Ch 4: Those you leave behind.

Chapter Summary: Aizawa asks the class to promise him something.

Aizawa's words hung in the air, almost tangible. "In my experience," he continued, "I've noticed Heroes tend to forget that to save anyone, they need to save themselves too."

"I won't say that the sacrifices heroes make aren't worth it. At the time a sacrifice was made, I'm sure it felt necessary, I'm sure it felt like the only way. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. We will never know, because they made their choice and we can't ask them about it."

"In my time teaching I have expelled 154 students." The abrupt change of subject startled the class back to full attention, bringing back those who had gotten lost in their own thoughts. "As you know, I expel someone when they have zero potential. I won't let someone continue to chase a dream they can't achieve. It's much kinder crush it and let them start something else, then allow them to continue limping along."

"I'm sure to the students it doesn't seem like kindness. It probably seems cruel, they probably hate me for it. I doubt any of them ever considered that I was saving their lives," Aizawa said, lowering his eyes, that had at some point become fixed on a cloud, back to his class.

"It's a pretty common and publicized statistic that 40% of people that graduate from a heroics program don't continue past their first year in the field. It's played up as finding better uses for their quirks, realizing they prefer support or simply not being cut out for the job. It's less publicized that 5% of that statistic is due to crippling injury or death." He gave a second for this to sink in.

"Those, of course, are the national averages. The statistics for UA have always been lower and have decreased further in recent years. Now, only about 3% of UA's heroics graduate's don't make it into their second year. However, nearly all of those are because of deaths." He heard the sharp intake of breath from half the class, and felt Hizashi's hand grip his a little tighter.

"UA trains the best heroes in the country, arguably the best heroes in the world." A bitter smile crossed Aizawa's face. "Sometimes I think that's the problem... We've trained such good little heroes. Their all so selflessly, so eagerly," he spits, unable to keep the disdain from his voice, "willing to make that sacrifice."

"They don't think about what that means, or who they leave behind. And I can't even hold it against them, because they're just doing what they've been trained to do, what we've trained them to do. And I won't- I can't-" His voice breaks, for the second goddamn time in one conversation. Can it really be called a conversation? It's more him talking at a captive, silent and, if he's being honest with himself, probably scared audience. But dammit, if this is what it takes to get it into their thick, self sacrificing skulls, he'd do it a hundred more times.

"I've buried 14 of my students," Aizawa says quietly, in an effort to keep control of his voice and he hardly needs the volume as everyone's scarcely breathing. "Not all of them died in the first year but still…" It shouldn't have happened. I should have done something. They were too young. What did we do wrong? Why were they the only heroes there? Why hadn't it been someone else? The thoughts barged into his head strangling off whatever sentence he was about to say. But he couldn't choke out just yet, he had more to say. He had more to ask.

He let himself have a few deep breaths, ignoring how they shuttered on the way in and out. This was it, this was why he brought the class here in their first year instead of waiting until the school required trip in their third. Because he knew it would be too late by then, they won't take his words seriously, not after three years of conditioning otherwise. And god dammit his heart couldn't take it, not with this class. Not with these kids. His kids.

"I'm going to ask something of you I don't have any right to," Aizawa continued. "It goes against everything I have and will be teaching you as you become heroes. It's isn't fair to ask and it's selfish." He couldn't help how harsh his words sounded, because he did hate himself for asking. It wasn't what heroes did, and they were going to be heroes, "But I'm going to ask anyway, because I couldn't live with myself if I didn't."

"You already know this, some of you unfortunately better than others." He cast meaningful glances at Todoroki, standing straight up face carefully blank, Iida, who was looking directly at him jaw clenched a slight shimmer in his eyes, Bakugou, who was standing eyes closed scowl for once absent from his face. And lastly Midoriya, who was watching intently, like he could transcribe every word into his brain, if he stared hard enough.

"When you are heroes," because it was true that they would be, "you will be put in dangerous situations where you have to make hard choices. Where you will have to weight lives against each other. I won't ask you look the other way because you're heroes and I know you won't." And that was true too, he'd expel them if they did otherwise.

"But allow me to ask, that before you do something reckless, before you make a choice you won't be able to learn from, promise me you'll take a second to think about all the people who care for you, about all the people you will leave behind…. And then, if you can, find another way." He blinked rapidly, looking up to the sky, "Be selfish. If not for yourself, then for the people who love you." The last words came out as barely a whisper from his closing throat, "For me."

The was a few second of silence, Aizawa working hard to force the emotions back down inside of him, but he didn't get a chance because, "Senseeeeiiiii," Ashido wailed, all but hurling herself into him. The surprise made him take a step back, but he didn't get any further as there was now a bright pink teen crying and clinging to the front of his black shirt.

