Wait, no, the lights are coming back on. The taxi army had assembled, their headlights set to hi-beams as they collectively craved vengeance. Soldiers mingled around them, playing with their radios.

"Ghost Three Nine to ground, do you have target in sight? Over."

"I can't see SHIT."

"Oh ok. Uh, over."

But actually, Ground did see something because this lady wearing a poorly thought-out outfit came charging from an alleyway filled with a suspicious amount of garbage bags.

"HELP! HELP ME!" she hysterically cried at the group of goons with all their guns aimed at her. Their calls of "Freeze!" and "Don't move!" did nothing to stop her as she flung herself into the arms of Ground. The two went on to get married and had a lovely little family. Meanwhile back in the present some bald guy in torn clothes hopped on down the alley after this lady, only to start yelling.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA" it called in its native tongue, summoning a group of oddly similar bald guys in torn clothing. There were some bald girls in torn clothing too but their heads looked like popcorn, so they might not actually be bald. "Raarrrrrgggggghhhhhhh!" another one replied. "OOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUURARRRGH" agreed a third. The group rushed forward at the gunmen.

"WALKERS, OPEN UP" Ground called to his buddies, and they shot a bunch of bullets at the ironically named walkers until they all died to death. One of the popcorn heads was just playing pretend and hopped up after the massacre, only for Ground himself to shoot it, sending it into a triple backflip before falling still. "We're clear. Move up. You," he said, gesturing to the unnamed lady, "with me." Love began to bloom on the battlefield.

But the lady didn't with him, because she was busy sobbing into her hands at the thought of never being able to enjoy a bowl of popcorn again. "How cute" said Ground with a bit of an accent as he blushed through his helmet. However, the subtitle transcriptionist mistook it for "Her too." Ground's buddy, Crazy Bob, pulled out a pistol and manipulated it to make menacing pistol noises as a battle violin began to play ominous music. He aimed the gun at the lady's head with Ground just sorta standing there watching. Crazy Bob, being crazy, often did this as a means of greeting someone. A pull of the trigger and a toot of a battle tuba would have signaled the end of the lady's life had Alex Mercer not been there to stand around dramatically in the background. Crazy Bob's grip on the gun faltered, sending the bullet flying off, and unnamed lady fainted from all the stress but was otherwise unharmed.

"Hey guys, I'd just like to interject for just a moment and let you know that violence against women is not OK" said Alex Mercer.

"That's him!" cried Crazy Bob, pistol now facing Alex-Mercerwards. Ground also aimed his rifle at Alex Mercer, who just sorta stood there smirking before letting out a big red fartcloud as his arms turned into black Play-Doh™ tipped with big ol' spikes. Now properly armed, Alex Mercer rushed at the pair. Crazy Bob missed again and got his entire torso replaced with black Play-Doh™, and then shortly afterwards replaced with air and some blood. Alex Mercer then did a real slick blender impersonation and with a 180 degree spin gave Ground his current nickname of Ground Beef (he's okay though guys).

The other soldiers, Gus, Paul and Chuck all tried to shoot at Alex Mercer. Gus got tossed up in the air and was beside himself after Alex Mercer was finished with him, and while Paul's head was squashed, what really did him in was the bloodthirsty taxi militia after he was thrown at one. Chuck had a modicum of intelligence and sent a grenade tooting on over at Alex Mercer, only for Alex Mercer to swap from Swordmaster to Royal Guard real quick, Royal Block it, and then Royal Release on Chuck's ass.

However, Pvt. Herkimer had snuck up on Alex Mercer and used his strongest move, 「Bazooka Blast」, to finish him off. Alex Mercer just stood around dramatically looking at Chuck's remains before noticing Herkimer's rocket, but it was too late. The explosion coincided with another squeal of battle viola, and a huge puff of smoke went everywhere, increasing the chances of lung cancer for all involved. Herkimer put down his RPG launcher, content that him releasing Fallout 76™ would be enough to slay Alex Mercer where he stood.

The smoke spewing ruins were silent for a minute, aside from a cello groaning out Alex Mercer's leitmotif.

"MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC" came a cry from the smoke-spewing ruins. Herkimer bounded over to check on the unfortunate soul, medkits and monkfish ready to go. "Stay put, you div" he said in rahtha English ahccent. Soon enough he came across Ground, who was on his back against his namesake. Herkimer unsheathed his medkit with a plucky, "stand still, or I'll stick it where the sun don't bloody shine," before activating the Ally Revival Quick Time Event™. He yanked Ground up by the arm, only for Ground to slap his own arm (and the hand at the end of it) on Herkimer's shoulder.

"Where's your commanding officer?" asked Ground, awfully spry for someone who had been in such close proximity to an RPG going off.

"Sir, he's in Times Square." Herkimer spit out, his accent mysteriously subdued. "I'll call for transformers" was what he was going to say, but suddenly big ol' spikes shot up through everything above his sternum and he got cut off after "I'll call for trans..."

"That won't be necessary" said Ground as he revealed he had used his secret counter-move to Herkimer's 「Bazooka Blast」, called 「Be Alex Mercer」.

"Alex Mercer! I should have known all it was you all along!" was what Herkimer would have said if he wasn't gurgling away until his untimely demise. Alex Mercer walked away, leaving him there to keep his gurgling business to himself. Nobody likes a gurgler.

The sun rose very quickly over Manhattan. Only time would tell if nothing would ever be the same.