'd made her stay."
"Quality of life counts for a lot, Claude. Better a short, happy life than a long, miserable one."
"Yeah, I know." Claudia twisted the lid off the bottle of whiskey and poured herself another measure, stopping at only a finger this time. She waved the bottle at her friend, who declined with a shake of her head. "Good call. Not a genius idea to get drunk in a tree-house." She re-capped the bottle and sat back in her beanbag, cradling the tumbler in her hand and watching the liquid dance in the glass for a moment. "You know what I'm more upset about?" she asked after a moment of companionable silence.
"What?"
"Steve and Jason," the redhead replied, a touch of menace building behind her voice. "They messed with you and HG and now they're messing with another happily married couple. They're trying to break us down from the inside and it pisses me off!"
…another happily married couple, Myka repeated in her head. She felt a jolt of something painful fill her stomach for a moment, and then it was gone. The memory of it lingered though and she wondered for a moment where her 'wife' was. "Then we'll just have to show them that we're stronger than anything they can throw at us," she insisted.
A quirk of a lip pulled up into a smile, which stretched gradually into an all-out grin as Claudia absorbed her friend's statement. "Damn it; you're right! We are gonna find whatever whammied you and Jase. But regardless, we're stronger than the sum of our parts. Jinksy is gonna find a way to get JJ back, and you and HG are gonna be at it like rabbits again before we know it!"
Myka flushed at the implications of that last statement and watched as her friend's whole demeanour rapidly change from melancholy to energised. "I'm not sure that Helena and I are quite there yet," she cautioned.
"Do you think she's hot?" the redhead challenged.
Squirming in her seat, Myka turned a new shade of pink. "That's not the issue."
"It's a start," Claudia winked before throwing back the last of her drink. "Do you still think you're in some sort of dream land?" she asked in a more conversational tone.
The curly-haired brunette considered the question, thinking back to the days following her awakening in Australia to an entirely new reality. "No," she decided eventually. "If I'm honest with myself, I gave up on that theory a while ago."
"When you met the kids?"
Chuckling, Myka glanced down at the woodgrain beneath her feet and pictured her children. "How could I not?" she asked herself. Her thoughts quickly turned to their other mother though and her expression sobered. "I'm scared, Claude," she muttered mostly to herself.
"I know, Myka." Claudia set down her glass and weaved her fingers together in her lap as she levelled a knowing look at her friend. "She clonked you on the head, made you feel like the centre of the universe and then knocked you down. You're starting again after all that, only this time, there's not just you to consider." She smiled at the startled expression before her. "That about sum it up?"
"You know me too well," the regent declared with a sigh.
"A little birdie mighta told me that you watched some home movies with the great Victorian inventor in them." She winked. "The family kind, not the naughty kind. That right?"
"Maybe," Myka hedged.
"It paints a pretty picture, doesn't it?" the caretaker nodded to herself. "It's a lot to lose if things go south again."
"You've turned into Abigail," the regent accused, having met the pretty psychologist one or two times since her return to Colorado.
"Nah, she's not as direct as me. She talks in circles until you find your own answers. I'm just gonna tell you to watch some more movies," Claudia explained like her suggestion was obvious and easy. "Start with the earlier ones when it was just the three of you in South Dakota and you and HG were starting to figure each other out again. And don't skip the wedding stuff!"
Myka's features had hardened and she almost glared at her forward friend. "Is there a reason you want me to torture myself? We might very well never have that life again."
The redhead leant forward, opened her mouth to speak and then paused abruptly as if to listen to something in the air. "Shit, duty calls," she said and struggled from her beanbag.
"What!?" the older woman cried in a kind of panic. "You're just gonna up and leave after that?"
"I'm comin' back!" the caretaker replied defensively. "Look, Mykes," she began in a softer tone. "After Egypt, you and HG were apart for almost a year while she was detained, and then while she was off trying to find the pieces of herself again. Even once you were officially together, it took time for you both to build a relationship. These things always take time, no matter who you are." She inched towards the ladder hatch and lowered herself into the hole as she continued to talk. "I just want you to know that you're doing fine. Don't be afraid to take a chance on her, but don't expect everything to happen over night either. Ok?"
"We came up here to talk about you," Myka reminded her friend apologetically.
"We did," Claudia's head replied. "And I'm good. Or I will be. I gotta run, but I'll see you back in the house later!" she added before the last of her disappeared from view and then the distinctive chime of her departure filled the air.
Myka sighed to herself as she slumped back into her seat and tipped her glass to her mouth. She knew that she was being irrational by avoiding the issue of her and Helena, but Claudia had hit the nail on the head when she said that there was a lot to lose. She'd seen the expectant expressions on her children's faces whenever she and the inventor spent any time near each other and loathed the disappointment that their interaction inevitably left with the youngsters. She had a distinct impression that the three of them had manufactured the last few incidents where she and Helena were left along for a prolonged period of time, and while she appreciated their efforts, it felt too forced and she panicked every time.
What if she never managed to trust the Brit again? What if that was a side-effect of the artefact that she'd come into contact with? How was she supposed to carry that guilt?
Those kinds of worries lingered constantly in the back of her mind whenever she tried to consider life with HG again, but she knew deep down that living her life that way was going to be no better than another failed attempt at a relationship.
As she folded and tidied the blankets away and grabbed the bottle of whiskey to take back to the house, she thought about Claudia's suggestion. By the time she was back indoors and stood side by side with her daughter and the stranger who'd arrived late, she'd decided that she would be brave and then made a mental note to ask her sister for some more movies.
Myka held her hand out automatically as Christina introduced her friend Adelaide and between them they started to pour over pictures featuring a chubby toddler called Darwin and occasionally an older man called Nate. Though she tried to focus her attention on the child, her gaze seemed caught by grey hair and a square jaw and she felt her muscles tense. When she could no longer ignore the feeling, she turned to the chatty pair and asked, "Who's Nate?"
Think HG's got some 'splaining to do! Also, though I don't usually dislike characters for no other reason than they're in the way of a couple that seriously belong together, I hate Nate! Could HG have found anyone less suited to her? Even Artie had more chemistry with her!
Ok, enough Nate bashing, I seriously need to find my muse 'cuz she is being rather elusive at the moment. Sigh.