"We're all going to get really strong and be really careful, and we're all going to look out for each other and yell at each other when someone's not being careful. And we'll call for backup and wear armor and rest and eat right and do our laundry and and and," she choked up, sobbing into his shirt, "We'll become really great heroes, so you won't have to worry about us."

Aizawa looked down in a daze, hand hovering hesitantly over her shoulder, completely at a loss of what to do. Luckily no one looked to him to speak, because honestly he wasn't sure if he'd be able to at the moment. Instead, the rest of the class started chiming in.

"Yeah," Kirishima called out, slamming his fist together in his signature move, "It wouldn't be manly to make our teacher worry!"

"It's the least we can do to look after ourselves, after all you have done for us," Iida started, his attempt at professionalism hindered by the tear tracks down his cheeks.

"I don't know how these morons are planning it, but you can sure as hell count me to keep their sorry asses above ground, being a hero's about saving people after all," Bakugou finished gruffly, trying to ignore how Kirishima beamed at him.

"I'm sure, when we work together, we'll be able to watch each others backs," Tsuyu added thoughtfully.

"Yeah," Uraraka cheered, "Just you wait, we'll become really strong heroes you can be proud of!"

"There's no way your getting rid of us that easily," Kaminari yelled.

"Oh, you are never getting rid of us, Sensei!" Hagakure said meaningfully, a slight playfulness filtering into her tone, "Your going to have to come to all of our weddings and we're going to have you watch our kids, and were going to call you in the middle of the night when we have questions on hero paperwork."

Aizawa groaned at that, coming back to himself. "God what have I done," he muttered, beside him Present Mic slung arm over his shoulder and laughed. Still slightly choked up, but bright and genuine and happy.

Far from being discouraged by his words they just seemed to prompt more discussion from the little devils.

"And you have let us be guest lectures for your classes when we all become super famous!" Kaminari called.

"Like you'll become super famous," Jiro scoffed, earning her a pout from the electric child.

"And you have to invite us all to your retirement party," Yaoyorozu added quietly, a small smile playing on her lips.

Hagakure gasped, "Yes, yes!" She cheered waving her arms around wildly, "We'll plan it! It'll be huge! We'll get all the teachers and a bunch your former students, but only the ones you like, which of course means all of us…"

Aizawa tuned her out, momentarily resigning himself to having a giant retirement party. An idea that had never even crossed his mind before, because he didn't think he get there, but now…

He looked over his class, some of them excitedly bouncing, planning his retirement party. They didn't seem to agree on when it would be 10, 20, 100 years. How long did these kids think people normally lived? He heard something about there being cats and lots of soft blankets and maybe not too many people because sensei didn't like lots of attention. Though they were all going to be there. They said it with such confidence, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Some of the others were looking at him and he caught their eyes. There was something different in them. A few still seemed sad, lingering moisture being wiped on sleeves or tissues but… He really got it when he looked at Midoriya, his green eyes magnified by unshed tears, but there was fire in them. He met his teacher's eyes with fierce determination and Aizawa thought that maybe if the walking embodiment of martyrdom that was the problem child got it, then maybe they all did.

Aizawa looked back down at Ashido still holding onto him and sighed, not even trying to mask his fondness with irritation. "Hey kid," he said gently, finally resting his hand on her shoulder, "It's alright."

He felt her nod against him. "Yeah," she whispered, voice choked. "But it's not fair, Sensei." His brows furrowed, what wasn't fair? What he asked? But she was the one who had basically thrown reassurances at him. "You have to promise too."

Oh.

The rest of the class went quite. How had they even heard that? Why did they have such good timing?

"I-"

"You have too!" she interrupted, pulling back just enough to look up at him. Eyes red from crying, but still looking up at him with unbending determination.

"Okay," he said weakly, feeling more powerless in front of a crying teen then any villain he had ever faced.

Her eyes lit up and she threw her arms around him with a cheer. When he didn't push away the rest of the class took that as an invitation and it all became too much.

Aizawa turned and buried his face into Hizashi's shoulder, which made a strong substitute for his absent capture weapon, as at least half the class clambered around him for a group hug.

And if a few tears escaped his perpetually dry eyes into the blondes soft hair, then no one needed to know.

Standing there, surrounded by his amazing kids, his head in the hair of the person he loved most, Aizawa decided that sometimes, maybe, it was ok for heroes to be selfish too.

Notes:

Aaaaaaahhhhhhh. Did it make you cry? It made me cry the first time I thought of this concept! Aizawa's "be selfish for me" speech is what started this fic, as you can probably tell by the title. I hope I did this justice with both Aizawa's speech and the student's reactions. I really felt like Ashido would be the one to run up and hug him, so I hope nothing felt too out of character.

Stay tuned for some nice wrap up and well deserved fluff next chapter! I hope you enjoyed and please leave a review to feed my soul!